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Tangent #3: The Reluctant GM
2 Plays1 minute ago
This week we talk about reluctance and anxiety about running games, especially as a new GM. IThis nervousness never goes away, though, as Chris and Tracy attest. We talk about Dot's experiences with her first few games, and offer words of encouragement to those who feel that beautiful desire to share their love of gaming as a GM, but are paralyzed by fear and anxiety that they won't be "good enough."
Our Discord: https://discord.gg/2skmrtYyZU
DTRPG Bundle for Aaron Acevedo: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/563946/aaron-ace-bundle
GoFundMe for Jodi Black's Family: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-jodis-fight-against-pulmonary-fibrosis
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Transcript
Welcome to Tabletop Changents Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
I would fall on my face and everyone would look at me and be like, who the who the hell is this chick? She's a loser. Get her out of here. And genuinely.
00:00:14
Speaker
Hello, friends. Welcome to Tabletop Changents, a podcast about running tabletop RPGs, writing stories, and the sometimes meandering paths we take in pursuit of creativity and inspiration.
Exploring Reluctance in Game Mastery
00:00:34
Speaker
Tangent number three, the reluctant GM.
00:00:46
Speaker
As opposed to the reluctant dragon. there's ah There's many reluctant things, right? Like I seem to remember like a few like either books or even I think movie titles that are like the reluctant something, right?
00:01:00
Speaker
I don't know. all that come All that comes to mind is the reluctant dragon. that i mean, when when this title for this tangent, that was the only thing that came to mind. believe. I wanted to just keep saying the reluctant dragon. Yeah, no, no. I mean, that's that is, I remember that one as well. I want to say there's like the reluctant doorman, and but i could be I could be blurring dragon, but I seemed to i seem to remember, and maybe I'm maybe i'm not a Mandela affecting this, but I seem to remember there's more reluctant dragon.
00:01:30
Speaker
uh things out there well yeah nothing comes to mind for me but now that you've said it the reluctant titles is what we're having problems coming up with yes yeah what it is we're stalling yeah and a little bit a little bit just a touch that's my reluctancy in talking about this topic yeah you're being reluctant exactly completely normal Yeah.
Planning and Inviting Players to Conventions
00:01:54
Speaker
OK, well, one thing to kind of call out, I guess um I had put in our discord that I was going to offer to run right.
00:02:04
Speaker
I'm planning on running it for a couple of con events throughout the year this year. um But, you know, any practice is good practice, right? who absolutely um i would still really like to do that. So if there is anyone that would like to participate, sign up to be a player, I would like to do a couple different sessions so we can be flexible with scheduling. But yeah, just make sure you hop into the Discord. um There's a planning channel that I had set up and I can bring it to the forefront of things at some point.
Overcoming Initial Fears in GMing
00:02:40
Speaker
but Yeah, so today we're going talking about reluctancy with GMing. And I've been put on the spot by my co-hosts because I'm i'm the least experienced. I have the least XP when it comes to GMing. Well, and I think, but I think with that, though, you, in in encouraging you to GM, this is where a lot of your reluctancy came out of. You were very resistant to the idea initially when it was, when it was thrust upon you by a number of individuals. Like, you should do this. You could do this. You have the ability to do this.
00:03:19
Speaker
And you're very much, I'm going to totally speak for you right now. You're very much like, no, no, I, no, no. Are you kidding? I wouldn't be able to. that sound like me? it does. It really does.
00:03:32
Speaker
It's true. i struggled with the idea of failing. I really got scared that I would put myself out there in that space of this hobby that I love so very much.
00:03:50
Speaker
And I would fall on my face and everyone would look at me and be like, who the who the hell is this chick? She's a loser. Get her out of here. and Like genuinely, I had moments of absolute terror leading up to the first time that I ran, which I mean, i all of my worst fears of g GMing have been actualized, unfortunately.
00:04:18
Speaker
so like the first time that I was going to run, i had a full group all set aside, trusted people that I knew were going to support me and encourage me and give me positive feedback and, you know, constructive feedback in a way that wasn't absolutely debilitating.
00:04:38
Speaker
i I cultivated my group carefully. Well, we all get ready to sit down to play. and one of the guys got pulled away for a work call.
00:04:50
Speaker
So we kind of waited and delayed for a little bit. And that delay went from 15 minutes to a half hour half hour to 45, 45 to an hour. and by that point, I was like, OK, we're done.
Legendary Game Interruptions
00:05:01
Speaker
We're going to just not it's just not going to happen. hmm. So then we had to deal with the rigmarole of rescheduling and in the rescheduling resulted the infamous fire alarm instance, which, you know, thanks for that, Chris.
00:05:17
Speaker
Appreciate it. You weren't going to, you weren't going to get out of this topic without me bringing it up. I'm here to help. Yeah, sure. By being absolutely just defiant. Yeah. But, okay, so, I mean, that's, you know, listen, and I don't want to tangent from the tangent, but this is one of those situations where this story has taken on, like, an operator life, because... Because the legend of the fire alarm story is nothing like the reality of the fire alarm story. But I'm not here to refute the legend because it exists. It's fun. Everybody gets a laugh out of it. It's like Southeast Asian economics. It's that kind of thing. That the same game. That was the same game, Christopher. I know. See, it has become a legendary game.
00:06:11
Speaker
ah and It's become a trauma of mine. yeah well we Now we have to hear it. Okay. Basically, i had written a one shot for Savage Worlds, ETU, right?
00:06:27
Speaker
And um there was a portion of the adventure that my push as a GM to get the players to move from location a to location B Was to use a
Managing Player Divergence
00:06:45
Speaker
fire alarm. Right. so like they're in these dorms and I have this fire alarm go off thinking that they'll all make their way to the hallway and then.
00:06:57
Speaker
bestley move down the stairs or however to the lobby or corridor. just thought they would freaking leave. yeah Okay, interesting. chris interesting yeah Chris is over here like, yeah, I don't go anywhere. i was like, dude, what the fuck are you doing right now? Why are you doing this to me?
00:07:16
Speaker
and it It actually ended up interrupting the flow of the game because I had to look at Chris and be like, listen, if you don't go, you will miss the rest of the adventure. So if you don't want to go that's fine. And...
00:07:31
Speaker
He was like, well, you aren't really giving me much of a choice here. I said, yep, this is going to be a portion of the game that is a little bit railroading because I want you to move to this. Then you'll have choices. And truly, i think you handled it excellently.
00:07:45
Speaker
ah You were dealing with a player who had a different perception of the game and what was happening in the game. Oh, okay.
00:07:57
Speaker
i i know smiling as i say this but i'm being one hundred percent serious in this in that you handled that very well okay so yeah i was the reluctant player but legitimately and we had this discussion afterwards i cited to you my motivations for having my character stay. It wasn't just me being a belligerent player. I was even citing like documented evidence of my own college life when fire alarms would go off. And that is what I used because it was this college-based game i My reasoning, like, okay, so a fire alarm goes off in the dorm room. Ha ha, college pranks. You know, I'm not going to go anywhere because, wait now, because I had the assumption that this stuff probably happened several times. And on top of that,
00:08:43
Speaker
I felt as a player that that this the the the fire alarm going off was actually a diversion or a distraction from something that was going to happen in the dorm. I legitimately thought that something was going to happen in the dorm. And so I thought, well, wait a minute.
00:09:00
Speaker
All those mofos are going. I'm going to stay because this is where the action
Balancing System Knowledge and Adaptability
00:09:05
Speaker
really is. Now, granted, I was 100% wrong. but Yeah, no. But i was very I was very secure in my my motivations for doing that until you basically just said, no, no, no, you have to leave now.
00:09:19
Speaker
and Please leave now. Please go. i but If I remember correctly, i looked at you after you were like, no, I'm staying here. And I just went, why?
00:09:34
Speaker
um But OK, so to add to your personal experience, this is my personal experience, I grew up of the generation that we were all terrified we were going to spontaneously combust into flame.
00:09:49
Speaker
ah Stop, drop and roll was beaten into us. Sure. so sure ah like you hear a fire alarm go off. Everyone makes notice of it. OK, people are moving. We got to go. All right. Time to leave.
00:10:03
Speaker
yeah Fire drills, man. It it makes made made makes perfect sense. My generation was definitely not that way. So, you know, but i you know i get where you're coming from. So, yeah, this is interesting because we're tangenting off of our our our main thing a little bit. But I do want to point out as part of this story is Part of the GM's job is to try to figure out what players are going to do, right? i mean, you're not going to know what players are going to do. And that's the other part is like, okay, I'm trying to manipulate players to do certain things. And and to a certain degree, we are. Even even in a completely pure sandbox game, you're going to be trying to get them to you know follow some kind of thread or whatever. And you're going to be using tactics to do that. Yeah.
00:10:56
Speaker
In this case, even if you're relatively sure that the fire alarm is going to evict players or PCs from the room, you have to have a backup plan for if one of them stays.
00:11:10
Speaker
And you didn't have that backup plan. My backup plan was cry. yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting guilt you people into leaving. I will say this is one of the differences between GMs who've done this a while and those who haven't. I think you probably know that now, Dot, where you're like, yeah, I should have had some kind of like lever that I can say, Chris, no, really, this is the, this, you really need to do something different. You need to do what I want you to do.
00:11:40
Speaker
And an in-game reason is ideal. an out-of-game reason is the backup plan. Like you say, no, the adventure's over here. Go over here.
00:11:50
Speaker
And that's okay. Absolutely. And and I think that's why that's why I think that your response, your your ultimate response to get me to go was perfectly acceptable because in the context of like, okay, we all kind of, whether we explicitly agreed or it was just sort of understood, we have about three and a half, four hours to go through this entire adventure.
00:12:10
Speaker
You
Motivations and Encouragement for GMing
00:12:11
Speaker
know, you are facing those time that that that clock time pressure. So absolutely. You know, hold on. Stop the action. You need to go. And then, now okay, let's pick it back up. and And everything went fine after that.
00:12:23
Speaker
Yeah. So was that was that the only problem in that game? I mean,
00:12:30
Speaker
i think my pacing was, if I'm remembering correctly, I think my pacing was on point. Oh. Mm-hmm. that yeah That's always but that's been something that I've always done really well from the get go was is just like paying attention to the clock, paying attention to the momentum and keeping it going.
00:12:49
Speaker
Now, I will say that part of that was me completely dodging combat. That's a different tangent. Sure. And the the the point here is not to talk about the combat, but to talk about the reluctancy. Right.
00:13:02
Speaker
Yes, for me, I think it is a system knowledge problem. i don't feel comfortable running combat because I it's not a driver for me as a player, but it is for other people. So I need to shift my mentality as a GM to give more combat allowance i don't think that's true Well, no, no, no. I just I mean, i mean, in the context of like making sure that if I do have a combat that occurs in a game that I'm not just skipping through it, like I'm allowing the players to experience that combat and I have to be just as engaged with it in those moments.
00:13:44
Speaker
i get I kind of get where you're coming from, at least certainly when it comes to like rules knowledge and you know coherency. yeah That is something even after you know ah multiple runnings of of various games that it still ends up being something that ah bothers me, especially when it comes to Savage Worlds. There are so many times...
00:14:06
Speaker
I can recall like leading up to an encounter or even just completely forgetting that this would happen in a certain set encounter. I'd have to reread, um like the assault rifle rules or the you know full auto rules or whatever. and and and And then remember them you know when the time when the time comes, that kind of thing. Or or some of those some of those interesting little nuances in there that I forget and that I didn't plan for because my players remembered. And then suddenly my combat starts to like take a nosedive because I start sucking at it. And and not just because of dice rolls.
00:14:45
Speaker
That's what I mean. That that's part of the fear is the having to step out of like my engagement because I have to re familiarize myself with the rules. And like in those moments, I feel like it completely stalls the adventure because then it becomes, you know, everyone around the table is like, well, what does this rule mean? And what does this rule mean? And no, this is how you're supposed to do this. No, I think it's supposed to be this way. And I've completely lost control. And then I feel like it's much harder to bring it back.
00:15:20
Speaker
Interesting. those That's tough. That's tough. I mean, I felt that for sure. I don't feel it so much as anymore, but then again, I've been doing this for a long time. And even when I don't know,
00:15:34
Speaker
or when i'm And I always, always make mistakes. I'm going to make mistakes. We're all going to make mistakes. It doesn't matter how much system mastery you have. I don't care if you're Shane Daryl or me, you're going to make mistakes.
00:15:47
Speaker
And it's okay. It's okay. but But my concern is that feeling of I need to know everything before I can do anything.
00:15:59
Speaker
And that is that's where I'm trying to lead ah you away from. It's hard to get there because it's it's, you don't, if you don't want to engage with combat, then go up front and say, i don't want to engage with combat. We're to do quick encounters for this game.
00:16:21
Speaker
Yeah. Right. And that, that takes a whole bunch of pressure off you. Right. Yeah. Right up front. And, and i mean, I don't know that that that i'm I'm, I'm just, I'm acknowledging that it's hard and that, that, that, that comes up, especially when you're new to it. Oh man. I remember early home cluster runs where it just was a disaster and poor Daryl is trying to encourage me and say, no, no, no, it was fine.
00:16:49
Speaker
It was fine. I'm like, no, no it wasn't. wasn't fine. But here's where I want to go. right Is, is, what what motivates you to want to run?
00:17:01
Speaker
like there Is there a motivation or is it pure pressure from you know people like me and Chris? Is it pure people saying you should run a game or is there something inside you that says, oh no, I want to be able to do this. I've seen people do it really well. I've had fun at their games. I want to be able to do that. Is is that there?
00:17:22
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, there's the pressure from peers for sure. yeah And and but and it's not in a way that guilts me, I guess, is like the best way to put it there.
00:17:38
Speaker
There is a part of me at first. That. Very much so was like, I'm letting them down because I'm too wrapped up in my own shit.
00:17:50
Speaker
i need to get over this. Otherwise, I'm just going to continue to like let my people down. And i don't want to keep doing that. So there was a little there was that fear that I had to overcome as well.
00:18:06
Speaker
But then also, like, I've grown up around. tabletop gaming like when I was you know six years old I was going with my dad to his best friend's house and they would stay up until like two o'clock in the morning gaming and I would be asleep in one of the bunk beds in their son's room like i have been surrounded by this hobby for almost my entire life and you know my dad got me engaged in it really early so it's always been one of those things that like
00:18:42
Speaker
At some point, I want to be able to do this. At some point, I want to get good at this and have people like seek me out to run games for them.
00:18:52
Speaker
i don't know that we'll ever get there, but. You know, it it it is an aspiration and There was a period, and i' i'll I'll give my other example of how my worst fears were actualized. Sure.
00:19:10
Speaker
The second game that I ever ran ah afterwards, one of my players just gave me absolutely scathing feedback.
00:19:21
Speaker
Like, just... destroyed me um i mean told me never to run again that it's not i'm not good at it i shouldn't put any more time into it don't don't try and run again because you don't know what you're doing and i i read that message from that individual and i was like well
00:19:50
Speaker
think I'm going to listen to that. That doesn't seem right. Because everyone else that was at that table gave me completely opposite advice, completely opposite feedback. And I was like, I feel like these people actually are caring about what I did what I tried and how it came to fruition. I i was really proud of what I had done.
00:20:15
Speaker
So to then get that kind of a feedback from one player at the table that, you know, was just grabby about how their experience went. I mean, I did my best.
00:20:26
Speaker
I felt more of a sense of coming into my own skill set because i got the nasty feedback. I got the nasty criticism that was the fear like, oh, my God, what if they hate me?
00:20:43
Speaker
And it happened, but i I didn't burst into flames and i have run again since and it's only gotten better and I've only enjoyed it more. So, you know, keep rolling.
00:20:57
Speaker
It strikes me as the other the other players there seem to really understand the assignment in the broader context. And and not that not that, oh,
00:21:11
Speaker
This is her second game. So let's, you know, let's just tell her she did a good job regardless. It's this is her second game. And sure, we're probably going to notice things that just might have been like, well, that was a little odd or so this little thing here.
00:21:25
Speaker
But we're going to completely forgive all those because they know whether through experience of their own or just because they realize the context of what's happening, that nothing that you did was so egregious that you deserve any sort of real negative feedback.
00:21:43
Speaker
You know what i mean? Right. Which is kind of really the way I think to approach it, having that sort of broader... appreciation for what's happening. what's happening um i you know I know for like for me personally, when we went through the the ETU game, I really had zero problems with how you ran things. like I do agree with you, actually. I thought your pacing was was on track. There was a story that was that was followable. The things that we were doing were exciting. um And there were no really, I felt like there were no nits to pick. you know It was it was a a decently run game.
00:22:20
Speaker
You know, you mentioned that whole, what if they hate me thing. I don't think that ever really goes away. No. um No. Great.
00:22:33
Speaker
I mean, especially you're running a lot of con games and you do get those strangers there, that that that that fear is real because I don't know who this player is. i don't know what type of game they prefer.
00:22:50
Speaker
i know what type of game I'm going to run, you know, and I may have to make adjustments on the fly if I start to learn something about this player. But you just never know. you know what I mean? Yeah.
The Thrills of Running Convention Games
00:23:01
Speaker
Well, kind of speaking on on that, why run con games versus why run, you know, for a home group or online or what have you, right? So my most recent jamming experience was at a a home convention. Yeah, I think a home convention would probably be the best way to, yeah.
00:23:24
Speaker
Chris and I have a mutual friend that runs a con out of his house. And it actually it was really fun. It was it was a really good time. I had already told the host that i would run. i was going to run eat the Reich.
00:23:38
Speaker
Apparently, the night before I was able to come, like the first night of the con that was being spread like wildfire. Oh, that's going to be here. She's going to run eat the Reich. Everybody's got to sign up.
00:23:49
Speaker
So, you know, I get a message from him saying, like, be prepared to run. OK, cool. ill I'll get there. I'll chill for a little bit. Well, I'll get myself set up. No, that's not what happened at all.
00:24:02
Speaker
I walk in the door. i see Josh and he's like, OK, you're running at one fifteen. It was one o'clock.
00:24:13
Speaker
So I was like, oh, oh, okay. ah It's happening. So we get me like set up at a table. And what was really just so encouraging in the moment is that there were a bunch of people that came up to me and was like, oh, you're running ETHRike? Oh, okay. Yeah, i I overheard what this game was about. I really want to play.
00:24:35
Speaker
And that was really exciting. That was really encouraging. i was, you know, the adrenaline had started flowing. And by the time we got downstairs, got situated, josh kept trying to give me all of his fancy dice tray stuff. And I was like, hey, man,
00:24:51
Speaker
This is all this is really nice and everything, but I don't need all this fancy stuff. But thank you. And by the time we're getting ready to like everybody sat down, we've handed out character pregens and I've started explaining the system a little bit like i was locked in.
00:25:09
Speaker
I was good to go. i knew what I was doing. i had my rhythm set, everything like I was ready. And after it was all said and done every single person at that table, like walked away saying that was amazing. That was so much fun. i had such a good time. And I was like, oh, well, this was it. Now i'm hooked. Damn it. Awesome.
00:25:33
Speaker
Awesome. Yeah. i guess Let me tell you, like that process happens no matter how, I mean, I'm pretty experienced. That process happens to me every time.
00:25:44
Speaker
So especially cons. I mean, cons are cons are special because there's a risk reward at cons that that you don't get anywhere else.
00:25:56
Speaker
Whereas you're in the hotel room, you know, 20 minutes before you've got to be down there and get ready to run a game. i am... Less now, but still very much nervous and feeling like, what the hell am I doing here?
00:26:15
Speaker
i mean I mean, I came to this con, I'm sitting here in a hotel room, I put up big money to be here, and now I'm going to put myself out there in front of a bunch of strangers.
00:26:26
Speaker
And i don't want to do it. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm like, oh man, I'd rather just go to sleep right now. i'd I'd rather do anything else than what I'm about to do.
00:26:37
Speaker
and yet... i I
Game Mastering as a Performance Art
00:26:40
Speaker
follow through. I go through and I do this stuff because when I say I'm going to do it, I do it. And so I take my stuff down there. i get at the table. People are coming in. And most times, especially when people come and join the table and I know I've got a full table, that's the first big boost. When that first player sits down?
00:27:01
Speaker
Yeah, like when the first player sits down and then when the when the fifth player sits down, when I've got everybody there. Oh, that's that that's a huge relief, right? When I've got a full table. Hold on, hold on. home So when the last player at the table sits down, that's that's a relief for you? Yes. Really? Because that's like when the real fear hits me.
00:27:24
Speaker
my My fight or flight is like, no, no, I think it's time for flight. Yeah. We need to run now. you sure I need to go now? Yeah, because, you know, you know you've got, it like, like the i i don't I don't mean to like completely interrupt you and take over, but like with that process, as the individual players sit down, you know, it it fluctuates for me between...
00:27:46
Speaker
Okay. All right. There's one person here. Oh, okay. Here comes the second one. I probably could still say at this point, I'm i'm i'm not feeling well. I think I need to cancel and then, you know, beat feet out of there.
00:27:56
Speaker
But by the time that last one sits down, like, oh, well, shit. Now there is no more stalling. I have to, I have to start the game. You know, the curtain is about to go up. The overture is done playing and yeah like, you know, okay, let's go. um But yet at the same time, like it's it's like parallel, like,
00:28:14
Speaker
stuff going on there. You've got that absolute terror happening, but then at the same time, it is that adrenaline that you mentioned and you are like, yeah, let's do this. I'm ready. Let's go. Yeah. You know, and you just want to, you want to get started. Yeah. For me, it's the, the first player showing up is like, Oh no, no, I'm going to, no, I'm going to one way or the other.
00:28:36
Speaker
I'm going to have to deal with this player. Right? So either I'm going to have to run a game for them or I'm going to have to say, oops, I can't run a game for you. Sure. Right. i mean, that's that's it. As more players come in,
00:28:50
Speaker
the more relaxed I get because I want all my players there. If I can get a full table, usually my games are better for it. I can run three. depending it depends on the adventure, right? I can run fewer, but I'd much rather have a full table.
00:29:06
Speaker
And when I get all of them, then the relief hits. I'm like, okay, whew. I've got everybody now. That's awesome. They want to be here. Fantastic. And then the spotlight is about to hit me.
00:29:18
Speaker
And once the spotlight hits me is when things change. When I start the game, when I'm like, okay, Let me tell you about this particular game and I'll tell you about Savage Worlds and I go into autopilot description, blah, blah, blah, being a GM.
00:29:38
Speaker
And it's like a light goes on because until that point, I'm pretty quiet. I'm studying my iPad to remember the adventure to make sure I've got everything set. I've got all my stuff ready. I'm not really interacting too much. They're usually interacting with each other.
00:29:54
Speaker
And then once I start, it's a performance. It's it's me getting on stage and... turning it on. for sure. And I love that aspect of it.
00:30:04
Speaker
And my whole goal is to make sure that they can begin playing the game, not like feeling like, well, what are we doing? Or i don't know how to roll a thing, or i don't know what my character cares about or whatever.
Creating a Feedback Loop with Players
00:30:18
Speaker
Once we get past all that, hopefully as fast as possible, maybe 30 minutes, maybe less, then we're playing and then I'm in it.
00:30:28
Speaker
And then it's completely easy.
00:30:32
Speaker
it then it's joyful in fact because then i'm joking around i'm feeling relaxed i'm feeling very confident in what i'm doing the players are actually interacting in the way that i'm hoping that that they would so all is going well at that point right Yeah, no, that does happen for sure. i think the only other thing that I add is, you know, somewhere around the second scene is when I notice that, geez, I'm really starting to sweat, you know.
00:31:01
Speaker
That's when you got to kind of do like the stealth sniffs, you know, just to make sure that everything's okay. But um yeah. I would never know. i would never know. Somebody has to tell me. Somebody has to do like a drive-by at my table and be like, Dad, you fucking reek. Yeah. But it is it is. It is very much um it's it's very much it's it's very much of a one-person show sort of thing as you're as you're going through that. and it's in ah that One of the things, too, and this isn't necessarily about reluctance, but I think it is a tool that helps to defeat some of the reluctance and that fear is having –
00:31:40
Speaker
Some of those rehearsed bits, that's one of the nice parts about running multiple games of the same, or multiple things of the same game, is like, you know, yep, you've got your Savage World spiel, I've got my Savage World spiel. And that is an excellent tool to get you into the mode because it helps put you into that space, that headspace. And nice refresher for even...
00:32:08
Speaker
ah yourself. And i have found too, it is a good place to display a little bit of your GM personality um and giving the players, because this is important as well, giving the players a read on what you're going to be like, you know, whether you have a reputation or not, you know, so Oh, I've heard a lot about this Husk guy He's supposed to be really good. And then you watch me do like my opening spiel. and It's like, I think these people lied to me.
00:32:35
Speaker
you know and then i almost I almost have his opening Savage World spiel memorized. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. No, it's a good diving board. And and i don't want to say, i don't want to like give the impression that it's all on you because it's not.
00:32:52
Speaker
it but But it is your table and you're setting that tone. And once you've set it, a lot of players, and I'm not saying everybody, but a lot of players will follow you.
00:33:06
Speaker
Right. And if you have, if you can even fake the confidence that you're setting a tone in a way that like, this is the way I run games. This is the way I'm going to do it. and this is And I want to invite you to play with me.
00:33:20
Speaker
Right? Once you do that, you get buy-in and all of a sudden it's way easier for you. And if you if you run a good game, like meaning, and most most of the time you will, there there might be like variation about how you feel about it at the end.
00:33:38
Speaker
But man, when there's a good one, a really good one that I felt like, okay, we all clicked together. I've led the table well. I managed my time well. You know, we we had a satisfactory complete ending or whatever. There's no feeling like that.
00:33:54
Speaker
And all those nerves and terror and i want to go home or go to sleep, ah feelings at the beginning of the game go away and all you want to do is talk about what just happened there's there's there's two things too that that I always try to remember and and you you actually you have brought up both of those one of them you're talking about you know It's that sort of faking it till you make it, but it is essentially, it's like popping a clutch on on a car to get it running. Once you get that energy feedback loop going and you're throwing out energy that you may or may not actually have, depending upon what day of the con it is and what time it is. But if you are faking that energy and those players pick it up,
00:34:39
Speaker
Most of the time they're going to feed it back to you. And then it then it becomes legitimate at that point. And you are absolutely psyched and um ready to go. And the other one, and I learned this in my days when I used to work at a video rental store. For those kids out there who remember that. um Much like a video rental place.
00:35:00
Speaker
Everybody who's there, they want to be there. So they want to have a good time. yeah they are they are They are not reluctant players. They signed up for this. And you might be feeling reluctance, but none of them are.
00:35:14
Speaker
so And that's not to be taken as a nervousness like, well, you know shit, these people paid like $2 or $8 to play this game. Now I have to run it well. Yeah. But they're predisposed to having that good time. And so it sort of makes the lift a little bit easier.
00:35:30
Speaker
Yes. they're they're they're Very, very, very few players are there to criticize how you run the game. They're there to facilitate having fun.
00:35:44
Speaker
They're there to to help you have fun. Right? And it's hard to remember that sometimes. Yeah. um especially at home or in groups of friends. Like they're there to have fun. they're not They're not there to criticize you.
00:36:00
Speaker
Very few are exceptions to that rule. It happens. I've had really bad con games, but that's the risk reward. That said though, is that risk is worth the reward because 99% the time or 95% of the time,
00:36:20
Speaker
um I have a good game. I have a good game. And the more confident I am the better the game usually is. Because a lot of the times I don't, whenever I don't have a good game is because I'm beating myself up.
00:36:36
Speaker
It's not because anybody else has beaten me up. So that, I mean, that's, it's just things to keep in mind. It's not, it doesn't make it easier for you to not do it. Right.
00:36:47
Speaker
Right. But um at the same time, like Chris says, there's that feedback loop that happens. And boy, if you can get past that hump, and this is not only the hump of the day of and no matter what experience you have, but the hump of this is going to take a while for me to level up.
00:37:07
Speaker
Because it it is, it it's its's it's like learning an instrument or it's like, it's it's any any of those really difficult things that you want to learn. it takes time to learn how to do it and to get comfortable doing it and to be like, have a second nature about doing it.
00:37:26
Speaker
But boy, it's worth it's worth that process, I think, especially if you've got that innate excitement about wanting to do it, wanting to have that feeling and wanting to have people want to come back to your game because there's nothing like that either.
00:37:41
Speaker
Right. You've got people coming back again and again and and because they know you. Because they know that you run a good game. They know that that if it's a Tracy game, they're going to get a good game.
00:37:53
Speaker
And that's really cool. actually i have a question for you, Dodd, about this, which is somewhat which is somewhat related. So you're you're trying to rustle up a game in the Discord.
00:38:05
Speaker
You have already, youre you you are going to be running at GameHulkCon. Yes. And you're running also at Daikon, right?
00:38:15
Speaker
Yes? Correct. Okay. Yes. So... What are you most looking forward to, if anything, in regards to this? Like, like is there a particular thing? or and what are you more most concerned about as as you do actual legitimate con game running?
Preparation vs. Adaptability in Game Sessions
00:38:36
Speaker
Well, one of the notes in our outline, actually, this it made me laugh um because Tracy made specific mention of prep is not as critical as you think.
00:38:49
Speaker
I know you don't believe me. That's what I said. i Yeah, that you did. i've i've I've changed my tune on prep. When I ran for when I ran Eat the Reich for that other con event, I did little to no prep.
00:39:04
Speaker
I identified which locations I wanted them to go to. And I had like a little two, three sentence blurb as an introduction for each of those locations.
00:39:17
Speaker
But that was it. That was it. I'm so proud of you. thanks. So i want to i want to try and have a similar approach going into these two different cons.
00:39:32
Speaker
And I think the thing that I am most nervous about is nobody signing up for my games. Yeah. i think I think that's the thing that would make me kind of big sad. Mm-hmm.
00:39:50
Speaker
The thing that I am most excited about, man, I sound like a junkie, but like that, that adrenaline high that just when you kick off the game and it really just kind of jolts through you.
00:40:07
Speaker
yeah that. Yeah. Because it's fun. and I had a lot of fun running and I could tell that the people that I was running for were also having fun with me. Like,
00:40:18
Speaker
I know that I may mention that Etherike is probably one of my favorite games because it really just is. i am not a collector of games or systems or anything like that. And the first time that I played that game, i knew that I wanted to own it. And that never happens for me, like hardly ever.
00:40:38
Speaker
And that has stayed true. And I think getting to experience it on the other end as a game master really just reinforces that love for me.
Sharing the Joy of the Game
00:40:50
Speaker
and it was having the players at the table with me like we were making jokes back and forth and it was getting gory and it got a little raunchy, which is exactly what that game caters to And it was just like There is this part of me that came through that was like, oh, yeah, this is this is just a part of my soul presenting itself in nerd form for all of you. You're welcome.
00:41:19
Speaker
And I want to do that again. e These are my people. Yeah, these are my people. Exactly. First of all, prep isn't as critical as you think. And and a little prep is fine, but but there's there's something to be said. even I still feel uncomfortable if I haven't done a lot of prep.
00:41:40
Speaker
But I also am now more much more confident in the fact that like, well... i've got the i've got I've got the outline. I've got the sense of what's going to happen. I know, kind of. And i I just have to trust it.
00:41:56
Speaker
just have to trust it. And that's super uncomfortable for somebody who's very preparatory like I am. But man, it took years to get there. Yes. Years. Yeah. Years. my The first game that I ran, the that ETU game, I wrote out freaking block text for myself because I was like, I'm eventually going have to say this shit because if I don't write it down, I'm going to forget.
00:42:20
Speaker
And then I'm not going to get things going the right direction. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And there's something to be said for that. I've got a lot of adventures with block tests because because I want to express it in a certain way and I want to not make make sure I don't forget anything.
00:42:34
Speaker
That's okay. there's other that's That's okay. That's admirable. I was coming from a standpoint of I need to pigeonhole myself into this exact dialogue. Otherwise, things won't happen the way that I want them to. And I was trapping myself in my own fear of improv.
00:42:56
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I know. I'm an absolute slut for box tech. So I'm not really, I don't really, my my opinion, my opinion, I love it so much. i I've loved it since the first day I read it in some AD&D module. And I was like, this is...
00:43:14
Speaker
for some reason, this is scratching part of my brain that I'm never going to not want to have scratched. It is. is i And not only reading it, but writing it. I love everything about it. And it's weird. ah It's like I got a box text kink or something. There's just something about box text for me that is that is great. And I think that's part of the reason why it took me forever like you know to get through and realize that i don't I know I don't have to prep as much.
00:43:42
Speaker
But... Damn, if I don't make sure I write down some box text. and Me too. every adventureture i do And for me, it's less box text about like description and more box text with dialogue from NPCs. Sure. I love it. I love writing it. I love acting it. I love doing all that stuff. And there's some stuff coming up in Han Cluster that I think you guys are going to love.
00:44:06
Speaker
Can't wait. Have some very interesting, crazy characters with box decks that I get to act out. And i love that. I love doing it. And it it it not only, again, allows me to express everything that's important, but also do it in a way that's entertaining.
00:44:23
Speaker
Right. yeah Absolutely. that's That I can plan out, that I that that i can rehearse. And I do rehearse. Right. I do. i i act these things out in my room all by myself to make sure that I'm doing it the way I think would be fun.
00:44:38
Speaker
Absolutely. 100%. And then when you do that, you kind of get your voice and the improv can come. Right. Like it's like, okay, here's, this is Lieutenant Collins from Hong cluster. I've got this box text here that I'm going to read and it's awesome. It's really cool. But now that I'm, now that I've got that, I can actually talk in character much more confidently.
00:45:00
Speaker
So when you ask me questions or, you know, whatever, I can still be Lieutenant Collins. And that's, that, that helps me. It helps me. And that's part of prep that I do love, but the prep that I that I know I don't have to do is just knowing every eventuality for every contingency.
00:45:22
Speaker
That's the stuff that you, you shouldn't do and can't do. Yep. That's where I started. And I think that I've grown a lot But i I want you to feel that, Dot. I want you to i want ah our our audience, anybody who might be reluctant, whether you're experienced or not, I want you to feel that buzz, that that that high of presenting a game and having a feedback loop and feeling like you nailed it and that people had a lot of fun and that you know you you you really facilitated something special.
00:46:03
Speaker
at the end. There's nothing quite like that. And sometimes it takes, you get the isolated incident of that early on, but it becomes more and more common as you level up.
00:46:17
Speaker
Like you'll get more of those and more often and more regularly as you get better at it. It's not that they will never, they won't be there at first. You will have them, but you'll have more of them later.
00:46:32
Speaker
And it takes years. It just does. But it's so but it's worth it. It is. It is. Anyway, there's stuff in our outline that we did not cover. So we have more fodder for future episodes. But um we were a little reluctant to get to it.
00:46:54
Speaker
Thanks for hanging out with us. Whether you're behind the screen, at the table, or lost in your own story, we hope you found a little inspiration. if you enjoy our tangents, be sure to connect with us on Discord and follow us on socials to keep the conversation going.
00:47:09
Speaker
Until next time.
00:47:20
Speaker
You know, I actually got invited to play on an Etherike live stream, but I had to bow out of it because it's on Haunt Cluster Thursdays. Yeah, right? Good for me. yeah Good for you.