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EP 35: Terrible Twos?
2.2k Plays2 years ago
Have we entered the terrible twos?! Sometimes it feels like it. In this week’s episode, the moms vent about how absolutely psychotic toddlers can be sometimes. Who knew accidentally giving your child the red cup instead of the blue cup could ruin your morning?
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Transcript
Introduction to Mom Group Chat
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up, my beautiful, beautiful moms? I am Whitney Williams, and I'm here with my best friend Candice, and this is the Mom Group Chat podcast. You were a firsty lasty today. You said your first and last name.
00:00:27
Speaker
Oh, why did I do that? I hate doing this, everyone. God, these intros really be putting pressure on us. They really do. I swear every time I say something that I'm like, I didn't mean to say that, but here we are. Well, I feel like any time you do it, you go, well, I'm going to mess it up. And so I have to like.
00:00:47
Speaker
close my eyes because I'm scared I'm going to laugh and ruin it anytime you do the intro. I mess it up every time.
Nostalgic Talks: Cereal and Breakfasts
00:00:54
Speaker
We were just discussing what cereals we ate and what Candace is craving. It made me laugh. We were at the store and I saw a box of frosted flakes and I was like, I have to have you. Like I have to bring this box of frosted flakes.
00:01:12
Speaker
You're going home with me. I distinctly have a memory. It was like the only cereal my grandma had at her house. So it reminds me. It's like a grandma cereal to me. I grew up on Frosted Flakes and Honey Nut Cheerios. I feel like those are the two. And you know what? Rice Krispies. But like plain. But we used to put sugar on it.
00:01:37
Speaker
Classic 90s. Yeah, we used to literally put have a b- and I remember all the sugar would sink to the bottom of the milk and by the end you were just scooping like gooey sugar. Did you ever do that? I did that with life cereal. It already is coated in sugar, but let me add some more, you know? It's so crazy. My mom always had Honey Nut Cheerios and Life that was like
00:02:01
Speaker
It must have been a Weight Watchers or like, or Honey Nut Cheerios had like a, no, that was special K. They had like a diet where it was like, eat two bowls of this a day. And you'll be skinny and- Which is such bullshit. Oh my God. Like, oh my God. Diet culture back in the nineties was so crazy. Well, the shit we ate growing up, like I was saying that I ate like Oreo O's and Reese's puffs, all the cavity inducing cereals, and I always ate Pop Tarts.
00:02:31
Speaker
It's also like the fact that my parents just like let us eat all of that stuff like zebra cakes and why were you eating zebra cakes in the morning? That's like a dessert. No, I'm not joking. This is a conversation we have in my family once once once every six months. So my mom worked nights for a lot of my childhood. So my dad was the one who got us up, got us ready for school and took us to school.
00:03:01
Speaker
So and my dad was so unhinged. He let us eat in the morning. He would just grab whatever was packaged and around and then he would grab an entire two liter of Mountain Dew.
00:03:18
Speaker
And we would drink a cup, like we had a big cup that we would pass around the car on the way to school. Cause I lived like 30, 40 minutes from my school. So we had a pretty decent commute and we would pass around this giant cup of Mountain Dew. I feel like.
00:03:39
Speaker
I know a lot about you and I didn't know any of this, Candice. I don't know you. And my mom had no idea until we were later in life and we were talking about what we used to drink on the way to school and my mom was like, I'm sorry, excuse me? You guys were hopped up on the fact that
00:04:02
Speaker
Bob, you sly dog, feeding your kids. I actually wasn't a chubby child. I was pretty fit, honestly. I was a thick girl. And I'm like, how was I not 100, like 50 pounds in the... I just...
00:04:20
Speaker
I would I feel like I should have been obese with the things and we would eat zebra cakes and powdered donuts and those those chocolate cake donuts on the way to school like the 90s was literally like you said a hinge like if you look pop tarts are like 400 and something calories for the two pack it's like oh my god that's that's a lot but I don't know I ate them when I was pregnant I was like um a cherry toasted pop tart
00:04:49
Speaker
I wanted to I Vinnie loves pop tarts he eats them all the time but it's crazy now to think of the things that I like worry about Alice eating like oh no she's too many too many yogurt pouches today or like whatever and it's like please bitch I was chugging Mountain Dew when I was four on the way to school
00:05:12
Speaker
So clearly it's fine. Yeah, we're fine. And also, I think the reason we started this conversation is because I am drinking a Dr. Pepper right now, which I don't do very often. I would say and I think I mentioned this in a Q&A at some point, my like biggest pregnancy craving is soda. Oh. And I drink way more soda when I'm pregnant. It's so bad for you. Well, I can I try not to. But I can attest, though, like, you know,
00:05:40
Speaker
alcohol not being in your like rotation anymore. It's like, well, what's my other kick? And it's like a soda is fun. I'm going to treat myself to a coke mine. I like cherry coke. So it also is a for me, like it makes me feel less nauseous, less nauseous. Yeah. So it like helps my stomach and it's my nausea is back. I'm assuming just because my organs are squished, but
00:06:08
Speaker
compressed to the max. I now like am nauseous all the time, which is so annoying.
Clinic Chaos and ER Stories
00:06:14
Speaker
So well, dude, I have to tell you what happened with Graydon. So this is so crazy. Graydon had caught like a tiny cold and was complaining of ear pain. So I was like, oh, I like I'm not even a message the pediatrician. Like I'm going to go to the walking clinic before I drop him off a daycare and see if he just needs antibiotics. I was like, I'll be in and out. Yeah.
00:06:37
Speaker
Boy was I fucking rang. It was like the worst day. I freaking took him. I guess Walgreens now has a walk in clinic and there's one close to my house. So I was like, I'll just try it. Like this is such a simple task. So I took him there. I would do that to be like, let's just do the quickest option. Yeah.
00:06:58
Speaker
Yeah. And we were seen and he started like thrashing around, like didn't want this person to put the otoscope in his ear. They ended up busting his eardrum to the point where it was bleeding. And I look in it and I'm like, he's he's bleeding. And she literally threw her hands up in the air and was like, look, like I can't control him. You can't control him. Like you need to go to the E.R. where there's appropriate staff for you to
00:07:28
Speaker
get this guy under control basically and I freaking panicked because who goes in for an ear infection and is being sent to the freaking ER. Was she like rude from she was rude from the get go. Yeah and I mean like
00:07:43
Speaker
This whole point isn't like accidents happen, but like, yeah, she had really bad bedside manner. Like she, number one, made me feel like he was a bad kid when I know like just kids in general can act like that. Yeah, he was totally fine up until till that point, like was totally cooperative. And then his ears obviously hurting. So he was like, no, I don't want anyone touching it. And for her to be like basically your kids
00:08:12
Speaker
being bad and loud and I have other patients and I'm in a hurry, you need to leave. It just really bothered me. It made me feel embarrassed and also just very stressed. Now I'm having to go to the ER. I live in a big city, going to the ER is not like
00:08:33
Speaker
an easy task. Like what are my options? You'll be there for hours. I'm like Vanderbilt fricking hospital, like, or, you know, like everything around here is just busy. So I was like, Oh my God, here goes our day. Like my son's now traumatized, but luckily, um, Chris's hospital has a children's ER. So we went there and it was so quick and they were so nice and we had to like follow up with the ENT. I was like, why didn't I just,
00:09:02
Speaker
do that from the start I'm like kicking myself yeah but you shouldn't because regardless okay if you had walked into that clinic I am sure explained like what was going on you know I think he has some ear pain he's complaining about his ear
00:09:17
Speaker
If she felt like she couldn't have handled it or she didn't have the correct staff or the correct training, she should have let you know that from the beginning. She should have been like, I really think you should go see the fact that she made you feel after she tried to do whatever she was doing and then made you feel like this is your fault or is wrong.
00:09:41
Speaker
not as mad about it right now like I was pissed and obviously right now I'm kind of just like oh that was crazy but I was pissed like I wrote the most scathing emails and reviews on pages like I'm not that type of person I'm usually like a quiet mouse in the corner
00:10:00
Speaker
I'm like, well, things happen like such as life. But I like when it came to that, I freaked out. I was just mad that they she didn't like call the ER to tell me we were on the way or ask for my number or even like apologize. And yeah, sorry. Like she was basically like, get the fuck out of here. Like you're wreaking havoc on my day.
00:10:24
Speaker
So how's he doing now? He's fine. He's resilient as can be he literally fell later that day and scratches me and he complained about that more than his ear so Glad we could take that off your mind your ear so it was just so like you said traumatic and I'm just gonna be sticking to my doctors and
00:10:47
Speaker
from now on, because that was crazy. Well, I think it's interesting that you said like, you know, typically you wouldn't write like a scathing email or something. I feel like I'm the same way.
Toddler Tantrums and Parenting Approaches
00:10:56
Speaker
I necessarily wouldn't do that. But there's something about your kids. Oh, I know. Turns you there is like mama bear mode for sure, where you're like, oh, I'm going to light it up. Like this is my protective mama bear side coming out. I, I totally understand that.
00:11:16
Speaker
Well, I wrote a review on Google and they didn't have a Yelp page, so I created a Yelp page and then wrote a review. I love that so much. You are not messing around. Oh, I was like, I got to warn the people. I look for their Yelp page. I didn't have one, so I created one. Oh, my God. That is so fucking funny. I know. I was like, well, here I come.
00:11:43
Speaker
Well you're protecting other moms from doing the same thing. I was completely honest in there. I was like, if you have a child that may potentially act out in any way, don't bring them here. They don't have the staff or the bedside manner to handle it.
00:11:59
Speaker
Well, also, like, Graydon is two. And I don't care what two-year-old you have if you're trying to look in their ears or their eyes or they're gonna freak out. Like, they're not just gonna sit there and be like, okay. Like, if you do, that's, your child is one in a million. Like, that's not, that's not normal bedside behavior for a two-year-old. Yeah, I mean. Like, what Graydon did is the normal bedside behavior for a two-year-old.
00:12:29
Speaker
It was just so crazy and I hope no one else has to go through that. I've just never experienced someone rushing me out so quickly. It was sad. Well, I'm glad that he's doing better now and everything is good. Evie's coming any freaking day now. Do you think Alice is prepared?
00:12:51
Speaker
I think so honestly like she's been really cute and sweet about it all she checks and I know I've said this before but we um every day when she gets home she lifts up my shirt and she says check Evie check Evie and she gives her kisses and hugs and high fives although the high fives sometimes are
00:13:14
Speaker
Like, she smacks my belly. And I'm like, oh my god. You just reminded me that he did that to me. I'd be like, where's?
00:13:22
Speaker
Margot and you go right there. I'll pop on my belly. Yeah, she like gives her a high five, which is cute, but I'm like, damn, that hurts. But. She she's obsessed with her room right now. She wants to always go in Evie's room to share pictures of that on the inside. No, I should. I've just been waiting to hang the art, but I. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:48
Speaker
I need some more art, but if she doesn't come yet and I have all next week off, I'll be able to spend some time on that for sure. But no, I think she's good. I mean, we're definitely seeing some, I don't even know, like attention seeking behavior, I think, from Alice. If we do talk about the baby a ton, like whenever my mom, because sometimes, or the past couple weeks,
00:14:13
Speaker
I've asked my mom to work or to watch her here like while I work and then that way if I have like an hour or so in the day my mom will help me do some like nesting things. Yeah. And if we are trying to do a nesting thing and Alice is awake and we're like talking a lot about Evie she will
00:14:34
Speaker
kind of she like she tries really hard to like draw attention back to her like she brings us books she brings us toys she'll like start to whine about something and Alice overall is a very sweet even tempered like she's pretty she's a good toddler
00:14:53
Speaker
However, and this is what this episode is about, we are definitely experiencing more tantrums, more big feelings. And I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm still figuring out how to navigate them. There's so much information online about gentle parenting or how you should speak to them. And I struggle hardcore, to be honest, just because I'm like,
00:15:21
Speaker
I don't, sometimes gentle doesn't feel right if I'm being honest. Well, have you seen those TikToks where like the parent is gently like cussing at their kids? Yeah, it's like you better fucking stop. Or I'm going to kick your ass out the door into next week, my sweet devil child.
00:15:45
Speaker
I don't know. It's so funny because when they're like Margo's age, you have all the books on how to do all the things because it's pretty standard. But then when their emotions and their personalities come through, you're just kind of like, alright, guess we're free for all figuring it out. Unless it's like something specific like biting or whatever. Yeah. I find typically that the
00:16:11
Speaker
The very obvious no-no things are easier to manage, like hitting, biting, that kind of stuff. Don't get me wrong, it takes them a while to learn consequences and stuff. Alice still isn't learning consequences necessarily.
00:16:28
Speaker
for me it's more of like those strange like nuanced things like I know something we're struggling with right now is and this is definitely related to another topic that we'll have to talk about another day but um about just like sweets and family giving I Vinnie and I have said we think over 50 percent of her tantrums which goes back to our topic about
00:16:54
Speaker
sweets earlier in this episode. She has gotten since the holidays, she gets cookies and cinnamon rolls and sweets and stuff, and we feel like over 50% of her tantrums revolve around her wanting sweets.
00:17:13
Speaker
Ours is TV. It's hard. It's hard to navigate. It's hard to set the boundary because I feel sometimes like toddlers are the most persistent. Like they will cry for and scream for 30 minutes if you let them. And it's so hard not to just be like, fine, eat the eat the damn cookie, like eat the cookie.
00:17:36
Speaker
You know, yeah, he he's gotten to the point where he'll wake up and ask for it But I'm like fine telling him no and I'm fine letting him like whine and cry about it. Honestly, I'm just like yeah
00:17:48
Speaker
No, you don't need it. And I feel like the TV has been a bit of a crutch since having Margo, like a distraction. Like if I'm a home alone and I'm having to put both kids to bed, I'll leave him downstairs to watch TV while I put her down. Like, and the TV is the babysitter. So it's like little things like that. I think he's gotten used to over the past five months and now he's like really loving the TV.
00:18:13
Speaker
So I'm like, well, I created this monster. But I I at the same point think it's easy to take away. Like there's days we don't turn it on at all. And there's but he'll still ask for it. I think he's just he's thinks about it a lot. He likes the TV. Yeah. Well, that's I mean, it's the same thing with us. It's not for us. It's not the TV. It's sweets like she'll wake up and I'll ask her what she wants for breakfast and she'll say donuts. And I'm like, girl, we're not having donuts every day. Yeah. OK.
00:18:44
Speaker
But she asked for it, and I do find it easy to say no. I think what's hard is when she knows sweets are around. For example, if she makes cookies with my mother-in-law, which they do pretty much every time they're together, and then she brings home a bag of cookies, their memory is so, her memory is insane.
00:19:10
Speaker
If I put something somewhere, two weeks later, she'll be like, I know you put a bag of cookies right there. I remember. And so I think that's the part that's hard is like, if we just don't have it and I'm like flat out no, but if she knows that they're there, like, I threw it away.
00:19:30
Speaker
Yeah, we can't keep sweets in this house, which will be good for my postpartum diet. Have you seen the like, are people talk about what's something funny like your toddler cried over today or whatever? Like, I almost wanted to keep a tally last weekend because like things were happening that were so funny. And I was just like,
00:19:52
Speaker
Graydon, this is ridiculous. It's good to the point where it's like, get over it. Yesterday I was driving home and he said, he was like, Graydon's so funny. And I thought he said that I was being funny. And I was like, oh, you think mommy's funny? He was like, no, Graydon's funny and started crying. And I was just like,
00:20:13
Speaker
I'm sorry, like are you? Cause this isn't funny. Sometimes the toddler, like their reactions to things, I'm like, you're a psycho. Like I think it in my head. I'm like, you're crazy. So Alice is really into makeup right now.
Lip Smacker Obsession and More Tantrums
00:20:31
Speaker
Um, like pretend makeup, really. Um, I got her favorite gift she got for Christmas is this little,
00:20:38
Speaker
I should go grab it because it's actually so cute. And it has like pretend makeup in it, but it looks pretty real. Like it's, it looks real, but when you open it up and like feel it, it's like. Actually, I think my friend got it for her daughter and I got to see it on New Year's. It's legit. Yeah. And she's obsessed and I love it because when I do my makeup, she's not trying to like steal my things because she loves to watch me do my makeup. She is definitely my child. Super into makeup. Yeah.
00:21:08
Speaker
But my mom or I think it was my mom got her a set of those like Disney princess lip smackers, like old school kind of. Yeah. Which she calls lipsticks or lip glosses, even though they're just like chapsticks. Yeah.
00:21:24
Speaker
this girl is obsessed with these Lip Smacker Chapsticks. In fact, today, this whole, my whole morning was a disaster because she wanted her lip glosses and I gave her the bag. And so she just, like Whitney, I'm not kidding, for hours, she'll sit there and she'll open one up and she'll put it all over her face and then close it and put it back and pull another one out. I mean, I look at her and she has Chapstick like all over her face and neck.
00:21:50
Speaker
And she's like semi eating it because like she's not putting it in her mouth and eating it but she's putting it all over her lips and then I'll look over her and she's like that she's like this like licking it off her face.
00:22:04
Speaker
And I'm like, and then if I take them, she's freaks out, freaks the hell out. And it's one of those things that's like she's not tech. And I think this is what I struggle with the most when it comes to the tantrums is like she clearly likes those things. They're not like harmful necessarily. Like I don't there's a fine line between like.
00:22:28
Speaker
letting him do it. You know what I mean? I love that she loves makeup and putting on that chapstick and she's not really doing anything wrong, but is she too obsessed with it? Is it bad if she plays with that for hours? It's just a mess. Oh, well, I get what you mean because there's stuff that Graydon has that he'll pick out the toy and I'm like, not that one. Dang it. I almost want to hide it.
00:22:58
Speaker
so that he doesn't play with like a specific something because it's either messy or whatever. But like, yeah, if Margot was just like straight up lathering herself in Chapstick, I'd probably be like, all right, we're going to have to hide the right.
00:23:14
Speaker
So this morning I took them from her for the car ride because my mom is who sent them home with her yesterday because she freaked out about wanting to take them home to show mommy and daddy because they were, it was my mom who gave it to her. So she came home with the bag of chapsticks. She was, we were playing in the backyard with the chapsticks. I finally took them from her because she was like trying to put them on the dog. It was like a whole thing. And
00:23:41
Speaker
She freaked out like temper tantrum of the century, throwing herself on the floor, like all this stuff when I took them. And then this morning, the first thing I walk in her room, she's standing in her crib and she says, lipsticks, lipsticks. And I was like, oh my God, like you don't forget anything.
00:24:00
Speaker
So I got her dressed. I give her the lipsticks. I'm not going to leave them with her in the car because then it's going to be everywhere. So I took them when we got in the car and I texted my mom and I said, by the way, that bag of chapsticks cannot come home with her tonight. Like it's got to stay at your house. It's too much. But it's like I struggle because I don't want to like dampen their like likes or their like passions or
00:24:30
Speaker
It's OK to feel a certain way about a certain thing. I mean, yeah, she played with it. That's how great it is with his monster truck. He sleeps with them now. Like the clunky big ass monster truck. Oh, wouldn't that hurt if you like.
00:24:45
Speaker
lays on it? No telling. I mean, I'll put him to bed and he's just in there playing with them, just like driving them around. I don't know. It's just they're so weird. Oh, he's cute. He's a boy's boy. Yeah. So has Alice ever had a tantrum in public? We've had a bad one, one in public, and I wanted to like shrivel up and run away.
00:25:10
Speaker
I'm going to sound like really, I don't think we have. Vinny and I are not at that age yet, though. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Alice is only 22 months. So I know it's coming for us. But we always say Alice is better in public than her worst behavior is at home. Yeah. And it's she is like an angel around about she's like, hello, good morning. Nice to meet you. Like she talks to everyone and is so sweet.
00:25:37
Speaker
I feel like she's way worse at home. We were at the lake. It was the summers before he turned two and him and Beckett, his cousin, were built like digging a hole in the sand and we were leaving Party Cove. We were leaving to go back. I love Party Cove. I know it's not the same now, but we were leaving.
00:26:00
Speaker
Um, cause it was nap time. So it was like, we were like on the cusp and he was already tired, but he was having like the time of his life and we had to pry him away from playing in the sand and he screamed and cried and like, there's tons of boats here. Everyone was looking at us because he was just thrashing around.
00:26:22
Speaker
And I was just like, Oh my God. He had never acted like that before. Like, especially in public. And I just started crying, like quietly crying on the boat while like my mom and sister like kind of helped him. I was like, wow, I'm like, I can't even like parent right now. I was so upset that he did that in front of people. I was like,
00:26:45
Speaker
I don't know this kid. It was so shocking. That's not my baby. I was like, oh my god. But I do know he was tired, and he was having so much fun, and we pulled him away from that. But he hasn't done anything like that since. Yeah.
00:27:04
Speaker
Uh, it was hard for that to be like a public thing. The public thing is, is hard. I think it's also, at least this is how I feel. Not only are you aware of what your child is doing, you're also, I'm always hyper aware of how I'm reacting and how I'm speaking. And I'm worried about, I want to freak out, but I'm, I'm like hyper aware of other people watching me handle the situation. I'm a gentle parent.
00:27:34
Speaker
Yeah, you're like, it's okay. Calm down, my darling. It just adds a whole other layer. I truly think the way I would handle things in public would be totally different from how I handle things at home, which I'm sure every parenting expert would be like, you shouldn't do that. You need to be consistent.
00:27:55
Speaker
Um, and I think it probably isn't our goals here to have some sort of like parenting expert on or like behavior expert on the show at some point to get, especially as we really get knee deep in the twos and the temper tantrum stages of toddler hood. I know someone did a poll yesterday and it was like, what's the worst age?
Public vs Private Parenting Dilemmas
00:28:21
Speaker
And it was like two, three or four.
00:28:23
Speaker
And I clicked two just being like, two. And the worst was three and four. And I was like, gosh, dang it. Why? I've heard from multiple people that four is really bad.
00:28:36
Speaker
I was like, that's like in two years, man. I'm going to have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Same. What were we thinking? No one tells you that two under two ends up being four and two. A newborn and two. Is it supposed to get easier? That's funny. Oh, God.
00:29:02
Speaker
I don't know. I think it's hard to constantly be consuming like parenting content from Instagram and TikTok. I don't know about you. That is so much of my algorithm. Like, here's how you should react if your child is biting. Yeah. And it's like I watch this video and I'm like, OK, I can do that. Like, yes, got it. Noted. Yeah. And then my child bites me and I'm like,
00:29:27
Speaker
it all disappeared like I don't for sure that video I saw of how I should react it's gone I don't know it's shocking you're like what yeah is going through your head that you think that that's normal like you're just like where did you learn that number one and number two like don't ever do that again you're just like I'm probably never saying the right things but
00:29:49
Speaker
I mean, my mom has said like so many times with us growing up, like she was like, I probably never said the right things and like, but like I turned out okay. And like, I am a good, my mom is so sweet. Like I turned out okay. My brothers and I turned out okay. Rob and I fought like crazy when we were little. Like, I don't even know how they handled it. We fought like,
00:30:15
Speaker
really bad. I wonder why you didn't fight with your other brother. He's just so he's so quiet and docile. He doesn't care. He never engaged. Yeah. He's like, I'm not fighting with you. Rob, on the other hand, was like, let's go. Did you like want the same toys or what? Or was it just when you're older too?
00:30:39
Speaker
No, I feel like it went away after I went in. Like definitely when we lived in the same house, like through high school, we fought a lot and it was just, I don't know. Rob and I are similar in some ways. I don't know. My brother and sister fought a lot because they were closer and then I never fought with them.
00:30:57
Speaker
I mean, about what? I don't know. I would have been, but yeah. Well, it'll be interesting to see how our kids, especially me with sisters, like raising sisters that are so close in age, you know, they're going to fight over clothes and shoes and makeup. I mean, if you try and touch Alice's Smackers lip gloss, you're about to get drop kicked. I know. I'm already dealing with that.
00:31:20
Speaker
I feel like Graydon's either gonna be like pretty sweet or just like literally hit her, you know? Yeah, one or the other. Like he's gonna be like pretty aggressive as a boy or he's gonna be like really loving. I don't know which direction that's gonna go but
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah we'll see. I will say I think moving forward as we like enter twos I do have a want to like read some more like parenting books or just educate myself more.
Seeking Parenting Guidance and Experts
00:31:51
Speaker
At this point Alice is typically pretty good so it just hasn't been like a top priority for me at this point to like
00:32:00
Speaker
Like, don't get me wrong, we have some tough days, days where I'm like, when I'm putting her to bed, I'm like, thank God I'm putting you to bed right now. But overall, she's been pretty good. And, but I know that there will be times in the future, especially as she like starts to go to school and other things. Like, I want to make sure I'm handling situations in the best way possible and like how to reinforce good behavior. So,
00:32:29
Speaker
If you are listening and have any like parenting book reps or parenting podcast reps, or maybe there's a person that we should have on the show, let us know. We would love to hear. I mean, obviously I would love like Dr. Becky, you know, from Good Inside. Do you know her? Oh, and then Dr. Eliza, I'm blanking on her last name, but I think she wrote the book Raising Good Humans, I think. Oh, I've heard of that book.
00:32:58
Speaker
Yeah so I don't I mean those are like dream guests but I would love to learn a little bit more about how to handle things and maybe be more consistent about how I handle things because like I said sometimes I feel like the way I handle something outside of our house and the way I handle I mean not that I'm like
00:33:17
Speaker
screaming inside this house or whatever. I just, you know what I mean? Sometimes the way I handle things out there is different than what I would do in here. I feel like we've now started to introduce consequences because there's things that he loves like his lovey or passy or TV. And we'll now say like, like this morning, he asked me
00:33:41
Speaker
can we watch Blaze, which is a monster truck show on YouTube, and Margo gets very, very distracted, and they both wake up at the same time. So I was like, Graydon, after I feed Margo, we'll turn on Blaze, because if I turn it on, she's going to whip around and not eat.
00:33:57
Speaker
He gets mad that I say, no, takes his lovey, whacks me with it. And I said, Graydon, we're not watching TV this morning at all now. And then he really got mad. And I was like, you hit mommy. So then we didn't watch TV all morning and he ended up acting better. Number one, because we didn't fricking watch TV at all, but he got over it. So it's like.
00:34:21
Speaker
I'm just holding him accountable. And then sometimes if he acts pretty bad, I'll be like, you're not going to get lovey or passy for bedtime if you keep doing this. And then he really straightens up because that's like his way. Okay. So that's it. That's good to know. So he's like understanding consequences because I feel like Alice doesn't. I tried, I've tried that a couple of times and I feel like she doesn't understand.
00:34:47
Speaker
Yeah you gotta find her reward system and like what drives her to do things because yeah I was just straight up like we're not watching TV at all anymore sorry like Alice is very very very into books right now she'll negotiate with me at night before that time I'll say we can read one book or two books and she'll come to me and she'll say
00:35:11
Speaker
Two bucks, three bucks. Like, she'll up the number. And I'm like, two bucks. You get two bucks. And then she'll go and get three and bring them back. And she looks at me and I'm like. I mean, three books. Yeah. Yeah. You create noise. Well, we'll finish it. Go be like one more. I'm like, one more. Yeah, I know. Which is so cute. I don't mind bedtime. Like, I know. Same. Especially with him. Like, because I'll put her to bed. Like, Chris and I switch off every night.
00:35:40
Speaker
And I'll put her to bed and sometimes when I'm done, I'll come downstairs and it'll be Chris's turn to put Graydon down, but Graydon will ask for me. And he just feels so big in my arms. I'm like, of course I'll rock him. It's going to make me cry. Because he's just so big. And I'm like, this time might be fleeting that he'll let me hold him like that. So. Oh, God, Whit. You're going to make me cry. I'm in a fragile state right now. Well, that's a good thing. Every day. Yeah.
00:36:07
Speaker
Go ahead. Every day I wake up and think, is today my last day with just Alice? Go make me cry. I know. It's a sad thought, but your heart just grows. It's so amazing how it happened. I know. I just cannot imagine not being a family of four, having them both, and they love each other so much. Your heart just grows. It's crazy. Yeah. I'm excited. And don't you worry, Graydon still gets
00:36:34
Speaker
all of our attention. Poor Margo. God, I'm like, you can't you can't forget because he's all up in our faces about everything. And then Margo is just so chill and like Margo seems like the happiest.
00:36:50
Speaker
Chillest baby. Her little round face. I want to squeeze her. Chris and I were talking today. We're like, we're so lucky. Like she is such a light in our lives. Like she just wakes up so happy. You forget that they're like this when they're little. She wakes up so happy. She's just happy to be around, happy to see great. And you're just like, God, it's so nice that you're so sweet. Like could eat her up.
00:37:16
Speaker
Oh my God, is she home right now? Go get her. Of course she's here. She's always kicking around, hanging out, teleport there and squeeze her. I guess we should come visit you. Please do. I'll give you like a month or two. This is going to be an ongoing conversation. Today was just kind of like a
00:37:39
Speaker
I think next time we should try, maybe we'll read a parenting book together or something and then talk about it or maybe get some, get an expert or something like that because we're just really entering. I know Alice isn't even too yet. Great intern too in October.
00:38:01
Speaker
We're just entering the thick of it. And I know we're going to have even more to say and even more to talk about as it continues, like, and everything as the baby enters the world, like how she react after a while, like,
00:38:16
Speaker
I'm sure she'll be fine, but it does, they do start getting all wonky. Like I never had a rock grading to sleep before and now I do. Cause he wants one-on-one time with each of us. Well, I wish you a day of no tantrums and Alice better not come home with her chopsticks. I can tell you that.
00:38:37
Speaker
And I love you. I bid you adieu. I love you. Okay. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.