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EP 150: Due Date Groups
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This week, we're diving deep into one of the most unexpected and meaningful parts of modern motherhood: due date groups.
Whether you found yours on Facebook, Reddit, BabyCenter, or somewhere else entirely, there's something magical about navigating pregnancy, newborn life, toddlerhood, and beyond alongside thousands of moms who are in the exact same season as you.
In this episode, we're sharing how due date groups have shaped our motherhood journeys, the friendships we've made, the support we've received during some of the hardest moments, and why these communities can feel like a true village in a world where so many moms feel isolated.
Of course, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. We also talk about the challenges that can come with these groups, including comparison, differing parenting opinions, and navigating relationships online.
If you've ever wondered whether joining a due date group is worth it, or if you've found yourself leaning on yours more than you ever expected, this conversation is for you.
In this episode, we discuss:
• What a due date group actually is and where to find one
• Why being surrounded by moms in the exact same season is so powerful
• The friendships and support systems that have come from our groups
• How due date groups evolve from pregnancy through the preschool years
• The challenges of comparison and differing parenting styles
• Why these communities have made motherhood feel less lonely
• Our favorite memories and biggest takeaways from being part of these groups
As always, thanks for hanging out with us this week. If you're part of a due date group, we'd love to hear about your experience!
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
📸 Instagram: @momgroupchat
🎵 TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
there's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. we're going to get into it What up,
Introduction of Mom Group Chat Podcast
00:00:15
Speaker
moms? I'm Whitney Williams, and I'm here with my best friend, Candice, and this is the Mom Group Chat Podcast.
00:00:21
Speaker
What up? We're giving black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow. I know, and I have black, or I guess my leggings are gray, but when I put this on, I was like, I'm giving, it's giving theta. it's giving.
00:00:34
Speaker
Oh God, fly your kite. It's giving that like the back of this would be engraved or like embroidered with K-A-T-E. K.A.T.
00:00:47
Speaker
I love yellow, you know, and one of my favorite colors to wear. um
Body Image and Comfort in Skin
00:00:52
Speaker
Butter yellow is so in. i know. In fact, I got the cutest sports bra recently that's butter yellow and I wore it last week and I got so many. It was like a day when I was out and about with my kids and I got you were just wearing a sports bra.
00:01:08
Speaker
And like a linen shirt over. Yeah. Like an open. Florida, I swear to God, is built different. Like every time I'm down there, there's no one's wearing clothes. I know. I wonder if that's like part of my makeup of like why I'm so comfortable naked, you know?
00:01:25
Speaker
Because everyone's just straight up naked. Like, it's just, ah I grew up here and like, we don't wear clothes. So I'm just like used to it. It's like, you know that, have you heard like the discourse around like if you had a naked mom or not?
00:01:41
Speaker
No. Really? This is like kind of all over my algorithm. Of like people either grew up with a naked mom or an anti-naked mom. And not like here that I swear ah to God. I 100% there's someone else on listening to this who is also on the side of TikTok. I think it's just you.
00:02:02
Speaker
Okay. Well, the theory is that if you grew up with a naked mom, someone that was like naked and front a lot in front of you, that like naked bodies just are like, it's less like shocking. You just are like, oh, it's a body. And like it, I don't know, maybe there's studies on this. i can't remember exactly. so I'm probably butchering it, but like, I think it's that women who grew up with naked moms,
00:02:25
Speaker
have better like body image because they saw their mom like through so all different phases. Grammy be naked. Yeah, i I would say like I grew up in like a naked-ish house. Yeah.
00:02:41
Speaker
Well, like it is interesting because when you go down there and you go to like Hyde Park, which is like a little shopping area, like you watch all the girls walking around literally in sports bras and, I don't know, like biking biker shorts. And you're just like, oh my god, literally no one's wearing clothes around here. Yeah. It's just so hot. So yeah, it is so hot. It's so funny that you say that because literally last week I wore a big giant t-shirt out to school drop-off and I felt so uncomfortable the whole time. Like I felt like I looked like a slob. I felt sloppy. And I'm not saying that anyone that wears a big t-shirt, it was just like, I think the culture here is like, like I, I think it's trained me to feel, I feel more confident in tighter,
00:03:31
Speaker
less clothes. I don't know. and my God. And I'm such a baggy bag woman. Like the bigger, the better. Like when you go to, okay. When you're like out shopping, I don't know what the equivalent to Hyde Park is. Like what are women wearing?
00:03:50
Speaker
Okay, so I'm going to say I'm i'm in 12 South. It is so touristy here. Everyone's in fucking cowboy boots and like denim. Oh, interesting. Everyone's wearing denim, which is cute, but like...
00:04:04
Speaker
I don't know. I just think of all the bachelorettes. People are like dressed the fuck up. Like everyone's looking cute. Everyone's trying to get a Instagram photo. Like they're there to take pics.
00:04:15
Speaker
Interesting. It's a touristy place. I feel like Florida leans like workout-y now that I think about it. like They do. Everyone's healthy and like outside. but like and it's funny. It's not like we're not talking like hike outside. We're not talking like outdoorsy. We're talking like Pilates curls.
00:04:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. yeah Interesting. Wow. Yeah. I'd say people are like really dressed up and dolled up and have their hair curled, but like me rolling up, mm-mm.
00:04:50
Speaker
I threw on something. i'm i'm in sandals and a like summer dress. Okay. Okay. Hmm. It's so interesting. Culture's so interesting.
00:05:04
Speaker
I wonder if like they would allow me in their business if I came in in a sports bra. You think you'd be turned away? i don't, I mean, I, I don't know. Like I deem it inappropriate here. Okay. Well now I have to come and I'm going to wear a sports bra and biker shorts and we're going to test the theory.
00:05:23
Speaker
okay Yeah, let's do it.
00:05:28
Speaker
that's funny. Wow. Well, Whitney has one foot out the door today because she's headed. i amm Actually, you're coming to the land of the Pilates girls tomorrow. and Should I just all just wear like sports bras? And yeah, I'm going on a girls trip this week. I'm pumped. Due date trip. Due date girls trip.
The Impact of Due Date Groups
00:05:53
Speaker
Which is so thrilling. It's the girls I talk to every single day, all damn day. And we only get together here and there because everybody be popping our babies. And so it's like, okay, we finally have like this small break where no one's pregnant. So we're like, we got to go. yeah We're going.
00:06:12
Speaker
I feel like your your group is like a little bit behind mine just because I joined mine with um, Alice. so everyone's already popped out their second kid for the most part. And really it's like, if I'm thinking about a third kid, like I'm the minority, everyone is either lot of them are like, okay, we're done. We have two for me to have a third. I'm, I'm holding the group back from growth, you know, growth within the group. Not the family unit. I meant like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Within the do-day group, I'm holding them back from us going to Europe together. You know what I mean? Well, that's what's happening now. They'd go without me, let's be real.
00:06:51
Speaker
That's what's happening now is everyone's had to and everyone... there's two of them have already had three. and then the others are talking about having their third.
00:07:03
Speaker
And I literally the other day I said, wait, there's going to be more. Like I thought, i don't know. i'm am I the only one that's like in the headspace of just like, I'm done. You're not the only one. I was shocked. I was like, oh my god there's more coming.
00:07:18
Speaker
There's more. I forgot. I know. i know. um You would fit in well with my duty to group. I feel like a lot of them are two and done. And, ah but I don't know. We've had some, some of them have had, let's see.
00:07:33
Speaker
Some of them have had thirds. We also like, we always, ah Christina Picasso, if you're listening to this, um she was like, we, she's our goals, mom. She joined,
00:07:46
Speaker
our due date group with her last, her fourth. Oh, wow. And she had already had twin boys, a boy, and then – or sorry, maybe opposite. A boy, twin boys, and then her last was her girl. She had a girl. And um she's just like our resource for everything, you know? She's like – she knows all. She is a motherfucking superhero. Christina, if you're listening to this, every time i am with multiple kids, I'm like – The fact that she like does it is insane. She's a boss ass bitch. So she's the motherfucking star boy. Yeah. No, literally. um Yeah. I feel like how do you you're like friends at home.
00:08:28
Speaker
Mine are all having three. I'm like the minority. We are opposite in the sense that most of our like close friends haven't even had kids yet.
00:08:42
Speaker
How other than like our like, you know, the Hannah Wargo, like they have two girls. We hang out with them constantly. But like our group of friends that like the the people we do friends giving with. OK, I guess there are some kids. Mary and Robbie have had they just they literally just had their second last week. But other than that, like we're the only two with kids. A lot of them like haven't had kids yet, which is actually kind of crazy. I think it's because that group, a lot of them are a year younger than us.
00:09:14
Speaker
So they're a year behind high school friends. Yeah. But they, most of the boys were a year younger than Vinny in high school because they all hung out together. i don't know. Oh,
00:09:27
Speaker
Yeah. What about zac that okay Zach? Zach has three. They had a girl and then twin boys. So they, so yes, they are in line with us, but I don't know. I feel like I, my friends are all over the place now that I'm thinking about it. We like, but the core group of the people we have like friends giving and stuff with, those are like a lot of them are just, I guess Maddie's pregnant now. So we're there. They're catching up They're coming. catching up They're coming.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah, I guess everyone that I've made friends with because I moved somewhere where I had to like start over basically. Yeah. I just like really clung to the people that have kids my age. So we all like have kids the same age. Like Graydon's friends are all the same age. Margo's friends are all the same age. Like we all just like did it together basically. They all go to daycare together. We're like honestly sick. Like we all just feed off of each other and hang out all the time. It's incestuous. Yeah, literally.
00:10:26
Speaker
um So, but it's just like they play so well together when you find your group. But yeah, most of them are having their third. Interesting. Yeah. i I don't know. we're worse Vinny and I were a little like head of the curve, I think. So we're going to start the third train probably. Which isn't that so funny because I felt like I was older having my first, like being 30 and having grade. And I was like, I waited forever is what I thought.
00:10:58
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. don't know. It's exciting. i love i I'm excited for all of our friends that are like getting newly pregnant and like starting to have babies. and like, thank God. real It's such a my girls need some people to play with at these things, you know?
00:11:16
Speaker
That's so true. Yeah. It's a thrill. um And speaking of like me being done and I just like want to give an update that Margo is like fully potty trained now. And I'm so excited. What? That happened overnight. What you mean? It really did. Well, I mean, it's been a, I guess,
00:11:34
Speaker
kind of to me it's been a slowish burn it was like literally when we got back from the beach at the end of april she just decided i'm gonna start going on the potty like and you know she switched to that um potty training class that she's in at school so they really push the go the bathroom like send them to school in underwear so we did and the poop took a minute so it always does it did And now we are June and she finally got the hang of it. And i just like realized today, i'm like, wow, I haven't smelled shit in my house in like two weeks. This is amazing.
00:12:13
Speaker
What's that like? well I literally thought today, wow, I don't smell poop in a trash can. This is crazy talk.
00:12:24
Speaker
Like that was like... um An aha moment of, wow, we've made it. That's so nice. Yeah. Let me tell you. i First of all, congratulations. You are pretty much done with diapers.
00:12:41
Speaker
Yeah, just at night. At night, yeah. and But that's like 90% of the way there. you know She's like light years ahead of Graydon. She like won't pee in her diaper overnight. Graydon he is hit or miss dude like he is still can't get a hang of it and Margo's just like not she's like holding it I'm like god why you have figured this out already They're like, get it together, girl. Oh my God, my kids are so different. But um yeah, I'm really excited. The one thing that worked with poop because she was like avoiding, my friend Morgan has a daughter her age and she has just the one daughter and she gave me all this like wisdom and I was like, wow, thank God for you. But it was like buying a treasure box and like buying stuff from Dollar General and just letting her look at it and be like, if you poop, you get to pick something out of here.
00:13:37
Speaker
It worked within two days. i was like, you're a genius. Wow. Honestly, i when you, cause you messaged me that obviously like between us and I was like, I think I just need to do that for behavior. We have a star jar, but the star jar has lost its luminance. I think it's, it's like it worked for a while and now they're just like, like, I'll be like, you weren't a star. And Alice will look me dead in the face and be like, I don't care. Yeah.
00:14:07
Speaker
I'm like, okay, time to move on to something else, I think. and Now we got a little treasure box. would be Yeah. From literally Dollar General, I put bubbles in there. i put like, yeah there was like water play stuff in there. It was cheap. There was like a wand to be a princess. I was like, whatever.
00:14:22
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, good to know. I'm going to have to do that. i ah I'm staring at it right now. I have all of the stuff to potty train Evie. I was like ready. I ordered new princess undies. I ordered a new toilet seat, all this stuff. And I mentioned it to Hannah, my friend, Hannah. i was like, Oh, I think I might start. And she was like before Lake Tahoe. And I was like, Oh, I'm such an idiot. No, I'm not going to newly potty train her when we leave in two weeks. So I was like, okay. When we get the break yeah when we get back, we'll hit it. But I, the thought of being on a plane or in an airport or like stuck in security and having to, I was like, I'm an idiot. Why the didn't I think of that?
00:15:05
Speaker
The princess underwear gives me PTSD because she was pooping in them because that was like the first set and I was just throwing them away. i was like, I can't do this. like Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:18
Speaker
So now we have a whole new, whole new pack and we're going strong and I'm, I'm a alive. That's amazing. Proud of you. Proud of Margo. That's a big step.
00:15:30
Speaker
It is. as ah I'm so happy. Yeah. Well, today's episode we thought about for a while because I feel like this is our most asked question in the DMS. And whenever we do a question box or a Q and a episode, we always get asked about due date groups.
00:15:51
Speaker
Where did we find them? How did we find them? Uh, How do we know if it's like our people? What do we think about due date groups? Should we should I join a due date group? Blah, blah, blah. And we haven't done a full deep dive episode about due date groups. And today is that day because Whitney's headed out on her due date group trip. So it's very timely. And yeah, I'm excited.
00:16:17
Speaker
me too, because Candice fully convinced me to join one. i wasn't in one with Graydon and I saw how much Candice loved her new day group with Alice that I was like, I'm going to do this. Like, how do I do this? Like, I love making friends and it just made the experience like, I don't know, 10 times richer having friends.
00:16:42
Speaker
Having a group of women going through the exact same thing as you within like within one month of having like their kid, even like days with of having your child, it is so nice to be in the trenches with somebody else and yeah talk through it. like It made my experience 10 times better.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, that's literally in my notes for this episode. I literally wrote like it fundamentally changed my motherhood experience to be in this due date group like. the fact that you are going through the exact same things. And like, did I have friends that were moms before them? Obviously I did, but there is something different about you being in like the exact timeline as other people. You feel much more like,
00:17:36
Speaker
open to ask questions and to like, I think, and one of the things I wrote down was that it was just such a good, like gut check place for me to be able to go to this group of women who like are also in this dealing with the same things and be like, Oh, I'm feeling like I should do this or I'm feeling like she needs this or blah, blah, blah. And it's like just such a good place. I feel like if I were to ask as many questions to like my mom, friends that were years ahead of me or, Even just months ahead of me, like i think about Graydon and Alice, they're six months apart. And of course, we were always texting in our group chat with me and Shannon. But even like when you're six months out from like a day old newborn and I would ask questions, you would be like, i don't fucking know, dude. Like I don't remember. i think I blacked out.
00:18:26
Speaker
Like you, yeah there is something about... being in that same time, like, like no question is stupid. And also the sentiment is still there. Like I, I'm so far gone from like having that newborn. Like I can't like, i can empathize, but I'm like, I'm not in that same like mindset of like really trying to breastfeed and remembering how important that felt. Like I'm just removed yeah from that. And so like, if someone asked me that right now, I'd be like,
00:18:57
Speaker
i don't remember. Like, I'm just not yeah in that headspace. I'm like over here worrying about her not shitting her pants. You know what i mean? Like I'm just like in a different world. So here's to say we just highly recommend and we're going to tell you like how to find it, where to go, all the things and how to like mesh with your group basically. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:22
Speaker
I cannot recommend it enough. Like it, like I said, it changed my motherhood experience and it's crazy. I was just texting with my group before this episode, like letting them know I was going to do it and I wanted to hear their thoughts and you know, all of that. And We're coming up on our five year anniversary. Like found out I was done.
00:19:42
Speaker
You're probably there. No, I, I found that I was pregnant with Alice on July 22nd. So we're coming up on it. Like July 22nd, it'll be five years of me finding out I'm pregnant. And I joined, it was like soon after that, like we were all only like a month in when we joined, I think. Yeah. so I joined in like May of 2023. Yeah.
00:20:03
Speaker
So we're at three years already. Yeah. I already sent to the group when I realized that this morning, I was like, do we go to Europe for our five-year anniversary? go to Mexico? so you are going to be the one to hold them back.
00:20:15
Speaker
I'm going to be like, you guys can't do that without me. Well, no, we had, ah Courtney, one of our, like, I don't want to say main girls. We're all the main girls, but you know what i mean Like, she's like a pillar of our group. She is known known as the trip planner. Okay. She she's the girl who gets the, the, the trip out of the group, you know? Um, and she's moving to Germany with her husband and her two boys.
00:20:40
Speaker
So we've joe like we've been talking for a while how we have to go to Germany to see Courtney and we would bring the husbands and we'd all get the husbands together and like whatever. So for our five year, I'm trying to get all of us to go to Germany.
00:20:53
Speaker
Wow. That sounds like really fun. Y'all should go for Oktoberfest. I know. Like how fun does that sound? Can you make it like turn around that quick? um Trips with Rob. Can you please plan our trip? Yeah, exactly. I'm just going to hit up, hit up trips with Rob and he's going to get us all booked for Germany.
00:21:10
Speaker
um But okay, let's start for like super basics here. Where did we find them? How do we find them? Blah, bla blah, blah.
00:21:21
Speaker
Do you want to start? Because you're the one that like told me what to do, bro. Yeah, yeah, So inside of the, okay, there is a Facebook group called Baking Little Babes. It is gigantic. I was going to pull it up to see like how many members. It has like 30,000 members. And really, that is like, a subset from anyone that listens to the toast on yes a regular irregular like I'm not an everyday toast listener if you guys don't know what that that is it's like a pop culture everyday podcast and so they had the toast but then they broke off to baking little babes where it's just like you already know you have that in common where you're just a girly swirly that likes pop culture and you're having a baby. So then you join yeah this group.
00:22:14
Speaker
Yeah. And it has 13,000 members in it. um And it is for all things like pregnancy. And
Finding Support Through Facebook Groups
00:22:23
Speaker
I remember seeing in there, like I joined that group immediately when I found out I was pregnant because I've was so excited. And then I remember seeing in there and you'll see them like regularly, like, Oh, I just found out I'm pregnant or someone will be like, is there a is there already a group chat for girls do in March or whatever? um and that's pretty much where I found it. I found that group.
00:22:47
Speaker
We did start as like a super large, like very large group. And then we end up splitting into two groups because it was just so large. Um,
00:22:59
Speaker
And I think like a group with 200 members is just like, it's too much, too overwhelming. um So, but yeah, that's where i found it. Baking little babes. I'm sure there are other places like to find groups, but that's just, I think a safe bet.
00:23:15
Speaker
Well, yeah, Baking Little Babes is really good about um every single month that someone will be like, hey, I'm due in October 2026. Hey, I'm due in November 2026. Let's start a text or a group. like This literally like changed the trajectory of like things that I i do. like we We had to like download a whole new app to be able to like talk about And then we had to like categorize topics because if you're just in a massive group text and your phone's blowing up all day, you will like... You get lost in the sauce. You will. And you will lose the conversation. Like we had to like build out a group chat basically. Structure. Yeah. And it had like...
00:24:01
Speaker
Husbands was a topic like baby sleeping was a topic. Food was a topic. And so then like it would light up when people were like asking questions within the subgroups and it made it like much more organized and you could keep up with like what everyone was saying, especially if your group is big, like mine started out pretty large as well. And it dwindled down like some people go a little more inactive or um you just get busy. Like, I remember joining, like I said, in May, I had Margo in August and it was kind of a slow roll, like a slow burn, like,
00:24:37
Speaker
we all were like talking about pregnancy here and there and excited. And what are we naming them? Like, that's like all so fun, like sharing all that and sharing about yourself. And then once you start like, Oh my God, I just, I know like when you start having the babies, like ah that was my favorite when it was like blowing up every single day in August, someone was having a baby and um,
00:25:02
Speaker
You get to like see the pictures and it was just like such a freaking rush. Like I don't think I've ever had like a higher high than when that was happening every day. And um then you really get tight with those girls because like I said, you are in the trenches. You are asking if them waking up every 30 minutes is normal, is reflux normal. Like you are like asking everything.
00:25:28
Speaker
Yep. And it's crazy also because those groups really start to act as like a living resource. Like there were things that I would search like as I was going through them. Like I know we've talked about this before. like what ah Like what bowl did they recommend for solids? i don't know. That's just like an example. But it's I think that's one of the most – special parts of it is like it really does become a living resource for you and it's like a group of like trusted people it's real people it's not like an influencer i mean you know we have influencers we love okay but it's not like a pushed product it's like no these are real moms who are using things that are recommending things to one another and they've actually used it and they loved it that sort of thing or like what sunscreen are we using on our babies or Like whatever. i love that part of it. Um, one thing I also think is interesting is I don't know if it's just because it's like people on the internet or like people we hadn't met in person. I almost felt like it was easier to share some things than like sharing with, so like if I were to meet up with a group of women in real life, like,
00:26:44
Speaker
We're not going to jump to my nipples are bleeding. You know what I mean? Whereas like, I feel like that group, like things just flew out of us. Like in this, like information was flying. Like, I feel like I got to know these women so deeply and so quickly.
00:27:01
Speaker
And because they're like, yeah. And like, there are things I know about the girls in my do-day group that like, yeah, even my closest friends like don't quite know or you know what i mean yeah so i think that's like really cool and interesting that like the what's the word anonymity that's yeah well the keepers of your secret are like scattered across the us and yeah um yeah yeah yeah for sure Oh, man. it's It's just so special. i think that it's that there's also something to be said about like just clicking and non-clicking. I think that there is like a hint of magic in it and or like an X-factor type thing of like, I think that there is just like...
00:27:52
Speaker
Like I think that this group I joined just magically happened to be the perfect group for me. We are all super outgoing, funny. I feel like we have similar like views on things. um And I just feel like the magic happened and like we all clicked so well.
00:28:10
Speaker
I also know people who joined groups and like they didn't feel that c click. And I always tell those people, I'm like, you should look for another group that you click with better because I do think that it can happen that you don't always click. Um, and I think it's also special if like you do join one, of a super large group that starts with a hundred members and you find like six or seven girls that you really click with, like, great. Like you guys can break off if the whole group isn't clicking as ah as a whole and that's okay too. Um,
00:28:44
Speaker
but I just can't say enough good things about my duty group and rorty basically like I genuinely feel like those women are some of my closest friends like yeah that's and and that's the funny part like everyone's always like you're going with people your internet friends that's always yeah the thing like you're going on a trip with your internet friends I'm like I'm I talk to these people every day. Like I talk to Candace every day, like, and we've known each other for three years. Like if we were college friends, we would have met freshman year and we're juniors. Like that's a long time, you know, yeah we're talking time, but, um,
00:29:22
Speaker
I'll go back to like, I joined two groups at once and one one clicked and one was like messy and hard to keep up with. Like they did it within Facebook messenger and I just got lost. Like they were popping off all day. Like I have a job like where I couldn't like really keep up. So it was tough. And I just felt like I got lost in the sauce in that one. And I just,
00:29:49
Speaker
I don't know, gravitated toward the other one a little more. So if that, that's what, like, if, if you want to join two at once and just see how it goes and like, which one you feel better about, I don't know. And and so like that's what I did. Yeah.
00:30:05
Speaker
I think that's totally, totally fine. Like, I think there are no rules here, you know, like they do it however you want to do it. um And like, it's gonna, you'll, you'll know when the vibe is right. I think.
00:30:23
Speaker
Yeah. And like I said, ours was like a slower burn. Like, yes, we knew things about each other. Like, Hey, I'm Whitney. I live in Tennessee type thing. And this is my job and blah, blah, blah. And I'm having a girl. But like, once you get into actually having your kids, um, it gets just like much deeper. And I would suggest like joining as, I don't know, as soon as you feel comfortable, like other people knowing you're pregnant. Um, I, I probably waited until I was like 15 weeks or 16 weeks when I joined. um It was literally after hanging out with Candice and Shannon after we were starting mom group chat. And I was like, you had been talking about it a little bit. And I was like, please send me that Facebook group. Like, I need to remember to join. And then. I found my group and man, we are so, so close to this day. Like they're literally like Florida, New York, New Jersey, Texas, Michigan, like they're everywhere. And it's like so cool to have friends all across the U S that i don't know, um I'm super tight with and like do consider some of my greatest friends.
00:31:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think it's also something that is that helped me a lot is everyone does things differently, right? Like and all babies are different, like babies are hitting milestones at different times. And the due date group is such a good, like, reminder that, like, everyone's on their own timeline. Like, I actually felt it to – Yeah, like, I actually felt it to help my anxiety. Like, I didn't compare myself to anyone in the group. It was genuinely more reassuring that, like, okay, this is basically a case study. There 40 babies in this group. And like, we all parent differently. We all, some of us do the same thing. Some of us do different things. And like all of our babies are on different, like everyone's hitting different things. So I think some people feel hesitant to join a do day group in like, oh, I don't want it. I feel like it might make me anxious. I found the exact opposite. It almost like reassured me that every baby is different. And like,
00:32:33
Speaker
everyone is on their own timeline and like, we're, they're all great. You know? so but I like went into it kind of blindly. Like I didn't have expectations of like help and I'm not really like a, a questiony person. Like I, I just like to like chill and be like the listener most of the time. And so I went into it. Like I want to make friends because that's me. I'm like the networker. So going into it and like actually having these like hard conversations, these fun conversations, like it just like really exceeded my expectations of what it would
The Reassurance of Support Groups During Motherhood Challenges
00:33:09
Speaker
be. And um yeah, everything is always so reassuring in there. And it was fun to have like a partner in crime too when I was like sleep training because I was so terrified of doing it again, even though I'd already done it with Graydon. Um, but it was like nice to have a partner in crime, like through the night checking in with each other, like, how's it going for you? And, um, I don't know. it was just like super nice to have that. Yeah. Cause you know, y'all know me, that was my, uh, Achilles heel.
00:33:39
Speaker
oh I know. And it is so like reassuring. And it's also like nice to have someone to text in the middle of the night when you're going through that shit and you're like, what the fuck? And you know, like if they're in 40 women or however many, like one of them is awake. In fact, most of us were awake all at the same time. And can I tell you, like some of my fondest memories of the newborn phase is being up in the middle of the night, like giggling with...
00:34:09
Speaker
my due date group. Like I feel like some of our best convert, most unhinged conversations and like us sharing things is late night, like in the middle of the night. And it's funny, there would be girls who would be like, you know, sleeping or not awake at that time. And they, and they would wake up and be like, I'm so upset. I missed conversation. I'm giggling like reading it and God, I mean, I just think back to some of those conversations where I was like full on crying, laughing in my bed and my, and Vinny being like, ah what, who are you talking to He's like, are you having an affair? I'm like, no, it's just my due date group.
00:34:47
Speaker
I was like, honestly, constantly online because they were making me laugh too. But i was the one that always went to sleep. And I told my group, I said, I don't care who I'm sharing in a room with. I just need someone that goes to bed next after me. Like, cause I go to bed first. Yeah. And they all know that they call me a grandma. I don't care.
00:35:06
Speaker
i love going to bed. Like, you yourre at not the five okay yeah, I was going to say like, honestly, we shouldn't room together because we're different. We're built different. We've known this.
00:35:19
Speaker
Yeah, we know this. Most of the time I just stay asleep, though, and you wake up and it's fine. And I play on my phone and it's fine. I've always I've always known my space like my. Yeah, I've done that my entire life. I stay quiet.
00:35:33
Speaker
already know. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man, that is funny. Okay. I was going to look at the, i posted some Instagram stories. Oh, you did?
00:35:45
Speaker
i did. i did. I did. Let's see. Okay. I did a poll of like, are you in a due date group? And like I put, yes, I'm obsessed. No, it's not for me.
00:35:59
Speaker
I was, but it fell apart or no, but I want to find my people. And it looks like there's a lot of people who are interested in joining a due date group. So I'm happy to hear about that because this episode will help them. 23% said, yes, I'm obsessed. said, no, it's not for me.
00:36:15
Speaker
twenty three percent said i was but it fell apart And then 41% said, no but I would like to find my people. Yeah. So that's exciting. Okay. What's the best part about joining a due date group or your most positive experience?
00:36:33
Speaker
ah someone wrote commiserating about the hard parts of parenting and the TMI oversharing. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That is my favorite part. Like the TMI oversharing. yeah Like the way like I shared bodily fluid updates with these people is like honestly crazy.
00:36:54
Speaker
like the state of my vagina. Like, well, and I think I know everything about their husbands. Like I know their deepest, darkest secrets. Oh, Honestly, that is actually so it's been such a good like reality check for marriage. I think to hear about everyone else's bullshit, it makes you realize, okay, like we've got bullshit and they've got bullshit. Everyone has bullshit and no one's husband is perfect. No matter what the father's day post says on Instagram, like no one's husband is perfect. And that's the best thing is like in this do day group, I know the, I know the truth.
00:37:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's so funny. and my friend And they know the truth about mine also, you know? Yeah. It's funny. On Father's Day, we always, like, will send in the chat, or in the past, we've been, like, posting about my Father's Day. You keep your mouth shut about what I've said.
00:37:49
Speaker
I love him so much. Like, and on the whole, Vinny is so great, okay? I love my husband. He is such a great dad, but... You know, men are men. Sorry. They are. I think it's just interesting. Like you go through the phase of like when you first have your baby and you're just so like, I don't know, you're so obsessed with like your partner that you had your baby with. And then you get into the like roommate phase and you all get to do that together and like talk through like what is happening and then come out on the other side. And you're like, that was fucking hard. Like, I'm glad we could all talk about that.
00:38:23
Speaker
Thanks for helping. Yeah. Yeah. Someone wrote less doom scrolling, less doom scrolling and Googling when other people are dealing with the same things. 100% agree. I think that's a good call out. You do like scroll less of the scary parts of the internet, like staying with a group of like basically your case study group of women who are all dealing with the same things. Oh, ahead.
00:38:49
Speaker
Yeah. If every other message mentions giggling and like funny moments. So yeah, the humor, y'all the humor. It's where the funniest people to ever exist. um But I was going to say like if if brands were smart, they would join a due date group and like get so much information out of us. Oh, for sure. They should build a case study group of moms.
00:39:16
Speaker
I mean, like we already do that. Well, we I mean, we don't have like a brand, but like yeah if like Pampers or something was like, oh, my God, let's like go after October, November, December 2026 due day groups and like do a case study with them on like why they use a diaper like that. be They're all they exist already.
00:39:38
Speaker
Yeah. Like, Hey, we're going give you free diapers for five months. Tell us where she's much information. Yeah. Oh my God. Done. Brilliant. Brilliant. Pampers hit us up or I'm a hug. I know you're out.
00:39:56
Speaker
um Oh my gosh. Okay. And then I asked, what did I say? I said, we're keeping this episode positive, but would also love to hear anything you've learned about navigating a large group dynamic or making friends online.
00:40:10
Speaker
um Okay. This is interesting.
00:40:16
Speaker
Someone said, I'm always worried that I'm making friends with someone who I wouldn't align with in real life. Hmm. I think that that, is actually a positive. Okay. And I'm going to like, I feel like sometimes you, if you stay like in your neighborhood or in your group at home, it's like, you're kind of pigeonholed to like the same people you're used to being around. And I do think joining the student group has like expanded my like view of
00:40:48
Speaker
who I could be friends with in a way. Like, I feel like we're all so different, but like also we align and like are, they're all so fucking funny. Like, oh my God. I just kind of think of it like, that's kind of like, um, I don't know, like a high school mindset of like you thinking of like the pods, like the popular, the freaks, the geeks. And it's like, I don't know, I'm older and I like talking about it now with even like coworkers and they're like, yeah, I was in the band. Like we would have never been friends. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like people are saying these things and I'm like, yeah it doesn't matter anymore. Like we're not're not in pods anymore. We all have so much in common. We're all like in the same goal. We're all moms. Like we all want the best for our children and we're all just trying to figure it out together. So it's like, yeah. Yeah.
00:41:39
Speaker
that's where like my mindset is basically totally i agree like anyone anyone from any of those pods is gonna be a mom so like we're all we all are connected in that thread now and also like i'm 30 years old like it's 35 we'll pass that don't don't age me i'm always i'm forever 30
00:42:05
Speaker
You're 45.
Building a Supportive Community
00:42:07
Speaker
Okay. Someone wrote to have a village, you have to be a village and it's a lot, but committing is so, so worth it. And I think that is such a good statement. Like if you want these women, i mean, it it, it goes back to you get what you put into it. Yeah. Like however much you give to the group is exactly what you're going to get out of it, I think. So if you want these women to show up for you and check in on you, you also have to do the same for them, which is why i said in the beginning, I think it's such a good
00:42:41
Speaker
like experience for like flexing your friendship muscle. i think that after college and like after young adulthood, you kind of get settled with like your friends and like you see each other and like whatever. i think this is a good exercise in making friends and showing up for people and reaching out and being there.
00:43:02
Speaker
These women in my group have been there for me through some of the hardest times of my whole life. And I would hope that they would say the same about them and because we've all been through really tough shit. Okay. It's not just me. And i like in order to, in order to have people show up for you, you have to show up for them. And that's just the way life is. That's not, that's outside of due date groups too. Like, and it is so worth it. Like, like this girl said.
00:43:33
Speaker
Yeah. And you may be going through something where you do drop off and and that's okay too. Like it's hard. Yeah. ah Someone wrote, someone has to be the convener. Found it easiest to do it myself and see who shows up. I think that's a solid, I think there are natural like leaders or like people who naturally like step out to get the group together or to start a conversation. And then I think there are people that like feel more comfortable hanging back and like they will chime in and like, a you know, not chime in, you know what i mean? They will be active, but I think that it's natural for a group to have like
00:44:18
Speaker
natural leaders, I guess, or like people who are, who lead the, the crowd. Um, that being said, i think if there's like too many leaders or a very overbearing leader, it can be, it it can, it can dim the vibe for sure.
00:44:35
Speaker
Yeah. i'm Definitely the follower I, I'm just so grateful for people that love planning and like getting the groups together because i love joining. So thanks. Yeah.
00:44:47
Speaker
I think I tow the line. I think there are some things I lead on and there are some things I follow on. I think it also depends on like the phase of my life and like where I'm at. Yeah. um But there are definitely some really solid natural leaders in our group. Like I said, Courtney being one of them, like, She always, she's so good at getting that trip out of the group chat. I'm like, love her. I love my group so much, but I, she's, she's, she's, I told her she's, she, she should start a travel business. Like I was like, my brother does this. You need to do it. Yeah. like Start making money for being the planner, honestly. So all in all, my recommendation would be to try it out and see if it's for you. It's also fine if it's not, but I, it has changed my experience with motherhood and I am so, so, so grateful to have found those friends. I didn't mention this earlier. The other like super pro about this is that I feel like I have friends all around the country. I got friends in Seattle. I've got friends in California. I've got friends in New Hampshire. in the Northeast, in Georgia, like you name it. I feel like I've got a friend there. And like, that's so cool.
00:45:56
Speaker
I agree. i kind of felt like that after college, but it is nice to like have like a destination to go to. Like if I'm ever in New York, I'm like, what's up? I have friends that live here. I have a lot of friends that live there now, but yeah, it was like nice to like, or comforting to have that. But, um, yeah, I agree. Like I said, I, I didn't do it with Graydon and it was just a game changer with Margo and, um And like, we're still going so strong to this day and I can't wait to go on my trip with them and come back and like spill all the tea of how it went. So, um, you're going to have the best time. Excited.
00:46:37
Speaker
for girls trip. Can't wait to hear about it. I'm going to go bug my group to plan our next one. Okay. All right. Love you guys. Love you. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.