Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Alcoholics Synonymous
14 Plays7 months ago
Brian and David speak about their journey with alcoholism and their journey to bettering themselves.
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:01
David Isaacs
All right.
Introduction and Episode Themes
00:00:02
David Isaacs
Welcome to episode one, late stage evolution. This is David here, accompanied by Brian and episode is alcoholics synonymous. Good morning, Brian. How are we doing?
00:00:20
Brian Leithead
I'm good, David. We're looking forward to this episode. Very personal episode for me to begin with, so looking forward to getting into
Personal Reflections on Therapy and Sobriety
00:00:27
Brian Leithead
it. How are you?
00:00:29
David Isaacs
Good. Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, a little bit nervous. I think the, uh, we've had a lot of these conversations before in the past, um, nothing that's been recorded for anyone else to kind of hear the embarrassing things. Um, maybe not so embarrassing things that we're going to talk about here, but yeah, feeling good. Um, happy Thanksgiving or early Thanksgiving to you.
00:00:53
Brian Leithead
Yeah, same to you. It's a good time to talk about, get all my negative emotions out before a holiday with Phil, full of family and different personalities. So I guess it's a good exercise to warm up to that. So, but happy Thanksgiving to you and all of our listeners out there.
00:01:12
David Isaacs
Yeah, or millions of listeners all across the world. Um, we do this for you. It's not for me. It's not for Brian. It's all for you. Um,
00:01:20
Brian Leithead
Yeah, this is this episodes because I can't afford therapy right now. So, you know, we're just trying to figure it out.
00:01:26
David Isaacs
yeah. And yeah, inflation's crazy. The better, better help I've done the free trial or the, uh,
00:01:30
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
00:01:35
David Isaacs
I don't know. It's, it's, it's been a few years for therapy. It's definitely something that I wish I could do more of, but now with the, my health insurance doesn't really allow that.
00:01:46
Brian Leithead
Great, we'll call this a podcast, lesser help than for at least this episode, maybe the ah subtitle.
00:01:52
David Isaacs
Yeah. Yeah, we'll do we'll do lesser help next one to just talk about experiences with therapy and, you know, the general cost of trying to do it. But I mean, it is it has been very helpful certain stages throughout my life. But yeah, it is. It's definitely worth it, even though if you're not dealing with anything, I think our unconscious mind or subconscious mind, whatever it is, kind of works against us sometimes, even if the
00:02:23
David Isaacs
Emotions aren't really seen or thought of. Because I've gotten very good at suppressing a lot of things, sending them so deep down that I don't even realize there's an issue until something pops up or I go kind of manic for a little while. So just the introspection, I think, is very important and something that I want to be able to address more of, to be able to dig down and kind of figure out these things.
00:02:53
David Isaacs
Really the roots of habits how we interact with people how we act and it Talking about like fixing habits and fixing like you really have to fix more like the root of the problem But it's a little bit harder when you know I'm almost 30 years old and for most of my adult life have acted in that way so having the patience and time to really work on these things on top of everything else that you have to deal with is a little bit
Binge Drinking and Sobriety Journeys
00:03:23
David Isaacs
harder.
00:03:23
David Isaacs
And that note talking about my my issues with alcoholism, definitely in being being a binge drinker variety hasn't been too great.
00:03:39
David Isaacs
And I know you you're a little bit further on in the journey than I am.
00:03:44
David Isaacs
So if you want to touch on that,
00:03:45
Brian Leithead
Yeah, so I haven't, uh, like in, uh, I think like another week here would be my seven months being sober. Um, I was unemployed for at that point, about two months. Um, and you know, just like with every other alcoholic, you really don't try and change anything until you hit rock bottom and at that point no job you know I just felt like I was failing and everything and my personal life like my wife was gonna leave me not because of everything that was going on just specifically my drinking had gotten so bad and I can think back of times like where we hung out and it's like you know I've tripped on the flight of stairs in the movie theater and I'm like oh yeah I totally just yeah I was fine no I was fucking out of my mind drunk might have to point it that
00:04:27
David Isaacs
here.
00:04:34
Brian Leithead
that swear word but yeah I was drunk out of my mind and I was just embarrassed I'm like oh man I had tripped and you know I just kind of want to bought it no I had been probably drinking most of that morning and most of that afternoon so oh no of course why not get you know unemployed let's spend you know thirty dollars on a double shot of of bourbon to see a movie why not so yeah I mean I've had my trials and tribulations through this of temptation but I think overall I feel a lot better but you know we can kind of get into the nitty-gritty but congrats on getting you know at least said you're about two weeks sober now
00:05:16
David Isaacs
Yeah. So like I said, I had a wedding last not last Friday, but Friday before. So since then, it had been about a week and a half. Unfortunately, that Sunday was the Lions Texans game. And I went to a bar.
00:05:31
Brian Leithead
Oh no.
00:05:33
David Isaacs
And was really weird because I had felt like I felt fine, but like going in the bar, like just the visual aspect of going somewhere that usually, you know, used to drink at like I had felt kind of faint. It was like a really weird feeling of just like feeling off.
00:05:53
David Isaacs
and sitting there and, you know, just like chugging water, eating food, you know, it could have been also like a low blood sugar type of thing. But Yeah, just just generally like feeling off like I felt like really tired like feeling like not exactly like tired It felt like faint like I just couldn't have I couldn't produce any energy or I didn't have any energy and That was like really weird experience and yeah the
00:06:28
David Isaacs
the lines weren't doing so well. So at halftime, they're all like trying to figure out like what to do, try to help out. So I started drinking. And I kind of I kind of see it as a win.
00:06:39
David Isaacs
a small win because I had waited that long and had only drank two beers by the time the game was done and then that was the end of it. Whereas, you know, talking about the binge drinking that had been an issue for me starting and I can't stop the wedding prior to that, you know, I Tried to push off like the drinking I usually only drink beer and had gotten more and more of a tolerance for it but there had been You know Fridays that would go along week after week that I would just be sitting here playing video games at night, you know, and I'd pick up a you know, 12 pack of light beer or whatever and I By the end of the night, which was really into the morning, you know, it'd be about like 7am and I'm polishing off the rest of the 12 pack. So it wasn't only.
00:07:39
David Isaacs
You know, the binge drinking, you know, out in crowds, social
Social Pressures and Sobriety Challenges
00:07:44
David Isaacs
situations. I think there was definitely a part of social anxiety that had played a part in me drinking more and, you know, going to college away at college and the the bars and, you know, just the the drinking culture of being there. Really, you kind of ingrained that in me.
00:08:04
David Isaacs
so even hanging out with the same people that I used to in college and you know it just kind of kept perpetuating on itself until it got to a point where I think you just get you don't really realize it's bad like you might think about it like the next morning but then it's just another thing that you kind of push down and you know you want to be able to work on it you want to say You know, you can say no eventually, but you kind of also just like, eh, whatever, you know, it's not that big of a deal, but it, yeah. Like how you said, he like like you hit rock bottom or, you know, it gets to a point where it's like too much of an issue that you really have to like look at yourself and how I was talking about like introspectively and look at like kind of your motivations behind it and.
00:08:55
David Isaacs
Now that I've put it behind me, I know I'm only a couple weeks in. It's like starting to realize, you know, how much better you are without it. The fact that like you don't need it. Like, I think the other thing of like,
00:09:13
David Isaacs
you know, not drinking when you go someplace and people like trying to egg you on to, you know, drink with them. They want to kind of be in the same headspace, you know, or my worry that they like me better when I was drunk. They don't really want me around. I'm sober, that type of thing.
00:09:33
David Isaacs
But I think the, you know, kind of the next steps of going out and doing things like, you know, it's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So kind of symbolic in the fact that this is really the biggest bar night of the year, I think, in many people's minds. So I have some friends that are going out tonight. So I don't know if I really want to test my temptations and doing that and going out. I also hate crowds like bars like big bar nights always feel like very touristy to me like there's always a line to the bathroom not that I would drink but there's always a line to the bar there's a line to get in you know it's like the crowd how crowded it is like even if they're like just trying to get a water or a soda
00:10:23
David Isaacs
or just trying to get food, like it's going to take forever just because of how many people are out and about. But yeah, it's it's been shorter in terms of, you know, trying to make this change, but definitely notice some you health benefits physically, mentally. And it's really offered me kind of a ah ah different look at how I'm going about life and the fact that like these These things that we do not only cost money, but they cost your time.
00:10:59
David Isaacs
It costs your state of mind and really like the getting up the next day and kind of losing that day because I don't want to do anything. I don't feel great. The hangovers that had gotten worse, the the general unhealthiness of it as well.
00:11:12
Brian Leithead
Right.
00:11:17
David Isaacs
Like I can't really, I try to pride myself on somebody that looks at new information, you know, all of the Huberman, Andrew Huberman, you know, he has his own, he has his own issues right now, doesn't really seem like that great of a guy would kind of introduce me to this, a different way of thinking or kind of like the new studies, new science that come out
00:11:57
David Isaacs
You know, learning about these things, learning how alcohol affects you and just how unhealthy it is, not only for your sleep, wake patterns, um, the general inflammation that you're introducing to your body, um, like a lot of these things. So it's kind of like I was giving advice, but wasn't able to take it. And now just working to try to correct that and try to be the person that I want to be not exactly like.
00:12:27
David Isaacs
you know, whether people want me to be. And that's been that's been quite the change. But I know you're seven months now. Congratulations on that. I hope you're doing well. Feeling good. You have a job now. So congrats on that again.
00:12:46
Brian Leithead
Yeah, yeah, it's good to have money and really just a structure. It's my day. I think that was the important thing for at least the early months, especially of sobriety. And, you know, it's not like I i was, was, wasn't going to AA, you know, I wasn't doing anything like that. I was just, I just, i i I thrive better when I have structure in my life and I have a ah schedule. Like when I get out of the pocket, like that's when I'm like drinking, like,
00:13:15
Brian Leithead
You know, eight double shots of whiskey a night, um, blacking out my basement with the TV still playing, uh, you know, waking up at two o'clock in the morning. You know, I feel like I've got to like instantly go to the bathroom. Then it's like, I go, when I finally meander up to my bed, like a zombie, which is two flights of stairs up. So it feels like it's like, you know, walking from the bottom floor of the world trade center all the way to the top. Um, you know, just all that.
00:13:44
Brian Leithead
I don't have all of that going on anymore, you know, and kind of like what you said, I just had a, you know, anxiety of people's perception. I mean, I still do, like even in this new place where I work, where I'm in, you know, platonically in love with working with everybody and like I get along with everybody and no one's like this, you know, I have a great relationship, but I still have this perception of Do these people actually like me or are they just like tolerate me because I was hired and you know, I know people who have worked there, yada, yada, yada. Like they're still in the back of my head, but like I'm trying to deal with that in a natural way of like talking it out. You know, I have great support structure. Um, I've been doing a couple of better health trials and all of that, but the point is that, um, mentally I'm in a way better spot than I was seven months ago. Um,
00:14:40
Brian Leithead
the first few months I struggled with brain fog, you know, trying to come up with a word that was so simple, remembering things that just happened, remembering things that I normally would if I weren't on a, you know, coming off of a, you know, all-intense alcoholism, you know, and I just, I feel like I'm better for it.
Understanding Alcohol's Impact
00:15:05
Brian Leithead
And it's, you know,
00:15:06
Brian Leithead
I kind of have that clarity of like, um, we just had a work meet, um, sorry, I work, um, work party a couple of weeks ago where I would say a majority of people who were drinking and obviously they weren't like getting crazy or anything, but they were kind of like asking me if I wanted to do shots. And so, but they didn't know my history, right? So I was no, thank you. Um, I'm good. Kind of get that weird look of like, what, you know, in my head, it's like,
00:15:34
Brian Leithead
Are they looking at me because like I'm not doing shots or is it because I'm weird that I don't drink? All these, all these things I'm playing in my head, but, um, you know, dealing with and still dealing with that kind of anxiety of it. But, um, you know, I, I was the one who had had to drive home that way. Cause I took my wife and she had a couple of things to drink. Wasn't like she was, you know, getting crazy herself, but you know, she had a couple of drinks with tequila and, um,
00:16:03
Brian Leithead
So I'm not going to let her drive, you know, um, one of us was going to have to drive ultimately, but, but again, you know, it's, uh, you're kind of going against the grain of maybe social norms. I don't even say society, but definitely social norms and that. Um, so that's kind of a thing that I'm still struggling with currently, but I'm finding to be okay with that. I don't need to worry about other people's opinions. It's really just my own and people who I'm.
00:16:30
Brian Leithead
my inner circle, right, like my wife and my closer friends, those are who I'm really worried about, not co-workers on anything. But I would deal with that with by drinking alcohol. And, you know, it's like, and getting kind of into the physical things. It's like, I had a lot of physical problems. I mean, I still do. I'm dealing with them by going to the doctor, working out more eating healthier. But I think when I stopped drinking I would have like just general aches and pains that I probably wouldn't normally feel because the effects of alcohol blunt all that. right I don't know what the chemical is but they they lower that so I don't feel anything and it's just I was okay with not feeling anything. um That's what alcohol does. It masks the worst parts or things that you should probably
00:17:25
Brian Leithead
have to deal with on a physical and mental level and makes you care, you could care less about it when you're drinking. That's all you're focused on. So, um, you know, seven months later, um, I feel better for it. Um, I'm going to try a year of sobriety. Maybe, maybe I take a drink, maybe I just keep going either. Um, you know, kind of either way. I'm, I'm good with where I'm at right now. And it's kind of the first time in a long time that I've I've been like that. So, um, you know, kind of just my seven month journey, not show really.
00:18:03
David Isaacs
Yeah. Yeah. I think the I think the big thing, too, socially or just like with anyone else is just like you don't you don't really know. You don't really know that somebody is struggling with it because, yeah, you were very. I think you were pretty high functioning, at least like when we would meet or like we would talk or something and you'd be like, oh, yeah, I got a glass of whiskey here, but I just did all this coding today or I just did all this.
00:18:31
David Isaacs
work freelance for this website, we would meet out to go to the movie theater, and you know, you'd have a drink there or something. And yeah, I think the the other thing too is just like socially, you don't really know, you know, how much somebody else is dealing with it or struggling with it. So kind of like want to
00:18:54
David Isaacs
I think we're, we're pretty good at like masking it, or maybe like we're not as good as like picking up on how much somebody is struggling with it or dealing with it or how much that they actually do drink. Yeah, because I started, you know, just drinking at home, you know, like on discord talking to people.
00:19:14
David Isaacs
and the issue of going out and having like one drink but then like stopping at the liquor store on the way home and just like continuing to drink like trying to continue to you know keep that feeling going uh throughout the night and that has been you know, kind of one of the things like your brain works against you, right?
00:19:35
David Isaacs
Because your brain is I i don't know, like all the scientific things about it, just like my own personal opinion that the brain, your brain just kind of works against you. You know, like your I think your brain is inherently lazy and it gets into like these these habits, these bad habits in that, you know, alcohol might not be good for your body, but your brain enjoys it.
00:19:57
David Isaacs
It's kind of the same thing with You know, you change your diet, you start dieting, and you know, you might feel sick for a few days because, you know, your body doesn't have as much sugar to fuel you, you know, for the energy, not as much carbs or not as much like, you know, dopamine producing foods from a restaurant or something.
00:20:09
Brian Leithead
I agree.
00:20:18
David Isaacs
So you feel a little bit worse, you know, the first few days because your body and your brain are like, Oh, now we have to do this. Like you fucking asshole. I don't know about the swearing thing, but I don't think gonna like, bleep anything out, maybe come to a different decision on that.
00:20:36
David Isaacs
I never really had an issue with cussing or and hearing anyone else do it, but I think
00:20:41
Brian Leithead
Yeah, I mean, ah ah at work, you know, it's like always the first few weeks, you're kind of like in the gauge for whether you kind of not. And then some of the students as soon as that first F bomb drops, you're like, all right, we're in.
00:20:53
David Isaacs
it's always like in complaining about like somebody else like a ah ah partner that you deal with like outside of the organization they're like what the fuck are they thinking why do why do we have to deal with this shit like how like yes yes why do we have to deal with this shit yes like you know it just kind of the accentuates you know the the complaints and just like kind of gets you know that maybe a little tribe mindy, but kind of that like community aspects, village mentality together of like, yeah, it's us versus them. Like, you know, just kind of cements that whole feeling in the complaints and whatnot. But, um, yeah, I think the, the socially thing too, like what you're dealing with with like, you know, saying like, Oh, you don't want a shot or you don't want to drink here. Like I've, I've kind of gotten to the point of.
00:21:44
David Isaacs
You know, like the joke is, how do you know if someone's a vegetarian or not?
00:21:50
David Isaacs
They'll tell you.
00:21:52
David Isaacs
Right.
00:21:52
Brian Leithead
Okay, never heard that before.
00:21:52
David Isaacs
So, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've kind of, you know, I've talked to a couple people that I'm close to about it. But, you know, I've we've had like other people around and not it's something that I need to work on too.
00:22:07
David Isaacs
But just the.
00:22:09
David Isaacs
just people that, you know, feel really successful, feel really good about, you know, quitting and they gone to AA, they've got their coins, you know, they've been sober for however many months or years or whatnot.
Sobriety and Identity
00:22:21
David Isaacs
Like that's great. But I think the, you know, you do kind of get look from people or a certain like judgment on it. So I think, you know, I was planning on just like, you know, if I go to night or like in the future to just be like,
00:22:37
David Isaacs
Oh, no, I got to drive home or no, I have to get up early in the morning, you know, or, you know, going out and like you said, like your wife had a few drinks. She's like, Oh, no, I mean, I'm driving home tonight or something. And if I'm going out tonight and just be like, Oh, no, I've, you know, I, I got to drive home. Um, I have to get up early in the morning for Thanksgiving.
00:23:01
David Isaacs
You know, I can give you a ride home later on if you want, you know, things like that. Like, I don't really want to kind of put that out there. Um, especially like being so early on and everything. Cause at least for me, I think there's kind of like a certain sense of like, I'm, I'm doing this for myself. Like I don't owe people an explanation for it. I don't really want to like talk about it more than I have to.
00:23:28
David Isaacs
And, uh, yeah, just kind of, it feels more personal to me of like my own journey and dealing with it by not, you know, actively sharing it with other people and not having to deal with the the the questions that come from it. You know, because I think even if people don't.
00:23:47
David Isaacs
Like I say, like, you know, I, I drink too much. Like I feel like I've been an asshole or, you know, I feel like whatever they'll be like, Oh no, I've never, I never thought that. Like, no, just do not enable me into, you know, thinking that this is okay. You know, or if they, you know, even if they're trying to be helpful, they're like, Oh yeah, that's good. Like I, I just like, I don't, it's something like culturally, socially, that it's just like, so.
00:24:18
David Isaacs
Against like what you're doing like I'm at a I'm at a bar the Wednesday before Thanksgiving like I don't really want to like talk about I feel like it is too like against the grain and like what you were saying like at a work party Or whatever else, you know, I don't really want it to be It's something that I'm dealing with. It's something that I'm trying to get over something that Has affected me for a very long time, but I don't really want it to be like my identity if that makes sense and
00:24:45
Brian Leithead
Yeah, not, I get that. I don't want to be labeled as an alcoholic. I mean, I was when I was drinking. Um, but yeah, I don't want it for, I don't want it to be remembered, right? Like I don't want that on my tombstone that, you know, it was like Brian father, husband, alcoholic. Like I don't want that chisel into, to the limestone on my, at my grave site. So, and kind of like what you were saying, like, I don't want to owe, I don't owe people an explanation. Um, like, you know, I just talk about bourbon and whiskey, like I'm pretty.
00:25:15
Brian Leithead
I had a lot of urban buddies, right? Like I'm an admin and a couple of groups on Facebook, um, still just kind of, that's how, that's how deep into this world that I was.
00:25:21
David Isaacs
That's right.
00:25:25
Brian Leithead
Um, and you know, we, we have some gatherings and people are like, why didn't you show up? I'm like, Oh, you know, I'd always just like have some excuse of, you know, Oh, something came up or whatever the case is.
00:25:36
Brian Leithead
And then, um, you know, another buddy, I was kind of maybe a little bit more, um,
00:25:44
Brian Leithead
I don't want to say a why, but I was kind of like, yeah, I'm just kind of doing it because I got some numbers back when I to the doctor and, you know, he said I should quit drinking for a while. But, you know, that's kind of like just blowing smoke just to whatever. But I'm not open about it. You know, I'm not like, hey, I'm going to be a sponsor and an AA. And if you do that, that's fine. More power to you. I don't I don't knock that. It's just not for me. It's like it's a more personal journey.
00:26:12
Brian Leithead
And for me, know, only check-in or explanation I owe is to my family, to my wife, to my son, you know? It's like my wife was literally a wedding... yeah, literally willing to walk out the door. I don't blame her. At the time I was like, you know, drunk out of my mind. I was like, you're gonna leave me at the worst possible time of my life? Like, I don't have a job. Like, I just felt like a complete loser at that point.
00:26:40
Brian Leithead
So I don't want to feel like that ever again, number one. Number two, it's expensive to drink whiskey. like Just the monetary value of the collection that I had was in the thousands. And I burned through that in a couple of months of unemployment, because that's how much I was drinking. So it's great for your ear wallet not to drink, like you were saying earlier. There's just a lot of
00:27:09
Brian Leithead
maybe outside things of you don't directly think about that ah the benefit of not being you know addicted to alcohol so And it's hard like I have a lot of friends We go out to a bar once a month I'm to the point now where I'm okay with going to a bar and being around drunk people ah took me a while to get like that and
00:27:32
Brian Leithead
Uh, but they were offering me shots and they were, you know, they were looking at me crazy because I didn't want to. And I'm like, I'm not ruining this for just the sake of one night of saying I had a good time. And I still say the same crazy things that I said I was drunk. I mean, maybe not to the, maybe not as crazy, but you know, I'm still a good hang. At least I feel like I didn't have received that feedback. Um, cause I'm closing up with these guys that can have that conversation. Um,
00:27:59
Brian Leithead
But yeah, it's, it's getting to that point and having, you have to, you have to build towards that. You have to be okay with going out eventually. Um, or not going, you know, whatever your case is, every, everyone is different. But for me, you know, I'm okay going out to the spa and having a burger and fries or whatever. Like I don't eat like that normally. Um, but I want to, I want to hang out with people and these aren't the type of folks who are like, Oh, let's have like a potluck at somebody's house. They're there. Let's go get.
00:28:28
Brian Leithead
you know, drunk and talk about our crappy jobs or whatever's going on in our life, right? So I'm finally now to the point where I can do that and, you know, not be, I can fight the temptation.
00:28:38
Brian Leithead
Um, and even at the, even at the bar that we go to at a reputation for dancing for place that isn't a dance bar, that is not, not, not a dance bar.
00:28:50
Brian Leithead
It is a, they have like a couple of TVs, they have an arcade, but it's strictly just a bar so um yeah and the waitresses are like oh why aren't you dancing right now and i'm like i don't know what you're talking about there are sometimes i don't even remember doing that that's how fucked up i was so
00:29:10
David Isaacs
Oh yeah. Yeah, bringing the dancing shoes. Definitely. I'm a big dancer, too, like at weddings and whatnot. Like, I just, you know, I get to that point. It's like, I don't care. Like, whatever. Like, you know, people have invited me. They spend so much money on this wedding. Like,
00:29:30
David Isaacs
You know, there, there's too many people that just kind of like sit at the table or whatever. Like I always felt like I needed to like show like the appreciation or just like that. I was having a good time because I think when, you know, somebody has a wedding like that and they spend so much money, like the, the, one of the things that they worry about and the wedding that I went to most recently, you know, I, I.
00:29:52
David Isaacs
know the couple like very closely and they were always like couldn't go out couldn't do this they were like always doing wedding planning took up like a lot of their time and I think the one of the things that like they wanted to make sure like it wasn't only a wedding for them that ah other people were like having a good time and I think it's harder for people to kind of see that if you're just you know sitting at a table not doing anything but think you make a good point too with the Being at the bar, I think just kind of opens up like a different social side. I think there's just like that spatial congruence with what you used to do with like drinking or whatnot. So I kind of almost feel drunk, even though I'm not drinking. Like I feel more open, more sociable, you know, because you're in that environment of, you know, you're just like sitting there bullshitting.
00:30:43
David Isaacs
having a good time, you know, catching up with your friends, like, you know, the atmosphere itself is kind of enough to open me up in a different way than it would be, you know, just sitting and like having a conversation.
00:30:55
David Isaacs
Uh, at somebody's house or just like talking and like trying to figure out like what to say. Like, I think, you know, getting enough people together and you know, you just continue rambling on different topics and different inputs of, you know, like what's going on.
Family Influences on Alcoholism
00:31:09
David Isaacs
Uh, talk about sports or like if somebody's gotten a new job and, you know, everyone's talking about like the shit that they have to deal with to day.
00:31:17
David Isaacs
but I think the other part of it too with the, in regards to the like not wanting to tell people like that I've quit drinking is that. maybe it's an insecure thing but i don't really like the fact that i can't do it anymore like i can't control myself like i've lost that part or maybe i never really had it and i just realized i never really had it of that i can't just sit there have a couple drinks and go home and be fine and wake up the next day and like do the things that i'm supposed to be doing so i think that at least for me that's a different part of it too is and like i don't want to tell people this because
00:31:54
David Isaacs
not only like they look at me because I'm not drinking but also like wondering like what what's wrong with me to the point like I i i can't just have a couple drinks and then like not do it because I think my mom would always my mom would always say that you know like genetically or you know like alcoholism runs in the family like this and that and I don't think the I mean the genetics might have something to play with it I haven't really looked up more to do with how that affects people you know if they have like a long long family history of drinking but I do think you know we talk about like growing up you know we
00:32:32
David Isaacs
The uncle he thought that was fun, that was, you know, always sociable, wanted to talk to you. And then he start to remember like the, you know, the Budweiser breath. And they're like really close to your face and you're just like their breath stinks. They're like, cool.
00:32:46
David Isaacs
They're like, hey, let's throw the football or, you know, let's do this or like, let's do that. and You know, family parties and that many get older and realize they're, you know, they're just an alcoholic and, uh, probably a whole different person when they weren't drinking.
00:32:57
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
00:33:00
David Isaacs
And, uh, yeah. And seeing the downtrodden effects of that, uh, like I had mentioned to you before, I had a uncle that died of cirrhosis of the liver when he was in his early forties.
00:33:09
Brian Leithead
Oh.
00:33:12
David Isaacs
You know, and he had a he had an older daughter and left behind two young kids and then another kid. So not like they're just thinking about, you know, because you're not it's not going to happen tomorrow.
00:33:29
David Isaacs
but it I think somebody said like it charges interests it charged not interests but interest in that you know as you continue to do it as you continue to go along like these things catch up to you know you could get cirrhosis of the liver I had another uncle that dealt with you know three bouts of cancer And we me and my mom drove him to Indiana, Indiana University Hospital for some like stem cell therapy while he was doing chemo, where I think the process was they like extracted stem cells or they extracted something from him and then gave him like a good dose of chemo.
00:33:51
Brian Leithead
Now.
00:34:10
David Isaacs
And then they like injected that back into him. So like he didn't deal with like all the damage from the chemo or at least like the It helped him in his recovery after having it, he ended up passing away during that treatment and You know even driving him down there to the hospital. He was like asking me to stop at the liquor store for him
00:34:34
David Isaacs
And, uh, yeah, I was like, I didn't want to, my mom like like sitting there and just like, yeah, well, he's going to do it anyway. He's going to do it anyway. And then just like, it's tough being in those situations, like knowing that. Um, but at the same time, you know, the guy's in his mid forties and yeah, he, he was probably going to do it anyways. And as, uh, you know, his wife had passed a couple of years before that. And yeah, it's just.
00:35:04
David Isaacs
looking at these people and, you know, growing up, you know, you really don't really don't see this in a lot of people, but just the reality of the situation kind of becomes more clear as you get older. And yeah, I mean, even my cousins and they have their other family members that have, you know, maybe their own issues outside of alcohol, but you just kind of look and see it. And, you know, as strange it it is, I looked at it as like the cool cousin.
00:35:33
David Isaacs
Even though I live with my mother, the the ceiling's pretty low in terms of they think is like cool, because I have...
00:35:39
Brian Leithead
Nah, don't beat yourself up, Larry. Don't talk about yourself.
00:35:42
David Isaacs
No, I mean, no, it's it's it's just, you know, because I have a college degree and I work an office job, I work remote, you know, things like that. So they're like always curious and like asking me about it and that. And like, it's cool. love talking about it and like seeing like, you know, what they're up to, how they're doing and everything. But it is it is kind of strange, maybe not genetically, but like in a family that, you know, it seems like a lot of them deal with their own problems and i don't know if that's really the case for a lot of people you know i'm n of one as far as the study but yeah i mean there's not too many people that i know of that weren't married into the family that are doing you know very well or become like what's considered like very successful but what is the um what's the shining quote i watched doctor sleep a few years ago i really like that movie and
00:36:37
David Isaacs
I seen the shining a few years before that, but it was like a man takes a drink.
00:36:40
Brian Leithead
oh it all uh yeah okay different one i was thinking of the uh all all work and no play make jack a dull boy but that one's way better than the one i thought of right for sure um but yeah no i i totally
00:36:43
David Isaacs
Yeah. It's like a man takes a drink and, you know, the drink takes the man or something like that.
00:36:59
David Isaacs
Well, it's not better, but just, I guess, more relevant to the conversation.
00:37:10
Brian Leithead
get your same way. Anxiety runs in my family. Um, again, I don't know if that's a genetic thing or if it's more learned and it's kind of passed down generational trauma, I guess is what you would call that. Um, you know, and that, you know, kind of stemmed part of the problem for me for drinking was I was already drinking, um, you know, every, every night. And then, um, you know, I lose my jobs and now it's like Canada's start spiraling out of control of like, what am I going to do? How am I going to get a job? You know, it's, I'm not like a, I guess I have maybe, um I have a neurodiverse brain. If I can't, you know, just think of a problem or think of the solution from a problem or the steps that I need to take, I like just completely spiral first. Like I go through that whole panic. Um, and then I start thinking of, cause I gotta, my brain has to go to the worst possible scenario first. And then I work my way back. Um,
00:38:09
Brian Leithead
but my mom has been like that. I think my dad is like that. Um, and I know my grandfather was like that. He had a heart attack at 74 in his sleep. Um, you know, just between that whole generation of not eating well, I mean, I know high blood pressure also runs in my family. So there's a whole litany of things that may have caused that, but, um, anxiety for, for sure. Um, you know, and I've, I've,
00:38:38
Brian Leithead
me and my siblings are all experiencing therapy, and my mother thinks of that as some failure, but you just have to assure her that it's not anything that you did, least not from a high-level standpoint. It's just, it's growth. It's getting past this. It's trying to better yourself. But yeah, it's...
00:39:00
Brian Leithead
trying to undo the things, the damage that you've done to your body, whether they're genetic or not, um, you know, is, is the thing that I hang my hat on as if I'm doing better, doing something about it better than my, my parents did. And that's not a knock on my parents. They did the best that they could, but you know, science and things are way in the forefront now than when I was growing up or when they were younger. So, um, yeah, I mean,
00:39:29
Brian Leithead
drinking. I remember every social gathering that my family had, there was always some sort of, you know, Miller light, Bush light, Natty light around just cans of it. And, you know, I don't know if it was just because it's a family gathering. And, you know, things can kind of get tense or just one feeling away about it or another. And, you know, but I can remember drinking and just having just watching my mother break down in tears sometimes because we didn't have any money to pay bills and sometimes you know just taking it out on whatever you know was a it was a eye-opening experience and for me now looking back yeah all that all that stuff ran in my family so again I don't know if it's all genetic or if it's just
00:40:24
Brian Leithead
something I viewed as a child and that's how I dealt with it. So
Generational Perspectives on Therapy and Relationships
00:40:29
Brian Leithead
I don't know.
00:40:29
David Isaacs
Yeah, I I I don't like I said, I mean, I don't know if it's it's genetic or if it's just kind of learned Behavior, you know, I think the yeah the whole thing with therapy.
00:40:38
Brian Leithead
Right.
00:40:41
David Isaacs
I kind of look at it like There's always the argument, you know, LeBron James or Jordan and Then it's like you can't compare them. They're different errors. Yeah, they're different errors, but there is also a Lot more science that went into like how to become like the best athlete like how do you exercise?
00:40:58
David Isaacs
What's the nutrition that you use? like what's the best practice that you could be doing and doing these things and Yeah, Jordan smoked cigars. He drank a lot was a gambling addict But he was also like at the top of his game in terms of the NBA at that time because they're Was a lot less in knowing about like the nutrition, the exercise, like what you could do that was like more helpful. And, you know, maybe he wasn't going to be the same player that he was if he wasn't like doing those things, but in a new era, a new generation, when there's new.
00:41:32
David Isaacs
Uh, new science out about, yeah, how to make it so that your body lasts a long time, that you can deal with the, the effects of how much like physical exercise that you're taking on later on into your life.
00:41:49
David Isaacs
You know, that's it's just different. Yeah. Like athletes are a lot better than they were 10 years ago, 20, 30, 40 years ago, you know, and there is much more known about it because of it. And I think the thing with therapy a lot is that, yeah, I mean, it's not a failure. And people look at it like 40, 50 year olds look at it like, oh, you know, like oh, therapy like it's it still has some sort of stigma to like the older generation because, yeah, that was not thought of like growing up.
00:42:19
David Isaacs
it it was thought of as like somebody that like really had issues like they were like forced to go to therapy or something but there's more understanding and more thoughts about it now and I you know always getting arguments with older family members of You know, well, people used to stick together, you know, marriages used to last. Well, you know, how many of those marriages where they just, you know, are unhealthy relationships that people sit through, not actually work on things, not work together on certain things. And yeah, they just hate it, but they stuck together like for like their kids or whatever, like that doesn't seem like.
00:43:00
David Isaacs
that doesn't seem like a good life you know and i think like what you were talking about of you know trying to get better for like a relationship and that you know with your wife is um yeah it's really it really comes down to like some things that are like personal but other things like looking at yourself as like somebody else that sees you and i think that communication from other people is Very important, like my mother is, you know, an enabler so i I can go on and on about, you know, the things that I dealt with growing up or, you know, trying to get better or how she like unconsciously would like work against me if I'm trying to diet and then I come home and there's like a box of donuts on the counter and like, whatever, whether or not she means to do it or not. But yeah, there are.
00:43:47
David Isaacs
certain tendencies and certain things that, you know, our parents had done and you can't really blame them for doing it because there wasn't a lot that was known about, you know, trying to be a good parent or even if there was, you know, the burnout between not having enough money or trying to provide a good life for your kids in whatever way that you thought was good.
00:44:09
David Isaacs
you know, and everyone's different in that way. So like, yeah, growing up going to therapy is, it really exists in a different vein of having somebody that helps you unlock the things that I think that we hold deep down. And the times that I went, you know, there were things that I would remember about like,
00:44:29
David Isaacs
You know, well, when did this behavior start or, you know, when they tell you to talk about your childhood and you can give them like the high level things of things that have happened to you. But, you know, there are things that just perpetuate upon themselves and build into how you see the world, how you interact with people, how you go about your day that, you know, you make what is it? I think like I don't know the exact number, but you make 10,000 plus decisions a day.
00:44:57
David Isaacs
That are just really just automated by your brain and they happen like kind of habitually so even mean like going and like realizing like you know, well this starts and then this leads to a snowball effect of like something a Bad habit that I have so like trying to find like wherever it starts at to try to like get you to stop doing that because it'll just continue to lead down the path of you, you know doing things bad and Right, and it's correct myself.
00:45:29
David Isaacs
The a man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man, apparently is a well-known saying attributed to F. Scott Fitzgerald.
00:45:40
David Isaacs
However, the line was first attributed to Fitzgerald in a 1970s novel by Jules Pfeiffer, Aykroyd.
00:45:40
Brian Leithead
I know.
00:45:48
David Isaacs
I believe Aykroyd is the name of the novel. And the line was in Dr. Sleep, but it wasn't in The Shining. so just wanted to make sure I corrected myself on that for somebody calls me out on it
00:45:54
Brian Leithead
All right. Oh, all right. Well, you'll be our Jamie and the Joe Robin Experience. We'll our resident fact checker.
00:46:11
David Isaacs
i i It's another bad habit of things like I'll bring things up. I it's like talk about the gym and like people in the sauna and You know that I told somebody like yeah, you know I think after a couple years because we were talking about like citizenship and like international soccer players so akin to like Christian Pulisic and and we're talking about it and I was saying like yeah it's like they can't really go over to Europe they can't get like a European passport but Pulisic could because his grandfather was sc Croatian
00:46:43
David Isaacs
So generally like the IC ending of the last name is pretty like common in Croatian people, similar to ski in Polish. So they have like Mateo Kovacic, Luca Modric. So like Pulisic, he would always joke that the Croatian players he played with would always say his last name is Pulisic. And the Croatian national team actually tried to get him to play for them.
00:47:11
David Isaacs
But I thought that citizenship like the U.S. would revoke your citizenship after a couple of years if you weren't living in the United States. And that was wrong. So after I'd said that, I like went and looked it up and kind of did a deep dive into this whole thing. And I guess that.
00:47:27
David Isaacs
There's not really a time frame for them like revoking your citizenship. As long as you're still active like you can have citizenship in a different country. Just as long as you're like continuing to pay taxes like you vote while you're back in America like you basically like come back to America like every so often.
00:47:47
David Isaacs
Um, so yeah, I clicked that up and then I seen him like a week later and it's like bringing that up with him. He's just like, okay.
00:47:55
Brian Leithead
Right.
00:47:56
David Isaacs
And then I'm like, Oh, I don't know. I felt like that was more for like me, but you know, feeling better about correcting myself, but he's just like, yeah, I don't. Yeah. It's weird like having the Conversations with people are bringing things up that Because I remember a lot, you know, and I think that's maybe one of the reasons why I enjoy drinking so I can kind of turn my brain off because I'm always like so Stimulated I guess or like my mind retains so much information like as it's going along like I kind of want to just like
00:48:30
David Isaacs
cut that off, which is obviously not good. I should should be working on, you know, trying to actively relax and feel comfortable in any social situation that I'm in. But yeah, i i I thought that I was like doing good. But at the same time, it's just like, oh, wait, didn't they like barely remember this conversation or maybe didn't give it a second thought?
00:48:54
Brian Leithead
Yeah, I mean, man, in old heads or, you know, whatever the age group that that person was in saunas, they're still talking like that in the gyms nowadays.
00:49:05
Brian Leithead
Sorry, that was a question.
00:49:07
David Isaacs
I'm sorry could you repeat it?
00:49:09
Brian Leithead
Oh, I said in the old heads and the saunas are still, you know, talking crazy like that and and saunas in the gyms. and It's been a few years since I've been, you know, in a public
00:49:20
Brian Leithead
public gym so you know it's kind of it's always interesting but for sure it's always interesting to have a conversation with really just people in general and ah you know out public I feel like I have the most interesting conversations whether I want to or not yeah oh yeah
00:49:37
David Isaacs
Yeah, it really opens you up to understanding that you really just don't know, right? Anybody that you walk by, you interact with at work, you know, the cashier at Starbucks or the gas station or whatever, like, you know, I think we get so ingrained into thinking about ourselves and like worrying and so much about ourselves. And then you there's somebody at at the gym that I see all the time and he has the same name as me. So that's kind of been like his whole thing. He's like, oh, yeah, Dave, what up, Steve? I'm like, yeah, what up, man? And, you know, the the whole citizenship thing started because he he married someone
00:50:22
David Isaacs
that was out of the country and he had moved there for a little while and had gotten married to her after a few years and had come back and he's currently dealing with like the citizenship process and the woman is in not in her original country but somewhere else like staying somewhere to like do like all these trial and tribulations to like get US citizenship So I've been like keeping up to date with him on that. And, ah ah you know, he was very open about it. And he knows like all the the people in the gym, like he all the Arabic people, he's like, Oh, Habibi.
Community and Personal Growth at the Gym
00:51:03
David Isaacs
As you know, it's like, yeah, let's go pray. Let's let's go. We're going Friday. You know, I know the guy that owns this restaurant is going to, you know, bring some food and, you know, other this stuff. So he's like not only
00:52:06
David Isaacs
and
00:52:07
David Isaacs
that was exercising really like three, four, five hours a day from the early summer into like March. So there was really only like two months that I wasn't actively exercising, but that was always structured. That was always scheduled. you had a time to show up. you You had the... competition of trying to beat somebody out for playing time or for a spot on the wrestling team on varsity. So but but really the change in the the being an adult and then, of course, like going to college and like that throws a wrench into everything as well, that you don't really have that community aspect. You don't have that team aspect anymore. So it's I had a different gym membership, but it was just a gym. There wasn't a locker room. There wasn't a sauna. There wasn't
00:52:52
David Isaacs
You know a lot of people that were going in at the time that I wanted to go because the gym was smaller and always Anytime that somebody was in there there was They were like super set on things so like go to sit down on a machine and they're like somebody across the gym is like hey I got one more set on that I like what Like they're using like three different machines even though they're not at that one at the time and yeah, it was just
00:53:19
Brian Leithead
Alright.
00:53:21
David Isaacs
It was just awful. So now, like a little bit more laid back in the fact that there is a sauna steam room, hot tub pool. You know, I'll go there and they'll be like 30 cars in the parking lot and I'll walk past like the machines and there's like three people in there. We go in the locker room and there's like so many people in the locker room that are like coming in and out from the pool or, you know, like doing other things and.
00:53:48
David Isaacs
Yeah, it's it's really been just the atmosphere of going in there. And it's like people are working to, you know, better themselves, I guess, and whatever sense they they feel, whether it's going in the pool or sauna or working out or whatnot. So it's good to kind of like feel that not so great at I don't have an issue with nudity. So let's let's let's talk about this a little bit about like old man ass but the like just you know if you're changing like just wear a towel like don't conversate don't be like putting your foot up on like the bench like talking to people while you're naked
00:54:16
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
00:54:28
David Isaacs
or just like standing around naked, like it's cool, you're comfortable in your own skin, I get it. But my whole thing is like, most people aren't comfortable seeing other people naked. So I try to keep it as minimal as possible, like wear a towel, get to my locker, get my gym bag out, get my clothes out, take the towel off, dry off any areas that I think are not dry enough and change. yeah, the other aspect of it is just like,
00:54:59
David Isaacs
because
00:55:00
David Isaacs
that that really been the mostly negative part of it, ah I was able to go both days on the weekend this past week, and it was a lot busier, but I hadn't been since I signed up at this gym like month and a half ago.
00:55:16
Brian Leithead
Yeah, hell yeah.
00:55:23
David Isaacs
I hadn't been on the weekends just because most Friday nights or Saturday nights I would just be getting drunk. So I was really only going like two or three times a week. And yeah, since Friday to Monday, I went every day and I didn't go yesterday because of work in the golf simulator. But yeah, it had been a, it's been a good experience, kind of like a just change of, you know, people that you surround yourself with. Um, I think there's a, I think there's a saying for it,
00:55:53
David Isaacs
I guess high level generally, like the people that you're around, even if you're not conversating or talking with them, I think just the the unconscious or subconscious mind of just like being around other people that are still there for like the same purpose is helpful as well.
00:56:09
Brian Leithead
Yeah, kind of like the collective, I don't want to say hive mind, but like the collective consciousness of trying to better yourself. ah Whether, you know, you're the older guy with his, his wang out, or, you know, you're just, or, or, you know, like, look, man, I don't want to see the angle of your dangle.
00:56:21
David Isaacs
Yeah.
00:56:26
Brian Leithead
Like, I just don't, I, you know, but getting away from that point, I just want to put that in there. Yeah, no, putting yourself around, and this goes for, I mean, really beyond the gym, but,
00:56:40
Brian Leithead
you know, kind of just like that collective conscious of just trying to do better, whether it's making your company better, making yourself physically better, whatever the case is, just being around that positivity, I think, does a lot for a your mental health. And, well, I guess 100% of your mental health, right, because you're, you feel like you're contributing to yourself into to something bigger. have a support system in place that they just want what's best for you or you know even if it's just chatting about you know citizenship or soccer players the the skis versus the icks or whatever the itches um yeah i think it's great for your your mental health you know it's going to keep you out from thinking about even a lick of alcohol um so you know that's awesome for you and that's glad that you you recognize that um
00:57:35
Brian Leithead
I need to get back to it. I admitted it on this recording that I haven't been to a gym in a couple years now. Like I would go here and there, but regularly I haveve have not been. That's something that I need to improve upon that. I've kind of got the ah mental game back in. But yeah, I mean, I prefer this maybe controversial. We can talk about this in another podcast, but that's kind of why I like working in office. You know, I I'm like a extroverted introvert. I like socializing, but I'm not like, I don't necessarily require it. I just like being around people. Um, but then, you know, there are also times, um, where I just kind of want to be in solitude and putting my focus in on my work. Um, you know, but you know, um, I think just being around people in, in, in general, there's a lot of fear.
00:58:26
Brian Leithead
your mental health, especially and in a positive environment like that. So I commend you for doing that.
00:58:32
David Isaacs
Yeah, I think the talk about like the sense of community and I'm not a very religious person, right, but I think church does offer people some of that peace of mind. You know, being in church having the same goal, the same mission of, you know, better yourself, faithfully, spiritually.
00:58:51
David Isaacs
and you know meeting the different people that are around that go to the same church whether you have like the luncheon afterwards or you know just the networking aspect of it just you know meeting different people and socializing or whatnot but yeah the ah ah extroverted introverted thing i get like i don't i can't really get anything done at at home like I can for work that's a little bit different but as far as like the gym or like cleaning or other things like I the other thing I have to work on is kind of like separating things out because I'm so associated with like being home like I'm more comfortable you know I had
00:59:33
David Isaacs
Had agoraphobia Which basically means like I had a fear of like going outside, but it was really like a fear of crowds or going places when I was 16 or 17 developed like pretty bad anxiety issues.
Home Comfort and Productivity
00:59:46
David Isaacs
So I think now like the At home is like more of a comfort zone except for the basement because after COVID I I still have some issues but after COVID like I was basically just in the basement like trying to figure out like what the heck was happening to me I had you know long covid had issues like standing up didn't really have a lot of energy like was uh but also like couldn't fall asleep and those issues so even like going down in the basement there's an exercise bike down there and I might get hype on it but
01:00:24
David Isaacs
I know I can always get off at any time and you know just watch tv or go lay in bed or go take a shower and I also know that it's always there so I procrastinate in thinking that you know I can get to it eventually I'll get to it later on but yeah that other part of like just going to the gym like I need to get out and do things you know and the the work that I get done in the office is a lot easier to get things done then it would be at home.
01:00:53
David Isaacs
You know, so I often save things that I have to do that week until I go into the office because I know I'll have something to do while I'm there. But the other part of that is being in the office and having nothing to do fucking sucks.
01:01:07
David Isaacs
So that's another part of it.
01:01:07
Brian Leithead
Wow Yeah, luckily I'm you know when they brought me on we they were so busy and we're still busy with just certain production aspects that Luckily I have something to to do every day but But yeah that that would definitely suck idle was it the idle hands or the doubles playground so get that out
01:01:31
David Isaacs
Yeah. Cool. Um, yeah, that's good to talk about these things. Good to talk to you here from you. And, uh, yeah, just keep working on, on these, uh, not only this, but other things. And, uh, yeah, I think we should be back next week.
01:01:52
David Isaacs
maybe expanding on this a little bit more or talking about some other things, things you noticed or other stuff that you're working on. I'm going to start trying to take notes.
01:02:04
David Isaacs
I tried last night and we'll see how that goes.
01:02:07
David Isaacs
As far as different things that I think about or hear about during the day, like my mind just runs a million miles a minute most days and it's mostly it's mostly on just bullshit like trying to like think about you know like recalling a ah Seinfeld scene or you know thinking about like fantasizing about like a stand-up set and like what I would talk about like you know the fact that I'm built like a rotisserie chicken or something like get people to laugh so that anyone knows like five foot four and like 185 pounds so that's something that I'm like trying to deal with but I imagine my body shape of like
01:02:52
David Isaacs
the in
01:02:54
Brian Leithead
I'm built Elon Musk. like Yeah, yeah, like where my, you know, I got a massive chest, but, you know, a a kind of bigger belly, small waist. So, you know, I look like a 1940s movie character where his pants are up to his waist and he's, you know, really a fat guy, but he's trying to look like a tough guy who just never worked out.
01:03:16
David Isaacs
Yeah, Elon above the belt, Hank Hill below it, basically.
01:03:22
David Isaacs
That's all right. You know, we're working on it, but that's the that's the issue, right? Years and years and years of
01:03:32
David Isaacs
It's it's not going to happen overnight, you know, with the ah But any of these bad habits, right, the alcoholism and the trials and tribulations that come with it and then exercise and my, you know, my, my problem of just like eating healthier, like it's a lot easier to go to the gym when, you know, you have a lot of protein and carbs that can support the energy levels you need for it. It's a lot harder when you're starting to starve your body of all the energy it needs and it has to produce it on its, on its own.
01:04:02
David Isaacs
But we're, um, you know, working on it one small step at a time. Don't want to take too much on at one time because then I think he just revert. But yeah, I'm not looking forward to the, uh, I love the fact that people are trying to change and work on themselves, but I'm not looking forward to the new year's resolutioners, the tourists of the gym, as I like to call them. I wish people would.
01:04:29
David Isaacs
understand a little bit more about their motivations and not just show up and try to do too much and then not be there a few weeks or a few months later. I think that just comes down to more education and more understanding. I know people here are like, oh, exercise, eat better, but then they just take on too much at once and crash.
01:04:52
David Isaacs
You know, it's easier to go to the gym the first time you feel good about yourself and then you try to do it the next time or the next time or doing too much weight or workout too hard and you know, you're sore for like a week and then you just, you know, revert back to what you were doing.
01:05:08
Brian Leithead
Yeah, Matthew McConaughey said on a podcast that the hardest thing about going to the gym is putting your shoes on. Um, I think, I think that's a pretty interesting quote.
01:05:15
David Isaacs
Yeah.
01:05:19
Brian Leithead
I mean, like, it's like one i i aspect, it's like, yeah, everybody has, always has the trouble of going to the gym for the first time. Um, but really just sticking with it until it becomes a habit, you know, is also the biggest thing.
01:05:31
Brian Leithead
So. Yeah, right on. I mean, putting your shoes on on a consistent basis, um, let alone the first time going to the gym or whatever, you know, it is you're trying to to work on is always the hardest part.
Pop Culture References in Conversations
01:05:41
Brian Leithead
So, and I think the, the biggest habit I'm trying to break besides my addiction is trying not to quote Wayne's world at wherever possible.
01:05:43
David Isaacs
Yeah.
01:05:53
Brian Leithead
Um, like my coworker was talking about playing, playing shows in Milwaukee and there's a Quote with Alice Cooper from you know, Wayne's world kind of famous of you know, he's saying Wayne goes so Alice you come to Milwaukee often he goes well, Milwaukee's had its share of regular visitors going to late as the 1600s where the French missionaries traded with the Indian or the Native Americans and then his bandmate goes well Alice isn't in a Milwaukee and Indian and he goes yes Pete it is anyway I can keep going but
01:06:29
Brian Leithead
I literally went on that and they looked at me like I was crazy and I'm trying to break that habit because it was one of my favorite movies of all time but I'm sure it is very annoying for other people to have to deal with that.
01:06:40
David Isaacs
Yeah, we were we're talking last night about the Troiders, the Tim Robinson show.
01:06:47
Brian Leithead
Oh yeah great show.
01:06:47
David Isaacs
And yeah, well, it was just like at SNL, Tim being a writer, you know, a lot of his sketches, his style of comedy, it was really before its time.
01:07:01
David Isaacs
And, uh, you know, he didn't last very long at SNL. He got picked up for Detroiters, which is hilarious. I mean, but still was kind of before its time. And then I think you should leave on Netflix really didn't come into popularity until season three.
01:07:20
David Isaacs
where people had kind of warmed up to this idea of like this, this certain style of comedy, right? And now people are like going and looking back and, you know, the way I think what they do so good at the sketches is they just like continue on it like they continue hammering down it's something that's like so
01:07:38
David Isaacs
like not very important I guess or like not really relevant to like what is happening so I think that style of comedy like yeah just going out on a tangent like talking about Milwaukee and you know like something that like shouldn't really even be very relevant to that scene or the movie in general or you know you're talking to Alice Cooper that's very knowledgeable about Milwaukee for whatever reason like I think that
01:07:50
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
01:08:02
David Isaacs
stuff like that is just like so much funnier to me and yeah, but I think the the the medium of The context of it too because I think like most people probably aren't you quote Wayne's world or you know You go off on a tangent about Milwaukee from the quote from Alice Cooper from the movie I don't think that it's really gonna jive with like a lot of people because I think the explaining the joke kind of ruins everything or like saying like, oh, it's from this.
01:08:34
Brian Leithead
Yep, yep.
01:08:35
David Isaacs
And they're like, oh, I haven't seen it. It's just like, oh, I'm just kind of deadens the entire mood.
01:08:42
Brian Leithead
Yeah, yeah, I was, well, him and I, you know, him and I will trade barbs about like movie or opinions of movies, you know, and I just kind of spiraled into And I think it's the, the I gotcha moment that I like to have sometimes. And that's maybe more of the underlying issue than anything. Um,
01:09:01
Brian Leithead
Yeah, it's, but yeah, it's totally not like it's, it can be total vibe killer, right? Like we're all talking about, you know, going to Milwaukee or Milwaukee versus Chicago versus Minneapolis, you know, whatever the case is. And I'm just like, Hey, I'm going to bust out this quote from this 32 year old movie. And they're like, what is wrong with you pal? And I'm like, I don't know. I try to, I don't know. I really don't know. I'm just trying to vibe in my own way. And it just doesn't always, uh,
01:09:31
Brian Leithead
It goes against the social grain of the conversation or something I'm just trying to work on.
01:09:39
David Isaacs
Yeah, I get it.
01:09:40
David Isaacs
I'll hold you to it. I'll have to, you know, there will be some punishment for any Wayne's World quotes said in this in these recordings.
01:09:49
Brian Leithead
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get to like a shock collar or something. And every time I talk about Wayne's World, you just hit it and I go, eat!
01:09:56
David Isaacs
Yeah, the shock collar thing, I think for the yeah, I think that that is a good idea probably wait until you know if we do gain any traction and some sort of following that would probably be a good one to have but I think it's good to I don't know if you have anything else I think we covered a lot it's been very it's been a good conversation I think and
01:10:01
Brian Leithead
Yeah, I'll...
01:10:12
Brian Leithead
Yeah, yeah.
01:10:18
David Isaacs
it's good to
01:10:22
Brian Leithead
it.
01:10:23
Brian Leithead
Uh, you know, I didn't have to pay $67 an hour or whatever it was for therapy. So thanks for that.
01:10:29
David Isaacs
Well, it's yeah, the like what you said, lesser help.
01:10:33
Brian Leithead
Yeah, exactly.
01:10:33
David Isaacs
You know, I think the just talking about things and, you know, expanding more on the, I guess the viewpoints on how I see myself, how I see the world and then your point of view on certain things.
Parenting and Personal Growth
01:10:47
David Isaacs
And it kind of helps because hearing about this stuff and then I'm like thinking like, Oh, you know, like,
01:10:57
David Isaacs
like when talked about like you never really know with other people right like you never really see it in other people like i said i mean we would join on zoom on wednesday nights or whatever you'd have a glass of whiskey like whatever we'd go to the movie theater you'd have a mixed drink or something you know like i said i mean like you never really know um not only with
01:11:01
Brian Leithead
Yeah, yeah exactly.
01:11:19
David Isaacs
in regards to alcoholism but I guess like with what other people are dealing with just in general so I try to be a better person but and when it comes to traffic or somebody driving like an idiot like that all flies out the window and I think I am vindicated in thinking so but maybe that is the toxic trait that I need to work on but other than that yeah I think the we don't really and i i the other We're never really going to talk about the inner workings, what we have going on. Like, you know, your closer friends you might hear like they've got, Oh, you know, like this happened or that happened. It's not like, Oh, you know, I'm not doing so great mentally or having trouble dealing with these things. And, but I do think the.
01:12:10
David Isaacs
at the end of the day like you the most time you spend is with yourself so it's it's worth a lot more it's like you know teach a man to fish type of thing but it's like you kind of have to teach yourself or at least try to look at yourself think about these things and it's it's a lot harder to like really find something that works for you in regards to dieting, how you're able to quit or limit your drinking, how you deal with social interactions, or how do you become a better uncle, brother, sister, mother, father, and things like that.
01:12:37
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
01:12:53
David Isaacs
So yeah, just continue on, continuing on. And, uh, yeah, just trying to get better, I guess for you too, you know, with having your wife and your son, you know, it's extra motivation to try to figure these things out, not only trying to be a good partner, but also a father and, uh, somebody that your son could look up to.
01:13:19
Brian Leithead
Yeah, I mean, that's, that's a primary, um, my, my primary motivation, you know, it sounds cheesy, but it's like, I don't want, I don't want to be like my dad who is verbally abusive and, you know, cause he had a temper, real bad temper stemming from a lot of physical and psychological things that happened when he was younger. Um, I could do an entire episode on that. Um, it just says whole family dynamic, but yeah, I just, I don't want to be that guy. Um,
01:13:49
Brian Leithead
You know, and I don't want to, that's something that they don't teach in high school, right? Aside from doing your taxes is how to function in the real world. So it's like I had a kid at, you know, when I was 30, um, leading up to that month, I was scared for my life up until, up until he was about one, I was scared to death of this kid and you know, I didn't know what to do. It was like I couldn't continue working the kind of dead end jobs that I was and being fine financially and mentally. So it was kind of just like a figuring out thing. And, you know, I understand why older generations or maybe
01:14:37
Brian Leithead
ah ah Physically abusive because they didn't know how to like talk their kid or you know They give them the belt or spanking or whatever I get I get why obviously don't agree with it, but I Get why they were figuring it out that's kind of where I am. I'm at and I'm talking to my son and Trying to be the best person I can I'm but just doing that I'm just figuring it out and doing things differently than my dad did so I
01:15:05
David Isaacs
Yeah, no, it's, it's good. I think the, I guess one of the harder things with parenting is dealing with like the parents that, you know, they might've acted a certain way, you know, if he was a kid, but now they're like, Oh, they want to be the cool grandparent or something.
01:15:21
Brian Leithead
Yeah, exactly.
01:15:21
David Isaacs
But. Yeah. And everyone's, everyone's got like, I try not to, you know, I have nephews, like try to be, say something about like how they should be. How you should be parenting them or whatnot, because the other, like we talked about you, like you just don't know, like don't pretend like, you know, like have the humility to know, like you don't know. Like if a kid acts out or they do something and someone's like, Oh, well, you should be doing this. Like why don't you don't, you don't know. Right. Like you don't know. Um.
01:15:52
David Isaacs
how ah ah developmentally, like how you should be parenting somebody, you don't know how the kid's going to grow up. Like, are they going to grow up with a ah good amount of emotional intelligence? Are they going to grow up to be, you know, a successful person or a respectable person or something like you're like trying to make a snap judgment about like some kid acting out and thinking that the parents should do something in a certain way. And I think the, you know, the joke's always like,
01:16:20
David Isaacs
oh yeah thanks for your advice by the way is your daughter still not talk to you like things like that but it is very weird like how you talk about your dad and i think we can probably next episode kind of just expand more on you know parents and whatnot but you don't really have
01:16:24
Brian Leithead
whoo yeah
01:16:37
David Isaacs
Like we were just talking about with close friends or whatnot, like you never really know, like no one really opens up to you in the way that really gives you a deeper look into their her motivations and whatnot. But you do have that with parents. And I think when you and the problem is, is that you're having to deal with their issues, you're having to deal with their insecurities or the ways that they the unhealthy habits that they have in regards to parenting. And look, I mean, parenting is tough for anybody. Like you want to be the best parent. You want to be doing this, but you also have other things that you deal with, you know, like with your job or the things that you have going on or finances or, you know, other things around the family that you're dealing with that some days maybe you're not going to be at your best. So maybe not given the most attention. Maybe there's some mistakes that you make along the way.
01:17:30
David Isaacs
But I think getting older and kind of, you know, understanding more of that of, you know, why they act a certain way, why they do these things. And I guess in the only if there's only one thing to take away from it, it's like just trying to be better or trying to understand, like, well, they're doing this because, you know, they had a ah rough childhood or, you know, maybe like their mom wasn't the greatest or whatnot.
01:17:57
David Isaacs
and kind of like trying to look at things like it's not your fault but you did have to deal with it growing up there's not really much that you can do to like help them out and maybe not exactly like forgiving i mean i haven't talked to my my stepfather in four years because he
01:18:17
David Isaacs
I'll go into it next week, but for you for various reasons, but yeah, I think they, and a lot of therapists, and the joke always is like, oh, it's always the parents' fault, but yeah, it it it is.
01:18:19
Brian Leithead
Yeah,
01:18:31
David Isaacs
You learn relationships from them, like how to interact in a relationship. You learn kind of what it is to be a dad or a mother. or what it is to work or, you know, doing things around the house. You know, you learn so much about like most of your childhood life is like just soaking up all this. You're soaking up so much information. A lot of it comes from your parents and what they're doing, you know, how they interact with each other, how they interact with their friends or
01:19:02
David Isaacs
how they work, what they do around the house, you know, in their own habits and whatnot, like learn behavior. Even if you're, you know, it doesn't feel like you're not actively taking notes and being like, Oh, I do this. When I do that, it's just, you know, you learn through them. And that's just how you go around your day. Like I was saying the thousands and thousands of decisions we make every day that are just unconscious.
01:20:16
David Isaacs
Yeah.
01:20:20
Brian Leithead
ah
01:20:21
Brian Leithead
No good reliable book and every kid is different. So, uh, but such is life.
01:20:28
David Isaacs
Yeah. You know, it's different every day or it might come to you with like some question you're not prepared for and not know how to answer it or, you know, it's just the chaos, the chaos variable
01:20:43
Brian Leithead
Yeah, absolutely.
01:20:44
David Isaacs
especially when they, you know, start getting older and start asking these questions or expecting you to know certain things or, you know, is it okay for them to have an iPad or, you know, are more involved online than like hanging out around the neighborhood or whatever else like Yeah, there's there's a lot of questions that don't really have answers. You can't really look any everything up. And even if you do, you might not agree with it. And ah yeah, it's I imagine. I imagine. Right. I have no I have no idea. And even if I was a parent, like, you know, I think there's more than one way to parent. I think there's.
01:21:22
David Isaacs
You know, generally healthier things that you could do in regards to parenting. But at the same time, like, yeah, I think you're going to slip. You can't be perfect 24 seven when it comes to being a parent. But I think the when you get older, you kind of you kind of look at things as far as like how your parents were.
01:21:41
David Isaacs
It kind of encompasses full circle, like not everything that was bad.
01:21:44
Brian Leithead
Oh, yeah.
01:21:45
David Isaacs
There were like some good lessons, some things that I had learned through there.
01:21:47
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
01:21:50
David Isaacs
And, you know, am I am I worse off than other people? Am I better off than other people? Should I be thankful for what I had? But also look at it as in like, you know, I messed up in this way. Somebody's messed up in a different way. We're all just kind of messed up to different differing degrees in different areas. Like, you know, it's it's hard to tell. But the only thing you can do is just, you know, work on things.
01:22:20
Brian Leithead
Yeah, um, Vince McMahon, um, you know, the, I guess, former CEO of WWF or WWE, um, would always in every interview and I'm a big, you know, nineties, early 2000 attitude error press.
01:22:37
David Isaacs
Let's preface this with Vince McMahon's terrible person.
01:22:38
Brian Leithead
You know, crack. Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:42
David Isaacs
Yeah, okay.
01:22:43
Brian Leithead
Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so for legal purposes, um, yeah, no, he's, Not a great person. Um, he is a great businessman. Um, but again, that's, that's a moral green line and that's a totally different conversation, but he always had a mindset of I'm always going to make mistakes. The thing that I do and maybe anyone, this kind of came up with this quote, but, or mindset of you learned from what you did wrong.
01:23:16
Brian Leithead
and then you just move forward. you You can't just sit here and focus on what you did wrong. You have to just keep moving forward. So I think that's the same for parenting. Maybe not necessarily from Vince McMahon, but that's kind of you mindset I want to adopt. I can't focus on what I did wrong. can only focus on what I learned from it and not repeat that same mistake and move forward.
Learning Through Experience
01:23:40
David Isaacs
Yeah, there's, you, you learn by doing right. And I think that, um, like you were saying, like panicking with having a sun come around or whatnot. and like, there's.
01:23:51
David Isaacs
Never anything that's going to really prepare you for things like that. And even with doing like the coding boot camp that we did or doing freelance website work or the job that you have now or even like with this whole podcasting thing is that we can't really practice. We can't really study like the inner workings of what we need to do. I think we just.
01:24:12
David Isaacs
get in, try it out, look at things that we want to improve on. Obviously, like the ums and the uhs and trying to be better in terms of delivering things. I mean, I know I've been rambling on a few different points today, but I know that's something that I need to work on. You know, smaller, not, not in terms of magnitude of being a parent, but yeah, the, I think that's one of the ah ah quintessential things with generation is looking at ourselves in a way that we want to continue being better at.
01:24:50
David Isaacs
And I think it it it gets muddier, you know, when you talk about relationships, when you talk about being a parent and like trying to figure out, you know, exactly what is right, or, you know, what sort of things that you wanted to instill in them, you know, for what do you want them to learn, what kind of person you want them to be. And yeah, I think the, it you know, it just continues on, you know, throughout life or whatnot, but I think the,
01:25:15
David Isaacs
I imagine, you know, my mom and I'm guessing my stepdad as well, even though I don't want him to probably loves talking about the things that I do and currently what I'm doing now and whether or not they want to take pride or credit in it and how much they're actually responsible for. um don't know. But and yeah, I think the just kind of
01:25:42
David Isaacs
fruits of your labor might be a good way to saying it, but just having the patience and knowing and every day is like just continuing like the, you know, these kids are just sponges for stuff.
01:25:44
Brian Leithead
Yeah.
01:25:55
David Isaacs
So it's like, you got to really be, be careful about these things or, you know, you have to continue to learn by doing or continuing like, oh, you know,
01:26:08
David Isaacs
I did something wrong, like get better at it. Like you were saying, I'm not, you know, talking at you, but like kind of talking with you, like thinking about these things. So I don't want you to think like.
01:26:16
Brian Leithead
Oh no, no, no, I got it.
01:26:18
David Isaacs
All right.
01:26:18
Brian Leithead
Um, all right.
01:26:19
David Isaacs
Well, we've made an hour and a half.
01:26:19
Brian Leithead
Yeah, that's good. Sweet.
01:26:22
David Isaacs
Anything else on your end?
01:26:24
Brian Leithead
Um, no, uh, you know, maybe you should sign off with, uh, make sure all your pets are spayed and neutered. Like, uh, my boy Bob Barker did, but other than that, I got nothing.
01:26:39
David Isaacs
Yeah. Show your pets are spayed and neutered. Um, be conscious of your nudity in the locker room at the gym. Cause most people probably don't want to see it. Uh, yeah. Keep working on whatever you're working on and, uh, you know, we'll talk to you next week.
01:26:57
Brian Leithead
All right, bye everybody.