The Art of Listening and Diversity in Reality TV

Transcript

Speaker: I want to help people.

Speaker: If I can sit down and talk to people and spend time with them, I don't need to be on the cameras and the front screen.

Speaker: But if the cameras and the TV stuff is going to get me to the point where I can do that, I'm going to surrender to that because I surrendered to that too.

Speaker: Because I wanted to do things my way before the show.

Speaker: It didn't work.

Speaker: You're listening to the Almost 30 Podcast, a lifestyle podcast hosted by Krista Williams and Lindsay Simczyk.

Speaker: Tune in for a new episode every Tuesday to hear our honest conversations about topics like wellness, entrepreneurship, spirituality, and self-development with guests who are really smart, really inspirational,

Speaker: And really fucking funny.

Speaker: It's real, it's raw, and it's unfiltered.

Speaker: Inspired by our transition from our 20s to our 30s, we realized it's so much more than that.

Speaker: Our mission is to provide you with the tools, guidance, and motivation to help you navigate any transitions in your life and propel your personal growth.

Speaker: Thanks so much for tuning in to the Almost 30 podcast.

Speaker: Here we go.

Speaker: Hello.

Speaker: Hello.

Speaker: Greetings.

Speaker: It's us.

Speaker: It's us.

Speaker: We've been recording quite a bit.

Speaker: We have been on the mic quite a bit.

Speaker: Have you guys ever like talked so much, maybe in a meeting or maybe you're talking a lot to like your family because you're home visiting and you just like get to the point where you're like blank.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: A little bit.

Speaker: I've been feeling like that.

Speaker: But you're like, I'm not blank.

Speaker: I'm just like... I've been feeling blank.

Speaker: Right?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Just a little blank.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I just feel like I need like to be around someone that's like really talkative so I can just be a listener.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's actually my dream.

Speaker: But I guess that's what we do in our interviews is listen.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: We talk though.

Speaker: But yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I totally agree.

Speaker: I enjoy listening more than talking I think.

Speaker: To be honest.

Speaker: Which is why I became a podcast host.

Speaker: Welcome to the podcast.

Speaker: If this is your first time listening to Almost 30, welcome.

Speaker: We're so glad you're here.

Speaker: If you haven't already, we're always going to plug it.

Speaker: The Secret Almost 30 podcast group on Facebook is such a supportive, loving, fun, vibrant community who just like... We're talking about being sick of our phones right now in the group.

Speaker: Oh, really?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I love that.

Speaker: Yeah, because I posted about it.

Speaker: I'm just so sick of my phone.

Speaker: I'm so sick of like always having a podcast on or music or always looking at it or just always like I was taking a shower yesterday.

Speaker: I was like, oh, I should put on a podcast before I get in the shower.

Speaker: Like just take a shower and be quiet.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: I'm kind of like an empty, not empty in a negative way, but I'm just kind of an empty person unless I have an input normally.

Speaker: Maybe it's because I force myself to be.

Speaker: So I was like seeking input to kind of like make me think or something like that just because I like to be stimulated in some way.

Speaker: So I've just been really sick of it.

Speaker: I'm sick of always looking at my phone.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: There's nothing there.

Speaker: Completely.

Speaker: Completely.

Speaker: I've been just noticing more now that I don't have my phone in my bedroom when I sleep.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I've just been noticing, like being almost hyper aware of like when I grab my phone.

Speaker: Yeah, man.

Speaker: Like why?

Speaker: And then I'm like, wait, I don't know why I'm grabbing it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Honestly.

Speaker: I haven't told anyone this yet.

Speaker: So the other day when we were working together with Aubrey, so we were like working for a few hours down in downtown Santa Monica and I had to leave to go to class.

Speaker: And I was parked in the parking garage across the street and

Speaker: And in those parking garages, I normally wait until I like I'm pulling out to pay.

Speaker: You can pay in the little machines before, but I don't.

Speaker: So I pulled up to the gate and I was paying.

Speaker: I owed $5 because we were there for a while.

Speaker: And then I leaned over to... I was rummaging through my bag to find my wallet.

Speaker: And for some reason, my foot came off the brake and I was just kind of gliding forward.

Speaker: I didn't realize I was because it was kind of slow.

Speaker: But it's like the end of my day.

Speaker: I'm a fucking moron.

Speaker: And yeah, I just snapped the gate right off.

Speaker: I snapped the entire gate off.

Speaker: I like that.

Speaker: I'm glad it wasn't a car.

Speaker: I snapped the entire car.

Speaker: Did you piece off?

Speaker: Did you piece off?

Speaker: So I pressed the call button.

Speaker: No one answered.

Speaker: And I was like, I got to get to class.

Speaker: So when the gate snapped off, there was this guy that was like, oh, shit.

Speaker: Shut up.

Speaker: He's like, oh, shit.

Speaker: He's like, I won't tell anyone.

Speaker: Free parking.

Speaker: Fuck yeah.

Speaker: I was like, oh.

Speaker: Oh my God.

Speaker: And so I like, I just kind of crept over the gate, like with my car and just left.

Speaker: I had so much anxiety.

Speaker: I literally thought eight cop cars were going to come out of nowhere and just be like, and like, go on me down.

Speaker: Of course it's filmed somewhere.

Speaker: But I'm like, this has had to have happened before.

Speaker: By the way, I'm like a criminal.

Speaker: I left the scene.

Speaker: I left the scene of a crime.

Speaker: This could be your last podcast.

Speaker: Well, I'm just wondering, I'm like waiting for something in the mail to come.

Speaker: Like a picture of me that was like, well,

Speaker: you know, I like that.

Speaker: I've like let it go.

Speaker: I had so much anxiety for the first 24 hours.

Speaker: Sure.

Speaker: I was like, Oh my God, like I'm going to get a call.

Speaker: But I called the parking structure place like five minutes after it happened.

Speaker: No one was there because it was like 530.

Speaker: I guess they were gone.

Speaker: And like, and then the next day I called again, no one answered.

Speaker: And so I'm, I'm done.

Speaker: Damn.

Speaker: You gotta let it go.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Free parking.

Speaker: I was like, yeah, man.

Speaker: But I completely broke it.

Speaker: I completely just snapped it off.

Speaker: I wish that they knew that you didn't mean to.

Speaker: I think they did.

Speaker: Of course.

Speaker: I hope.

Speaker: Like it was so dumb.

Speaker: It was just like... Yeah.

Speaker: Anyway.

Speaker: Fuck.

Speaker: So dumb.

Speaker: Rebel Without a Cause.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Well, Santa Monica Police, I know that you're listening.

Speaker: So Lindsay, I can give you her address.

Speaker: All the poes are listening.

Speaker: I know that they really enjoy our podcast.

Speaker: It's weird.

Speaker: Like we had a woman in SoulCycle, not in SoulCycle.

Speaker: She like walked into the studio.

Speaker: Long story short, she was...

Speaker: walked into the bathroom, went into the shower and was talking to herself and had a bottle of champagne and was just cuckoo crazy and was like drinking a bottle of champagne.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: She was like cuckoo.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I think, I don't know if she was homeless, but she was definitely wasted and just a little mentally unstable.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It was really sad.

Speaker: She walked into Seoul in Brentwood and then went into the shower and went into the shower.

Speaker: So yeah.

Speaker: So our staff had to like wait outside the shower until she was done.

Speaker: Oh, did she take a shower?

Speaker: She took a shower, but she was wasted and she dropped the bottle, cut herself and there was blood everywhere.

Speaker: And then she was running around the studio lobby like naked.

Speaker: Naked.

Speaker: I'm laughing.

Speaker: That's not funny at all.

Speaker: No, I mean, it is kind of funny, but they called the cops.

Speaker: The cops never came.

Speaker: Dude, cops don't give a fuck.

Speaker: That's why I was like, yo, if you come and get me for breaking the gate.

Speaker: Actually, I'm surprised in Bremwood, though.

Speaker: Fuck you.

Speaker: Yeah, I know.

Speaker: Dude, because, you know, cops are very picky and choosy about where they fucking go.

Speaker: It's weird.

Speaker: They go to the evening.

Speaker: They should have been like, hey, there's a naked woman running around the lobby.

Speaker: And they'll be like, right, I'll be right there.

Speaker: Pulled over Justin for not having a helmet on his bird.

Speaker: Oh, come on.

Speaker: My eyes are rolling in the back of my head.

Speaker: That's fucking heartbreaking.

Speaker: Wait, Justin's over 18.

Speaker: I thought it was under 18.

Speaker: You have to have a helmet.

Speaker: You always have to have a helmet.

Speaker: No one wears a helmet.

Speaker: He literally told him to fuck off and they didn't give him a ticket.

Speaker: He was like, I actually walk outside of my door every single day and see people shooting up in my driveway.

Speaker: And you're going to pull me over for a helmet on a bird.

Speaker: And I'm going like, good for Jay.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: I was like, that's hot.

Speaker: That's hot.

Speaker: Literally sticking to the man to me is, is hot.

Speaker: It is.

Speaker: Cause.

Speaker: Oh, that's heartbreaking for that.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But I can't be running around.

Speaker: This is all.

Speaker: I don't know, but when I was on my way to class, I was driving and I just saw this woman flipping the bird to the world.

Speaker: And she was like, ah!

Speaker: And I was like, oh, that's weird.

Speaker: It's Brentwood.

Speaker: You normally don't really see.

Speaker: You see crazies, but you don't see that type of crazy.

Speaker: And I was like, oh, that's weird.

Speaker: And she was dressed kind of normal.

Speaker: So I was like, oh, okay.

Speaker: And then she came in.

Speaker: Fuck.

Speaker: Fuck.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: It's kind of heartbreaking because you do want, you know, them to have access to like showers and shit, but I don't want to be running around naked flicking everyone off.

Speaker: It's kind of where we draw the line.

Speaker: Yeah, totally.

Speaker: It's kind of where I draw the fucking lines.

Speaker: I'm dropping off all of my, I have five bags of clothes and makeup and stuff.

Speaker: I'm going to the women's shelter tomorrow to drop it off.

Speaker: I cannot wait.

Speaker: I need to get out of my car.

Speaker: So good.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So good.

Speaker: It's so much shit for my move, but all right, y'all, I'm fucking excited about the episode this week.

Speaker: So excited.

Speaker: So we were talking in the secret Facebook group about, um,

Speaker: Fucking Bachelor Nation.

Speaker: Bachelor Nation.

Speaker: And we were talking about, I mean, so many people love The Bachelor, Bachelorette in the group.

Speaker: So many people that I know.

Speaker: I've watched it with friends.

Speaker: Can I be honest with you?

Speaker: I don't like it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And I'm not saying that because I was really excited to have Eric on because he's fucking awesome.

Speaker: Yeah, he's the best.

Speaker: He's so much more than just The Bachelor.

Speaker: But like, I'm just like, that's why this conversation is great because I'm just, I'm so curious.

Speaker: And it's like, I almost like don't judge the people that are on there.

Speaker: I'm almost judging the production company.

Speaker: I'm like, so what is this that you're trying to create?

Speaker: Because we've spoken to Brooks Forrester before and now Eric.

Speaker: And like, it's not very real.

Speaker: Yeah, that's the thing.

Speaker: So that's kind of what I'm like a little weirded out about, you know?

Speaker: I mean, they know the formula and they rock it.

Speaker: But it's interesting because the people that are from the Bachelor or Bachelorette usually afterwards are very honest about the process.

Speaker: Yeah, I love it.

Speaker: So I always find that very interesting.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: In a way.

Speaker: I mean, I have no, I think it's interesting and I do when I'm with friends and they're watching it, I do enjoy watching it because it's like something to talk about and it's very interesting.

Speaker: My dad watches it.

Speaker: It's more fun to watch with people because then you're like, oh God.

Speaker: Yeah, you're like, yeah, honestly, you're like, that's so fake or everyone kind of knows it's fake.

Speaker: But I mean, now it's kind of,

Speaker: I think it's kind of taken the shift where people are on it to start their careers in something else.

Speaker: Hey, power to you.

Speaker: Power to you.

Speaker: Do your thing.

Speaker: I mean, I could imagine that if they were doing the casting, how would they differentiate people that are doing that and people that aren't?

Speaker: Um, sometimes it's so obvious.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But yeah, you're right.

Speaker: I mean, I guess they don't know.

Speaker: They don't know.

Speaker: And it's almost better for the bachelor, bachelorette, if those people go off and do some stuff too.

Speaker: Like, I don't know.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's interesting.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But Eric's super cool.

Speaker: We actually were connected to him by Tiffany.

Speaker: So Tiffany is our sweet, sweet angel.

Speaker: And Eric has been on the show.

Speaker: He's been on some of the other shows related to that before he is a trainer and public speaker.

Speaker: And I also really wanted to talk about, and this is what we touched on too, is like the lack of diversity on those shows.

Speaker: So I think that's really important for us to just recognize.

Speaker: And I've always...

Speaker: thought about that too is that it's such an interesting dynamic that it's like it like I could imagine if I was someone of color or you know just someone that had diverse I guess was diverse or like Asian or Indian American whatever

Speaker: to look at that show and you're not seeing people that are like you, that look and feel and act like you, that are part of the formula.

Speaker: So it's interesting to kind of talk about that with him and see his perspective and then just hear his story and kind of get behind the scenes of what goes on in the show.

Speaker: So we have a lot of fun chatting with him about all of those things, all of the dirt.

Speaker: And you could find Eric on Instagram at Eric Bigger, E-R-I-C-B-I-G-G-E-R, Eric Bigger.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And we also answer all of your questions from the group.

Speaker: So stay tuned for that.

Speaker: Thanks so much for listening, guys.

Speaker: If you haven't already, subscribe, rate and review on iTunes, send episodes to your friends.

Speaker: People have been like prescribing episodes to friends for whatever they're going through.

Speaker: It's so sweet.

Speaker: So tag us on Instagram.

Speaker: We always repost.

Speaker: We always reply.

Speaker: Um, we're just excited to meet you on tour almost 30 podcast.com slash tour.

Speaker: We are in the middle of traveling and we just are obsessed with meeting you.

Speaker: So if you are close to a city, please come or tell your friends and we're adding cities as we go.

Speaker: Someone in the group, maybe it was a group.

Speaker: Keep hearing Charleston.

Speaker: Charleston and there was like Minnesota, St.

Speaker: Paul, because the girls were like, you know, I think if we can get a group together that's big enough, Lindsay and Crystal will come.

Speaker: I was like, I'm ready.

Speaker: We can come.

Speaker: Yeah, honestly, we'll come.

Speaker: We'll come.

Speaker: Just let us stay with you.

Speaker: Yeah, we'll have a sleepover.

Speaker: That'll be our event.

Speaker: All right, guys.

Speaker: Enjoy this episode.

Speaker: We'll catch you on the other side.

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Speaker: Eric and I have the same fucking birthday.

Speaker: That's the weirdest.

Speaker: That's the craziest thing.

Speaker: That's so real though.

Speaker: What do you know about being born on that day, you two?

Speaker: Dude, there's something... Can I say?

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Whenever I look it up in birthday books or there... I have this one card too.

Speaker: There's like...

Speaker: I don't know what it is, but it's like cards.

Speaker: So it correlates your birthday to a specific card in a normal deck.

Speaker: And ours is Ace of Spade.

Speaker: And like the Ace of Spade is like, literally I have it saved in my house.

Speaker: Hold up.

Speaker: What?

Speaker: I'll have to send it to you.

Speaker: So that's your birth card too, huh?

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: We're the same.

Speaker: Yes, it's yours.

Speaker: Ace of Spade.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: That's the most spiritual card in the deck.

Speaker: So we fight between the material and the spiritual.

Speaker: It's the best card in the deck.

Speaker: Oh my God.

Speaker: It's like basically like you're the best and life is like- And we try to master life.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: It's like life in like you're all about transformation and like all of that stuff.

Speaker: It is like, do you feel like you're like a Pisces?

Speaker: I am.

Speaker: I'm very emotional, but I'm so like, I'm all about evolving.

Speaker: Like my moon is a Sag.

Speaker: Like I'm all about growth.

Speaker: Like, and sometimes I think that I might get in the way of like relationships or people because...

Speaker: It's not that I don't spend time there.

Speaker: It's just like my mind is always on what's next.

Speaker: Let's evolve.

Speaker: Like, okay, I don't like stagnation.

Speaker: I don't want to stay the same.

Speaker: What do I need to do?

Speaker: Challenge.

Speaker: Like, don't spare me.

Speaker: Tell me what I need to do.

Speaker: You know, like, I need feedback because feedback is motivation.

Speaker: And constructive criticism is important if you want to transform.

Speaker: What have you found in like kind of dating, whether on shows or in the real world where like you're having these conversations or getting to know these women?

Speaker: Like what is kind of the block?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Well, I think the block for me is that, and I challenged this on a previous show I was on, but anyway, is I'm always on and I'm always giving.

Speaker: So when I'm having a conversation, I seek to understand and not to be understood.

Speaker: But most people...

Speaker: And when they talk, they want to be understood.

Speaker: So I think my challenge is, you're like, you're not listening.

Speaker: I'm like, I am listening.

Speaker: The only thing is I'm not listening to be understood.

Speaker: So I'm all like, oh, yeah, your birthday is March 9th.

Speaker: What day?

Speaker: What year?

Speaker: How did you feel about that?

Speaker: So I'm always in this interview therapist type of vibe.

Speaker: And when you're dating someone, that's not good.

Speaker: So I don't know how sometimes now I'm aware of it to chime in and relate like, oh, you know, I grew up, you know, tough childhood or whatever.

Speaker: I'm like, oh, you know what?

Speaker: Me as well.

Speaker: So it's like, I have to learn how to let people confide in me.

Speaker: I got confided in them so they can have the same benefit I get from helping them.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Because we all need each other.

Speaker: It's funny.

Speaker: You do the same because you don't share a lot, but you'll be very inquisitive.

Speaker: And I don't like when people ask me stuff about myself.

Speaker: And I'm not fucking kidding when I say that.

Speaker: Like that's a problem.

Speaker: And it's actually something I've had to work on too, is that people don't feel as close to me because I don't share a lot.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And I don't,

Speaker: I'm always asking people like, you know, I met a girl one time at a grocery store and she was like, oh.

Speaker: You meet a lot of chicks at grocery stores.

Speaker: Well, it's LA.

Speaker: Irwan.

Speaker: Dude, Irwan.

Speaker: It's just Whole Foods.

Speaker: So she was like, oh, what do you do?

Speaker: I was like, what do you think?

Speaker: So this one, I told y'all before we got on air about another one.

Speaker: I'm going to tell you about this other one.

Speaker: She's like, oh, you play ball?

Speaker: So I lied to her like, yeah, I play ball.

Speaker: So she goes deep into the conversation.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, we're teen.

Speaker: Right?

Speaker: So I'm like, oh, I play in Turkey.

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: That's a good one.

Speaker: And then she got to a point like, oh, where's your car?

Speaker: So my whole thing is, I'm like, what are you really asking?

Speaker: What do you really want to know?

Speaker: Because why are you asking that question?

Speaker: So I think what happens is in life, people ask questions, but they don't even know why they're asking the question.

Speaker: Like, I just want to have a conversation, but you're asking me a personal question.

Speaker: So what happens is if I ask you, oh, what do you do?

Speaker: I'm a nurse.

Speaker: So automatically you tell me you're a nurse, I'm automatically going to put that perception of what a nurse is to me and put you in that category.

Speaker: And that's not right because I'm not what I do.

Speaker: Just because I'm a trainer or a speaker, that's not who I am.

Speaker: So your perception of me like, oh my God, but that's not all of who I am.

Speaker: And that's what people mess up in the world because we're perceiving people based on what they do.

Speaker: But people based on what they do, they make that their identity.

Speaker: This is who I am.

Speaker: I'm an athlete.

Speaker: I'm a singer.

Speaker: It's like, no, you're more than that.

Speaker: And I always tell people, you don't get things in life because what you do, you get things in life because who you are.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: you know, and that's, but it's hard because no one's thinking that deep.

Speaker: But it's hard for you, like, or it's interesting because you essentially chose, like, you were on The Bachelor.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Is it Bachelor or Bachelorette?

Speaker: Bachelorette.

Speaker: And, like, that is, like, a number one opportunity to be judged on something.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So don't you feel like that's, do you feel like that's challenging for you?

Speaker: Because just like that girl at the grocery store where she has a perception of you and she's asking you these questions,

Speaker: Don't you feel like people have a perception of you based on that?

Speaker: I think people are going to have a perception based on anything because people are always going to think, they're always going to feel, and they're always going to judge.

Speaker: So I know I can't control that.

Speaker: But when I'm talking to people, I like to understand like, because people are like, tell me about yourself.

Speaker: What does that mean?

Speaker: What do you want to know?

Speaker: Like, just say it.

Speaker: Like with me, you can just say,

Speaker: I think you're full of shit or you're just too positive.

Speaker: I don't think you're real or whatever.

Speaker: So we can have a real conversation because I like to get to the root so you can, I don't like to give you a bunch of information and you just, you don't understand, you know?

Speaker: And so it's hard sometimes because like this past weekend, I went to EPLP, got a new show about to come out and I love people.

Speaker: I'm a people's person.

Speaker: But sometimes when I'm embracing that love that I have for people, but they have this perception of me,

Speaker: they take advantage of that.

Speaker: Oh yeah, it's cool.

Speaker: Let's get a photo, which I don't mind.

Speaker: But then it's like, give me your number.

Speaker: Let's hang out.

Speaker: Like it just becomes more and more because the perception of, oh, you're on TV.

Speaker: So you're this person to me in my mind because how I see you, but I don't even know you.

Speaker: And I'm being me trying to connect and be genuine, which is great.

Speaker: But then it can also backfire on you.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Because then it's like, oh my God.

Speaker: And it's like, ah.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: Because then there's a point where- You need a boundary.

Speaker: Yeah, where you create a boundary and then those who are not conscious are going to take that as, well, this guy's a dick.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: You know, when they could really say, oh, okay.

Speaker: Like, I get it.

Speaker: Like he kind of has a life in the public eye.

Speaker: I'm sure he just needs his time to like, you know, whatever.

Speaker: But yeah, that's hard because you do want to be yourself and you do want to be loving and you do want to be welcoming and treat everyone equally.

Speaker: We kind of experienced that.

Speaker: We're not at that level, but like, you know, cause we do want to interact with when we're on tour, we want to meet everyone and we want to give everyone time and love and our attention.

Speaker: you know, but sometimes just because of the run of show of our event, we kind of have to create a little boundary at sometimes because we need to like, all right, we got to get centered and grounded before we go on.

Speaker: So we got to like end this conversation, you know, it's a little bit of a dance.

Speaker: That's been my challenge too.

Speaker: Like even though I was on a bachelorette,

Speaker: It was like, damn if I do, damn if I don't.

Speaker: If Eric is not full of energy, happy, dancing, something's wrong.

Speaker: And if he's not saying anything, something's wrong.

Speaker: Like, no, I'm just zenned out today.

Speaker: It's early in the morning.

Speaker: I just woke up.

Speaker: I just meditated.

Speaker: I prayed.

Speaker: I'm not giving you everything you think you should give.

Speaker: And I think that's where...

Speaker: Was that like producers?

Speaker: Well, it's just people in general.

Speaker: I mean, if you see, you and I hang out all the time and I'm like, what up, baby?

Speaker: What's going on?

Speaker: How you doing?

Speaker: And you always see that side and then you see this other side.

Speaker: You're like, what's wrong with him?

Speaker: Nothing is wrong with me.

Speaker: I just have another side where I'm turned off and I just need to be inner.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: connected to me.

Speaker: Sometimes when I come home off the road from traveling or doing press or just in LA, I could just sit home in my AC, read, watch Netflix, just be by myself.

Speaker: I don't want to go out.

Speaker: I don't want to be, I don't want to have coffee.

Speaker: I don't want to go to a cafe.

Speaker: I just want to just be with myself because I'm giving so much.

Speaker: And I think that's also my challenge is how do I set these boundaries?

Speaker: You know, and how do I know?

Speaker: So it becomes a lot because it's overwhelming at times, especially when everybody wants your time.

Speaker: Everybody wants your energy.

Speaker: Everybody's looking.

Speaker: And then, you know, I get people DM me for advice all the time.

Speaker: Relationship advice, life advice, positivity, which is great.

Speaker: But me, I'm so cheney.

Speaker: I'm that guy.

Speaker: I got it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I'm like, all right, I got to take a step back.

Speaker: Like on my phone, none of my notifications on my social media is on at all.

Speaker: So I don't even know.

Speaker: I don't want to know.

Speaker: But it's part of the journey.

Speaker: It's part of my story.

Speaker: It's part of me talking about.

Speaker: And the funny thing is when I told you about the two young ladies that I met at Erwan before the other story, one of the girls said she wanted to be famous.

Speaker: Not famous, but she talked about it.

Speaker: And I'm like,

Speaker: But she didn't know what I did.

Speaker: But the thing is, I'm like, be careful what you wish for.

Speaker: It's not what you think it is.

Speaker: Nothing is what it seems.

Speaker: But people don't know.

Speaker: Because what they see, oh my God, this is nice.

Speaker: Like, it is nice.

Speaker: But it's different things that come with it that you would never think of.

Speaker: Yeah, I'd love to get into that in a moment, but I'm really curious about, have you always been so spiritual?

Speaker: Have you always been so conscious and like a seeker?

Speaker: Or was there a moment?

Speaker: My whole life.

Speaker: I was just like, you know what?

Speaker: I used to pray so much.

Speaker: What'd you pray for?

Speaker: You know, so growing up, I wasn't forced to go to church.

Speaker: You know, my family was Christians and you talk about the Bible.

Speaker: We never went to church every Sunday or was forced to.

Speaker: But I was just so curious about praying.

Speaker: Just like, I would just have something come over me, like pray.

Speaker: I think I was like 16 or 17.

Speaker: I would pray like whatever I needed, like protect me, you know, guidance, wisdom.

Speaker: As I got older, it would be different things.

Speaker: And honestly, everything I ever prayed for, I got...

Speaker: It was to a point when I was in junior college, before I would go to college, damn, I forgot to pray.

Speaker: As if somebody was holding me accountable.

Speaker: Like I had to, like you had no choice.

Speaker: And so that became a part of my journey.

Speaker: And then when I moved to LA, 22, fresh out of college, 2010, eight years ago,

Speaker: I was curious.

Speaker: So what did I do?

Speaker: Dove right into books.

Speaker: Think and Grow Rich.

Speaker: The Secret.

Speaker: And then I just started manifesting things and realizing how powerful prayer is for me and how it connects with who I am.

Speaker: And it's just, that's just been, I've always been curious.

Speaker: And I always knew it was something greater than Baltimore City because Baltimore City is a tough city.

Speaker: If anyone who watched The Wire, it's tough.

Speaker: And I played basketball.

Speaker: Basketball was my weapon because it kept me focused.

Speaker: It got me out of trouble.

Speaker: I made friends.

Speaker: And that was the vehicle that got me to, but I also did well in school.

Speaker: I was a nerd.

Speaker: Probably got one C my whole college career.

Speaker: So I love learning.

Speaker: And that just came everything else, the information, the books, going to seminars.

Speaker: I remember I went to a Bob Proctor seminar when I was like 23, make a million look smart.

Speaker: I met a guy who does numbers.

Speaker: I'm like,

Speaker: 22 is my basketball number and I see 11-11 all the time.

Speaker: And he sent me like this whole chart about numerology.

Speaker: And then like three years after that, I just tap back into it.

Speaker: I'm like, I know like the back of my hand.

Speaker: So I'm just very, very hungry for information and knowledge.

Speaker: But to talk about astrology, my Sag, I'm Mona Sag, and it's in a second house.

Speaker: So in your second house, second house meaning like security, money, like, so basically it shows you that's how you're going to make your money is teaching people, giving information.

Speaker: And me, I have, the way people see material things is how my information is.

Speaker: So say if you got Rolex, you got Mercedes Benz, you got a nice house, that's material.

Speaker: But to me, that comes in my information.

Speaker: Like the more information I have.

Speaker: Does that make sense?

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: Expand upon it a little more.

Speaker: So you know how people like material things like watches, clothes, jewelry.

Speaker: Like I guess you see wealth.

Speaker: He sees wealth and knowledge and information.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So I'm like that about information.

Speaker: Oh, got it, got it, got it.

Speaker: So you know how people work hard to make money to buy things?

Speaker: I work hard to go get information.

Speaker: Got it, got it, got it.

Speaker: That's what I correlate my possessions to.

Speaker: So I have so much of it.

Speaker: Sometimes it's a lot.

Speaker: You're rich as hell.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And I call it emotionally rich, you know, and that's, you know, not only information, but joy, peace, love, fulfillment, and finding that.

Speaker: And I think that's what everybody wants is emotional riches.

Speaker: They just don't know it because, you know, we're looking at wealth and opportunity like, yeah, I want these things, but that doesn't really make you emotionally rich if you're low or empty inside.

Speaker: And it's hard.

Speaker: Because everyone's living what the world thinks we should do.

Speaker: Call it conformity.

Speaker: Get a job with benefits, get married, go to school, graduate, be in this type of relationship.

Speaker: But when you learn to live from you, outside of you, it's scary because it doesn't make sense.

Speaker: But I tell people, follow your intuition.

Speaker: That's the highest form of intelligence.

Speaker: And that's why I moved to LA, because of my intuition.

Speaker: What did it say?

Speaker: Well, graduated college.

Speaker: Where's your school?

Speaker: Hampton University, MBA.

Speaker: My dad sat me down.

Speaker: Son, I want you to go to LA.

Speaker: My dad never sits me down to have conversations.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: Okay, that's one sign.

Speaker: I had a friend's mom who was giving me a graduation gift.

Speaker: Eric, I don't think you should be in Baltimore.

Speaker: I think you should go to LA, get on a career builder or something.

Speaker: They don't know each other.

Speaker: Odd.

Speaker: That's weird.

Speaker: I go back to school at Hampton.

Speaker: I apply for a job, LA Sports Marketing.

Speaker: Two months after that, I mean two months, I'm sorry, two hours after the application submits, you want to bring in for an interview.

Speaker: Third time's a charm.

Speaker: I had a graduation party.

Speaker: I booked a one-way ticket and I left.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: That was enough to leave.

Speaker: And it was the signs of life and my intuition telling me, like, go.

Speaker: But I didn't see that decision as a risk.

Speaker: It was just a decision as if I was going to college on the West Coast.

Speaker: But people are like, you're not ready to come home?

Speaker: No, for what?

Speaker: But they saw it as a risk.

Speaker: To me, it wasn't.

Speaker: But eight years later, I'm like, yeah, that was a risk.

Speaker: That's how everything else has happened.

Speaker: If I didn't take that and make that decision,

Speaker: we wouldn't be on almost 30 podcasts.

Speaker: I always think about that.

Speaker: I mean, if we always say like, if we knew how much work it was going to be these last two or three years, you know, like I wonder, we probably would have done it anyway, but you know, if you knew kind of like the risk you were taking, the work that it involved, the focus it took, it might spook you.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: I always say LA is like the bougie girlfriend.

Speaker: She's high maintenance.

Speaker: And back home, Baltimore is like the down to earth girlfriend who will never leave you.

Speaker: Because she's always so real.

Speaker: You can cheat on her all the time.

Speaker: She can always be there.

Speaker: She can always be home.

Speaker: You can use her car.

Speaker: You can cheat on her.

Speaker: She can always be there.

Speaker: How do y'all feel about cheating?

Speaker: Have y'all watched the documentary on Netflix?

Speaker: No.

Speaker: Which one?

Speaker: What is it?

Speaker: Monogamy.

Speaker: Cool.

Speaker: What do you believe in?

Speaker: So on a documentary, the name of it is Explained, I think.

Speaker: But it's an episode that talks about monogamy.

Speaker: Oh, I saw that series.

Speaker: Oh, you saw it.

Speaker: I didn't see that episode.

Speaker: But isn't it a series?

Speaker: Yeah, it's a series.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: So it's very intriguing on how as animals, apes, and all those things from beginning time, take you back to the BC era and how we…

Speaker: men were not to just one woman.

Speaker: It was just everywhere.

Speaker: And it was basically telling you how men operate, how they are, and what marriage was stemmed from.

Speaker: And the benefits of it was really to create like, you know, power, money,

Speaker: And then what they say in the video is that people make love and monogamy the same thing and it's not.

Speaker: So that's where it gets off because you're thinking love and monogamy is the same thing.

Speaker: And they said love is a feeling and monogamy is a practice.

Speaker: So it's not natural.

Speaker: And so that's where the information comes in.

Speaker: I think it's relative, but it's not for everybody.

Speaker: And I think this is what I believe.

Speaker: If you and I are dating, she's your best friend, right?

Speaker: She should join.

Speaker: No, but she sees me out talking to someone.

Speaker: And she say, girl, I saw Eric over there.

Speaker: That's fine, right?

Speaker: But if you and I have an understanding of what our relationship is, that shouldn't be her business.

Speaker: But in the media, the way the world wants it, you cheat, you commit, you're like... I feel like that's the foundation of people's relationship is cheating.

Speaker: Cheating, sex, and all those things is not the only gist of a relationship.

Speaker: But I think people put that... And so what I realized over this year...

Speaker: People don't love unconditionally.

Speaker: They love on conditions.

Speaker: Because the minute you go against what they believe is right, they don't love you the same.

Speaker: So it's not unconditional.

Speaker: And I don't think people, it's not that they don't want to love unconditionally.

Speaker: I think we're not trained how to do it.

Speaker: Do you love a person when they're at their worst?

Speaker: When they lie to you in your face?

Speaker: If they cheat on you, like more times than not, it's hard, but the feelings are there.

Speaker: So I just think,

Speaker: I think it depends on the person and how you were raised.

Speaker: Because I have friends who grew up, mom and dad still together to this day, 40 years, and they tried it, didn't work.

Speaker: Because they're trying to live up to the image of what they saw.

Speaker: And it's different for everybody.

Speaker: And men and women think different.

Speaker: And I think too, like when you've been doing the work that you've been doing and we've done some work with a friend of ours, John Wineland, who's been on the podcast, but to understand why people would cheat, you know, kind of lifts the veil or lifts the shame a little bit because it's,

Speaker: It's really like this opportunity, if you catch it before or if you catch it after, I do think either way, it's an opportunity for growth within the relationship or just growth individually.

Speaker: And hopefully then you can take it to your next relationship and

Speaker: and do better.

Speaker: But I mean, I've talked about it on the podcast before.

Speaker: I cheated on my boyfriend, a long-term boyfriend.

Speaker: Why do you cheat on him?

Speaker: Yeah, she's cheated on everyone.

Speaker: I cheat on everyone I've dated except for Justin.

Speaker: Why?

Speaker: I was no longer happy.

Speaker: He wasn't... I couldn't...

Speaker: feel us five years down the line.

Speaker: Like I was given no indication or energy that that's what he wanted.

Speaker: Granted, I was 23, like no emotional maturity whatsoever.

Speaker: So, um, would I do it again?

Speaker: No, because now I have the tools, you know?

Speaker: So I, I wouldn't have gone there, but I do know it was like definitely something inside of me pushing me to do this fucked up thing.

Speaker: But see, that's the thing is like,

Speaker: It's only fucked up if you don't address the situation because remember, it's all perception, right?

Speaker: Oh, that's such a bad thing.

Speaker: But if you look at the number like 69, right?

Speaker: Like the six is one way to nine.

Speaker: But if you flip it, it's kind of the same.

Speaker: But basically what I'm saying is that it's all perspective.

Speaker: Yes, in your situation, maybe it was a bad thing because based on your commitment, because what's commitment?

Speaker: Because I don't believe commitment is just one thing for everybody.

Speaker: And I think that's where it gets messed up because, but if our commitment is, listen,

Speaker: do what you do, I do what I do, but no sexual activity.

Speaker: Oh, you can flirt, you can do that.

Speaker: What if that's our commitment?

Speaker: Or, you have situations where people are not having the sexual part in their relationship, but the person is bringing home the money, is paying the bills, maybe that's their commitment.

Speaker: And so,

Speaker: I think I always ask people, so when you did that, how did that make you feel when you cheated?

Speaker: Did you feel good?

Speaker: Do you feel guilty?

Speaker: Like, are you glad you did it?

Speaker: Because it's like, oh my God, I needed that.

Speaker: In the moment, it's a high.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But like when he found out, I wanted to die.

Speaker: I wanted to actually die.

Speaker: You want to crawl out of your fucking skin.

Speaker: I was thinking about, who was I talking to?

Speaker: I was talking to my friend the other day.

Speaker: And I was like, the feeling when you get caught is like, oh my God.

Speaker: But, but in that moment, I got quote unquote caught.

Speaker: Or when you catch.

Speaker: He, it was like twice and he took me back, but there was no work.

Speaker: Like neither of us went in and we're like, okay, okay.

Speaker: Something's wrong.

Speaker: So tell me why he did that.

Speaker: He was just like, all right, let's just like get back in it.

Speaker: Like, you know, I love you at the core of it.

Speaker: And I was like, thank you so much for taking me back.

Speaker: You know, you don't even know why I was just like grateful that he took me back.

Speaker: And I wasn't like, oh, wait, like he doesn't even want to take the next steps to like evolve and learn what I was lacking or maybe what he was lacking.

Speaker: You know, there's something there too that it's like,

Speaker: you're being bad.

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: It's like, I'm bad.

Speaker: I got caught.

Speaker: And then the person that caught you and like thinks you're being bad wants to take you back.

Speaker: So you're like, okay.

Speaker: And like, you don't even, you know, process it that you like want to be taken back.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: But it's funny, like with polyamory and like, or like my perception and belief on like cheating is so different now.

Speaker: And like love, it's like, I just see that for like,

Speaker: I guess just from a different perspective where with cheating, I would totally like, I'm saying this now and I probably would burn the fucking house down, but like, I feel so much more open about it than I did before.

Speaker: And I can kind of see how you could have one experience with someone and still have years and years of love for someone.

Speaker: That's like a different type of love than just like a physical experience that you had.

Speaker: And with like having more than one lover, lover or something like that too, like,

Speaker: if you see love like a currency or being with someone like a bunch of people, like a currency, like you could fall in love with tons of different people.

Speaker: And like the capacity to love could be more than one person rather than just one person.

Speaker: So it's like, I could see why you could have multiple lovers or you could be dating a lot of different people.

Speaker: I do think it is hard.

Speaker: Like if you were with someone and you did have a committed relationship and like as a female, like you are,

Speaker: Facts are facts.

Speaker: Like if I'm pregnant and I'm having a baby, that baby, that's essentially, and I don't know this to be true, but I believe it to be true.

Speaker: That's essentially like a year and a half, two years of your life that you're for the most part, probably out of commission of like fucking around.

Speaker: I would assume like, I don't know.

Speaker: That's why in the documentary, they said when, uh, in each tribe, I think it was an Indian tribe when females are pregnant,

Speaker: all the men who have sex with her at the time when she's pregnant is considered the father.

Speaker: But the person is like, of course.

Speaker: Is it consensual?

Speaker: Yeah, but it's a tribe.

Speaker: It's like, in their way, you know, it just accepted.

Speaker: So basically they're saying they don't see a parent as one person.

Speaker: Everybody who's around is a parent at that time.

Speaker: So it was different.

Speaker: But I also believe that just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be with them.

Speaker: And to get back to the whole thing, what you were saying with your ex, I don't know if you still will, but I'm sorry.

Speaker: Cheating and then he took you back.

Speaker: But I think the challenge for men is that we don't know how to be vulnerable.

Speaker: We don't know how to talk.

Speaker: Because for me, men don't like when their girls cheat.

Speaker: But I'm like, they're messing around all day.

Speaker: I'm just saying they will.

Speaker: They will.

Speaker: And your girls sleep with one guy, oh, they go crazy.

Speaker: So what I learned is that I'm a type of person like, okay,

Speaker: My girl cheated on me.

Speaker: I'm going to like, I got to look at what did I do?

Speaker: Why did she cheat on me?

Speaker: I want to have that conversation.

Speaker: Babe, like, so was it because I'm emotionally not there with you or because I'm working so much?

Speaker: Is our sex not the same?

Speaker: Like, I'm going to really ask some real questions just to get to the root of what's going on.

Speaker: Or maybe we're just not there no more.

Speaker: Well, I love you, but maybe you don't love me the same.

Speaker: And for people on the other side that say, that's okay.

Speaker: As long as I know that, we can move forward.

Speaker: That's why any breakup or any relationship that didn't last, I know how to clean it up and deal with it because I get to the truth of it.

Speaker: I don't fight it.

Speaker: Like, man, your girl cheated on you.

Speaker: Yeah, man, I wasn't giving her what she needed.

Speaker: And not saying she deserved, I deserved to cheat him, but there was something I wasn't given.

Speaker: And I think that's what we got to do as people in all things is take responsibility.

Speaker: What didn't you do?

Speaker: Well, how could you make this better?

Speaker: Why is it not working out?

Speaker: And we fight it instead of just surrendering to the process.

Speaker: Like, oh, babe, you cheated.

Speaker: How does it make you feel?

Speaker: I feel great.

Speaker: You know what?

Speaker: I've been thinking about cheating too.

Speaker: You know what I'm saying?

Speaker: Then we come to a grieving like, well, maybe we need to be in an open relationship.

Speaker: Maybe.

Speaker: I don't know.

Speaker: Have you ever been in one?

Speaker: No, I don't really.

Speaker: I mean, I dated a lot, but I don't open relationship.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You wouldn't want it.

Speaker: No, I'll be open to it.

Speaker: Yeah, because it's like, I understand people so much that I get that we're flawed.

Speaker: We're not perfect individuals.

Speaker: So I have to look at it from both angles.

Speaker: I always put myself on the other person's foot.

Speaker: What are they dealing with?

Speaker: What are they lacking?

Speaker: What happened in that moment?

Speaker: And so being in the position I am in, I can see how women and guys can make decisions that go against what they have.

Speaker: And when it comes to energy, you can't deny energy.

Speaker: Like you can, I could be with someone, a relationship can be great, everything from, but in my mind, if I see someone who energy, intellect is like, oh my God, I can still feel like,

Speaker: man, I would want to, not saying I will do it, but for a man, I think, a man can go do that and not feel anything and still, that's, I think that's the difference between men and women and not saying women are not like that.

Speaker: But, you know, but it's all about communication, man.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: And just being honest and just like, listen, you know, I'm not used to being with just one person.

Speaker: And I love you so much.

Speaker: Can I give y'all the story on my aunt?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I'll give you the story.

Speaker: So it was on my podcast.

Speaker: So my aunt, she's the breadwinner in the family.

Speaker: Went to Columbia undergrad.

Speaker: Went to Harvard Law School.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: She's a lawyer.

Speaker: She consults for big companies.

Speaker: She's known to Obama's, but she was married for 25 years.

Speaker: You know, her husband went to John Hopkins undergrad and then went to Harvard Medical School.

Speaker: So he became a doctor.

Speaker: She became a lawyer.

Speaker: They got these big degrees, right?

Speaker: Had a kid, whatever.

Speaker: Live in Newton, Massachusetts, in a big old house.

Speaker: One of the nicest cities in America.

Speaker: Safe.

Speaker: 25 years, right?

Speaker: So when I first met my uncle, this was when I was in the ninth grade.

Speaker: They flew me up, I visited.

Speaker: I was like, man, my Uncle Mike is a little different, you know?

Speaker: Is Uncle Mike gay?

Speaker: Like, I would talk to my cousin about that, you know, not her son, but my other cousin.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: He's like, I don't know, man.

Speaker: I thought the same thing or whatever.

Speaker: Four years later, they split.

Speaker: So she gave the story on my podcast and she said, my husband was such a great individual, a great husband to me, a great person to me, that he was so good.

Speaker: One day he came to her and said, I love you.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I love our relationships.

Speaker: I love our life.

Speaker: I love what we have, but I love myself more.

Speaker: And,

Speaker: Right?

Speaker: So he decided to go and he was dating the guy.

Speaker: So that has to crush someone.

Speaker: For your husband or wife at the time to go and cheat with the same-sex person, right?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Same, different.

Speaker: Or gay guy, right?

Speaker: Yeah, gay guy.

Speaker: Okay, sorry.

Speaker: So, and he's married to the guy now.

Speaker: So the thing is, what she said was,

Speaker: His deposits in a relationship was so good that that one withdrawal didn't make him a bad guy.

Speaker: Because he came clean.

Speaker: He was honest.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: And it was like, it just gave you a different perspective on how communication and how life works.

Speaker: And she said, and so I asked her, how did you get over it?

Speaker: She said, well, I went to therapy and I weaved and I cried.

Speaker: She said, I didn't want to be a bitter woman about it.

Speaker: And she got to a point where she's like, well, I'm going to stop crying.

Speaker: You know?

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But it just shows you that the compassion she had for him, not judging him, just accepting him for what he felt or whatever.

Speaker: And they're great friends to this day.

Speaker: They talk and they have a son who's a grown man and they're doing fine in both their careers.

Speaker: But that's a situation that that sounds like to me that will be in a movie.

Speaker: I'm pretty sure there are things out there like that that you don't know about.

Speaker: But that just shows you like if you communicate effectively to your partner and have those deep, crucial, intimate conversations, things might change.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Or if you come and say, babe, I think the bedroom, let me just spice it up.

Speaker: And I say, I don't know.

Speaker: I'm not into that.

Speaker: And then you go and cheat.

Speaker: Well, you had a conversation with me.

Speaker: So I'm not saying it's okay to go do that, but you made me aware as a partner.

Speaker: Yeah, I think a lot of times women assume that you should know.

Speaker: That's a very big generalization, but I'm going to speak for myself.

Speaker: Test.

Speaker: Yeah, we kind of test.

Speaker: So like, you know, like he should know that I need this.

Speaker: He should know I got my hair cut.

Speaker: You know, he should know that like this feels good to me and why isn't he, you know what I mean?

Speaker: So...

Speaker: I think, yeah, to your point, it's all about the communication, over communicate, especially, and I'm learning this too, like in the beginning of the relationship, like I don't give a fuck if I freak someone out anymore.

Speaker: I'm just like, I just want to express to you exactly how I'm feeling or what I need or want because then we can start a conversation.

Speaker: Otherwise I'm in my head thinking like, well, is he ever going to do this?

Speaker: Like, I just, well, I'm going to give him a week and then

Speaker: Send him on his way.

Speaker: Like, I just, I don't care anymore.

Speaker: It's just overly communicate and you're going to attract the people that are going to have that conversation with you.

Speaker: I don't play no games.

Speaker: Yeah, just be direct.

Speaker: I don't spare.

Speaker: I mean, it's so simple where people, you'll be looking at someone, they might have a boogie in their nose or a booger and they won't say anything.

Speaker: And I'm like, I'm that person like, yo, you got a boogie there.

Speaker: No, thank you.

Speaker: Like, I'm not going to be sitting in your face and not tell you.

Speaker: But people won't because I don't want to say that.

Speaker: I don't want to be.

Speaker: Well, why not?

Speaker: How do you move forward from that if you don't talk about it?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's why I feel about cheating, too, is like the same as your aunt.

Speaker: Like if you were with someone for five years or something and they cheated, it's like that two hours of cheating or however much.

Speaker: time of cheating can't negate five years of happiness if you guys were experiencing happiness.

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: You can't look at it that way.

Speaker: But it's hard.

Speaker: Like, I mean, I've been cheated on too.

Speaker: Like, I think I've been cheated on like a zillion times and it's like,

Speaker: It is like when you find out, you know, it's like a dog with a bone.

Speaker: Like you spend the rest of your months like looking like I just would look all day.

Speaker: Like I would wake up, look, wonder, like go talk to my friends about it.

Speaker: Look, wonder like it's the most like heart wrenching thing because you don't really understand it.

Speaker: So I think having the ability and opportunity now for people to understand why it happens and

Speaker: what to do about it and like how to process it is such a gift because I wish I would have had that too, to understand that like I was only hurting myself by looking and by like creeping or like grabbing the phone or you know what I mean?

Speaker: Like doing all that kind of like snooping thing because you want to find out more information and you want to like better understand and you want to kind of like victimize yourself or whatever.

Speaker: How does that like translate or did you, did you have this sense of relationships and communication?

Speaker: I assume before you were on the bachelorette, like what was the, what was like the lessons happening?

Speaker: Like when you were on there, I can imagine that, you know, I think, I think for me on a show, cause I fell in love for the first time on TV.

Speaker: Shut up.

Speaker: For real.

Speaker: First time.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: So, I'm very, very in tune with myself.

Speaker: So, it was a point in the show.

Speaker: We have a therapist on the show, right?

Speaker: Oh, you do?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So, they like, they do.

Speaker: Are they on camera?

Speaker: No, you don't ever see them.

Speaker: Okay, okay.

Speaker: So, you go see them if you're dealing with something because it's a lot.

Speaker: You know, we take a- It's a lot.

Speaker: Like a 600 question test, like just to make sure no one's bipolar.

Speaker: It's a lot.

Speaker: They do a lot.

Speaker: You take drug tests.

Speaker: You get tested.

Speaker: Like, they do their thing.

Speaker: But-

Speaker: It was a moment where it was hometowns and I was telling Rachel, I love her.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: But when I said, I love you, I would back it up.

Speaker: We're like, yeah, I love you.

Speaker: And I care about you so much.

Speaker: I kept making it.

Speaker: So dropping it.

Speaker: I love you.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And so that was like, listen, females, women, if they need a question about something, they will actually don't have to explain to them.

Speaker: So I was so afraid.

Speaker: And so I was like, why do you think I'm that way?

Speaker: She was like, yeah, because you're afraid of rejection.

Speaker: And also you talk a lot because when you were young, you stopped talking.

Speaker: There was no one to talk to.

Speaker: You were lonely.

Speaker: I was like, oh, wow.

Speaker: So I don't like when there's space.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I don't like the... Like, even in my podcast, like, I don't know how to take a pause and, like, just... There was almost a second and you asked a question.

Speaker: It was... I noticed that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I was like, no, not... Not, like, in a bad way.

Speaker: I was like, oh, that was interesting, like... Yeah.

Speaker: Because that could have been a pause, but you, like, caught it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And so then what happened was I sat with myself and my intuition...

Speaker: It's like, because in my mind, I was like, I'm here.

Speaker: I'm even going to go all the way on that at all.

Speaker: I'm all in on that.

Speaker: I don't have to tell anything.

Speaker: Same.

Speaker: So I would tell the producers, listen, you see me bullshitting or you see me BSing?

Speaker: Check me.

Speaker: Don't spare me.

Speaker: You see me running from love?

Speaker: Check me.

Speaker: So it was to a point where I had to come to myself and say, listen, E, you got to surrender to love, bud.

Speaker: You got to surrender to it.

Speaker: Stop fighting it.

Speaker: So he was in Spain.

Speaker: It was like two in the morning.

Speaker: We in an alley.

Speaker: And I'm talking to the producer, Louis.

Speaker: And I'm like.

Speaker: You like cool with him?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: This is my guy.

Speaker: He actually is the reason of it's miracle season.

Speaker: Oh, cool.

Speaker: He was the one who told me like I kept standing in the trailer before I went on the after final row.

Speaker: He's like, you should drop it.

Speaker: He's like, listen, man, you're making strides, my boy.

Speaker: It's miracle season.

Speaker: You made it.

Speaker: And I'm like, man, this is so surreal.

Speaker: Like what's going on?

Speaker: How am I in a trench coat with a suit on in the middle of Spain too in the morning?

Speaker: He said, man, all you, buddy.

Speaker: So we go.

Speaker: And this is the moment where I'm like, I got to confess my love without the extra stuff, you know?

Speaker: So, you know, this is fantasy suite night.

Speaker: I'm talking.

Speaker: And then I said, Rachel Lindsay, I love you.

Speaker: And then I paused.

Speaker: And I literally felt something leave my body.

Speaker: I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker: Like, I did it.

Speaker: I got my miracle.

Speaker: Like, it was just like...

Speaker: That was the whole purpose.

Speaker: So it wasn't about me ending up with her.

Speaker: I served my purpose.

Speaker: She allowed me to open up and be vulnerable with women because I couldn't with my mom because my mom was never there emotionally.

Speaker: So I never knew how to.

Speaker: So the show forced me to open up and just be more vulnerable about what I really feel.

Speaker: Instead of hiding behind it or acting like I don't feel that way.

Speaker: Totally.

Speaker: And it was just so beautiful.

Speaker: And so we had a fantasy suite.

Speaker: The next day, we were just like, oh, we got to do B-Roll.

Speaker: I was like, man, I don't care what we got to do.

Speaker: I was just like, and I think in my mind, I thought I knew what success was, love was.

Speaker: I had this ideal of what love was.

Speaker: It's this big, massive.

Speaker: And when I got that love, I was so happy, but it was so subtle.

Speaker: It was like priceless.

Speaker: It's like,

Speaker: Even when I went home, it was such a beautiful moment.

Speaker: I can remember it like it was today.

Speaker: But it was like, it's hard just playing.

Speaker: It's like, how?

Speaker: I was like, if you only knew.

Speaker: Like my whole body, everything transformed.

Speaker: Like I changed, like completely my eyes.

Speaker: Like I knew I fell in love.

Speaker: It was just like, but I allowed myself to because I surrendered to just letting it come into my life.

Speaker: Just let it in.

Speaker: Don't fight it.

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Speaker: Love ya.

Speaker: You physically allowed yourself and gave yourself the opportunity to love.

Speaker: You were the one that created the feeling of love and that allowed yourself to love and that saw that person in that way.

Speaker: And if we're all connected and we all are one, you are essentially loving yourself enough to like love someone else.

Speaker: So your capacity to love is only expanded by finding another person or seeing yourself in another person.

Speaker: So that is like, I mean, were you able to process that yourself?

Speaker: Because that's like next level.

Speaker: Because, yeah, so for me, a lot of people are like, are you heartbroken?

Speaker: I was like, I really wasn't.

Speaker: That's crazy.

Speaker: I think before the show, my heart was broken.

Speaker: Because when I wanted my mother to love me the way I thought, she didn't give it to me.

Speaker: So you know what?

Speaker: I became everything I wanted.

Speaker: I knew how to listen to people.

Speaker: I knew how to love the people.

Speaker: I knew how to give people.

Speaker: So I knew how to give love.

Speaker: I was afraid to receive it.

Speaker: Like, no.

Speaker: So when I would date women, they were like, you don't need anything.

Speaker: Because I would never ask women to do anything for me.

Speaker: And you would never give like space or pause.

Speaker: No, I would control everything.

Speaker: I would just do.

Speaker: And I was cutting the middleman.

Speaker: I like, let them do that.

Speaker: And I was like, I don't want a woman to feel like she's doing more than I am for me.

Speaker: And it's just mentality I had because of what I didn't get.

Speaker: And then once I opened myself up and allowed that love in, I'm like, oh, wow, this is beautiful.

Speaker: I feel great.

Speaker: But it was so hard because of my mentality and my perception of what love was.

Speaker: I didn't understand love before.

Speaker: That's why I didn't, was open to receive it.

Speaker: You know, I was like, eh.

Speaker: But I could have been in a relationship so many times, but I knew I was selling if I was in that relationship.

Speaker: People are like, how do you know?

Speaker: I was like, I just know.

Speaker: Because it goes back to me, I'm always about growing.

Speaker: And I think some people, it's not that they don't want to grow.

Speaker: They're not going to grow as rapid as I am.

Speaker: If I get some information that I need to grow, oh, I'm going to apply right now.

Speaker: What did you say I did wrong?

Speaker: Okay, we're going to put that to use right away.

Speaker: And so I don't know.

Speaker: I just, like, I'm just a different person.

Speaker: Like, when I think about stuff like you just said, I process it all.

Speaker: I put myself in a scenario.

Speaker: I think about it.

Speaker: And I really get to that root.

Speaker: Like, oh, wow.

Speaker: That's, okay.

Speaker: You know, then I'm understanding my energy and how I come off the people and what the impact it's making.

Speaker: And, oh, okay.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: That's why.

Speaker: So when you were on the show, like, was it hard to, like, connect with the dudes?

Speaker: Because were the dudes like you?

Speaker: Like... You know, see, that's the thing.

Speaker: Like, you know, I get along with everybody.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So I know how to adjust and deal with any and everybody, even if they're, like, negative, bad, bad energy.

Speaker: I got along with everybody.

Speaker: I mean, me and Lee had a moment, but I forgave him.

Speaker: I didn't really care after that.

Speaker: Like, you know, I just told him, keep my name out your mouth and we'll be fine.

Speaker: But, I was cool with everybody.

Speaker: Because my whole, my intention with people is to seek to understand.

Speaker: I'm always about understanding you.

Speaker: So if,

Speaker: a Donald Trump or someone who's just whatever, say whatever you want.

Speaker: I'm like, okay, where's that behavior coming from?

Speaker: I'm asking questions to get to the root of where's all that?

Speaker: How was you raised?

Speaker: What did you believe growing up?

Speaker: Or they give me information.

Speaker: Oh, he don't know better.

Speaker: And if he does, he's just so caught up in that vibration that he can't even break it.

Speaker: So let me just have a little bit of compassion for him and just...

Speaker: He's cool.

Speaker: As long as you don't endanger me or affect what I got going, I just try to love everybody unconditionally.

Speaker: Even if they mean and nasty to me because that's not really them.

Speaker: That's coming from a fearful place, not a loving place.

Speaker: But I love people and I want to help people.

Speaker: So if I can only help people who are in a good state and who are positive, but I can't help a person who's wounded and negative and drama, then I can't do what I really want to do.

Speaker: Because how do you deal with someone who doesn't believe in anything?

Speaker: How do you deal with someone who doesn't care about living?

Speaker: How do you deal with someone who's wounded and got suicidal thoughts?

Speaker: Like, how do you deal with these people?

Speaker: So I'm the guy where I want to figure it out.

Speaker: Not for them, but so I can understand how to move in that space if someone needs my help.

Speaker: But if I'm just closed off, like, you know, there's some people I probably won't give much energy to because they're negative, but I still accept who they are as a person.

Speaker: and understand everybody has a story.

Speaker: That's why I try my best not to judge people.

Speaker: I love how you said you weren't heartbroken.

Speaker: I just think that takes so much, I don't know, lack of ego and also just like separation from like what you think the whole bachelorette thing is and like taking everything that's coming at you as for you and just, I love that.

Speaker: And before we began the podcast, I know you were saying, you know, sometimes the show would tell you to tone it down and not get too deep.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: No.

Speaker: Like, when they were doing the interviews?

Speaker: Well, no.

Speaker: It's like, so, a lot of times when I was on a bachelorette, you know, several people were like, you're just too intense.

Speaker: I'm like, too intense.

Speaker: You need to relax.

Speaker: I'm like, what?

Speaker: Meanwhile, girls are like, it's funny because they'll pray for people like you, right?

Speaker: I want them to understand and communicate.

Speaker: And then when they get them, or even guys will encounter guys like you, and they just, it's a mirror.

Speaker: Because they're like, oh, I'm not like you.

Speaker: Because it's foreign to them, but it doesn't make sense.

Speaker: And so now having that information, I'm aware of it when I'm giving it what it's doing to them.

Speaker: So my whole thing is what I'm doing wrong that I think when I'm having conversations is that I get to the deep stuff too fast.

Speaker: So I might get to, hey, how's your heart?

Speaker: Feel that.

Speaker: Like, oh, damn.

Speaker: How about how are you today?

Speaker: What's going on?

Speaker: Like, relate.

Speaker: But if in my mind, I got a perspective of, okay, we're here to talk about this problem.

Speaker: I don't want to have no small talk because we only hear about the problem.

Speaker: But sometimes with some people, you got to massage that area and to get to the bottom.

Speaker: So that's where.

Speaker: And but in my mind, I'm not trying to not be deep or be deep.

Speaker: I'm just, this is me.

Speaker: And so that's when I realized like, oh, I am a deep person naturally.

Speaker: And for some people, they're not used to that.

Speaker: So it was all about just understanding, like I said, how I come off.

Speaker: And, you know, what I will say on the show, I realized that I was different.

Speaker: And I think, and misunderstood, and I felt that my whole life, I always try to fit in.

Speaker: But it's okay to stand out.

Speaker: And me getting the love on the show, that's how I know my heart was fulfilled.

Speaker: My dreams came true.

Speaker: Always wanted a podcast.

Speaker: People pay me to speak now.

Speaker: You know, I have more of a following.

Speaker: You know, I'm going to like children's hospital, giving back stuff I always wanted to do has came true.

Speaker: Like dreams do come true all because of love.

Speaker: That's what I was lacking in my heart.

Speaker: What was like, what brought you on the show?

Speaker: What was your original intention?

Speaker: It was just... Was it just curiosity?

Speaker: No, I mean, a friend of a friend who works in a production room.

Speaker: I was like, oh, they're casting for the show.

Speaker: What do you want to do?

Speaker: It was literally a screenshot text message of a Facebook page of casting for The Bachelorette.

Speaker: And I was like, sure.

Speaker: I went on an audition.

Speaker: Drew and I was dressed up and we had one and they moved me forward right away.

Speaker: We like you, you're going to move forward.

Speaker: They asked about, you know, relationship and whatever.

Speaker: And it just felt right.

Speaker: Intuition again.

Speaker: It was all about a feeling, but more so I had to realize I couldn't say no to it because it's like, why is this opportunity in my life?

Speaker: That's what I was curious about.

Speaker: How did I attract this and why?

Speaker: I never thought about I was going to fall in love.

Speaker: I never thought I would go to six countries.

Speaker: And I always wanted to travel.

Speaker: Never thought about fame, being on TV.

Speaker: Like, I was just like, why am I here?

Speaker: The first two hours in the mansion, I didn't even drink.

Speaker: Because I was just like in my head.

Speaker: So much.

Speaker: Then I was like, all right, you got to drink, brother.

Speaker: Because you're just thinking too much.

Speaker: But that curiosity got me to falling in love.

Speaker: Because I wasn't into Rachel when I first met her.

Speaker: I mean, she was cool, but I'm like,

Speaker: But over time, they also show me about dating.

Speaker: Yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker: If I was dating her outside of the show, after the first date, we wouldn't have went on the second date.

Speaker: Because we just didn't have that connect.

Speaker: It was just like she was cool, but she was like the homie.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You know?

Speaker: But I realized things take time.

Speaker: So if you're listening, it's okay.

Speaker: The first date is not no sparks there.

Speaker: Give it some time.

Speaker: Give it two or three more days.

Speaker: She's staring at me and I'm not going to look over.

Speaker: What do you think, lens?

Speaker: Yeah, I know.

Speaker: I've learned that too.

Speaker: Because everybody's different.

Speaker: Yeah, it's hard in this world because... It's hard when you know what you want outside of life.

Speaker: Like you are 100% confident in most of the decisions you make outside of life to not have that initial spark.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: To know exactly what's... You know what I mean?

Speaker: Well, I think like you, I have this sense of, I just know.

Speaker: But I've definitely been surprised.

Speaker: Yeah, because here's the thing.

Speaker: I'll give you the flip, right?

Speaker: So me, when I'm really into women, like, y'all really like her.

Speaker: Oh my God.

Speaker: Like, it's like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: And it's like, no.

Speaker: And then the women, I'm like, she's cool.

Speaker: I'm not really.

Speaker: Maybe the one to be like, damn, I actually like this girl.

Speaker: It's the reverse.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Because I don't know what that is or what you call that.

Speaker: But what I'm like, maybe it's infatuation.

Speaker: Maybe it's less.

Speaker: I don't know.

Speaker: But when I'm really into a girl, I'm like, she got the looks.

Speaker: I'm like, oh, she's perfect.

Speaker: And I'm excited.

Speaker: It never pans out.

Speaker: But when I'm not as excited about this.

Speaker: It fizzles on your end or her end?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I just think maybe both of mine for sure.

Speaker: But I feel like when I'm really not into the girl, but we cool, we get along, we hit it off.

Speaker: I don't know.

Speaker: Those be the ones like, yeah, she might.

Speaker: She got it.

Speaker: That's low reveal.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Interesting.

Speaker: It's funny you talk about the being deep thing and those deep conversations too because I feel like I've spent my whole life being like that.

Speaker: Being kind of like...

Speaker: finding the purpose of every interaction and the purpose of every conversation.

Speaker: And I remember having a really hard time in like high school and college because I always wanted to be deep and I felt like no one was.

Speaker: I always wanted to get really deep, but it's almost like,

Speaker: And I've realized now that like I kind of like shy more away from that.

Speaker: And I do enjoy like small talk conversations because it does like warm people up and massages them into like having a deeper conversation.

Speaker: And a lot of times like now I just try and like I have my deep side, but also I try and like focus on my playful side, which is like staying super light and kind of like making a joke and laughing of things.

Speaker: But I mean, I completely understand where you're coming from.

Speaker: Like I felt like I've been like that my whole life and like,

Speaker: I'm still like that where every interaction I feel like I need to find a purpose in, which is kind of like a problem sometimes because sometimes the purpose isn't directly for me.

Speaker: You know, obviously I'm getting something from it.

Speaker: You know, there's a exchange happening, but sometimes there's, I'm not, this isn't for me.

Speaker: Like a conversation or an interaction or learning isn't my learning.

Speaker: Might be someone else's and I might be facilitating that.

Speaker: So I often think about that.

Speaker: The one thing I want to talk about too.

Speaker: So when you were doing the interview process and you're kind of going through this, like, what did, like, how did you think about being black in this process and like the lack of color and like the lack of diversity?

Speaker: Like what kind of conversation were you having in your head there?

Speaker: And then when you came on the show?

Speaker: That's a great question.

Speaker: That probably is, yeah, that's a great question.

Speaker: Because, so a few outlets asked post-show about it, but it's never in my mind been a black thing with me.

Speaker: Because growing up, I got along with everybody.

Speaker: And here's the thing, people who are African-American, black, whatever you want to call it, right?

Speaker: If you got personality, you can play a sport, you got talent, you accept it.

Speaker: So you don't deal with resistance.

Speaker: Damn.

Speaker: That's tough.

Speaker: That's true.

Speaker: So when I went to Colgate University, I shared a speech, right?

Speaker: Black Student Union flew me out, whatever.

Speaker: We did a boot camp of their speech and my topic of conversation was universal human.

Speaker: And so the school is 97% white, 3% black, if I'm correct.

Speaker: It's more... So the black kids there, they're not as talented or athletic or don't have the pizzazz or the charm or the personality or outgoing, maybe more introvert and just more intellectual, but...

Speaker: they don't get the same attention and they're not as accepted.

Speaker: That's the struggle.

Speaker: So I never had the resistance of those things.

Speaker: I never thought about it.

Speaker: But I will say when I moved to LA, there was a guy named Frank Crosby.

Speaker: He told me, don't get caught up in black Hollywood because you're a human being before you're anything.

Speaker: So I took that intention.

Speaker: Like I'm not black, I'm a human being.

Speaker: So when you have that intention in your mind, at least for me, when I go out in the world, I'm not going to attract just people.

Speaker: What, you know, someone black might think about it on a track or like, because my vibration, my vibe is not even sick.

Speaker: I'm not even putting that out.

Speaker: Oh, I'm this, I'm that.

Speaker: But I am aware of it, that I am black because you see the difference, you see the resistance.

Speaker: So it's just, but if we break down the stats, you know,

Speaker: You know, blacks are, if I'm not mistaken, 12 to 13% of the population.

Speaker: Whites are 31, 33%.

Speaker: So we're really not the majority.

Speaker: We are the minority.

Speaker: So you got to look at it as they're not a bunch of black people.

Speaker: Much as we want.

Speaker: And there's a difference and we don't like that.

Speaker: But that's the fact.

Speaker: But I also think I don't believe in dividing us.

Speaker: I don't know if you heard a guy, Gary Zukav.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: And he got a book called Seat of the Soul.

Speaker: Seat of the Soul.

Speaker: You know, girl.

Speaker: Okay, it's a great one.

Speaker: And he talks about community.

Speaker: He's like, just being in your community is not community.

Speaker: Being in a community is being in all communities.

Speaker: 100%.

Speaker: And that's where I got Universal Human from.

Speaker: And that's what I believe in.

Speaker: Like, look at Drake, for instance.

Speaker: He's a great rapper.

Speaker: He was on the grassy.

Speaker: But people love him everywhere.

Speaker: But he's considered black, right?

Speaker: He's a universal human.

Speaker: And that's what I, not saying I want everybody to be, but just be aware of that people are different.

Speaker: People think different.

Speaker: How about you take what they have and use for your own?

Speaker: I know a Jewish girl.

Speaker: She's about 25.

Speaker: She said when she was young, her mom, her granddad, that for birthdays and holidays would buy her stocks and bonds.

Speaker: She have a stock portfolio for $50,000.

Speaker: Where I come from, that's unheard of.

Speaker: We're not even thinking about that.

Speaker: But now that I'm part of her vibe and what she got, I have that information now.

Speaker: That's why I read books and educate yourself is so important because now you have new information that you wouldn't have got in your community.

Speaker: You're open to different.

Speaker: And I think when you're open to different and accepting different makes you a better person and disposes you to, oh, this is your perspective growing up.

Speaker: This is my perspective.

Speaker: Oh, wow.

Speaker: I didn't look at it like that.

Speaker: Thank you.

Speaker: Then you can have more compassion for a person instead of saying they're wrong.

Speaker: You don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker: No, they actually do.

Speaker: That's just how they see it.

Speaker: And being okay that there's different to yours.

Speaker: And I think that's what people are afraid of is being different.

Speaker: And because I was afraid of being different.

Speaker: I wanted to fit in with my friends and I wanted to take them everywhere.

Speaker: And I just didn't have the capacity or the tenacity to do the things I was doing.

Speaker: So you know what the universe, you know what God did?

Speaker: You got to go to LA because I was such a friend.

Speaker: Like if my friends were incarcerated, who's coming to see them?

Speaker: Who's sending them money?

Speaker: So I was taking on everybody's burdens.

Speaker: I had to get away.

Speaker: So it's, but the answer to the black thing, I didn't think about it at the time, but no, a year and a half later, I see there, there is a divide and there is a difference based on contestants and myself.

Speaker: Oh, you would be the first black bachelor.

Speaker: Okay, cool.

Speaker: And how it's such this big thing, which I get.

Speaker: But I just think everything comes down to understanding, education, and having compassion for all people.

Speaker: Instead of pointing a finger, just understand who you're talking about and who you're talking to because you don't know their story.

Speaker: You don't know what they've been through.

Speaker: Why is this person that way?

Speaker: And maybe that's too much energy to go research and get, but I'm just curious.

Speaker: So I always try to catch myself.

Speaker: Why do you do that?

Speaker: Well, why?

Speaker: But people just, they don't do that because they're not trained to.

Speaker: Yeah, and that's why I feel like the public isn't trained to think that way.

Speaker: So they just go the easiest route.

Speaker: And the easiest route is to not have like a diverse of a cast or people on the show.

Speaker: Yeah, because it's like when you think of most people, what can I say most people?

Speaker: When I say some people look at black men, say, for instance, my type, athletic, tall, have a look or whatever.

Speaker: You're even an athlete, you're an entertainer, or you're a model or actor.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Those are the categories because that's what they show on.

Speaker: You don't never.

Speaker: There was a guy.

Speaker: I won't say his name.

Speaker: There was a guy on the Winter Games who was a friend of mine.

Speaker: He's black.

Speaker: He's a lawyer.

Speaker: One of the guys on the show was like, oh, man, you a lawyer?

Speaker: I didn't think you were a lawyer.

Speaker: I thought you was a football player.

Speaker: You know, it's like, do you hold the guy who said that accountable?

Speaker: He shouldn't have said that, but it's how the world is perceiving blacks.

Speaker: They don't perceive blacks as accountants, lawyers, doctors, surgeons.

Speaker: You don't see that.

Speaker: Even in movies, you know, Black Panther, great movie.

Speaker: But what are black people doing?

Speaker: Fighting each other for power.

Speaker: Why do we always got to be showed in a physical, dominant way?

Speaker: Look at LeBron James.

Speaker: He's more than an athlete.

Speaker: Look what he's doing.

Speaker: But they don't show that enough in the world.

Speaker: Why?

Speaker: So all you have is that image of a black person.

Speaker: So is it really the white person or the other person's fault?

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: it's just I feel like in the moment do you do you have that conversation with someone who does say oh I thought he was a football player like where are the opportunities to kind of show yeah not show is the wrong word educate educate or just like in a nice way it would just be like a question like why did you think that where did that perception come from

Speaker: But no one's in a moment going to think that fast to have that conversation.

Speaker: I just wonder what someone would think.

Speaker: Hey, what do you think I do?

Speaker: And they'd be like, marketing.

Speaker: Yeah, you should do that.

Speaker: That should be when you go out.

Speaker: That should just cold call it and just do it.

Speaker: Yeah, I think they'd have an assumption of what I do based on being blonde and blah, blah.

Speaker: So I kind of wonder that too.

Speaker: Yeah, and it's just like, why do you think that?

Speaker: Where are you getting those thoughts from?

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And why do I have to just be that to you?

Speaker: And I just... What I see as is a control thing for people who are controlling the world.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And that's what I think the minorities, blacks are dealing with is that it's not that they don't have the money.

Speaker: It's not that they don't... It's just like they're not getting the same opportunities because of their perception.

Speaker: You know?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And that's why it's important that they would have more...

Speaker: Indian people on the show.

Speaker: Asian people.

Speaker: Asian.

Speaker: Like, has there been... Well, this is... John Graham.

Speaker: Shouts out to John Graham.

Speaker: The guy who helped create Venmo.

Speaker: He's on Paradise and he was on Becca's season.

Speaker: It's just... Damn.

Speaker: But he's one of... Thank you, but one.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: One.

Speaker: I think it was Danielle L. I mean, I think she was like...

Speaker: Asian American.

Speaker: But that's how it starts to like break the stigma or whatever.

Speaker: You know, if you go on the show and say you are in software sales for Baltimore.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: It's like, hey, I'm Eric.

Speaker: I'm in software sales like full blind.

Speaker: It's like, oh, I thought he was this, but he can also be this.

Speaker: You know, it's kind of like starting to break down the barriers there.

Speaker: But I think we know where it starts at is media.

Speaker: So have you seen Get Out and have you seen Sorry to Bother You?

Speaker: I haven't seen Sorry to Bother You.

Speaker: So these movies are very like...

Speaker: about discrimination, like, life, people, whatever.

Speaker: So, and those movies, you get out, those movies are great.

Speaker: but there's no solution in the movies.

Speaker: We're making people aware of what's going on, but what's the solution?

Speaker: It's true.

Speaker: So I think people should create movies and content showing minorities in a different light other than just, oh, he's an athlete.

Speaker: He jumps out the gym.

Speaker: Oh, he's an actor.

Speaker: Oh, he's a rapper.

Speaker: He's like, show them being lawyers.

Speaker: Show them.

Speaker: But so what happens in the community, like someone like Baltimore, reading books and education is not cool.

Speaker: Having a lot of money, having the girls, taking shots, getting drunk, smoking weed.

Speaker: That's cool.

Speaker: So no one's... Because your role models are... Yeah.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: That.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So it's like, it's not cool to get information.

Speaker: That's why I think for me, for some people, it don't make sense because it's like, oh, where are they?

Speaker: Because I have a lot of information, but yet I can do the cool things too.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's why I told Rich on the show, I'm a cool square.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I can be whatever I need to be for the moment because I have exposure and information.

Speaker: And I think that's where the neglect is, is that people don't have information, people are not aware, and it's just, that's wrong, this is not right, and no one's willing to be open to seeing a different side.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: But, you know, it's all information and awareness.

Speaker: But it doesn't have to be so, but it's so deep and so many layers.

Speaker: And if you go in these communities and you see this stuff people deal with.

Speaker: Girls like on a show, she's like, you should put on sunscreen.

Speaker: You should put on, you need, because you don't want to get skin cancer.

Speaker: I'm like, hmm, I hear you.

Speaker: I said, but check this out where I'm from.

Speaker: People are not worrying about sunscreen or skin cancer.

Speaker: They're trying to survive.

Speaker: When I was 15 to 16, I was shooting the basketball in 100 degree weather because I thought I was going to the NBA.

Speaker: My mindset is not even thinking about that stuff because it's for what?

Speaker: Like what?

Speaker: I'm trying to make it.

Speaker: perception.

Speaker: And you just living your life and being you.

Speaker: And I think you're right.

Speaker: Like this is to be in the public eye and a part of your purpose, like is to be that new age role model for not only your community in Baltimore, but like the world community too, you know?

Speaker: That's what I want to do.

Speaker: In the back end of it all, that's what I want to do.

Speaker: I want to help people.

Speaker: If I can sit down and talk to people and spend time with them, I don't need to be on this camera and a front screen.

Speaker: But if the cameras and the TV stuff is going to get me to the point where I can do that, I'm going to surrender to that because I surrendered to that too.

Speaker: Because I wanted to do things my way before the show.

Speaker: It didn't work.

Speaker: So now I just let the universe bring you.

Speaker: Okay, cool.

Speaker: Almost 30 podcasts a day.

Speaker: I'm going there.

Speaker: They want me on it.

Speaker: Okay, I'll go there.

Speaker: I don't fight it.

Speaker: I say yes and progress.

Speaker: I think LA is just such a beautiful place for that.

Speaker: Because there's just a lot.

Speaker: It's so random.

Speaker: It's so like, I don't know.

Speaker: Everyone's kind of doing that in their own way, I think.

Speaker: Which is just so cool.

Speaker: It's almost like you have the permission to do it.

Speaker: There's not like this super judgment happening.

Speaker: You just kind of go and do it.

Speaker: You know, you got to just use what you have.

Speaker: Because sometimes you got to sit down and ask like, well, how many people doing this?

Speaker: You know, a friend of mine told me this the other day and it kind of hit me hard.

Speaker: He said, E, do you not know how people see you?

Speaker: I'm like, what do you mean?

Speaker: He said, well, let's look at it from a black person standpoint.

Speaker: You're probably the only black guy role model out there that people look at in a positive way who's African-American.

Speaker: that's pushing what you're pushing.

Speaker: No one's really pushing that.

Speaker: You're positive.

Speaker: You got a look going on.

Speaker: You're on a good show.

Speaker: You got this good persona about you.

Speaker: Like, it's not many black young men your age that's like that.

Speaker: So, people look for that.

Speaker: Especially in a, you know, a black guy, if that's what they, you know.

Speaker: I was like, damn, I never looked at it like that.

Speaker: I looked at it as this is who I am.

Speaker: But we don't have that.

Speaker: I mean, we have athletes.

Speaker: We have rappers and,

Speaker: But outside of the Eric Thomas, the Will Smiths, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, you know, bless their souls, but where's the leaders?

Speaker: Barak, baby.

Speaker: Barak, you know, I love Barak.

Speaker: So it's, it's tough, but it's life.

Speaker: You just figure it out.

Speaker: And I just think it don't have to be so hard and so harsh because the way we take it on as a community is like we take it on like, because it's always something, you know, or,

Speaker: it's just, it's hard to explain, but if you're in it, like sometimes I wish I had like a movie that I can like film so people can just see it from my lens.

Speaker: Like, look at this person, look at this person.

Speaker: Like I was in Westlake one time and I didn't have a haircut.

Speaker: Like my beard was like all like grown out and I was in Westlake and I came up to like, it was a bunch of kids and someone running a little kids camp.

Speaker: I said, you know, the funny thing about this, Westlake, I'm probably fine.

Speaker: But if I go in like a different neighborhood looking like that, you know, it probably won't be fine because of the environment.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: Imagine if that lady was in a tough community where it was violence and I came up on her and like, hey, she would be probably a little, but because I was in Westlake, it's nice.

Speaker: Oh, you out here?

Speaker: So that plays a role in life too, your environment, the energy you live in.

Speaker: It affects your mood, your thoughts, what you believe.

Speaker: It's tough, but other than that, man, we're here.

Speaker: Be more as low vibe or high vibe.

Speaker: Low, for sure.

Speaker: I'm from Cincinnati.

Speaker: Oh, Cincinnati's crazy.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And the thing is, people always say, Baltimore is bad.

Speaker: And I was like, well, it's not Baltimore.

Speaker: So it was the behavior there.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Where did that behavior come from?

Speaker: Who started that behavior?

Speaker: It came from somebody.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's why I was, when you talk about slavery, I like to get to the root.

Speaker: Like, what was the turning point where someone said, I'm going to oppress someone and make them feel like they're nothing?

Speaker: Like, where did that start and why?

Speaker: Was it over money?

Speaker: Was it it was a power?

Speaker: What is inferior?

Speaker: But why?

Speaker: What was the turning point?

Speaker: Can we, is that a record book that's at this moment?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Because this person thought, that's what I be thinking about.

Speaker: I know I probably never get that answer.

Speaker: Like,

Speaker: And I'm like, okay, once you get the power, once you get the money, why still oppress someone?

Speaker: Make them feel like you see these police shooting and killing people.

Speaker: And it's just like, because they're in fear of the perception of the person and not even the truth of the person because of the stigma that was created about that thing.

Speaker: That's not all the way true.

Speaker: That's why they need more exposure to that.

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: Like it's heartbreaking.

Speaker: It's like,

Speaker: They just need more exposure to different people and different opinions and different situations.

Speaker: And that's why travel is so important.

Speaker: But travel is not accessible for so many people.

Speaker: So that's why sometimes TV becomes the outlet, you know, for people to experience other.

Speaker: But then the media is so crooked sometimes.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: You know.

Speaker: Look what they show on the news.

Speaker: I was listening to Oprah.

Speaker: She's like, I do not watch the news at night.

Speaker: I do not have that going on.

Speaker: No, no, I don't even watch it, which is maybe irresponsible, but I just can't even take it.

Speaker: Yeah.

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Speaker: My friend's boyfriend owns, he has a farm for weed.

Speaker: So he's in the weed business.

Speaker: He did medical marijuana and now he's moving into recreational marijuana.

Speaker: So he has a farm.

Speaker: It has like maybe $3 million worth of weed, which is kind of like not even that much for a weed farm, but that's how much his business was.

Speaker: Recently, he was raided by police.

Speaker: who like cited something, but basically took all of the weed and that's happening up and down the coast of California.

Speaker: And they're like, it's a conspiracy theory and take it as you will.

Speaker: But like it's of the belief that like police are taking it and either like selling it themselves or like using it as a way to like sabotage too.

Speaker: And I was like thinking, I mean, I was told one story and I didn't even like, I was thinking about it all night.

Speaker: You know how much police been killing, harassing just people in general like that?

Speaker: My dad was in the streets.

Speaker: He was like, son, that's been happening for years.

Speaker: 100%.

Speaker: What was that one?

Speaker: There was one mafia documentary.

Speaker: It was really good.

Speaker: It was about the four mafias.

Speaker: I forget where they were.

Speaker: The four largest mafia gangs.

Speaker: And then it talked about the relationship that they had with cops and how they worked with cops and stuff.

Speaker: That stuff's fucking crazy.

Speaker: It was just like...

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Like you can't trust anyone.

Speaker: I had a family member at one point.

Speaker: They were paying the police a thousand a week just to leave them alone.

Speaker: There you go.

Speaker: I mean, that's because at the end of the day, you got to trust people, not systems people.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's a good one.

Speaker: If I got a hundred million on my account and you're my accountant or my banker, I got to trust that you're not going to go and tell your best friend, yo, I saw so-and-so's bank account.

Speaker: Look what they have.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: So trust more times than not, which is weird, can be more important than love.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: You know?

Speaker: And that's the scary part, but that's the truth.

Speaker: You got to trust people.

Speaker: Should we get some of the questions?

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Our group has some questions.

Speaker: Our group has a lot of questions.

Speaker: Sorry.

Speaker: I kind of wanted to know what you did at the end of your day.

Speaker: On the show?

Speaker: No.

Speaker: Just here in life.

Speaker: Oh, I'm always like curious.

Speaker: Like, I'm sure you're running around all day, right?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But like when you get home, like kind of what is your...

Speaker: Because every day is so different for me.

Speaker: I might go home, be on Instagram.

Speaker: I might go home and watch a documentary, fall asleep.

Speaker: A lot of times I'd be so tired.

Speaker: I just knock out.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Or I might eat.

Speaker: You know, when I was younger and I didn't have so many responsibilities, I made sure every night I prayed.

Speaker: Like every night I had to pray.

Speaker: But sometimes throughout the day, I'm just very, my attitude is gratitude.

Speaker: I'm just so thankful.

Speaker: You're praying all day.

Speaker: I'm just praying throughout the day.

Speaker: And I'm just like, you know what?

Speaker: Wow, I'm here.

Speaker: How did I get here?

Speaker: And it's different every day, though.

Speaker: Do you guys know your personality type?

Speaker: no but someone was talking about what the 16 questions 16 personalities yeah so I'm an ENFP so I'm like extrovert intuitive feeling projecting so with these people yeah that's probably me we're very we can feel the energy of the room like when it comes to things like I can be scattered I can be everywhere like all over the place so I really need structure

Speaker: So every day is just, I'll be doing a podcast, maybe watching my phone.

Speaker: You know, I'll just be doing a lot of things at once.

Speaker: Totally.

Speaker: So I realized that about myself, but it's, every day is different.

Speaker: It's good to know your personality so that you're not judging.

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: Like sometimes I get frustrated with myself, but then I'm like, oh, that's just me.

Speaker: Yeah, that's just me.

Speaker: I get like days I get lazy sometimes.

Speaker: I'm like, I'm not like that.

Speaker: I'm like, it's just me.

Speaker: Or when I give speeches, I can't write a speech down and talk about it.

Speaker: Like I have to like bullet points.

Speaker: I speak off the cuff.

Speaker: Like once I know what I'm talking about, like, all right, cool.

Speaker: Yeah, I can't like write it and then no, it's just like, and I just go all in.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: This is from the group Fantasy Suite.

Speaker: Yay.

Speaker: First one.

Speaker: Hey, baby.

Speaker: Is it like, is it the first night you guys are able to spend together?

Speaker: Yeah, without cameras, yes.

Speaker: Oh, you're allowed to spend the night together with cameras?

Speaker: Without.

Speaker: Without.

Speaker: Yeah, without cameras.

Speaker: So anything goes.

Speaker: Okay, you can do whatever.

Speaker: Do whatever.

Speaker: Up to you and a person.

Speaker: Does it make you feel weird that she's been in with other guys?

Speaker: No, I'm not.

Speaker: That's another thing too.

Speaker: People, listen, there's no competition other than yourself because you can't be another person so you can't compare yourself to another person.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: Did you witness other guys crumble because they were?

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You high-fived him when you left.

Speaker: How real is it?

Speaker: It's very real.

Speaker: But the thing is, that's what I tell people.

Speaker: I can't speak for others.

Speaker: I can speak for myself.

Speaker: My experience was very real and very impactful and emotional.

Speaker: Because you allowed it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But when you get to the end, I mean, even if you try to run from it, it can catch you.

Speaker: You know, so it's real.

Speaker: Sure.

Speaker: Fucking love that.

Speaker: Did you get any Botox or anything before you went?

Speaker: Botox?

Speaker: Did you like, did you like work out a lot?

Speaker: Hilarious.

Speaker: I love them.

Speaker: I'm a fitness trainer by trade.

Speaker: So, I mean, my body was very important to me.

Speaker: So, my body is my business.

Speaker: I always worked out.

Speaker: What did you eat and stuff when you were there?

Speaker: Do they provide you with the... Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Great food.

Speaker: Steaks, mashed potatoes.

Speaker: When we're in the house, they bop.

Speaker: Whatever you eat.

Speaker: Put it on a list, we go get it.

Speaker: No.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Gummy bears, Oreo cookies, tea, eggs, salmon, whatever you want.

Speaker: We will get it.

Speaker: So we ate good.

Speaker: Champagne.

Speaker: Would they make you drink?

Speaker: Not make you, but whatever.

Speaker: I mean, you want to.

Speaker: Why are you just sitting there talking about your feelings all day?

Speaker: Yeah, dude.

Speaker: That's the thing that would be… So like, did you and her ever like laugh and shit?

Speaker: Yeah, all the time.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: You know, there's so much… But it wasn't on TV?

Speaker: I mean, you got to edit.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So it was only, you got to fit 30 or 20 people in the fin.

Speaker: So it was a lot of great stuff that didn't come on the show.

Speaker: Like, I did her Life Path number.

Speaker: They didn't show that.

Speaker: Oh, cool.

Speaker: I did a joke on her.

Speaker: So there's a joke I have.

Speaker: And I asked a person, I was like, do you speak a different language?

Speaker: And they say, no, do you?

Speaker: And I said, I actually do.

Speaker: she said, what is it?

Speaker: I said, I'm bilingual.

Speaker: I said, what is that?

Speaker: She said, what do you speak?

Speaker: I was like, body language.

Speaker: And then she started flipping like, oh, that was a good one.

Speaker: But they didn't put that in there, you know?

Speaker: It would have been cool, but you know, they got to make the show.

Speaker: I get it.

Speaker: That's what I always like think.

Speaker: I'm like, oh, like he's the deep one.

Speaker: Don't, don't let him be funny.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I always just, I'm like, they're not laughing.

Speaker: Like laughing is just like, that's all I want is to like laugh all day.

Speaker: What's it really like in the house on a day-to-day basis?

Speaker: Just you talking about your feelings, you drinking, playing cards.

Speaker: Yeah, it's just all of us.

Speaker: It's all the guys.

Speaker: Did you like work out?

Speaker: Yeah, work out.

Speaker: You got the pool, got the jacuzzi, playing cards.

Speaker: But you can't leave the house?

Speaker: No.

Speaker: Damn.

Speaker: Can you look at your phone?

Speaker: You don't have a phone the whole time.

Speaker: Damn.

Speaker: That's what I miss.

Speaker: Oh, wow.

Speaker: Because when you get a phone, oh, something distracts.

Speaker: Like right now, look at my phone.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's what I miss because you can only focus on the person and your emotion.

Speaker: That'd be kind of nice to not look at my phone like that.

Speaker: And then so STDs.

Speaker: So everyone's tested.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And if you have an STD, you're allowed to come.

Speaker: I believe so.

Speaker: You can't come.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: If you don't pass that part, you can't be on the show.

Speaker: How long did it take you to fill out the 600 question thing?

Speaker: Oh my God.

Speaker: At least two hours.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: Because you got to really think.

Speaker: These are not like, you love yourself.

Speaker: How was your day?

Speaker: These are like... There's like... You know how they... Word questions and make you think.

Speaker: You might pick an answer that's not really what you mean.

Speaker: Totally.

Speaker: So it's like... It's a lot.

Speaker: I want to pass.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Chris Harrison.

Speaker: Is he cool?

Speaker: He's awesome.

Speaker: That's my guy.

Speaker: I call him the miracle man now.

Speaker: He should be the next Bachelor.

Speaker: Is he single?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Really?

Speaker: From what I know.

Speaker: From what I know.

Speaker: I thought he was married for that reason.

Speaker: I think he was at one time.

Speaker: But he does never wear a ring.

Speaker: That's a great idea.

Speaker: And then did you trust the producers...

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: I mean, I trust myself.

Speaker: I trust the producers because I know them.

Speaker: But when you first come in, you don't trust nobody.

Speaker: Yeah, I was going to say.

Speaker: What are you doing?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Damn.

Speaker: And your family was excited for you.

Speaker: Yeah, the thing about family is I was the gray sheep, not the black sheep.

Speaker: I was the one who did things different and went for it.

Speaker: So I don't know.

Speaker: Anything I did, I was going to do regardless.

Speaker: I was that kid.

Speaker: I think they were excited, but the support like that wasn't like, they're just like, oh, that's E. He's doing his thing.

Speaker: Because I've always been that way.

Speaker: So I think I'm bad to myself because, and where I'm from, when you do bad, you get the attention.

Speaker: Because I was so good, doing well, they were like, oh, he's fine.

Speaker: Leave him alone.

Speaker: He's good.

Speaker: I'm like, yo, hey, guys, I'm over here.

Speaker: He's good.

Speaker: He's in good grades.

Speaker: He's never in trouble.

Speaker: He's respectful.

Speaker: And so I always had this, oh, that's just him doing him.

Speaker: He's doing his thing.

Speaker: Cool.

Speaker: That's what you like.

Speaker: It was never, no, I couldn't do that because everything else I did was so what they wanted or needed or good.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: They're good in school.

Speaker: You can't be out late.

Speaker: What?

Speaker: Like, I got straight A's.

Speaker: And I'm responsible.

Speaker: I'm not making a mess.

Speaker: So, you know.

Speaker: Have you, last question from me, but have you had to

Speaker: Has The Bachelorette changed your dating life post-show?

Speaker: And I know it has definitely because you opened yourself up to love.

Speaker: But have you had to explain perhaps a little more?

Speaker: Like, I don't know what girls' perceptions are of someone who was on The Bachelorette.

Speaker: Yeah, I just, it's tough because that's what I learned when you have status as a man, what do you do to women?

Speaker: Like some women, they can't even help it.

Speaker: And they don't even know.

Speaker: Like, they just want to be around you.

Speaker: They want to date you.

Speaker: And then sometimes if I find someone who's like a big fan of the show and attempt to date him a hangout, it gets kind of odd because then it's always talking about the show, which I don't mind, but it just gets old.

Speaker: Like, I don't want to talk about that.

Speaker: I would probably like, that would be the last thing I would talk about.

Speaker: But I get it.

Speaker: But I mean, if I met… Because of principle.

Speaker: But if I met LeBron James, I'm talking about basketball.

Speaker: That's my guy.

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

Speaker: I was like to go to Miami, had all the hate.

Speaker: How did you deal with the hate?

Speaker: Like, you know, like, bro, what are you talking about?

Speaker: I'm like the, your dad's girlfriend.

Speaker: Leave me alone.

Speaker: But it's tough because you don't know who is who and what is what and who's real.

Speaker: Like, you didn't even, like, I look at someone, I'm like, you didn't even know me a year ago.

Speaker: You didn't even know who I was.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I was on Uber and training people.

Speaker: Does that fuck you up a little bit?

Speaker: Yeah, like.

Speaker: It doesn't mess me up.

Speaker: It's just that, that's just how the world works.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: People don't know better.

Speaker: I've been kicking knowledge and information and wisdom, but no one knew me.

Speaker: Like, now, oh, you're listening now because, and that's the thing that's hard about America.

Speaker: You have to be somewhat of somebody for people to listen to you.

Speaker: Or you have a lot of money or you have material things for people to believe you.

Speaker: Like, you can be a homeless guy and you can give me all the wisdom I need to help my life, but I might not listen to you because you're homeless.

Speaker: But he had dreams and ambitions.

Speaker: You never know what his life was like.

Speaker: Why not listen to him?

Speaker: Oh, because look at him.

Speaker: We're quick to judge based on what we see.

Speaker: And that's what we know.

Speaker: That's a good one.

Speaker: Mic drop.

Speaker: That was real good.

Speaker: How can our listeners find you and what can they expect from you coming up?

Speaker: Like, what's happening?

Speaker: Where do you train going?

Speaker: Muscle Mechanics in West Hollywood.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Right across from the Beverly City.

Speaker: At One Fitness in North Hollywood as well.

Speaker: What kind of classes?

Speaker: Or like, what kind of style?

Speaker: Oh, just one-on-one.

Speaker: One-on-one.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: More HIIT.

Speaker: You know, I send people to do numerous workouts at once, but...

Speaker: It depends on the person, honestly.

Speaker: There's no one way.

Speaker: Instagram, it's my first and last name, Eric Bigger, E-R-I-C, B-I-G-G-E-R.

Speaker: Twitter, Eric underscore Bigger.

Speaker: I am on Snapchat, eBigs, E-B-I-G-G-S-S.

Speaker: And don't miss Paradise.

Speaker: Oh yeah, when is it?

Speaker: It airs tomorrow.

Speaker: Really?

Speaker: On his seventh.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Tuesday.

Speaker: Tuesday.

Speaker: Every Monday and Tuesday.

Speaker: ABM, ABC.

Speaker: Check me out.

Speaker: It's a miracle season.

Speaker: There's going to be a lot of love and a lot of things going on over there.

Speaker: Look, Trouble in Paradise.

Speaker: Uh-oh.

Speaker: Uh-oh.

Speaker: But no, it's going to be good.

Speaker: So you can catch me on ABC.

Speaker: What's the stat?

Speaker: What's the premise of that show?

Speaker: It's just a dating show.

Speaker: But the thing is, it's a bunch of people.

Speaker: You know, so imagine like the Bachelor world.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Everybody from Bachelorette and Ashley get together and they just go on the beach and try to find love.

Speaker: And you spend time.

Speaker: Did you find love?

Speaker: Is it fuckery or what?

Speaker: Oh, man.

Speaker: You got to watch.

Speaker: I found love for sure, baby.

Speaker: It's a miracle season.

Speaker: You did?

Speaker: I'm so excited.

Speaker: Bigger Talks podcast.

Speaker: You can download it on Apple iTunes.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Download it.

Speaker: Get those episodes.

Speaker: Got some good ones.

Speaker: Mental.

Speaker: You know, talk about depression.

Speaker: We talk about the Me Too.

Speaker: Time's up.

Speaker: Got some good actors on there.

Speaker: And yeah.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: Doing it all.

Speaker: Cool.

Speaker: Thanks so much for making the time.

Speaker: Thanks for having me.

Speaker: I love it over here.

Speaker: I love this conversation.

Speaker: I got to spend more time with the Almost 30 crew.

Speaker: Come on.

Speaker: We're going to go on meditation.

Speaker: Meditate.

Speaker: Meditate.

Speaker: Meditate.

Speaker: Elevate.

Speaker: When you elevate, celebrate.

Speaker: Downstairs, my neighbors are huge Bachelor and Bachelorette fans.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I didn't tell them you were coming at all, but I was wondering, I'm like, I wonder if they saw him coming.

Speaker: Literally.

Speaker: They freak the fuck.

Speaker: They literally, every Monday, they have like a powwow and they always invite me.

Speaker: I'm like, I'm busy.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But it's amazing.

Speaker: So I can't even imagine.

Speaker: I mean, Bachelor and Bachelorette Nation, fuck.

Speaker: How many DMs do you get a day?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Do you get a lot of tips?

Speaker: Or what?

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: I get a lot of DMs.

Speaker: I'll just say that.

Speaker: No, no, no, no.

Speaker: I had a lot of DMs.

Speaker: I'll say less on that.

Speaker: But people, people, yeah.

Speaker: People are people.

Speaker: I love it.

Speaker: People are people and, you know.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Love y'all.

Speaker: Love y'all.

Speaker: Thanks so much for being here.

Speaker: See you next week.

Speaker: What a cutie, right?

Speaker: So fun.

Speaker: He's the coolest.

Speaker: Yeah, he's so cool.

Speaker: Just love meeting people.

Speaker: Thanks for coming, Obioic.

Speaker: Thanks for coming.

Speaker: Okay, guys.

Speaker: Well, super excited to see you on tour.

Speaker: We have a few more of the I Am Enough necklaces available on our website, almost30podcast.com.

Speaker: Tickets for tour, almost30podcast.com slash tour.

Speaker: Find us on Instagram at almost30podcast.

Speaker: It's pretty ratch.

Speaker: And then as we always mentioned, the secret Almost 30 Podcast Facebook group is super welcoming, super loving, and we always connect in there.

Speaker: So super excited to get a little bit deeper with you, talk about this episode, and thank you so much for joining.

Speaker: We love you.