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No More Self-Abandonment: How to Heal, Grow, and Become Your Highest Self
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Self abandonment ends when you choose yourself and step into your next level. If you’re navigating personal growth, healing, loneliness, and spiritual growth, this episode will help you trust the in-between phase, build self-love, and become your most authentic, highest self.
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiritual Fitness
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And each week, we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health.
00:00:18
Speaker
By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul. Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
00:00:35
Speaker
It's miracle season.
00:00:39
Speaker
There's a phase in your life where you're growing, but you feel completely alone. It's like the old version of you doesn't work anymore. It doesn't fit your current reality.
00:00:50
Speaker
But guess what? The new phase is not fully activated. and you feel incomplete, and this is the in-between phase. This is the part of your life where your soul is in the gym, and this is true spiritual
Eric's Personal Growth Journey
00:01:06
Speaker
fitness. So if you're in a space where you're grown and you're by yourself and you're trying and you're giving everything you've got, but you just fully haven't accepted this new version, stick around because I'm going to give you the keys and the tools in the story, in the wisdom, so you can feel safe and compelled to activate this new version of you.
00:01:26
Speaker
I'm Eric Bigger, spiritual fitness expert and personal development coach, and I'm here to show you how to love yourself, to be yourself, to live out your most authentic self for your highest good.
00:01:39
Speaker
So I can relate to this topic in so many ways. I mean, from leaving Baltimore at 22 to come to l L.A. with a thousand dollars, knowing one person to being on Zack and Cody show and doing Jenny old turkey burger commercials as a background actor to being on a bachelorette, going on Dancing with the Stars, Family Feud.
00:02:03
Speaker
to actually been on TV for 10 weeks and my entire life changed. People running me down, wanting photos and asking me questions, TMZ, like all this stuff where it's like, what's happening? Who am I? What am I?
00:02:17
Speaker
It was uncomfortable. I didn't feel safe, but the thing I didn't do, I didn't give up. I kept going. And the reason being is because I had life in front of me and I had momentum from those shows.
Transition from LA to Costa Mesa
00:02:30
Speaker
But the truth is, when you're growing internally, when you're growing spiritually and you're changing your life for your highest good, you leaving people in the past, family, friends, maybe ex-partners, because you want to grow, it's lonely.
00:02:44
Speaker
There's no one around. It tells you about that empty space of loneliness. And so you might question, am I doing the right thing? Does this make sense? Why am i putting myself in this position? There's no one around. I've been in LA, California, 15 plus years.
00:03:00
Speaker
And what I sacrificed was not being with my family, not seeing them, not being there for Christmas, not being there for Thanksgiving. But what I accomplished was I lived my dreams. I experienced my dreams in my body, in my life. And now I'm here to give you the experiences of those things, the good and the bad.
00:03:18
Speaker
However, I want to give you a story that recently happened to me with growth and I'm still in that phase, that in-between phase where it's a little uncomfortable. I'm not as grounded as I would like, but it's okay because I know over time things will fall into alignment.
00:03:34
Speaker
So I was in LA, 14, 15 years, I think I came into California, Los Angeles, 2010. I moved last year, October 2025, right? So 15 years in ah in Los Angeles and I just moved to Costa Mesa, Orange County in October.
00:03:54
Speaker
So I've been here roughly almost six months, right? And let me tell you something. LA is only an hour away. It's not that far, but the energy here is totally different, more peaceful, and it's less traffic. It's not a lot of stimulation.
00:04:09
Speaker
So my first few weeks out here, my first few months, and I still was traveling when I moved, so I wasn't really grounded here because I was traveling. I kind of felt out of place. I kind of felt awkward. I kind of, I just felt like I didn't fit.
00:04:23
Speaker
And when I was in Los Angeles, when I was the space I was living in, because I had a grocery store, 24 hour gym, and I had everything, a workspace on the second floor, I never left my building.
00:04:33
Speaker
But there was a community. There was so many people. I knew the town. I knew the terrain. I felt safe in my body. But here, it's new. I don't know anyone. but the people that I know that that I'm here. Like my woman's here, her family's here, and people I meet in passing, but I don't have a real network out here. I don't have real friends out here. So I got to build that. So in this space,
00:04:57
Speaker
You know, it's like I got one foot in the new, right?
Stepping Out of Comfort Zones
00:05:00
Speaker
And I got one foot in the old. And what happens is when we go to expand our frequency and expand our timeline a new timeline, unconsciously we might even self-sabotage a new timeline or we put ourself in a position where we're constantly going back to old patterns, old ways.
00:05:19
Speaker
In my former place, I stayed inside and I just created content, did what I did, met with clients online and traveled when I needed to. But here I said, my intentions is to get outside an environment. So I joined a membership, um a gym, Curl Fitness. i'm actually teaching classes at Curl Fitness because I said, you know what? I want to build a community of new people, new relationships, new networks to start fresh, not to start over, to start fresh, to build my bandwidth in Orange County. Right.
00:05:49
Speaker
And it's uncomfortable because you don't know people not uncomfortable where you like, I can't be myself. It's just new. So it's like moving a new apartment or being in a new relationship. You're adjusting to the energy because it's new. And guess what?
00:06:05
Speaker
In this new timeline that you're on, this new paradigm, it's not supposed to feel comfortable. It's not supposed to feel good. It's new. Right. So one thing I've learned and I want to share this.
00:06:17
Speaker
And this is going for the rest of your life. If you only do things when you're comfortable, your life will be hard. So I know if you made a decision to go to another city, another state to do something uncomfortable, but you know it's going to make you better over time, your life is going to change. But if you continue If you continue on the same cycle that you've been doing for the last five, ten years and you're expecting your life to change, it's not going to change because you've got to build new neural pathways and new habits. So I think it's important for us all to chase new experiences. Get around where it's better. Get around where it's healthy. The energy is great. Go around some new environments. You need people to build the bandwidth to feel more safe in your body. So for me, that's what i'm doing. and I'm building my network here. I'm going out, i'm talking to people. I'm meeting people, doing pop-up workouts at gyms. I'm present.
00:07:13
Speaker
But here's the thing. In that in-between space when you're lonely and you're grown, and I'll take it back to um before TV, before The Bachelorette in 2017, right? I was reading books. I was going to seminars. I mean, I lived in...
00:07:29
Speaker
a part of l L.A. I lived in Koreatown, but I was driving all way out to Westlake to train at ProActor Sports. Look it up. And they train nothing but professional athletes where I worked out with like Aaron Rodgers, Clay Matthews, Paul George, Reggie Jackson, all these superstar athletes. And then because I was in that new experience back then,
00:07:49
Speaker
I feel like by osmosis, energetically, I felt more confident. I felt more fulfilled because I was around real athletes, professional athletes that we see on TV and I was working out with them. So I'm like, oh, wow, I'm just as good. Or I can compete with these guys, right? Because I was in a new environment. Westlake Village is an hour from where I lived at the time.
00:08:09
Speaker
So L.A. is an hour away from Costa Mesa, where at right now. And so the thing is, that was a challenge here, and I'm still cultivating that challenge to get it all the away.
00:08:22
Speaker
Certain is my nervous system. What do I mean by my nervous system? So L.A., everybody goes to L.A. because they want to make it. They want to be on TV.
00:08:34
Speaker
They want to be famous. They want to be somebody, which is all good because that was me. Right. But I didn't know I wanted to be called TV. I came to l L.A. to go to grad school and TV found me. So I didn't know until like.
00:08:47
Speaker
Maybe a year and a half ago when I was coming out here every weekend to see my girlfriend that. L.A. is so overstimulated. It's so much going on in the energy. iss So many people, so much traffic.
00:09:00
Speaker
And it's stimulating. It's very, I want to say chaotic, it's busy. So my nervous system got used to the busyness, to the noise, to the chatter, to the people, to the cars, to the air, being poli-witted.
00:09:14
Speaker
And then I came out here in Cosa Mesa, It's it's calm, you don't see that many people, it's clean.
00:09:25
Speaker
So in my nervous system, I felt like, wow, like it's kind of weird, right? Because I'm so used to, so I would get up in the morning and I could feel inside my body, I want to rush like, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Because in l LA, everybody's trying to make it. So everyone's in that that rat race of energy, like auditions, job, this, that, whatever, right? To make it to be wherever they need to be. And so having that energetic shift, it allowed me to know that I'm safe here.
00:09:54
Speaker
I don't have to rush. I have more than enough time and I'm going to be okay. Right. And so I constantly talking to my body, my nervous system, doing deep breath work, meditation, all the stuff I've done when I was in l LA.
Embracing Discomfort and Isolation
00:10:07
Speaker
But the main thing i want you guys to be real to realize is that this is the in-between season.
00:10:14
Speaker
And in this in-between season, this empty space, it's not gonna always feel good. It's gonna be uncomfortable because it's new. So give the space, the in-between grace, Give it compassion and have gratitude for the journey. Be thankful and look back like, man, look how far you come.
00:10:33
Speaker
You really did it. You're really doing it. Because to live the life you want, you got to do what others want. I've done a lot of things that ah that I knew I could, but I never thought would be. Like I went to Machu Picchu in 2024. I went to the top of the mountain. I've never climbed mountains. By the way, I'm afraid of heights.
00:10:50
Speaker
However, I was willing to change. I was willing to step into this new reality and change my life because I was in pain. I was heartbroken. I was lonely. And so I say that to say, I want you to take this time, but really sit and be still. Put your hand over your heart. Put another one over your belly. Let's take a deep breath.
00:11:13
Speaker
And repeat after me. I'm well. I'm safe. I'm loved. And where I'm at right now is where I'm supposed to be.
00:11:27
Speaker
And I'm proud of myself for the journey I chose to be on. So it is. And when you do that, you just pause and give your body, your nervous system with grace, reverence and love.
00:11:41
Speaker
And you do that over time, especially when you feel alone and you feel like there's no one to call or because in this space, honestly, there's no one who can relate to you because that's not too many people in this space unless you attract them into their life.
00:11:54
Speaker
Right. For me, there wasn't. you know, that I know of, a lot of black men, black guys studying spirituality, doing plant medicine, that was on TV, that was from a, that lived in LA, that also believed in God, who was deep in it. Like i didn't handle on lake. So I was the one, everybody was coming to you for prayer, for feedback, for support. So I felt like it's just me and me.
00:12:20
Speaker
But as as I grew and became, I started to attract other men, other women on a journey who can relate, and who can understand me, who can see me for me and not the me that they think I am. So the main thing in this space is to keep going, keep going, despite the fear, despite feeling alone. And honestly, i feel like God isolates us.
00:12:45
Speaker
To elevate us. Isolation is elevation, but you got to be isolated to be separated to be elevated, right? And all you're doing when you're on a new timeline and it's uncomfortable and you're by yourself, that means new things about to come in. You're making space for that. So yes, it hurts to leave that job. It hurts to leave those friends. It hurts to leave that partnership. But feel those feelings. You have to grieve those moments because ah new you is being birthed. This is your rebirth.
00:13:14
Speaker
Take this information, take this YouTube, share it, watch it again, and know you're not alone. It's supposed to be uncomfortable. In order to grow, you're going to have to change. In order to change, you're going to have to grow.
00:13:28
Speaker
And that comes with discomfort. That comes with feeling overwhelmed. And that comes with somewhat being... By yourself. Go look up the hero's journey chart. Like, that's what you're on. You're on a hero's journey.
00:13:40
Speaker
And but once you get over that, you get initiated. Sometimes you return home. And that home is the home of yourself. But you never come back home the same way. So this was great. I'm so happy to speak. This is so interesting. I've changed so much. I've jumped so many timelines. And I'm still, like...
00:13:58
Speaker
ah Look, it's just me by myself, right? This is the journey. However, you get to watch and benefit from this. You are in this with me. We're in this together. You're not alone. Make sure if you have it, click the link, subscribe to YouTube, like this video, share this video, comment, give me your feedback.
Engagement and Community Invitation
00:14:17
Speaker
Go to my Instagram and follow me at Eric Bigger, and my TikTok as well, my Threads account, where I'm putting a lot of motivation, and join my broadcast channel on Instagram.
00:14:26
Speaker
And also, if you want to work with me, I have my spiritual fitness sacred momentum container where we work out once a week, every Wednesday, 9 a.m. PST. It's 45 minute workout. We pray, we do affirmations. I'm teaching in a container, but we're actually moving on by. So it is exercise, but it's for the mind, the body and the spirit.
00:14:46
Speaker
So that being said, you guys be great. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. Give yourself grace. Have compassion on the journey. And you're not alone. Trust me. You're in in-between phase. And that in-between phase, magic is happening. Momentum is coming. Stay present. Keep going.
00:15:03
Speaker
Be great. Peace.
00:15:06
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blood and spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul.
00:15:22
Speaker
If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.