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Episode 766 - I to X of Swords: Chainsword
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We're rating more swords on this week's show, including two different things that can be described as a "chainsword"! Plus: a Sailor Moon sword, a version of Excalibur, and a sword that requires a truck.
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Transcript
Introduction to War Rocket Ajax
00:00:00
Speaker
This show is recorded using Zencaster. If you are a podcaster or you want to be a podcaster and you want to be able to record remotely, you can do so using Zencaster. They also have hosting options and you can let them know that we sent you. Follow the link in our show notes or in the episode description and sign up for an account on Zencaster now to start recording your own podcast.
00:00:28
Speaker
Titus, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?
00:00:38
Speaker
got one rocket Ajax to bring back his body. Terminate! Exit! Go!
00:00:52
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to War Rocket
Reflections on Weddings
00:00:55
Speaker
Ajax. This is the internet's most explosive comic book and pop culture podcast and we are your hosts. My name is Gross Sims. With me as always is Matt Wilson.
00:01:04
Speaker
Hey. Hi Matt. Usually I don't talk there but you know. Yeah well yeah but. i was I was setting you up to go right into the question. i didn't tell you that I usually ask the question. please Since you're asking the question, i i admit i like wanted to set you right up into it, and now we're not doing that at all.
00:01:26
Speaker
That's fine. Here is the question, though. ah We ask each other questions here at the top of the show instead of asking each other how we're doing, because we know the answer how we're doing. We know how we're all doing.
00:01:38
Speaker
So Chris, the reason we didn't have a regular War Rocket Ajax episode last week is because i was away from my home. I left for a week to go attend a wedding.
00:01:51
Speaker
And invariably, one of the topics that came up was what Marlene and I would change about our wedding if from 2012.
00:02:07
Speaker
like what element of it we would change, if any. And I think what we settled on was we would have hired a DJ. We did not have a DJ at my wedding. We just had like a playlist that we made, a music playlist that we played like on an iPod or whatever we had at the time.
00:02:30
Speaker
And that was fine. i mean, it's not that that was a problem per se, but But it was something that we had to do on the night when, in hindsight, it would have been nice to have somebody else deal with that and us not to have to worry about it.
00:02:49
Speaker
So, Chris, is there an element of your wedding you would have changed and what would it have been? I don't know, Matt. I really liked my wedding. like We had a playlist, but AC and I made the playlist. It's like five hours long.
00:03:02
Speaker
Yeah. ah And it's like... i still listen to it every now and then. Because it's like... A lot of it's just songs we like. Yeah, I mean, that's that was our playlist, too. I think we made CDs for everybody um of a lot of those songs.
00:03:17
Speaker
And it's not that I would change the music. I would probably instruct the DJ play those same songs. i just That way, I wouldn't have had to bother with like you know playing the next song myself. Somebody else would have done it. you know I would have maybe had more groomspeople.
00:03:34
Speaker
Just because I feel bad that there are, are like like, I had three. I had you, Chad, and Jay. Yeah. Jay Ediden. And I feel like, you know, like, gosh, like, there's there's five or six more people that I would have liked to include in that. But, you know, that's, like, you know.
00:03:55
Speaker
Well, surely, like, as you've gotten older and and gotten more friends... You probably want to add those people, which I would too. you know that's That's an element of it for sure too. But it's interesting to think about. like If you were doing it now, what you would do different. But like I think we're both pretty happy with what our weddings actually were. but Yeah, I mean, your your wedding was one of my favorites I've ever been to.
00:04:18
Speaker
That's very nice. Thank you. Yeah, you had ah you had a you had great food at the reception. You had those Amish bread and butter pickles. We did. We also had barbecue ah barbecue buffet.
00:04:30
Speaker
We did hot chicken. Yeah, I remember that. And and we had we had a cupcake tower instead of like a big cake. I wouldn't change any of that. Yeah, we did pie.
00:04:40
Speaker
Yeah, pie was also great. Yeah, I really liked my wedding. I don't know if I would change anything other than like... if If I could get everybody to go back in time with me, there are people, you know, friends I have made since 2017 that I would like to attend. But I don't know if that is in the spirit of the question.
00:04:58
Speaker
Yeah, and my only change would be I would make it easier on myself. yeah But, you know, that's how it goes. All right, we got a great show for everybody this
Patreon Drive and New Content
00:05:07
Speaker
week. We are once again raiding swords. one to ten I would involve swords in my wedding.
00:05:14
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes. ah We're rating swords because, as you will learn a little later in the show, we're going to rate at least one sword that we tabled in the past, in a previous episode. So stick around for that.
00:05:37
Speaker
But Chris, before we get to that, before we get to sword raiding, we do have some business to take care of. That first piece of business is thanking our newest supporters over on Patreon.
00:05:48
Speaker
That's right, Matt. Now, these are the people who, they want to help support the show. They want to help us out. They want to help us keep doing what we do on the show. And they want to help us pay those gimmicks they keep sending in the mail called bills. And you know how you do that?
00:06:03
Speaker
I can tell you, you don't need no kettlebells. You don't need to take your alpha brain. All you need to do... well That one got him.
00:06:16
Speaker
That one got him, everybody. Alpha brain. All you gotta do is go to... pat I almost said t-h-e-dash-is-b.com. That's the wrong address. I was doing so well. You you laughing at the alpha brain joke tripped me up.
00:06:31
Speaker
All you gotta do... is go to patreon.com slash warrocketajax, where you can kick in as little as a dollar a month. That helps us out. That helps bring you a new side project, a new patron-only podcast that is within striking distance of happening.
00:06:48
Speaker
That helps preserve Gimmick Street. That lets you take a trip on down to 766 Gimmick Street to find out what's there. And most importantly, helps us pay those gimmicks they keep sending in the mail called Bill's.
00:07:01
Speaker
Chris, would you like to know what's at 766 Gimmick Street? I would love to know, Matt, if we have a new member of the Gimmick Street Preservation Society. We sure do. Who has stepped up and and helped save one of the historic locations on everyone's favorite podcast street.
00:07:22
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We sure do. It's CJ Kroll. CJ Kroll, long-time listener. enters the hallowed halls of the gimmick street preservation society and who has named the location at 766 gimmick street.
00:07:37
Speaker
It is the home of Isaac Horowitz, former witch now born again, Catholic, but but he still DMs D and D for his friends.
00:07:49
Speaker
Oh, and he cured that guy of AIDS. Okay, um I have a lot of questions about this. Isaac Horowitz is now Catholic. Apparently, apparently. because Carmen was evangelical.
00:08:04
Speaker
car Carmen was definitely Protestant, and I would guess Southern Baptist. I would guess.
00:08:15
Speaker
Maybe even Pentecostal. Yeah. Certainly charismatic, as they say. Certainly charismatic. In more ways than one. But I think if you are going to go from like...
00:08:28
Speaker
the the The type of of witchcraft that Isaac Horowitz was involved in Folks, if you don't know who we're talking about, this conversation must sound bonkers. For those that don't know, ah on previous Halloween episodes in particular, we have often talked about the song by Christian singer Carmen, R.I.P.,
00:08:50
Speaker
called Witch's Invitation, the Witch's Invitation, in which Carmen is invited to the house of a witch named Isaac Horowitz because... A name that is not is not coded at all.
00:09:02
Speaker
No, absolutely not. ah and Just a name with nothing else attached to it, Isaac Horowitz. Among the different things that Isaac Horowitz had in his home that Carmen visited was Dungeons and Dragons. He had one Dungeons & Dragons book, and also at one point in the song, he does mention that he cursed someone with AIDS.
00:09:29
Speaker
Yeah. Witches' bananas. I'm looking at the lyrics right now of A Witch's Invitation. That's so many lyrics well to song. Well, it is spoken word.
00:09:41
Speaker
A lot of it is said out loud, yeah. I mean i think all of it might be spoken word. Well, thank you, CJ, for... Having us go through and explain Isaac Horowitz cursing someone with a horrible disease.
00:09:56
Speaker
You said Carmen R.I.P. um I don't know. I don't know if he should be R-ing R.I.P. Well, I didn't say what the P stood for. That's true. that's Thank you, CJ, for joining the Gimmick Street Preservation Society. We do appreciate it.
00:10:12
Speaker
I have a whole lot of new Patreon supporters' names to read out, because not only ah have ah we did we take a week off last week, we started essentially a pledge drive.
00:10:29
Speaker
So, get ready. Yes, I made mention of it earlier. Yes. But if we get to 500 paid backers on Patreon, we will be launching a new...
00:10:42
Speaker
backer-only, patron-only side project called Talent Show, where I will read all 77 issues of Jim Balance Run on Catwoman plus annuals and specials, and I will tell Matt what happens in them.
00:10:59
Speaker
And I'm also, I'm even going to sweeten the deal here. Okay? Instead of considering Talent Show bonus content, Uh-huh.
00:11:10
Speaker
It's just going to be a Patreon-exclusive show. So even if you're at the $1 level, you will also get talent show. Now that's a heck of a deal.
00:11:22
Speaker
Yes. that's And that has not been discussed, which you know because we said something different on this month's Every Story Ever. Yeah, I think we originally said it was going to be... At the $5 level. At the $5 level, it was gonna be it was going to be bonus content. But since...
00:11:38
Speaker
but We're asking people to join at the $1 level to get the number up. I think they should all get talent show. You won't get any of the other bonus content if you're at the $1 level, but you will get talent show no matter what level you're at on the Patreon. But you you have to be a patron to get it.
00:11:58
Speaker
We are currently at $441. That's higher we were. that's paid that's higher than we were That's closing in. yes we are we are fifty nine Patrons away. Thanks to these people.
00:12:11
Speaker
Jason Lawrence. Thank you, Jason. Christopher Oates. Hey, that's my name. Thank you, Christopher. Thank you, Christopher. Kevin McClain.
00:12:22
Speaker
Thank you, Kevin. Rich Radka. Thank you, Rich. Nicole O'Duffy. Oh, okay. Now hang on. I don't know if Patrick and Nicole can count as two separate people.
00:12:35
Speaker
They absolutely can. They absolutely can. alright. Sure. thank you Thank you, Nicole. James Maxwell. Thank you, James. Ruin. but Thank you, Ruin.
00:12:46
Speaker
Daniel Harmon. Thank you, Daniel. Jeff Holland. Thank you, Jeff. Matt Fraction. That's your name. Thank you, Matt Fraction. Thank you, Matt Fraction. Hey, what the fuck, Fraction? Not being of a ah supporter of this show for the past fucking 17 Sam Rutzik.
00:13:10
Speaker
Thank you, Sam. Brandon Gibbons. Thank you, Brandon. Pat McClellan. Thank you, Pat. And Stephen Kushner. Thank you, Stephen. That's a lot of new subscribers.
00:13:23
Speaker
That is a lot of new subscribers. We've gone up, I think, about 10 since we last talked about this. So we can do this. We are 59 away from doing Talent Show, and I'm adding the sweetener that you will get Chris telling me about Jim Ballant Catwoman comics, no matter what level of the Patreon you are at. Now, again, other bonus content, that is at the $5 level.
00:13:52
Speaker
But Talent Show will make Patreon exclusive to all patrons. Paid patrons. So thank you to all of those new patrons. ah If you are not a patron and you want Talent Show, get on there.
00:14:07
Speaker
Also at the $1 level, you get every episode of every so of show that we do completely ad-free. This show weekly, Every Story Ever monthly, Comics Catch-Up, and Movie Fighters and Snack Situation, when and if we ever bring those back.
00:14:20
Speaker
Now, i will say I will say this, because I don't want anyone to join under false pretenses or feel like they were not told the whole truth. A, talent show will not be edited.
00:14:32
Speaker
No, no, no. No, we're not trying to make that much more work for ourselves. Two, I make no guarantees about episode length or or how in-depth I'm getting.
00:14:46
Speaker
I will guarantee that I will read these comics, and I will tell you about them. i I have a feeling that those but episodes will end up being pretty meaty, whether we mean for them to or not. Look, I also feel that way. i've We've been doing this show for a while.
00:15:01
Speaker
I know how we go. I'm just saying, if if I can knock out a talent show in like five or ten minutes, don't get mad at me. Get mad at probably Chuck Dixon.
00:15:14
Speaker
At the $5 level, you get bonus content, as I mentioned. At the $10 level, you get line-stepping privileges for our segments, which currently include ah One to Ten of Swords and Every Story Ever. At the $15 level, you join the Gimmick Street Preservation Society, and you get to name what goes at a location on Gimmick Street.
00:15:35
Speaker
which is very cool and exciting. That's a good level to join up at. At the $20 level, you get a t-shirt. The 2026 t-shirt, we have seen preliminary designs of it, and it looks great. Oh, you're going want this one.
00:15:50
Speaker
You're going to want this You're going to want this one. it's It's gorgeous looking so far. If you're unable to help us monetarily, we do understand why that might be. You can help us out in other ways. You can leave us a five-star review on the podcasting app that you use, whatever that may be. Or you can just spread the word about the show. Tell your friends and family. Tell people you know to listen to this show. War Rocket Ajax.
00:16:14
Speaker
And then maybe they can join our Patreon and get us to 500 so that talent show happens. With that, Chris, it's
Personal Stories and Recommendations
00:16:25
Speaker
time for some Checks and Recs. What do you say?
00:16:27
Speaker
Let's do it
00:16:30
Speaker
it. Chris, what do you have to check in with this week? Matt, you know that I am... My my mental state is fragile. You know, I think that's ah true of all of us at this point. Mine is medically bad.
00:16:46
Speaker
And i'm I feel... If I can get super real for a second... Sure. i feel like for the entire year... very dissociated. Uh, I, I feel like, you know and I, and being unemployed as I still am, I mentioned to AC this morning, ah that like, Hey, right now I am actually a full-time podcaster.
00:17:12
Speaker
And she went, no. And I think if you asked her what she changed, would change about our wedding, it might be the groom. Oh no. I've heard that. no she's very supportive.
00:17:25
Speaker
Um, But there are things that I think are really helping me to get through it a little bit. And I know you don't fuck with TikTok, Matt. I do not. I know you don't fuck with TikTok. And I don't blame you.
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah. But one of the things that I have found very pleasant, very grounding, and very nice, and this is going to tie into my rec a little bit as well, is a ah TikTok creator...
00:17:55
Speaker
who kind of came up randomly on on my page. Their username is TigerJohnson04. And this is a young a British person who is under the age of 25. That comes up in one of the videos.
00:18:13
Speaker
And she reviews cars. ah She started by reviewing her own car, which is a ah Suzuki Jimny.
00:18:25
Speaker
And then asked, hey, does anyone want to ah have me review their car? And now she's at the point where she's being like, like Ford is bringing her out to like a Ford museum. And she's going to Italy to see a bunch of cars.
00:18:44
Speaker
And she mentions in one of her videos, she's like, yeah, I don't really know a lot about cars. So she reviews cars based on vibes. yeah Yeah, of course. yeah And she's extremely pleasant. it's I hate to say this because I don't actually like this, but there's it's like it's like Wes Anderson talking about cars in a lot of ways.
00:19:09
Speaker
all right yeah She's got a very cool like vintage style and really likes to talk about you know cars that ah aren't... It's more than just the Porsche 911. know?
00:19:22
Speaker
you know ah but She did a video where where she talked about how the way that she got into cars was that she used to be a bartender at a pub in England that was car-themed, and so they'd have, like, Lamborghinis rock up ah just to be, like, in the parking lot.
00:19:43
Speaker
Like... on display for everyone. And got into cars in a really interesting and casual way. They're very pleasant. I highly recommend them. Matt, I know you don't fuck with TikTok, but I would highly recommend this. It's very calming and soothing. See, i if I got to just watch the stuff I wanted to watch on it, that would be fine. But like that's not the intended...
00:20:10
Speaker
use of TikTok. It's it's it's a fire hose. you It just shoots stuff at you your your eyes and you just watch it and then you go to the next thing and you have no choice in the matter. That's that's what bothers me most about TikTok. but this sounds like this sounds like what I will say, you have no choice in the matter. I think it's that's that's a little bit exaggerated.
00:20:34
Speaker
youre You're algorithmed to... Yes. But sometimes the algorithm serves you up a nice young person talking about ah the aesthetics of cars they like. And it's very nice. so that does That does sound very nice. Yes, I've been taking a lot of joy in ah in watching these videos. Because also she's like just a very like enthusiastic and pleasant person, but in a very low-key way.
00:20:59
Speaker
Matt! What have you been up to while I've been watching car videos on TikTok? Chris, imagine me in a YouTube thumbnail. I'm like making one of those faces, one of those YouTube thumbnail faces. Okay, okay.
00:21:13
Speaker
I've got it. I just need to i just need the text. you see You see it? All right. In the photo, I'm making the face. In the photo, I'm holding up an aluminum foil wrapped sandwich.
00:21:25
Speaker
Okay. The text says, I didn't like Bucky's.
00:21:33
Speaker
Okay, okay. On our road trip, we stopped at a Buc-ee's in Virginia that I think is pretty newly opened. And, you know, I've been hearing about Buc-ee's for a long time. There are none in the state of North Carolina.
00:21:49
Speaker
I think one is opening... like this year sometime, but not near us. The closest one to us is Sevierville, Tennessee, near Pigeon Forge. But I've i've never been to that Buc-ee's, so my first ever stop at a Buc-ee's was on this road trip. And Marlene and I were excited to go because we've heard so much about Buc-ee's and like people rave about it and everything.
00:22:17
Speaker
We get there. It is gigantic, as you would expect. It's like the size of a Walmart, almost.
00:22:28
Speaker
And there's a lot of people there. I'm like, okay. I know that what they do here is brisket. like Brisket is their like big selling point for barbecue sandwiches.
00:22:40
Speaker
But I have to try a pulled pork sandwich. And so I did. i bought a pulled pork sandwich. There was nowhere to sit down and eat it, first of all.
00:22:54
Speaker
Which, you know, I guess I understand, like, it's a very car-focused kind of place. And so there's no seating, but, like, goddamn, I wanted to sit down and eat my sandwich.
00:23:07
Speaker
I also got like the book. That's a very funny complaint to me, Matt, because it is essentially a gas station. There's gas stations with places to sit down and eat. If you stop at a Sheetz, they have seats.
00:23:21
Speaker
Matt, how many times in your life have you eaten at a Sheetz? Like several. on a road trip? i am I am giving my monitor such a look right now. Because I do not believe that's true.
00:23:35
Speaker
I have. I have eaten at Sheetz. I've eaten at Wawa far more, obviously. Well, yeah, obviously. Given who I'm married to. ah But I have eaten at Sheetz before. But ah I was a little surprised to find that there was no seating at Bucky's.
00:23:51
Speaker
I also got like one of the Bucky's made craft sodas. It was like the orange cream soda. And like, it was all fine, but not as good as I expected or wanted it to be.
00:24:06
Speaker
Like the pulled pork sandwich was at best okay. Marlene got a brisket sandwich that was also just fine. We did buy some beaver nuggets and those are pretty good.
00:24:17
Speaker
Yeah, I was going to say, like the thing the thing you get is the nuts, in my experience. The thing you get is snacks. is Snacks, yeah. Not entrees.
00:24:28
Speaker
I've never heard anyone like rave about the food options at Bucky's. I have heard somebody rave about food options at Bucky's, but now, in hindsight, I'm realizing that it was Babish from Binging with Babish. Uh-huh. And that may have been SpawnCon.
00:24:45
Speaker
Mm-hmm. i i just assumed that people liked it because it's a big old place with a bunch of stuff in it. And they've got a they got a mascot. and And it's got like a funny name.
00:25:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's a fun, gimmicky place to a degree. like It's it's like too crowded. But the the things there that were good were... Beaver Nuggets.
00:25:12
Speaker
I did get a ah thing of the the like hot candied almonds. Those were tasty. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. See, that's the move, Matt. That's the move. yeah um They also had like store-made potato chips, and I got some like thin jalapeno-flavored potato chips. Those were delicious.
00:25:35
Speaker
Okay, so it sounds like this thumbnail, like many YouTube thumbnails, is a little misleading. little clickbaity, yeah. The other thing that was good at Bucky's, so I ended up just dumping out the orange cream soda. Because it like even though it wasn't diet, it tasted like diet.
00:25:51
Speaker
i did not I did not manage to get any of the ah the the craft sodas when I went ah on my trip to ah to Tennessee last year. But when we have our boys' trip...
00:26:03
Speaker
yeah We're going to stop. We're going to Bucky's. You know we are. Okay, great. The the one thing that I will give Bucky's great credit for, though, is Sundrop on tap.
00:26:15
Speaker
Hell yeah. They had Sundrop on tap. I would prefer Cheerwine because Sundrop from a fountain doesn't actually taste great. um Not like Cheerwine does, but they did have that. That's hot.
00:26:28
Speaker
That's the stuff. That's the stuff. Anyway, that was my Buc-ee's experience. I know now not to get a barbecue sandwich at Buc-ee's. I will get chicken tenders if I need a meal from there, I think.
00:26:43
Speaker
if you If you need a meal from there, I feel like the planning has gone awry. Buc-ee's is not far from like Like at Wendy's. Yes, I know. But like that was part of the novelty of it. It's like, oh, we'll stop at Bucky's and get lunch. Because we knew they had like food options. you know ah But nonetheless, time for some recommendations. what do you have to recommend, Chris?
00:27:06
Speaker
Matt, as I mentioned, I feel very dissociative. And what do I like to dissociate with the most? That's lot right. Racing games. ah Yeah, love them. Nothing easier to just kind of lose three months to.
00:27:19
Speaker
Yes. ah like I'm not a huge proponent of turn-your-brain-off entertainment, but a racing game is exactly that. Sometimes I need to simply not exist in my physical form yes for a few hours at a time. That's just how my brain works.
00:27:39
Speaker
I don't like it either. Yeah. And the best way to do that is with a racing game. And lately, i have been getting into Forza. Forza Horizon 5, in fact.
00:27:51
Speaker
ah Which is a fun racing game ah that is available on Steam and on your ah your Xboxes. It is an Xbox Studios game. So they do shit like you can get a bunch of different like sounds for your horn and one of them is like the Microsoft Teams ringtone. And I'm like...
00:28:10
Speaker
This is like a rare item in this game? Like, why would you do that? No one wants that. I can't imagine wanting to honk my horn. i want to be reminded of work. Yeah. Guys, come on. Get with it. But you know you can also get a Halo Jeep, if that's your thing.
00:28:27
Speaker
ah I got it on sale. I got like the big the big fancy edition, which still lacks about $70 worth of content on sale on the Steam Deck. And ah I've been really enjoying it.
00:28:42
Speaker
It's the first racing game I've played in forever that doesn't have like a boost in it. It doesn't have nitros.
00:28:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like Need for Speed. Like Need for Speed style. Yeah. you know Need for Speed, Burnout. i I was playing a little bit of of The Crew All those have Nitro.
00:29:07
Speaker
So when... ah have have NOS. So when ah when I got into Forza, it took me a little bit. Now, one thing I will say about this game, Matt, is that ah there's a Hot Wheels expansion.
00:29:22
Speaker
Okay. Where you launch yourself into the sky, ah where there's a floating island covered in giant life-size Hot Wheels tracks.
00:29:35
Speaker
With like loops, and you can get like the Hot Wheels cars. That's pretty dope. No, that rules. yeah That fully owns. It's a great driving game. There's a lot of variety. I am a little bit mad at it, because if you want a Shelby Cobra GT500, that's fucking what fuck? Yeah. Like, the 67 Shelby What the fuck?
00:29:58
Speaker
yeah like sixty seven shel be shelby g t five hundred what the fuckg I have to pay extra for that? Kenichi Sonata would never.
00:30:09
Speaker
I am enjoying Forza Horizon 5. And it also has like a nice little feature where you can give a car to someone randomly. Which, since I miss the Wonder Trade system, which has not been in the last ah Pokemon game that I played, I'm enjoying like you know shipping off a Lambo to someone at random.
00:30:30
Speaker
ah So definitely check out Forza Horizon 5. And if you get a gifted car from Invincible Super, you're welcome. Matt, what would you like to recommend?
00:30:45
Speaker
New Robin album. Okay. oh Oh, man. it's i had to I had to do that a whole bit where I opened the door and ran in. ah but Because, alert, there's a new Robin album.
00:31:00
Speaker
It's called Sexistential, and it fucking whips. Yeah, I bet. It's so good. It's like... the The best compliment I could give and I told Marlene this, it's like Robin from 15 years ago.
00:31:17
Speaker
ah it's It's like not quite as good as Body Talk, but almost as good as Body Talk. Now, did she ever find anybody to dance with? She was dancing on her own, but she also wanted that one other woman to call her... girl to Or that guy to call his girlfriend.
00:31:31
Speaker
Right. So... I don't know. Those may have been the two different people on the opposite sides of this relationship. I i don't know. But the new album um is great. it has My favorite song on it is probably um called Talk To Me, which I think is the new the first single also.
00:31:50
Speaker
um It is so good. Again, it it sounds like Robin from 2010. twenty ten And there there are even songs on it that sound like Robin from 1998.
00:32:02
Speaker
ninety ninety eight
00:32:05
Speaker
Or 2006. I don't guess Robin was around in 1998. But like two thousand s like, first album Robin. ah There are songs that sound like that too.
00:32:16
Speaker
So, um I don't have like a ton to say about it other than it's great. Oh no, she was around in 1998. Her debut album was from 1995.
00:32:25
Speaker
It's really good. And ah you should check it out. It's on you know every music streaming service. So listen to it. Wouldn't it be wild if there was if there was actually like an explicit sequel song to Dancing On My Own?
00:32:41
Speaker
Yeah. Like how Metallica did The Unforgiven 2. Dancing On My Own 2? Or Dancing With Someone Else? yeah ah Yeah. ah Anyway, new Robin album. It's called Sexistential. It's really good.
00:32:57
Speaker
Go listen to it.
Comic Reviews and Genre Discussion
00:33:01
Speaker
With that, Chris... Those are our checks and recs, which means it's time to review some comics. What do you say? Let's do it.
00:33:12
Speaker
The Texture's Choice winner for this week Wrestle Heist number five, the final issue of what is hopefully just the first series set in the Wrestle Heist universe.
00:33:28
Speaker
And I texted both you and Benito about this to say that this ending is so satisfying. Now, Matt, Matt, I gotta say, did you say this was the first comic in the WrestleHeist universe?
00:33:46
Speaker
Well, i it's the first miniseries, I believe. was ah Well, i Ricky Thunder is... ricky thum This is actually, secretly... revealed at the very end to be in Ricky Thunder continuity. Yes, Ricky Thunder is revealed to have been here the whole time. That's right. Yes, which maybe me and maybe like, I don't know, a dozen other people care about, but buddy, when I say I popped, i when when when Ricky Thunder showed up,
00:34:24
Speaker
Ten years older, with a mustache. I about lost it. Well, i Kyle had to give him a mustache, because otherwise... He looks exactly like Sterling Steele. He looks exactly like Sterling Steele, that's right.
00:34:37
Speaker
No, this was an incredibly ah satisfying... ah conclusion like I love that there was a good heist movie, Ocean's Eleven, multiple twist.
00:34:52
Speaker
Like, yeah multiple turn at the end. Where they got the thing that they said they were going to steal, but they also got the actual thing. Right. I mean, I think we're going to spoil it for everybody here. They steal all the money, but also...
00:35:09
Speaker
As like a not even entirely planned part of the heist, Sterling Seal wins the world championship. He wins it, up and I love that he wins it in a shoot, which is he was described as being very unsatisfying to watch.
00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah, it was really short. like he yeah He just dodges all of... um the offense of the champion, and ah and then he puts him in like a real Anaconda Vice choke. yeah and he He chokes him out for real?
00:35:42
Speaker
Chokes him out, yeah. and And then that's it. yeah and there's a There's a line later on that's like, well, that's kind of an anticlimactic match. Yeah. Yeah. Which, if you've ever seen a shoot, they're very rarely entertaining.
00:35:55
Speaker
I mean, UFC is very popular, but I don't know why. Yeah, but i mean, like I do feel like there's a difference between a an actual fight and a pro wrestling match that becomes a shoot.
00:36:08
Speaker
Sure. that that That is true. ah Yeah, it's great. And and like just like seeing a guy who's so obviously terrible...
00:36:19
Speaker
like, actually face consequences. Yeah, especially when he's kind of a fictional stand-in for someone who should face consequences. Yeah, he's he's definitely, again, he's definitely Vince McMahon, but he looks like Paul Heyman. So every line of dialogue of his, I'd breed in a Paul Heyman voice.
00:36:39
Speaker
Yeah, I think that was a really smart move on Kyle's part to not make him like a full one-for-one stand-in Vince McMahon. But, you know, Real heads, no. Yeah, I mean, as far as we know, Vince McMahon never directly was never directly involved in anyone's murder. Now, he covered some up.
00:37:02
Speaker
ah But Buddy Hansen has definitely directly been involved in murders, and that is a key part of this story. Yeah. I love that the the the kind of fake back matter...
00:37:16
Speaker
Of this book. Has also told its own. Five part story. There's just like. like There's so much. Everything I love about Kyle's stuff. Is in here. It's great.
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah and and there's also like a little epilogue. um That. Potentially could set up more. ah But. Also like very neatly. Wraps this up.
00:37:43
Speaker
Well, WrestleHeist 2 has to take place in three different cities.
00:37:48
Speaker
That's right. Kyle, i hope i hope you're listening and that's what WrestleHeist 2 ends up being. ah But yeah, this is this series was an absolute gem.
00:38:01
Speaker
And Kyle still got it.
00:38:09
Speaker
He still got it.
00:38:12
Speaker
ah Up next, I want to discuss Death Fight Forever number three. We talked about number one of this series. We did not talk about number two. um Number two was a pretty direct continuation of number one with the same artist, who was Alexis Zerritt.
00:38:32
Speaker
um This issue, issue three, has a different artist, um Al Gofa. And it it has a different feel from the first two issues in some ways.
00:38:44
Speaker
It's interesting how this series...
00:38:49
Speaker
The genre kind of changed, but its commitment to being like an homage to... video games of the 80s and early 90s is still very much part of it. like what What it went from is being a Contra slash Ikari Warriors to being a Streets of Rage.
00:39:10
Speaker
if With a little bit of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yeah, it felt... it The boss fight, as I was reading it, felt very toyetic.
00:39:21
Speaker
And then I realized that it was because it's a TMNT video game thing. Like, they fight a crocodile man who, after they beat him up, turns back into a crocodile. Yes, yes.
00:39:32
Speaker
It's a hoot. It's a... it's a it's This book... um like we We were comparing it to Bedmara stuff. with the first issue and it still is that for sure.
00:39:45
Speaker
Um, to a degree, but is, it is also very much like its own thing and, uh, just super fun. There's a, there's like a, uh, it's not a two plate page splash. Cause it doesn't,
00:39:59
Speaker
It's not a splash page because there's some panels across the bottom, but there is like a piece of art across two panels where Bash Biggle is um like riding his motorcycle into a warehouse.
00:40:13
Speaker
ah that it it's It rules. It's so good.
00:40:18
Speaker
ah Really fun stuff. And and like the issue two was the origin story of um Sergeant Mendoza and how she and Bash Bigel like ended up teaming up against the big bad. And that's a lot of fun, too.
00:40:34
Speaker
One last book we're going to talk about that I have not read, but you have, Chris, is Swamp Thing 88, which
00:40:42
Speaker
which is Swamp Thing 1989. It's Swamp Thing 1989, but the the number on the on the cover is number 88. Yes.
00:40:53
Speaker
yeah Continuing the 80s Swamp Thing numbering. Yes, which there was a Swamp Thing number 88 and 89 and so on. And if you know the story behind that, you'll know that it's because Rick Veach left the book...
00:41:07
Speaker
after ah the story that he had pitched and got approved and got like really far into making, got the axe from DC, ah simply because Swamp Thing became the cross upon which Jesus was crucified.
00:41:20
Speaker
Correct. yeah How silly. How silly. How how ridiculous. what What were they thinking? Yeah. ah And so instead, Doug Wheeler came on, took over, did a a different wrap-up to that story,
00:41:34
Speaker
Now they're finally publishing it. And this is presented as a 1989 DC comic. like it has the Like, it has some original ads. And it has like a checklist ah for, like, here's what's out from DC this week with stuff like like Legion 89 No. 6 and Animal Man
00:42:02
Speaker
And Will Payton's Starman number 12, a comic that a lot of people read and really liked. but Apparently. Apparently, i I misspoke about Will Payton's Starman, which had a ton of fans and is very fondly remembered by Patrick O'Duffy.
00:42:25
Speaker
Specifically. Like, the back cover is an ad for Batman 89. Yeah. And there's like a subscription ad for Action Comics that you can, for and only $9, you can get a subscription to Justice League Europe. They should not print that, by the way, if that's not for real.
00:42:42
Speaker
I agree. like You gotta live up to that promise. Sorry. ah Matt, for you, there's a ah there there's a house ad for for Hawk World.
00:42:55
Speaker
Yeah, man. Tim Truman. But what what kind of blew my mind about this, in addition to the fact that it has that kind of facsimile printing, which is something I'm always fascinated by, because the the only thing that I don't like about like reprints is that I do think ads, particularly house ads, give you like a really good...
00:43:21
Speaker
snapshot of like what's going on culturally and in comics at the time. like That's something that i I wish we got more of. is like DC did those ah Millennium Editions, I think they were, 26 years ago, ah where they would reprint like an entire comic, including the ads. and I always thought that was really cool.
00:43:41
Speaker
oh But the other thing is... like Boy, this just drops you right into Swamp Thing number, as though Swamp Thing 87 came out last month. So if you don't recall what happened in the Rick feature on Swamp Thing, you might be a little bit lost.
00:43:59
Speaker
i There is an explanation on the letters page, which is absolutely in the format and style of the 1980s Swamp Thing letters page.
00:44:11
Speaker
Yes, and I believe there's a... On that oh Inside Front cover that also has like the the DC list, there is like a text page that is kind of written in character, but I believe is new.
00:44:27
Speaker
Well, there's a Johnny DC column. yeah And also, um they really went for it. On that letters page, it says that the... ah The the pulp president and publisher is Jeanette Kahn.
00:44:45
Speaker
Amazing. Yeah. ah They do also ah reprint the ah the cover. like the like the the yeah The original The original proposed cover, which is Swamp Thing is the cross.
00:44:59
Speaker
Yeah, wild stuff. Wild stuff. And it's it's great to finally get this story. ah Because I'd heard about it for years, and it's been one of my favorite little pieces of comics trivia of like, hey, do you about how Swan Thing was going to be Jesus?
00:45:12
Speaker
But here it is, and like, yep, it is exactly as described, Golden Gladiator's in it. Golden Gladiator sex with Mary Magdalene in this comic, if that's if that's what you're interested in seeing.
00:45:25
Speaker
And like my question my question is definitely, like who is this for? But I know who it's for. It's it's us. It's for me. It's it's for the real heads.
00:45:36
Speaker
yeah it like I have the same question. Are there enough of us who know that this existed to warrant printing it? And apparently there are. And I'm glad there are. I am glad this exists.
00:45:52
Speaker
ah I think it's wild that they did it as an issue. that we're going to get more of and finish out the story of Swamp Thing going back to Adam and Eve.
00:46:03
Speaker
a Spoiler warning, but you could probably guess that's where this was going. yeah ah And not just publishing it as like, with the other issues in the story as like ah ah a paperback.
00:46:17
Speaker
And also like, I mean, kudos to the the editors of this. Jeanette Conn. I think ah Karen Berger is is listed here. but I guess it really is Karen Berger, right? i mean she She would have been the editor of the original.
00:46:39
Speaker
Yeah, but i' like it so it seems like she really came back to to edit um with with another editor, Alex Gaylor. um But good on them for also like getting... They didn't get Tom Yates.
00:46:56
Speaker
But they did get ah Michael Zooli and Vince Locke, who have very believably drawn a comic that looks like it's from 1989. Yes.
00:47:10
Speaker
i mean i I feel like some of this is from 89. Could be. could like it it very much It very much could be. I mean, the script is probably just the the script exactly as it was written. yeah As I recall, it like it got almost to the point of coming out.
00:47:30
Speaker
yeah And it was just the cover that ended up being canceled, which call which led to Rick Veach walking away from the book. i like I don't know that these artists are the artists that would would have been on it then.
00:47:46
Speaker
um But, yeah. Also, you know what? Good on Rick Veach for waiting 40 years to be proven right. Oh, no. Michael Zooli died in So,
00:48:01
Speaker
this art definitely was from nineteen eighty nine okay
00:48:07
Speaker
Yes, he he he illustrated this in 1993. What a great example of playing the fucking long game. yes Rick Veach walking away being like, you'll be back.
00:48:22
Speaker
okay And then here we are 37 years later. Okay, so this was not drawn in 1989. I'm looking this up right now. okay This was not drawn in 1989 when Rick Veach quit.
00:48:34
Speaker
when rick fech quit Michael Zooli drew this in 1993, or drew a good chunk of it in 1993. And then it never got printed then either. And it is only seeing the light of day now.
00:48:53
Speaker
But that that explains it. ah It was not drawn at the time. It was drawn four years later, then not published. Then Michael Zooli died and two years ago, which I guess Vince Locke must have finished it.
00:49:11
Speaker
And now, and now we have it. You know, for years, I feel like people like us, people like you and I have been advocating for like making comics more accessible and making comics that like, you know, capitalizing on the fact that, that people do like superheroes and they like these stories. And so,
00:49:31
Speaker
you know get Get them out there in this medium. Fuck that. I'm done with that. Now i'm like, make comics four heads only for the real sickos. Not the way you've been doing it.
00:49:43
Speaker
Like this. Like this. Yeah. make the Make the shit next. Do um that... ah What was it called? It was the thing where like they were going to Superman and then it got scrapped.
Anime and Sword Ratings
00:50:00
Speaker
Oh, Superman 2000? Superman 2000. Do Superman 2000 next. Give me that Mark Waid run on Superman. Yeah. From 27 years ago. Yeah. Do Superman 2000 next.
00:50:13
Speaker
All right. That's going to do it for our comic segment. Chris, that means now it's time to rate some swords. Let's do it. but when i swing my swords that ya'all cho pool Since our last one to ten of sword's episode Chris has now watched Kill La Kill.
00:50:33
Speaker
Yes. A show for absolute freak perverts. Yeah. No, if it really is. it like It is one of those things just like, hey, I watched this. Everyone was right. I really enjoyed it.
00:50:47
Speaker
I cannot recommend it to anyone. Like, I cannot in good conscience recommend it. But I enjoyed it. But it is for freak-o-perverts. And look, look, look, I never said I wasn't one.
00:51:05
Speaker
I just said a lot of things are made for for Freako perverts and and sometimes they're really hard to get past.
00:51:16
Speaker
But yeah, I really liked Kill la Kill, Matt. It turns out um same ah head writer as Kamen Rider Forze. Yeah. Which, ah long time ah long-time listeners will know, is like my favorite superhero story of the 21st century.
00:51:33
Speaker
Fair enough. Yeah. So, we are here to talk about Ryuko's scissor blade. Which is one half of a giant pair of scissors.
00:51:44
Speaker
Now... The other half of the pair of scissors, is that a matched set of swords? Should we be ra rating these together? No, because for the majority of the series, they are separate.
00:51:59
Speaker
Okay. ah And and they are they are kind of like functionally the same. And when they are together, they are not used as swords. They're used as a giant pair of scissors.
00:52:13
Speaker
Interesting. Okay. yeah Okay. Here's the thing. The scissor blade is pretty cool, but it's not like, it's not the thing, right?
00:52:23
Speaker
Like, the thing that gives Ryuko her powers is is Senkets, which is the uniform that she looks at and goes, why does it look like that? And someone else in the cast goes, oh, your dad was a pervert.
00:52:36
Speaker
That's why. So even the show acknowledges. Oh, no, the show fully knows it is for freak nasty perverts.
00:52:45
Speaker
Like, by the end of it, and one of the things that I think kind of maybe redeems it a little bit is that the entire cast is just naked. Yeah, i I think I have been told this, yeah. Yeah.
00:52:58
Speaker
like Like, you don't see anything, but everybody's just naked. Because it's ah hard to explain that, but clothes are alive. Okay, sure.
00:53:09
Speaker
And it's, i I was talking to our friend Ben Gully about this, who described it as like, like, the thing where like, if someone walked in and you were watching it, this is the thing you most do not want to watch.
00:53:28
Speaker
Because you can't, you can't explain be like, well, wait, hang on. is No, but see, this, These characters, oh they're actually more complex. Like, you can't. There's nothing you can do.
00:53:42
Speaker
yeah But I was telling him that, like... No, no, no. This is feminist like Bayonetta. No, it's feminist like like Bayonetta. which Which I totally get. And which I do, would cosign. But I... Very clearly to me, someone heard someone say...
00:54:01
Speaker
well, now, is she wearing the dress or is the dress wearing her? And then decided to make 25 episodes of an anime about it. Sure. ah Well, that they beat everybody else to it, I guess. so Yeah.
00:54:13
Speaker
So, it's it i mean, it's wild, Matt. it There's a lot going on. But Senkets is the thing that gives Ryuko her powers. Okay. And like people's uniforms and clothing are what give them powers. The scissor blade...
00:54:31
Speaker
doesn't really like It's not that it doesn't do anything, but it's it's kind of just a sword. Except that it does have a special um attack called decapitation mode, where it gets way longer.
00:54:47
Speaker
Like, like it a part of it hinges out. Oh. Uh-huh. ah Which is which is is dope as hell, actually. So for a certain type of use, for when it needs to be used, it gets longer.
00:55:03
Speaker
okay yep No. don't. No. No. It's decapitation mode, Matt. It's wholesome. It's for cutting people's heads off.
00:55:16
Speaker
Uh-huh. I just sent you a picture of decapitation mode. Okay. Okay. Well, I mean, you know... Like, if we start doing that and that, we're gonna have to talk about every fucking sword.
00:55:27
Speaker
Yeah. it It does look cool. ah No, i think I think it is. Like, it is a very cool look, and it's a very striking look. And it is also, like, it works thematically because the whole thing is about clothes.
00:55:40
Speaker
Right. So, while I cannot really recommend Kill la Kill, I feel like I can recommend the Scissorblade. Okay. Okay.
00:55:52
Speaker
The scissor blade, I think, is good, actually. All right. What's the number? This is all you. Well, like I said, it doesn't really do much on its own.
00:56:05
Speaker
But I think it's like very much like Jack's Katana, where it's like, oh, that's just cool. you know like that's just That's just a katana. yeah So i would I would give it the same number. I would give it a seven.
00:56:17
Speaker
Okay, seven it is. We finally got there. We finally raided the scissor blade from Kill to Kill. Alright, here's our next submission. It is from Jolene.
00:56:33
Speaker
The sword of the silver crystal from Sailor Moon is wielded by Sailor Venus to kill Queen Beryl. This is also known as the holy sword. lot of people have swords in Sailor Moon.
00:56:47
Speaker
And Sailor Moon is not one of them. which is a bummer. Sailor Moon just has like a staff, right? Well, Sailor Moon has a lot of things. Mostly wands.
00:56:58
Speaker
Wands, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this this sword does not show up often. Like... It... It pretty much like shows up, is used to ah Murder Queen Beryl and...
00:57:15
Speaker
ah oh And that's it. I think it's around for three chapters of the manga. It's pretty cool. like it looks It looks a lot like...
00:57:31
Speaker
you You know that I shan't speak a word against my queen, Naoko Takeuchi.
00:57:39
Speaker
But I do think Naoko Takeuchi did not think about swords as much as, say, I do.
00:57:46
Speaker
Probably not. I think that's fair to say. I don't think that was her focus, no. No. So it's got, like, a weird handle. It doesn't seem very ergonomic, but it is cool.
00:57:57
Speaker
Like, I do like it. Like, it's made out of crystal. That's cool. I mean, Matt, fucking everything in Sailor Moon is made out of crystals. It's all fucking rocks. and i And look, I say this as someone with a Sailor Moon tattoo. I love Sailor Moon. Do not get me wrong.
00:58:13
Speaker
But there's a lot of block crystals in it. lot of crystals. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Alright. What's the number?
00:58:26
Speaker
ah I don't think it's as good as the Scissorblade. i'll I'll say that. I prefer Queen Beryl to be vaporized ah by the power of friendship. Which is what happens in the anime. Okay.
00:58:38
Speaker
ah Everybody puts their hand, ah all the ghosts, after all the senshi are crucified. Boy, that happens a lot. Swamp Thing, Sailor Moon.
00:58:49
Speaker
I prefer that. But it is a sword. I just wish... like sailor Sailor Uranus has a sword that she like never uses. I mean, she not really.
00:59:01
Speaker
She doesn't use it like you know like a sword should be used, which is all the time.
00:59:09
Speaker
So, we're saying six? i'm going to say six, yeah. You can see the picture that I put into the spreadsheet. if you want to like see what I mean about the handle. Yeah, yeah.
00:59:20
Speaker
Six... Like, five is like a baseline. Six is pretty good. is six Six is above average. Yeah, yeah. ah Five is like a C. Six is like a B-. minus And I think this is a B-. minus so Our next submission is from John Seiler, who says, Based on December's conversations...
00:59:43
Speaker
Which, let's not go back into the... December-ist conversations? No, a conversation from December. Oh, I thought you meant conversations about mariners and harpsichords and shit.
00:59:55
Speaker
The Infanta? Yeah. ah No, but based on December's conversations, I'm submitting one of Mega Man 8's Robot Masters, Swordman.
01:00:07
Speaker
He was built by Dr. Wiley to use an ancient sword that he stole from a museum, which was equipped on his right arm. However, the sword was too heavy to maneuver, so the upper and lower parts of his body were fitted with an anti-gravitational device to stabilize him, and as such, both halves of his body can act independently to improve his balance. He's also disciplined, a good sport, and has a strong sense of honor, as he enjoys fair fights and positively noted Mega Man skills during their duel.
01:00:33
Speaker
He has a strong interest in the Japanese martial art of Yeah. and dislikes faulty swords and chiped blades his main attack is fla is is flamesw swordared and attack that develops is sword with flames for extra damage swordman can also attack by spinning his upper part rapidly to cut enemies and drop heavy statues Here's the thing.
01:00:54
Speaker
That's not a sword. Swordman is not a sword. His arm is arguably a sword. We could rank the sword. We could rank the sword. But Swordman is not a sword. He's a guy. He's a robot. He's a guy. He's a robot. He's a robot. Yeah.
01:01:12
Speaker
Like the robot masters are sentient creatures. He's a, he's a sword man. Well, we have, we have swords that are sentient and say, yeah but on the list, but, but if you take the, if you look, if you took this sword away from him, he would still be a guy.
01:01:32
Speaker
He would still be a robot that, yeah, that, that operated. He'd be like, Oh fuck my arm. He would definitely be like, Oh fuck my arm. Yeah. Um,
01:01:44
Speaker
He says that, actually, in Mega Man 8. ah Yeah, you can hear it. it it's It's quiet um in his boss fight, but he does say, oh, fuck, my arm. Oh, fuck, Mega Man, you... Oh, shit!
01:01:59
Speaker
Right before he goes pew, pew, pew, pew. Yeah. yeah You listed off that he's a good he's a good sport with a strong sense of honor. That's a that's a person.
01:02:13
Speaker
That's a person, dude. Well, look, there's a โ as we've said, there are swords that are alive on the list. like like you know Yes.
01:02:24
Speaker
Beacon but is alive. Beacon is alive. The the singing sword arguably is alive. alive?
01:02:32
Speaker
The singing sword has a face and talks โ so like We're very close to getting into you defining what it means to be alive, Matt, and I don't know if we can go down that road. We cannot go down that road. but ah So there are swords that are
01:02:52
Speaker
ah alive, that are sentient, that are on the list, but this is not one of them. Sword Man is separate from his sword, which is his arm. Yes. Like, very clearly, this is a guy with a sword.
01:03:06
Speaker
Yeah.
01:03:08
Speaker
Did you say Lagiri, by the way? ah i i don't I'm not familiar with this. Iagiri. Iagiri.
01:03:21
Speaker
Iagiri, that's right, yes. yeah I'm not familiar with that martial art. It's the it's when you draw your sword really fast. either Oh, cool. yeah um Anyway, i we can rate the sword. can rate Swordband Sword.
01:03:37
Speaker
I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Back of the line, send Swordman's sword. You don't just you don't just get to send in a guy.
01:03:51
Speaker
I'm going to say, preview, Swordman's sword sucks. Yeah, it's too heavy. It's too heavy, and it's got like it's not even sharp.
01:04:05
Speaker
It's got like a completely blunt, flat edge. Yeah, I'm looking at it now, and I thought that was like a bevel, but it does in fact... It's not. It's just like a flat... It's a pointy.
01:04:18
Speaker
It's pointy, but the edge is totally flat. Yeah. It's not sharp. It's like... It's like a... so it's It's like a sword in name only. Like...
01:04:30
Speaker
it It's not good. yeah i think like Here's the thing. I think Swordman, as like a character, is actually like a really cool design with like the the split top and bottom. I think that's really cool, actually.
01:04:44
Speaker
like A really great leader-era robot master design. um But if we're ranking the sword as a sword, yeah, it's bad. yeah But we're not, I guess. so these I've seen these robots pick up like big big, cubic blocks of stone.
01:05:03
Speaker
You're telling me this sword? You're telling me this sword is too heavy? That's too heavy. Apparently. Apparently. You think Guts could use it? Gutsman? No, Guts.
01:05:15
Speaker
Oh, Guts. Probably, yeah. I don't think you'd want to, though, because it's because that it's weird and flat. Weird and flat. now Now, the Dragon Slayer's sharp, right?
01:05:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. ah I also, I'm not a huge fan of like the design on the blade either. I like the design on the blade. ah the the the The fact that it, you know, you it can it can it can ignite is cool.
01:05:45
Speaker
but But do we know that the sword itself can do that and not the robot holding the sword? Well, we're not raiding it, so we don't have to know. But ah but yeah. Yeah, but you can't you can't just send in sword man. that's um that's that what's no He's not a man.
01:06:00
Speaker
All right, here's another one that's going to make you mad. It's from Patrick O'Duffy.
01:06:05
Speaker
let Patrick says, hi guys, let me preface this by saying that I thought about submitting S.W.O.R.D. the Sentient World Observation and Response Department, but I didn't because I knew it would make Chris mad. Instead, I want to submit Peak 7, S.W.O.R.D.' 's sword-shaped space station, which may or may not make him less mad.
01:06:25
Speaker
I will say this, okay? It is a space station. i mean, Patrick says it's a space station, but it's still a sword. That's true. It's been used as a gigantic sword.
01:06:37
Speaker
Has it been used as a sword? Well, it was used as like a like a big thing that crashed into they crashed into Earth. So fucking no.
01:06:49
Speaker
So nobody has wielded it, I don't think. No. I wish you could see my face right now. I wish you could see how mad I am. good Patrick says that... Yeah, actually, like fucking...
01:07:03
Speaker
fucking Galactus showed up and grabbed this thing like a sword and used it to fight Annihilus or whatever, I'd be like, oh shit, that's dope. We can rank that. yeah But fucking come on.
01:07:16
Speaker
I'm so mad.
01:07:20
Speaker
it's It could be used as a sword. No, it couldn't! It's a building! Eternity could could grab it and swing it around. Well, first of all, Matt, it's too small for eternity.
01:07:37
Speaker
Second of all, you look at this thing and tell me if you think that it has the structural integrity to be picked up and swung like a sword. Well, we don't know. We don't know. It doesn't.
01:07:49
Speaker
why why do you think Why do people do this? There's so many swords. You think it would fall apart? Yes! Okay. I think if i think if if Galactus, because Galactus is variable in size and is is big enough to to do this.
01:08:06
Speaker
I don't know. Who who else is big? Giant Man? like giant Giant Man's not big enough. Hank Pym is not not big enough. Giant Man is not big enough. It's it's got to be like...
01:08:19
Speaker
Maybe that like Avengers mech could wield it, potentially? Let's go ah Galactus. Galactus is the easiest choice, yeah. Yeah, because he can he can get bigger.
01:08:34
Speaker
And also, yeah, he can he can change his size. so yeah And also, is he's his shape is determined by his observer. um
01:08:47
Speaker
If Galactus grabbed this thing... Because it is sword-shaped, right? like It's got like it's got like the the ring around where the hilt would be. in the scal it's um it's It's roughly sword-shaped. Roughly sword-shaped.
01:09:01
Speaker
Yeah. If he grabbed it and started swinging it around, he would crush it.
01:09:13
Speaker
And then it would like break in half. Yeah. Because it's not sharp. And it's not pointed. It is in no way a sort. I'm so ah i'm so angry.
01:09:25
Speaker
It's a little pointed. And it hurts because Patrick's a friend. You know? I've i've had a meal with Patrick O'Dooghue.
01:09:38
Speaker
I would say it's it's roughly pointed. It's not, though. I mean, in ah in a relative sense, I don't think it's sharp at all.
01:09:52
Speaker
are we Are we looking at the same picture? Are we looking at Peak 7? I'm looking at Peak 7, yeah. Okay. with the With the trees and shit. Space trees. with With the space trees, yeah. Those must be Krakoa trees.
01:10:06
Speaker
Probably. Probably. ah Okay, there's another image that Patrick sent that makes it look a little more...
01:10:17
Speaker
sorty he I just sent that to you. but If you can show me where someone picked this thing up and swung or stabbed it in against another thing, I will reconsider. But this shit's a building, dude.
01:10:42
Speaker
Or it's a space station, yeah. Yeah, it's a building. Space Station is just buildings. In space. it Floating around. Yeah.
01:10:53
Speaker
It did, it fell to Earth and like, and I was going to say impaled Earth, but that's that's probably not the right term. Well, it's certainly not big enough for that.
01:11:06
Speaker
Impaled means it would go through.
01:11:11
Speaker
Sure. Stabbed. but i'll just say We'll just say stabbed. Don't you dare stay stabbed.
01:11:18
Speaker
It was exploding and breaking up ah while that happened. At the best. At best. And it's not. It's so far away from this. But at best, that would make it a javelin.
01:11:34
Speaker
I don't think it's long enough to be a javelin. Well, it's certainly in a sort. I'm saying if it was if it fell as in as in gravity and momentum were doing the job, that's more like a javelin than a sword.
01:11:51
Speaker
I forgot that it doesn't even it's not even shown like going into the ground. Oh, because it it doesn't. That's right.
01:12:02
Speaker
They stop it before it can actually hit Earth. So it doesn't even do that.
01:12:13
Speaker
Why do people know? They know it's not right, Matt. They know it's not right.
01:12:22
Speaker
I think they like hearing you get mad. They know it is they know it is definitely definitionally and morally wrong to do this.
01:12:33
Speaker
Alright, let's move on. Let's move on to our next sword. It's from Ryan Bielek. This is a Warhammer 40k sword. find Okay, this is going to be a sword.
01:12:46
Speaker
It's a sword, but it's one of those combo swords. Okay. Like it's got pretzels on the outside. Yeah, that's right. um This is the humble chainsword. It is a sword that is a chainsaw carried by the Imperial Guard, Sisters of Battle, Space Marines, and anyone else who wants to cut through their enemies. It comes in a variety of styles.
01:13:07
Speaker
um If you need to rate just one design, let's go with the one with the hazard stripes. what So Ryan sent us several different chainswords. I mean, they are all basically the same, just with different designs. Buddy, do you think I don't have multiple chainsword designs handy?
01:13:27
Speaker
ah You know better, Matt. The one with the hazard stripes looks like the fucking... ah Ghostbusters Ghost Traps.
01:13:38
Speaker
um but Yes, except it's a chainsaw. Except it's a chainsaw, yeah. um Now this is a sword. Now this is pod racing, Matt. Now this is pod racing.
01:13:50
Speaker
Is someone keeping track of all the rejected swords? someone you I'm not, because I'm too angry. I'm simply too angry. i'm I'm sure someone could. um Maybe on War Rocket Wiki, they could document all the swords that have been disqualified. The chainsword's great, and here's why.
01:14:12
Speaker
Because Warhammer 40k takes place in the in the year 40,000. It's the grim darkness of the future where there is only war. You know you note this. There's a list of disqualifications on War Rocket Wiki.
01:14:26
Speaker
Okay, good. Yeah. So, it takes place in the future. But they still want to have swords. Because, so you know, swords are great.
01:14:38
Speaker
As evidenced by this very podcast. We love swords. So how do you make a sword future-y? Well, you make it a chainsaw.
01:14:52
Speaker
And give it a trigger. ah But the yeah trigger... it's kind of matt it's got to have a trigger. That's how you turn the chainsaw on. You've got to activate the chainsaw, yeah. yeah yeah here's here's my big Here's what I think is the biggest um liability or downfall of the chainsaw sword.
01:15:08
Speaker
Chainsword, yeah. Or chainsaw, yeah. It's not a very effective sword if this if the chainsaw is not activated.
01:15:19
Speaker
Like, you couldn't just stab somebody with this. no Well, it's certainly not a stabbing weapon. Unpowered. Yeah. I mean, it's still sharp. It's not like an escalator, where if an escalator's not running, it becomes stairs.
01:15:34
Speaker
wolf This is not a sword if it's if you're not powering it. I would say, to that, i would say, Matt, A, unlike your standard chainsaw, if you look closely, the the blade of the chainsaw, it is sharp.
01:15:50
Speaker
Sure. And I, wow, this is the exact image that I also had handy that was sent to us by Ryan. Yeah. um But also it's like, yeah, man, like like we've talked about how a lightsaber is a sword.
01:16:09
Speaker
If a lightsaber is not on, that shit's a paperweight. It's a, yes, it's a, it's a cylinder. It's a short stick. Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:20
Speaker
So, you know, when it is used when it is used as designed, I think, I think it it it works just fine.
01:16:33
Speaker
I guess like but my big question is, like is this more of a sword or more of a chainsaw? Oh, I think it's definitely a sword. Because a chainsaw is a tool. Like, we had this conversation about the machete.
01:16:46
Speaker
Like, a machete is not a sword, because a machete is a tool. A chainsword is a sword because it is a weapon. And not a tool. You wouldn't use it to cut down a tree.
01:16:58
Speaker
You wouldn't use it to cut down a tree. You could, but you could also use a sword to cut down a tree if you had to. It's just not what it's meant for. Right. Okay.
01:17:08
Speaker
Okay.
01:17:12
Speaker
But yeah, I like the chainsword. I think the chainsword is one of those things where it's like, That's, that's, it's dumb in like a good way. It's dumb in like a hell yeah way.
01:17:24
Speaker
i mean, i it' it's comparable to like a gun blade. i think it's a little bit better than a gun blade because it is still like a gun is a very different thing. This is at least in the cutting family.
01:17:39
Speaker
In the cutting family. Yeah. Like, you would swing this as you would swing a sword, but also it's chainsaw. Well, we gave the gunblade, the Squall's gunblade from Final Fantasy VIII, we gave that a seven.
01:17:54
Speaker
That's so high.
01:17:58
Speaker
I think this is also probably
01:18:02
Speaker
ah seven at most. I think I'm comfortable giving it a seven. Okay, I wouldn't take it up to 8. I wouldn't take it up to 8. I wouldn't take it up to 8. Because it's it's kind of like... I mean, it's silly, and it knows it's silly, and that's fine. And good. yeah Also, I think it's worth noting, I think if you want to get into the 8, 9, 10 range, you're looking at a unique like named thing, probably.
01:18:31
Speaker
yeah Whereas the Chainsword, it's kind of like standard issue for for Space Marines.
01:18:40
Speaker
Right. Okay. Our next submission is from John Seiler, but we've already taken a submission from John Seiler in this episode, so I am going to skip this one.
01:18:52
Speaker
But I will hopefully maybe come back to this one, because I do think it is worth rating. Okay. Here's one from Rocket Witzel, who notes that ah the submission has a word in it that can be taken as offensive.
01:19:09
Speaker
And tells me to use my best judgment in talking about it. I think I just have to say what it is. It's the name of a thing from a movie. so i I do not like this feeling of dread and anticipation I am feeling.
01:19:24
Speaker
Okay. What Rocket has submitted is the GD-6 chainsword wielded by the Jaeger Gypsy Danger in the film Pacific Rim. That is the name of the...
01:19:38
Speaker
Jaeger in the movie. It's also spelled differently. But yes, that that is a word that and you know prefer not to use.
01:19:50
Speaker
But it is the name of the Jaeger in the movie. I remember watching this movie when it came out and enjoying it. But this sword, which is a chainsword, so it's like it sort of like snaps into rigidity.
01:20:07
Speaker
And other times hangs limp. You can't. You can't do this, Matt. It doesn't... It comes out in sections and then and then it becomes a sword.
01:20:20
Speaker
Yes. ah But it's... i My recollection of it is that it's not quite what you want it to be. Like... Cool, but not quite as cool as...
01:20:37
Speaker
Maybe it could be. I think it's like, i when when I'm thinking about like big mecha kind of stuff, mechs versus kaijus, that kind of thing, i kind of want things to be a little more fantastical, and it feels like this is, a lot of the stuff in Pacific Rim, actually, is is like meant to be like functional in a way I don't need it to be.
01:21:02
Speaker
You know what I mean? Well, Matt, that is a patently ridiculous opinion that you have.
01:21:10
Speaker
Okay. That's upsetting, and and i I disagree. Okay. In the strongest possible terms. Okay.
01:21:21
Speaker
Matt, they hit a button with sword on it. it does The button does say sword. That is true. The sword button... We have so many friends...
01:21:35
Speaker
Jordan Witt, Jay Edited, Katie Donnelly. People who saw that sword button and lost their fucking minds. And I would say you can add another friend to that number, and it's Chris Sims.
01:21:54
Speaker
But is this what you really wanted when the button got hit? like Yes. Okay. It's exactly what I wanted. like i I love it when there's like like a mechanical thing.
01:22:11
Speaker
like I really like the sort of mechanical aspects of the Yeagers in Pacific Rim. How they they are not realistic or plausible, but the mechanics of them. I think that's very cool.
01:22:28
Speaker
And this one had a sword. Matt, and the sword came out, and it it started... And I love that it's, like, the secret weapon that they wait until the end.
01:22:42
Speaker
That's very Power Rangers ah of of of it. Yeah, because it shouldn't be. The secret weapon, like, the the the thing that's going to really take out the monsters should be a gun.
01:22:55
Speaker
Like a big laser beam, yeah. Yeah, like but it's not. It's a sword. Why? Because swords are awesome. And i like that.
01:23:08
Speaker
I'm just saying, this is mechs versus kaijus. A laser beam should have shot out of the sword. I mean, it's like, that's implausible, Matt.
01:23:22
Speaker
You're on a flight of fancy right now. Right, that's the that's the bridge to Var. And I will
Movie Critiques and Sword Debates
01:23:30
Speaker
say, we had to pause recording for a moment. And AC came in here and she was like, why are you looking at ah ah Pacific Rim? And I was like, oh, because we're ranking the GD6 chainsword.
01:23:41
Speaker
And she goes, that's a good sword. So you know this sword has appeal beyond just sword guys. Yeah. Hmm.
01:23:53
Speaker
Hmm. Hmm.
01:23:58
Speaker
Yes, perhaps I'm asking too much of it, but... I actually really like that it it like has like the segments that like kind of like come out like a rope and then all clatter back together in Formasaurus. I think that's really cool.
01:24:12
Speaker
No, I don't mind that. i mean the the The notion of that is that this is how it fits into the arm of the mech, right? Yes. um like Somebody thought through...
01:24:27
Speaker
not realism, but believability. Yeah. Of like, how, how would this thing really contain a sword? yeah And this is what they came up with. And it, and it does make some plausible degree of sense. Um, and I like, I don't mind that. I don't mind that.
01:24:48
Speaker
Um, I just like, i don't know. One of the things i I... Look, I had a bad movie theater experience when I went to see Pacific Rim 2, so maybe that's coloring this as well.
01:25:01
Speaker
Some dudes who just wouldn't shut the fuck up in the theater. um
01:25:08
Speaker
But I just remember like thinking like the movie could have been more The movie was trying too hard to be plausible.
01:25:20
Speaker
And I don't need that. I don't need that when my giant mechs are fighting Kaiju from other dimensions. No, I will say, I never saw i never saw the second one.
01:25:32
Speaker
The second one was not as good, for sure. But I also, i don't know how you can, you cannot blame a theater experience on the sword, Matt. I'm not. I'm just saying that may have colored my opinion of all of it ah to a degree.
01:25:49
Speaker
um I think I'm lower on this than you. ah so So give me a number and and we'll find we'll find the spot. Oh yeah, man. I fucking love this thing. okay I think this thing rules.
01:26:02
Speaker
There's a button, and they hit the button, the button says sword, and when they hit the sword button, the sword comes out. Okay, but the button is not the sword. The button is just the thing that deploys the sword. The sword mechanism.
01:26:15
Speaker
it's It deploys the sword. It's not the sword itself. Much like the the scabbard the that is a gun that shoots the sword. It is part of the package, I think.
01:26:29
Speaker
It is how the sword is deployed. yeah Also, this sword is like, what, 50 feet long, at least? Probably, yeah. That's probably right.
01:26:39
Speaker
Yeah.
01:26:42
Speaker
It's big.
01:26:45
Speaker
It's ah is ah is a big sword. And I like that.
01:26:51
Speaker
I would give this thing at least an 8. You could probably talk me into a 9. Yeah. um Okay, so my first thought was six. So, if you're... ah Seven or eight is what it's got to be.
01:27:11
Speaker
i I think this is... I think it's better than a lot of the stuff we have at seven. I don't, but, you know, if if you're this high on it, I'll allow it.
01:27:29
Speaker
I don't โ the last thing I want to do, Matt Wilson, the last thing I want to do is try and override your sort opinions. No, i here's what i'll here's what I'll say.
01:27:40
Speaker
I'll give you eight on this, but you've got to give me one later. But that's โ okay. All right. All right.
01:27:49
Speaker
Settled. It is an eight. Because I admit that I'm maybe kind of being a grump about this and โ Just because it's not the thing I want it to be doesn't make it bad.
01:28:02
Speaker
But nonetheless. Okay. all right
01:28:09
Speaker
Alright. I mainly agree to this because I have a hard time imagining a sword that you're going to want to give an 8 to that I won't. Well, we'll see what happens. We'll have to see what happens. Yeah.
01:28:21
Speaker
Life is a mystery. And a highway. And everyone must stand alone.
01:28:30
Speaker
Alright, this
The Librarian Series Discussion
01:28:31
Speaker
sword is submitted by to us by Andrew Curl, who has another Excalibur for us. This is Cal, the sentient flying sword from the Librarian movie TV series starring Noah Wiley.
01:28:46
Speaker
I don't know if I've seen... I've seen it at least one of these, and I've watched the TV show where... ah ah John Larroquette plays Lancelot.
01:29:04
Speaker
But I don't know if I've seen these. i I have seen like the end of several of these movies.
01:29:18
Speaker
But that is all I have seen of them. Did they come on before Dynamite? i think that's what of I think that's how I saw them, yeah. ah You know what? I would sit down. i mean, I like them. These are John Rogers oh movies.
01:29:33
Speaker
I would sit down and watch these.
01:29:36
Speaker
Apparently at one point, Eve, played by Rebecca Romijn, holds this sword. Dope.
01:29:44
Speaker
ah that's Eve is just the character's name. Rebecca Romijn does not play the biblical Eve. She's not the biblical Eve? ok No, her her name is just Eve. i Look, I would believe that it was the biblical Eve. I i mean, yeah, a lot of whack shit, or not even whack, but like wild shit happens in oh in the librarians.
01:30:05
Speaker
Yeah. ah like Like Bruce Campbell shows up in his Santa Claus. That's pretty cool. Yeah. He's fun. um i So all I know about this sword is that it flies around.
01:30:17
Speaker
And there's there's a a fight scene where it fights ah Noah Wiley's character. yeah because he's he's the he's the new librarian.
01:30:30
Speaker
Okay, it's in three of the movies. Okay, and and it's in several episodes of the TV show, so I have seen that. It is in several episodes of the TV show. It's only it's in two episodes of season one.
01:30:44
Speaker
one episode of season two and four episodes of season four. This show was on for a long time. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's good stuff.
01:30:56
Speaker
And there's a new version
01:31:00
Speaker
with different actors. Oh, damn. Librarian's the next chapter. Who's in that? Librarian's the next chapter. Well, one of them is a guy who looks kind of like Noah Wiley. Yeah.
01:31:12
Speaker
ah But it's not Noah Wiley. That's Callum McGowan. Okay, okay. So...
01:31:23
Speaker
Librarians, the next chapter.
01:31:28
Speaker
like this guy... ah i like that this guy is dressed like a Doctor Who.
01:31:36
Speaker
Yeah, there's some there's some Doctor Who looking... vibes to that to that new show, for sure. It kind of looks like if Lin-Manuel Miranda was Noah Wiley.
01:31:48
Speaker
Yep.
01:31:50
Speaker
That is exactly what it looks like. I'll watch the shit out of this. Well, maybe you should. I bet it's on HBO Max. Hell yeah. ahs what less You know what?
01:32:03
Speaker
Here's the thing. um I feel like it like this version of Excalibur is kind of like fine. Like, it flies around and fights on its own. Which is not, like, an Excalibur thing.
01:32:17
Speaker
Like, generally. Now, is John Larroquette Lancelot, or is he Jenkins? Or is Jenkins secretly Lancelot? Jenkins is secretly Lancelot. Oh, no. He's Galahad.
01:32:28
Speaker
Oh, Galahad. That's what it is. He's Galahad. Yeah.
Zanshato Sword Appreciation
01:32:33
Speaker
Sorry, I'm trying to find out if Librarians is on HBO Max. I mean, i it has to be, right? it's a show that The show was on last year. Let's see. Let's see.
01:32:48
Speaker
Actually, it's not. No. It's not on here. What? What the fuck, HBO Max? That's whack. Get me Zaslav on the phone right now.
01:33:00
Speaker
Like, why even have the show on TNT if you're not going to stream it on HBO Max? that's That's nonsense.
01:33:11
Speaker
Ridiculous. No wonder I haven't seen it. Absolutely ridiculous. and They're doing a season two. They're doing a season two. Well, yeah.
01:33:24
Speaker
What the fuck? Now, I think aesthetically, it's just kind of a normal sword. Yeah. And I don't recall enough about it if there's like anything like super notable.
01:33:40
Speaker
About it, other than, i mean, obviously, it can fly and fight on its own. That's pretty notable for a normal sword. But on this list? On this list?
01:33:53
Speaker
On this list? Where we have... We have... Razor Fist Razor Fist? Mm-hmm. I don't know. i don't know if there's... I don't want to give it short shrift.
01:34:09
Speaker
But I also feel like it's like a six.
01:34:15
Speaker
Okay. um I can live with that. I don't know enough about it to really rate it. It looks like a regular sword, more or less. Yes. And I mean, wounds inflicted by it will not heal, which is dope.
01:34:29
Speaker
But I mean... Well, that's an Excalibur thing. and Right? But you could also say that about like a lot of swords, like depending on the wound. Depending on the wound. Many sword wounds are fatal.
01:34:40
Speaker
Many such cases. Yes.
01:34:45
Speaker
The only streaming versions of this of this show that I could find that the new librarians is are on like Daily Motion.
01:34:58
Speaker
Like, what is going on? What is going on? There's shit going on. Daily Motion? I mean, I'm sure that's it's definitely not official, but... No, but I'm saying, like, it wouldn't look... See, this is... The lack of respect that they give to John Rogers.
01:35:22
Speaker
Not to mention my boy Christian Cain.
01:35:26
Speaker
Unbelievable. Unbelievable. we got We're going to take one more for this episode. And this is from... Dugan Nash.
01:35:38
Speaker
I also have to forward you this because I don't think either of us has read this manga. But maybe we can vibes rate this? I think we need to have like a War Rocket Ajax listener meetup so that listener Scott Hall can meet up with listener Nash.
01:35:58
Speaker
Yeah, we can try to make that happen. Alright, Dugan Nash's submission is the Zanshato, aka the Car Cleaver, the Sword of Din, the gigantic cybernetic centaur leader of the Barjack Bandits from Battle Angel Alita.
01:36:15
Speaker
The sword is so huge it has to be transported by crane. Among other things, it was used by Din to slice a gigantic cannon in half. ah From the very first panel, like before the rest of this image that you sent,
01:36:31
Speaker
Loaded. This owns. it It is definitely being transported by a crane. Yeah. It's got like, ah like there there's a truck involved. Yes. yeah This is like that sword from Fist of the North Star that that it takes three guys to swing. But even bigger. But even bigger. yeah Because this guy's big.
01:36:51
Speaker
Because this guy's big, yeah. Now, I have not read Battle Angel Alito. Nor have I. But going by Vibes, this shit owns. Yeah. it it feels very This feels very Fist of the North Star-like.
01:37:06
Speaker
Yes. In that it's dumb, but it rules. Yes, yes. i want to like My dream job, Matt, is driving that truck.
01:37:19
Speaker
Yeah. Is Dan paying people to drive his sword around? He must be. like The only thing I've ever wanted to be as a writer But now I've seen this.
01:37:32
Speaker
And now I'm like, I feel like there's a new calling for me. And it's driving, it's waiting until this guy needs his sword and then driving the truck out. Because I will say this, that truck is booking.
01:37:47
Speaker
Okay. I'm learning about Din now. Okay. ah Din was the founder and leader of the Barjack, a physical manifestation of Chaos's uncontrollable rage.
01:38:01
Speaker
Dope. Din, as he appeared during most of the story, was as a giant remote-controlled unit run from an EPR transmitter embedded in Chaos's chest. Okay.
01:38:15
Speaker
Apparently he's also a centaur.
01:38:18
Speaker
So Din is not... So Din did den is like a remote-controlled robot.
01:38:31
Speaker
Okay. So this is like this is like the Jaeger situation. This is kind of like the Jaeger situation, yeah. Okay.
01:38:41
Speaker
bit But instead of having a secret sword, he has a sword that is brought to him by a truck. On a truck, yeah. I gotta say, I'm thinking about it, and I love that sword button, but if they had hit the sword button and it cut to like some guys sliding down a fire pole...
01:38:56
Speaker
Yeah, man....and getting into a Or like or like getting on a helicopter and bringing a sword to it. don't think a helicopter would be that good. I think it has to be a truck, because I want to see that thing drift.
01:39:11
Speaker
ah Well, I'm thinking about the Jaegers in Pacific Rim often being in the ocean. Uh-huh. maybe Maybe it could be on a big boat. No, no, no, no, no. no no It's on the truck. The truck gets to the docks, slams on the brakes. And it becomes it becomes ah amphibious? No, no, no They slam on the brakes. The sword shoots out.
01:39:36
Speaker
And then the the robot catches it. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, yeah.
01:39:43
Speaker
Man, people should let us make movies. This is this is pretty great. this is I love it. i like I like it, and I love it. I love that it is called The Car Cleaver.
01:39:56
Speaker
That's dope. That's a really good name. And also, like it's a cool-looking sword. Yeah, it's like a cool katana. It's a cool katana that has um like a...
01:40:07
Speaker
ah Like a hilt, like that cross guard kind of looks like it's got holes in it.
01:40:18
Speaker
Like it's where you put the bullets into a six shooter. It's got more than six holes. ah It just, it looks very weapon-y. And I really like that about it. Yeah,
01:40:32
Speaker
man. It's also got a chain hanging off the bottom, which I don't really understand why that's there, but it looks cool. I mean, that's that's in case you drop it, I think.
01:40:43
Speaker
Maybe so. Maybe so.
01:40:48
Speaker
Yes, I like this. I like this. I like this more than the Genie 6 Chain Sword. I think this might be a this might be a sleeper hit, man. This might be like a sleeper 9.
01:41:00
Speaker
This might get me to read Battle Angel Alita. Yeah, for real.
01:41:09
Speaker
I don't think he could get me to watch that movie. Unfortunately. Which I've heard is good. The movie The Big Eyes?
01:41:20
Speaker
Yeah. The movie with the big eyes.
01:41:24
Speaker
But not the movie Big Eyes, which is a different movie. That's a different movie. do you Does this sword show up in that movie? I'll watch it right now. I don't know. Let us know, ah listeners, if this sword shows up in that movie.
01:41:38
Speaker
I hope that there's a part where they slam on the brakes and that sword comes out.
01:41:44
Speaker
that would be That would be pretty tight. That would be tight as hell.
01:41:50
Speaker
I don't know, man. I kind of love it.
01:41:55
Speaker
Nine? i i think it's a nine, yeah. nine Nine. vibe Vibes ranking? Nine. Vibes ranking is a total nine. I mean, i can't imagine that in context it would be worse.
01:42:09
Speaker
um it's it's it It honestly rules. yeah Yeah. no like i I actually checked the machine while we were talking and it it did say that. Everything I said I wanted from except for lasers um from a Pacific Rim is this is it.
01:42:29
Speaker
i I'll say if it wasn't for that truck it would be it would be like an 8. But that that truck puts it over the line. the truck the truck it the the The crane truck is good. yeah The truck is good as hell.
01:42:44
Speaker
All right, that's going
Conclusion and Social Issues Reminder
01:42:45
Speaker
to do it for this edition of One Detentive Swords. If you would like to submit a sword to us to rate, you can email it to us at warrocketpodcast at gmail.com.
01:42:58
Speaker
ah You can also send every story ever list to that email address, as well as listener questions, or you can drop us a line about anything else, including if you want to sponsor the show, you can let us know there.
01:43:16
Speaker
We are on Tumblr, warrocketpodcast.tumblr.com. We are on BlueSky, warrocketajax.com on BlueSky, so follow us there.
01:43:26
Speaker
We have our Patreon, which I mentioned. You can message us there if you want to, patreon.com slash warrocketajax. And also we have a Discord. You have to be invited to become a member of our Discord, but if you ask us nicely for an invitation, we will Get you one, and you can join over there and be part of that community.
01:43:49
Speaker
Our website is warrocketajax.com, and as every episode of the show that we've ever done, warrocketwiki.com is the place to get all the information you could want or need to know about the show of War Rocket Ajax, including which swords have been disqualified from one to ten of swords.
01:44:07
Speaker
If you want to find me and my stuff, go to mattdwilson.net. That's where you can find links to all my stuff. Chris, where can people find you? Everybody can find me by going to the-isb.com.
01:44:19
Speaker
That is my website, and it's got links to things that I have written and ah ways for you to hire me to write them for you. Which you should do. i agree.
01:44:30
Speaker
We'll be back next week. We're going to to do like kind of a weird one next week, because... ah Well, Chris and I can talk about this off mic, but I will be busy next Thursday, so we'll maybe probably have to pre-record an episode or something.
01:44:45
Speaker
um But we will have an episode and and come back for it.
01:44:54
Speaker
Until then, everybody, do not forget that Black Lives Matter. Trans rights are human rights. As are abortion rights. Drag is not a crime. Cops aren't your friends. Fuck ICE. Free Palestine, we love you.
01:45:06
Speaker
We love you.