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Candles in the Dark Shedding Light on Mental Health in the Funeral Community
5 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, Jennifer sits down with Kim Zavrotny of Funeral Peer Support to explore the world of global (peer) support for funeral professionals. The conversation kicks off with Jennifer expressing her admiration for their podcast "Stronger Together" and delving into her personal journey of discovering and connecting with the tight-knit funeral peer support community.
The discussion takes an insightful turn as Jennifer opens up about facing resistance to unconventional attitudes within the funeral profession.
Kim, the driving force behind the peer support group, shares the origin story of this vital community. As they delve into the volunteer nature of the organization, Kim sheds light on the heartfelt commitment that fuels this network.
Tune in to gain valuable insights into the impactful work of this volunteer-driven global community!
Key Topics:
-Exploring the Unconventional Perspectives Within the Funeral Profession
-Origin Story of the Funeral Peer Support Group
-Certification and Licensing in the Funeral Profession
-Contemplation of Death and Mental Health
Quotes From The Episode:
What we want to do is we want to be that that person or that entity that people have to turn to
- Kim Zavrotny
But if it's not helpful for one person, does that mean it shouldn't be done at all?.
- Jennifer Muldowney
Timestamp:
[00:00] Podcast Intro
[01:25] Kim discussed the global peer support network for funeral professionals
[04:35] Jennifer expresses admiration for the podcast "Stronger Together" and shares their personal journey of discovering and connecting with the funeral peer support community.
[6:46] Jennifer discusses encountering resistance to unconventional attitudes in the funeral profession
[09:39] Kim shares the origin story of the peer support group
[12:31] Kim explains the volunteer nature of the organization
[15:35] Kim provides the website link for donations and information about sponsorship levels
[18:20] Podcast Outro
Connect with Kim Zavrotny
Linkedin - linkedin.com/in/kimberly-zavrotny-37485426
Website - https://funeralspeersupport.com/
Events - https://www.cremationassociation.org/event/peersupport
Connect with Jennifer/The Glam Reaper:
Facebook Page - Muldowney Memorials: https://www.facebook.com/MuldowneyMemorials/
Facebook Page - Rainbow Bridge Memorials: https://www.facebook.com/rainbowbridgememorialsdotcom
Instagram - @muldowneymemorials & @jennifermuldowney
Twitter - @TheGlamReaper<
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Glam Reaper Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
And what we want to do is we want to be that person or that entity that people have to turn to when they do have issues and they need some support.
00:00:10
Speaker
Music
00:00:23
Speaker
Hi everybody and welcome to another episode of the Glam Reaper podcast.
00:00:27
Speaker
I'm your host, Jennifer Muldowney, aka the Glam Reaper.
00:00:30
Speaker
And on today's episode, we are talking to the lovely Kim from Funeral Peer Support.
00:00:36
Speaker
I was very blessed and honoured to have been on their webinar or Zoom class, I think it's called, I guess.
00:00:43
Speaker
Well, she'll fill us in more later, but I was very honoured to be on that.
00:00:46
Speaker
It was a really enlightening experience.
00:00:48
Speaker
Actually, it was really nice to share stories.
00:00:50
Speaker
But yes, without further ado, welcome, Kim.
00:00:53
Speaker
Thank you.
00:00:54
Speaker
Thank you.
00:00:54
Speaker
So good to be here finally with you.
00:00:56
Speaker
Yes, we have met in person quite a lot recently.
00:01:01
Speaker
We met at the New York State.
00:01:04
Speaker
We met at the National Funeral Directors Convention.
00:01:08
Speaker
So we met in Vegas and we met in Saratoga.
00:01:11
Speaker
And I was at Cana.
00:01:12
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:12
Speaker
So we were down in DC too.
00:01:14
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:01:15
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:01:15
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We were everywhere.
00:01:16
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So yeah.
00:01:17
Speaker
Funeral peer support definitely gets my support.
00:01:21
Speaker
I just think it's wonderful what you guys are doing.
00:01:24
Speaker
And so I want you to share a sort of
00:01:27
Speaker
what that mission is like for with my listeners.
00:01:30
Speaker
So we've got obviously listeners from funeral directors and funeral
Mission of Funeral Peer Support
00:01:33
Speaker
homes.
00:01:33
Speaker
We also have sort of, I call them Joe Bloggs on the street.
00:01:36
Speaker
You know, somebody who, like myself, until 15 years ago when I came into this industry, people who just are curious or whatever it might be.
00:01:43
Speaker
So we, you know, I'd love if you could explain what your mission is to them.
00:01:49
Speaker
No problem.
00:01:49
Speaker
So, funeral professionals peer support, we are a worldwide group, which has been wonderful.
00:01:58
Speaker
Both here, well, started in Canada, moved down to the U.S. We also have a group in Kenya.
00:02:03
Speaker
Currently, they meet, I think, like once a quarter.
00:02:07
Speaker
But we have student group and so we have a couple different meetings throughout the month in different areas.
00:02:16
Speaker
And what we want to do is we want to be that person or that entity that people have to turn to.
00:02:23
Speaker
When they do have issues and they need some support, whether it be at work or even at home or even any combination thereof.
00:02:34
Speaker
In today's world, support is something that some people don't feel like they have or have somebody that they can turn to.
Support Services for Funeral Professionals
00:02:41
Speaker
And especially in this profession with just all the stuff that we put on our own shoulders, a lot of times you can't go home and talk to someone.
00:02:49
Speaker
Your spouse is about it and everything because they really don't get what we do.
00:02:53
Speaker
You know, we're really the only ones that understand kind of the ins and outs of everything.
00:02:57
Speaker
And, you know, if you don't have, you know, the support that you may need in the workplace, we are there for people to turn to.
00:03:06
Speaker
And, you know, we have a call line set up.
00:03:10
Speaker
where people can call if they're having any kind of issues, whether it be financial, emotional, you know, in their lives in general.
00:03:19
Speaker
And this line is manned by a mental health professional.
00:03:24
Speaker
And it's 24-7.
00:03:26
Speaker
And you don't have to leave a message and call back.
00:03:29
Speaker
When you call the number, it is a mental health professional that is there to help you.
00:03:35
Speaker
The whole scenario, it's again, funeral professionals.
00:03:38
Speaker
So anybody that's involved in the funeral profession, so whether that be a funeral director or an embalmer or an apprentice or office staff, crematory workers, cemetery workers, removal staff, crematory technicians, anybody that is within the industry is welcome to join us.
00:04:00
Speaker
You know, we have our monthly meetings that are free of charge.
00:04:03
Speaker
There's no charge.
00:04:05
Speaker
And as Jennifer mentioned, she was on one of ours.
00:04:07
Speaker
And we have a different topic every month that we kind of go through and address.
00:04:12
Speaker
And whether it be workplace issues that we may deal with on a day-to-day basis or just some interaction between all of us, you know, asking, you know, what are your issues today?
00:04:25
Speaker
And we can be there.
00:04:26
Speaker
It's
00:04:27
Speaker
by peers and for peers.
00:04:29
Speaker
So the monthly meetings, there are, we do not have the mental health professionals in that meeting, but we are happy to guide folks if they need that guidance, where to turn.
00:04:40
Speaker
But, you know, that way you've got those people that are in the industry that know what you're doing and you may not have
00:04:46
Speaker
a support person at work or a mentor at work to be able to turn to and ask for advice or
Mental Health Conversations in the Funeral Profession
00:04:52
Speaker
guidance.
00:04:52
Speaker
And we are there to be able to help, you know, help that person in that situation.
00:04:58
Speaker
So, yeah, it's great.
00:05:00
Speaker
It's incredible.
00:05:01
Speaker
And I, I came across it, your podcast, right?
00:05:04
Speaker
I guess as well.
00:05:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:06
Speaker
Stronger together.
00:05:07
Speaker
Yeah, so I came across the podcast a while, a while back.
00:05:12
Speaker
And I also, I think I heard maybe it was Mike getting interviewed on Michael getting interviewed on the Undertaking podcast maybe a long time ago.
00:05:23
Speaker
I think I was actually getting my nails done.
00:05:25
Speaker
That's usually what I mean to a podcast.
00:05:27
Speaker
But I remember being so moved by what he was saying.
00:05:31
Speaker
And, you know, I put it sort of as I do with everything in my life, put it on my to-do list to must research these funeral pyrs.
00:05:38
Speaker
people and you know it took me a while but I eventually did you know I did connect with you guys and yeah I just think it's it's so so important what what you're offering what you're doing and I mean I was honored and kind of couldn't really understand why I was I was going to be a guest on it but at the same time it's what's interesting is I've been asked to speak about sort of mental health in the profession and
00:06:05
Speaker
A lot recently, I'm actually flying home to Ireland October 4th to speak at our trade show at home in Ireland about mental health and the profession.
00:06:14
Speaker
And I am and I'm very clear about this.
00:06:16
Speaker
Like I always say, I'm not an undertaker.
00:06:17
Speaker
I'm not a funeral director.
00:06:18
Speaker
You know, I'm always clear with that.
00:06:20
Speaker
And now I feel like I have to be clear.
00:06:22
Speaker
I'm not a therapist.
00:06:23
Speaker
I am not a mental health provider in any way, shape or form.
00:06:26
Speaker
But I think it's just and it's probably part of, I guess, just my personality is that I think it's it's about opening up the conversations, you know, and, you know, even even with what I do for a living, like the event planning and the celebrant stuff.
00:06:41
Speaker
Even that it's like when I ever I'm on stage with that, it's it's not.
00:06:45
Speaker
Are you licensed to do X, Y and Z?
00:06:47
Speaker
It's about opening the conversation.
00:06:49
Speaker
And, you know, at New York State, I did a presentation.
00:06:52
Speaker
I was asked to do a presentation and I did it and it was amazing.
00:06:54
Speaker
And there was one guy in the audience who sort of said, well, I have to I'm a funeral director and I have to answer to, you know, the licensure and all that.
00:07:03
Speaker
Who are you to tell us how to do funerals?
00:07:05
Speaker
And I just thought this is negative, Nelly.
00:07:08
Speaker
First of all, you were.
00:07:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:10
Speaker
That's when we're asleep through the entire presentation.
00:07:12
Speaker
So who do you even get to even, you know, talk about this to me?
00:07:16
Speaker
But I just thought, I said, that is just the antiquated attitude of, I understand.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yes, you do have to be certified and you do have to be licensed and all that sort of stuff.
00:07:25
Speaker
And listen, if that,
00:07:27
Speaker
came into what I'm doing.
00:07:28
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:07:29
Speaker
No problem.
00:07:29
Speaker
I'll tick the boxes and do whatever I need to do.
00:07:32
Speaker
But that doesn't necessarily make you the perfect funeral directors because you're a book smart and you've passed whatever.
00:07:38
Speaker
And I'm always very crystal clear that I'm not a funeral director.
00:07:41
Speaker
And so with this new sort of thing, I'm just to me, I consider myself just a facilitator of conversations.
00:07:48
Speaker
Let's just have the conversation.
00:07:50
Speaker
What harm does it do?
00:07:52
Speaker
But I did read something interesting on Instagram, as you do.
00:07:57
Speaker
And it did kind of make me think, though, it was somebody who has had suicidal thoughts in the past, sadly.
00:08:05
Speaker
And they were kind of saying that, you know, death meditation and all sort of these things.
00:08:12
Speaker
you know, contemplating death and in different forms is something that she's like, she basically said, you know, it is not helpful to be encouraging people to do that because for me, that's detrimental to my
Michael Dixon's Inspiration and Group Growth
00:08:25
Speaker
health.
00:08:25
Speaker
And it made me think because I thought, because that would be something that I would consider.
00:08:30
Speaker
You know, I'm actually writing my fourth book at the moment and it's actually about self-help.
00:08:35
Speaker
it's more about sort of people on the streets is not necessarily aimed at the funeral profession at all.
00:08:40
Speaker
It's more that I having worked in this business for 15 years, I do think that the more if we contemplate the fact that this life, we one life we have is finite, whether you believe you'll go to the afterlife and all that, it's neither here nor there.
00:08:53
Speaker
But, you know, that this is finite and that, you know, it just makes you love and live more.
00:08:58
Speaker
I think I think it makes you love harder and it makes you do things that you maybe wouldn't normally do.
00:09:03
Speaker
do because most people after they leave the funeral of a loved one they're kind of they're a little bit more oh my god life is so precious and that lasts like moments maybe week maybe you know a month if you're lucky and then it's back to normal and we're in the grind again so I'm definitely a fan of
00:09:19
Speaker
contemplation of death not in a heavy heavy way but this was sort of a different take on it um that I was fascinated with because I thought oh my god you know is that something that we shouldn't be doing because it potentially is detrimental to other people's health but then I thought you know opening these conversations I think is is really the important part of it because you're giving people space to to say that to come to the table and say this isn't you know that's not really helpful for me but
00:09:46
Speaker
If it's not helpful for one person, does that mean it shouldn't be done at all?
00:09:50
Speaker
You know, like, for example, if you've got a diabetes two drug, OK, it doesn't work on half the population, but it works on the other half.
00:09:56
Speaker
Should it just never be created?
00:09:59
Speaker
Because that's what mental health is.
00:10:00
Speaker
It's a disease, really.
00:10:02
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:10:03
Speaker
And the whole the whole idea of the peer support group was actually brought out.
00:10:09
Speaker
brought on by Michael Dixon, our founder, of his own mental health struggles and past traumas.
00:10:17
Speaker
And I'm not speaking out of turn because he, you know, he is very, very open with his past struggles.
00:10:23
Speaker
And he was in that moment, you know, contemplating suicide.
00:10:26
Speaker
And his saving moment was he said, you know, I'm going to call
00:10:32
Speaker
You know, my doctor and, you know, if someone answers, then fine.
00:10:35
Speaker
You know, if somebody doesn't, then I'm going off and doing what I, you know, what I plan to do.
00:10:41
Speaker
And he said, you know, he said, and they never answer.
00:10:44
Speaker
He said, but I figured, you know, I'd call and see, you know, do it.
00:10:48
Speaker
Something was just told me to do that.
00:10:50
Speaker
And he called and somebody answered the phone.
00:10:53
Speaker
So that is what he wants for anybody else.
00:10:56
Speaker
And it doesn't have to be, you know, that drastic of a situation, but, you know, it could, you know, lessen that, you know, somebody getting to that and, you know, having that number to be able to call and say, I need help, or can I just, you know, just somebody to talk to and everything.
00:11:13
Speaker
And again,
00:11:14
Speaker
you know, we understand what, you know, what we each go through on a day-to-day basis.
00:11:19
Speaker
And he didn't want anybody else to be in a situation where they needed somebody to talk and they had to leave a message because you don't know what would happen when the person turns and, you know, and hangs up the phone.
00:11:31
Speaker
So that was his motivation for the, you know, for the group.
00:11:36
Speaker
And, you know, that was only, that was in 2018 that
00:11:40
Speaker
that he formed the group, I think is the official, you know, the official start.
00:11:44
Speaker
But so that was his, his motivation to begin the group.
00:11:48
Speaker
And not I think it's, you know, it's definitely moving in the direction that he wants to be, he wants to be, you know, worldwide leader.
00:11:56
Speaker
And we are making, you know, good strides towards
00:11:59
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's incredible.
00:12:00
Speaker
I never knew you were international.
00:12:01
Speaker
So do you have anybody in Ireland?
00:12:04
Speaker
You might have.
00:12:07
Speaker
But I think he has been contacted by some people.
00:12:10
Speaker
So in different, I think Ireland and I think the UK, he's been contacted by people in those those countries.
00:12:17
Speaker
Yeah, I'll pay the excuse.
00:12:18
Speaker
Why they're willing to go over and start the group in Ireland.
00:12:21
Speaker
There you go.
00:12:21
Speaker
There you go.
00:12:22
Speaker
Well, we had, we did have, we were trying to get Brian from undertaking the podcast to be sponsored, to come over to talk with me on stage at the funeral times trade show.
00:12:33
Speaker
But it didn't it didn't come to par, which actually leads me to a pretty important question, especially nowadays.
00:12:41
Speaker
Although I feel like it was it was always a topic of conversation.
00:12:45
Speaker
How do you how is your how is funeral peer support funded or how does that, you know, because it's a lot of time and a lot of dedication.
00:12:55
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:12:55
Speaker
I'm currently, um, we are all volunteers, you know, on the, um, on the board, I guess the board, the, you know, the leadership team, um, I'm classified as the U.S. director.
00:13:06
Speaker
Um, so we are all, we're all volunteers.
00:13:08
Speaker
Nobody is getting paid for, you know, for this organization.
00:13:12
Speaker
So any funds that we get are through donations.
00:13:17
Speaker
Um, we do have sponsorships available for, um,
00:13:20
Speaker
or companies or individuals if they would like to sponsor us because obviously, you know, we have things like the helpline, you know, they need to be funded.
00:13:29
Speaker
So through donations, we have had a couple of generous donations, which we're very thankful for.
00:13:35
Speaker
But, you know, as everybody knows, you know, the spigot can turn off and, you know, and it does run dry at times.
00:13:41
Speaker
So any donations, whether it be from an individual or
00:13:45
Speaker
from a company, from, you know, from a larger company, small funeral homes.
Funding and Participation Information
00:13:51
Speaker
We do have different levels available.
00:13:53
Speaker
You know, they can sponsor a podcast, things like that.
00:13:57
Speaker
So we do have different levels for higher entities to become sponsorships for us.
00:14:03
Speaker
We also have what's called our, in the U.S., it's called the Member Assistance Program.
00:14:10
Speaker
And that is $15 a month or $150 for the year.
00:14:15
Speaker
And what that includes is that helpline.
00:14:17
Speaker
So that helpline is available to you 24-7.
00:14:21
Speaker
It also includes, we do webinars, professional webinars, which we sometimes have continuing ed credits available with them.
00:14:30
Speaker
So three of those available throughout the year for you to participate in.
00:14:34
Speaker
And with that membership, it's not only the person that takes the membership, it's their entire family.
00:14:41
Speaker
And it can be purchased on an individual level or as an employer, if you would want to provide a service like this to your employees.
00:14:51
Speaker
an employer can purchase them as well for all their employees and staff.
00:14:56
Speaker
So, you know, it's, and for that cost, those, you know, those that have had therapy in the past, you know, that $150 for a whole year, you know, one therapy session can be $150.
00:15:08
Speaker
And those calls, if anybody does make the call to that helpline, you
00:15:14
Speaker
And there's no timeframe on how long those telephones calls can last.
00:15:18
Speaker
They are there to be able to help you through the situation.
00:15:21
Speaker
And if they feel that you need continued help, they will assist you in getting you help in your local area.
00:15:28
Speaker
So, you know, so there's a lot, again, you know, it covers the family, it covers the individuals.
00:15:33
Speaker
So for that cost, it's not, you know, it's not a lot to be able to provide a service like that for your employees or yourself.
00:15:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:42
Speaker
And I mean, everyone that's volunteering, they're all full time funeral directors and well, so I want to, is there a website like a link that people can go to to maybe donate or if they've got more questions, we'll obviously leave all the links below.
00:15:56
Speaker
But yeah, if you can give us any information.
00:15:59
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:15:59
Speaker
Our website is www.funerals.com.
00:16:09
Speaker
That's our website.
00:16:10
Speaker
And there is some information in there about sponsorship levels and our emails are there to be able to contact us if you have any other questions, things like that.
00:16:20
Speaker
about sponsorships or the member assistance program.
00:16:24
Speaker
And in Canada, they have, it's called an EAP, but it's basically the same services as the MAP in the States.
00:16:31
Speaker
Yeah, so they can all go right there and they're welcome to, you know, contact somebody that's on the website or
00:16:39
Speaker
They can contact me directly, whichever, and I can point them in the right direction.
00:16:43
Speaker
So I'm more than happy to help with anybody that would be interested in that.
00:16:48
Speaker
That's brilliant.
00:16:49
Speaker
Well, thank you so much.
00:16:51
Speaker
Please, everyone, check it out.
00:16:52
Speaker
If you do have, you know, some money to spare or you just feel like it's a great cause, which it is, definitely check out the website or if you just want some more information.
00:17:02
Speaker
As you guys know, I've said it enough times or I hope I have said it enough times, but sometimes it falls on deaf ears.
00:17:08
Speaker
I'm always here to chat and to listen if anybody is feeling, feeling whatever, whatever way.
00:17:16
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:17:16
Speaker
And I, you know, myself and the grave woman, we put out a big sort of poster that if you ever see us at a convention, you know, we're recognizable usually.
00:17:25
Speaker
If you ever see us at a convention, never feel alone, always pop up and say hi.
00:17:29
Speaker
So I would definitely recommend everybody can pop into any funeral, the peer support booth whenever you see it at a convention as well.
00:17:37
Speaker
But
00:17:38
Speaker
our just our monthly meetings in the u.s are the third tuesday of every month um the link is on the cana website and the link never changes so you can go to the cana website to get our link for the monthly meetings in the u.s again they're the third tuesday of the month and they're at 8 p.m eastern time anybody anybody's welcome to join and um
00:18:02
Speaker
you know, from across the country or beyond.
00:18:04
Speaker
We do get people from Canada in that one as well.
00:18:06
Speaker
Canada does have their own monthly meeting as well.
00:18:10
Speaker
But I'm not positive on the date, but it's all on the website as well.
00:18:14
Speaker
So the third Tuesday of every month, which is easy enough to remember.
00:18:19
Speaker
So that's amazing.
00:18:20
Speaker
Well, thank you so much for joining us, Kim.
00:18:21
Speaker
And we're going to leave all the links below.
00:18:23
Speaker
And yeah, please don't be alone.
00:18:25
Speaker
And this is a very, very important service for the funeral profession.
00:18:30
Speaker
And I'm really thankful for your service.
00:18:34
Speaker
Thank you.
00:18:34
Speaker
Thank you for your support.
00:18:36
Speaker
Oh, absolutely not a bother.
00:18:38
Speaker
All right.
00:18:39
Speaker
Well, thank you very much, Kim.
00:18:40
Speaker
And we'll wrap it up and we'll leave all the links for you guys below.
00:18:44
Speaker
So thanks a million.
00:18:45
Speaker
Thank you.
00:18:46
Speaker
Talk to you later.
00:18:50
Speaker
you