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Mars Attacks!
2 Playsin 5 minutes
Tim Burton and every 90s actor spoof 50s scifi films. Our host, zencastr, keeps eating these as I type them and now I'm too tired to make it interesting again.
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Transcript
Introduction to Movie Life Crisis
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to Movie Life Crisis. Join us as we watch the best movies from 30 years ago.
Speculation on Alien Technology and Peace
00:00:16
Speaker
What do we know about them? We know they're extremely advanced technologically, which suggests that they're peaceful.
Discussing 'Mars Attacks' and PG-13 Rating
00:00:26
Speaker
they blew up congress i want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them and that ain't bad see the biggest cats on the planet while it's still here whoa mars attacks directed by tim burton now playing in a theater near you rated pg-13
00:00:48
Speaker
Oh, screenings. ah that's great. I'm glad we had that.
TV Spots and Audience Engagement
00:00:55
Speaker
I liked because we always I always get the TV spot because they're always 30 seconds and the actual trailers sometimes are two, three minutes.
00:01:03
Speaker
So by the time they made the TV spot for this movie, they already knew that no one had watched it. Nobody was going. They gave all the stuff. They can't go like, the hit comedy of Christmas, they just go like, there's a lot of people in this. You might want to check it out.
00:01:15
Speaker
There's tons of people that we're going to kill them all. Aliens and explosions. Wait, are they the lead? bre Yeah. Ah, man. That's... I freaking love Mars Attacks, Movie Life Crisis, ah Season 6, Episode 9, 69. Didn't plan it.
00:01:37
Speaker
didn't plan it i'll I'll take it over the 6-7 that I hear on a daily basis right now.
50s Sci-Fi B Movies and Influence of Mystery Science Theater
00:01:43
Speaker
I thought 6-7 was dead, but i'm not I'm not fingering the pulse of America's youth. I'm trying not to also.
00:01:51
Speaker
Yeah, man. ah Why did we pick this one? Dude, i you said that you liked it. I don't even remember this movie. Are you kidding me? ah Dude, all right. So how do you feel about 50s sci-fi drive-in B mo be like movie, horror movie type things?
00:02:12
Speaker
I don't know. I'd say like like ah my interest level in that is like zero, nothing. Whatever scale you want to use. that' Whatever the level is. No stars. Two thumbs in the middle.
00:02:23
Speaker
care So, dude, I grew up watching, um ah what's the thing where the people make fun of the movies down at the bottom of the screen? Yeah, Mystery Science Theater. Mystery Science Theater. So all of those type of movies that they play on there are all these like schlock 1950s B-movies. And I've always liked those. um And then Tim Burton wants to make his own version. And then they had everybody in it.
00:02:52
Speaker
And I saw it. and I remember seeing
Impact and Reception of 'Mars Attacks'
00:02:54
Speaker
this in the theater. Like that dude, I freaking loved it when it came out. Watching it again, not as much, but still, um it's a movie.
00:03:04
Speaker
So the, I mean, i like when we're doing a movie on the podcast that you're like, oh, dude, we should do that. And I'll go, yeah, that's fine. Let's do that one. I don't remember it at all, really. yeah And usually I don't remember because it's horrible and I never watched it.
00:03:17
Speaker
But yeah sometimes I'm surprised because I really liked it. This is not that time. This isly this is not one of those times, I'm sure. But I like it's totally sometimes when I'm watching the movie, I'm like, God, this movie is so good. I'm so excited to talk with this. And sometimes I'm like, God, this movie horrible. I can't wait to talk about this.
00:03:37
Speaker
And then is this one one of those ones in the middle where you're just like, yeah, yeah, it happened. Or is it that bad that you want to talk about it? I'm sure there's fun things for us to talk about. and it And it is like a kind of stupendous cast. And I really like Tim Burton.
Tim Burton's Unique Style and Film Reception
00:03:53
Speaker
And I was thinking about I'm like, do I really like Tim Burton or do I just really like the first two Batman movies? I'm like, no, I like other stuff of his. I like Edward Scissorhands. Yeah, Scissorhands and Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. But a lot of his stuff is super weird and not my kind of weird. But then like... yeah
00:04:11
Speaker
I appreciate there's creators like that because if he was only making stuff, like if he was just going like, I just got to keep writing hits, like it wouldn't, write who gives a shit? Like he's doing weird shit and I appreciate that about him, which means sometimes there going huge misses. Yeah. This to me is a huge miss. It made no money and everyone yeah hated it. And the weird, I think it's because people didn't pick up on the, Hey, we're doing it on purpose. It's supposed to look like a nineteen fifty s crappy movie like he made the aliens not look perfect on purpose you know I'm saying like ay am I I like that and I picked up on that right away and I don't think people did though
00:04:54
Speaker
Yeah, i don't I mean, I'm sure, like, I get that. But also, i just, I kept saying, like, oh, it's a it's a parody. It's a satire. I'm like, but there's no there was no comedy in it. It was just, like, it seemed like he made a bad movie in order to homage bad movies and then was, like it's like, well, yeah, it's bad. He's like, well, I trying to make bad. it's like, well, mission
Evolution from Trading Cards to Movie
00:05:14
Speaker
accomplished. You nailed it.
00:05:16
Speaker
Like, I don't, I don't, I don't. No, I totally get that. And I wish there would have been funnier lines because I remember there being funnier lines. Like the one in the funny, I was thinking of it in my head. I'm like, oh, that's, that's probably pretty funny. I don't remember it specifically, but i was like, do I can remember Johnny just like always saying you still got two out of three branches of the government working for you. And that ain't bad. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is gonna have lots of quotes. I remember this. There's tons of people. And then I got through and I was like, oh, no, i have to use AKAC as one of my quotes. You know what I'm saying? like It just wasn't it wasn't enough of the stuff.
00:05:52
Speaker
um but i just again I just abstained. just we don't I released this smudge. We still don't have a pope. I'm not voting. Yeah.
00:06:02
Speaker
ah Do you think ah this is the best alien movie to come out in 1996?
Comparison with 'Independence Day'
00:06:09
Speaker
Oh, I was trying to figure out because I'm like, this scene i don't I didn't remember that these movies had kind of the exact same plot. This one in Independence Day, which is the biggest movie, one of the biggest movies the year. i don't remember if it was number one, but it was one or two. It's got to be up there. And I was like, oh, dude, the Independence Day came out in the summer, obviously, ID4, 74, never forget. And then this came out at Christmas.
00:06:29
Speaker
So they actually intentionally did some of this movie to like the third act they rewrote to be closer to Independence Day. I'm like, they did that on purpose because they were satirizing, which is totally fine. Yeah. ah But I was like, dude, Independence Day way funnier than this.
00:06:44
Speaker
It's not a satire. Like it's an action movie, but it also has, it's, it's just better in every way. It's funnier. It's got Jeff Goldblum though. And Will Smith cracking wise.
00:06:56
Speaker
Yeah. dude i You say it comes out in Christmas. I was reading an article and it said that the green and red skeletons that that were left behind after they shot them was because of Christmas. They were doing that because of Christmas. Nice.
00:07:11
Speaker
Good for them. Good for them. Shout out to the good people at ILM. Yeah. Industrial Light and Magic. He didn't even want to use them. He wanted it to be stop motion. They wanted to do claymation and yeah stop motion, and they
Screenwriting Challenges
00:07:23
Speaker
couldn't afford it. Well, dude, the guy who wrote the script, um Jonathan Jims, jim had yeah been pitching it since the 80s, and he ended up writing like 30 drafts of this. and the But the initial shooting draft, he turned into Warner Brothers, the studio. They priced it, and they're like this is going to be $300 million. dollars like We're spending So we had to keep going back and taking out – he's like, we had 60 characters. We got it down to 23. We had, like, 14 locations. We got it down to four. Oh, man.
00:07:49
Speaker
But, dude, one of the big fights that the screenwriter had with the studio, and it was one of the things that he thought led to him getting fired eventually, was that he was – they kept going, like, you can't have the opening be cows running by on fire. It's too expensive. He's like, I'm not doing anything different. Cows on fire is a deal breaker. i will not – And I just love that that's how committed he was to a bit that I didn't really even understand.
00:08:14
Speaker
I never remembered until I saw it again. I didn't get the reference until I started doing stuff for this movie. The trading cards that it's based on.
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah. On ah Internet Archive, somebody put a picture of each one, like the front and the back. And there's one where there's just cows on fire. Yeah. Being shot up with a death ray or whatever. And on the back, it talks about how the Martians are trying to kill our food supply and all that stuff. That's literally why he did that in the beginning. Was it cows in the movie or was it horses?
00:08:47
Speaker
It was cows. I don't know. was cows. That's amazing. But also when you write a movie based on a trading card series, like these trading cards came out when you and I were alive and were kids.
Political Satire and Box Office Performance
00:08:56
Speaker
I never saw one. Not once my whole No, no. They came out in the 60s. They came out again in the 90s because of this.
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah. They re-released them to catch that fire that was Mars Attacks the movie. Get on this rocket ship. It's taking off.
00:09:13
Speaker
dude There's a lot of trading cards to the story goes all the way from them attacking us to us going to Mars and attacking them. Yeah, there's a whole story. And i know I mean, and I know they based the they made based it on like the kind of disaster movies of the 70s, like the freaking Poseidon adventure where it's like, right, they're pretty schlocky disaster movies are pretty formulaic, but you get like all star ensemble cast.
00:09:39
Speaker
Dude, I've seen Poseidon Adventure. That movie's still really good. i mean Yeah, it is. But it's fun. like If you watch it, it's a good time. Yeah. even so i don't even know why they i don't even care if the Martians or the Earthlings win. You'd think I would have a vested interest in that, but I was like, I don't even care.
00:09:55
Speaker
I felt the whole time like I was Natalie Portman in this. yeah Like it would happen and I would just go, huh, yeah. If they were, yeah, okay, yeah, I get that. They shot up Congress. So many people want to do that right now. Like, and know that just put me on a list, but I'm saying like,
00:10:14
Speaker
Oh, dude, I was there for that part. I was like, yeah, man, get in there just start cleaning out. I can't be any worse than what we got. We could start it over. Start vaporizing Yeah, maybe we can get younger. Dude, they could freaking chop my head off and put it on a chihuahua if they go and take care of some of the political stuff.
00:10:32
Speaker
That was weird. Super weird. Yeah, man. give Do the synopsis. Synopsis. Martians land on Earth claiming they, quote, come in peace and then immediately start annihilating politicians, media people, media leaders, casino owners, and basically anybody with power. The world's big shots all fall and the people who wind up saving the day are a kid, his grandmother, and Slim Whitman. A record from Slim Whitman.
00:10:57
Speaker
By the way, I listened to that song. That's an actual song. Yeah, dude. Of course it is. I, but I gotta be honest. ah There's so, I don't know if it's supposed to be confusing and if it is again, job well done. I don't even understand why they're saying I come in peace. Is there a joke there that I don't get? or you Yeah. Cause they keep going like they're like when they shook his hand at the end and then his hand comes off and kills him. And they're like, they kept saying like, um, don't run. We're your friends. And then when they stopped, they would just shoot them all. It's just yeah like, if you were going to i come in peace and they would just, they just start shooting everything, shoot the place up.
00:11:29
Speaker
Don't you remember when you and I would like fight in the living room at my house? I would go, ah, dude, wait, ah, oh, wait, I think I'm hurt. And then as soon as you stop, I would just light you up. That's what they were doing. Yes.
00:11:40
Speaker
Yeah, i remember that. But it wasn't but like I was like, is that like a is there a commentary on something? Is it just that they're dicks? Because that's what I thought. You were just holding my contact. And then I would get off you, and you would freaking hit me with an elbow.
00:11:52
Speaker
Yeah, that's what it was. That's exactly what they were doing. Okay, cool. They were just trying to get any advantage that they could. They got to win, see, because there's goingnna be Mars is going to explode from the inside out, so they need to find new places to live. That's what the first trading card says.
00:12:11
Speaker
Nice. yeah I like that they didn't go very far. like ah I would feel like if my planet was going to explode, be like, let's just get out of this whole neighborhood. This thing's smooth somewhere else. No, no. They went right next door.
00:12:23
Speaker
um Yeah, man. $80 million dollars budget. they Warner was like, this thing's going to cost $300 million. We're not spending it. You got to get it down to like $60. They winnowed it way down. They made it a lot less set pieces, way fewer characters.
00:12:34
Speaker
Ended up with a budget of $60 million, dollars which they overran to $80. And then they spent like another $20 on marketing. So they spent all in $100 million. dollars And the movie made... nice Hang on one second. $101.4 million. Yeah.
00:12:48
Speaker
hey Hey, we're making money. So I don't think it was ah the technical term. There is a flop. It did not do well. Yeah, it didn't. It didn't do what they were hoping.
00:13:00
Speaker
But you you'd figure if if you just listed off all the people and didn't tell me what the movie was about and asked me if I wanted to see it, I would say yes. Well, my thing is like, I mean, studios are in the business of making money. They're like, that's why.
00:13:12
Speaker
But like, I like when there's people like Kevin Smith and Tim Burton, like they're going to do weird shit that only appeals to a limited subsection of people. And sometimes they might do something that's bigger than that. But like, right to me, you should just give them like, dude, you do whatever you want as long as you don't go above this much money.
00:13:29
Speaker
Right. Which is like Kevin Smith famously, like his movies always made money because he would shoot them for like, he made fricking clerks for like $11,000. Right. And then he made mall rats for like $4 million.
Appreciation for Unique Filmmakers
00:13:40
Speaker
dollars Like just like, yeah just, it doesn't take a lot of money. So do whatever you want. Make some cool shit because it's not really that costly.
00:13:46
Speaker
Tim Burton isn't the group of people talking in a convenience store. His shit is always stop motion and dude his scissor hands. Because it's always visual. But again, if you just go like, dude, you just Tim, you just got to keep it to whatever the number $150 million, like and you're good. like Tell Johnny Depp he's got to take back end points. We can't pay him $25 million. Yeah.
00:14:06
Speaker
like Just you know tell Danny Elfman like we're not going to give him his full. like Everybody's got to take a cut on this because you're going to make that much money. Just for giggles, I clicked on his most recent movie, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, the second one. He did that for $100 million also. a Box office, though, $452 million.
00:14:24
Speaker
Well, that was great, dude. That was a sequel to a movie that was 40 years old that everyone loved. like that Yeah, that's what was going to do. So that's what i was going say. Do you think Mars Attacks gets this cult following now that it's 30 years and we're doing the podcast and we have so many people listening that it just takes off from here and they make Mars Attacks again?
00:14:42
Speaker
ah First of all, the movie already claims that it has a cult following. And second all, obviously, we can move the tide of popular opinion just by doing the movie on our podcast where we both go like, i don't even know if I understand it. Yeah, dude, I don't know. Well, look at it.
00:14:58
Speaker
I mean, look at Tim Burton's. movies Like, dude, his first movie directed is Pee-wee's Big Adventure, which is awesome. And then it's Beetlejuice. And then it's Batman. And then it's Edward Scissorhands. And then it's Batman Returns. That's like <unk>in that's like a five-piece.
00:15:14
Speaker
It's pretty amazing. Then it's Ed Wood, yeah which is not good.
Tim Burton's Filmography and Danny Elfman's Score
00:15:17
Speaker
And then it's this, which is not good. And then it's Sleepy Hollow, Planet of the Apes, Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He's got more would have thought. Fish was so good, dude. Remember that movie?
00:15:26
Speaker
Yeah. That's so good. He's got some stuff that's pretty weird. He's actually got a lot a lot of hits. He's definitely weird, but I like the the weird version of him.
00:15:40
Speaker
like his stuff. Isn't he 37 when he does this? I mean, yeah. Awards, they got nominated for some stuff. Yeah, nominated for a Hugo Award for Best Dramatic Presentation, even though I don't think it was listed as ah a dramedy. I think it was a probably a black comedy, if anything. um a Saturn Award for Danny Elfman's score, which, of course, it's Danny Elfman. Uh, dude, I was reading a thing from him, uh, in one of those music magazines that was online. Um, he wanted to do the old flying saucer sound and he wanted to use a theremin thing, the thing with the pole and the like little loop. Uh, but he couldn't get that. So he had to use this French thing that comes on a keyboard. And I looked up a video of, uh, dude, I don't know how to say it. Unde Mardineau, Mardineau.
00:16:33
Speaker
Martineau. It's like a keyboard, but in front of the keys where the it would normally just be a flat piece of wood or whatever, there are these like little silver things that work with your human touch when you're touching another piece. And it makes that same whoo sound, but he can change it with the keyboard, so he used that to make the flying saucer sound. I went back and watched the flying saucer sound, and you could totally tell it's that instrument. It's really cool. um So he won a thing for that. It was nominated for like Saturn Awards, science fiction and stuff like that. But does anybody garrett care about the Saturn Awards?
00:17:10
Speaker
I mean, probably if we got nominated for one, I would be excited. But I didn't know they existed until I started doing this podcast. so Natalie Portman picked up a Chicago Film Critics nomination for most promising actress.
00:17:22
Speaker
Because all she had done before this was Leon the Professional. I was gonna say, dude, I think she could have gotten that after Leon the Professional, because that movie was freaking great. Yeah. um I didn't have any sequels or spinoffs yet, but, you know, the podcast hasn't released yet, so we'll have to see. perhapss Dude, i was I couldn't believe this is ah not related to the sequels or spinoffs. I was shocked by how young Tom Jones looked, even though he wasn't young then. Tom Jones is like, freaking, he's in the groove. He's got them Welsh genetics. ah Every time I see him, all I can think of is him and D'Angelo singing ah Sex Machine on VH1's Men's Strike Back.
00:18:03
Speaker
God, that's... Well, let's go to the bridge! Like, I freaking... I freaking love that. ah Pour some out for D'Angelo. Every time see Tom Jones, I think of two things. One is obviously Carlton's dance. Carlton, yeah. and then the second one is 30 Rock. No Tom Jones, no.
00:18:21
Speaker
Liz has a sexual hangout based around Tom Jones. Yes. Oh, man. Dude, I like me some Tom Jones. Yeah, man. So, yeah, no direct film sequel, right? But they re-released the cards again. Yay. And they edit they added more.
00:18:40
Speaker
I kept thinking of, did you watch the studio yet? We talked about this. Yes. ah but Well, not the whole thing, but yes. but like they're wanting to do like a movie based on Kool-Aid. In the studio, they're like, so if a freaking stupid movie about like blonde-haired plastic dolls could do a billion dollars, think how good the Kool-Aid movie could
Hollywood's IP Adaptations and Nostalgia
00:18:56
Speaker
do.
00:18:56
Speaker
And it's just supposed to be like like, that's the satire of how dumb Hollywood is. that They'll take pre-existing IP and make a movie. And they' like and they really and I kept thinking, wait, do we want to make the Kool-Aid man's voice black? I don't think we do. I don't think we do.
00:19:11
Speaker
Like that, the Kool-Aid movie makes a lot more sense than the Mars Attacks trading card movie is the point that I'm trying to make. And that's what I thinking during the movie. I was like, the freaking trading cards? I hadn't even heard of these.
00:19:22
Speaker
Just for giggles, if you're sitting on the can or something, you should totally look up the Mars Attacks Tops trading cards. When you see the pictures, they're literally like he recreated those same scenes in the yeah in the movie. the people the the The aliens look the same in everything. It's ridiculous. Well, i'm guessing that's the i'm yeah I'm guessing that's the demo for this movie. It's people who are super into the trading cards or the people who are really into the fifty s like sci-fi schlock movies. That's why I liked them.
00:19:50
Speaker
Because i didn't um I didn't know about any of that stuff, so I didn't go like, oh, man, that's cool. They really yeah really captured the moment. I was like i don't understand what's going on. Like those really bad ones where the flight floating floating saucer has the yeah string and you can see it? Yeah, I love that. I'm aware of them. I just didn't watch them.
00:20:06
Speaker
Yeah, i love that. I was all about it. All right, dude. Let's talk about your first memories of this movie since you saw it in theaters. Yeah, i do I saw this one in the theater. This was at the ah Southeastern one, whatever the... University? Yeah, the university thing that's a church now. I saw it there. I saw it by myself. And I can remember, only because I like movies, the whole time going like, oh, snap, I know who that is. I've seen that guy before. Ooh, it's Michael J. Fox. Oh, my gosh, it's that chick. Or all those... Like, I knew some of the people, and then I recognized even more
00:20:41
Speaker
ah So I liked it the whole time I was in there. I was enjoying popcorn and giggling at the bad sci-fi. But I think going in, I knew that's what it was. I don't know. one of the things that was awesome about the i mean i all the pre-internet times is that you just would...
00:20:59
Speaker
get excited if you knew something because if you didn't know it you just were never going to know it you never you know like you didn't have a rectangle with all the world's information in your pocket so you could ask somebody and if they gave you the wrong information you just walked around knowing the wrong info yeah uh so but like if you were seeing this in the movies in the 90s and you recognize like freaking Annette Bening or whoever you're like you yeah yeah oh dude right yeah she was in the thing and if you didn't you'd be like for like two weeks be like god what was that remember that what was that guy and that one guy he was in that Yeah.
00:21:30
Speaker
And like now, dude, i we visited my parents last weekend. and My mom pulled out the frickin basket of Ninja Turtles that she's had since the 80s. Yeah. My son's like grabbing one. It's like it looks like a cyborg that ah he's like, what's this? What's this one? like sure I don't know.
00:21:43
Speaker
But I just I just type all of the words I'm thinking into Google. And it is teenage mutant Ninja Turtle figure gold medal. Red eyes. And it just goes like, oh, that's Metalhead. He's a cyborg that was built by Shredder in season three of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. I just like just show myself. Look at Metalhead.
00:22:01
Speaker
He's like, Metalhead. Sweet.
00:22:05
Speaker
You could have told him the wrong thing and he just would have been fine with that, too. he just would have been like. he he and like so like And that's cool, too, because I can find out about this thing that's 40 years old with my phone.
00:22:17
Speaker
Right. And he's excited he'll be like, he'll just ask a question. He'll like, what is why are those birds do that? like, don't know. He's like well, get your phone out and let's look it up. Yeah, find out, man. Come on.
00:22:27
Speaker
So like that is cool too, but there was something to like, like ah dude, i i'll I can't tell you how many times i've thought about this. Me and you was like once spent an entire evening in high school just playing the Casey and JoJo version of Lately over and over again to try to write down the lyrics. yes did Because the liner-ups didn't have the lyrics and we didn't have internet. So we had no other way of trying to figure out what they were saying. Like just yeah no one will ever do that again.
00:22:54
Speaker
Why would you? why which Yeah, no, I, but also it was kind of fun. I still remember it. Yeah. That's, I say the same thing to Jake. i was like, yeah, dude, is it great that I can pull up all this? Yeah.
00:23:06
Speaker
But let me tell you what's really fun. You know how quickly you learn the words to the song when you have to write them all down and he's like, Oh, I don't want to know it. I'm like, ok okay, great. Ah, man.
00:23:18
Speaker
Yeah. Dude, ah that's how I felt. Even with the rectangle that has all the world's information, when I saw ah Joe Don Baker, he's the guy. Do you know who I'm talking about? He is the guy from um he's the dad that is ah Jack Black's dad. Yes.
00:23:38
Speaker
All right. So that guy looked wicked familiar. And the whole time I'm like, God, why do I know him? Why do I know him? I couldn't remember why. And then it finally came to me while today while I was given a test. I was like, wait a second. He's the guy that ah my arch nemesis in the natural, he throws the fastball and strikes him out in the natural. yeah He's supposed to be like Babe Ruth. He's the whammer or something like that. His credited role in the natural is the whammer. The whammer, yeah.
00:24:10
Speaker
Because he would freaking crush it. And then that was, oh man. And as soon as it came to me, i was like, I got to go look this up. Stopped what I was doing, walked away from the test and went and looked it up. i was dead on balls accurate. and yeah I like using the brain to do to do that, not just looking it up every time.
00:24:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool. I knew him immediately from Joe Dirt, but he's been in like nine million things that I had forgotten about. I like to do, because ah you know if you go see a kid's movie now, like there's no more voice actors. They just stunt cast with real actors. But so like I love just being able to sit there and like just tell my wife, like, that's this person, that's this person, that's this person, that's this person. We do the other thing. They had John Goodman on some night show. And I was like, hey, Cece, whose voice is that? She's like...
00:24:53
Speaker
I don't It sounds like Sully. I was like, it is Sully. Yeah. I'm like, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So like, i that's my favorite thing to do. Seeing an animated movies to figure out who's voicing all the characters. I'm like, Oh God, that voice is very familiar. But I'm like, I got close my eyes and wait for a face to pop up.
00:25:11
Speaker
um yeah I have no recollections of seeing this. I was aware of it. I never owned it. I may not have seen it in full until this week. don't know. Yeah. Yeah. But um let's let's go to ratings. How did you rate it?
00:25:24
Speaker
um Dude, I like Tim Burton's Chaos, and I like how it's the B-movie stuff. And I didn't want to give it a seven because I can't. So I don't think it's an eight. I gave it a six and a half.
00:25:37
Speaker
Six and a half, though, is over five for me, so that means there's a chance I'm going to watch it again before I die, which I know is not a chance for you. I mean, it there's always a chance.
00:25:52
Speaker
so So you're saying there's a chance. Swanson. Samsonite. I wasn't even close. Our pet's heads are falling off. I... Like, dude, I'm not... I mean, this movie doesn't make me angry. I just don't understand it, and I don't think it's very good. And I think yeah maybe the point is not to be very good, but I don't... Yeah. used by that that is That part is definitely a thing. So, I gave it a 5 out of 10. It's got an incredible cast. I don't get any of the stuff that is happening. So...
00:26:19
Speaker
so It's kind like dude, have you ever done that? Have you ever tried to watch like a like a famous foreign film director like Fellini or something like that? all the time. Like I'll put those on sometimes and I'm like, everyone says this is amazing. And same thing. It's like 20 minutes. I'm like, right, I don't understand what the fuck is going on. I don't get any of this. Dude, even if it's not even foreign, even if it's like a regular like artsy movie, the whole time I'm like, why do I care about this? I don't.
00:26:47
Speaker
There's not like at least this, if I don't care about it, at least they're spectacle. Like there's like aliens walking around shooting stuff. Like if it's just a guy, it's like, like the British movies that Eddie Izzard.
Confusion with Artsy Films and Star-Studded Cast
00:27:03
Speaker
Oh, I was, I'm sorry. I can't, you said that, but I thought I'm, I'm very sorry. i think I better go. Yes. I think you add. so think you
00:27:15
Speaker
I was staircase through the room with a view.
00:27:20
Speaker
ah so yeah so like that's that's my rating. I just I go like this movie is not for me, but that is yeah it's not for some people. Right. but then also after I after I do my review, I check Rotten Tomatoes and it's right at a five.
00:27:33
Speaker
on Yeah. maybe And on IMDb seems. Dude, one of the kids was telling me yesterday, no, Wednesday, that that's today. They were telling me the um Rotten Tomatoes, the way they do the scoring.
00:27:47
Speaker
Did you know how they do that? So, like, I'm going to look it up. And the next time we talk about Rotten Tomatoes, going to have it. Because he was telling me, like, oh, I was wrong. I thought it was fresh tomatoes or Rotten Tomatoes, and that's the percentage of people that liked it. But that's not what it is.
00:28:02
Speaker
And it's like a certain percentage of the critics gave it a score higher than a certain number out of a certain number. And that's how they go with it. um But the audience score is the other way. So that's the one you want to look at, the popcorn thing, not the tomato. i like the audience. i don't i don't I don't look at tomato meter. I like the audience score. Tomato meter?
00:28:24
Speaker
Tomometer? Toma-to-meter? Tomometer. i always say
00:28:39
Speaker
Let's do scenes. I only have two and don't have any quotes. All right, let's do it. What's your first one? My first one is I Come in Peace. Dude, that... um The Martians land in the desert. When they first show up, yeah. And they've got big grandstands around. like The military's all there. They're like standing real straight.
00:28:56
Speaker
Yeah. like ah President Jack Nicholson is not there. He sends one of the generals. Yeah. like they like The guy has a f freaking translation machine that he built in his basement that I feel sure does not really work. Right. And then he's like, he's like welcome. Welcome.
00:29:10
Speaker
shaking hands your ambassadors there's like thousands and thousands of people watching and then the aliens like i come in peace and everyone's cheering and then he pulls that as martian blaster and just starts destroying everyone yeah yeah they shoot the bird first so they thought it was the bird that's the best part they thought it was somewhere some hippie releases a dove they shoot the dove and they just start shooting everyone jack black is there as an army guy he's surprisingly convincing Yeah, he um I forgot he was in this until this time. um Dude, I think that the first contact is my first scene, too.
00:29:46
Speaker
I love that. The fact that the hippie releases the dove and then they think it's the do oh, it's the bird. They just hate birds. It's like, no, that's not it either. They're just killing everything. It's fantastic. Yeah, dude. 007, Pierce Brosnan is in there. He's like smoking a pipe. He's like, well, it's probably they just maybe they just hate doves. Maybe doves a symbol of war to them. and And so the the president, Jack Nicholson, is like, just the It's just a dove. It's just a misunderstanding. No big deal. Let's try again. and ah they can teach try it He's He's giving it a chance. Jack Nicholson also plays two roles in this, and I never did understand why.
00:30:21
Speaker
He wanted to play all the roles. He was joking with Tim Burton ahead of time that said, I'll play all of them I'll play every single role in here if you let me. They said no, and we'll just give you two. And to be honest, I think I would have liked that better. Really? Really?
00:30:35
Speaker
No, this is a great, this, we, I mean, we haven't talked about it, but this is an absolutely staggering cast. Yeah. Yeah. Like the first like five minutes of the movie while they're introing the cast, you just keep going like, holy shit, how'd they get all these people?
00:30:47
Speaker
Yeah. It's like that movie where Hugh Jackman has tentacles hanging from his chin, whatever that movie is. It's got tons of people in it and it's the most ridiculous movie ever. Movie 42. Movie 40 something.
00:30:58
Speaker
movie forty something Right. thirty-tw forty one Yeah, if you think so. Movie 42, I think, is the name of it. Final answer. Yeah, dude. But Jack Nicholson's Glenn Close. It's Annette Bening. Pierce Brosnan.
00:31:13
Speaker
Sarah Jessica Parker. Martin Short. Michael J. Fox. Tom Jones. Natalie Portman. Jim Brown. Denny DeVito. Friggin' Jack Black. Like this... Joe Don Baker. Yeah.
00:31:24
Speaker
Christina Applegate. Pam Greer. Ray J. was ludicrous. It was a ludicrous cast. Ludicrous, isn't it? I didn't see him. Ludicrous. Is that you he the little the little kid? No, that's the let know the other his little brother is the kid from ah Soul Food.
00:31:40
Speaker
Oh, nice. That baby face movie. Wasn't that Baby Faces movie? I don't know. Doesn't matter. Nobody saw that either. Fred Welker does the voice acting, and he's the guy who does Scooby-Doo and stuff like that. And also Garfield.
00:31:57
Speaker
Yeah. oh I bet he was in and out in one day. a act You guys good? All right, I'm good. Bada bing, bada boom, I'm done. Okay, Krusty, we're ready to... What the... uh dude i had uh that scene i also had the slim whitman climax scene where they started blowing everything up and then they just uh drove through town with the record playing yeah and it blew up all their heads because the guy's a freaking they they just yodeler i don't what women yodeling song that the old grandma listened to would just make the martian's head explode and so then they just drive through town just blaring it out of his old truck
00:32:32
Speaker
ah And dude, the whole trailer park thing and the truck, I was like, did they just, did they rip off Independence Day on purpose or was this just a coincidence? I don't know. Who, where do, every time aliens land, they always go to trailer parks and they always go get those people.
00:32:49
Speaker
No aliens ever pick up somebody important. Counterpoint, the people who live in trailer parks are a lot more likely to think that they have encountered aliens than the people who live in houses. Well, yeah, of course.
00:33:01
Speaker
Of course, that's the real answer. I'm saying that. I'm saying that they never pick up anybody. All I could think was, Betty still has my casserole, dude. I thought we'd be killed. Or even worse. Or even worse.
00:33:12
Speaker
ah the The last part I had is when his wife at the time, Lisa Marie, is dressed as a Martian girl and she seduces Martin Short and gets back into the...
00:33:25
Speaker
Kennedy room uh disguised a short looked crazy to me like he I i just think him short now and when I see him in a movie like this I'm like dude what I can't tell is it is that his real hair I don't know but there's something about him was like was throwing me off big time his hair was really weird it was different he had like this big dookie roll in the front like a Conan loft it was like Conan O'Brien's hair yeah and lots of forehead I thought her unnerving, like moving her hands, but she's not really walking. She was constantly chewing the gum and just staring. i She did a good job with that. That that always stuck out in my head. um
00:34:02
Speaker
I don't think they're together anymore, but that was his partner at the time. No, they're not. he ah He was with Helena Bonham Carter for a long time, and then he was with Monica Bellucci for a couple of years, and apparently she's they're not together anymore.
00:34:17
Speaker
Good Lord. but Yeah. I need to be weird. He's doing it for himself. yeah Yeah, he's doing all right. So those those are my three. ah What about quotes? My other scene the White House invasion scene, mainly because the chandelier drops on Glenn Close, the first lady, and kills her, and that was such a weird thing to happen.
Unexpected Actor Deaths in 'Mars Attacks'
00:34:38
Speaker
Dude, all right, real fast. Do you think...
00:34:42
Speaker
It's got to be Tim Burton's just like, i just want to start killing some of the really famous people. Like, I guess like everybody you think is going to be the lead main character, the hero, the protagonist, they all die. It's freaking great. I love that.
00:34:59
Speaker
So Jonathan Gims, or jims who wrote 30 drafts of this movie, and has the final story and screenplay credit solely by himself. He said that Tim Burton, like uncredited, wrote the script with him. So I don't know if it was him or if it was Tim Burton, but but their love of the like schlocky 50s sci-fi alien invasion movies, I'm sure they were just like, we just got to start killing people off. And like the weirder and grosser, the better.
00:35:24
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:29
Speaker
They certainly killed them all off. I do like how she she got killed by the the the chandelier. That was great. And everybody was just staring there, staring at her. um And then Ray J pops up and starts shooting stuff everywhere with ah old soul food. This was way before Kardashian Ray j by the Way, way. way Yeah. But they've been they've been skipping school to go play video games, and the video games they were playing were the ones where you'd shoot. And so they just pick up the alien blasters and start destroying people.
00:35:57
Speaker
You got to use your hands. It's like a baby's toy. Yeah. yeah That was my last scene. Nice. You don't have any quotes at all? ah No, i don't. okay no i got the i got the one wolf to me I got the one Johnny used to always say, i want the people to know they still got two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad. And then i had the don't run, we're your friends. um You could hear it being translated on that machine as they're going, i got got cock and it's saying, don't run, we are your friends. And they're just shooting up people. And then, of course, ah when freaking Juno, your caseworker, when she starts laughing and yells, they blew up Congress.
00:36:45
Speaker
I freaking i love that. I love how it's just Looney Tunes style just turns on Congress and shoots them. The funny thing is that I kind of feel like.
00:36:57
Speaker
If you were outwardly violent to someone, but at the same time we're telling them like, no, it's I'm cool. We're not. We're your friends. I actually do think you would just paralyze people.
00:37:08
Speaker
They wouldn't know what to do. Yeah. Like, I kind of think that would work. Like, if a stranger punched me in the mouth and was like, hey, man, what's up? And was like super nice about it. I would be I would just stand I would just stand there confused. I wouldn't know to run away because I would my brain just wouldn't know how to compute that. I know your brain doesn't work like that because every time my contact would get messed up, you would stop and then I would take you out and knock you into the couch.
00:37:35
Speaker
Yeah, i absolutely. But that's I'm saying even with a stranger. yeah. They just came up to me and like shoved me as hard as they could but then started talking to me like we were friends. I would just i would just ignore the shove and talk to them like we were friends. Yeah.
00:37:47
Speaker
like i I was pretending that didn't happen because I wouldn't know how to I wouldn't it can't process it yeah so like I would have been in the grandstands just said that well they said they're friendly I would have been they would have shot me I would just maybe it's just the birds let's try again maybe it's an accident yeah yeah yeah what about characters No.
00:38:10
Speaker
Yeah. You didn't like Jack Nicholson as the president? I like Michael J. Fox and Sarah Jessica Parker, but they're not the most important parts of this movie. I just liked those two characters. Yeah. Jack Nicholson's a great president.
00:38:22
Speaker
I think he's the best the best president that they could have picked out of this one with all the people that were in there. The casting was good, man. I liked freaking Jim Brown, yeah Danny DeVito. i the the Everybody on the cast did a good job. I just didn't understand what anyone was doing or why.
00:38:38
Speaker
Well, I picked ah Sylvia Sidney, the Juno, your caseworker, um as the grandma. She, um I always like her. Plus, apparently she showed up every day. She had this dog that she named, it's a tiny little barking dog ah named Malcolm X that would bark at everybody. And she would just chain smoke and yell at people while the dog barked every time the camera wasn't rolling. Um, that's hilarious that an old lady is just getting super angry. Uh, but I liked her in all the things that I saw her in. And then I picked Jack Nicholson. Well, hold on. Sylvia Sidney, the who's the grandmother. She's, um, 86. When this movie shot, it's her final film. The first credit on her IMDb is from 1927. Um,
00:39:29
Speaker
Yeah. that's us She's freaking out there with 70 years of experience. So that is pretty amazing. that That's a lot. she was i think she was probably, when was she born? Was she in? 1910. 1910. So she's 16 in that first movie. That's pretty crazy that she was still making movies.
00:39:50
Speaker
Yeah, man. And like, dude, and if you look at her IMDb, it's it goes steady. Like 1927, 1929, 1930, five movies in 31, four in 32. Like works steadily through the thirty s and 40s and then has like a 16-year gap from 56 to 71 where I'm assuming she probably has kids.
00:40:07
Speaker
But then is back all through the 70s, all through the eighty s This woman never took any time off from 1927 1996. Oh, man. That's crazy.
Sylvia Sidney's Career and Tim Burton's Vision
00:40:16
Speaker
oh man that's crazy Actually, i stand corrected. She didn't take time off in the 50s and 60s. She just was doing TV. it's Oh, bunch TV credits. she's Nice. gee um Yeah, she's got a ton of stuff. I just pulled it up.
00:40:33
Speaker
Yeah. and So I like when you see random people like that, that normally if I watch this movie, I'm not going to be Googling her, but we're doing the podcast. like how much Check it out. i'm like, dude, this woman I've, who I've never heard of except for from Beetlejuice did a million things.
00:40:47
Speaker
I'm not your coach. He died in a crash. um Yeah, I like her and Jack Nicholson. And the last one, I just put the Martians. I thought, I know they were supposed to look campy, and I thought they did. And Frank Welker doing the ak-ak, and no matter what they say, it's always just ak. I freaking love that.
00:41:05
Speaker
That's fantastic. I mean, those are my three. Everybody did a good job. And I like this. Michael J. Fox's last live action movie because he had Parkinson's at this point. So he mainly moved to doing voice acting stuff. And he's done a couple of TV things here and there. But this is his last. This is Michael J. Fox's last movie.
00:41:22
Speaker
So, I mean, he's alive. He could do another one. But yeah, he hasn't done one since. Man, that's crazy. Yeah.
00:41:31
Speaker
Writer, director. Tim Burton. Tim Burton is the director. Also did a bunch of their writing. Jonathan Jims is the writer. He wrote 12 drafts of this script. He's got the soul screen story and screenplay credit.
00:41:46
Speaker
Uh, but then he, uh, wrote a novelization of the movie, which I'm not going to read. And he dedicates the novelization to Tim Burton. He's like, he co-wrote the screenplay and he didn't want to credit.
00:41:58
Speaker
That's awesome. Yeah. Um,
00:42:03
Speaker
i Dude, I freaking, I like Tim Burton. Looking at his stuff, he's freaking, he's cool. He's done a lot of stuff I like. He's done a lot of stuff I like, but that's the thing. I appreciate an auteur who's like, some stuff is going to be, people are not going to like it, and some stuff people are going like, but I don't give a shit. I'm just going to continue to do things that I think are awesome. Like, that's how you should make stuff, like in my opinion. So I'm a big fan of that. I'm a big fan of Kevin Smith. If he shoots movies with his friends, just standing around talking about whether Superman could have sex without a kryptonite condom. like yeah He's not trying to make it to make money. He's just like, this is awesome. I'm going to make this movie. yeah
00:42:41
Speaker
Dude, I also like how he called it Mars Attacks because looking at the movies that they were paying homage to is just like... Planet Nine from Outer Space, the War of the Worlds, Target Earth, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Earth versus the Flying Saucers. You just come out and you name it what it is and that's it.
00:42:59
Speaker
It's like the first line of a church song. mars Mars Attacks! exclamation point You don't see a lot of punctuation in film titles. so Yeah, I like that. yeah i like that um
00:43:13
Speaker
Worst? Or do you got any more bonus goods? and No, no. I think we talked about all the people in the that were that showed up in the movie. So that was the only other thing I had. Oh, the guy from ah Rod Steiger is the guy that played the general that wanted to nuke everything. yeah He's from In the Heat of the Night. That's where he he got ah an Oscar for that or a whatever award for that. He was just as angry in that. i like how he brought that Cold War energy. But that's it dude that's the only person we didn't talk about.
00:43:45
Speaker
I think nice. Yeah. I did see you on Wikipedia and I wanted to mention non-tour listeners so much because I don't know if they care, but to you that they made uh, like a park management video game based on this film. It's called Mars attracts, which came out last year, which is kind of like, I'm guessing probably like a railroad rollercoaster tycoon, which you love those types of games.
00:44:06
Speaker
I'm on it. Yeah. That's ridiculous. though Why would they make that? It's completely ridiculous. Yeah. Holy shit, it is like that. it's Dude, it's just like the roller coaster games. You're just building shit on Mars.
00:44:21
Speaker
Oh, my God. A theme park management game set on Mars. what Dude, what's the... ah The first article on Google is, Mars Attracts is a act actually pretty damn good.
00:44:37
Speaker
ah and That's the name of the article. Dude, what's the ah what's the gravity like on Mars? Is that why they said it on Mars? So you can like make cool rides that don't have gravity? Dude, I think Mars is similar to Earth, maybe a little bit lighter. Dude, I...
00:44:59
Speaker
I'm going to need figure out if I want to spend $32 on this. 38% of Earth's gravity because it is smaller and less dense. A person weighing 100 pounds on Earth would only weigh 38 pounds on Mars. So you would only weigh 120
00:45:13
Speaker
rush and I have no idea. It's probably pretty close. Um, 25 bucks. That might be worth it I'm going to have to see what's up this summer. and Well, I think it's just a guy. Like he was just a guy. He just posted on Reddit. It was like, I made a Martian rollercoaster game based on Mars, Mars attacks. That's amazing.
00:45:32
Speaker
Amazing. Yeah, man. Worst. Um, I don't, I don't, honestly, I don't feel qualified to talk like, Frickin' Captain Ron.
00:45:43
Speaker
That's easy for me to criticize because it's supposed to be a comedy and it wasn't funny and I know about comedies. But I don't know. I don't even know what this was supposed to be. I can't even say what they were doing wrong. For all I know, they made it exactly the way they wanted to and I just don't understand it.
00:45:56
Speaker
um Like I can critique R&B, but I can't critique like modern jazz. I don't know what the hell they're trying to do. Right. Yeah. No, I get that. I don't even have any words because I don't fucking understand.
00:46:07
Speaker
Martin Short, though, he was in Cap'n Run, and he was in this one. What if he would have done the gorilla bit? Would you have been okay with that then? Go, Villa.
00:46:19
Speaker
Somebody was talking about guerrilla warfare pretty recently, and they wrote it, and it was and they wrote it G-O-R-I-L-L-A, and I was uh... Gah, not go. And I had the thought, I was like, they should watch Captain Ron. Clear that up for them. i Always stay clear of the ladder, boss. um Yeah, dude, the the thing that you're knocking about the movie is the same thing everybody would knock on. That's the worst part about everything. is It just... It feels like a bunch of sketches all put together with a shitty B movie horror sci-fi thing from the 50s, which, again, I think is what it was supposed to be.
Understanding Tim Burton's Perspective and Aesthetic Choices
00:46:57
Speaker
And I liked it. I like I shouldn't say we'll never talk to Tim Burton because we just talked to Ron Shelton and he's a writer director and he's done some pretty big stuff. Yeah, I was happy to talk to us. So maybe Tim Burton would talk to us. But I would love to just be like, dude, could you explain this to me? Yeah. He might like tell me to fuck off and he might go, I'm not going to explain my art, Warren.
00:47:19
Speaker
But I, but I'm, I'm, I'm curious. Yeah. No, a dude, I think it's just an homage to all those. That's like you have industrial light and magic that can make everything look awesome. And he says, no, no, no. Back it off just a scotch. Make them look all herky jerky. Make them look a bit rubbery. Awesome is not going for here. We're going for campy 50s. Right, right, right. And I think it was an intentional comedy spoof. um But old tech, I like how they made it look like the 50s and the 60s. Everything had like the spinny ah satellite dishes and the big CRT TVs. I like that. What about how they made it look like the 90s, like by talking on Motorola cell phones where you had to flip the thing out and then pull the antenna?
00:48:02
Speaker
Yeah. I like that. I like that a lot. Um, what'd you think of the command room that they were in where it's like the big circle, but the maps on the floor, but then there's another map behind him. And then there's a bunch of people like sitting off to the side that look like they're answering phones in a telethon. Uh, I like that. I don't know why I like that room.
00:48:24
Speaker
I'm fine with it. I'd like that kind of stuff is what I remember from the movie. I don't know why, but that just like you said, Tim Burton's visual, that's the stuff you're going to remember. All right, let's do five questions.
00:48:35
Speaker
Yeah. Is it okay for kids? Did your kids watch this? Cece gave up and left the room. Jake watched most of it. um She only gave up because she wasn't interested, not because it was too gory or... Right.
00:48:47
Speaker
Like, that wasn't a thing. She made a smart choice. It's PG-13, but I mean... Yeah. Like, aliens, like, turning blue and green. is it's not It's not even violent, really. it just looks like someone dropped a jar of jelly. Right.
00:48:58
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. ah It's very cartoonish violence, and um i think I think it's fine. um Could it get made again? You think they could make an an ensemble sci-fi comedy homage spoof to the 50s for
Spoofing Nostalgia in Modern Films
00:49:16
Speaker
$70 million? dollars i don't think they can do it for $70 million. dollars And I don't think you can spoof the 50s in the 2025, 2026, because no one remembers.
00:49:25
Speaker
like Everyone who remembers is our parents' age, and they can barely remember whether or not they're wearing their glasses while they're wearing their glasses. Right. So do you do you do the 1980s spoof? I think you could spoof the 70s or the 80s. And i I feel sure if Tim Burton wanted to do, like, let's do a movie based on trading cards ah from the 80s and 90s and get get an A-list ensemble cast. I feel sure that he could do that.
00:49:49
Speaker
Not for 70 million though, right? I mean, no like I just went through and said like, all right, these are the really famous people right now that could do the thing. Like I want Denzel doing the president.
00:50:01
Speaker
Could Denzel, wouldn't he take up the whole 70 million? Like how much does Denzel make? I think when you do ensemble stuff like this, and you, especially if you know it's going to be like, no one's making a ton of money. It's like, dude, just come in and do it for scale. You're, we're going to shoot you in four days yeah and you'll be one of 20 actors. And that like, right. I'm looking at the poster. There's five build top five, top build Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito.
00:50:25
Speaker
Yeah. So you, I mean, you probably go like, we'll give the, we'll give the top bill people like a couple million, but like, dude, just come out and do this thing. Yeah. And if it's Tim Burton, he's not getting Denzel, he's getting freaking Johnny Depp.
00:50:36
Speaker
Right. so keaton And like, oh, he just likes to work with the same people. Yeah. I get that. He could totally do this. I don't know what trading card series he's going to base it on. I want him to redo. Garbage Pail Kids. Can we do that one?
00:50:49
Speaker
They already made that movie. It was bad. Damn it. ain't dead It's worse than this. Um, What about Jim and the rockers? You think you could redo like a live music Jim and the rockers cartoon? That's not trading cards. I don't think, but no, like he could, it's super eighties and it's pretty like, I know about it, but like, and I'm sure people listening to this have heard of it, but like, it's not super well known right now. You could make that make a comeback.
00:51:17
Speaker
Remember when they made the Pussycat Dolls come back? No, wait, not Pussycat Dolls. That i was an actual band. What was the thing with... the
00:51:29
Speaker
Oh, freaking hell. They made a band, remember? Were they called the Pussycats? I don't know. it was in like the late ninetyties
00:51:42
Speaker
Who was in it? Rachel, what's her name? joe Josie and the Pussycats. Josie and the Pussycats. Rosario Dawson, Rachel Lee Cook, Tara Reid.
00:51:53
Speaker
Yeah. It's like that, but from the 80s. Jim and the Rockers. Okay. Bring it on, Tim Burton. Make it crazy. but sure put Put a head on a chihuahua.
00:52:05
Speaker
Movie or TV show? Movie. It's got to be movie do yes that'd be a movie. You do any recasting? I mean, I just went down the list and picked all the most popular people that were the same age as the other people.
00:52:17
Speaker
ah But it's just all like, yeah, instead of Jim Brown, I want Idris Elba. Instead of Tom Jones, I want Usher. And in instead of frigging,
00:52:28
Speaker
um i don't know, what's his name? I want Denzel Washington. So like I went through and made a list, but I want Patton Oswalt instead of De DeVito.
00:52:40
Speaker
so like Stuff like that. I like it. Yeah. ah But it's got to be a whole lot of people to make you want to watch this if they remake it No amount of people is going to do that for me, but let's go to, can you still watch and enjoy this movie? ah Dude, I like it.
00:53:00
Speaker
i'm know It's six out of six and a half. I'm going to watch this again for sure. I didn't see it streaming du to i didn't see it streaming anywhere for free, and to rent it was $6 instead of $2.99. two ninety nine Did the prices go up?
00:53:12
Speaker
I pulled it up on Plex. as the I had to watch it with ads, but I pulled it up on Plex and watched it for free. Oh, nice. The Plex thing that they have that plays TV and movies or whatever it's called. Cool.
00:53:26
Speaker
But yeah, you can rent it if you're if you want to pay $6 to Fandango at home or whatever it's called. Yeah, or YouTube or Amazon or any Apple, any of them. Yeah. up Cool.
00:53:37
Speaker
All right. Well, anything else? What are we doing next? Next up, The Rock. Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I got to work on my my Sean Connery.
00:53:51
Speaker
Oh, I got a good Sean Connery. I can do the whole thing like Sean Connery. You know, sometimes I'll do like a British accent. It'll slip into Irish or Scottish. But yeah I feel like I could do Sean Connery the whole time and it would be fine.
00:54:03
Speaker
Once I watch the movie, it'll come back to me. But i can't just I can't get it right now off the top. Who's the other person in that? Nick Cage? Nick Cage. Yeah. Can you do a Nick Cage impression? No, i just it always ends up being Keanu Reeves.
00:54:18
Speaker
and You know, it's funny you say that because, uh, via con Dios. Yeah.
00:54:29
Speaker
Via con Dios. Thanks for listening to Movie Life Crisis. Please subscribe, rate, and review, and remember, don't drive angrily.