Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Enlighten Up, the Hilarapy podcast with Lizzie Allen and Karina Lauren.
Speaker: We take hard topics, throw them up in the air and dissolve them with laughter.
Speaker: Each week we feature a comedian from the Hilarapy course and we discuss topics from the set.
Speaker: From sexual shame to getting older, we tackle it all with Hugh
Speaker: I'll tell you where my Christmas went.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: Obviously.
Speaker: I know it will.
Speaker: Because you're manifesting.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But you'll be in England.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Living your own Dickens Christmas.
Speaker: I'm going back to that.
Speaker: Here we go.
Speaker: A Dickens.
Speaker: Chicken Dickens.
Speaker: A chicken Dickens Christmas.
Speaker: That's for darn sure.
Speaker: And.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: The day this comes out, the day you folks are listening to this, our own Liz Allen.
Speaker: It's Lizzie Allen.
Speaker: It's Lizzie Allen.
Speaker: We'll be heading to India tomorrow.
Speaker: I love how you point behind you like India's that way.
Speaker: She's going to India.
Speaker: I'm going to India.
Speaker: I had a calling.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You had a calling.
Speaker: Did you have a dream or did you just get hit with a waking vision?
Speaker: It happened so quickly.
Speaker: Well, I got an India mug on Facebook marketplace couple of like about three months ago because you can only get them in India.
Speaker: They're the Starbucks ones.
Speaker: You get them on location, but it has the gate of India.
Speaker: And I thought, I want to manifest India.
Speaker: But I thought, well, India's not in my path for years because I've got North America.
Speaker: I've got all this other stuff going on.
Speaker: Then I say to myself, like just the other day, I say, I need to go on retreat because I need to clear away all this past energy of the breakup of...
Speaker: Um, just all these changes and shifts I've been going through.
Speaker: I need to go and be really quiet before I go to America and do this HRP.
Speaker: Like, and before my career takes off so big that I just become so fricking famous, I can't go anywhere without rolling 20 deep in the club.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Recognized everywhere.
Speaker: Rolling 20 deep.
Speaker: Rolling 20 deep.
Speaker: Because I'm a PIMP people.
Speaker: Don't know what you heard about me.
Speaker: I'm the pimp and the hoe.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm pimping and hoeing myself, okay?
Speaker: The whole package.
Speaker: This whole package.
Speaker: Watch out.
Speaker: I'm probably at like over 10,000 followers if you're listening to this on Instagram.
Speaker: Seriously.
Speaker: So you knew, you knew.
Speaker: I need to have this calm for just me to reset.
Speaker: I said to myself, I was sitting and I said, I need to go on retreat.
Speaker: That came into my mind.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Then what happened?
Speaker: I go the next morning to the dog park unusually early.
Speaker: An Indian woman stops me to tell me how great my hair is.
Speaker: And I say, it's not that great.
Speaker: I just got out of bed.
Speaker: She went, no, it's great.
Speaker: So we stopped to talk.
Speaker: And then she starts talking about India, mentions an ashram, and like a green light goes off in my whole bloody body.
Speaker: I'm like, I need to go to an ashram.
Speaker: Are you going to the ashram she mentioned?
Speaker: No, she was saying go up north, but I've been up north before and I thought I need to go to Kerala.
Speaker: And I found the ashram within a day and a week later I booked my flight and I'm going.
Speaker: So I'm flying straight from London.
Speaker: London!
Speaker: Okay, talk to me about this ashram situation.
Speaker: And the reason I say this is because...
Speaker: I have seen what I think was maybe an ashram in the movie Eat, Pray, Love with Julia Roberts.
Speaker: I think that's where she was.
Speaker: Then I also had a friend do a retreat in India, but it was like for Kundalini yoga.
Speaker: And she said she just had to sit on the cement floor for like eight hours a day.
Speaker: You're not doing that, are you?
Speaker: I'm not doing that one, no.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But ashrams come in many shapes and sizes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And they have been going for a few thousand years, I presume.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: And they're basically, I don't know.
Speaker: But they've been going for a long time and they're places to live spiritually and go within.
Speaker: But they have a timetable that you follow and you take part in the ashram life.
Speaker: You just don't just do your own thing.
Speaker: And you don't leave the ashram except on Fridays where they have like a free day and you can go off and do what you like.
Speaker: So you follow a routine and it's made up, this particular one is made up of teachings, two yogas a day, chanting, meditation and service yoga where you clean and stuff.
Speaker: So some aspects of the day are silent and I'm staying in a 32 bed dorm.
Speaker: Wait.
Speaker: And it's $14 a day.
Speaker: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker: Rewind, rewind.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: First of all, by dorm, do you mean it's a giant hall with beds like an orphanage?
Speaker: No, it's got actually partitions.
Speaker: So between these high partitions are two beds.
Speaker: So it's like you're, yes, in a big room with 32 other people,
Speaker: if it's filled up.
Speaker: Um, but you're like, you just, you can really only see the other person.
Speaker: So it's a little bit private, you know, a little bit private.
Speaker: And I just want to, I just want to be really simple and just follow, you know, have some discipline and follow the, I really do.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So could you find an ashram that doesn't involve a service aspect?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, I like the idea of that.
Speaker: No, but I'm just saying, like, could people, could you look up a cushy ashram where it's like... Yeah, they have, they have.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But they're not so much ashrams then.
Speaker: They become more of a sort of, you know, the idea is that you live with much more simplicity.
Speaker: You can get swanky freaking ashrams.
Speaker: Of course you can.
Speaker: You can get them here in BC.
Speaker: You can go to an ashram because the ashrams have sister centers all over the world, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So set up by particular swamis or what have you.
Speaker: I'm just, I mean, this one just seemed to just call to me and it's in Kerala.
Speaker: Kerala is the garden state.
Speaker: It's the bottom of India, South India.
Speaker: It's got rivers running through.
Speaker: It's got tea plantations.
Speaker: It's got hill stations.
Speaker: It's got it.
Speaker: It's got it all.
Speaker: It's got it bloody all.
Speaker: So I've got 21 days in the ashram.
Speaker: 21 days.
Speaker: And guess what?
Speaker: I land in the ashram on the 1st of January, which is my 14-day glean time and New Year's Day, and I'm going to rock it.
Speaker: That sounds amazing.
Speaker: I'm probably going to be so jet-lagged.
Speaker: You're probably going to cry.
Speaker: I'm probably going to cry a lot.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: But I had this idea that when anything happens in the ashram, I will, of course, make friends in the ashram.
Speaker: I'm a friend finder.
Speaker: I'm a friend magnet.
Speaker: You're a friend seeker.
Speaker: Everyone out there.
Speaker: potential friends are you listening here if i don't know you potential friends that's how i am that's how i roll definitely i already know in this ashram whenever anything funny happens which of course i will notice every time i will look find a pair of eyes of a friend i have made and i will go hashtag ashram life
Speaker: And if something happens that's funny and I can't tell anyone else, I'm going to hashtag my own leg with my fingers and say, hashtag Ashram life to my own self.
Speaker: I love talking to myself because that's when I burst out laughing the most, right?
Speaker: Because it's like a joke between you and yourself.
Speaker: But also if you're in a moment of silence, you could still do
Speaker: For those who can't see me, I just did the hashtag.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Good thing we're not going together.
Speaker: We can't behave.
Speaker: We can't sit next to each other in anything.
Speaker: But remember you were saying in the episode a couple of episodes ago about being your own best friend.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: That's how I am today.
Speaker: I am my own best friend.
Speaker: So I'm going to go to this ashram.
Speaker: I'm going to go through it all, but with my best friend, which is...
Speaker: It's the best.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: When I have a sad moment in the ashram and I will, because all the feelings have to come, I'm going to go.
Speaker: You're going to go.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: Best friend.
Speaker: I have you.
Speaker: And you're going to give your heart a hug.
Speaker: I love this for you.
Speaker: I thank you.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: I think I would, if I was going to do anything like this, I'd have to test it first.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: here like on a five to ten day retreat no in all silence don't you think i've done a ten day silent retreat at um in england and it was the uh the vipassana one which is very it's all over the world and it was incredible it was very very intense it was a beautiful center it's free and you pay on the back end so when you finished you can only give a give a donation if you complete it
Speaker: So I thought about doing the 10 day one here.
Speaker: And I had a friend who quote unquote escaped it after one day in a flurry of hurry because it was so triggering.
Speaker: I'd imagine it's difficult to stay completely silent.
Speaker: It's not actually.
Speaker: No?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: You just compartmentalize it.
Speaker: You go, okay, I only have to do an hour.
Speaker: You never sit for longer than an hour.
Speaker: So you sit for an hour, then you have five minutes to walk around, come back, sit down, five minutes, you know.
Speaker: Oh, you have to sit.
Speaker: But.
Speaker: Can you lay down?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Oh, I hate that.
Speaker: Yeah, it's challenging, but you're taught.
Speaker: You have a teaching every day through a video teaching, and then you really look forward to the food.
Speaker: As I do every day.
Speaker: Then you look forward to the part where you can go and lie on your bed for an hour and then get back up again.
Speaker: So you just take it piecemeal, right?
Speaker: You just take it piecemeal and you practice, but it's really...
Speaker: The discipline of it is just, you could do it, definitely.
Speaker: But the very first hour you sit down in a Vipassana, you panic.
Speaker: Yeah, I would.
Speaker: Because as soon as you close your eyes, you go, I can't do this for 10 hours a day.
Speaker: I'm going to die.
Speaker: And you can't look at anyone or communicate.
Speaker: So you can't go with your eyes to a passerby.
Speaker: You have to just be in your own space.
Speaker: You share a room with someone and don't say anything at all the whole time.
Speaker: You just do your own thing.
Speaker: So I started to talk to myself in the mirror, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Near the end.
Speaker: And I was going, I was going, oh, because I just started seeing this person that I really fancied.
Speaker: This is my ex-partner from a long time ago.
Speaker: And then I was stuck at this fricking and I was going, it was like Friday night and I was going, oh, what are you doing tonight?
Speaker: Oh, going out to drink a bottle of wine.
Speaker: I hope you have a really nice time.
Speaker: Oh, what am I doing?
Speaker: Oh, I'll be meditating again.
Speaker: And I was just making myself laugh because I kept like doubling back.
Speaker: Oh, what are you doing?
Speaker: Oh, thanks for asking.
Speaker: I'll just be sitting and breathing and concentrating on a tiny triangle at the end of my nose.
Speaker: That's the whole part.
Speaker: The first eight days, you just focus here.
Speaker: On the sensation of the breath.
Speaker: Look at you.
Speaker: You're just, she's rolling your eyes.
Speaker: She can't cope.
Speaker: You know what this sounds like?
Speaker: This sounds like excellent discipline and training in case we're all thrown in jail.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's what it sounds like.
Speaker: Does it?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Solitary confinement.
Speaker: But you can't have books.
Speaker: You can't exercise.
Speaker: You can't do anything.
Speaker: It's prison.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's worse than a treatment center.
Speaker: I don't know, because it's mind, right?
Speaker: It's your mind that has all this.
Speaker: And that's what you're learning is to watch the way that your mind drills and stuff.
Speaker: But the last day you're allowed to talk.
Speaker: Oh, Lord.
Speaker: What a treat.
Speaker: You couldn't shut me up after that.
Speaker: It was the worst.
Speaker: I just was like, oh, I was watching you and I thought you were doing fine.
Speaker: She was like, no, I was dying inside.
Speaker: I bet.
Speaker: I mean, then that's kind of cool because the shared experience comes together.
Speaker: whatever.
Speaker: It sounds like too much.
Speaker: I, you know, I can watch my thoughts at home.
Speaker: This, this ashram is not that, you know, there's plenty, there's, there's aspects of the day that are silent so that you do your part, you know, but then like the second half of the day, you are doing much more community stuff and there's sort of pictures of people hanging out together and, and, you know, and there's two yoga sessions a day.
Speaker: So I'm looking forward to just
Speaker: living clean, a couple of, you know, really like releasing everything and chanting and praying and just like, you know, farting and hashtag AshRam life jokes, making my reels.
Speaker: They got wifi there.
Speaker: Oh really?
Speaker: My reels.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you'll be able to follow me on Instagram at Lizzie Allen vision.
Speaker: If you're not ready.
Speaker: Yeah, please.
Speaker: If you're not following her, get on that.
Speaker: Oh, she just took her bracelet out of my hand.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because you said it smells.
Speaker: It's copper.
Speaker: It does smell.
Speaker: Like copper.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So yeah, ashram life.
Speaker: Cannot wait to hear about it.
Speaker: And it actually sounds pretty cool.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then the 10 days after, I'm going to stop talking about it now, but the 10 days after the ashram, I'm wandering around Kerala on my own on an adventure that is un-
Speaker: decided at this point so the best kind of adventure knows what's going to happen you that's where i might not come back i might marry an indian farmer okay i doubt it but this is where the universe gets to unfold its plans for you that you've been manifesting oh my god it's gonna be so good i love love love india for being just the most bizarre
Speaker: place you've ever been in your life.
Speaker: You can never not be in the moment in India because it is so interesting everywhere you look.
Speaker: You have to be in the moment there.
Speaker: Yeah, you have to be.
Speaker: You have to meet it in the moment.
Speaker: Yeah, this is exciting.
Speaker: This is going to be cannot wait to hear about this adventure.
Speaker: And I know our listeners are going to be like, oh, what's it going to be like?
Speaker: So moving on to our comedian of the night of the morning.
Speaker: of the day of the comedian du jour we have lee today yes lee will you please put your hands and hearts together can you put your hearts together put your hearts together a nice breast slap boom slap your breasts together motorboat yourself propel yourself forward it's lee
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: So, um, those first two bits tonight have really got me rethinking my life's fashion choices.
Speaker: Lizzie, you're awesome.
Speaker: Kay, wow.
Speaker: And, um, for the rest of you,
Speaker: I got to start this off a little bit differently tonight and some of you know the answer to what I'm going to ask.
Speaker: Please don't shout it out because we need the other people who don't know or just a little slower to get there to have time to acclimate.
Speaker: So this is, I'm warning you, this is a trick question.
Speaker: Okay, you know up front it's a trick.
Speaker: It's a conspiracy.
Speaker: They're out to get you, really.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: What weighs more?
Speaker: Five pounds of feathers, five pounds of rocks.
Speaker: Don't say it.
Speaker: I know you want to.
Speaker: Let them settle in with it because it's going to come back later on in the bit.
Speaker: All right?
Speaker: We need them to have time to figure it out.
Speaker: You can Google it.
Speaker: Ask your, you know, Google AI.
Speaker: It'll help you out.
Speaker: So, um...
Speaker: Holy cow, White Rock.
Speaker: Hello, White Rock.
Speaker: Or help me out here, those of you who are from here.
Speaker: Is it South Surrey?
Speaker: What is it?
Speaker: Huh?
Speaker: See?
Speaker: Half the crowd, White Rock, half the crowd, South Surrey.
Speaker: Yeah, right.
Speaker: And those people from Vancouver?
Speaker: They didn't even know how to get here.
Speaker: That's why they're late.
Speaker: That traffic was made up.
Speaker: True story, recently I mentioned to somebody that we were doing this bit here in White Rock and the guy seriously looked at me and said, where's that?
Speaker: And that led me to realize that, you know, some people in Vancouver are just so enthralled and happy with their lives that they have no reason to think beyond Boundary Road, you know?
Speaker: And yet, the other side of that coin is some of them's lives are so pathetic, they can't think beyond Boundary Road.
Speaker: Oh, wow.
Speaker: So, White Rock.
Speaker: As a kid, you know, I had to take the bus from Aldergrove Langley to Wall-E, then change buses, come all the way out to White Rock.
Speaker: It took like two and a half hours.
Speaker: And I always thought, you know, White Rock, beach with really big ruck with bird poop on it.
Speaker: But it was kind of fitting, you know, thinking of it that way because our neighbor in Blaine, all my childhood, I kept hearing these reports about accidental releases from their sewage facility.
Speaker: And so White Rock Beach would get closed, you know, two, three times a year.
Speaker: And I'm like, man, that's, I swam in that.
Speaker: And people are worried about that rock covered in poop.
Speaker: Oh, maybe that guy from Vancouver just crawled out from under that rock.
Speaker: So, but the other thing about White Rock, too, is my dad, he would come and pick us up and take us out every once in a while.
Speaker: And we didn't have swimwear, you know.
Speaker: So he'd take us to the beach.
Speaker: And if my dad says, you're going swimming, you're going swimming.
Speaker: It doesn't matter.
Speaker: So off come the clothes.
Speaker: And there I am in my Captain Marvel underoos.
Speaker: And I am running.
Speaker: I am doing the quarter mile out to the edge of the water, because we all know what it's like when the tide's out here.
Speaker: The sand forever.
Speaker: And I'm running, running, running at 800 meters out.
Speaker: Oh yeah, like Canada, we're going to do the metric system here.
Speaker: 800 meters out from the shore, like, oh, I'm far enough away now, I can stop running.
Speaker: And Captain America can take over.
Speaker: Here I am, I'm going to save the world.
Speaker: As soon as I get in the water, nobody can see my underoos.
Speaker: So, but that first quarter mile, I'm running for my life, because nobody's gonna see me.
Speaker: Okay, next, new beach.
Speaker: I'm in Honolulu in Hawaii.
Speaker: I'm five years old.
Speaker: My mom takes her three sons on a holiday.
Speaker: And there's one evening, we're out on the beach, we're at the luau, fire breathing, the lei, the hula, all that stuff is going on.
Speaker: The end of the thing, next thing you know, I'm running for my life.
Speaker: I'm running in the dark and I'm being chased.
Speaker: And I'm running, I'm running, I'm starting to get a little tired, but suddenly I see the familiar sign of the hotel we're staying at and I book it into the hotel and I run to the desk and I get the key and I race upstairs and I unlock the door and... 20 minutes later, my brothers finally catch me.
Speaker: My mom's still on the beach looking for me.
Speaker: Can you say trauma?
Speaker: My poor mom.
Speaker: Shout out to moms, eh?
Speaker: You know, I love my mom.
Speaker: So, so wow.
Speaker: So the mind of a five-year-old, you know, I was thinking, you know, there was a little bit of an age gap and my brothers didn't really want to teach me anything.
Speaker: My dad didn't really teach me anything because, you know, he spent all that time with my older brothers already.
Speaker: And so,
Speaker: there's little things going on and my dad wasn't a very good person, but he taught me this joke and it wasn't a very good joke.
Speaker: You know, misogyny ruled the day.
Speaker: And with the mind of a five year old, right?
Speaker: And I'm on a bus in Hawaii with my mom and her best friend and I'm like, hey, I wanna tell you this joke, Beverly.
Speaker: And she's like, okay, so I tell this joke and the joke basically culminates with me grabbing her breast.
Speaker: Five years old, I give her a honk honk.
Speaker: Well, actually it was a roadrunner meep meep.
Speaker: On public transit in Hawaii and the look on her face, she was shocked and my mom, trauma.
Speaker: How many different ways can you say drama?
Speaker: How many different ways can a child traumatize their parent?
Speaker: So the reason I'm talking about trauma is because that's what I suffered.
Speaker: This thing with hilarity, I didn't know it was going to be eight weeks of therapy with a little bit of comedy thrown on top for icing.
Speaker: But what it did for me was it actually showed me some things that I thought I had packed up and put away and resolved.
Speaker: And it helped bring some things forward that I needed to unpack a little bit more and help me live a little bit more of a free life.
Speaker: And I'm so grateful for that.
Speaker: And I'm grateful for my team too because, you know, we worked well with each other in helping each other through these things with the leadership that helped us along.
Speaker: So anyways, for those of you...
Speaker: Emergency responders in the crowd, police, fire, nurses, security, first aid.
Speaker: You guys are the true heroes, really.
Speaker: So as an emergency responder, I have a little bit of an OCD thing that, you know, I don't show up at the crowds and say, hey, everybody, I'm Lee, I got PTSD or I got OCD.
Speaker: But tonight it's appropriate because before the show,
Speaker: I went aisle by aisle, we made sure there was exactly enough space for each and every one of you to safely egress towards those two exit signs at the back of the room should the need occur.
Speaker: And by the way, there's no exit sign here, but there is an exit door here also, if it's needed.
Speaker: Yeah, see?
Speaker: Saved somebody's life tonight, I'm sure of it.
Speaker: You're welcome.
Speaker: So some of the things that happen when you're an emergency responder doing different tasks.
Speaker: I was manning a first aid room one day and a fellow comes in and his name is Norm.
Speaker: And Norm says to me, he says, hey, Lee, can I get a band-aid for a scratch?
Speaker: And I'm like, sure, Norm, what kind of band-aid would you like?
Speaker: Well, Norm, he's a little bit odd.
Speaker: And he says, well, Lee, maybe you should see it first.
Speaker: Did you hear that?
Speaker: They know.
Speaker: So he starts to pull the sleeve up on his arm and there's blood caked all over the side of his hand and it's kind of obvious there's something wrong there and he shows it to me.
Speaker: I'm like, Norm, like there's a gash on his arm.
Speaker: It's bad, really bad.
Speaker: I'm like, Norm, what happened?
Speaker: And Norm says to me, we were drinking.
Speaker: I fell.
Speaker: Now, it's 10 after 8 in the morning.
Speaker: We're just starting our work day.
Speaker: Norm, how long ago did this happen?
Speaker: He's like, it was still daylight out, I think.
Speaker: So with that in mind, Norm was obviously at some party.
Speaker: So I've got a couple of tips on things not to do at your friend's drinking party.
Speaker: The number one thing, ready for it, you guys?
Speaker: Did you catch up yet?
Speaker: No pillow fights.
Speaker: No pillow fights.
Speaker: No pillow fights, come on.
Speaker: Those of you who remember, I'll put the mic down for a sec.
Speaker: Get that pillow, wringing the feathers down into the bottom of that pillow, and you're just sitting around.
Speaker: Any of you remember getting hit by one of those?
Speaker: Five pounds of feather that really felt like a rock.
Speaker: Mom!
Speaker: Can you say trauma?
Speaker: It wasn't my mom's trauma that time.
Speaker: Another thing to do, not do, do not play hide the Johnny Walker on Randall.
Speaker: Because Randall sharpens knives for a living and he throws them.
Speaker: So, but one thing you may want to try, you find the drunkest person you know, or whatever they're on, convince them to put their phone on airplane mode and chuck it off the balcony.
Speaker: Because you know it just won't fly.
Speaker: So anyways, back to Norm.
Speaker: My friend Norm.
Speaker: So he's revealed his arm and there's a gash from his wrist to his elbow.
Speaker: Like seriously, the full length of his forearm.
Speaker: If it had gone any further up, it would have been humorous.
Speaker: But it's true.
Speaker: This is a true story.
Speaker: So I sit him down in the chair and I'm going to bandage him up and send him to the hospital for stitches.
Speaker: And I'm looking in the wound and there's like little bits of plastic.
Speaker: And I'm like, Norm, this isn't bleeding.
Speaker: Like I know you said, it happened last night, what's all this plastic bit in your wound?
Speaker: And he's like, we put liquid skin on it to stop the bleeding.
Speaker: That shit really works.
Speaker: Okay, so...
Speaker: What kind of party was he at that they had a gallon of liquid skin?
Speaker: They were drinking and kinking and kinking and drinking.
Speaker: And you know what?
Speaker: In conclusion, I have no conclusion.
Speaker: Good night, folks.
Speaker: Lee, everybody.
Speaker: Give it up for Lee.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Can you say trauma?
Speaker: Can we say trauma?
Speaker: Everybody's favorite topic.
Speaker: The family at the family of origin.
Speaker: The family after.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: Family origin.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That we all have.
Speaker: Who doesn't get out of childhood with scrapes and scars and emotional wounds?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I think it's part of growing up.
Speaker: Don't you?
Speaker: I think, I think.
Speaker: that life is trauma.
Speaker: I say this all the time.
Speaker: Life is traumatic, starts being born, pretty much carries on until you die.
Speaker: Get down with it.
Speaker: It's so true.
Speaker: You're in the womb.
Speaker: You're comfortable.
Speaker: Can we say trauma?
Speaker: Can we?
Speaker: We just did.
Speaker: Yeah, you're like cozy in the womb, you know?
Speaker: And then you... How about... Have you ever met those people who say that they remember being born?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You're like one of those people.
Speaker: Nah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Nah.
Speaker: I bet a...
Speaker: I did not remember.
Speaker: At one point you probably went, yeah, I remember.
Speaker: And then made up this elaborate story.
Speaker: I saw the light.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just want to get out of my mom.
Speaker: She's really pissing me off.
Speaker: Apparently I came out in like 45 minutes.
Speaker: So that might be true.
Speaker: That I wanted to get out.
Speaker: That's odd for a first child.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Can we say trauma?
Speaker: Can we?
Speaker: That must have been like a squeeze, right?
Speaker: Oh, I'm just shooting out.
Speaker: You're just popping out.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: How I arrive everywhere, just popping in, popping out.
Speaker: Just, you know, I'm going to make an appearance and then leave.
Speaker: You always leave people wanting more.
Speaker: That's your thing.
Speaker: And I always, I try to leave before it's over.
Speaker: And you always go, okay, then bye.
Speaker: And there's no sort of long goodbyes.
Speaker: It's just, okay, bye.
Speaker: And it's like, I thought I could say a couple more things to you before you went, but I guess I'll see you in a few weeks.
Speaker: Somebody told me that's called the Irish goodbye.
Speaker: You just leave.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Legit, don't overthink it.
Speaker: You just leave.
Speaker: You just leave.
Speaker: So, yeah, there's definitely some subjects there.
Speaker: Like, it is that whole family.
Speaker: Like, he talks about his siblings.
Speaker: He talks about his parents and doing things with, you know, the family.
Speaker: And it sounded to me all like kind of in that childhood stage, which is amazing.
Speaker: I mean, I hear this all the time.
Speaker: It's at age zero to six where we really form beliefs that are hard to shake after that age because we carry them with us for so long.
Speaker: And you know, and I know because it's part of our work in recovery is shaking those beliefs loose that no longer serve us.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: First of all, finding out what the beliefs are.
Speaker: Like, what are they?
Speaker: Because they're automatic after a while, aren't they?
Speaker: They're just, I'm not good enough.
Speaker: I'm unlovable.
Speaker: I don't matter.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think we, like, those become building blocks for further beliefs, right?
Speaker: Because if you start with that, yeah, you start with the core, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Are we having another moment?
Speaker: Oh, it's a moment from heaven.
Speaker: So, yeah, you start with that core of, like, I don't matter.
Speaker: And you find the proof, the evidence.
Speaker: It's like, I always like to use the example of when, I don't know, maybe you're deciding to get a new car, right?
Speaker: And you decide, I'm going to get a Ford Ranger.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: Sorry, I'm laughing because Lizzie just made the funniest face.
Speaker: And you've never seen, you've never noticed Ford Rangers before, but now that you're looking for it, you see them everywhere.
Speaker: Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker: This happens all the time.
Speaker: I like to use the example of going into a party, right?
Speaker: And if you have a belief that I'm...
Speaker: invisible right because that's another one i'm invisible that can happen if you were ignored a lot as a child and neglected right that becomes a kind of oh i'm invisible so then what happens is is you don't
Speaker: create any sort of, you sort of just drift into the background because you automatically, if you have that belief, you act like that belief.
Speaker: So you put your head down, you'll go into the party and you won't give people eye contact and things like that.
Speaker: But if you go into that party with the same, but with a different belief, which is I'm, I'm just like really open and friendly.
Speaker: And I always make friends.
Speaker: My belief is I always make friends because I always have.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think it's in my nature just to be like, do you want to be friends?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do you remember how I used to just march up to people?
Speaker: Then you go into the party, but your head is up, you look into people's eyes, and then your response you get is real-time response.
Speaker: It doesn't matter whether people want to be your friend or not.
Speaker: You're going to get a reaction of your belief.
Speaker: You're going to only be able to pick out the forward response.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You're only going to be able to pick out the one thing that confirms the belief that you have inside of yourself.
Speaker: That's why we go in recovery.
Speaker: We dig down deep and we bring that light into what is it I'm actually what's operating, what's running my show, what's running my operating system, what am I believing about everything?
Speaker: Well, yeah.
Speaker: And what's so interesting is that before I came into recovery, I was always running from.
Speaker: Because I just didn't think I would be able to survive.
Speaker: And maybe, truth be told, maybe I wouldn't have until it was time.
Speaker: Because as soon as it was time, I was open to running towards the lies and the pain and the beliefs that I felt inside.
Speaker: And once I was ready, I was ready.
Speaker: I was like, yeah, I'm done.
Speaker: I'm done with it.
Speaker: I think that's this moment that's really coming into fruition in my own recovery these days is the kind of acknowledgement that I'm not afraid of my shame anymore.
Speaker: I'm not afraid of, okay, here's shame.
Speaker: Immediately it's uncomfortable.
Speaker: Immediately it's bringing up thoughts of I'm unlovable.
Speaker: I'm wrong.
Speaker: I'm bad.
Speaker: Those are my old wounds, my old beliefs, I should say.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Caused by old wounds, whatever.
Speaker: But because I no longer give it my energy anymore, I can come into the body of the feeling, into my shame, and then just relax and let it pass.
Speaker: Because what I used to do is tense.
Speaker: I used to grip.
Speaker: And then I would tighten up.
Speaker: Then I'd try to ignore the shame.
Speaker: And I might do that in recovery with TV and eating or just trying to go out and just be busy or whatever it was and just not think, not think.
Speaker: Instead of now, it's like, oh, here's the shame.
Speaker: Let me talk it out with a friend.
Speaker: Let me speak about it in a room of people who are going to get me, understand me.
Speaker: Let me make comedy out of it so that I can find people who go, me too, me too, me too.
Speaker: Because as soon as I realize, hey, I'm not alone in this, then it's no longer a shame because it seems to be a universal experience.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: So, yeah, obviously I'm just totally like, oh, I think we're having a moment.
Speaker: I am anyway.
Speaker: You know what, though?
Speaker: I think you just you maybe just realized something is that we we have talked a lot about hilarity and comedy and therapy and all of that sort of stuff.
Speaker: I love how, by the way, we're drinking this pop.
Speaker: What is this?
Speaker: flavored water, but Lizzie keeps drinking too much at once and her eyes keep watering and then she puts her whole head back and I'm trying to maintain a serious- And I'm burping a lot, but I don't have to make any sound.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's like- I'm having a party over here.
Speaker: It's Friday night.
Speaker: She's like, make her neck's getting red.
Speaker: She's-
Speaker: It's Friday.
Speaker: It's Friday night.
Speaker: Madness over here.
Speaker: We've got flavored water.
Speaker: We've got pink group fruit.
Speaker: Pink group fruit.
Speaker: Sparkling water with no calories.
Speaker: Pink group fruit.
Speaker: It's got nothing in it.
Speaker: Oh, we are living la vida loca.
Speaker: Watch out.
Speaker: Watch out.
Speaker: So, okay, I just realized something.
Speaker: With your watering eyes.
Speaker: When...
Speaker: Here's the recovery therapy part.
Speaker: I did another massive goal for Zuna.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: She doesn't learn.
Speaker: I mean, you do learn.
Speaker: You do learn.
Speaker: Just maybe not on the sparkling water.
Speaker: It's really nice, though, isn't it?
Speaker: Because I feel maybe I was a bit dessert-like.
Speaker: Yeah, but maybe just take sips, like baby sips.
Speaker: Fine.
Speaker: Tell me what you were talking about.
Speaker: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker: What you said, I think, is the most important piece to digest about hilarity is that you find that root of that trauma or that belief, that false belief or whatever comes up for you.
Speaker: Because I will say like going through the hilarity course, things come up.
Speaker: Things are going to come up because you are putting yourself out there.
Speaker: You're trying something new.
Speaker: You're trying to, you're writing your story.
Speaker: You're writing comedy, whatever that looks like for you.
Speaker: And you're also practicing in a small intimate group, which for me is harder to do than actually going up on stage and performing in front of a hundred people because there's that energy.
Speaker: It's that small intimate group.
Speaker: So things come up like, what if I'm not good enough?
Speaker: nobody, people didn't laugh as hard as I thought they would.
Speaker: And everyone else is better.
Speaker: And you, you can get into these old patterns of thinking of what it means about you.
Speaker: So this is the beautiful part about that is that you and Ellen as such incredible facilitators and at Deneen is support and whoever else you have as support are able to go help people guide them through that.
Speaker: It's like, you're giving them a map of
Speaker: to get to that shame, that false belief, whatever, and feel it and then let it go.
Speaker: And then the whole group is there to come around with love and support.
Speaker: And so I've, I have seen so many transformations in this hilarity course that,
Speaker: By just allowing people space to go into that, feel it in a safe space and let it all go.
Speaker: And then what ends up happening is that you are now able to go.
Speaker: These people are able to go and I'm able to go on stage and talk about something that's
Speaker: And I can laugh at it because I'm whole now.
Speaker: It's no longer something I'm suffering with.
Speaker: I'm recovered from it.
Speaker: And so now I can look back and see the ridiculousness of it all and laugh about it, but tell it in...
Speaker: in a way that's like loving to myself.
Speaker: And I just think it's absolutely beautiful.
Speaker: It's such a unique way of doing comedy.
Speaker: And there's so many people out there that I've met that want to do standup comedy.
Speaker: But when they think about it, they think of like the CD bars where it's like, oh, people are going to tear me apart.
Speaker: It's not like that.
Speaker: Not with us.
Speaker: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Speaker: We support everyone.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: We do.
Speaker: We do.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you know, and it's not, um, everyone's at different parts of their journey and everyone shows up differently, uh, week in, week out, people hit their walls at different times and, you know, and some people are ready to take the course and some people are not.
Speaker: And that's just also the way it goes as well.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: That's the way the cookie crumbles.
Speaker: That is.
Speaker: But there's always shifts, like no matter, like some people have huge, ginormous shifts and you're like, wow, like wow.
Speaker: And then other people appear not to have really moved the, you know, the needle hasn't moved at all.
Speaker: But that's the wild thing about it is you can have an internal shift that is so big to you, but might look like nothing to the outside world.
Speaker: And I always remember that, like,
Speaker: you don't know how you touch people when we go around doing what we do in everyday life.
Speaker: We don't know our impact and the rolling impact of our impact on others.
Speaker: And I think that's a good thing for sure.
Speaker: But hilarity, especially this model where we get to move between like the sincerity of holding space for one another and
Speaker: the reverence of seeing and witnessing one another's plights, journeys, and then holding each other in sameness, love, respect, and all of those things.
Speaker: Then that sort of with the light game playing and the comical aspect and the hilarity and...
Speaker: the energy and all of that, the ability to move through that is a transferable life skill.
Speaker: And I like to think of it like a toddler.
Speaker: You know how a toddler will be like totally beside itself, crying and crying and crying.
Speaker: And then it can be like 30 seconds late, it can switch into being totally calm,
Speaker: happy, still tears streaking the face.
Speaker: And it's just like totally, it's almost like a storm passes in us.
Speaker: And that, and a toddler hasn't learned how to hold on and grip and brace against the feelings yet.
Speaker: And adults, we do.
Speaker: When we brace and resist, it persists.
Speaker: And we were taught to shut down.
Speaker: So often we were, it was safer.
Speaker: to shut down.
Speaker: But when we're adults and we get to be able to process and hold space for ourselves, which is what ultimately we're learning to do, is hold space for ourselves so we can process our own storms as they come through.
Speaker: And then reset and be calm as, you know, clear summer day.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even with the tears coming down our face.
Speaker: And that's what I think is kind of you don't get from your standard stand up scene because it's sort of crunched into a drinking environment and we want to keep it light and jovial.
Speaker: And there's no and there's no room for tears in that, is there?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But there is always room.
Speaker: I mean, there is.
Speaker: It's not that there's a law against it.
Speaker: It's that you just don't see it happen.
Speaker: So you don't think automatically you could take yourself into that space.
Speaker: But of course you can, but it's up to you anyway.
Speaker: I won't go on about it.
Speaker: I already did.
Speaker: Well, I just realized we haven't issued a challenge in a couple episodes, and I'd like to issue a challenge because when we were way back when, when we went to Whistler, I just, I don't know why I just remember this just now, but you, oh, cause you said something about, we don't really know the ripple effect of,
Speaker: of how we're showing up in the world, right?
Speaker: Whether that be, hey, I'm in addiction, I'm in active addiction, and I'm going around and I'm hurting people without even trying, right?
Speaker: I don't know what the ripple effect is, but we also don't know the ripple effect of us showing up in our light and really being our true authentic selves in a place of love.
Speaker: So when we were in Whistler way back when,
Speaker: Lizzie went into, we went into a store together and she comes, we came out and she was like, oh, that woman in there.
Speaker: I just want to go tell her how beautiful she is.
Speaker: Like she's really striking.
Speaker: And I believe, and this is my challenge.
Speaker: that you should do it.
Speaker: You, if you see someone and you're struck with it, which you did, you went back in, right?
Speaker: You probably made her day.
Speaker: She's probably even now every once in a while, just getting a little smile on her face, right?
Speaker: When people take the time, total strangers to come up and say, I really love the way that scarf looks on you.
Speaker: Or wow, your eyes are shining, whatever it is.
Speaker: That's my challenge.
Speaker: To all of you, it's the end of the year.
Speaker: Let's start 2024 with this beautiful bang of, we don't know what ripple effect we're going to have on people.
Speaker: So smile at the cashier, be more patient with people, help someone with their groceries, open a door, smile, tell someone they look great.
Speaker: I don't know what it is.
Speaker: That's my challenge.
Speaker: I like it.
Speaker: I really like it.
Speaker: And that was a really interesting thing.
Speaker: It's because Deneen said it as well.
Speaker: Deneen supports, oh, you heard her on a couple of episodes ago.
Speaker: She was at a gala and she said there was this really beautiful woman, but she was so beautiful that people were kind of like, you know, kind of a bit scared of approaching her, you know, that kind of striking, beautiful person.
Speaker: So she just marched on over and she went, you're really beautiful, right?
Speaker: And this woman just lit up because, you know, if you're really beautiful, which you are,
Speaker: People can sometimes feel, oh, because we get that comparison thing, don't we?
Speaker: And so they don't.
Speaker: And then you end up not knowing you're beautiful, right?
Speaker: Because we need to see each other reflected back in one another.
Speaker: And when we do that,
Speaker: I just, yeah, I love telling people like you have such a lovely smile and your face lights up.
Speaker: Like you have lovely energy.
Speaker: That's a really nice thing to say to someone.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You have really nice energy.
Speaker: I just want you to know that.
Speaker: And that's what I said to that woman in the shop.
Speaker: I said, I just want you to know that that's how I see you.
Speaker: And that's what I'm seeing when I look at you.
Speaker: And she was so like, besides, she was like, oh, and as we walked out, we could hear her going, oh,
Speaker: Boom.
Speaker: What a beautiful way to end the year.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So please comment.
Speaker: If you guys go do this, comment in our socials.
Speaker: We would love to hear, you know.
Speaker: Maybe you don't know the true effect and how it's hit their heart, but tell us all the love that you're spreading.
Speaker: We'd love to hear it.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: And in a day or two, it'd be happy new year.
Speaker: And I will be sitting cross-legged with jet lag in an ashram.
Speaker: Hashtag ashram life.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: Am I right?
Speaker: Am I right?
Speaker: All right, lovers.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: And well done, Lee.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Dear listeners, we are a two-woman shop here, and this is a little labor of love.
Speaker: So anything you can do to show us some love, our love language is subscribing, sharing on social media, and coming to one of our many shows.
Speaker: And if you're feeling really adventurous, take a course.
Speaker: Don't be afraid of a good time.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We're out.
