Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Enlighten Up the Hilarapy podcast with Lizzie Allen and Karina Lauren.
Speaker: We take hard topics, throw them up in the air and dissolve them with laughter.
Speaker: Each week we feature a comedian from the Hilarapy course and we discuss topics from their set.
Speaker: From sexual shame to getting older, we tackle it all with humor and heart.
Speaker: Our goal is to awaken the masses, promote love, and increase connection by dissolving shame, all while making you laugh until you pee your pants.
Speaker: So let's enlighten up and get started.
Speaker: Hello, hello, listeners, dear, dear listeners.
Speaker: We are on season two, episode six.
Speaker: The sixth.
Speaker: The sixth.
Speaker: The sixth sense of it all.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: We are here.
Speaker: You are here.
Speaker: I've been looking forward to this all week, you arriving at my house to do the podcast.
Speaker: Where the hell have you been?
Speaker: You just came in on a boat, didn't you?
Speaker: I came in on a boat, yeah.
Speaker: This morning.
Speaker: Yes, I whipped over to Salt Spring Island, did a quick tour.
Speaker: Tour?
Speaker: I did a tour.
Speaker: I did a tour of duty.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: In where?
Speaker: Salt Spring?
Speaker: In Salt Spring.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Had two of my three kids with me.
Speaker: It was a journey.
Speaker: And let me tell you.
Speaker: So I also have been looking forward to this because Lizzie, just for you, just for our dear listeners, I got up at 530 in the morning to get here.
Speaker: Oh, right.
Speaker: Well, we thank you.
Speaker: Me and all of the listeners that thank you for your service.
Speaker: Yeah, well, I had a moment this morning, which I was telling you earlier, but I didn't finish because you were like, stop, stop, save it for the podcast, right?
Speaker: Important.
Speaker: See, sometimes Lizzie and I, we get out all these good juicy things and then we're like, crap, we weren't recording.
Speaker: I've been trying to do Dr. Joe Dispenza becoming superhuman.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And you sort of go, well, what is it that I want?
Speaker: And you bucket it.
Speaker: Is it that I want to be more genius?
Speaker: Is it that I want more abundance?
Speaker: Is it that I want more creative inspiration?
Speaker: Or do I want to experience the mystical?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What did I choose?
Speaker: The mystical.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: But as part of the mystical, to me, attractive abundance is mystical, right?
Speaker: It's like magical when things just fall into place and you're like, what the hell just happened?
Speaker: Like someone's just given me a star and someone's creating a painting.
Speaker: Like that's magic to me.
Speaker: Yes, that's magic.
Speaker: Um, but I also, I think creative inspiration is part of the mystical as well, where you just wake up and you're like, I know I need to do this or I get a dream message.
Speaker: And it's like, I know I'm doing this.
Speaker: So I was thinking part of what I'm wanting to manifest is I don't want to work in the corporate world.
Speaker: forever.
Speaker: Like it'll kill me if I did it forever.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I'm not going to be till I retire.
Speaker: I'm working in tech.
Speaker: Like I just, I, it's not like who I am.
Speaker: So I want to be in a creative space where I can live my creative dreams, be a performer.
Speaker: But this morning I was driving when I was coming here and I was like, wait, this podcast, like it could be something.
Speaker: It could be like a big part of that.
Speaker: I'd never thought of that before.
Speaker: I'd never considered it like this could be a big part of me living my dreams.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Our mutual friend Deneen came up with a really good idea yesterday.
Speaker: Seminars.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: We could do seminars and between the chills, right?
Speaker: Chills.
Speaker: We could clear energy.
Speaker: We could do magic.
Speaker: We could do comedy and play.
Speaker: We could do eye gazing.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: We could get loads of people together and just manifest massive waves of joy energy.
Speaker: I literally... Do you love that?
Speaker: Guys, sometimes my upper body gets chills, but sometimes my upper and lower body gets chills, and that's what just happened.
Speaker: Did that just happen in your... It started at top.
Speaker: Vortex.
Speaker: Vortex.
Speaker: It started not in the nether regions.
Speaker: It started in the arms, went to the legs.
Speaker: But it did go to the nether regions.
Speaker: No, it did never go to the nether regions.
Speaker: It did never.
Speaker: Well, it did center in my nether regions today.
Speaker: That is where this spinning out from my base chakra.
Speaker: Okay, here's the thing.
Speaker: For me, when it goes into the legs, the legs are the tree trunks.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The legs are the roots to the soil.
Speaker: The roots to the soil of the soul.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: Stop.
Speaker: I can't even cope with this.
Speaker: I can't even cope with this right now.
Speaker: What are we even doing doing a podcast?
Speaker: We should be writing this retreat right now.
Speaker: It's not a retreat.
Speaker: It's seminars.
Speaker: Same thing.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: We could do both.
Speaker: Retreats are even better.
Speaker: Retreat.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: Not better.
Speaker: Different.
Speaker: Imagine a retreat, but somewhere really cool like Costa Rica.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Also, imagine we're one of those people who it's like cruise ship.
Speaker: Oh, cruise ship freaking seminar slash retreats.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: We're high fiving that.
Speaker: Rejig your life.
Speaker: Rejig it.
Speaker: We call it.
Speaker: Get rejiggy with it.
Speaker: And oh my God, we have dance parties.
Speaker: And it'll all be completely sober and clean.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Because of the vibe, right?
Speaker: Nothing to do with whether you drink or don't drink.
Speaker: You are so welcome.
Speaker: Whether you're smoking your crack pipe on the weekends or not, just do not bring it on that cruise ship because this, my friends, is high vibing, tribing all the way to the... It's the dome....imbibing.
Speaker: Yeah, imbibing.
Speaker: Because otherwise, what are the alternatives?
Speaker: Your crystallized body sitting in an office chair, dead from the corporate world.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's going to be, what is that?
Speaker: Oh, petrified.
Speaker: Petrified body.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, someone who will just find you one day.
Speaker: Rigor mortis set in.
Speaker: No, you joke, but seriously.
Speaker: Oh, I'm deadly serious.
Speaker: If you're in six meetings a day, seven, eight, nine meetings a day.
Speaker: You will die.
Speaker: You don't move your legs, right?
Speaker: You will die.
Speaker: Rigor mortis.
Speaker: You will die.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That is a straight up fact.
Speaker: If you're listening to this and you're in the corporate world, get out.
Speaker: Yeah, and if you're listening to this, do not be afraid to start a GoFundMe to get Karina out of the corporate world.
Speaker: Do not be afraid to raise money for Karina.
Speaker: She is in dire trouble, my friends.
Speaker: And if you need her like we do, then you need to start that GoFundMe page right now.
Speaker: And please, if you need, well, obviously you do need the PayPal account of Karina to send all the funds her way so she doesn't have to.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Do you know what I do?
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: I just, I know.
Speaker: I over-egged the pudding, but we haven't.
Speaker: Because listen, we should stage a bunch of photo shoot pictures of me added to
Speaker: the desk right almost like calcifying over the week it took 14 days we did a test we did a we did a test not a test what do you call it an experiment yeah to see how long without a break it would take for Karina to calcify and die at her office chair
Speaker: Like a taxidermy mouse at a desk, just slowly.
Speaker: The corporate world.
Speaker: It's hard, people.
Speaker: It's hard.
Speaker: And I guess some of you are out there listening to this, shaking your head.
Speaker: No, nodding your head in agreement.
Speaker: You get it.
Speaker: You get it.
Speaker: You get it.
Speaker: You're with me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And some of you have escaped.
Speaker: You know, we want to hear your stories.
Speaker: So tell us your stories.
Speaker: Also, as a result, by the way of this, I've been thinking maybe just maybe I could be ready to step foot and manage our enlighten up hilarity Instagram account.
Speaker: This is big news for me because I have been trying to get you into that space for a while and you have had don't.
Speaker: I'm cold sweating.
Speaker: You know what you have to do?
Speaker: change your thought forms around it because it is not the monster it previously was.
Speaker: It has changed.
Speaker: It has transformed.
Speaker: It is now the conduit for you to reach the people.
Speaker: and escape the corporate world.
Speaker: Well, that's just it.
Speaker: I think the people will understand that if, you know, when you're in the corporate world and you're on a computer nine hours a day, you don't want to be on your phone.
Speaker: That's why I've been so resistant because it's like, I need a break.
Speaker: Unless the energy is so high vibing that you go there for your comfort and relief.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I thought you were going to say release.
Speaker: I was like, that's... I go to a different place for that.
Speaker: But anyways, we... Hey, we need the high-vibing tribe, right?
Speaker: Save Karina.
Speaker: Hashtag save Karina.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Save Karina.
Speaker: So... We could sell mummies off you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, little petrified corporate mummies of you.
Speaker: God, we have so many product ideas.
Speaker: These are business plans coming out of our yin-yang over here.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So we are at episode six.
Speaker: Exciting.
Speaker: We've got Sarah, who we did feature her in season one.
Speaker: And she is a magnificent, growing hilarapist.
Speaker: A tour de force, if you will.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And she's coming back at us with, because then she went through the HilariP HRP program, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I'm actually really excited.
Speaker: I think Sarah is Hussularious.
Speaker: Hussularious?
Speaker: Hussularious.
Speaker: Hussularious.
Speaker: Hussularious.
Speaker: She is Hussularious.
Speaker: That's your name, Sarah.
Speaker: Sarah.
Speaker: Mixed with Hilarious, in case you hadn't worked it out.
Speaker: Have you noticed what I'm doing today?
Speaker: You'll say something and I finished the last syllable.
Speaker: What is happening?
Speaker: I didn't.
Speaker: That means to end.
Speaker: But when I edit this, I will notice for sure.
Speaker: And you'll go, what the freaking...
Speaker: So just rewinding a little bit, because you sent me a photo of your new book, not the one you just mentioned.
Speaker: No, you didn't mention a book by Hispensa.
Speaker: What's his name?
Speaker: Yeah, Joe Dispenza.
Speaker: Dispenza.
Speaker: But you have that other book, How to Become Supernatural.
Speaker: That's by him.
Speaker: Oh, that's by him, isn't it?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: How to Become Supernatural.
Speaker: See, we're a gang.
Speaker: We're a comedy gang.
Speaker: We have a comedy gang.
Speaker: And Karina is the magical one, the magician, the kind of...
Speaker: if we were in olden times she would be the con artist you know the kind of trickster she'd come back with bags of coins and we'd go where did that come from that that wasn't part of the mission and she'd go don't ask any questions i sold some tonic she sold some freaking tonic she just yeah yeah and and that tonic probably worked uh but now we have the police after us and we have to get out dodge and
Speaker: Because she didn't have a license for that.
Speaker: You'd be the vaudeville performer.
Speaker: Yes, I'd be the vaudeville.
Speaker: Well, I'd kind of be the kind of master of ceremonies, I reckon, or the, I think, the kind of pimp, the P-I-M-P.
Speaker: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker: That's just true.
Speaker: Yeah, that's just true.
Speaker: That's just facts.
Speaker: Hashtag pimp.
Speaker: Because I think I've got, like, that kind of vibe.
Speaker: It's like...
Speaker: No, I'm gonna stop that one right there.
Speaker: I don't know where that was going, but I just had another idea.
Speaker: See, the ideas.
Speaker: Well, wouldn't it be so cool to have like a gypsy, a couple of gypsy caravans and we bring people through an old timey experience?
Speaker: I was literally thinking not of the specifics of it, but I was thinking, wouldn't it be really good if we had an experiential thing that the public could pass through?
Speaker: And I was thinking a warehouse, a
Speaker: And then they move through an experience through the warehouse.
Speaker: And you're talking about they could arrive into the space on gypsy caravans.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And actually this is not like super far fetched because there's a place I want to go in Vernon that I can't remember what it's called, but you get on, there's like big horses, those Clydesdale horses, and they pull almost like a moving bench seat.
Speaker: Oh, I don't know what you call it.
Speaker: And yeah, they take you, the audience to the different sets.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Isn't that cool?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So yeah, we could do something like that.
Speaker: Because it could be a secret location and they could start somewhere, right?
Speaker: And then they could be taken in because it could be on a patch of land, right?
Speaker: But you have it secret.
Speaker: So one ticket, $1,000.
Speaker: Well, sorry.
Speaker: We only have so many seats in the gypsy caravan.
Speaker: And we do a kind of, but as well, we do a kind of golden ticket thing.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: So there's going to be certain individuals who find golden tickets through avenues of, oh my God.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: And you know, that's going to get someone out of bed.
Speaker: That's been there for 25 years.
Speaker: Hold up.
Speaker: Is this a, is this a podcast or is this a business meeting?
Speaker: We should stop sharing our brilliant ideas.
Speaker: Get back to the task.
Speaker: You know, our fans, fans out there, people, we love you.
Speaker: You love us.
Speaker: Follow us.
Speaker: Write in.
Speaker: Like, I don't know.
Speaker: Are people writing in their ideas?
Speaker: They're on Instagram.
Speaker: Are they saying, hey, let's do this.
Speaker: Well, there's no one manning that ship at the moment.
Speaker: I'm going to be manning that ship.
Speaker: I'm going to be fee manning that ship.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: I'll be like the captain of the Titanic that didn't hit the iceberg.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Let's just change the boat name altogether, shall we?
Speaker: I think that ship has sailed.
Speaker: Yeah, that may be a good point.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay, so should we get on with our first?
Speaker: Let's roll into Sarah.
Speaker: Sarah, you know what?
Speaker: This has just been an absolute delight getting to know you and having you as part of this beautiful comedy therapy movement.
Speaker: Will you please, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and open your hearts for Sarah.
Speaker: Woof, woof.
Speaker: It is an honor to be here.
Speaker: You guys are really lucky.
Speaker: So originally I wanted to get up here and perform this really heartfelt set on some of my deepest pains and losses in recovery.
Speaker: But thanks to sobriety and this group of amazing people I got to do this with, I've developed a little bit of humility and realized I'm not quite there yet on my journey.
Speaker: There are some parts of my story that I'm just not ready to laugh at yet, and that's okay.
Speaker: Besides, this is a fucking comedy show.
Speaker: You guys don't want to hear about that.
Speaker: See, I'm a baby in recovery.
Speaker: I'm a 24 month old miracle.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: 24 months, so that's how you people with babies measure them or whatever, right?
Speaker: I don't have any kids, surprise.
Speaker: But I'm 24 months old, so I know like 75 words now.
Speaker: That's pretty good.
Speaker: I'm still drooling a little bit, so I do apologize to those of you in the front row.
Speaker: But I do know a lot of words for being two, and so I guess we could actually say that I'm kind of advanced.
Speaker: Um, but one of my favorite words lately is no.
Speaker: I use that word all the time.
Speaker: Hey, do you want to hear about our two-for-one sangria specials?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Hey, Sarah, do you want to go to Burning Man?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Hey, can you check out this weird mole I have?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Hey, can you help me solve all my problems even though I'm 47 and a fully capable adult?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No, no, no!
Speaker: I fucking love that word.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'll get better at forming better sentences as time goes on, I'm sure.
Speaker: So, a couple of other advanced things you guys should know about me.
Speaker: Yeah, there's more.
Speaker: First of all, I'm a vegan, and I just want to establish that right away so that you know I stand on a moral high ground and automatically recognize that I'm better than you.
Speaker: We all there?
Speaker: Yeah, second of all, and this one was really hard for me to come out with because I'm such a people pleaser and I just want to make sure that everyone's okay with everything that I do ever.
Speaker: But there's no room for people pleasing in recovery, so here we go.
Speaker: I've never done blow.
Speaker: That was an audible gasp.
Speaker: Now I know you're all sitting there judging me like...
Speaker: Kind of a fucking loser doesn't do blow.
Speaker: I want my money back.
Speaker: What a failure.
Speaker: Trust me guys, no one is judging me harder on this than I have judged myself.
Speaker: I drank for 20 years and I've definitely been around some of you when you're doing blow and just a lot of close talking and plan making and world domination type stuff.
Speaker: And see, I've got more of like a stoner, Elkie vibe.
Speaker: Besides, blacking out is way cooler.
Speaker: Some people trade sex for their drugs.
Speaker: That's cool.
Speaker: But I just use my drug and then have sex with people that I don't remember.
Speaker: For reasons that I still don't understand.
Speaker: Talk about emotional freedom.
Speaker: But when I came into recovery and I found out about all the cool drugs all my friends have been doing out there, I thought, oh, Sarah.
Speaker: You really fucking blew this, didn't you?
Speaker: Could've been doing way more cool shit out there.
Speaker: And when I say out there, what I really mean is locked in my apartment, on the floor, crying, watching old episodes of Jersey Shore at the end of it all.
Speaker: But saying out there does make it sound really cool and exciting.
Speaker: I forgot my lines, guys.
Speaker: My recovery friends were like, hey, let's go see a cocaine bear in the theaters.
Speaker: It'll be so much fun, because that's what we did.
Speaker: I thought, oh man, I suck.
Speaker: Can't you guys just come over and watch The Hangover with me instead?
Speaker: I'm sure I can get four addicts on this futon.
Speaker: I used to live between two liquor stores, so I'd hit one, I'd say, that's all I need for tonight, just a sensible amount of alcohol, go home, drink it immediately, and then I'd go to the other liquor store, because I didn't want the people at the first one to worry about me.
Speaker: And if that wasn't enough to take me out for the night, I'd call my dealer, DoorDash, and have more delivered.
Speaker: People said to me, but cocaine makes it so that you can drink more.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: I didn't exactly struggle with not being able to drink more.
Speaker: That's how I got this elite position and that's kind of why they gave me this microphone tonight.
Speaker: See, I'm Irish and I grew up in the prairies so I feel like I was kind of just bred for alcoholism.
Speaker: And if you pair my genetics with the household that I grew up in, there was really no way that I was walking out of that situation without being at least a little bit trashy.
Speaker: But I've been trying to clean up my act in recovery, so I quit smoking during the course of this hilaropy recovery project.
Speaker: Don't clap, guys.
Speaker: I started again.
Speaker: I started again.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: Not a big deal.
Speaker: Smoking makes me more creative, I decided.
Speaker: Smoking makes me better at writing.
Speaker: The same way that drinking made me better at dancing.
Speaker: And Molly made me better at feeling like I shit my pants at music festivals.
Speaker: I see that a few of you relate.
Speaker: I'm blanking.
Speaker: I'm sorry guys.
Speaker: I'm blanking.
Speaker: You're awesome.
Speaker: You're fucking awesome.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Here we go.
Speaker: So during the pandemic, I was feeling like a miserable bag of shit.
Speaker: So I moved to a nicer apartment near Whole Foods to make it all better.
Speaker: Do you guys know that there's a liquor store in Whole Foods?
Speaker: It's organic.
Speaker: And they have vegan wine.
Speaker: And that's important to me because I'm a raging fucking alcoholic.
Speaker: But now that I'm sober, it's become kind of crazy to me just how socially acceptable and readily available alcohol is.
Speaker: It's just everywhere in society and nobody really talks about it.
Speaker: I'm going to talk about it a little bit and I hope that's okay.
Speaker: If not, you might be at the wrong show, but... Alcohol is ethanol and that is a poison.
Speaker: It's one of the only two drugs you can die detoxing off of.
Speaker: I think it claims more lives annually than like all the other drugs combined.
Speaker: And if you talk to any drug counselor, they'll tell you this is a class A substance.
Speaker: This stuff is highly dangerous.
Speaker: And yet it's sold absolutely everywhere.
Speaker: And it got me thinking, what would happen if all the drugs were this socially acceptable and readily available?
Speaker: Why does alcohol get the golden ticket to just legally fuck us all?
Speaker: Crack is vegan, right?
Speaker: You don't see a vegan crack den in Whole Foods.
Speaker: It's not fair.
Speaker: Imagine, instead of beer and a burger, it was Benzos and a burger for 10 bucks, all down Granville Street.
Speaker: Eat your burger first though.
Speaker: Hey, guess what time it is everyone?
Speaker: It's dime bag o'clock.
Speaker: Oh cute, we should make little shirts that say that.
Speaker: Hey, grab your purse and let's go.
Speaker: We don't wanna miss heroin hour in Yaletown.
Speaker: Wear your lounge wear.
Speaker: The truth is, I don't care what you did out there.
Speaker: It doesn't matter.
Speaker: We're all the same.
Speaker: You know, it doesn't matter what you did, if you're in a trailer, if you're in your mom's basement, if you're in a penthouse suite, if you're locked in your apartment on the floor like I was, you know.
Speaker: It doesn't matter what had you.
Speaker: I'm just so glad that you're here and that it's let you go.
Speaker: And if something still has you in its grips, then stick with us and stay the course because it does get better on the other side.
Speaker: You can walk this earth a free and sober person and be really happy about it, you know?
Speaker: When I came into recovery, I just wanted to know how to stop drinking.
Speaker: Like, how do I stop doing this to myself?
Speaker: You know, because I was in a lot of pain and...
Speaker: Not only did I figure out how to do that, but what I came away with and what I continue to come away with is these amazing friendships and relationships with people that I wouldn't have otherwise met if I hadn't reached out for help.
Speaker: Sometimes it's overwhelming and I feel like, oh my God, I don't deserve this.
Speaker: What did I ever do to deserve this?
Speaker: And
Speaker: You know, I've had a lot of loss even in recovery.
Speaker: I lost the person that I love the most, slowly and progressively, to the same disease that I have.
Speaker: But, you know, if you're here, it tells me that you want to heal and you want to live.
Speaker: And so just stick with it.
Speaker: Anyway, enough of this rah-rah recovery shit.
Speaker: It's great, though.
Speaker: I've got a couple other addictions I want to talk about just because I think they're kind of funny.
Speaker: They're love and food.
Speaker: I didn't know love, I didn't even know that could be a thing until I came into recovery.
Speaker: And then I heard some stories and I thought, oh, that explains a lot.
Speaker: Well, fuck me.
Speaker: But don't.
Speaker: Because one, the other, or both of us will go completely insane.
Speaker: And I still have absolutely no idea why that is.
Speaker: And lastly, food.
Speaker: I've always had a really complicated relationship with food.
Speaker: I'm not one of those people where I'm like, oh, I'm sad, so I got so skinny.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: When I'm sad, I get fat.
Speaker: Okay?
Speaker: So I'm a little bit sad right now, but there's definitely been times in my life where I've been much sadder than this.
Speaker: And there's been some times that have been a little bit less sad, but I'm in a support group for that now too.
Speaker: It never ends, guys.
Speaker: Recovery never ends.
Speaker: Okay?
Speaker: But it's wonderful.
Speaker: And it's all about body positivity and self-love and just healing the insanity of the mind because I think a lot of, I know a lot of people struggle with this.
Speaker: You know, it's either binging or restricting and it just never feels good, right?
Speaker: And really, truly, when I look around the room, I just feel like all humans are uniquely beautiful.
Speaker: And that's great and everything, but I'd still like to lose like 30 pounds.
Speaker: But safely.
Speaker: So it's all about the slow burn now.
Speaker: Soon as I lose 30 pounds, gradually, over the course of a year, in a safe and effective way, by way of a spiritual solution, it's over for you bitches.
Speaker: Wow, Sarah.
Speaker: Oh my God, that was so good.
Speaker: So freaking good.
Speaker: Sarah, you are a titan of writing and performing.
Speaker: I just love your message, your strength, your hope.
Speaker: And yeah, let's just jump into it.
Speaker: There was so much there.
Speaker: I actually, I'm going to dissect Sarah the way I dissect a magazine.
Speaker: I always read it back to front, right?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It's a weird thing, but lots of people do it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I just had to
Speaker: But the reason that I'm saying that is because at the end, I really felt chills.
Speaker: Like she was talking about healing the insanity of the mind and just the, there was a part where she said, hey, if you're, I don't care where you've been or what you've done.
Speaker: I'm just glad you're here now.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And still, I just got chills again because actually I don't, that message is so beautiful no matter where you are, what you're doing.
Speaker: You're in a family gathering at Christmas.
Speaker: Hey,
Speaker: It's like you leave your preconceived notions at the door.
Speaker: I don't care what you've done, where you've been, you're here now.
Speaker: And she said, if you are here, then you want to heal.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I affirm this.
Speaker: I affirm this right now.
Speaker: To you, the listener, if you are here now, you are here because you want to heal.
Speaker: And there's a message for you.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Yeah, it was really beautiful.
Speaker: I mean, she's so funny and I loved it when she sort of brought the humor back like, okay, enough about this recovery crap.
Speaker: But there was that moment where I was like frozen in time and I was so with her where I was like, yes, what a beautiful message of...
Speaker: hope.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And gratitude.
Speaker: Cause I, I know so many people that are out there suffering right now and they just can't stay stopped or they don't, you know, they don't know is recovery for them.
Speaker: And I thought, wow, to hear that message, it's so, it is one really of hope.
Speaker: So it was beautiful.
Speaker: Thank you, Sarah, for kind of bringing it to that real space for a moment, like really authentic and
Speaker: And then throughout all her humor, like even the no part, right?
Speaker: I learned a new word.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: How great is that?
Speaker: Like someone in recovery told me no is a complete sentence.
Speaker: You never have to justify yourself to people.
Speaker: I really like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And the examples that she gave were really funny, really random.
Speaker: I liked it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And the people pleasing.
Speaker: There's no room for people pleasing in recovery.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because people pleasing by its very nature is putting yourself second, putting yourself underneath other people and your perception of what they need and want, isn't it?
Speaker: Because it's not even necessarily the truth.
Speaker: And what I found out from doing my own personal growth and development and recovery is that when I honor my own yeses and my noes and I honor what I need, I
Speaker: to fill my own cup, it actually benefits everyone else because my cup runneth over.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And I am bountiful.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Don't should all over yourself.
Speaker: Don't should all over yourself.
Speaker: It's a right mess.
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: I've been in, we've all been there, you know, whether it's family dynamics or at a corporate event or something.
Speaker: And if you just sit and watch,
Speaker: you'll see dynamics play out and you can always, I can always peg the people pleasers because I'm hoping they'll come over and please me.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like, Oh, you, are you looking for someone to serve?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm open.
Speaker: You play them like a fiddle, don't you?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: 100% you know I do.
Speaker: I can clock those people a mile away.
Speaker: Here comes someone and they need someone to serve.
Speaker: Please.
Speaker: Please.
Speaker: They need to please me.
Speaker: You looking for someone to please?
Speaker: I'm available for some pleasing.
Speaker: funniest thing to watch though is when someone is in that state, right.
Speaker: And they don't realize they're doing it and they're looking to take care of someone when they're trying to take care of someone who's doesn't want taking care of, right.
Speaker: You know what I'm talking about, right.
Speaker: Can I get that for you?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: I'm good.
Speaker: I'm good.
Speaker: No, I don't need another cushion.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's that whole dynamic.
Speaker: And parents do it.
Speaker: I do it to my kids all the time where I'm like disgusted with myself after like I've done it.
Speaker: I've fallen back into trying to parent a kid who doesn't want parenting.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Like, oh, it's cold out.
Speaker: Do you need a jacket?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: But it's like this natural thing that kicks in.
Speaker: And then I just go, what am I even saying?
Speaker: What I'm thinking is my parents never did that to me.
Speaker: I'm just thinking.
Speaker: I saw your eyes and you're like.
Speaker: I was like, you're like, you know, parents do.
Speaker: And I was like, no.
Speaker: You're like, no, I don't know that.
Speaker: I was neglected.
Speaker: I don't really know.
Speaker: I say that with the kindest possible heart, mother, if you're listening to this, which you probably aren't because you're neglecting me still.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Your parents were just really good at letting go.
Speaker: Hey, I didn't mean to come across as a poor me there, as a sort of victim.
Speaker: But mother, if you're listening, please, please notice me.
Speaker: Listen to this podcast.
Speaker: It's a cry for help.
Speaker: Please.
Speaker: Please.
Speaker: I'm 43 years old and hoping I'll still be mothered.
Speaker: There's still a chance to be mothered one day.
Speaker: What was the thing that Sarah said when she said something like, no, I won't help.
Speaker: What did she say?
Speaker: It was like a 47 year old fully capable adult human.
Speaker: No, I won't help you.
Speaker: No, I won't help you do that thing you should be able to do.
Speaker: Sort your life out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's funny, isn't it?
Speaker: I love what she said at the beginning.
Speaker: She said, I'm 24 months old.
Speaker: And if you're kind of not sure what she means by that, we have this idea, or there is this theory that when you start using drugs and you're in addiction or whatever it is, alcohol, whatever, you kind of cease to develop emotionally from that point, emotionally and spiritually, you cease to develop.
Speaker: So then when you get into recovery, you're
Speaker: It's like the start of a brand new life.
Speaker: I mean, in Christian terms, it could be seen as being born again.
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: Born again in life anew.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So you have to relearn how to do life.
Speaker: And she said she's 24 months old.
Speaker: That's really young, isn't it?
Speaker: And I mean, I remember being 24 months old and going off to university.
Speaker: I mean, what a thing to do when you're only two.
Speaker: I thought you literally meant I remember being 24 months old as a baby.
Speaker: No, not as a baby.
Speaker: And I'm like, oh, you're one of them.
Speaker: No, I'm not one of them.
Speaker: I can remember coming down the birth canal.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I saw the light.
Speaker: Yes, I saw the light, but after some painful pushing.
Speaker: Yeah, but there's also, so I've heard it.
Speaker: Ouch, my cranium.
Speaker: That was a pinch.
Speaker: Sorry, go on.
Speaker: What are you saying?
Speaker: But there's, I've heard people say it the way Sarah did, where it's like, oh, I'm 24 months.
Speaker: But I've also heard people add it to where they got frozen in time.
Speaker: So for instance, I started drinking at 13.
Speaker: So when I was two years sober, I was like, oh, now I'm...
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: I had to add that on my fingers.
Speaker: Now I'm 15 years old.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And I certainly acted like a 15 year old, like spoiled and defiant and just don't tell me what to do.
Speaker: So I've heard it kind of spun both ways.
Speaker: If you were neglected like me, then you're starting from scratch.
Speaker: I'm starting from scratch because I had no skills.
Speaker: No, I, I, I'm joking guys.
Speaker: I shouldn't joke about this kind of stuff.
Speaker: Um, it wasn't like that.
Speaker: I was, I was taken care of.
Speaker: as best as a single 80s addict could take care of me in a great way.
Speaker: I mean, the 80s were off kilter anyways.
Speaker: We always joke, I started hearing modern day 20-year-olds say gaslighting and psychologically unsafe, like they're just throwing it around.
Speaker: And I'm like, welcome to being parented in the 80s, period.
Speaker: Like that was parenting.
Speaker: So there was some really good aspects to it because it's kind of a pendulum has swung so far the other day that you've got this kind of helicopter parenting.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Where you've got just like, there's just so much involvement from this person, you know, this older person in these younger people's lives.
Speaker: And the older person doesn't necessarily know what's going on as much as they think they do.
Speaker: Yeah, there was definitely, I think, a lot of positive aspects about it.
Speaker: Like, for instance, my parents did not have to pay for my counseling.
Speaker: I got older and paid for it myself.
Speaker: That's a good one.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: Whereas we now, modern day parents, pay for our kids to go to therapy while they're still living under our roof.
Speaker: It's like, have we got this wrong?
Speaker: Like my sister said, Karina, I really don't think our parents talked properly.
Speaker: about what was going on in our lives as much as we talk about what's going on in our kids' lives and their emotional, you know, experience.
Speaker: So I think, you know, it's one of those things that needs to balance out a little bit.
Speaker: You know, it's like the pendulum swings so far one way and then it swings so far the other way and it kind of needs to balance out and come back to center.
Speaker: But really, I think the main point we're saying here is do your own work and hopefully that will lead to, you know,
Speaker: intuitively knowing how much or how little to be involved in any anyone else's life yeah you know stay in your own lane is what I'm saying
Speaker: Yeah, go do the, what is it?
Speaker: People pleasing was described to me as doing something for someone else that they could do for themselves.
Speaker: So I did, I really love that.
Speaker: I know we've been on it for a while because it's a great message.
Speaker: Like she talks about it at the beginning and just saying no.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And something that I realized, uh, is that sometimes like I want to do something, but I don't want to do it.
Speaker: Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Like, I like the idea of doing something, but the thought of actually executing that thing is, is exhausting.
Speaker: Like I don't have time for it.
Speaker: And if I did push through and do it, I'd be doing it maybe for the wrong motivation.
Speaker: So it's like checking your motivations.
Speaker: Like, why am I motivated to do this?
Speaker: Well, oh, it's this time of season and I should be doing it.
Speaker: It's like, that's the wrong motivation.
Speaker: But if it's coming from like that heart's desire of I'm doing this and I'm so excited, like everyone feels that.
Speaker: It's flowing through you.
Speaker: It flows.
Speaker: Like I've been to things you've done, right?
Speaker: Where it's like, it's flowing through.
Speaker: through you and from you, from your heart's desire.
Speaker: And there's a different vibe to that.
Speaker: It feels good, like as a guest to be in that environment and in that energy.
Speaker: And then I am sure we've all been at events or dinners where the person felt like they had to do it.
Speaker: it's tradition.
Speaker: It's something we always do.
Speaker: You know, you have to do it because of the time of year.
Speaker: And you can feel that there's like a, not always, but sometimes you can, I can feel an energy in the room, like a friction or just a something.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because everyone's tired and it's been an organized event and everyone's kind of gone through the motions of
Speaker: of Christmas and, and all of that stuff.
Speaker: And then there's like some family gathering on the 27th, the 28th, which is what I'll be doing when I go back to England.
Speaker: And we've all driven up to, I don't know, Auntie Simon's house.
Speaker: Auntie Simon.
Speaker: Well, there's a story back of that.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: And then everyone arrives and we kind of have to eat, but we get tired and then we've got to be there for five or six hours sitting around.
Speaker: And what do you do?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's difficult.
Speaker: It's challenging.
Speaker: But at the same time, we can shift into a place of kind of being, can't we?
Speaker: Where we kind of find...
Speaker: the fourth dimension in that experience.
Speaker: So that we don't live in our intellect for the whole five hours that we can drop into our heart.
Speaker: And just, I find for me personally, because everybody's at different stages of whatever they've been going through.
Speaker: And you know, there's always trauma happening in everyone's lives at some point.
Speaker: And some people in more of crisis mode than others.
Speaker: And some people struggle with their anxiety and their
Speaker: their mental health and they don't necessarily have a recovery and they're still drinking and all of that stuff.
Speaker: I mean, that's prevalent in my family, especially.
Speaker: And because I'm in recovery, because I have a spiritual practice and a spiritual program and a network of support, I can become a kind of safe space to land for anyone who kind of sits next to me or whatever.
Speaker: And I can just say, and what I find really a good thing to say when anyone's doing any of their justifying conversations, I just say, hey,
Speaker: It's really nice to see you.
Speaker: And I just smile because that cuts through all the noise.
Speaker: Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in somebody else's story.
Speaker: And I think just cut through the story and remind them of this moment.
Speaker: It's so nice to see you because I live in Canada.
Speaker: So I'm really out of the mix and I'm going back to England.
Speaker: I'm going in like four days and I'm going to be doing the whole Christmas mix.
Speaker: When you listen to this, we will have all survived Christmas and we'll be on the back end and we'll be in 2024 and that's beautiful.
Speaker: But, not but, and...
Speaker: You know, just, just to know that I can drop into my heart and I can hold space for the other.
Speaker: And I don't have to go down that, you know, I think, I think don't confirm somebody else's negative story.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Just, just, just cut through the noise by reminding them of this present moment, which is, it's really nice that you're here.
Speaker: And I love, I love it that I got to see you this Christmas.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And the other thing somebody told me a while ago is that, um,
Speaker: living from your heart's desire doesn't mean you have to say no to everything you don't feel in that moment, like doing like, this isn't my heart's desire.
Speaker: I'm not doing this.
Speaker: It just means that you can go through it consciously.
Speaker: Like you make a conscious choice to go, you know, maybe going to, I'll throw an example.
Speaker: Like somebody was saying, Oh, going to the arena, let's say to watch, watch a hockey game is like really not my thing.
Speaker: It's not my thing.
Speaker: But I'm consciously going to make that choice because I want to see my family member play.
Speaker: I love her and I really want to see her play.
Speaker: So I'm going to go with this in mind and even setting up certain boundaries for yourself.
Speaker: Like maybe the thing that bothers me is the noise.
Speaker: I'm going to wear noise canceling headphones and I'm going to sit by myself.
Speaker: And then that way I get to be in that environment where I want to see this person.
Speaker: And I love that because somebody said, instead of just saying no, no is like that.
Speaker: Do it.
Speaker: But there's also this idea to say yes and.
Speaker: Like, oh, you've invited me to this thing.
Speaker: Yes, and I can only come for an hour.
Speaker: Or yes, and I'm going to drive myself.
Speaker: Especially for people who are in early recovery.
Speaker: Yes, and going, what do I need to do to keep myself safe, right?
Speaker: And have an exit plan.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Especially.
Speaker: Have an exit plan.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Especially.
Speaker: Bring your own car.
Speaker: Bring your own car.
Speaker: Have somebody that you are going to tell them I might ring you.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: That was super helpful for me in the beginning.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm going to call you.
Speaker: And then you can nip outside and you can phone that grounded friend.
Speaker: And you can just feel straight away the energetic heart connection and you can ground yourself and then you can walk back in with a smile on your face and just be careful which drinks you're picking up.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Well, somebody said always bring.
Speaker: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker: Somebody told me bring a bottle of water.
Speaker: or like a sparkly drink that you like, and just have it in a big purse or in your car or something that you can grab.
Speaker: Because I've definitely been at events.
Speaker: This just happened actually recently on Salt Spring.
Speaker: I went to like an art gala, and they had no non-alcoholic drinks, which I mean, I don't really care.
Speaker: I'll just drink tap water.
Speaker: But that may have set me off back in the day.
Speaker: I might have been like, I mean, I don't think I would have picked up.
Speaker: But the point is like...
Speaker: There's this fragility in the beginning.
Speaker: There can be, there was for me like this, what Sarah said, healing the insanity of the mind.
Speaker: It took me a long time for me personally.
Speaker: It's not everyone's story, but for me to feel like my brain, the insanity of my mind actually healed took a long time.
Speaker: And so I could kind of spin.
Speaker: And if I was spinning out, it just wasn't, it was like an emotional bottom, which didn't feel good.
Speaker: And also is that a really good one to check in with, especially like with any kind of outing or anything that you do when you're not in your routine or comfort zone is the HALT, hungry, angry, tired, lonely.
Speaker: Am I any of those things?
Speaker: I've said it the wrong way around.
Speaker: Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I always added hot to mine.
Speaker: What was that?
Speaker: Well, if I got too hot, I'd like snap.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But you may have other things too.
Speaker: Like the, the halt is hungry, angry, lonely, tired, but you may have other things like this is a trigger for me.
Speaker: So I need to be aware of it.
Speaker: And when you start to feel those, yeah.
Speaker: Feel those like something's off.
Speaker: It's like, hold on a sec.
Speaker: Am I hungry?
Speaker: Am I angry?
Speaker: Am I lonely?
Speaker: Am I tired?
Speaker: Am I too hot?
Speaker: Am I, you know, do a, is it too loud in here?
Speaker: Because in early recovery, uh,
Speaker: It can feel like if, you know, like something happens, like we can suddenly get so overcome by emotional turbulence and waves of like insanity that we suddenly just tear the structures down in our mind about our whole life.
Speaker: No, no, my whole life is blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: And then when you just sit for a minute and go, wait a minute, I haven't eaten for six, seven hours.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: And then you go and have, you go and get a sandwich or something and suddenly you feel, Oh, I feel, I feel grounded back in my body and I'm not falling apart anymore.
Speaker: So it's just cause it's kind of getting used to a body that doesn't have alcohol and drugs in it anymore.
Speaker: It doesn't have the, um, the numbing.
Speaker: So we get very like, um, our feet can get taken out from underneath us.
Speaker: Like, you know, waves bashing at our let, like our lower body.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's a raw nerve.
Speaker: It's like if you took a tooth out and exposed the nerve.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's what it's like.
Speaker: It's like being a raw nerve that suddenly everything I was using to numb, not feel, is now gone.
Speaker: And it can feel very ungrounding.
Speaker: It can feel like the world is ending.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All of a sudden.
Speaker: And then you're like, oh my God, I think I would rather use drugs than have to feel this right now.
Speaker: I would rather die.
Speaker: I would rather die.
Speaker: Think of all the times I ran away.
Speaker: I'd rather die or use drugs because this is too much.
Speaker: But when you know that it's going to pass and that you can take care of it pretty easily, like sometimes just go and get in the bloody bath, put your pajamas on and get in front of the TV with a bowl of ice cream.
Speaker: Like for God's sake.
Speaker: I want to do that tonight.
Speaker: That sounds great.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, somebody also said to me, Karina, when you're feeling like this,
Speaker: Uh, just say, help me.
Speaker: Imagine it's to something you don't need to know what is greater than you in the universe.
Speaker: Just close your eyes and say, help me.
Speaker: And one of my favorite moments of this was I was on the bathroom floor curled up in a ball.
Speaker: Like I wanted to die.
Speaker: I was thinking about dying.
Speaker: I was thinking about hurting myself, running away, escaping.
Speaker: Like, how can I get out of myself?
Speaker: Cause it's too painful.
Speaker: And I remembered that someone told this to me.
Speaker: And so I just shot my eyes and I was like, help me, help me, help me, help me.
Speaker: And nothing like there wasn't like a light that struck out of the sky, nothing monumental happened.
Speaker: But it did for me because the next thought I had and keep in mind, I'd just been thinking about I need to end it.
Speaker: The next thought I had was, I wonder what I could make for dinner.
Speaker: Like a perfectly normal thought.
Speaker: I got this image of when you were lying on the ground and you said, help me, help me, help me.
Speaker: I've got this image of you opening your energy centers up to higher beings in the realm, higher light beings that care for you.
Speaker: And I felt that their light just came down and passed all of that detritus that you were experiencing, that kind of...
Speaker: crazy energy or chaotic kind of crackling electricity of energy around your body.
Speaker: And I felt that they just washed that down and settled you right back into the earth plane where you were then able to kind of constructively take another step to manage your physical form, which is what we're doing on earth.
Speaker: We're managing our physical form.
Speaker: And when we take care of the body,
Speaker: The mind is able to function better.
Speaker: The emotions are able to pass through easier.
Speaker: The spirit is able to come here and do its job.
Speaker: I mean, the soul is here to do its job, isn't it?
Speaker: And whatever your soul has decided it wants to express.
Speaker: Yes, exactly.
Speaker: So it's just, you know, we are really rocketing into the sort of seventh or eighth dimension with this.
Speaker: But you're right.
Speaker: It was like, oh, just what's for dinner?
Speaker: And then I started thinking about what's for dinner and what am I going to make?
Speaker: Which, hello, hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
Speaker: It's the H. Maybe I was just hungry.
Speaker: And going through hell of a raw nerve.
Speaker: But yeah, how glorious...
Speaker: How incredible is this life we get to lead?
Speaker: And whether you're in recovery from anything or not, I urge you to just take a moment, take a breath, and just call in the frequency of appreciation.
Speaker: And just going like, I call on the frequency of appreciation, will automatically set your mind to all the things you appreciate.
Speaker: Wait, you know you always give a... A challenge?
Speaker: A challenge.
Speaker: Issue this challenge.
Speaker: And I would like to issue this week's challenge.
Speaker: And that would be...
Speaker: to do this exercise of asking, help me, help me, help me, closing your eyes and asking an unknown universe, help me, help me, help me and see what comes forward.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And if you can jump onto our Instagram where you'll find Karina at the receiving end and myself, um, at enlighten up underscore, you're going to have to find it.
Speaker: We'll figure it out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Find it.
Speaker: It's called at enlighten up hilarity podcast.
Speaker: That's,
Speaker: Hey, if you find us, you can follow us.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And if you follow us, then please tell us how this Help Me, Help Me, Help Me showed up in your experience because we're really interested.
Speaker: Or you can go to the website Hilarity and go to our podcast thing and send us an email.
Speaker: Old school.
Speaker: Old school.
Speaker: Or use a carrier pigeon and get it to find us.
Speaker: Or send a young boy on a white horse with a scroll.
Speaker: Either will work.
Speaker: Knight of Pentacles.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I think we've kind of exhausted our listener for this episode.
Speaker: Thank you so much for tuning in to Enlighten Up, a Hilarity podcast.
Speaker: We are so glad you're here.
Speaker: You are important.
Speaker: You matter.
Speaker: And we see you, but not physically.
Speaker: Because that with our third eye, with our third eye sees you.
Speaker: Yes, we see you with our third eye in our hearts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We see you.
Speaker: Dear listeners, we are a two-woman shop here, and this is a little labor of love.
Speaker: So anything you can do to show us some love, our love language is subscribing, sharing on social media, and coming to one of our many shows.
Speaker: And if you're feeling really adventurous, take a course.
Speaker: Don't be afraid of a good time.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We love you.
Speaker: We're out.
