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The Emotional Toll of Infidelity The Importance of Forgiveness
26 Plays3 months ago
In this episode of the Man Cave Podcast, Briceson Young, Izabel Vasquez, and Lysander Amado dive into the complexities of relationships, trust, and personal growth. The conversation begins with light-hearted banter about names and transitions into a deeper discussion about cheating, emotional connections, and the challenges of confronting infidelity. Izabel shares her personal experiences with a summer fling that turned complicated, leading to an investigation and a dramatic confrontation at the movies. The trio reflects on the lessons learned from their past relationships and the importance of setting boundaries and communication. In this conversation, the speakers delve into the complexities of modern relationships, discussing the expectations placed on partners, the importance of therapy, and the cultural perceptions surrounding mental health. They explore the dynamics of dating, the challenges of emotional attachment, and the reasons behind infidelity, emphasizing the need for open communication and self-awareness in relationships. In this conversation, the speakers delve into the complexities of love, relationships, and the challenges of infidelity. They discuss the emotional toll of loneliness, the effort required to maintain a relationship, and the nuances of dating after marriage. The conversation also touches on the importance of forgiveness, the balance between financial security and emotional commitment, and the struggles of trust in the face of infidelity. Ultimately, they explore the idea that while cheating may be a reality for some men, understanding and navigating these dynamics is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.
00:00Introduction and Name Game
02:59Summer Shenanigans and Cheating Confessions
05:57The Investigation: Uncovering the Truth
09:02Confrontation at the Movies
11:56Reflections on Relationships and Trust
14:59Personal Growth and Lessons Learned
23:25Exploring Relationship Dynamics
29:10The Importance of Therapy
33:39Cultural Perspectives on Therapy
42:13Navigating Modern Dating
45:39Understanding Cheating and Emotional Needs
46:38Navigating Love and Loneliness
47:50The Challenges of Relationships
48:49Dating After Marriage: The Clearance Rack
50:10The Complexity of Ex-Relationships
52:10Understanding Cheating in Relationships
01:00:36The Importance of Forgiveness
01:02:24Financial Security vs. Emotional Commitment
01:06:35The Struggles of Infidelity and Trust
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Yeah, what's up? What's up? Welcome back to the Man Cave podcast. The best Man Cave, I mean the best podcast on the motherfucking net.
00:00:08
Speaker
ah Lewis will be out of the building tonight, but we got two repeat offenders on the show tonight. We got Isabelle, Bette Skiz, I think. Yeah. And we got La Zonda. Slice. Hey, bruh. How do you pronounce that first name? Lysander, but you could call me Amaro. Lysander? Yeah.
00:00:32
Speaker
like sander like like sandpaper like sander i feel like lie l y sander yeah i just want to make sure i say it right that's all so lie sander i'll call you a motto though i' fuck that yous call your modelto you don't like that name huh lie it yeah we Every day, like, there's always somebody making a new name. Like, I was like, yesterday I said, if I die, I want like a list of all the names I've been called all my life. Like, it's going to be crazy. they Every day, Sandel, Lysol, something. It's always going to be. Lysol.
Personal Stories and Drinking
00:01:12
Speaker
Well, I get called Brissison, and I don't know why people would fuck that up. Well, if it's not spelled, I'm so fine.
00:01:21
Speaker
What? Brace is fun. Do you really, you really hear see Brice-a-son? I ain't, nah, that's ridiculous. I know it's built more differently than most people spell the word, the name Brice-a-son, but I think it's new, unique. It's a unique individual like myself. But, uh, um, what was I gonna say to you? Uh, you drinking now? Well, me? Me? No, the one in the middle, Isabel. Oh.
00:01:50
Speaker
Um, something what happened, what happened? Cause last time, my last, last appointment I had, you said you are no longer drinking. So and like the last time I talked to you to update, you said, yeah, you still don't drink. Were you lying at that time? Or were you still in the truth? I was not lying. No, I stopped for a while and then summer.
00:02:16
Speaker
Basically, it's what it was. Summer happened, okay. Summer. You're Mexican and summer happened, got it. So, that ain't go far at all. Yeah, best excuse, I guess. All right,
Cheating Experiences and Confrontations
00:02:27
Speaker
all right.
00:02:27
Speaker
Well, you say you got a little cheat in scandal situation. Want to talk about, and I think who better to let you know about some fuck in shit than a model over here. Cause he knows about that kind of shit. He gonna let you know what's real. Listen, I listen but out there. I'm not picking those sides. I don't know what happened, but.
00:02:54
Speaker
Sometimes I have to side with the guy because I'm a man, but yeah That's a man ago cheat anyway, so I mean, yeah everybody does it Not matter if you're a male or a female that's what I mean like Well, have my, uh, have my reasonings. Well, we're not going to get into that. Let's go. Come on. I do want to get into that, but I'm going to let you go first as a bill. So shoot me your story. I think you told me a little bit about it, but let's get into that. All right. All right. So for, you know, HIPAA, I guess you could call it, change his name to Jay. You know, Jay, you know, Jay, I know Jay. Okay. I know Jay.
00:03:43
Speaker
You know, of him. I think you had actually seen her picture. I had posted on my Instagram story and you had asked if we had gotten back together. Are we talking about zoo animal or? yeah Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Zoo animal. Okay. Go ahead. Animal. Yeah. Yeah. But like, hence this is why this happened to your, you know, cause that's how it all started going out eating and drinking and stuff and in summer.
00:04:14
Speaker
So, you know, randomly just hits me up one day and we're talking about like, we should go out, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, cool. Yeah, whatever. As friends, you know, cause we have our little history of our on and offs. So eventually, you know, like you start springing up, like, uh, getting back together and this and that and I'm just kind of like, okay, yeah, sure. I guess whenever we'll take a day by day. Um,
00:04:42
Speaker
But then, you know, I realized I just pick up on it because I've been on both sides of the cheating, like I've cheated and I've been cheated on too. So I i pick up on things really great. Yeah, you got a real, uh, you got that man mentality. I do, unfortunately. You do, you do. Yeah. So long story short, he said a comment to me one day and I kind of picked up on that and I was like, you know, but I'm not going to make a video about it right now. Let me just observe. So months go by, you know, we weeks go by and months go by. Fast forward. He mentioned to me one day drunk about some girl that he used to mess around with when we were broken up at work. So I was like, cool. You obviously still work with her. Whatever. So then
00:05:38
Speaker
We recently went out to watch that Canelo fight, right? That was like, what, last month? Two months ago? Oh, no, no, I don't watch that. Whatever it was. Yeah, whenever it was. So he's showing me something on his phone, and the message pops up from... Let's let's change your name, too. branding Oh, my goodness. Let's change your name to Brittany, you know? You just never know her now. Let's change your name to Brittany. The name pops up, you know. Jay's fucking with Brittany. Jay's fucking with Brittany.
00:06:07
Speaker
The name pops up and he's just like quick to like swipe up on his phone. Again, I played dumb. I saw it. I'm a quick reader. Like I've seen the message, which is a whole bunch of those little kissy emojis. I'm like, whatever, I'm not going to make a big deal about it. and But eventually one day I was just bored and I was like, all right, so you used to work, you work with her. So I did some FBI investigation work. Um, and so I know where he works, went on that company's Facebook, found the supervisor.
00:06:36
Speaker
I found the supervisor's family, you know, just everything putting all the pieces together. I found out who that was. It was a 50-year-old lady. um
00:06:50
Speaker
no funny Not funny. not funny. I'm like, I i guess she has money. I don't know. I'm like, dude, I'm 32. You're 37. Oh, know me with a 50-year-old?
00:07:05
Speaker
probably
00:07:07
Speaker
So needless to say, um, during, you know, our little summer fling, he ended up logging into his email on my phone and then one day casually, you know, I kind of clicked on it casually. Just, you know, it was part of my FBI investigation. And he had mentioned to me that he was going to go hang out with some old friends of his on October 5th. So I was like, cool, dude, do you, I don't care. Like they all have a life.
00:07:36
Speaker
But then when I open up this email, I see the receipt for two tickets to go watch that new Joker movie that just came out. And I'm like, it was, I know because I showed up.
00:07:54
Speaker
ask I know it's crazy. I'm not thinking about it. Why did I even do that? There's too much energy. Too much. Too much. For real. Can we interject right now so we can just talk? Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. Listen, if you guys didn't set boundaries of what y'all were doing in the beginning, then if you see something on this phone, you can't say nothing. You guys didn't set boundaries when you guys got together. Did you guys say, we're together, you can't fucking do this, I can't do that?
Relationship Boundaries and Therapy Insights
00:08:25
Speaker
No, we said we were working on things to get back together. Oh, working, yeah. Well. That's just like, you know, you have breaks in your car. It's not working. You go to go change it. And like, now you got to find the right breaks. That's going to work on your car. I don't know if that's a good analogy, but you know what I'm talking about. That didn't sound like an analogy. Didn't work. you know but You know what I'm saying? You got to try it out. First of all, you guys got that. That's messy right there. That's one. um mut What's the other one? You're doing all that to go. Now, where is he?
00:08:58
Speaker
That's like, you could have went instead of what time of day was it? What, the movie? Yeah. 6.30. You could have went out what with somebody else that night to go out enjoy yourself, and given you guys, you were stressed out, and look what happened, right? No, I wasn't stressed. I actually generally wanted to watch the movie. Yeah, but- Which I had actually asked to go watch the movie. He was like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. There's too much energy. that's That's a lot of energy you just wasted by just doing that.
00:09:26
Speaker
Well, you genuinely wanted to go watch the movie at the same movie theater at the same time. Not at the same movie theater, not at the same time, but I did want to go watch the movie because I loved the first one. It was a really great movie. Okay, fuck the movie. Hey, fuck the movie. No, no, no. This is about the movie. I really wanted to watch it. So I asked him, can we go watch it? And he said no.
00:09:47
Speaker
So what's the situation where you was going to pop up on a during ah so on a Saturday or something you told me about? You briefly mentioned something to me. what what What went down with that shit? Nothing. He was just sitting there with her. At the theater? Mm-hmm. So you went to the theater you was at? Yeah, because i had I found out where exactly was going to be, what CT was going to be on.
00:10:10
Speaker
i pretty you felt this case yeah putes the seats in front of him as you That's too much energy and that's crazy. Why? That's just too much. That was just my way of confronting the situation. But yeah why? Go ahead, go ahead. My thing, okay, but what where's he at now?
00:10:33
Speaker
Still texting me that he loved me. But are you still texting in the back? No. When was the last time you slept with him? that I slept with him. Yeah. Have you slept with him recently? Define sleep.
00:10:46
Speaker
Just a little dangly and you like this. Like a month ago, maybe. Oh, you see that's a waste of energy. If you listen, listen right now, right? If You knew in your mind that no matter what you catch him doing, you're still gonna be what I'm doing. There's no point in even doing that. That was like, that's just too much. You should've just went, sat in front of him and watched the movie and then like, hey, hey, bye. Talk to you later. Keep it moving. You're not doing that. You're still gonna be there, right? No, the movie was just like last week. It doesn't, yeah, but you're still talking to him and you still... No. Yeah. So you ain't responding to his tics.
00:11:27
Speaker
He's not coming over to the house. You haven't seen him? No. Oh, okay. So he's a zoo boy, right? Yeah. Are you cutting them off? Yeah. I mean, he already blocked me off all the social media. So this is for the movie. You cutting them off because you got to cut them off. Not because you're choosing to. So like you cut your ass off. I'm telling you with that 50 year old woman for that money. I'm telling you.
00:11:56
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. If I'm out jamming my dick until 50 year old pussy, best believe I'm getting paid for it. All right. I agree. I'm getting paid for it. Probably. You showed me the picture of the woman too. I better be getting paid for it. It ain't.
00:12:17
Speaker
Yeah, I better be good i be you get some money out of this. I mean, PlayStation 5 Pro, parking gas tank full all the time. You know, let me borrow the car when you at work. I want all i want all the goods. I want all the fixings. I want cheese on my burger. You know, hook me up. 50 year old. But you wasted yeah you wasted your time, little mom. Well, no, because I did get to watch the movie.
00:12:43
Speaker
What are we talking about the movie for, bro? Because I did want to watch the movie. But you also wanted to confront him while he was on a date with another woman. and Yes, but I didn't say anything to him. He saw me. I saw him. I just winked at him, sat down. And then i you know that he knows that you're there because of him? No, well... To see the same movie at the same time at seats that will put you in his line of sight.
00:13:07
Speaker
Exactly. like guess that's my way that is so much extra work and But I mean, do you care about the guy? No. So why are you there? Not anymore. they No, I did. I did up until the point where I started noticing these little things. So you noticed those things, but then you still showed up to the movie. Did you care or did you not care that day? No. So why were you there?
00:13:37
Speaker
I told you it was just to confront the situation. But you didn't care. That was my way. but You're telling me you don't you didn't care though. So why were you at the movie? Why why even put that energy into it? If you find out that somebody you're trying to like get into a relationship with or have history with and they basically lie to you about where they're going to be at and are messing up with somebody else after they're saying, you know, um I want to make things work with you.
00:14:08
Speaker
You wouldn't say anything? No, man. You know what? but For me, I'm at the point in my life, I'm like, yo, it's okay. just You're just going to make me bring out the demon in me even more. like I'm going to be like future fucking 10, all right? yeah i'm at pete like You know, this is all about therapy. like Therapy made me like this, so it was just like, I'm just good with bad energy like that. like I'm not going to do that. Before the old me,
00:14:39
Speaker
I've been through some shit. I'm pulling up. What do I have? I'm so over that life. I don't even want to talk about it. like I'm good, but I get it. I understand. well We were all young one time. I ain't never pulled up. I ain't never cared to pull up. I can hack ah wish I was like you before.
00:14:59
Speaker
I can't let a woman get get that much get that much energy out of me. I can't. I just can't. ah I mean. Broke every next tell. Everything I ever had because of of that dumb shit. I'm good. like I won't even argue with you. Last time, check this out. Even like last time, I think I got it into like my expert. We almost went back and forth. I was like, you know what? You're right. I'm wrong.
00:15:23
Speaker
and yeah you That's the start of me changing. I was like, yo, what's the point of me arguing with you? You know, you're wrong, but whatever. It really is. It really is. You can shut down a lot of arguments like that. I do that with the wife still, with the wife now. You're like common. I like how you are. You're a silent killer. You look like. let's see But see, I never was. I know my ex-wife, I wasn't like that guy though.
00:15:51
Speaker
I really wasn't, but I mean, that was over. I was when I met her, but after years of her keep poking my fucking buttons, like you keep keep poking a bear, you're going to get bit. She just kept poking and poking and poking and poking. And then I started snapping. And then she's like, oh my God, you just talked to me any kind of way you want to. I'm like.
00:16:09
Speaker
You say this like I've done this from the beginning. This is like five years into it. I'm talking to you in the way I want to, because you've been talking to me any way you want to. You're de-masculizing me and I don't like it. I don't know if de-masculizing is a word, but you know what it's supposed to mean. I think it just became a word. I need it on a t-shirt now. Yeah. Demasculinity. Yeah. yeah But she demacu she was demasculining me and i and I didn't like it, bro. So when yeah I started talking up and she didn't like that, I felt like, now there were other things too. I didn't make it like that was the only
Infidelity, Marriage, and Personal Growth
00:16:40
Speaker
thing. Yes. I was out doing shit. I mean, all types of shit and cemeteries at my job, in my car.
00:16:50
Speaker
I mean I just I was being a bit reckless but I shouldn't say that out loud either because you know it did she only knows that I did the one thing the one thing the one thing that gave me the cloud I don't think I ever She never, I mean, because after we did the ah therapy and all that and got back together and tried to work on things, we never questioned each other about what we had done prior. We asked questions that we wanted to know and then we didn't bring any of it back up. so and If you find out that you're someone that you were talking to this with somebody else and then came back to you, it just, it's over. It's just, just.
00:17:32
Speaker
yeah I mean, I didn't think about it. Honestly, I was i was over it. I was cool with knowing, okay, some man fucked my wife in the car, in the backseat, whatever. Because ah she told me it wasn't a car. But i didn't but that's it. See, yo, I used to go crazy. like Literally, when I found out some shit, I was just like, what? like Immediately, my brain shifts to the left. I'm like, yo.
00:17:55
Speaker
um And then you start questioning yourself as a meme, like, yo, is it me? Like, do I have... I was even like, yo, am I even big enough? Like, stuff like that. You start thinking like that. I did that too. I didn't even think it has to do with that. I did that too. Sick. I'm just sick in the fucking... I was sick. Right now, I don't care. But you know women are emotional though. If they're attaching to a man, it's on an emotional level. It's got nothing to do with how their dick size, how nice their body and shit is. At that point in my life, I didn't really understand it because it was just a serious... To me, it was... Even though... How old were you?
00:18:31
Speaker
It's like in my, almost in my early, like 28, I think, 27, 28. Yeah, you should have known this shit. Bro, but he's got a... I was going, listen, my prime was my prime, right? Yeah. I love the life of like, I can literally, we could one day just talk about shit. You just be like, yo, what the fuck? But when you find out somebody you're with,
00:18:56
Speaker
even though you it's 90% your fault or why she left, you're not putting in you're not putting her feelings into account. So you're just like, you did this with this person, blah, blah, blah. In your mind, you're just like, yo, as a man, you're like, and another man that was just with my girl. So you start thinking about other shit. So like even like me, like I started changing how I was being around women, like how I was talking to women. I went from I'm shy, like, okay, yeah, talking, I turned it up. like I was like, fuck that. Doing crazy shit. And then, oh yeah, it was just you just turn it up a lot. That's what I said like before, I was crazy. Now I'm just like, like I'm totally opposite of that. Because I was just like, I can't do it no more. You know what I'm saying? but
00:19:47
Speaker
don't they say men don't really mature until like 35 anyway? forty yeah i you see I guess I mean, yeah, you you had it right. ah But like what you were saying, which is like wife and stuff like that. Like for me, I couldn't think like once I found out shit like that changed me like as a person as even how I had sex, it changed me. Like literally, I like I couldn't go into like a Like, for example, I couldn't go into like, yeah, talking, kissing, four, no, I was going in and just to kill it because in my head I'm like, oh, if somebody else fucks it, it's going to fuck up better. So I wasn't having sex. Oh my God. That's too sick. That was sick. It's just sick.
00:20:26
Speaker
i will say I think I got a little bit of that because I was afraid that did she fuck this guy because I wasn't fun to fuck. but we you see that But she did make it clear like, no, our sex has never been a problem. Our sex was never a problem, never been a problem. It was basically it was all because she had to get her look back. She don't hurt, she had to go cheat on me.
00:20:51
Speaker
And, but I did go through those feelings you had too. Like, am I big enough? Am I fucking i good enough? What did I do wrong? But motherfucker, what you did wrong is that you just weren't, you weren't a good husband overall. It's nothing that you did in the bedroom. The bedroom doesn't fix it. I mean, it's a big play on it because she did say she, she did tell me, I've only stayed with you this long because of the sex. You made it this far because of the sex.
00:21:18
Speaker
So, I mean, I gave myself one of these, but I'm like, that's really fucked up to say. and my is Like you said, women are emotional. So she just went and built like an emotional connection with somebody else. So that kind of hurts more than just because your sex is whack, you know? It's like, now I'm questioning my personality in the way that I'm being with you, you know? If you're in a marriage, you're supposed to be a hundred percent yourself, like comfortable with this person. yeah Like, am I a piece of shit person? like Are you? Be honest with yourself. Do you think you are? Me? Yeah. No, I don't think so. Do I look like I'm a piece of shit? I'm talking as far as, as a relationship, as a relationship partner, do you feel like you are a snatch, a catch, desirable? Well, I don't know. It's hard for me to trust.
00:22:13
Speaker
right now like for me to say that I've had like a a relationship like I can say like this is my boyfriend or like you know we're together it's been years maybe this one does this guy doesn't count because you know we never we didn't get that far to establish it but if he would introduce me to somebody then he'd yeah he'd be like oh yeah this is my lady right here blah blah blah yeah um as for me the way that I view things like if I were to be in a relationship with somebody it's me, like I had given my all, kind of like what I was envisioning with this dude, but if he wasn't going to meet me halfway, obviously I wasn't going to propose the things that I had in my head as to when it came to being actually married.
Marriage Dynamics and Relationship Expectations
00:22:56
Speaker
And when it came down to like, okay, he needs this, then I can help by doing this.
00:23:03
Speaker
Or if like you're saying you wanted to get a better job and okay, well then why don't you go to school for part time? I can hold this down. Like I've been paying my mortgage by myself these tasks. So it all comes down to like the way that I had things envisioned that weren't aligning with him. Do you feel like I saw this statement the other day and I want to try to remember it correctly. Um,
00:23:33
Speaker
What was it? It was about marriage. Uh, women. Okay. So women feeling like, God, I can't remember what the fuck it was. I'm really upset right now. Um, I'm not praying for it. It's a goddamn Jack and Coke over here, bro. That's what it is. God damn it. Drink some more. um I am. I can't think straight. Give me a shot. It's the, uh, women wanting to know, like women like waiting to do wifey shit because they don't want to do wifey shit too soon. Oh, what's that? Girlfriend's, um, salary or whatever it is. What?
00:24:25
Speaker
No, it's my daughter coming down after she was going to come down. to your What you mean, salary? What do you mean? So basically what I think what you're trying to say is that women don't want to do, like you said, wifey things, being just a girlfriend without a ring finger. Yeah, it's somewhere around there. Like you don't want to do wifey things without a ring, but you expect us to want to wife you while not showing us what you would be as a wife.
00:24:53
Speaker
It's that type of idea. i want to And when I heard it, I'm like, you know, that does make sense, but I can see the other side of the argument, but at the same time, how can you expect to find a husband or to find a legitimate guy, but you're not giving your all your wifey capabilities because you're waiting on him to do more or to show you this or that that you need to see.
00:25:24
Speaker
I mean, I just feel as it has to come down to where you are in the relationship and how you guys are kind of like on the same page of things. Like if you guys aren't married yet, but you guys are living together, like obviously you're going to be doing like you said, like you said, weighty things. But I mean, even when you're just starting out out, why shouldn't a woman behave like a wife from day one of meeting a guy?
00:25:50
Speaker
If you know you're looking for a life partner, why aren't you from the jump treating every man like a king? for Because honestly, you don't want that though, really, because then... I do. My sick mind, my sick mind was like, yo, so when you were with him, you would what were you doing? like How come you didn't do that with me? um I want to do that. You went snowboarding with him. I want to do that too. like All that stuff. like I don't know. I think you have to be selective of like how you feel. like As a woman, of who are you going to take care of of and who are you going to be king to? Yeah, you should. But in that argument, you should also not just be going out with any Tom Dicken area either. You should he's actually going out with the right part. And if you know you, we've already gotten past the pre-reqs.
00:26:41
Speaker
You know you want to date this guy exclusively, act like a wife today. Don't act like a wife tomorrow because we're judging you from the from the jump. Yeah, once you get to that stage, I guess. But if you're just getting to know somebody, it's kind of like weird, no? I'm saying that stage. I know we just met, but like, here, I made you lunch. But I'm saying that stage should start immediately. mean um I'm arguing that stage should start a lot sooner than some women think.
00:27:11
Speaker
Okay, I get it I kind of get it what you're saying though Yeah, cuz I mean my my wife now I I say a week into it She was already trying to cook me a meal and I appreciate she was going out of her way going extra miles a week into us talking to each other That's dope and I felt like damn. She really wants me She's trying to show me already that she can be a good woman. I can be your woman. I can be your wife. I Why don't more women do that? Because I think you would find better men or, and I think you'd also be able to cross a lot more men out sooner if you did that. Cause then you'd already know what type of wave they're on. If they're trying to shut that, shut that type of behavior down or they don't like it or like, are you going on too strong? Then you already know, okay, this man isn't for the longterm commitment. I'm out. What do you, what do you say to that?
00:28:10
Speaker
I kinda agree. I agree to that, yeah. God damn it, Bryson. Woo, I'm good. I need to start, I need to just get my therapy license or something, I don't know. Yeah, you should, dude. I tell my therapist all the time, I was like, yo, you take $15 from me every fucking two days, that's crazy. How much? I pay $15. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah, $15 ain't bad. i mean When my ex-wife was going to therapy, it was like $85 a session.
00:28:39
Speaker
Man yeah my insurance pays the rest but fuck dan that's a lot That shit was expensive. Hey, and then I don't mean my current wife who went to therapy and That shit was I think it's $25 a session or 30
00:28:53
Speaker
ah not bad I think it's always good to get some therapy. Whether you're in a bad relationship or not. Definitely if you're in a bad relationship, get some therapy. But even if you're in a good relationship, just help you know how to love each other even better. It's good to get that therapy. Yeah, my therapist is like, he he's cool as shit. he But right now he's talking about like, trying to be faithful and shit. I was like, bro.
00:29:20
Speaker
You helped me a lot, but like, Jesus, can can we just wait some time to go on another subject? Like, I don't want to fuck it one step at a time. I just learned how to walk away from people, and now you want me to fuck it. I get it. But geez. Every session, you start so like, hey, how about I'm like, yo, bro. No, I'll do what I want.
00:29:46
Speaker
he your me to bug out bro that's how it it sounds well you laugh at row i talked to you about you just talk on this one did you try and change
00:29:58
Speaker
chilling im like yeah tomorrow i'm gonna fucking getting have fun oh man I get that I do get that part but I think about that a lot, that death shit. I think that shit gives me anxiety now. I think about death too much. No, i that's the thing. With me, it's just like you know therapy, like you were saying, like it's really like good. It helps me. like I've learned a lot, but at the same time, like bro, let's just let's just piggyback on this stuff right now. i'm like
00:30:30
Speaker
That's too much. like you know I think the most and more people need to do therapy especially more black people think black people we don't like to do therapy no because it's it's like the masculine or something like that it's like de masculineation they give there you go there you go look at me creating fucking vocabulary over here bruh I think it's good for you man I mean
00:31:03
Speaker
I tell my wife today still, even though when we have discussions and arguments, like everything, all these parts of me that are so much better with you, I learned it in therapy and through the mistakes I made with my ex-wife. I'm telling you, therapy is great. Yeah, therapy is That's true. and i like A lot of people need to use it, but like some men, but it's you black men, but men just in general don't like it.
00:31:28
Speaker
mean I had a therapist when I first tried to do therapy a long time ago, a long, long time ago. One, the lady was fucking pregnant, so she was emotional. The other one cried in front of me. I'm like,
Media Influence on Relationships
00:31:40
Speaker
okay. So they were the ones venting to you and- I'm like- You were their therapist. I'm really looking at this lady you're like, whoa. I was like, I was like, this is just like me going to my nutritionist. like You're just telling me- Eat more protein. You'll be good.
00:31:58
Speaker
ah but we don't they are talking and like It was me talking, them crying. of Why? that's That's the opposite. Why is your therapist crying? And you're talking. Yo, I don't even know. so one The one that was pregnant was crying, like like like crying. I just have to stop. I'm like, hold up. I need people to surface of like why I'm here. She was crying when you started telling her why I'm in there. Oh my gosh.
00:32:25
Speaker
I try to see like yo and then thing that used to get me upset is like when they used to say Do you want to kill yourself? I'm like, I'm about to if you just want I do I hate that question. Like no, I don't think you guys care about like a I'm too fucking much of a pussy to kill myself goddamn Not killing myself. But this guy, right? So how I got into therapy now is because my sister said it. So I was like, you know what, let me just go. Let me just do it, right? So I go, the like I'm looking at like, there's so many, after COVID, everybody went to therapy, I guess, right? It was like a big thing. So I'm like trying to find somebody and I told like my review records and someone, yo, if he has to be a black guy, and then, um yeah, you have to be a black guy, because I was like, he's going to understand my culture better.
00:33:17
Speaker
Because the last two people were were white women. i'm like My sister was like, yo, you need somebody it like that could identify your culture and stuff like that. I was like, yeah, you're right. Found him. First thing I asked him, I was like, yo, when you're leaving? He was like, what are you talking about? I was like, yo. And I told him a story. Every time I try to get a therapist date, it's like a month and then they leave. like Both women didn't even last a month with me. Damn.
00:33:40
Speaker
yeah so So mine was a white Portuguese guy for my ex-marriage. Yeah, white Portuguese guy. um And he was very good. and ah And not to say anything bad on my current marriage or nothing, I love my wife and I'm glad we're together.
00:34:00
Speaker
but I do believe that if we continue going to see that therapist and not stopped after four visits, we probably still would, we would have worked out. I think, I think everything would have been fine. But the fact that we didn't continue going, and I really thought it was helpful. I was kind of sad that we couldn't go anymore. Cause I was like, well, that shit was helping bro. Like that's just like medication. Like you needed every, you needed once every seven days or you start losing focus and start losing track over.
00:34:30
Speaker
where you're headed towards with this person. And yo, that's exactly what happened. Lost track of it. Now I'm back up front playing a video game every day after work and she's in the back watching fucking Chinese soap operas on Netflix and coming home talking about how she has a headache. what Yo, what's up with her honey soap operas? she I'm telling you, she was addicted to that shit. Came home, watched that shit. I got a headache. I don't really want to talk, but you got enough energy to go back there, sit on your phone all night and watch Chinese and chinese Netflix soap operas.
00:35:04
Speaker
I don't know, I don't watch that shit. I watch Love is Mine. um my I'm gonna be watching that too because that's a lot of fucking, that's a lot of fucking shit I can talk about on this show. Yeah, it really is. Imagine? Huh? Imagine if you got on that show. Yo, I thought you were gonna apply.
00:35:21
Speaker
Yeah, I was thinking about it and I was like, you know what? I'm good. Fuck that. You know what's crazy? It's like, you know one thing I was like, I never want to be a celebrity or even famous because like I love that. like Everybody says like, yo, you should... you know I love to be on TV. I love to do crazy stuff like that. But then again, I'm like, yo, if I was to get famous, like even in Inkling Famous,
00:35:47
Speaker
Everybody will find like, like, oh, he did this with this person. Like, you're going to go after the people I dated. at yes to it think i Half the ones I don't even want to talk about. It was like late night shit. Like, hell no. I got some. ah Man, I got some. I'll be like, there's not a plea. Like, I don't even want to keep that. I'm straight. Like, look at what they do into everybody's relationship. JLo, forget about it. But like, come on.
00:36:14
Speaker
man you got that personality for it though bro you coulda you coulda went on that show and never had to work a day in your life again yeah and then um fucking people like you was with her you did this i'm like oh
00:36:29
Speaker
Bro, I've done things I don't even want to talk about. You could have built your life off that shit. And I was in the army? Come on, bro. Think about before shit that didn't... Yeah, I'm straight. You know what? Fuck that, man. You would have been the man on that shit, though. Especially with these fucking cornballs. I've only watched one episode so far. With these fucking cornballs, bro, you would have stood the fuck out. I appreciate it. What season? Season did you watch? I'm on season seven. I mean, where you at? You're the newest one. Were you behind?
00:36:59
Speaker
No, I'm pretty much caught up right now. I started watching Love is Blind Habibi. What the fuck? Bro, my wife was watching Love is Blind in some other language too. UK. She's like, you don't want to watch Love is Blind UK? I'm like, no, it's not American. I don't want to watch this shit. It ain't the same. I watched the Mexico edition. That one was pretty good. and i You can do that though. You speak Spanish. yeah I can't. like I got to watch.
00:37:26
Speaker
Like he could probably watch Brazil, right? I mean, I thought there was only one like love is fun. Like, no, it's some branch like a motherfucker. They got, they got Iraq. They got the, yep. The hubby. UK. UK. Brazil. Yep. I might watch Brazil. Obvious reasons.
00:37:47
Speaker
think Obvious reasons. might watch Brazil, bro. They fucking fight. They fight over there.
00:37:57
Speaker
So back to this guy, though, what's up with the with the other guy, the guy I know, the one I know, the one I see. What's going on with it? Oh, the the but can I can I say no? No, I don't think so. But the one that you know about. Don't nobody listen to this podcast. it' good funny good evening I can't. No, I don't. Just tell us. I love with John Doe's. I'm like that.
00:38:26
Speaker
Um, but you know me, I go there every every day. you The one that you, the where you commute to every day? Yeah. Yeah. No, nothing. I haven't seen him in a while. No, I thought you, I thought that has something to do with the ah Saturday thing. He wasn't originally going to go with me. Oh, that's what it was. Okay. look like that that's how you should I did. I did. With some kid I went to high school with. Yeah, it was a big story.
00:38:56
Speaker
Nah, nah, I told him what it was and he was just like, oh, you're crazy. Yeah, I'm done with you. And I was like, all right, bet. You should have brought homeboy because homeboy like six feet, six foot three. He's like, hot and he would have looked like Jungle Bowl wouldn't have known what the fuck to do. Well, the kid that I went with, he was he's like six to one, I think. Also, this guy is hit, though. I was kind of scared for my life a little bit. like And you had I was rethinking, like, what am I doing right now? but So he was cool.
00:39:26
Speaker
I remember you messaged me too. You had me as an option. What the? I don't look like you as an option. I don't look like no threat. You know, if you mentioned, no, but you messaged me. So, you know, you was kind of thinking like, I mean, Bryce, what's up? Can you do it for me? and You know, I don't like no motherfucking threat. I just look good. I mean, you know, visually I'm a threat, but I don't, I ain't even physical. When you, when you walk up in like that, I was all serious. Yeah. No, you're kind of scary. Not gonna lie.
00:39:56
Speaker
Why people say that? all I don't like You know, email when I walk around the unit, sometimes a motto, you know, the I've had people tell me I look like I know what's going on. I got that look on my face. And then I said, I look like I'm in charge and they accidentally called me sergeant.
00:40:15
Speaker
really
00:40:20
Speaker
I'm just, as I'm lost like a motherfucker. I don't know what the fuck going on. Oh, hey, whatever though. But I would have wore a very tight shirt though, I guess. Make it, make it all pop out. I got
Awareness and Honesty in Relationships
00:40:33
Speaker
them shoulders. So, I mean, I can get jungle boy though. any He He little. he used to He couldn't say anything. He was there with another girl. How much you weigh? He weighs 180. What are you fat?
00:40:50
Speaker
Who, me? Him. Oh, him? Yeah, you guys on a chunkie oh he All he does is go out drinking and stuff now. Oh, yeah, so so he 180. He 180 body fat. Yeah. I'm 140 per muscle. Okay, okay. yes yeah I got you, I got you. Hey, shit. I ain't worried about nothing. I'm good.
00:41:15
Speaker
and But um that movie sucked. It did suck. I was very disappointed with a joke or two yeah it. It's a musical. Yep. So if you ah you like singing and dancing and shit, like if you would enjoy the Chris Brown concert, you would probably enjoy that. Such a related guy on YouTube. I mean, Lady Gaga look good though. Oh no, I'm probably thinking about the other bitch, not Lady Gaga. but ah so marco what are it name No, there's another white girl Margot Robbie some goddamn fine boy, I'll use a fucking battle water to make a fucking bad, but she's bad. She's bad. But uh
00:42:08
Speaker
What else you got going on, though, Isabel? How are we going to fix this relationship shit that you keep going through? Listen, Isabel, you got to go out and start dating and just, you know, think, see what you like. don tell Don't tell a guy you're looking, just say you're dating, trying to find somebody for you. That's it. Be happy.
00:42:29
Speaker
um it's over I'm not really like interested in going out dating. So what do you want? Because when I talk to you, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop that shit. Because it's like, I feel like you tell me that shit every fucking time. And then it's like, oh, I'm talking to this guy now. Oh, I'm talking to him now. I'm back with this guy. Like, what do you, like, be real with yourself. Like, if you want somebody, that's fine. I always tell women that beyond that shit, oh, I don't want no guy shit. Like, cut that shit out. You're only saying it because ain't shit working out for you.
00:43:03
Speaker
If shit was working out, you wouldn't be like that. So just just be real. Just say for real, you you do want somebody and you want it to work out. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. Like when girls used to ask me, like like, what do you want? Like, do you want a relationship? Like, what do you want to do? I'm like, honestly, like, I just like to have to get fucked. Like, have a good time. Foot jobs. That was like the, like, I just used to just like,
00:43:33
Speaker
Have a good time, you know what I'm saying? So you got to like be real with, like you said, like what do you want? If that's what you want to just get pounded, then just say it. like I want to get pounded. Yes. like I just want ah somebody to talk to and then say that, then you know just talk to guys. You got to be real with what you want. For real though. ah Damn, I'm trying to. I mean, I guess you could say that. Yeah, just somebody to talk to, but maybe go out to eat here and there, like a situationship kind of thing. But then now, cause then it's. You're going to catch feelings. You're a woman, you catch feelings. You're calling up to why you know to the movie theaters. That's catching feelings. Yeah. that that Exactly.
00:44:22
Speaker
What? I didn't act crazy. I didn't say anything. No, I didn't say anything. But you went, though. You went. You went. Yeah, just so that he could see that I knew about it. But what does that do for you? What does that really do for you? Yeah, that's true. Nothing, really. I mean, like I said, I got to watch the movie. but wasted And you wasted your fucking time looking at a motherfucker with an old ass bitch. No, he was behind me.
00:44:49
Speaker
Oh boy. Oh, he left before the movie ended too, by the way, so. but So why would you do that? I'm so, I'm so, um'm I'm so fascinated by the female brain. and I don't understand y'all. Like, why do you? Well, kind of the point was kind of mostly because the guy that I was supposed to go with, you know, like you said it yourself, he's like, you know, a tall and hot and It looks physical. No, I ain't hot. I nigga hot. I ain't say all that shit. I'm gonna say that. Yeah, so it was kind of like, all right, if you're you're you're going to cheat on somebody, you know, whatever, because obviously they're they have something better than the current person that you have.
00:45:29
Speaker
and i'm just like all right no that's not what yeah know Sometimes yeah sometimes yeah no yeah time you just Sometimes you just want to get a nut from somebody else honestly like um Yeah, I did it because I wanted it. I wanted a dick if I wanted my dick in a mouth yeah My ex wife was not putting my dick in her mouth and I wanted my dick inside of my mouth Point blank it had nothing to do with love attraction how fine you were even if you were a bad bitch I just wanted your dick One of my dick in your mouth. I didn't care if I fucked you. um I want my dick in your mouth. Period. That's real shit. That's what it was. But you women can't cheat for that reason. Y'all don't know how to. But men do. Men cheat to get a nut off. Women don't cheat to get the fucking dick off. I'm like, ain't what you're doing it for. You're doing it out of attachment. You want to be loved. You do. Love is such a strong word.
00:46:27
Speaker
so you don't so you don't want to be loved. You're telling me you wouldn't enjoy waking up every day looking at an ugly motherfucker knowing that he loves you? No. That's what I'm saying, man. We all want love. It's all good. You know, sometimes, yeah, I do get lonely, and I'm just like, you know, I wish, or when something happens and I'm like, shit, I wish I guess somebody was there, you know, like to help me out or whatever. But on a day it's like it's a lot of work to be in a relationship to be in a marriage. Like I've already been there. and It is. me It really is. And i'm I'm four years in and I'm already tired of some of the arguments. But I wake up on a lot of days and know I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I'm happy. I love it. I enjoy it. Yeah, i I love the fuck out of my wife. She's a great woman.
00:47:21
Speaker
and Actually you cut this clip and post that so like you get ratings. cause That's good ah What's going on with you a motto man, I thought you were Thought you were settled down somewhat I am I'm a seven down king Okay, my life is not been right huh my life is in the spin right now Was there was that?
00:47:52
Speaker
slowly working it to be a better man, better father. know I have two now, so it's like, I'm working that situation out with my and mother, with my kids. I was going to say BM, that's something that's trashy, so I got to change it up. It does sound trashy. I got my ex-wife saved as baby mommy on my phone. um I'm slowly upgrading there. It was. Yes, they're right. And my ex-husband saved his child support on my phone.
00:48:19
Speaker
Yeah. See, I don't want none of that. Say what? I don't want to be none of that. None of that. Oh, I just want to... Oh. I like doing the family shit now, but... It's nice, bro. Some of my friends are getting divorced now, so they're going into that world again, and I'm just like, bro, I can't do it anymore. It's just... It's what it is.
00:48:49
Speaker
I feel torn when people go going home back and going back into the dating world, like after you've been married and stuff, it's like right now you have a clearance rack.
00:49:01
Speaker
Cleaning track is on Tinder. Yeah, no, mike my boys is killing it on hands in Tinder. I'm like, wow, huh? I never got that kind of love on Tinder and Bitches are not I was not hot on Tinder. I'm not Tinder hot, I guess.
00:49:16
Speaker
I was hinged hot and facebook Facebook match hot, but I wasn't Tinder hot. I couldn't get bitches on Tinder. Yo, I hated doing that tender shit like Tinder Tinder, any new shit that came out, I hated doing it. Because then you're just like, yo, we're going to go out to dinner. But in reality, I'm just trying to get in. like So how are we going to do it? I had to plan it out like that. like Yeah, I was just trying to fuck too. I wasn't trying to find no love. I was, Julia wasn't even is supposed to be love. I was, I was supposed to go there just to fuck too. And it ended up being, turning out to be what it ended up turning out to be. That's dope. It was her and some girl from New Hampshire. I had them like on a damn near fucking coin flip. Well, I'm happy that worked out for
Open Marriages and Cheating Societal Norms
00:50:06
Speaker
you. I found out some shit today and I'm just kind of like, wow. Okay. You found out what today?
00:50:14
Speaker
and Yeah, no, man, you know when you love doing that shit Okay, so I got along with my son's father like we're yeah cool. We're friends, you know, that's that's all we were we were friends when things happened um He was divorced he what he had told me at that time three years ago When I told me he's like, yeah, he's like we' we're starting to work on things with his ex-wife You say I'm gonna get back with her and I'm like, oh Yeah, you weren't a break. You were ex-wife. Had a baby with me.
00:50:54
Speaker
Yeah, then I was gonna get back with his ex-wife. That's a hell of a break, my boy. Hell of a break, my boy. and I'm just kinda like, did she know? Did you tell her? I mean, damn. Maybe I should have took a break with my ex-wife.
00:51:16
Speaker
Really? Maybe. I mean, I don't know. I shouldn't have because she tried to um at one point and I've said this before on the show, but um she tried at one point to suggest an open marriage, which see, I'm a hip ass nigga. I already knew that she's only suggesting an open marriage because she don't fuck somebody and she needs to justify it.
00:51:42
Speaker
That's basically how. Yeah. See, I'm hip, man. um ah I am hip. You cannot play the fucking player. I am a PlayStation 5. You're the controller. You can't play me. i think Like, if you would have just told me, yo, if you could have told me right then, yo, I already hit this one dude and I was just interested, wanted to know of you how would you feel about doing open marriage?
00:52:05
Speaker
You know what debt that idea of her fucking another guy would have hit me so much less if she opened with that and then suggested an open marriage. i'm like I would started thinking about the bitches I got on my list that I've been wanting to fuck. And I would have been like, i want to thought yeah is are the bitches I want to fuck worth opening my marriage? That's what I would have done at that point in time. And I didn't really have a gun.
00:52:32
Speaker
I didn't have any bitches to fuck because at that time I really did. I really did shut everything down. I didn't want to do anything. I was all set. I did everything I wanted when I was cheating. I have anything else to do. I was all out of shit. So, you know, I already fucked a big bitch already. Fucked a lesbian, I already This shit at work, I already done something in my car, I already did public fucking. i and I've already done it all. I mean, she didn't know that, but I'd already done it all. So what do I need to open marriage for? it And that's pretty much why I said no. But I knew from that moment, leading up to that moment, I already had an idea she had fucked somebody else already. Once she said that, I knew she fucked somebody else already.
00:53:29
Speaker
Because I'm not a dumb ass dude. I know how shit going. I know how women think. I just know how they think. Isabella, if I was dating you, I couldn't trust you no further than I can throw you. Why? You're questionable.
00:53:47
Speaker
know you' just got a manipulate You got to take over the mind control, like Deebo.
00:53:54
Speaker
I mean, you can do that with some women. You can do that with Isabelle though, because see, she got a man brain. You can't do that with Isabelle. It'll take a while, but you just have, it's like break opening a lock at safe. had a point Isabelle, what'd you think? I don't know you too well. I don't think you can break Isabelle like that. Isabelle's a player. God made Adam and Eve, right? He made Eve to support Adam. He made Eve for Adam, not the other way around.
00:54:26
Speaker
Wait, he made Adam before Eve. But he made Eve for Adam. Oh, I thought you said before. My bad. Yeah, I'm trying to think this shit through myself. Damn, Jack and Coke, man. That's what I'm thinking, totally shit. I'm gonna start drinking. What was that? What was I saying to you? Uh, we talked about open marriage.
00:54:54
Speaker
justification for being being in an open marriage yeah you're asking me about capuccino cappuccino mm-hmm only going to get the the drinks bro you every time I come over to the doctor's obvious you won't go have a drink drink tonight
00:55:17
Speaker
Well, no, cause I really, I was really, and I did stop drinking for a while. I went like maybe like four months, maybe five. Oh yeah. That is what happened. Last time you brought up that I don't drink no more shit. I'm like, yeah, okay. Sure. Let's see how long that lasts. And that girl showed me the calendar. Yeah. Everybody was doubting me. I'm like, I'm really like.
00:55:42
Speaker
Like I was literally telling everybody like, no, like you don't understand, like I'm drinking like every day after work. And it's not just like any drink, like I think I'm going to have a whole lot of wine. I'll be fine. You know, like it was, it was getting bad. Yeah. I'm, I don't know if I'm getting bad or and or not. I don't feel like I am, but I know I come home most nights and now I have a beer. Sometimes I have two beers, but if I'm coming home and I feel like I got to have a beer at all, isn't that a problem?
00:56:13
Speaker
Or is it not? I mean, it's a beer, I guess, but it is every day. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, come off and work and be like, oh, I can't wait till I get on and have that beer, you know? god I mean, if that's what you're looking forward to, then yes, it is a problem. but Oh, well, I'm not saying I'm looking forward to it exactly, but it's like.
00:56:32
Speaker
That's the first thing you're doing as soon as you get home. like Walk past your wife. Don't even say hi. i go Just go straight to the fridge and grab a beer. Well, I mean, I look at her. It is a problem. I acknowledge her. I mean, I sent her a text message to bring me another Jack and Coke in here and she ain't happy yet. But I don't know. it's i feel I feel like it's a problem. But is it honestly a problem? That's on average seven beers a week.
00:57:00
Speaker
How bad is that for my health? But I do work out. Still, how bad is for my health? Maybe I'm just one of those people that look good, but I'm dying on the inside. Oh my God. Yeah, I'm very ah extra.
00:57:17
Speaker
I'm very extra. But I do think about it a lot though, like I... I am having a drink every day and now, like even now, it's fucking 1044. I gotta go to work in the morning and I'm looking for my second round of Jack and Coke. These things are fucking fire by the way, I mean. Jack and Coke. See, used to like the honey Jack and Coke. Oh shoot, that's dope. I don't even... I don't know, they those. They make these.
00:57:50
Speaker
What's the gelato? What is that I'll be wondering? What the fuck is that? uh chalala basically it's just beer and they add like tajin to it they add um the other stuff chamoy you saying a bunch of shit uh izzy that i don't know i know i am american as fuck i'm from mississippi i don't know this shit well this is a beer and it has like it's mango flavored and they put chili spice in it
00:58:22
Speaker
and Okay. Booty sauce. Okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Booty sauce. Oh, you know what we're talking about? My kid's father getting back to his ex-wife. That's what we're talking about. Is he the 50-year-old? Yeah. He's not 50.
00:58:47
Speaker
So his ex-wife is the 39-year-old? Yeah. That woman you showed me the picture? No, no, no. That's not his ex-wife. I don't even think I ever showed you his ex-wife. I know my son's father, his wife, or ex-wife, whatever it is, working on things, trying to get back together. She's actually really, really pretty. I think she's like 40. I don't know. She's 40? She's pretty?
00:59:12
Speaker
Mad pretty. If you're giving up props like that, you're probably like, damn, go ahead, damn, bruh, I guess. Literally, I'm just like, damn. She's like, no, she's like, she's hot. Like, I'm like, damn, she's not pretty. How's your, uh, how's your fitness life going so far? Have you gotten back in the gym yet? Who, me? Yeah, you. I'm actually supposed to be starting last, I was supposed to start last week.
00:59:36
Speaker
yeah like you're supposed to last year And It's been cold, yeah. I know. It's been cold, dude. I was supposed to train you. What's your fucking point? I can leave you in this cold where my knees start hurting, okay? My knees hurt, too. That's what happens when you get 30 plus. Your knees hurt. No! Shit. I get off of them. Yeah. You sit down all day. One knee has more than the other. Same. And I sit all day. It'll, you know, work out.
01:00:02
Speaker
I got a torn meniscus in my right knee. I still pass PT. I'm a shit. That's probably what I have too. I hurt that shit years ago when I was doing jumping squats. Jumping squats? Mm-hmm. You know, you jump and you You're doing too much, man. Anyway, I didn't veer it all the way off topic and shit over here.
01:00:26
Speaker
We'll get ready in this thing, closing on up. If y'all got anything else you want to add for the betterment of the listeners, speak now or forever. So all the listeners go to therapy. Don't waste your time arguing with your significant other for some stupid.
01:00:45
Speaker
um If your man is cheating or you think he's cheating, let him cheat and just leave him. That's it. Say nothing, just bye. Hold up, Sikh. That brings up something else I got to talk about now because I i honestly, you were going to say what to say about it, but I think if you got a good man and he found you special enough to put a ring on your finger and financially so holding the house down, why the fuck would you leave him for cheating on you?
01:01:18
Speaker
when it's in a man's DNA to kind of be a bit disloyal. And all he's asking for a woman to do is be loyal and be his peace. And he cheats on you, but it's covering everything else. And you want to leave him? I know, for cheating, for just trying to get a nut, that's it. Yeah, for a nut, because once again, men are physical creatures.
01:01:44
Speaker
It's like no masturbate with this hand. Sometimes you want to do with the left too. Once in a while.
01:01:54
Speaker
So Isabel, since you're the woman here, I want to direct that question towards you before we get out of of here. I want to know what your thought process on that is. Why leave a good man? If you know he's a good man, he's a good father, financially keeps the house in order.
01:02:14
Speaker
He just cheats on you. um Why leave that man when the next man is likely gonna cheat on you also? And he'll be the one that's not a great father. Can't financially support the house. Treats you like shit more so than the other one. Gives you two minutes. You gotta to learn how to forgive. That's what I'm gonna say. Learn how to forgive. Mm-hmm. If he is financially, you know, if i'm like if I'm staying at home and you're taking care of all the bills,
01:02:44
Speaker
I'm, I'm good. The kids are good. know Yeah, I'll forgive you. Oh shit. See, damn, that's what's up, man. I'm not even saying for forgive. I'm saying being okay with knowing that from time to time, that's just him. That's what he's going to do. I mean, it's like you said, all men cheat. It's in their DNA. So you just got to know which one I guess is worth it, which one it's worth putting up with, but, um,
01:03:14
Speaker
kind of like where it comes down to like yeah but at the end of the day it doesn't make you feel kind of like a piece of shit like damn I'm not good enough so But it's not about you not being good enough because I think you need to see that you are better than good enough because you're the one that he saw special enough to bow down on a need to have a whole fucking wedding. Put a baby in. He only did that with you. He put the baby in you. He gave the ring to you. He got on his knee for you. He's financially securing your home. Our home.
01:03:51
Speaker
Isn't it ah is it okay to know that that man sometimes from time to time, he's like, I'm going to sleep with this woman. it's no It's no emotional attachment. It's all physical. He just wants to fuck. I mean, I know, but it's kind of like at the end of the day, like the marriage, that you're supposed to be faithful. Like that, the marriage, that's what the marriage is. It's a commitment to this one person. So it shouldn't be, but you shouldn't have to be be putting some, you know, putting yourself in that position, like that you're going to cheat like because you're not If you're not ready to let go of having multiple women in your life, even if it's just a nut, you shouldn't be getting married. OK, hold on. Let's tell my real quick. Let's just stop. You're referring to the Bible. Imagine somebody writing something 30,000 years ago. How do we know? I believe in God and all that. I pray all the time. Thank you, Lord. How do you know they took that part out just because somebody was mad? How do you know?
01:04:47
Speaker
right And think about it. Were you from again? like Because yeah're you're an Hispanic, correct? Yeah, Mexican. OK. Aztecs. Look at them. They were like slinging they everywhere they went because they had to procreate. You know what I'm saying? Think about that. Women stayed back, took care of the family. Look at Pocahontas. I love Pocahontas. I'm just saying. you know
01:05:22
Speaker
I don't know. That's just my humble opinion about cheating into marriage and stuff. Just because I've been through it. I understand. I just asked this because I was listening to my podcast. I updated Fresh and Fit podcast and they kind of touched on this with the women. And I went to my wife and asked her the same thing. If I'm financially holding down a house, you know I love you. I gave you the ring, got down on the knee for you, and I'm a great father.
01:05:52
Speaker
from time to time I have sex with other women. Are you leaving? My wife couldn't tell me that she would leave.
01:06:01
Speaker
Because that financial security is there. Is it the financial security or, hold up, hold up. Is it the financial security or is it really just knowing he is a great guy and the next guy might not be a great guy and he's still going to cheat. It's the idea of knowing that a man is going to cheat regardless.
01:06:20
Speaker
and If they're going to cheat regardless, why not take the best one for you? That is going to be the best man towards you. But he just, you know, sometimes I'm getting my nut off somewhere else.
01:06:35
Speaker
Yeah, but still. It just sucks being put in that position, I guess. ah so yeah do Okay. So like in my situation, you know, like freaking years ago when I was married.
01:06:50
Speaker
Like, yeah, it was a stay at home mom. He was paying all the bills and yeah, he was cheating. But at some point you just kind of get sick of it. You're just like, dude, like I'm not a fucking doormat either. Like and being I'm a person. I'm a woman. How were you treated outside of the financial security though? That's the thing. That's where it gets scary. Cause it's like at one point, like,
01:07:16
Speaker
he would cheat it on me the last time that I knew of that he cheated on me was with some pregnant chick. And I'm like, dude, you're really going to the point of fucking a pregnant chick like, you know, and and at that point, it's like, you know what, I just got to leave the situation. And it took me years, okay, like literally years, because being stay at home parent, like parent, and somebody else is taking care of your bills, obviously you're starting from zero, you're starting from nothing. So, you know, like to have to find a job now, to start to save money, to do this, to do that, to learn how to do everything on your own plus still working now, like it's it's a lot. And I feel like that's why maybe like, if you're financially secure, you're just going to let it slide because it's a fucking struggle having to start from nothing. Yeah, that's true. How do you find out? How did I find out?
01:08:12
Speaker
About the pregnant chick? About just everything him cheating. i well Well... So you went looking? No, no, it wasn't even that I went looking. um The few occasions that I found out was... Because one of them was my friend and she came up to me and told me that she tried that he was trying to hit on her. Yeah. The pregnant chick I found out because...
01:08:40
Speaker
her sister found out so she came like knocking on our door talking about like, why are you doing this to my sister? And this is like yelling through the door. And he was like, and I was like, who the fuck is that? And he's like, don't open it, don't open it. And I'm like, what do you mean don't open it? Like, who the fuck is banging on the door right now? And he was just like, and then she just started yelling like, oh no, now she's having problems with her. andah And I'm like, but who is it? So eventually, you know, they left and I look out the window and I'm like, oh, it's this bitch.
01:09:08
Speaker
So he was sloppy. That's just, okay, it makes sense. So it's like, yeah, it was being like, everything was being taken care of financially. But it's like, dude, now you're making me look like a fucking dumbass because you're fucking, you know, people that know me, that know that I'm your wife. You know? Yeah, honestly, on some serious shit, you have every right because he was sloppy. Like that's fucking disgusting. As ah as a fucking player, that's disgusting.
01:09:39
Speaker
yeah what as a player yeah that is When I mentioned the cheating though, you're not supposed to I mean doing in a way where it's like, you know like your wife you're not supposed to yeah Your wife is not so is supposed to be the queen of the fucking castle. Yeah, you're not supposed to bring anything to her and you any harm to her so she's not supposed to be feeling like that even if she went to go search like she knows that She's not supposed to like go do any any of that. So you're supposed to make her secure enough to like, okay, but okay, he didn't do that. So you have to be right. So I agree with you. Very rare to agree in this situation. Very rare. Kinda like Ray Charles.
01:10:17
Speaker
you know Seeing that movie, kind of like that. He wasn't supposed to let her find out. She knew it was happening, but as long as she didn't see it, it's kind of not happening. Cause he has been a good father. He's financially stable. Everything was good until the bitch called the house. You know, everything was good. So like, like my, my love the weekend says happiness exists when you don't know a thing.
01:10:43
Speaker
Yeah. And that's, ah and that's basically what I'm asking. You know, if you didn't know a thing, but you mean you don't know for proof, you don't got to see it. You're not seeing it every day, but you know, he does it because he's told you, this is the way it is. But you're the one I love. I'm coming home to you. I'm taking care of these children. No one else will be pregnant. Blah, blah, blah. You know, would you stick around type shit? I think most women would stick around.
01:11:13
Speaker
Because, yes, that financial security is what they're looking at the most, but I think they should also be looking at the fact that the man actually is showing them love and appreciation and not treating them like shit when he is. Yeah, as long as like you know things don't change and you're not like now acting weird with me, you're not ignoring me, you're not treating me like a piece of shit. and Yeah, amazing.
01:11:36
Speaker
I can go get slopped off by any bitch right now. It wouldn't change
Humor and Podcast Sign-Off
01:11:39
Speaker
anything. I'm gonna be at this house I'm still the same man at the home, you know put too much i don't um My wife knows I talk She knows I'm good with it. I'm straight. She knows she can trust me. I'm lovable Yeah, I'm that great guy. I just undo the cheating part Okay, that's good. That's really good but I did tell her if I hit on the Powerball tomorrow. Nigga might change up. And she already told me she ain't going nowhere. So, shit, I'm good to go. Shit, me and Amado, club desire.
01:12:22
Speaker
isnt not on call right If I hit the Powerball, well, I'm calling up every motherfucking dude I know. We going out. to the titty bar that night and I was spending money on everybody. Anybody got a cup, play for shit. I'm doing anything you want.
01:12:41
Speaker
So you point one out in the club, you can fuck it a night. Every pussy got a price. That's true. And they're right, Isabelle. Don't answer You're good. They ain't got to answer that. But listen to that. It's been good. Kicking it with y'all, man. Louis, we'll see you next week. ah The Man Cave podcast is going to sign off. You can always follow me at The Life of Bryce. Instagram,
01:13:07
Speaker
ah iszabelle ring my Isabella. You still there? That's still you? Yes, tell me ring my Isabelle look at that kind of name that way you didn't get no motherfucking man cuz they know what that shit mean, bro, right my At you talking about somebody ringing your baby. Oh my god, bro No goddamn good, but I like the name though. But come on. You already know what's up. Oh the Man the scorpion king over here. I don't think that's the name but it's scorpion. So it's the Scorpio Yeah, the Scorpio man. Good to have y'all I gotta get you the gown too cuz you keep asking me so uh Wasn't a Jonathan like I gotta get out to say oh, yeah know get him on we should have one next week talk about military shit
01:13:55
Speaker
We can do that. yeah let's We can do that. Let's do that. i hit them I'll send him a text message on a... I don't got him on shit, but I'll message him. I'll message him on there. So ah yeah, do that next week. Luis will be back next week too. So be a good little round up. So peace out everybody. Have a good night. Thanks for listening. Deuces.