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Episode 717 - I to X of Swords Begins
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Our new game for 2025 and beyond begins this week, and it's a sharp one!
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Transcript
Introduction to Zencastr and Hosts
00:00:00
Speaker
This show is recorded using Zencaster. If you are a podcaster or you want to be a podcaster and you want to be able to record remotely, you can do so using Zencaster.
00:00:12
Speaker
They also have hosting options and you can let them know that we sent you. Follow the link in our show notes or in the episode description and sign up for an account on Zencaster now to start recording your own podcast.
00:00:28
Speaker
Titus, I'm bored. What plaything can you offer me today?
00:00:38
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got one rocket Ajax to bring back his body. Terminate!
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello, everybody, and welcome to War Rocket Ajax. This is the Internet's most explosive comic book and pop culture podcast. We are your hosts. My name is Chris Sims, and i You know, i Chris is Chris.
Personal Habits and Friend Interactions
00:01:12
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With me, as always, Matt Wilson.
00:01:16
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And, Matt, the most recent bad decision that I have made is that while I was very sick, I did have Taco Bell delivered because I had a craving. yeah What about you?
00:01:30
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ah bad decision I make with more regularity than I should is that there is a, and this is probably the most recent one as well. There's a gas station that isn't quite walking distance from my house, but that is close enough that I can get there in just a couple minutes in my car.
00:01:49
Speaker
And they have like a loyalty program so that you can get like a 32 ounce soda and For like 89 cents or something like that.
00:02:00
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And so... Like well like a fountain soda. And so I will periodically... When I just like am jonesing... Like I've made every effort I can to drink less soda in my life.
00:02:13
Speaker
But...
00:02:16
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periodically I will go down there when I'm like, I need it. And I will get one of those 32 ounce cups and I will just, and I'll make sure that the Cheerwine fountain is working because sometimes it's not.
00:02:28
Speaker
And I will just load up with Cheerwine. And like, I'll like do like one of those no ice pours. That's a lot of Cheerwine, bud. To get as much as possible.
00:02:41
Speaker
That's a significant amount. Somebody on our Discord recently said, because we talked about Bojangles, Benito and I talked about Bojangles last week. I heard. Somebody on the Discord said that Cheerwine is mid, and do not say that to me.
00:02:56
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Wow, did do you kick that person out of the Discord immediately? No, but I'm i'm saying, if you if you have that thought, don't say it where I can see it. Yeah, that's an that's an inside thought that stays stays inside your head.
00:03:11
Speaker
Good gravy. not one that you share to your boys. Also, thing you mentioned at the top of the show, what I love about that most is that that was Benito going out of his way to try to not say anything that you would perceive as mean.
00:03:26
Speaker
Uh-huh.
00:03:31
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Yeah, it's because you know what? That long pause really really just says positive things about my friend. Yeah. He was trying to, he, I know exactly what was going on in his head.
00:03:45
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He was like, oh shit, what can I say that Chris is going to think is, is
New Podcast Segments and Patreon Thanks
00:03:49
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offensive to him? It's going to take as an insult. And then it happened anyway.
00:03:56
Speaker
Look, I know that when you two get together, the your favorite thing to do is to do a podcast where you ah make fun of me. What did I say? I didn't say anything.
00:04:08
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I said nothing but nice things. You two collectively, you love you love to do a podcast where you two make fun of your good friend who only loves you. I only said nice things.
00:04:20
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isn't I said you're very insightful on Apocrypals. Mm-hmm.
00:04:27
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Anyway, we have a great show for everybody this week. We do. We are going to launch the new game for the year 2025, and maybe beyond, depending on how it goes.
00:04:38
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i i thought We're going to do this one as long as we feel like it. Yeah. I'm a little bit apprehensive, Matt. Why is that? I'm unsure of how it's going to go. Because I think it's i think it's an exciting...
00:04:55
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new game that will appeal to you and to me. And I don't know how much it will appeal to anyone else in the world. But we're going love it.
00:05:07
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You know what? I don't give a fuck.
00:05:12
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We'll do what we want to do. you know, it is it is our show. Like the Addams Family, we'll do what we want to do. Do what they want to Say what they want to say. Play what they want to play. They're going to live how they want to live, man.
00:05:25
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As Hammer so clearly stated. Eloquently put it, I would say. Yes. All right. but We will reveal what the new segment is a little bit later in the show. But Chris, before we do that, it's going to be the title of the episode, so people are going to know anyway. But...
00:05:46
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Nonetheless, Chris, before we get to it, we have some business to take care of, starting with thanking our newest supporters over on Patreon. That's right, Matt. Now, these are the people who used to have to go all the way down to 717 Gimmick Street if they wanted to help out the show.
00:06:02
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Don't go there. Don't go to 717 Gimmick
Game Reviews and Recommendations
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Street. That's not where we are. You know what's there, Matt. I decided since Benito mentioned it last week that at 717 Gimmick Street, there is a Greggs.
00:06:16
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Right. ah The Greggs, gregs the ah British grocery? It's a it's like a kid it's like a kid it's it's like a sandwich shop, I guess.
00:06:32
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ah I saw Greggs everywhere when I was in the UK, but I never actually went inside one. So that's that's that's my best guess. At 7.17...
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gimmick street, of course, is your local pharmacy.
00:06:54
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ah Which, in the UK, they would call a chemist. But here it's a pharmacy. this This area of gimmick street is rapidly turning into We Britain from Arrested Development.
00:07:06
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But it's not a chemist. It's a pharmacy. It is a pharmacy.
00:07:13
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Or as Lemmy pronounced it on Lemmy's show, farmacy. It's pretty good. Hey, pronouncing words wrong is hilarious. it's all it's Well, it's not always funny. Sometimes it's bad.
00:07:25
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Sometimes it's bad, but like usually like like the the emphasis on the wrong syllable... like You know this, Matt. There's very few things I love more than talking about something being a controversy.
00:07:36
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Controversy is... like Saying it... ah like the way people other English speakers say it, but not the way we say it is is always funny. I also talked about how on the show before, when I read the word stomachache, a little voice in my head pops up with a fucking mustache and just goes, a stomachache.
00:08:04
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Marlene and I regularly, if we have to talk about Facebook, we say facie book. Fa-cha-book. Fa-cha-book. Hey, but people can go to the fucking pharmacy and go to Patreon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. to the pharmacy.
00:08:20
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And then also, ah don't go to the chemist. Go to the pharmacy and get yourself some some extra strength NyQuil. That's what I was rocking. And also, kick in as little as a dollar a month.
00:08:35
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to help the show by going to patreon.com slash warrocketajax. That helps us keep doing the show. It helps us do all the stuff that we do. It helps us ah occasionally see each other in real life and record some some hot con.
00:08:49
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And most importantly, particularly for me at this very moment, it it helps me pay those gimmicks they keep sending in the mail called Bills. That's right. And Chris, here are our newest Patreon supporters.
00:09:02
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Wednesday Sophia. Oh, Wednesday Sophia. That is a ah name I recognize. Thank you, Wednesday Sophia. Joe Thank you, Joe G. And Nicholas BK.
00:09:14
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Thank you, Nicholas BK. If you would like to be like those three lovely people. Nicholas Big Crit. Or Nicholas Burger King. Or... I feel like other things like he might have got, like depending on whether this the how much of the actual name that is, I feel like maybe he got Burger King a lot.
00:09:35
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so i was trying i i It was also my first thought, but I was trying to think. British Knights? it Could be. that's That's what you've got wear when you're in the ah the seven ten s section of Gimmick Street.
00:09:50
Speaker
That's right. If you would like to be like those three lovely people, head over to patreon.com slash warrockandajaxon. As Chris said, kick it as little as a dollar a month to make sure that we do this show every single week, that we do Comics Catch-Up monthly. Now, we had to not do Comics Catch-Up in March because Chris got sick.
00:10:09
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But our plan originally was to split our read of The Shadow, 1987 Shadow series,
00:10:20
Speaker
into two parts anyway. So we'll just do the whole thing in April. And it'll be like two episodes in one. How about that? Sounds good. Yeah. Comics Catch-Up. But it makes Comics Catch-Up possible. It makes Every Story Ever specials possible.
00:10:38
Speaker
It makes Movie Fighters and Snag Situation possible. Your support on Patreon helps us out in all those ways for all those shows. And as a patron, you get every single one of those shows that I just named.
00:10:48
Speaker
completely ad-free in your own special Patreon feed. That is just for you. it and Again, it very much does help me continue to be alive. Yes, it does.
00:10:59
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as As does it me. and And it also helps us continue to make this show. I had a computer that was essentially dead a few months ago.
00:11:09
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And i the only way I was able to buy a new one on which to continue to make and edit this show was by your support on Patreon. Also as a patron, at the $5 level, you get bonus content. That's lots of bonus audio and writing that we've done over on Patreon.
00:11:28
Speaker
And as we have mentioned, we have promised if we reach the funny weed number on Patreon 420 subscribers, that we will take edibles or perhaps drink...
00:11:43
Speaker
a cannabis soda and sit down and do some bonus content. We are currently at 410. That's so close.
00:11:55
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We are 10 away. We've also set a goal to have this achieved by April 20th. So now is the time to go join the Patreon.
00:12:09
Speaker
You can join for, again, just $1 per month. And get that number up to 420 so that we can record that bonus content. It will only go to bonus content level subscribers on Patreon, but if we get to 420, we will do it.
00:12:29
Speaker
At $10, you get line-stepping privileges for the segments, which currently include every story ever and the segment we are going to introduce on this episode. yeah Levels higher than that, you get physical rewards, including t-shirts.
00:12:42
Speaker
And we're going to get serious, now that tax season is coming to an end, ah we're going to get serious about the 2025 t-shirt, and you'll hear more about that soon.
00:12:53
Speaker
If you're unable to help us monetarily, which we do understand that there may be lots of reasons why that is the case, you can help us out in other ways. You can leave us a five-star review on the podcasting app that you use, whatever that may be.
00:13:05
Speaker
Or you can just spread some good word of mouth about the show. Tell your friends and family to listen to War Rocket Ajax, and then tell them to join the Patreon and pay us.
00:13:18
Speaker
I'm pausing for effect. Okay, I thought you were trying to think of an allegedly nice thing to say about me. Chris, how about we do some Checks and Rucks? Let's do it.
00:13:31
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Chris, it's it's been a couple weeks since we've chatted. What's going on with you? Well, Matt, I spent over one of those weeks in bed.
00:13:42
Speaker
Just not having a good time. So, like, the version of InBad that is not referred to at the end of ah Fortune Cookie Fortune. that No, I mean, it depends.
00:13:55
Speaker
Sure. It might be. if If the fortune is you're going to have a bad time, then Fair enough. ah No, I was very sick. But I'll tell you what happened to me recently.
00:14:06
Speaker
I wasn't betrayed by a friend. is this Is this about the thing Bonito said? No, no, no, no, no. Ever since I accurately predicted, before I had read a page of Dragon Ball, I'm going to be a 40-year-old who knows a whole lot about Goku.
00:14:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah, i know but I know exactly what this is. Okay. Yeah, and then I i made that happen. I believed it, I achieved it. you know but There's been a running joke of, like well, what am I going to get into next?
00:14:37
Speaker
you know ah We even talked about it here on the show. And our buddy Ben, Ben Gully, has ah said a bunch of times, like oh, it should be Kingdom Hearts. like I can absolutely see you just getting mega into Kingdom Hearts.
00:14:55
Speaker
ah Which, you know, I like the X-Men. So it seems like the weird kind of weird, overly complicated shit that I would enjoy. Right. ah So recently, ah the Kingdom Hearts Interregnum Masterpiece Collection went on sale on Steam for $30.
00:15:14
Speaker
And I screenshotted it. And i I sent it to our friends and I said, hey, if somebody buys this for me, I'll play it. Ha ha.
00:15:26
Speaker
You can't do that. You can't do that. Somebody's going to do it. I mean, Matt, I ask people to buy me things all the time. I ask people to give me $20 on a fairly regular basis.
00:15:39
Speaker
Sure, sure. But our buddy Annie Creighton had one word to say to that, and it was sold. And so now I am the owner of the Kingdom Hearts Interregnum Masterpiece Collection,
00:15:51
Speaker
Matt, that's Kingdom Hearts Final Mix, Kingdom Hearts Re-Chain of Memories, Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix, Kingdom Hearts 358 Over 2 Days, Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep Final Mix, Kingdom Hearts Re-Coded.
00:16:05
Speaker
Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance HD, Kingdom Hearts key black Key Back Cover, I guess is a movie? Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep, A Fragmentary Passage, and Kingdom Hearts 3 and the Remind DLC.
00:16:27
Speaker
That's a lot of Kingdom Hearts. That is a lot. That is a lot.
00:16:34
Speaker
So I did start playing it. Mm-hmm. And I i told AC, I was like, and yeah, I explained the situation, and I was like, i started playing Kingdom Hearts.
00:16:45
Speaker
And she was like, how was it? And I had a a very Benito-esque long pause before I said, I'm finding it very hard to imagine playing more Kingdom Hearts.
00:16:59
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and And have you? Nah, man. Not in a couple of days. ah you're at You're out of it. You're falling out of it. I mean, i look, I got to Traverse Town. that's as That's as far as I've gotten so far.
00:17:14
Speaker
It's... Matt, it's ah it's a... I know I said I would do it, and I'll do it. Rest assured, I'll do it.
00:17:29
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But... Oof, buddy. It is a...
00:17:35
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Daunting.
00:17:38
Speaker
Challenging. It's challenging. You know?
00:17:43
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understand. I will say this, though. ah Simple and Clean's a banger.
00:17:51
Speaker
That's a song from the game? I don't know anything about King of Mark. I'm sure you saw those commercials back when it came. When you walk away, you don't hear me say, please.
00:18:03
Speaker
Oh, baby.
00:18:06
Speaker
you never Surely you saw those. I know we have watched... Whatever I was watching that played those commercials incessantly, you had to also be watching. i'm I'm not saying I didn't see them, but they slid right off of my brain.
00:18:22
Speaker
Okay, well, rest assured, Simple and Clean is a banger. Although it does make me want a version of Kingdom Hearts that plays so fresh and so clean. Which, of course, you you would know more about. Yeah, i I definitely know more about that. Yeah.
00:18:35
Speaker
Matt? What have you been doing while I've been
00:18:41
Speaker
getting into Kingdom Hearts? But maybe also getting out of it. Getting through it, for sure. Well, Chris, ah yeah you know what you know what we do in in troubled times, in difficult times, in...
00:18:58
Speaker
oh decide to ah learn a lot about Kingdom Hearts, apparently. Well, you could do that. But I also know that you you've done this before. I'm certainly guilty of this.
00:19:10
Speaker
ah We retreat into nostalgia to feel like we did in the times we felt better.
Comic Book Critiques
00:19:24
Speaker
And also, i have been mourning to a degree the um the death of Space Ghost Coast to Coast voice actor George Lowe.
00:19:39
Speaker
And I was kind of bummed because I knew that there wasn't a place online anywhere to watch all the episodes of Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
00:19:51
Speaker
I knew that you could watch some of them on the Adult Swim website, But also, that website is a lie. They have several episodes listed that you can't watch, and then some episodes that are not even listed on that page. you know There are certain episodes I want to watch. I want to watch Joshua, my favorite 11 minutes of television ever.
00:20:17
Speaker
But, lo and behold, now look, do I have all the DVDs? Of course I do. do you think I am? You're talking to talking to physical media Wilson.
00:20:30
Speaker
I bought those when they were still available, which they're not anymore. And I could probably sell them for a decent ah chunk of change on eBay or whatever. I'm not getting rid of those.
00:20:40
Speaker
Those are my Space Ghost DVDs. But I don't want to bust those out. I have reached the point where it is too much trouble to get out the DVDs.
00:20:51
Speaker
So I was like, man, I really wish I could watch these online somewhere. And then i happened to come across the Internet Archive corner which does, in fact, have every episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, including the Lost and Forgotten Game Tap episodes, and those suck.
00:21:17
Speaker
So I have been over the past week, essentially any time that I've had where I have been in my office watching a video on the computer, that video has been an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
00:21:37
Speaker
ah And i have basically gone back through the entire series ah and and seen almost all of it. And it's like a warm b blanket.
00:21:51
Speaker
it's It's like... The early episodes, I cannot recite word for word. i am getting to the later episodes that i absolutely can't.
00:22:03
Speaker
So ah that's that's been nice. ah Space Ghost Coast to Coast is definitely one of those things that is in the the Akewood Homestar Runner category of things that really rewired how my brain works.
00:22:22
Speaker
Oh, same. And changed the way I speak. Yeah, yeah. i One thing that I noted when George Lowe died... was that ah the way that he said his line reading of simply the two words, oh no, changed the way I said, oh no, for the rest of my life.
00:22:44
Speaker
To where my genuine, serious, sincere oh no sounds like, oh no.
00:22:52
Speaker
And it is how I will always say it until I am dead. I feel like, it's like, Surely it was not like the first time that I really realized what you could do with wordplay, but King Dead yeah is still like one of the funniest things in the world to me.
00:23:17
Speaker
Yeah. You'll be King Dead. Because that was on it like that was on Cartoon Network, man. Pre-being able to cuss on Cartoon Network, yeah.
00:23:30
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's that episode starts in the middle of the word, where he's saying, King Dad! Yes. And then later, there's like he's like talking into a bullhorn, and there's static that gets rid of it. the the the The one that has always gotten to me as like, oh, that's my sense of humor.
00:23:54
Speaker
This is what I find funny. Is in the episode Warren, which... is among the weirdest episodes of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. it does None of it takes place in the studio.
00:24:08
Speaker
um But there's a bit where Space Ghost and Zorak and Moltar show up at um the lair of the title character, Warren. And Warren's not there yet.
00:24:21
Speaker
And there's this like computer on a pillar... ah that's like saying everything that they have to do to enter.
00:24:33
Speaker
And Zorak says something about, what, are you going to ah ah glue my mouth shut if I don't stop talking? And Space Ghost goes, no, I will use medical sutures, which I keep in my fanny pack.
00:24:49
Speaker
And there's like a little animated fanny pack he's wearing. And ah the computer, as soon as he says fanny pack, goes... You know the rules. No fanny packs.
00:25:00
Speaker
And so the fanny pack disappears from him. And Space X just goes, my breakfast bars. And that is so fucking funny. Yeah.
00:25:12
Speaker
I don't know if ah Evan Dorkin hates me or if that's just if that's just Evan Dorkin. Yeah. But i if we can ever get him on the show, I would love to ask him about his time on Space Ghost.
00:25:27
Speaker
Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer wrote a bunch of those episodes, yeah. As far as I know, Sarah Dyer has no feelings about me one way or the other. Yeah. As far as I know. All right, Chris, let's make some recommendations. what do you have to recommend?
00:25:41
Speaker
Matt, I am going to recommend a game. It's called Kingdom Hearts. No, you're not. No, you're not. I'm just playing. I'm playing. You're messing around. I'm having an a larf.
00:25:55
Speaker
Yeah. Here in ah in in the Wii Britain section of Gimmick Street. ah No, this is a game ah that is very simple. I think you would would maybe get a lot out of it.
00:26:08
Speaker
Okay. It is called Loop Hero. you know about Loop Hero? i do not know about Loop Hero. ah Loop Hero is a very, like all like, almost like adventure, the video game adventure, ah in terms of graphics. like you know ah As far as what the main screen looks like. Very pixelated, very like retro, you know city laid out on a tile ah sort of thing.
00:26:37
Speaker
The premise is that you are... a survivor of some kind of horrible apocalypse, and ah you are walking in a big loop.
00:26:49
Speaker
And as you walk in a big loop, monsters spawn, and when you fight the monsters, you get tiles that you can lay down that are different kinds of, I guess, biomes, for lack of a better word. Like forests, swamps, mountains, and such, and each one has a different effect.
00:27:04
Speaker
But through it all, you're walking on this loop. The walking happens automatically. The fighting happens automatically. What you are doing is placing the tiles and giving your little guy like weapons and equipment.
00:27:20
Speaker
Very simple. But also, every time you choose to stop or die, ah it is It starts over. It is a roguelike in that way.
00:27:34
Speaker
But the, appropriately enough, gameplay loop is very compelling. Because between these ah little loops around this loop, you have to improve your settlement and you kind of get...
00:27:50
Speaker
deeper into the, ah sort of story, which is itself very compelling. Um, there's like time loop element stuff in it, obviously, but, uh, part of the premise of the game is, uh, you can't remember anything. And so in rebuilding the world, it's actually happening by you remembering it, uh, which is interesting.
00:28:16
Speaker
ah very, very fun game that I liked a lot. It is ah published by Devolver, ah who you may know from Cult of the Lamb, as well as plenty of ah other games, many of which I have and that we have talked about on the show. The Messenger was a Devolver game, ah which is one of my one of my favorite Metroidvania of all time, uh, enter the gungeon down. Well, uh, hotline Miami, I believe was a devolver game.
00:28:50
Speaker
um yeah. So very much in that sort of, like, if you take a step back and look at all of those games as having kind of an aesthetic, very much in that aesthetic, um,
00:29:06
Speaker
ah But yeah, it's ah highly enjoyable. I either got it on sale or in a Humble Bundle or something, but ah Ted Anderson actually recommended it to me ah before I had played it, after after I bought it before I played it.
00:29:20
Speaker
The regular price is $15,
Sword Rating Segment
00:29:22
Speaker
but it's pretty frequently on sale, as is a lot of ah Devolver stuff, and I'm getting a lot of enjoyment out of it. i The writing is very compelling,
00:29:34
Speaker
And the action is... ah ah For a game where you don't really control anything other than the placement of tiles, the action is also like honestly pretty fun. It it it manages to pull off having, much like Vampire Survivors, having action take place that is not under your direct control in a lot of ways.
00:30:02
Speaker
Uh, I'm really enjoying it. A fun thing is the different ways that the biomes can interact with each other. I'm a few hours into it and I still feel like it's opening up to me, but it's definitely like the first time that you put down a tile and it changes something around it into a different thing.
00:30:25
Speaker
It's pretty fun. Uh, but yeah, good, good stuff. Uh, you I think you in particular would enjoy it, but I think if you are looking for something that's got that retro feel, feels a little bit like your ah your Vampire Survivors is in those ways, ah definitely check out Loop Hero.
00:30:48
Speaker
Matt, what do you have to recommend to the people? Kingdom Hearts? No, I haven't played any Kingdom Hearts that I can recall.
00:30:59
Speaker
What I have played is of many hours, and yes, we're finally doing it, many hours of Like a Dragon, infinite wealth.
00:31:11
Speaker
And the recommendation is here. Finally. Now, let me say this. I said last time I talked about this game that I was waiting for the big soap opera twist.
00:31:25
Speaker
Uh-huh. Yeah. And the twist of it Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth is kind of that there isn't one. There is a character who is revealed to secretly be related to another character.
00:31:41
Speaker
ah main character of the game. But those two characters never have a final face-to-face showdown. As far as I can tell, they never meet. Okay.
00:31:58
Speaker
It is like a whole... Because there are two sets of factions of heroes in the game. There's Kasuga, Ichiban Kasuga, and his group, which mostly stay in Hawaii throughout the game.
00:32:15
Speaker
And then there's Kazuma Kiryu and his group, which is mostly in ah ca ah not Kamurocho, Ijinchou in Yokohama, which is where the first game largely took place.
00:32:32
Speaker
And there is a bit where Ichiban and his group are in Japan, but largely they stay in those places and deal with the threats that are in those places.
00:32:49
Speaker
And so... ah Yeah, it there's there's a kind of an interesting separation there. um As I mentioned before, ah VTubers are a big part of the game.
00:33:03
Speaker
And I will say one of the big like story revelations is the identity of a VTuber, and that's fucking great. That ends up being fantastic.
00:33:15
Speaker
Is it true? Yeah. No. As far as like big soap opera story twists, not as many as in the first game, for sure. But as far as like gameplay, the mini-games, the resolution of the story, the way it moves things forward for both Ichiban Kasuga and Kazuma Kiryu, as well as the other characters, ah is really good.
00:33:41
Speaker
Even though Ichiban...
00:33:45
Speaker
cheap but it's The way the game treats Ichiban is interesting. Because he is a main character of the game, for sure. But he also kind of ends up exactly where he started.
00:34:01
Speaker
I mean, he does it, he does it. um But it's... It it is curious the way that part of the game story is told. um But ultimately, like I love the turn-based gameplay.
00:34:17
Speaker
It's way better for me than the gameplay of the older Yakuza games. And I love these characters. And ah basically to the point that I will play a game that they are in no matter what.
00:34:35
Speaker
ah Certainly, if Ichiban is in a game, I'm playing it. So, that's where I'm at. Like a Dragon Infinite Wealth, very fun, very good.
00:34:47
Speaker
And Chris, those are our checks and recs. Which means it's time for us to talk about some comics. Alright, let's do it.
00:34:57
Speaker
Folks, you knew this was going to happen. You knew we were going to do it. It's the winner of the Texas Choice this week, but not in a good way. The first issue of Hush 2, Hatoosh, Batman number 158. It's out.
00:35:10
Speaker
We texted about it. i To quote my text, said it sucks shit.
00:35:18
Speaker
It's just, just a little hu hush, hush. Now, Chris, you noted in your text ah that in Hush 2, Batman wears his real clothes.
00:35:30
Speaker
Correct. Which is mostly true.
00:35:37
Speaker
it's it's Close enough for me. It's the the yellow oval around a bat. Like, his his old costume...
00:35:49
Speaker
it gets messed up, because... He gets electrocuted. the like of Whatever. Whatever the fuck happens. he yeah He has a If you try and take his mask off, it will electrocute you.
00:36:06
Speaker
Which is different than what happens if you try to take his mask off ah in Hwunch. ah won yeah ah Which is that it shot gas out.
00:36:17
Speaker
And so i there is a line of dialogue that I feel like is ah maybe a lettering pass ah correction, where Batman's like, yeah, if you try to take my mask off, it'll shoot gas, or or it'll also electrify you.
00:36:34
Speaker
So you think that second text box saying, oh, it might be gas, ah is it was in? It's going to be gas, or it's going electrify you. yeah I mean, look, maybe that's just me being negative. It's entirely possible that that is not the case at all.
00:36:49
Speaker
ah But yes, Batman's costume gets all messed up, and since Batman, I guess, only has one one of each of his costumes, he goes back to the back and puts on his real clothes.
00:37:02
Speaker
Except that the cape and cowl are black instead of blue. so So at first he's got a blue cape and cowl, but no oval.
00:37:15
Speaker
And then he's got a black cape and cowl, but also the oval. I like the oval. It's fine. I don't understand why the cape and cowl have to be black.
00:37:26
Speaker
I don't know, man. don't know. They can be blue. Why can't they be blue? I think they should be blue. I mean, you know me. I know what Batman's real clothes are. It's the clothes that he wore for 36 years.
00:37:38
Speaker
Yeah. but The reason we're talking so much about Batman's clothes is because this story is dumb as a brick. I think I understand why Hush was so popular now, though.
00:37:51
Speaker
Because this is a story that you don't have to have read it anything to get. Well, see, Matt, i would I would beg to differ with you on that.
00:38:03
Speaker
Because here's the thing. I have had people, i'm a friend of mine, when I i met her, ah we were talking about Batman. I was like, oh, what's like, ah what got you into Batman? And she was like, hey, don't be mean to me.
00:38:19
Speaker
But it was hush. And I was like, don't know. Look, that's totally fine. a that's going to be, you know, DC wanted that that book to get over.
00:38:32
Speaker
So we got over. i think they intended for that book to be an entry point for people. Yeah. Yeah. And look, Hush is bad and dumb. And like that shit with the Riddler makes no fucking sense.
00:38:46
Speaker
But if you've never read a ah a Batman comic, then you don't know that there's all that stuff happens in better stories. Like you don't know that there's like a really good story where Batman takes his shirt off and fights Rosal Gould with a sword.
00:39:02
Speaker
you know You don't know that because you've never read it. So you see that and you're like, oh, that's cool. yeah It's yeah. It is really cool. Imagine if it was in a good comic, though. So i have no I have no disregard or disrespect for people who like got into Batman with Hush.
00:39:20
Speaker
Because I think it is, in many ways, designed to be a comic for people who have never read Batman comics before. Because if you have read Batman comics before, you'll know that shit doesn't make any sense.
00:39:32
Speaker
This is kind of an ideal follow-up to that, because it is a story that assumes you have read Hush, and also you've read Killing Joke and Death in the Family.
00:39:47
Speaker
And I guess The Laughing Fish? i There's no way it expects you to have read The Laughing Fish, but but people know about Joker having Laughing Fish.
00:40:00
Speaker
Yeah. it But like here's the thing. Its references to all of those stories are so oblique. And like you don't really have to have read them to follow this story.
00:40:18
Speaker
Because this story, I'll repeat... is dumb as a brick. Oh, as a sack of hammers, yeah. There's a scene... Okay, so when Batman falls into the water with the laughing fish, and they try to take off his mask, and he gets electrocuted by his own defensive measure, along with all those fish...
00:40:48
Speaker
Oh, is that what happens? Yeah, okay but the Joker has damaged the circuitry i i guess maybe on purpose? Or maybe not?
00:40:58
Speaker
He doesn't know. There's a whole sequence of him being like, did he damage the circuitry on purpose? or was it just an accident? But also, like how could the circuitry protect him from electrocution underwater?
00:41:13
Speaker
i think Batman might just be dumb as shit.
00:41:18
Speaker
I mean, that is a common problem with Hush. Yeah. Hush and Twush. Yeah. So, Batman electrocutes himself, and gets saved by Talia al Ghul.
00:41:30
Speaker
And, look, we've read a bunch of comics about Batman and Talia al Ghul, and all of their history, and everything that they've done together. I'd say I've read more than the average person. Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:44
Speaker
How does Hush 2 summarize their relationship? I'll just read the caption boxes. Talia Ghul. Daughter of Ra's al Ghul.
00:41:55
Speaker
Daughter of the demon. she is the mother She is also the mother of Damian Wayne. My, our son. The relationship is complicated at best. And um that is where I said out loud reading this comic, fuck off.
00:42:08
Speaker
but Because like... like i mean It's not an inaccurate description, but it's like... It's it's Baby's first Batman comic.
00:42:23
Speaker
It's so... The thing is, you can you can definitely make Baby's first Batman comic and have it be good. Yeah. But this is Baby's first Batman comic, and it sucks, and it's bad.
00:42:36
Speaker
um The thing that got me was ah when... ah I fucking love that Hush has super doctor powers.
00:42:49
Speaker
And that, to be fair... He can throw knives very accurately. Scalpels. They're scalpels. He can throw scalpels so accurately that they will nick your major arteries, but not sever them, and so you'll bleed to death, but it'll take you a while.
00:43:06
Speaker
And... Like... again, to be entirely fair, Hush has had Super Doctor Powers since fucking day one, right? Like, we knew Hush had Super Doctor Powers.
00:43:17
Speaker
It's just very funny when they come back up. He removed Catwoman's heart that one time. He removed Catwoman's heart using apocalypse tech.
00:43:26
Speaker
Which, hey, yeah, where did Tommy Elliott Hush get a pocket? You know what? Never fucking mind. I'm not getting into Heart of Hush. But, like, Hush did also, like, cut his own face off and replace it with Bruce Wayne face.
00:43:40
Speaker
He did face surgery on himself. on himself He's back to the bandages now? Yeah, because that's his costume, Matt. because that's Yeah, because that's what he wears, I guess, yeah.
00:43:51
Speaker
That's his costume.
00:43:54
Speaker
because Because if he wasn't wearing it, Joker would be like, Bruce Wayne, why are you hitting me with scalpels? Why are you throwing scalpels at me and hitting all my major arteries? Yeah.
00:44:07
Speaker
ah But here's here's what I love, is when Batman finds out that it's Hush doing a twush, he says, only one man could or would do this.
00:44:21
Speaker
One man with the knowledge of who I am and what I believe in, who has the skills to execute what he sees as a game. Only one man. Hush. Motherfucker, you mentioned Ra's al Ghul in this comic.
00:44:34
Speaker
Yeah, and the Riddler was the villain of the last one of these stories. Yeah, but the Riddler doesn't remember that shit anymore. The Riddler is actually aware that um that these stories referenced in this story are from one, two, three versions of the DC Universe ago.
00:44:51
Speaker
That's hyper time, baby. Yeah. ah also hush for time. I gotta i gotta to give it the comic this. Also, Tommy Elliott Hush has apparently not read very many Batman comics, because the question that he thinks is relevant and pertinent to ask is, why doesn't Batman kill the Joker?
00:45:10
Speaker
in Interesting, interesting. You know what, hope we find out why Batman does not simply buy crime. Yeah.
00:45:22
Speaker
In this. Hey, can I ask one more question about this comic? you can I have one more thought, but i will please ask him the question. What the fuck is going on with those caption boxes, the Batman Thought caption boxes?
00:45:35
Speaker
Yeah, they look bad. They look terrible. like They're not just a gradient of blue to a lighter blue. They're like paper texture, think?
00:45:50
Speaker
There's some kind of texturing on them, and it makes it hard to read. Why did they do that? Like, Richard Starkings is doing the lettering here.
00:46:07
Speaker
Why did he do that?
00:46:11
Speaker
Great question. Great, great question. Yeah. I will say this. I've mellowed out in in my old age, Matt, because first of all, Hunch...
00:46:24
Speaker
was fucking 20 years ago. Hwunch sounds like some kind of weird variation of lunch. Hwunch. I should say.
00:46:35
Speaker
one one Not Hwunch. Hwunch. Hwunch. Hwunch? It's hard to say.
00:46:44
Speaker
It's hard to get your mouth around the events of of of original Hush. Yeah. The first part of the Hush trilogy.
00:46:55
Speaker
Don't, don't, don't. Don't bring that. Do you not think there's going to be one, Matt? I mean, of course there is. But maybe it'll take another... How long has it been? 17 years? 20 years, man.
00:47:08
Speaker
Long time. It's been a long-ass time. Like, almost 20 years. ah And this what I'll say. I've mellowed out. um I'm not the hater I once was. i I used to hate at an Olympic level.
00:47:23
Speaker
Now, I... i hate with the ah skill and aptitude of someone who engages in moderate regular exercise. Right, yeah. if If you were reading my Marvel Universe trading card, that's what it would say. I like Jim Lee's art in this.
00:47:40
Speaker
It's not bad. it's i mean, it looks the exact same as ri as is Hush 1, but yeah, I like i'm you know
00:47:48
Speaker
it.
00:47:50
Speaker
I don't know how I don't and really especially like that ah Batmobile design. No, the Batmobile design's bad. But it's fine. Yeah, it's good. I mean, it's very like...
00:48:05
Speaker
Like, the Joker is very... It looks like a comic from 25 years ago for all the good in all the good ways and all the bad ways.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah. You know? ah The thing I don't like about that Batmobile design is um why is the jet engine on the front of the car? Buddy, i I could not tell you.
00:48:29
Speaker
Is it for when he needs to like break really quick?
00:48:34
Speaker
ah Maybe. Weird. Weird stuff. like Why are the headlights trapezoids? It's just weird. It's a weird looking design. Also, I like how Batman's like, this this stuff on Joker's shoe indicates that he's at a circus.
00:48:48
Speaker
There's no circus in town. Must be an amusement park. it' like Those are different things. Those are different things, and you could have just said, he's at an amusement park.
00:49:00
Speaker
like Like, oh, where would Joker be if he wants me to find him? Probably at an amusement park. Yeah, he's probably going to be at that um same place from The Killing Joke. You've read The Killing Joke, right?
00:49:12
Speaker
Yeah. I love how everyone in this comic has read comics. ah Except Tommy Elliott, who is like, I have a pertinent question for you, Batman.
00:49:24
Speaker
I like how Tommy Elliott is like, hey, I know that you can't hear me right now, but I'm going to give you a whole out loud monologue, whispering, and it's going to be about why I'm whispering, and also throwing scalpels at you.
00:49:44
Speaker
Like it's an act. Yeah. but i But I will establish at the top of this scene that you can't hear me. So I don't... But I i just i like talking.
00:50:01
Speaker
This could have been narrative captions, Jeff.
00:50:06
Speaker
This could have been narrative captions. It could have been thought balloons. Thought bubbles. Yeah, have we even mentioned that Jeff Loeb is back writing? mean, I know that we do. Yeah, of course he is, man.
00:50:17
Speaker
It's hush. It's hush. No, it sucks. I'm going to read every issue of it. Yep. Exact same. ah Let's talk about a comic we do like, though. ah Absolute Martian Manhunter.
00:50:31
Speaker
which I think you were very correct to say is great like all the other Absolute books, but in a totally different way than those ah other Absolute books are great.
00:50:44
Speaker
Yeah, ah Absolute Batman, Absolute Superman, and Absolute Wonder Woman, I think, are very action-forward books. ah In a you know ah way that I like. I like action stories, as you know, Matt.
00:50:59
Speaker
hu I don't read these things to not see people fight.
00:51:04
Speaker
That's not what I'm about. ah But this one is much more psychological and much more introspective in many ways. And in a lot of ways, plays with the format of comics in ways that those other books don't.
00:51:24
Speaker
Yeah, it reminds me so much of Vertigo... Like, the pre-Vertigo,
00:51:36
Speaker
Vertigo books, like your Doom Patrols and so on. But then also, like, way, like, way very much of Vertigo books, particularly from the late 90s and early two thousand s Javier Rodriguez is the artist on this.
00:51:58
Speaker
ah Dennis Camp is the writer. ah But Javier Rodriguez's art is so reminiscent to me of that kind of art that was really popular in the late ninety s early that have but sort of have a 60s pop art throwback feel to them.
00:52:26
Speaker
Like, everything is very designed. And ah like that is such an appealing look to me.
00:52:39
Speaker
As far as I know, Javier Rodriguez is also doing the colors here. And this is an incredibly colorful comic as well. Where the colors are part of the story.
00:52:51
Speaker
And I love that. i i it It is visually stunning in so many ways. Yeah. Yeah. ah Yeah, art by Javier Rodriguez is listed here.
00:53:06
Speaker
um And Rodriguez is a ah Like a ah real favorite of both of us. Yeah. ah From various work. I mean, going back to oh working on like Robin Year One, um pretty I think he drew.
00:53:21
Speaker
and and And all those Defenders comics. All those Defenders comics, yeah. Yeah. ah Like he's someone that I'll follow regardless. ah Dennis Camp is someone that I'm pretty unfamiliar with.
00:53:34
Speaker
ah but is definitely telling a very compelling story in a very compelling way that, in its way, makes as much of a change to Martian Manhunter as like Absolute Batman did to Batman.
00:53:49
Speaker
um Well, yeah, I mean, it we're going to spoil it here, so if you haven't read the issue yet, skip ahead. This is a Jon Jones who doesn't know that he's the Martian Manhunter.
00:54:04
Speaker
ah somehow that memory has faded. And so he's having to be reminded of it. And there's this bit at the end where he receives a mirrored message for himself to remind himself of what it is.
00:54:22
Speaker
That if you read it physically, you have to hold up to a light to see... Like, that's so fucking cool, dude. Yeah. And ah what he tells himself is, we're the Martian mindfucker.
00:54:37
Speaker
Well, earlier... ah He lists all the things that he is, ah because it's like, mind hunt, kill, save, redeem, heal-er.
00:54:51
Speaker
So he's the Martian mind hunter, the Martian mind killer, the Martian mind saver, the Martian mind healer. And I love that. But it does look like he's saying we're the Martian mindfucker.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yeah. Which I think is fully on purpose because this comic is like John Jones is like real mindfuck for him today. Right. because Because he's he's only starting to realize that he can
00:55:19
Speaker
inhale thoughts. in Inhale other people's thoughts. And these other people's thoughts start showing up as like...
00:55:30
Speaker
visual depictions of smells in all different colors. And it looks so so cool. very ah It's so good. ah My question for you, Matt, is you think this is a John Johns Martian Manhunter who doesn't know that he's the Martian Manhunter?
00:55:53
Speaker
I mean, that that was my assumption. but like My question is, is it that or is he... a does is he some kind of gestalt like John Jones's body died and was merged with this telepathic creature that is the Martian Manhunter that is John Jones I mean you know like one thing that we've always said about these absolute books is that they kind of like remove something we think of as a key part of these characters right yeah
00:56:28
Speaker
So I'm willing to follow it wherever it goes with any kind of potential change in that in that sense. ah So we'll see we'll see what what what is revealed.
00:56:42
Speaker
yeah Very exciting and very but just a beautiful book. And fantastic lettering by Hassan as well. yeah it's the book This is a book with fantastic great, great, great lettering. Yeah.
00:56:57
Speaker
Yeah, Hasan Otamane El-Hao did the lettering on this and is
00:57:05
Speaker
one of the greats, man. There's a lot of – it's hard to tell what is Hasan's lettering and what is original to Rodriguez's art because there's a lot of text built into the art.
00:57:22
Speaker
yeah um But that's great. I love it. I think it looks so good.
00:57:29
Speaker
All right, Chris. Those are the only two comics we're talking about this week because we got to get into our new segment, One to Ten of Swords. Let's do it. but when i swing my swordres the ya chop boy That's right.
00:57:43
Speaker
Our new game for 2025 and beyond is called One to Ten of Swords. Now, the one and the ten are in Roman numerals so that this can be a reference to The comic book event, 10 or X of Swords. Yeah, we we should say that this idea came to us from our sword brother, Benito Serino, who initially pitched it as X slash X of Swords. 10 out of 10 of Swords, which is complicated.
00:58:20
Speaker
that is so better is ah That's a great one to say out loud and have text, but one or the other makes it difficult. So it is I to X of sorts.
00:58:32
Speaker
One to ten of sorts. yeah We are not ranking, we are rating.
00:58:40
Speaker
Correct. we This is a rating segment, not a ranking segment. Correct. what we're going to be doing, and what you should send us. Well, first, Matt, i want to say I want to establish some ground rules.
00:58:55
Speaker
All right. so that We are going to be raiding swords. You and I. I would say I more than you, but I'm not going to take it away from you.
00:59:08
Speaker
We are two people who think about swords a lot.
00:59:13
Speaker
We read a lot of stories and watch a lot of content that and that has swords in it. I think about swords every single minute of my life.
00:59:29
Speaker
And as we all know, some swords are better than other swords. We are going to be ranking swords, or a rating swords on a scale of I to X. Yes. ah ah We have not yet discussed if we're going to do like fractions. like are we going to like Can something be like a 7.5?
00:59:49
Speaker
Like decibel points, yeah. Not mat fractions. Not mat fractions. ah I think we will figure that out as we go.
01:00:00
Speaker
okay But my sense is, especially if we're doing Roman numerals, we're just going to do... integers We're just going to do ah the whole numbers okay with no in-between.
01:00:17
Speaker
But um if we if we get one where we just cannot say it's a 7 or an 8 and it's got to be a 7.5, then ah we we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
01:00:30
Speaker
Right. Now, we have a preference for... I would say for unique swords is what we're looking for. We're looking largely for unique named swords.
01:00:47
Speaker
Yes. However, there are some minor and slight exceptions to that, that I i do think I'm just going to throw out here and you can tell me, i think we'll agree on them.
01:01:01
Speaker
I think we'll absolutely agree on them. All right. ah A matched set of swords is a sword. Is one sword. Is one sword. Is one entry on the list.
01:01:12
Speaker
A daisho is a sword. All right. The Blades of Chaos is a sword. That is a matched set. They go together. You don't see one without the other.
01:01:25
Speaker
Now... Okay, so the Blades of Chaos we are calling swords. I would say the Blades of Chaos are short swords. Despite them not being held by the handles and being thrown around by chains.
01:01:39
Speaker
They're held by the handles. it Well, they're not used in the way that swords typically are, but alright, they are swords with handles. so well well We'll allow it.
01:01:50
Speaker
mean, look, maybe maybe it won't come up. We don't know. Maybe it won't come up. Because this this leads me to ah we what we want from listeners.
01:02:02
Speaker
um As we did with Thursday Night Raw, we want your submissions by email to warrocketpodcasts at gmail.com. And please only send them by email. Do not try to send them to me on Blue Sky or Discord or on Patreon because i need these to all be in one place so I can find them easily.
01:02:27
Speaker
So just email them to warrocketpodcast at gmail.com. And ah what I want you to do is send in your entry one sword or set of swords.
01:02:39
Speaker
Correct. ah Do not send a list of three or four. Do not send multiple choices. Send one sword that you would like to be rated. Yeah.
01:02:52
Speaker
And to to that end, when I say that a matched set of swords is a sword, matched set. Young Willow and Willow Branch are a sword.
01:03:05
Speaker
Twinkle and Icing Death are two swords.
01:03:11
Speaker
So if they're two swords used together, but that are very distinct from one another, they are two separate swords. If they are two swords used by the same person, but they are not matched, they can they they count as separate swords.
01:03:23
Speaker
Okay. There's going to be some wiggle room on that, and we understand that, but... Just like the Every Story Ever list, 80 issues can be a story, 8 pages can be a story.
01:03:36
Speaker
Yeah. Use your best judgment for what is either a single sword or a match set of swords. Yes. Here's the other thing that I want to throw out there, Matt. um We've talked about specific named swords, which brings up the question of what if it is a fairly unique category of sword?
01:04:02
Speaker
And I will i will explain. Okay.
01:04:06
Speaker
Lightsaber is a sword. Right. But I'm not out here trying to rank Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber, Mace Windu's lightsaber. That's the same fucking sword.
01:04:19
Speaker
But the ah Darth Maul's lightsaber and Kylo Ren's lightsaber are different. They are different, yes.
01:04:27
Speaker
Okay. Okay. I see what you're doing. You get what saying. Yes. Yes. So, would you accept ranking lightsaber as sword?
01:04:38
Speaker
Yes. Okay. i would I would also rank, like, say, Dungeons & Dragons short sword. Starter sword.
01:04:49
Speaker
Right? like i twitter That's too broad a category. but the But I'm just talking about like the generic short sword. None of the named or special or magic ones.
01:05:00
Speaker
You know what saying? If people aren't sending us the named or special or magic ones... Sure. I i feel i just feel like lightsaber is going to be an immediate submission.
01:05:12
Speaker
Yeah. ah i I know that people are going to be looking for swords that are bad. And a lot of those are going to be more of the standard issue generic swords.
01:05:26
Speaker
ah I would also say, at least for now, let's rank just one sword used by a particular character. so Okay, so that's going to be a problem, though.
01:05:40
Speaker
Well, unless ah unless they use two swords at the same time. Well, Matt, you're telling me that I can only pick one sword from Castlevania Symphony the Night?
01:05:56
Speaker
I mean, what I was thinking of was like Final Fantasy VII, where I kind of want to only rank the Buster Sword and not a bunch of other of Cloud's swords.
01:06:06
Speaker
Right. I get that. like But... Alright. i'll I'll allow some wiggle room on that. I will also say, we are not ranking things based on stats.
01:06:21
Speaker
This is more of an aesthetic vibes... this These are all vibes-based ratings, yeah. Yes. but not Not, what's the most powerful sword?
01:06:33
Speaker
Which, ironically, a vibroblade from Star Wars would not rank well.
01:06:39
Speaker
So, if you were planning to submit one, note that. ah So, I think that's all the ground rules that I have.
01:06:51
Speaker
ah you can Look, you can use historical swords, if they are specific swords. You're joyous. ah You can use legendary swords. I will say, if you are submitting, for instance, Excalibur, maybe specify which Excalibur. Because I feel like we could definitely go...
01:07:13
Speaker
like that There's multiple versions of that that are distinct enough to get past. By the same token, if you're going to submit Masamune, you've got to specify which Masamune, because there are a lot of different Masamunes and a lot of different things.
01:07:32
Speaker
Yeah, you've got to say, it's I want that big one that Sephiroth got. Yeah, yeah. Or the from Chrono Trigger. Uh, like it's, you gotta be specific about if, if there are many different versions of a legendary named sword, uh, we gotta know.
01:07:56
Speaker
Um, same goes for a sword that is like in a bunch of different games in a particular series So if you're submitting the Moonlight Blade from the various FromSoft games, you've got to say which game you're talking about.
01:08:22
Speaker
Okay? Yes. Great. The Moonlight Greatsword is what it's often called in many games, but I think it's got slightly different names in different games.
01:08:34
Speaker
in different games um Okay. So here's what we're going to do tonight. We want you to send in your submissions now. i Let me state clearly, I'm rescinding my thing about one sword per character. We don't have to do that.
01:08:52
Speaker
um But stick to maybe the sword that that character is best associated with or your favorite. ah Don't submit...
01:09:03
Speaker
Every available sword in Final Fantasy VIII, please. Okay. Oh, shit, man. I hadn't even thought about it. Those swords are also guns. That's cool as shit. The gunblade? Yeah, boy. Yeah, man. Gunblades are divisive, but nonetheless.
01:09:18
Speaker
um Is it divisive because they'll cut your ass in half because they kick ass?
01:09:24
Speaker
So here's what we're going to do tonight. ah Before people start submitting things for this, we're going to set a baseline. So Chris and I have each come to this with a sword that we think is going to rank highly.
01:09:41
Speaker
And I think we've each come with a sword that we think is going to rank low. A top chopper and a bottom chopper. A top chopper and a bottom chopper. Now, I have some difficulty, until you mentioned vibroblades, Chris, I've had some difficulty actually thinking of...
01:10:02
Speaker
a bad sword, even though I know there are some.
01:10:06
Speaker
um So I'm interested what people are going to come up with when they think of bad swords. I did manage to come up with one here, but I had far greater difficulty doing that than I did coming up with a good sword. Oh yeah, thinking of a cool sword was easy. yeah Thinking of a cool sword was ah that was breathing for me. It's like breathing to me.
01:10:29
Speaker
ah But i did I did come up with a ah a ah bad one as well. Do you want to start at the top or start at the bottom? Maybe let's start at the bottom.
01:10:40
Speaker
Okay. And work our way up. Then, Matt, I invite you. Because, okay, I have a spreadsheet. And this is the information I would like everyone to include. ah If you would like to include an image of the sword, that would be great.
01:10:54
Speaker
But we need the name, the source, and then we will provide a rating and any additional notes.
01:11:01
Speaker
I did share this spreadsheet with you, Matt. Okay. i I have it. I do have it. I have it open. Okay. So what are we what are we looking at? What is your bottom chopper? You used a sword font.
01:11:12
Speaker
Did you use a sword font? Yeah. Great. All right. So I'm actually coming ah coming in with two bottom choppers. Really? Okay. Yes, because i i did some research, and I was like, oh, that one's good. And then i found another one, where i was like, oh, this one I personally think sucks.
01:11:30
Speaker
Okay. but But i the first one I have is specifically aimed at you. Okay. Okay.
01:11:38
Speaker
So my my first bottom chopper is the Z-Sword. The Z-Sword? The Z-Sword from Dragon Ball.
01:11:50
Speaker
Uh, Matt. Uh-huh? Do you know that I have a replica of the Z-Sword in front of me on my desk right now, right? Do you? Because the Z-Sword broke.
01:12:01
Speaker
Oh, no. The Z-Sword. Sorry, i thought you talking about Crunk's sword. No, I'm talking about the sword that Gohan yes ah tries trains with, and then tries to use against Majin Buu, and then immediately breaks.
01:12:19
Speaker
It immediately breaks, yes. yeah And it's supposed to be a like it's a comedy moment, because it's supposed to be like a really cool sword. it's Gohan spends a long time training with it. Now, Trunks also uses the Z-Sword.
01:12:36
Speaker
At one point. But I don't know if that's the same sword. ah this it's The Z-Sword is not the sword that ah he used to cut Frieza the fucking half.
01:12:47
Speaker
Okay, that's a different sword. yeah But in Trunks' timeline, for whatever reason... It didn't get broken. The Z-Sword didn't break immediately, like it did when when Gohan grabbed it. Okay, yeah. but few Trunks has a sword that is not named.
01:13:06
Speaker
Yeah. There's a lot of questions about where Trunks got that sword. ah But I think that's the the one he uses to cut Frieza in half. The the unnamed sword. That's the sword I have a replica of on my desk.
01:13:17
Speaker
Yeah. The sword I'm talking about is the sword that Gohan breaks the minute he tries to fight Majin Buu with Doesn't even try to fight Majin Buu.
01:13:30
Speaker
Just breaks in the fucking realm of the Kais. Yeah, yeah, yeah. man, yeah, look, that sword kind of sucks. that That sword is for a punchline.
01:13:43
Speaker
And, like, it's... So it's... A, it's an intentionally bad sword, but also, I think we can agree that it's a little bit frustrating that ah we didn't get to see Gohan use a fucking sword.
01:14:03
Speaker
I think... That was Toriyama
01:14:10
Speaker
saying, this ain't a sword comic. You think he was like, hey, fuck Bleach. i think he i think he was saying, i like i look, I'm sure he gets letters from fans, or he got letters from fans a lot.
01:14:28
Speaker
And they were like, why doesn't Goku use a weapon? why Why don't any of the heroes use swords? And this was his way of saying, no, this is a comic where people punch each other.
01:14:41
Speaker
i I honestly do really quite like the idea of this ain't a sword comic. Yeah.
01:14:51
Speaker
Yeah, man, Kenshiro didn't use a fucking sword either. You know? No. oh ah Yeah, I i mean, the Z-Sword does look good. It's a cool-looking sword, but it's a very also like...
01:15:06
Speaker
It looks cool in the way that a sword looks cool. You know? it's It's weirdly out of place in Dragon Ball. Yeah. it's It looks like a sword from Dragon Quest that then got put in Dragon Ball.
01:15:24
Speaker
Man, imagine that. Akira Toriyama designing a sword that looked like it was in Dragon Quest. I know. But like, but yeah do you know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't mean for that to be a pun. Um,
01:15:36
Speaker
But like, you know what I mean? Like, Dragon Ball, despite it kind of taking place in a sort of nondescript part of Earth, is a very Japanese show.
01:15:52
Speaker
our Very Japanese manga. And that sword is very Western.
01:16:00
Speaker
It's very D&D-esque. ah d and d like ah medieval European fantasy. I don't know, man.
01:16:13
Speaker
It immediately breaks. It immediately breaks. is is that Is that a 1 out of 10? I'm asking you. I like i don't know. i i I'm not as familiar with the story as you are.
01:16:31
Speaker
um I just saw... You know the whole story of the Z-Sword. It fucking breaks immediately. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But after like a bunch of build-up and training, yeah. Yeah. ah
01:16:45
Speaker
I'm going to say, I don't want to... It's certainly... Well, it is kind of the worst sword. I was going to say I wanted to have some room for us to move down. But I mean... it's right breaks and it's a pretty bad sword. It breaks immediately.
01:17:04
Speaker
I'm going to say two out of ten. All right. I'm willing to go with two out of ten. Okay. Should we do the ratings in Roman numerals? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
01:17:16
Speaker
That's the gimmick. Yeah. Got it. Got it. ah And then in the notes, we're just gonna buy I think we're just going to breaks immediately. Yeah. ah matt Let's see. This is Matt's first bottom chopper pick.
01:17:34
Speaker
Oh, I should also put what episode this is.
01:17:38
Speaker
I have no idea. I like no i mean the episode of our show. Oh, yes. case people want to hear the discussion. Apparently it's it debut they debuted in the anime in the episode Learn to Fuse.
01:17:53
Speaker
Yeah, man, that sword sucks so bad that they had to learn how to do fusion. Uh-huh. So yeah, the Z-Sword gets a gets a solid eye i out of out of x Okay.
01:18:08
Speaker
Do you want to give me your your next bottom chopper, or do you want me to turn it in mind? Well, okay, you give yours, and then I'll give my other one ah before we move on to top choppers.
01:18:20
Speaker
Okay. My bottom chopper is one that I think is a prime example of a bad sword.
01:18:32
Speaker
Okay. The Batleth.
01:18:37
Speaker
That's fascinating. the I mean, what what do you think what do you think is especially bad about it? The design? Just the design in general?
01:18:47
Speaker
The design of it. It's like, it is it is a it is impossible to use in any, like... You always see him fighting by like holding... if you don't know what the Batlet is, it's the Klingon sword ah introduced in Star Trek The Next Generation.
01:19:04
Speaker
Worf is apparently very good at using it. But it is ah it is curved and has just points everywhere on one side. yeah And then the other side has three places to grip.
01:19:19
Speaker
right Including the center, which you is nothing. Like... The only way to effectively use a Bethleh, and you do see this and in Star Trek, is to just hold it by one of the the grips and like swing it like a like an axe.
01:19:38
Speaker
Yeah. it's I mean, I guess by all technical definitions, it is a sword despite it not being shaped like a sword.
01:19:52
Speaker
it is It's certainly spiritually a sword. It's spiritually a sword, yeah. What the Metleth reeks of is something the prop department made, and then the actors had to figure out how to make it work.
01:20:10
Speaker
Yeah, no, it... Aesthetically, it looks like some weird Klingon shit. It doesn't look like an earth sword.
01:20:22
Speaker
It doesn't look like an earth sword. Yeah. ah Which, it makes sense, because it's impossible to use. Michael Thorne, to his credit, figured out a way to kind of, like, hold it and move around with it in a way that looked natural. Yeah.
01:20:45
Speaker
But it it does not seem like it would be terribly effective in battle, no. Yeah. ah Whereas they also have the Mecleth, which is just like a Shotei.
01:20:56
Speaker
Right, yeah. ah I would much rather go into battle with one of those than with a Batleth, yeah. Yeah, it's a Batleth seems like you you cannot use it.
01:21:13
Speaker
it it seems like you cannot use it.
01:21:18
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Uh, like that's, like, that's my whole thing is like, again, Michael Dorn actually does do a pretty good job. Like when we see him, ah particularly in deep space nine, and like using this thing, but like, it's like, first of all, it's flat.
01:21:34
Speaker
It's like a sheet of metal. So trying to use it by holding it with two hands is just like, it's floppy. Like it's, you can't like, there's no, it's bad. It's a bad sword. It's, it's also convex.
01:21:50
Speaker
Instead of concave. Or no, other way around. It's concave instead of convex. yeah So like, even if you were to hold it with one hand and then just kind of swing it around, the blade is going in instead of curving out like you would want a sword to do.
01:22:11
Speaker
Yeah. Like, it's... you It is difficult to swing without injuring yourself. Yeah. Yeah. um I still think it's better than... okay so we gave we gave the Z-Sword a 2.
01:22:29
Speaker
I would probably give the Batleth a 3 just for looking cool. Yeah, is it worse to... Is it worse to be a sword that you can't use because it breaks immediately?
01:22:44
Speaker
Or a sword that you can't use... Because it is, even without being broken, it is impossible to use. It's poorly designed, yeah. like Usability, I think it's a wash.
01:22:57
Speaker
But I do think a Batleth at least looks cool. it it does The aesthetics of it, it's it's not generic. you know yeah so so you're going to say, I agree with three.
01:23:10
Speaker
Three. We're going to give that a three. Alright, here's my other bottom shooter. and herb Sorry, bottom chopper. um No shooting here.
01:23:22
Speaker
We ain't shooting here. Chopping only. To me, these this is ah this is a matched set of swords. Okay. And to me, these are the very definition of trying too hard.
01:23:36
Speaker
Trying way too hard to be cool swords.
01:23:41
Speaker
These are Deathstroke's God Killers. Alright. ah Created by Tony Daniel and first appeared in Deathstroke Volume 3, Number 7 from August 2015.
01:23:55
Speaker
ah They are swords supposedly forged by the Greek god Hephaestus. um And they're semi-sentient blades.
01:24:09
Speaker
Um. And they're kind of like bronze in color. And they're all jagged and weirdly shaped.
01:24:21
Speaker
Uh-huh. And it's just like doing way too much to try to be a cool sword.
01:24:30
Speaker
I mean, i have not read this story.
01:24:35
Speaker
I think they do look kind of cool. therere There's a lot of design them. Yeah. they're like They're busy. They're busy.
01:24:48
Speaker
i don't know. To me, they reek of trying too hard. But I can understand why one might disagree. i've i've seen I've seen more try-hard swords than this.
01:25:01
Speaker
Sure. I have seen swords that have tried harder.
01:25:09
Speaker
But I'm like...
01:25:12
Speaker
um don't know, man. don't know. like Deathstroke already has swords. So giving him like some magic swords is like that i mean that's an acceptable story, i think.
01:25:27
Speaker
it's i'm not say i'm not I'm not saying anything about the story. yeah i I'm reasoning my way through the sword. Yeah. it's It's weird to me.
01:25:41
Speaker
Isn't Wonder Woman's sword also called the godkiller? Don't know. Okay. Alright.
01:25:52
Speaker
i Yeah, like, I don't love him, but I don't hate them ah him. Wonder Woman does have a sword called the godkiller. Yes, she does. And so this is like, now but I have two godkillers.
01:26:07
Speaker
Well, it seems like maybe just one of these is the godkiller. The one in the foreground of this cover that I sent you. ah hu I thought it was both swords, but I guess it's just the one sword.
01:26:19
Speaker
And the other sword is just kind of like another sword that he has that is also very designed. ah But the one in the front that is more designed and has that bit of blade that comes down as like handguard.
01:26:35
Speaker
like a handguard That's the god killer. Like mechleth. Yeah. yeah
01:26:44
Speaker
So, apologies for saying it was a set of matched swords. Apparently it's just the one sword.
01:26:51
Speaker
but this isn't But this isn't Wonder Woman's sword. It is not Wonder Woman's sword. This is different sword, also called the god killer. That's pretty whack, honestly.
01:27:01
Speaker
Yeah. I would like, Matt, while I'm pondering this, could you real quick describe the image I have put in spreadsheet of the Batleth? Sure. the
01:27:16
Speaker
it's ah It's a guy who's not a Klingon, ah who has wrapped his arm around the Batleth, like underneath it So that he can hold one of the grips on the end.
01:27:36
Speaker
It's a very awkward looking pose. He's kind of like cradling it. He's kind of, greatt yeah, he is kind of kind of doing that. My favorite thing about it is this. um it's It's tough to pull off a Batleth and jeans.
01:27:58
Speaker
It's a little bit incongruous. oh Yeah. Man, I don't know. I don't...
01:28:06
Speaker
I don't hate it. I don't hate it. The god killer, you mean? ah Apparently, Crackles with Eldritch Energy, which is pretty cool. Yeah. and And can shapeshift.
01:28:20
Speaker
ah Some forms it can take on its own are a bo staff, twin blades, and a cat of nine tails. So this it can be two it's a sword that can be two swords. It's trying so hard to be cool.
01:28:34
Speaker
It's sword that wants you to like it so bad. I mean, but i feel like now we're really getting into a potential problem with this, which is that, Matt, I i like swords.
01:28:50
Speaker
I like swords as well. to like it the The work is done, bud. i I'm just saying there's a level of... Look, I like music.
01:29:01
Speaker
But I can tell when music wants me to like it too much. What was
Cultural Commentary and Music Discussion
01:29:05
Speaker
it? Were we talking about Vanessa Carlson's One Thousand Miles and you were like, that song sounds like a senior thesis?
01:29:14
Speaker
Did I say that? I think so. It was when we were in a ah we were at that Wizard World with Hot Penguin.
01:29:25
Speaker
Damn, I don't remember saying that. that i ah I don't disagree with myself, though. it It was brutal. It was like on the radio, and I was like, hey, I kind of like i dig this this track.
01:29:39
Speaker
but It's not a bad song, but it is absolutely like... it's it's not a bad song but it is absolutely like a song that a music major wrote to impress a music professor for sure. yeah ah
01:29:55
Speaker
where where Where are you thinking? I will follow your lead.
01:30:00
Speaker
I mean, i think for ratding I think maybe we should split the difference.
01:30:07
Speaker
Because I was thinking this is like real low. But if you kind of like it, I'm willing to give it like a four or a five. I mean...
01:30:18
Speaker
I don't feel like it's right for Deathstroke the Terminator. I think that's part of it, too. Yeah. It's like, oh, what can we do for Deathstroke?
01:30:29
Speaker
Let's give him a cool sword, a cool magic sword. And then this is what he gets when, like, katanas were fine. like Yeah.
01:30:41
Speaker
He looks right with katanas. He does not look right with this thing. I'm reading it its capabilities. And it does so it it does have the ring of special wizard armor, you know? It does have the ring of, like, you're playing a game with a child.
01:30:58
Speaker
Yeah. Actually, my sword can be two swords, and also it can absorb and redirect whatever force is unleashed, but double it. Yeah. And also, it can repair itself if it's broken.
01:31:10
Speaker
And also, it can transfer god memories to the wielder.
01:31:19
Speaker
And also, like there's there's it's you know it's a lot. It's a lot. It's it's trying so hard. Swords are very simple. At the end of the day, a sword is just a butcher knife. you know Exactly. exactly like Why is a sword that can do a million things and be all-powerful?
01:31:40
Speaker
In a storytelling sense, that is not better than something that just chops good. Yeah. Agreed. ah You I'm saying? ah So you're like is he so if look if i'm if I'm going from the gut, this sucker is a two.
01:31:59
Speaker
if It can be a two. If you kind of like it, I could i could make it a three or four. It can be a two. Okay. Okay.
01:32:12
Speaker
ah So Deathstroke's Godkiller from 2015 is...
01:32:17
Speaker
2 out of 10. Yeah. i don't I don't think it's a 1. Surely there's worse words out there. ah we're we're we're We're still on the hunt for our 1. Nothing has achieved a 1 yet.
01:32:29
Speaker
Yeah. yeah um Alright, so so we're going to we're we're moving on to Top Choppers. ah Yeah, and I would like you to go first, because I have a stone-cold fucking number 1 with a bullet.
01:32:41
Speaker
Okay. i I feel like our Top Choppers are
01:32:47
Speaker
You could guess them. i feel like I feel like anyone could them. If you guess mine, you're wrong. Oh, okay. Well, i mine is one you could easily guess being the one I chose. ah Because mine's a fucking Dragon Slayer from Berserk.
01:33:04
Speaker
Okay, Matt, here's the problem.
01:33:09
Speaker
Dragon Slayer. yeah Look, I like it. I have a replica of it sitting next to me.
01:33:16
Speaker
you and You know I like it. Yeah. But is it even really a sword? Or more a slab of iron? It's more a slab of raw iron. But... ah Guts wields it as a sword.
01:33:32
Speaker
And... Goddamn. Like... I'm saying this as a guy who, like... If I'm playing a video game... And I get to choose what kind of weapon...
01:33:45
Speaker
my character uses. I almost never have my character use broadswords. They're just slow and big and bulky,
01:33:59
Speaker
and i tend to prefer to play as a character who utilizes their speed in combat. I also like a faster character, generally speaking.
01:34:14
Speaker
Like... but if i'm if i'm If I'm driven to choose, i will always go for the character who is less likely to use a broadsword and more likely to use like like a katana or a rapier or some kind of smaller, faster weapon.
01:34:31
Speaker
But the Dragonslayer is so good that I'll be... i Now, if I'm playing fucking Elden Ring or...
01:34:45
Speaker
Dark Souls or whatever, I'll be like, give me that sword that I know you designed to look like the Dragon Slayer, because Hidetaka Miyazaki is a berserk freak like me.
01:35:00
Speaker
We've talked about it. We've talked about that moment where Guts... That scene where he sees it for the first time so fucking funny. Unbelievable.
01:35:12
Speaker
That monster is attacking Godo the Blacksmith's house.
01:35:18
Speaker
And his the sword he's been using breaks.
01:35:24
Speaker
And he doesn't know what to do. andd he just looks over. And there's the dragon slayer. I just like how Godo the Blacksmith made it as a joke. Like, as a bit.
01:35:37
Speaker
And then here comes fucking Guts. Yeah. like And he's like, damn, my problem was i could was my swords weren't big enough. the The one major downside of the Dragonslayer, for sure, is that there might be one guy who can use it.
01:35:59
Speaker
Yeah, it does it it does seem like it would weigh like 400 pounds. Like, outside of Guts... I don't know how many people could even pick it up.
01:36:15
Speaker
Yeah, you got like... Look, I brought up that it's it's barely even a sword, more a slap of raw iron. yeah um cause like Because I wanted to talk myself out.
01:36:27
Speaker
like I wanted to give us at least some kind of credibility in writing this. ah But I mean, it... It rules. It's fucking huge.
01:36:40
Speaker
It is exactly... like this It's the opposite. like This makes so much sense that you picked the fucking Deathstroke swords. Because the Deathstroke swords do so much and have like a million superpowers.
01:36:53
Speaker
Dragon Slayer does one thing. it's It's big. Guts swings it and people get cut in half. Yeah.
01:37:04
Speaker
it's That's what it does. It's a big fucking sword. ah But here's the thing. Here's the other thing for it. um it It does do that one thing, and it does it very well.
01:37:18
Speaker
But honestly, Kentaro Mura has come up with a shocking number of uses for a giant sword over the course of some hundreds numbers of chapters of Berserk.
01:37:35
Speaker
like Like, I guess this was the sword before the Dragon Slayer, which was also gigantic. But that bit where um they're breaking
01:37:51
Speaker
they're ba breaking Griffith out of the the prison that he's in. And the prison guard closes the door and he's like, oh, I closed the door and locked it. I closed the door and locked it. You can't get out. You're stuck.
01:38:05
Speaker
You're stuck in there. And then Cutts just smashes his sword through that fucking door and knocks that dude off but the platform into the abyss below.
01:38:18
Speaker
butddy my god. Buddy, it's he' to a man with a hammer. Yeah. You know? Yeah, man. Yeah, man. oh my I like that the Dragon Slayer is, like, so big.
01:38:34
Speaker
You know how like, you'll be playing a video game and you'll press, like, the block button and your character will, like, assume a block stance and then, like, in, like, a Street Fighter or something, like... you know whatever hits them is just blocked.
01:38:47
Speaker
right ah Even though, like and realistically, like if you're just like you know doing a block and someone fucking shoots a fireball at you, it would probably hurt real bad.
01:38:58
Speaker
Guts is the character that like that makes sense with. Because when he blocks, he has like a two-foot-wide piece of iron that he can stand behind. Yeah, it's a sword and a shield.
01:39:11
Speaker
Yeah. Mostly sword and a shield. Mostly a sword, yeah. ah He rarely uses it as a shield. it is It is elegant in its simplicity.
01:39:24
Speaker
It really is, man. And again, like the vast number of uses that Kintaro Mura managed to come up with for this absolute
01:39:38
Speaker
absolute unit of a sword... You just sent me the the panel of Guts riding on the back of Nosferatu Zad as they they fly to fight Ganishka. Yeah, the most metal shit that's ever happened.
01:39:57
Speaker
Ooh. Ooh. That one story in Berserk where ah both Guts and his crew and... ah Griffith and his crew were like, oh, this guy sucks.
01:40:13
Speaker
and Take him down together.
01:40:17
Speaker
So are we saying ah we say it officially 10 out of 10? It's pretty fucking good. i i would I would be okay with it being a 9 because I can see i can see some criticisms of it.
01:40:34
Speaker
But if it's up to me 10, yeah. If it's up to me 10, yeah. it's up to me tim yeah
01:40:40
Speaker
But i don't know if we want to I don't know if we want to top out from the start. but I mean, this is a sword of which you own a replica. Oh, yeah. That I purchased for you.
01:40:52
Speaker
That's right. So it's like... In a prominent position in my office. Yeah.
01:41:00
Speaker
Because I'm just going to tell you straight up, favorite sword.
01:41:06
Speaker
It's a good one. Yeah.
01:41:11
Speaker
But, you look, you're not going to hear argument from me that the Dragon Slayer is a good sword. I'm willing to go 9 or 10. Whichever you think.
01:41:21
Speaker
Well, here's the great thing about this list. Multiple things can be 10s. That's true. we don't We don't have to have only one top chopper. I think the Dragon Slayer is our first X of Swords.
01:41:33
Speaker
Okay. We did it. We did it. Now we're looking for a 1.
01:41:41
Speaker
We are looking for a one. i mean, i look, I'll take as many tens as you want to give me. That's true. I'm afraid this is going to motivate a lot of people to just send us shitty swords.
01:41:52
Speaker
So...
01:41:56
Speaker
Send us some good ones, too. Okay?
01:42:01
Speaker
Alright, what's your top chopper, Chris? Matt, you think, you fool...
01:42:09
Speaker
Do you think that I'm going sit here and I'm going to start talking about the Flame of the West? I really did. i really did. Yeah. and And when it comes up, it's going to get ranked.
01:42:21
Speaker
It's going to get rated. It's going to go high. Because that's a good sword. That's the Sword of Elendil. Now, heres here's my question, Matt. Would we rank Narsil and... We would have to rank Narsil and Andaril as two separate swords.
01:42:34
Speaker
Yeah, they're two different swords. Yeah, okay. Um... But youre you're thinking that's what I'm going to pull because that's the sword that I probably talk about the most. That is not the perfect sword.
01:42:48
Speaker
I'll tell you what is the perfect sword.
01:42:52
Speaker
That's the sword of evil's bane, baby. o That's the master sword. oh Now. Now. we We talked about these distinctions.
01:43:08
Speaker
earlier, is this a specific Master Sword from a specific Zelda game? Because different Master Swords in different games have slightly different designs.
01:43:24
Speaker
They do. i personally have ah images of at least 15 different designs of the Master Sword.
01:43:37
Speaker
ah Including box art swords, including the specific one from the Shatari Ishinomori comic that has the black handle and a slightly wider blade that looks ah cool as shit.
01:43:50
Speaker
I do think the if you're looking for one to look up and say this to me, the definitive Mr. Sword...
01:44:02
Speaker
is the i think the design from Twilight Princess, which is essentially the same design as Breath of the Wild. Right. they They have sort of kind of solidified the design of the Master Sword over the past few games.
01:44:25
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, you know, the cel-shaded, cartoonier ones are a little... a little different But I think, you know, the design that you see in, ah which really goes back to to Link to the Past, is kind of where the first, you know, narrow part of the blade that widens and the sort of, you know that shape of the cross guard.
01:44:51
Speaker
oh But yeah, if you're if you're looking for the visual. With the kind of wings on it. Yeah. Yeah. love those fucking wings. ah I think that the the the Breath of the Wild Master Sword is the the one.
01:45:10
Speaker
Which is also the Tears the Kingdom and Master Sword. So if you want to say the Master Sword that was in Zelda's head for 10,000 years... Now, the the Tears of the Kingdom Master Sword is slightly different in that it glows.
01:45:25
Speaker
Well, Matt, if you played the DLC of Breath of the Wild, you would know that... ah you can get the breath of the Wild Master Sword also glow. True. Yeah, i love I love a glowing sword.
01:45:41
Speaker
It's a little different, but I think we can call them essentially the same. Yeah. ah The Master Sword is the perfect sword.
01:45:51
Speaker
it is It is both in design and also lore. like lo the best sword.
01:46:04
Speaker
Let me ask you this question. Yes. Because, ah you know, we talked about, like, this is going to be vibes, this is not going to be stats, and so on and so forth. However, functionally,
01:46:20
Speaker
the downside of the Master Sword in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom is that it has a charge that runs out, and then you have to wait for it to recharge.
01:46:34
Speaker
Do you think that detracts any from it? This MF didn't play the Master Quests.
01:46:44
Speaker
Again, Matt, you play that DLC, you get the permanent Master Sword. Yeah. But, like, also...
01:46:54
Speaker
Again, that is more on the game stats side of things sure than vibes, the aesthetic, and the lore side of things.
01:47:09
Speaker
It is part of the
01:47:13
Speaker
core gameplay of Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, where all the other so weapons just break very quickly. And the gimmick of those games, one of the gimmicks of those games is like, you gotta to find new weapons, you gotta improvise, you gotta make do with what you have.
01:47:36
Speaker
And so, giving the Master Sword a limitation helps keep that vibe going. yeah So, they didn't want to make it overpowered, and I get that.
01:47:52
Speaker
i I really like that it is a sword that
01:48:01
Speaker
incorporates game stuff into its lore. Like, it is the, you know, it's the it's the fucking last one that you get. i mean, except Link to the Past, where you can get it tempered by those blacksmiths. But, like, yeah it is It's a sword that's waiting for you.
01:48:21
Speaker
Well, it's a sword that's waiting for Link. Because it's Link's sword. And I love the name The Master Sword, because it's like, all other swords are imitating. It's the god of swords.
01:48:38
Speaker
Right, yeah. Yeah. If god was a sword, it would be this sword.
01:48:46
Speaker
I sort of like, I mean, for the same reasons that I thought that the god killer was a try-hard sword.
01:48:56
Speaker
because it does too much. I do, I do actually ultimately appreciate that the master sword is not like
01:49:07
Speaker
game breaking in being too good, you know? Well, I think that's also reflected in the aesthetics. Like it's, there's distinct bits to it. Like the, the blade that,
01:49:22
Speaker
that starts narrow near the crossguard, and the fact that the crossguard is like wings. But it's just enough – it's not enough to make it not the platonic ideal of a sword.
01:49:34
Speaker
yeah you know If you picture a sword, that's it. and Yeah, it's it's it is it is it is a pretty and functional sword at the same time.
01:49:47
Speaker
Yes. I love it. I love the Master Sword. Yeah, it's pretty great. it's It's one of the best pieces of design that the Nintendo Corporation has ever produced, which is, I think, saying something.
01:50:02
Speaker
I would agree, yeah. oh
Podcast Promotion and Conclusion
01:50:06
Speaker
And it's a like it's it's a bastard sword. so you know it is a It's a ah one-handed or two-handed sword. It's a long sword that you can use in two hands.
01:50:16
Speaker
ah It
01:50:19
Speaker
It's in in the way that, like, we talked about Batman's real clothes earlier. And one of the things, maybe, like, the only thing I didn't like about Breath of the Wild, the perfect video game, ah is that you have to do everything in that game to get Link's real clothes.
01:50:42
Speaker
Yeah. And so it kind of changes what Link's real clothes are, because now, kind of that blue shirt is kind of Link's real clothes for me, because I spent more time with that Link than any other Link.
01:50:53
Speaker
Right, and by the time you can finally get Link's green hood and jerkin, yeah ah you've played all the entire game.
01:51:07
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah oh But I think what helps is that Link's real clothes aren't Link's real clothes. Link's real clothes the Master Sword.
01:51:19
Speaker
And the Highland Shield. Yeah. Like, take away everything else. You give me you give me a twink with those things? That's Link.
01:51:30
Speaker
That's my boy. Yeah.
01:51:35
Speaker
ah But yeah, I love i love the ah fucking Master Sword, dude. all right Perfect sword. 10 out of 10. Two Top Choppers, two 10s.
01:51:47
Speaker
ah God help me if we had to determine which one was better. A Heavy and a Light, which I like. yeah
01:51:56
Speaker
ah And and that kicks it off that kicks us off. That kicks off 1 to 10 of Swords. Send... the the sword you wish to be rated warrocketpodcast at gmail.com.
01:52:12
Speaker
You can also email us there if you want to ask a listener question or drop a line about something else like potentially sponsoring the show, which you should do. Our website is warrocketajax.com. It is every episode of the show we've ever done.
01:52:32
Speaker
Go there for all of those. ah Follow us on Blue Sky. We're warrocketajx.com there. On Tumblr, we're warrocketpodcast.tumblr.com.
01:52:43
Speaker
Join our Discord. Ask us for an invitation to join at any of the places I just mentioned, and we will send you an invitation, and you can join over there and be part of that community. WarRocketWiki.com is the fan-run repository of all the information you could ever want or need about this show, WarRocket Ajax, so go there.
01:53:00
Speaker
If you want to find me and my stuff, go to mattdwilson.net. That has links to my comics, my books, my other podcasts, and my social medias. Chris, where can people find you? Everybody can find me by going to the-isb.com. That is my website. It has links to the various things that I do ah around the the internet. You can also find me on... ah on BlueSky as the ISB.beesky.social, where I am often talking about swords and always thinking about swords.
01:53:30
Speaker
Matt, I'm so excited to talk to you for hours about swords. It's going to be a blast. ah Whether they like it or not, we're going to have fun doing it.
01:53:46
Speaker
ah Until next week, everybody. and Until next week, everybody, do not forget Black Lives Matter. Trans rights are human rights. As are abortion rights. Drag is not a crime.
01:53:57
Speaker
Diversity is not the problem, and cops aren't your friends. But we love you. We love you. Yeah!