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Episode 719 - En Garde!
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It's time to start ranking your sword submissions for I to X of Swords this week, and though things get off to a rocky start, we do find a groove after a bit.
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Transcript
Introduction & Hosts Intro
00:00:00
Speaker
This show is recorded using Zencaster. If you are a podcaster or you want to be a podcaster and you want to be able to record remotely, you can do so using Zencaster.
00:00:12
Speaker
They also have hosting options and you can let them know that we sent you. Follow the link in our show notes or in the episode description and sign up for an account on Zencaster now to start recording your own podcast.
00:00:28
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to War Rocket Ajax.
00:00:53
Speaker
hello everybody and welcome to war rocket a This is the Internet's Most Explosive Comic Book and Pop Culture Podcast, and we are your hosts. My name is Chris Sims. With me, as always, is Matt Wilson.
00:01:06
Speaker
And Matt, I did not think of a question this time. Only just now remembering that's a bit.
00:01:15
Speaker
I have a question for you. I could ask you a question. Great! I would love that. Finally, you're carrying your weight around here. I'm kidding. that's I feel bad even saying that in chest. You do so much more than I do on this show.
00:01:28
Speaker
ah Months ago, I was hanging out with my nephew. And we were talking about Nintendo Switch games. And he was listing off to me every Nintendo Switch game he owns. Okay.
00:01:43
Speaker
And then he asked me what he thought my most played Nintendo Switch game was.
Nintendo Switch Games Discussion
00:01:50
Speaker
Okay. To which my reply was, Fitness Boxing 2.
00:01:55
Speaker
a which is easily the the program on the Nintendo Switch that I've played the most. Certainly, yeah. In advance of maybe or maybe not being by being able to buy the Switch 2 in the United States, Chris, what is your most played Switch game?
00:02:14
Speaker
game? ah Well, my my Switch is across the room, and I don't want to get up. So, ah do is there a way you can find that out? Because I know you can in Steam.
00:02:26
Speaker
um I don't think so. I've never seen that before. okay i will It's got to be an estimate, I think. I do own Fitness Boxing 2, and I do own Fitness Boxing Fist of the North Star.
00:02:39
Speaker
um But I don't... You've seen my living room. It's narrow. I don't have... the best space for fitness boxing. I got to figure something out because I do enjoy it when I do it.
00:02:51
Speaker
but i mostly play it I mostly play it in my office on with the not docked, not with the Switch docked. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting.
00:03:02
Speaker
See, i I like having, I would want like the big screen for that, but I guess I guess i could just prop it up. But I will tell you. yeah. the almost assuredly, it's either Breath of the Wild or Tears of the Kingdom.
00:03:19
Speaker
It's probably Tears of the Kingdom. One of those two would have been my guess, yeah, yeah of of your most played Switch game. Here's a project we're about to start putting some hours into, Raiding Swords.
Raiding Swords Project Introduction
00:03:31
Speaker
That's right. It is our first listener-submitted installment of 1 to 10 of Swords, our ongoing project of raiding The best, the worst, the middling from the world of Blades.
00:03:45
Speaker
And I will say, i've got some I've got some things to say about some things people have said to me since we announced this and launched it. Oh. and Okay.
00:03:57
Speaker
ah you Matt, you know I'm gregarious by nature. Uh-huh. We're going to have to go down and have a talk. Famously gregarious and circumspect. Those are our traits. That's us.
00:04:12
Speaker
Yeah. But people people are already wilding. Oh, the the boundaries are being pushed, and I think we're going to see it even this episode. But before we get to that, Chris... The energy that was put into sending us comic strips has been put into discourse.
00:04:30
Speaker
That's right. Dis-svortsk.
00:04:34
Speaker
We're going to get to that in a little bit, but first, Chris, we have some business to take care of.
Patreon Support & Benefits
00:04:38
Speaker
The first piece of business is thanking our new supporters over on Patreon. That's right, Matt.
00:04:45
Speaker
And these are the people who are now contributing directly to the efforts to save Gimmick Street. That's right. Matt and I are, of course, co-presidents of the Gimmick Street Neighborhood Association.
00:04:57
Speaker
And we have have opened it up for the revitalization of some some kind of fallow properties starting at 719 Gimmick Street.
00:05:11
Speaker
That's right. Matt, what's his so what's opening up at 719 Gimmick Street? Specifically, we have changed our $15 level on Patreon to make it so that Naming rights for various addresses on Gimmick Street are can be purchased if you join at the $15 level on Patreon.
00:05:37
Speaker
Gimmick Street real estate is being sold at the monthly cost of $15. And our first piece of Gimmick Street naming rights that we have sold went to Soso Cendere, who...
00:05:54
Speaker
ah Put at 719 Gimmick Street, the Krakoan Language Immersion School. That's good. but Hey, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's great. That's good one. You can go there, you can find out what what they're saying.
00:06:09
Speaker
Yeah. You can find out what the apocalypse just now has a symbol. You can find out if the island that fucks talks to you, of what it's saying, what it's telling you.
00:06:22
Speaker
It is an island that fucks. It sure is. There's no
Chris's Sailor Moon Experience
00:06:26
Speaker
getting around that.
00:06:29
Speaker
if it if If it wasn't Marvel Comics, they would have called Krakoa the island that fucks. It's wild that like for a long time, Krakoa was just an island, and then it became kind of a like a dude, like a person, yeah yeah and then it fucked. Yeah.
00:06:48
Speaker
and like Absolutely. The third thing came very rapidly after the second thing. And then it invented a new mutant language. ah hu It's all there. It's all there.
00:06:59
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Right in front of you. If you're not me and Matt and you give a shit about Cypher, you can find him down at 719 Gimmick Street. That's right. And Soso, thank you very much for becoming part of the the Gimmick Street Restoration Society. It's your contributions, contributions like yours, that help us continue to ah make Gimmick Street thrive.
00:07:27
Speaker
That's right. And while you're making Gimmick Street thrive – You help us out. You help us do the show. You help us keep going. You help us do all the fun stuff that we do. And you help us pay those gimmicks they keep sending in the mail called Bills.
00:07:40
Speaker
That's right, Chris. Here are our newest Patreon supporters. Grayson Stam. Thank you, Grayson. Tim Gannon.
00:07:50
Speaker
Thank you, Tim. Michael Heida. Thank you, Michael. Deez Nautz. Thank you, Deez.
00:07:59
Speaker
And Aiden Cole. Thank you, Aiden. If you would like to be like all of those lovely people, some of
Matt's Dimension 20 Discovery
00:08:08
Speaker
them with their real names, And help us out here on War Rocket Ajax and at Kledis Media. You can do what Chris said. Go to patreon.com slash warrocketajax and kick in as little as $1 per month to make sure that we do this show every single week.
00:08:23
Speaker
That we do Every Story Ever specials monthly. That we do Comics Catch-Up monthly. That we do Movie Fighters and Snack Situation. All of those shows are made possible by your support on Patreon.
00:08:34
Speaker
Currently, we are on a mission by April 20th to be at 420 paid Patreon subscribers.
00:08:46
Speaker
As of this recording, on April 10th, now you're not going to hear this until the episode goes up next Monday, but as of right now, on April 10th, you will probably be hearing this on April 14th or later, we are at 414. That's so close.
00:09:05
Speaker
that's so close Six more. Six more is all we need. that's yeah That's so incredibly close, Matt. To get to the funny weed number. If we reach the funny weed number, we will take an edible and we will record Boko.
00:09:22
Speaker
That is our promise to you. That is our commitment to you. It is what we will do. So, we are so close to making it happen and you can be one-sixth
00:09:34
Speaker
of what makes that happen if you go to patreon.com slash warrocketajax. Well, you can be 1 Yes, but one-sixth of the last stretch.
00:09:46
Speaker
Mentioning bonus content, we talked about $1 a month. We thank everybody who contributes to the show on the show, but if you go to $5 a month, you reach the bonus content level. You are at the bonus content level where you will get to hear that promised bit of bonus content as well as all the bonus content we've ever put on Patreon, which is quite a bit.
00:10:05
Speaker
There's a ah good amount over there, and you get it all when you subscribe at that $5 level. At the $10 level, you get line-stepping privileges for our current segments, which are Every Story Ever and 1-10 of Swords.
00:10:19
Speaker
At $15, you get Gimmick Street Naming Rights, and then $20, you get you get a t-shirt, our annual t-shirt. We make a t-shirt every year and send it out to our patrons.
00:10:32
Speaker
um I need to check on the status of the 2025 t-shirt, but ah it is in the works as far as I know. So that sounds pretty good, right? That sounds like something you should be into and would be into.
00:10:47
Speaker
um If you're
Game Changer Series Exploration
00:10:48
Speaker
unable to help us monetarily, because of various factors. um We understand why that would be the case, why that might be the case. You can help us out in other ways. so You can leave us five-star review on the podcasting app that you listen to podcasts on.
00:11:05
Speaker
Or you can tell your friends and family about the show and then ah prod and poke them to back our Patreon. And then we will definitely get to that funny weed number and you will get to hear Tell them to download that Weed Boko, and then you'll get to hear it if they play it for you.
00:11:26
Speaker
Now that we've thanked our patrons, it's time for some checks and recs. What do you say? Let's do it.
00:11:35
Speaker
Chris, what do you have to check in with this week? Matt, I've got – it's hard to get through things these days. It's rough out there.
00:11:46
Speaker
It is rough out there. And it seems like everything just keeps getting worse. It seems like, you know, all day it's bad news. um And the reason it seems like that is largely it is.
00:12:00
Speaker
But i have some good news for a change. um a little A little something. You know, you can think about this ah and it'll cheer you up.
00:12:13
Speaker
Matt, Sailor Moon's real and she's my friend. Wow, okay. Please, I must know more. which Which does mean that we will sooner rather than later be living in a ah benevolent autocracy run by our eternal pharaonic god queen, Usagi Skino.
00:12:32
Speaker
ah Matt, Sailor Moon the Super Live is on its North American tour right now. And I attended the showing here in beautiful Minneapolis, Minnesota. This is the second time I have seen Sailor Moon Live.
00:12:46
Speaker
ah The first time I saw it on in 2019, on the day that I got a Sailor Moon tattoo on the way to the show. On the way to this show, I did text my good friend and tattoo artist, ah Aaron Hunter, and said, hey, do you want to give me another Sailor Moon tattoo?
00:13:04
Speaker
but So I may be getting another one. ah But this it was a different experience. I sat much closer to the stage. I was in the the first row past the orchestra pit.
00:13:16
Speaker
ah So very close to the stage. And i did not have the endorphins of a fresh tattoo running through my body. So I will say, perhaps surprisingly, surprising everyone, myself included, I did not cry this time.
00:13:35
Speaker
And that's that's shocking. You know me, Matt. The waterworks are not difficult to get out of me. that is That is true, yes. Yeah, I didn't cry, but I did very much enjoy the show. I had a great time.
00:13:49
Speaker
actually ended up taking a ah friend who had never ah seen Sailor Moon before, but does like other Magical Girl stuff. And they had a blast, so that was great. I did buy... Look, this is this is why you need to purchase some Gimmick Street real estate. I did buy every piece of of merchandise they had.
00:14:08
Speaker
And I'm not ashamed of that. umm I'm... There was only one way that was ever going to go down. and And that it happened in that exact way.
00:14:22
Speaker
It was great. If you get a chance to see it, their their North American tour this time is really weird. It's not going anywhere in the Southeast. ah In fact, ah my our friends, Shannon Maynard and ah her husband David, came up from Atlanta to Minneapolis to see it.
00:14:40
Speaker
ah And yet, two dates in Ohio.
00:14:45
Speaker
Huh. Yeah, weird, right? Not the same city, but like like they like they did Cincinnati and Cleveland. But not Atlanta. But they didn't do anywhere in the Southeast. They didn't do Atlanta. they didn't do they didn't They didn't do anywhere.
00:15:01
Speaker
Wild. Not even Florida. not Not Florida. Nowhere. Weird, yeah. Yeah. And look, if I'm Musagi Ski-No, I don't want to stay in America any longer than I have to right now.
00:15:15
Speaker
So, you know, maybe that's maybe that's just what happens. But I had a blast. ah The show was great. I did get the VIP ah tickets, which meant that I had a high-five experience.
00:15:27
Speaker
ah with ah the cast, which they forbade us from recording or taking photos of. So I did just kind of high-five all the Senji. And I did get to show my tattoo to Sailor Moon.
00:15:39
Speaker
And she ah she seemed to like it. Which is why which is how I know that we're best friends now. Because she's real. That is the way to know. Yeah, that's the way to know, for sure.
00:15:50
Speaker
Good times. Good times had by everyone in attendance. I will say, reimagining Queen Beryl as a like
00:16:01
Speaker
seductive torch song singer about how she wants to murder this 14-year-old girl, incredible. Just an incredible move on the part of Sailor Moon the Super Live.
00:16:18
Speaker
Okay, this is going to sound weird, Matt. I'm not recognized in a lot of places. Uh-huh. But if there's going to be one, i would, like, it's independent wrestling shows i have been recognized at at a couple times. a couple times You would think that a Sailor Moon live show would be another one.
00:16:40
Speaker
Uh, no, I was not sporting any of my own, Sailor Moon podcast merchandise. Uh, but I was wearing a Florence Y'all's baseball cap and I think I might be the only person in the city who owns one. So, uh, didn't happen and that's fine. But, uh, if you love Sailor Moon like I do, then I hope you get to see it and that you have a good time.
Dimension 20 & McElroy Brothers
00:17:00
Speaker
Matt, what have you been up to? Well, I have been, um basically living in a world where anime is real. Well, Chris, you have been evangelizing for Dimension 20 on the dropout, over-the-top streaming network.
00:17:19
Speaker
It's like Netflix, but better. For quite some time. And i have always had a hard time getting into it because those episodes are really long.
00:17:32
Speaker
And if I'm doing something else while it's on... And not giving it my full attention, i will invariably turn back to the screen and be like, what's going on?
00:17:43
Speaker
And like that's not an experience I love to have. right but and And I tried to start with um the the high school one. Tennessee High.
00:17:58
Speaker
Fantasy High, yeah. And there's a lot of kind of – it's not that it's super hard to start on it as far as Lauren's stuff. But the first time I tried to watch it, it seemed like everybody had pre-existing relationships that I didn't quite know about.
00:18:14
Speaker
I know more about those now um that I've watched more stuff on Dropout. But like those were my barriers to entry. Now, you might think that what got me to start watching it was the fact that there is now a Dimension 20 show with four WWE superstars, TM.
00:18:39
Speaker
That's not what did it. What did it was an accompanying video called How to Watch Dimension 20, which broke down all of the various seasons Yeah.
00:18:55
Speaker
and what is in them and that is how i learned about tiny heist now tiny heist happens to be the season with the mcarroy brothers and clint which isn't a bad thing for me but isn't the reason that it's what got me into it the recent the thing that's what got me into it got me into it is that it's a big heist Yeah, it is, in retrospect, the one that I should have recommended specifically to you.
00:19:23
Speaker
And it's Brennan Lee Mulligan running the game, ah the McElroy brothers and Clint, oh and then also Jess Ross and Lily Dew, who are yeah ah more regular ah dropout cast members.
00:19:37
Speaker
Also two of my favorites. Love Jess Ross. Love Lily Dew, but Jess Ross is is fantastic. Yeah. The whole ah Game Changer that was like a celebration of Jess Ross.
00:19:50
Speaker
One of the best things I've ever seen. So sweet. and So sweet. And seems... Yeah. Also, she's hilarious. If you if you have not watched ah ah Kingpin Katie, which is um Breaking Bad starring Katie Maravich, it's like a produced... like It's like a show.
00:20:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:10
Speaker
It's the stuff they did. It's the college kind of college humor stuff that they did before Dropout. Yeah. it is But it is a a full like ah season of a television show. It's wild. um Jess Ross, who is, ah I believe, a lesbian married to a woman, plays a version of herself that's just really horny for Mike Trapp on that show. And is it's so funny.
00:20:37
Speaker
That does sound very funny. um But yeah, Tiny Heist. i'm I'm still on episode four of Tiny Heist, but that's what it took.
00:20:48
Speaker
And so now I'm probably going to start watching, when when I'm finished with that, I'm probably going to start watching Titan Takedown as it's coming out. And then we'll see if I go back and watch the other stuff.
00:21:03
Speaker
But I finally got there. ah this week is the week that I finally got there. ah So it took me a while, Chris, but it happened. I'm so glad.
00:21:14
Speaker
Yes. I'm so glad. I think you're going to find a lot to enjoy. Yes, I think by virtue of the fact that I've played a lot more tabletop games, and I've watched a lot of stuff on Dropout so I know who these people are and how they relate to each other,
00:21:30
Speaker
It will actually mean something for me. Yes. And will keep my attention more. Also, I will say, it is it is no secret. it's It is known that ah Justin McElroy is,
00:21:44
Speaker
is ah of of the four core McElroys, the best. Oh, easily. And his character in Tiny Heist, Rick Diggins? Yes. Yes.
00:21:56
Speaker
is maybe the best character certainly any McElroy has ever played in anything. i Whenever he debuts a new character, i get like it's one of those things where I like it so much it makes me mad.
00:22:10
Speaker
like when i like Fucking Duck Newton made me so goddamn mad because I'm like, this is so great. Duck Newton is great. ah but But yeah, Rick Diggins is... Rick Diggins is better. You you were texting me about it, and I told you that there is... There's like a scene... like The introductory scene of Rick Diggins I think about all the time.
00:22:32
Speaker
So if you haven't seen it, Rick Diggins... um They don't call him a Lego man on the show. He's click-o man. He's a click-o man, but he's he's a Lego man. And um the gimmick is that he can switch torsos to become different versions of Rick Diggins.
00:22:51
Speaker
and And so there's one who's ah there's one who's a like a superhero, like a Superman kind of character. supreme man. the Supreme Man. There's one who's a cop.
00:23:02
Speaker
him There's one who is a dinosaur. Who's, I believe, Digginsaurus Ricks. Digginsaurus Ricks, yeah.
00:23:13
Speaker
I forget what he started out as. He's Rick Diggins' man about town. He was Rick Diggins' man about town, which is just like a tuxedo. He has a tuxedo. But then there's also just Rick Diggins' prime, who is Rick Diggins if he takes his hair off.
00:23:28
Speaker
Yeah. And that guy's French. yeah Yeah. And and and dark. And dark, yeah yeah. Love Rick Diggins.
00:23:39
Speaker
Love Rick Diggins. Oh, and there's an astronaut. There's Lieutenant Rick Diggins, the astronaut. yes um Yeah. that Excellent stuff. Justin McElroy.
00:23:50
Speaker
Best McElroy. and it's It's not particularly close. Yeah. ah All right, Chris, time to make some
Comic Book Reviews
00:24:00
Speaker
recommendations. what do you have to recommend?
00:24:01
Speaker
oh Matt, there's a part of me that suspects that we may have the same recommendation this week. Oh? Because it's another thing that we ah texted each other about. And I will say, here's here's what I'll say right up front.
00:24:16
Speaker
Hey, Sam Reich, if you want maybe slide a little money to your boys, you want to slide some of that to $6.99 a month? a month to the price The price is going up. They announced that the price is going up. Maybe what they're going to do with that extra dollar... It's going up for new subscribers. Existing subscribers. yeah yeah But if you want to yeah yeah ah slide a little bit to your boys, like maybe that's what that new dollar is for.
00:24:42
Speaker
ah Feel free for all the for all the free plugs that you're getting out of me. Sam! ah But...
00:24:54
Speaker
The season premiere of the new season of Game Changer, which ah which is... think the flagship show of Dropout is Dimension 20. I think the spiritual flagship is Game Changer. For me, for me it definitely is. like Game Changer is everything I want yeah from a show.
00:25:18
Speaker
The first episode of the new season of Game Changer... should be the last episode of Game Changer. Not like I think the show should end now, but like it is the culmination of Game Changer. It is an hour long and one of the best hours of television I've ever seen.
00:25:35
Speaker
It is conceptually... like the the the The thing about Game Changer is that over time it has gotten more and more conceptually complex.
00:25:48
Speaker
Yes. And I'm not saying that they can't get more conceptually complex than this. They can. But this is like such a brilliant high concept that it's hard to think about what else they might be able to do.
00:26:10
Speaker
but What they did in the episode is when they finished filming Sam Says 3 last season, last season They gave the three players from that game, who are Lou Wilson, Vic Michaelis, and Jacob Wysocki, list of tasks that they needed to complete within one year.
00:26:37
Speaker
Yeah, they gave them ah one year. One year to complete these tasks. And look, this only works...
00:26:48
Speaker
if everybody commits to it, and everyone committed to it harder than they had to. ah One of the things I said, i like i AC hadn't seen it yet, so I watched the first half with it ah with her again tonight.
00:27:07
Speaker
ah But I love Jacob Wysocki. I think Jacob Wysocki's great. Fantastic. I'm in love with Vic Michaelis.
00:27:18
Speaker
ah hu For sure. A full celebrity crush. Lou Wilson is the Okada. He's the ace. he's He's the John Cena and like John Cena later career big match John US Open Challenge John Cena. He's the fucking Kenny Omega of the of Dropout.
00:27:42
Speaker
look But of all those comparisons, I think the most apt Okada. Because the thing about Cena is that he was so obviously the top guy, and like everybody was making way for him to be the top guy, that people started to hate him.
00:28:00
Speaker
Right? Yeah. i don't think I don't think anybody hates Lou Wilson. I would find it nearly impossible. I think... Lou Wilson is the Okada, because not only is he the top guy, not only do you have to give it up to him, he makes it look so effortless.
00:28:21
Speaker
Yeah, he's he's he's seven stars. you know like like the The reason I threw Kenny Omega out there, best bout machine, Lou Wilson, best improv machine. No kidding.
00:28:33
Speaker
Like... Every time. i think about how he ah played those Game Changers Survivor episodes and continued to be awed by it.
00:28:44
Speaker
Yeah. ah but he
00:28:48
Speaker
he does something... he here's Here's what I love about this episode and and the cast. Jacob Wysocki plays the game. he plays the game in a funny very...
00:29:02
Speaker
but very rational way. And it's so weird to see him be the straight man. Yeah.
00:29:13
Speaker
The only way I can really put it compared to how Lou and Vic play it is very sincere. Yeah, yeah. it's Everything he does is still very funny.
00:29:27
Speaker
And like takes like he puts so much effort into it. like And it's great. If it was just that, it would still be hilarious. Vic Michaelis is a chaos goblin who at one point says, you have to give me boundaries, you gave me too much time.
00:29:47
Speaker
Because everything they do is... The wildest swing. Well, it's it's all to trying to do like the lateral thinking.
00:29:58
Speaker
ah check like Like, on Taskmaster, if you take a challenge and you approach it in a in a way that isn't like totally direct, sometimes you can be rewarded for it, right?
00:30:13
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And I think that's what Vic was going and going for every single time. With every single thing. Yeah, they went bananas. They went fully bananas.
00:30:24
Speaker
And I love it. I love everything they do. Lou Wilson did just... so like took everything so much further than he needed to.
00:30:39
Speaker
Like, it's... And... The bit with the car is among the funniest things I've seen in my life. Because he had to drive that around.
00:30:51
Speaker
I swear to God, I've seen people like on social media post pictures of that car. Oh, I saw like a eight TikTok of a guy who was like shooting from the top of an adjacent building at the Jimmy Kimmel Live parking lot and going, what the fuck is going on?
00:31:08
Speaker
What is this car? Yeah. I didn't realize that Lou Wilson actually worked on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He's the announcer. ah Which is cool. I mean, it's great. Good for him. But that means there's less of him on Dropout, which is sad.
00:31:22
Speaker
Yeah. ah But what a what a what a bit of television. um I'm going to ask you a question. Matt, do do you know the bit with Vic Michaelis' clothing?
00:31:35
Speaker
With the... the Like the the octopus clothing? Do you know what it is? like Do you know what it is is representing?
00:31:45
Speaker
i Maybe. i don't i don't know. I just sent you a link. Okay. Oh, it it actually is a cover of an Animorphs book. Chaos. okay Absolute chaos.
00:31:58
Speaker
I love that. We stand. We stand the the the the king, Michaelis. I don't have a ton of like actual familiarity with Animorphs.
00:32:10
Speaker
i ah They said at one point that they had Animorphed, but I didn't realize. The the the fact that they say that, and that's kind of all the discussion of it, and then you see it, and like, oh, no, that's exactly what it was.
00:32:29
Speaker
ah Like, the whole time. like it There's layers to it, Matt. Anyway, if you haven't watched the season period of Game Changer, you should watch it. But you kind of should also watch the preceding six seasons of Game Changer.
00:32:42
Speaker
Yeah, Game Changer is my favorite thing on Dropout by a lot. and And yes, absolutely watch it. That is our mutual rec. Which means, k Chris, it's time for us to talk about some comics.
00:32:56
Speaker
Let's do it.
00:33:00
Speaker
Absolute Batman number seven. There isn't a texture choice winner this week, technically. um But you did text about Absolute Batman. I did. I texted... I caught up on the last two issues today.
00:33:13
Speaker
ah So the what I did text about was the last issue of Absolute Batman. And what I texted was, I think Scott Snyder is the only person alive who thinks more about Batman's ears than I do.
00:33:25
Speaker
The new issue, Absolute Batman number seven, is the start of a Mr. Freeze story arc that absolutely changes Mr. Freeze on a fundamental level that is very cool and fascinating, and I can't wait wait to see where it goes. you know this This is absolute Mr. Freeze.
00:33:49
Speaker
This absolute zero is the title of this story. Hilarious. But this Mr. Freeze is not Victor. This Mr. Freeze is the son of Victor and Nora Freeze. Victor Jr. Victor Jr. And ah that's one. That's great.
00:34:05
Speaker
Two, Marcos Martin does the art in this. And buddy, have you ever wanted your Batman comic to look like Akira? Because that's what this fucking looks like.
00:34:17
Speaker
Yeah. You're not wrong. There's a panel of Bruce just kind of like turning around and in profile. It's like the next to last page of the story.
00:34:29
Speaker
Where he he fucking looks like Kaneda. Yeah, I mean, there're so there's other Akira shit in this too. ah For sure, yeah. ah But yeah, what ah I mean, it's a beautiful book.
00:34:44
Speaker
God, it looks good. I like that we're getting... but Very much the like you know ultimate Green Goblin takes on on on Batman villains. I'm excited about it. And I'm excited about the... i mean we We see... It's either in this issue... I think it's in the last one.
00:35:01
Speaker
We see like one panel of what is very clearly the Joker. And it's like, what the fuck is going on with this guy? Yeah. like It's weird. and i um And I'm here for it.
00:35:13
Speaker
Yeah, a huge part of this issue is The absolute version of Arkham, which is called Ark-M. but That is like, I am, but you know you know I'm in the tank for Scott Snyder.
00:35:25
Speaker
Uh-huh. That's the one where I'm like, is, like, is, does that rule?
00:35:35
Speaker
i go back and forth.
00:35:39
Speaker
Because there's a part of me that's like, Arkham's already a thing. Like, Arkham's already a reference to something else. Yeah. I mean, yes. Yes, it's it's a reference to Lovecraft, right? Yeah. but like But reading this issue, though, like I was kind of astonished at what this book has ah accomplished in just seven issues.
00:36:03
Speaker
Like, this very different kind of Batman and Alfred relationship. This Gotham kind of being Mega City One? It's a little bit.
00:36:15
Speaker
buddy? A little bit. And also how it kind of feels like I mean, it kind of feels like Batman Year One. It has like certain elements of feeling like like a ah take on Golden Age Batman, though.
00:36:34
Speaker
You know what I mean? Like yeah it's it's like weirdly close to the ah the Mark Russell book. um in yeah some ways, like those early issues of that book.
00:36:45
Speaker
The Dark Age, I think that was called, oh which I really loved. But yeah, like it's it's a weird-feeling book in a way that I really like. Yeah, I love it, man. i like i mean, we've had nothing good things to say about the Absolute Line in general, but like this is very much the flagship of that, and with good reason. Like,
00:37:10
Speaker
It really feels like you're reading something totally new when you're reading this comic. And, like, Matches Malone being a guy. yeah not totally new, that idea, but totally new, the idea that, like, he's one of the gang that grew up with Batman in Crime Alley.
00:37:28
Speaker
Yeah. Like, yeah I mean, that idea as a whole is new, but that, you know, Matches Malone being a character that is... has a connection to Bruce Wayne in that way.
00:37:42
Speaker
Very new. Yeah. And then kind of like a weird explanation for why that's going to be a name that, that Bruce has to use. Also though, I would question the idea of like, we're saying going to pretend to be that guy. He's three times his size.
00:38:01
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He can't, he can't look like him. Yeah.
00:38:07
Speaker
That's just not possible. that's The law of conservation of mass has taught us that that is impossible. um Another Batman comic that you wanted to talk about, Chris, that I have not read is Batman Dark Patterns number five.
00:38:23
Speaker
We talked about the last issue, about this story about a building being the Ventriloquist or being as on a scarface Scarface. There's a building and the building is Scarface. Scarface isn't just Buffett. He's a building.
00:38:40
Speaker
yeah so So tell me about issue five. ah You might recall, Matt... that One of the things that I said about the last issue was that, or or when i I jumped on this book, was that there was a very kind of funny, obvious, like, Britishism.
00:38:59
Speaker
Senior citizens are called pensioners instead of, like, retirees or
Raiding Swords Deep Dive
00:39:03
Speaker
whatever. yeah That happens again in this book in this issue, but it's literally someone saying, blimey, when they see Batman. Yeah.
00:39:15
Speaker
And I'm like, okay, now you're doing it on purpose? you know You know we don't say that. You know we don't say know we don't say that. Come on. You might as well put somebody in your comic calling it a chicken burger.
00:39:28
Speaker
don't like that. um that's what they call That's what they call a chicken sandwich. The other thing that I thought was notable was that ah at some point, at one point, Batman like like throws like a gas grenade at um the the people who are all wearing Scarface masks trying to kill him.
00:39:47
Speaker
Scarface makes a very funny joke about like, yeah, i so um I only smoke the finest Cuban cigars. I can handle a little gas. And then ah Batman says, this isn't gas. This is white phosphorus.
00:40:00
Speaker
And buddy, that's a war crime. I'm pretty sure. i believe you're right. Yes. like And that's very lethal. Yeah. Like it's one thing like snake eyes did that to Cobra commander once.
00:40:13
Speaker
But Batman, don't think you can do that, bud. I don't think Batman can do that, Matt.
00:40:21
Speaker
I don't think Batman can employ Willie Pete. That's all I'm saying. All good points. um I mean, he did it, and he didn't kill anybody, but um only by the grace of God.
00:40:32
Speaker
yeah still Look, still highly enjoying the comic. yeah Still really having a blast. ah But I did, I hit that page and stopped and I was like, did Batman just do a war crime?
00:40:45
Speaker
Like a full ass, like, like a full ass Geneva Convention ass war crime? i mean, I guess Batman kind of does a lot of war crimes, but we don't think about it.
00:40:58
Speaker
Yeah. button is Because he doesn't kill anybody. Yeah. He does so he does war crimes the right way. Yes. Well, yeah. I don't think I want to agree to that, actually. I'm going to dial back on that agreement real quick. yeah Good book.
00:41:14
Speaker
Be careful about Batman doing war crimes. keep Keep a close eye on that. um But yes, a ah an otherwise highly enjoyable book ah by Dan Waters.
00:41:26
Speaker
And I think the Hayden Sherman, I think that's the the team ah of the Ezreal book that we really liked. Yeah. So, very, very fun stuff.
00:41:40
Speaker
maybe Maybe... Maybe don't have Batman do that part, though. Matt, you wanted to talk about a comic? Yes, I wanted to talk about the new Amazing Spider-Man number one.
00:41:51
Speaker
ah Which... Starts the Joe Kelly run on Spider-Man in earnest. Because... Joe Kelly wrote a few issues of that that eight deaths story, but then passed it off pretty quickly.
00:42:09
Speaker
This seems to be the actual beginning of Joe Kelly's run on Spider-Man, which um starts with but with Peter in a very interesting place. ah He's trying to find a job um because he doesn't work at Oscorp anymore and having a hard time getting hired.
00:42:28
Speaker
Why? You know, ah associations with Norman Osborn, being known for being late all the time, showing up to a job interview with a giant line of bruise on his face because he got hit with a manhole cover. Yeah.
00:42:45
Speaker
and all all of that kind of stuff. um And so he's having a hard time finding a job. um But his his a buddy of his pulls some strings and gets him a job at ah Rand ran Industries, oh or Rand Enterprises, which we haven't seen Iron Fist yet, but I assume that that's coming.
00:43:06
Speaker
his His girlfriend from the ah Zeb Wells run is still around. Shay is still around, which is great because I really liked that character from the Zeb Wells run.
00:43:20
Speaker
So Pepe LaRoz is doing the art on this, and all the stuff with Spider-Man looks great. Spider-Man fights a rhino. Weird stuff happens with the rhino where like Spider-Man then has to do CPR on him. And then...
00:43:36
Speaker
that same kind of weird stuff ends up happening to Spider-Man later in the issue. And that's going to be where we go from here. Somehow it seemingly involves Roderick Kingsley, which means there might be a Hobgoblin.
00:43:52
Speaker
I don't know. but I don't know about that, but all of that stuff looks great. Pepe LaRoz, we've well-established, we're a fan of his.
00:44:03
Speaker
yeah Here's the one thing, though. His Peter don't look right.
00:44:11
Speaker
There has got to be a different way you could phrase that. I'm sorry to say that his Peter don't look right. its There's got to be a method there has to be another way.
00:44:23
Speaker
There is something about the way Pepe LeRoz draws Peter Parker that is just, to me, not the way he looks.
00:44:34
Speaker
I think he's kind of based on Tom Holland, which is fine.
00:44:42
Speaker
But in a lot of panels, especially the early panels of this issue, Peter Parker looks like weird. He doesn't look the way I think Peter Parker should look.
00:44:55
Speaker
Uh, I love Pepe LeRoz. I think Pepe LeRoz is a great artist. But that is my one that is the one thing that's keeping me from like unabashedly recommending this this comic.
00:45:10
Speaker
I have to say. um Is it otherwise like when they did the remastered version of marvel Sony's so he's Marvel Spider-Man for the PlayStation 5, and instead of looking like Peter Parker, he looked kind of like Tom Holland?
00:45:25
Speaker
I mean, kind of, but like that's in motion, so it's different. There's something about it looking like that on the page in a Marvel comic comic book that, I don't know, it just feels weird to me. But i one, I'm sure I'll get used to it, and two, I'm sure it will evolve over time.
00:45:44
Speaker
um But otherwise, the book's a hoot, and I had a lot of fun reading it. So ah that's how I felt about the new Amazing Spider-Man number one.
00:45:56
Speaker
Now, Chris, it's time to talk about how we feel about some sharp things. It's time to for one to ten of swords. Let's do it. but when i swing my saws they ya cho up ball Matt, before we get into this, yep i I do need to say something.
00:46:14
Speaker
You know what a sword is. Our friend... Matt, our very good friend, El Collins, said if a batleth is a sword, a battleaxe a sword. And you know that's not right, El. don't want these people out here trying and to be like, but what is a sword? You know what a sword is. We went through some basic guidelines when we introduced the segment.
00:46:41
Speaker
Do you know what a sword is? Well, Chris, i'm I'm sorry to report that That our very first submission is going to be a disqualification.
00:46:56
Speaker
oh Why? Why? It's from Steve Lee. It is a line stepper submission. And what was submitted is Wolverine's adamantium clause.
00:47:10
Speaker
That's not a sword! Well, here's Steve's argument. ah Steve's argument? Before we get to Steve's argument, if someone said Wolverine uses a sword, like i mean, look, Wolverine does use a sword, like Wolverine has a sword, but like if a trading card said Wolverine, one of his powers was a sword, you would say that was bullshit. Yeah.
00:47:39
Speaker
um Okay. Steve says, though called claws they are not actually claws the blades protrude from a top wolverine's hands and not from his fingers and they could still be calledul a sword rather than a dagger because the adamantium claws are used in slashing attack but as well as piercing attacks their knives if they're i mean they're claws they're we know This is the same thing as a taco being a sandwich. If I told you I was eating a sandwich and you saw I was eating a taco, you would call an ambulance. But but if we're if we're saying what they are in practice... they're anything, they're knives.
00:48:18
Speaker
They're knives.
00:48:21
Speaker
They're absolutely knives. First of all, you know six blades is not a sword.
00:48:28
Speaker
If Wolverine had one claw... i I'll give you Baraka. Yeah. Yeah. i'll give you I'll give you Razor Sharp.
00:48:40
Speaker
You know? ah we They won't rank well, but okay, sure. But buddy, you know that ain't fucking swords. i'm so I'm so mad. This is the opposite of Snowflame vs. Nancy. Like, I feel... wanna... This... This makes me wanna stop talking about swords.
00:49:04
Speaker
and And that's not what we want. That's not what we want. That's not what we want. So... ah led Let's just proceed.
00:49:15
Speaker
Unbelievable procedure that you would try that. Also... the first the first You heard us introduce the segment and threw that at us. Also, I'm just going to say this.
00:49:28
Speaker
Because Steve also so submitted an alternate. okay We're not doing alternates. No, we're not. No. Steve, go raise your Patreon pledge by $5 right now.
00:49:42
Speaker
We're not doing alternates because... Okay, if you submit something that somebody else has already submitted, we can give you some wiggle room.
00:49:54
Speaker
ah But for but like if we just disqualify it, we are not doing an alternate. Not doing an alternate. We're putting our foot down on that. mate maybe Maybe if an honest...
00:50:07
Speaker
maybe if we feel like it's an honest like Like, look, we talked about how Sting is technically was was forged as a and a knife, a dagger, but is employed as a sword.
00:50:26
Speaker
hu So if it's like something like that where it's like, okay, well we don't consider this a sword, but we can see how you got there, maybe. But not this time. Unbelievable.
00:50:38
Speaker
Matt, I'm legitimately angry right now. Okay. This is going to bring us back, though. This is going to bring us back. this is This is a submission from David LaRosse. Okay. And it is Chris O'Grimm from Castlevania Symphony. Okay, 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10.
00:50:57
Speaker
It was its almost my initial pick. it was It was very close to being my initial pick. Yeah, yeah. So so no no discussion at all, just immediately 10 out of 10. I mean, am I wrong, Matt? No, you're right.
00:51:11
Speaker
I mean, it's it's it's fucking great. Yeah, Matt. Okay, if if you don't know, the my favorite thing is that there are people who are into Symphony of the Night who don't know about it because they only look at the number.
00:51:26
Speaker
And by the time you get it, you have swords that have like a stronger attack. Right? Yeah. But the deal with the Chrysagram, or Chrysagram, I've never really been sure how to pronounce it, but the the deal with it is, it is a it is a sword that you can use while moving, and it hits like five times.
00:51:51
Speaker
ah four Four hits per swing, zero recovery time. Which is why its a attack rating is lower, because yes you hit five times. Yeah. It owns.
00:52:02
Speaker
it's And you have to, like, you weirdly have to grind in a very late game part of the game to get it. ah And, like, it's it drops from the one of the the the monsters in the inverse long library, the Shmoo, which is a like, weird flying scarecrow head.
00:52:24
Speaker
hu Because all the villains, all the enemies in that section are, like, weirdly Wizard of Oz themed. ah But yeah, like, it's it's the second best weapon in the entire game.
00:52:39
Speaker
And it is ah it's the best sword in the game. And that game has, like, a hundred swords in it.
00:52:48
Speaker
True. it is That is, like... That's essentially the end of the game for me, right? like it's like once That's the point at which I can stop playing Symphony the Night, is when I get the Chris Igrom. Because, like, you've won.
00:53:10
Speaker
You've won. it's Everything else is just a matter of time. Fucking whips. Maybe my all-time...
00:53:17
Speaker
I mean, it maybe is my all-time favorite video game sword. Like, I know I said the Master Sword's 10 out of 10, kind of a perfect sword, but, like, i do fucking love it, dude. It does one of those things, the way it's the way it's animated, um it does one of those things I love where it just kind of, like, goes out in front of Alucard in an arc.
00:53:46
Speaker
Yeah. um Which is also what Strider's sword does in Strider. um And I think that always looks cool as shit. like Like, all you see is the motion of it.
00:54:02
Speaker
you You almost never just see, like, the sword itself, you know? um Yeah. And that's very cool. It's actually like the improved version of a different sword, ah which is the Vorpal Blade.
00:54:15
Speaker
But the Vorpal Blade only hits once when you press the button and is less powerful. And the Krasagrim hits four times. Yeah. ah And you just... Rules.
00:54:27
Speaker
ah every Every game... Every Castlevania game... has kind of since then has had kind of a version of this sword.
00:54:39
Speaker
And honestly, none of them have been as good. Like Valman Way and yeah from Arya and Dawn of Sorrow aren't as good.
00:54:51
Speaker
But fucking whips, dude. It's great. ah We went from a disqualification to a 10 out of 10. Thank you. I'm glad because I was i was angry and now feeling good.
00:55:04
Speaker
okay Now I'm actually feeling like, okay, i can we can get back to it. Do you disagree? No. no yeah I think it's ah it's a 10 out of 10. It's 10 out of 10 for me. I like how functional it is.
00:55:21
Speaker
um And I was going to say not flashy. It is flashy, but in a functional way. i really like that it's that it's a bit of a secret. like Everybody knows about it now, of course.
00:55:36
Speaker
yeah But I do feel like it's just a little bit of a secret. Well, it's I think you're right. like Even the way I play those games, like I'll get a new weapon, I'll look at its stats, and if... i Unless I know better, and I see that like the attack stat is lower, I'll be like, oh, I don't need that.
00:55:57
Speaker
And I'll stick with whatever... you know higher number weapon than I have. um So that's a neat little trick in that game. It's one that, like, it feels like it was maybe the last thing that I heard about from somebody with video games. Like, I didn't, you know, look it up. It was just like, oh, you know, if you kill this monster, you'll get, like, a really cool sword.
00:56:23
Speaker
Yeah. Like, that it was, I mean, this was 1998, so it wasn't like on the playground. I was 16. But yeah. Yeah. Similarly.
00:56:34
Speaker
Similarly. Here's our next submission. It's from lu Shoemaker. This is a sword from The White Trees by Chip Zdarsky and Chris Anka. It's Krylo's big-ass sword he keeps tied at the hilt because he don't want to fight anymore. So when he unties it, you know shit's going to get fucked up.
00:56:52
Speaker
I mean, look. I have not read this, and so I would have to like read it to make a a full judgment. I think this is a this might end up being like a DQ due to lack of familiarity.
00:57:05
Speaker
yeah But I will say that is one of my favorite things in any story. And the page that was sent kicks ass. Yeah, it looks great.
00:57:16
Speaker
Any Lord forgive me, I gotta go back to the old me moment. Oh, always good, yeah. yeah i This is a chip comic that I just never, I just totally missed. I don't know i don't know how or why, but I did.
00:57:35
Speaker
So, it's only two issues. Definite catch-up candidate. Yeah, I mean, that might just be like, um much of feel like i read it. in a minute. I might read that tonight, actually. yeah um It's a cool sword. It looks ah it does have a resemblance to other swords that I like. It's a falchion.
00:57:56
Speaker
If you're ah familiar, it's like a two-handed scimitar. Big sword. ye Good stuff. stuff ah so So that's DQ'd, but only for lack of familiarity. notch That we might revisit. it Yeah.
00:58:12
Speaker
Here's a submission from Jolene. This is ah The Sword of Dios from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Here's the thing. I've never watched Utena.
00:58:26
Speaker
i I know this sword. I don't know if I can pick it out of a lineup, but I know the sword by sight. um Revolutionary Girl Utena was ah directed by Ikahara, who is was like...
00:58:41
Speaker
not the ah I don't know if like Showrunner is the right turn, but like definitely like one of the primary dudes behind the Sailor Moon anime. um And is responsible for a lot of like the weird pervert stuff in Sailor Moon.
00:58:56
Speaker
I never watched it. like I love Ikuhara's stuff on Sailor Moon, by and large. He is a fucking weirdo. But... um I do like how this sword looks.
00:59:09
Speaker
I have been meaning to watch Utena for a long time, and now that I must rank the sword, I feel like this might be what does it.
00:59:20
Speaker
Because it's a cool-looking sword. It is a cool-looking sword. it's It's a dueling sword. Mm-hmm. it i don't I don't know if it's actually a fencing sword, but it definitely has that kind of look to it.
00:59:37
Speaker
But yes, it is a cool-looking sword, for sure. Yeah, and it it comes out of a Lady. Yeah. Apparently. Yeah. yeah Which I didn't know. That's wild.
00:59:50
Speaker
Yes, you have to pull it out of and the chest of Anthe. Correct. Yeah. is is Okay, this is a genuine question. um Jolene, maybe DM me the answer to this so that I'll make sure to see it. um Is the sword lesbianism?
01:00:11
Speaker
is the sword Is the sword lesbian? the sword Is the sword lesbians? It seems like it might be.
01:00:22
Speaker
which and if so, cool. Again, all for it. All for it. But it does look like it owns. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I like the design of a lot.
01:00:34
Speaker
the It's got like a jewel in the hilt. A couple of jewels in the hilt. It's got a rose. Yeah, it looks it it's a cool looking sword.
01:00:45
Speaker
I gotta say. Yeah, man. i i I don't know anything about Utena. So i I can't say one way or the other.
01:00:57
Speaker
this is a This is a sword I should be familiar with. And as I'll say this. I'm not going to say this often. and It is a failing on my part that I am unfamiliar with this sword.
01:01:10
Speaker
I should be. We've had one go off without a hitch, one where I failed you, and one where you failed me, listener. I think we've had two where we failed them.
01:01:22
Speaker
Because we didn't know about... ah The chip sword either. but Oh yeah, yeah. That's true. um This one we know, though. this This one's from Brad Lathspell, Dope Dog to Bergerac, who submits the six-fingered sword, the uniquely balanced Spanish rapier forged by the Toledo Master bladesmith Domingo Montoya for Count Rugen, the six-fingered man, and famously weded wellt wielded by his avenging son, Indigo Montoya, as depicted in both the book and the movie The Princess Bride.
01:01:56
Speaker
That's a great sword. That's a fucking great sword, dude. i um I'll tell you what. ain't even lying. The Princess Bride is the movie that made me love swords.
01:02:10
Speaker
its It's hard to say if there was a movie that made me love swords. Or if I loved swords. And therefore loved that movie.
01:02:21
Speaker
I mean, yes. I loved swords. I probably knew swords from like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or whatever. right But I had not seen like really well choreographed, fun, good movie sword fighting.
01:02:38
Speaker
like i had never seen any Errol Flynn movies or anything. right But I had seen The Princess Bride. And I had seen the part where... The Dread Pirate Roberts and Inigo Montoya were sword fighting on top of that cliff.
01:02:54
Speaker
And there's that bit where they both go, i know something you don't know, I'm going to tell you something that you don't know. I'm not left-handed.
01:03:05
Speaker
Yeah. Which is so... if First of all, if you've never read the book, The Princess Bride, read the book. if you If you like the movie at all, read the book. It's great. But also William Goldman wrote the screenplay to the film.
01:03:18
Speaker
The way that's set up, where Indigo says, I'm going to do them left-handed. And Vizzini's like, come on, we don't have time for this. And he goes, yeah you know um like I want to do them left-handed. like you know it's i haven't I haven't done this in a while. ah so let me have let me have my fun.
01:03:37
Speaker
And then also, the Dread Pirate Roberts, who is wearing his sword on his left. He's wearing his sword to draw with his right hand.
01:03:48
Speaker
Also draws left-handed. The setup and payoff for that is, well it's perfect. It is a perfect moment in film. Yeah. and that Matt, do you remember when we were at a con for the carryaways?
01:04:01
Speaker
I do. i do. And we went into the green room to get some pizza, and carryaways and ah Highlanders' Adrian Paul were ah sitting there watching sword fights on their phones. Yeah. Like, showing each other sword fights.
01:04:16
Speaker
Like, oh, you gotta see this one. Oh, man, dude, like... It's like... I i have letterboxd review of... I think it's a Castle for Christmas, say a film, a Christmas ah rom-com starring Cal Reelways. And I talked about that story and how it's that's their equivalent of us going and getting back issues and just sitting around at Comic-Con talking about comics with each other. it's It's honestly so nice that those du two dudes still love sword fights.
01:04:48
Speaker
Yeah, man. you know It's easy for us to love swords. Yeah. Yeah. We don't have to... It's not our job every day, right? Yeah. Like, Adrian Paul was doing sword fights on Highlander, the TV series, for however many seasons that show was on, right? Like, it was you know, you might get tired of it, but he's not.
01:05:12
Speaker
He's not. He loves it. And that's there's a purity to that that I that i admire. and Also, how rare is it that something is presented in a movie where it's like this, like like when Indigo like explains the sword and he's like, Oh yeah, my, you know, this is the finest sword he ever made.
01:05:36
Speaker
And it looks like it. Yeah. Like it actually looks like, Oh, that's, that's a beautiful object. Like, with the curling like a basket hilt.
01:05:49
Speaker
Like, it's it's such a pretty sword. They're, like, in the shape of... Like, dragon's heads? the I don't know if they look like snakes, but they look like snakes.
01:06:02
Speaker
They look like snakes, for sure. But there's, like, such a delicacy to them. Like, such an elegance. Like, you see that sword, and you're like, I get it. Like, that's the coolest shit of all time.
01:06:14
Speaker
Like... There's a part of me that would be willing to like If it were some other sword, I would maybe be like, that's too ornate.
01:06:25
Speaker
Right? like like You've gone past function into you know just decoration for the sake of decoration. like You would probably say, Matt, that a sword is just ah just a butcher knife.
01:06:41
Speaker
But the thing is... That sword being extremely ornate is incredibly important to its function and place in that story.
01:06:55
Speaker
yeah And so, like it being such a beautiful piece of art, in addition to being a weapon, is fantastic. It's so good.
01:07:07
Speaker
Yeah, it's really... It's a really well-crafted piece of the film in both like narrative and in terms of, like again, a physical object. It's pretty. yeah yeah it's it's It doesn't just look like a movie prop, which is good. Yeah.
01:07:27
Speaker
Now, I will say this.
01:07:30
Speaker
<unk> gonna It's going to be a 9 for me. And we can we can maybe negotiate that. But I do feel like that's my ceiling. Because... It is a beautiful and well-balanced sword.
01:07:41
Speaker
But... Inigo does lose that fight. He does lose that sword fight. And he kind of almost loses against Count Rugen. and like cons sport Like, the Master Sword would have fucked Count Rugen up.
01:07:56
Speaker
I mean, I almost want to say 8. Because... which i mean, it should be a 6. Really? I mean, that's funny. i i think it's ah No, that's but that's disrespectful.
01:08:08
Speaker
I think it's an 8. Because it is beautiful, and Inigo wields it well, but yeah, like it's not... there there is a There is an element of form not totally following function in that sword that...
01:08:30
Speaker
you know Like I said, i if it were any other thing, I might say it's too ornate. And and it kind of is. it like i I think it's perfect for what it is. It's weird that that is a story with swords and magic, but no magic swords.
01:08:46
Speaker
Yeah. the The magic of ah The Princess sp Bride is a very particular kind of thing. Yes.
01:08:55
Speaker
the the the The types of magic in that story, in that book and that movie, are... Limited, i guess? Yeah. Yeah.
01:09:06
Speaker
I mean, a dude does come back from the dead. ah Yeah, but in like a weird, like, not even, like, it's magic is like pseudoscience, you know?
01:09:20
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's true. I think we haven't decided yet if we're going to decimals. yeah i think you and i I think it is clear that you and I are both very excited about it. I'm i'm worried about getting... I'm a little bit worried about getting like too many 9s and 10s at the start, and then having to be like... you know is it Are these the same... like If we get a really, really good sword.
01:09:48
Speaker
I think this is a solid 8. I think... i think eights I think eight's good. I think eight's good. But it is certainly beautiful and narrative narratively ah very special.
01:10:02
Speaker
Yes, I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. ah All right. It's wild that Indigo can fight so well with it when it it's it's not balanced for his hand. It's interesting that and the further I get into these submissions, the more kind of...
01:10:18
Speaker
like You may be very familiar with this, Chris, but like I do think we're going to get more stuff that we're not familiar with because this is ever this is swords from everything. Yes. Right?
01:10:29
Speaker
We're not just talking about comics. These are swords from everything. so which is Which is wild. Because between the two of us, we have consumed a lot of sword media.
01:10:40
Speaker
Yeah, but like we can't have possibly have read every book with a sword it. I mean, that's true. That's true. I do i will say, i this is not ah a requirement, but I would prefer... There's a lot of good swords in books, but I would prefer a sword with it at least some kind of visual element to it.
01:11:02
Speaker
So that we can make an aesthetic judgment. If it has appeared in a book... It would be nice if there was at least official artwork of it of some kind somewhere. yeah Yeah. um Okay, this is from Kevin Maroney.
01:11:16
Speaker
I love Kevin Maroney. This submission is Terminus Est, Severian the Executioner's Sword from Gene Wolfe's The Book of the New Sun. You know what's weird is there's also a Terminus Est in Castlevania Symphony Night.
01:11:35
Speaker
I think there are a lot of other Terminus Ests in other things. Yeah, I believe the kind of defining feature of this sword is that it is squared off at the tip.
01:11:47
Speaker
It's blunt. Because it's an executioner's sword. Correct. ah All the art I'm finding of it, is it looks like that, yeah. Yeah. ah I mean, I think that's cool.
01:12:00
Speaker
And art that I am seeing representing it Pretty fucking cool. It's got like like faces on it, on the cross guard. But i am I am unfamiliar with it in it ah in its sort of native ah media.
01:12:20
Speaker
I have never read this book. no yeah I think a AC might have, actually. Because I know she was reading some some Gene Wolfe stuff recently. Yeah. i mean It looks cool.
01:12:33
Speaker
I do like it. i i'm just I'm giving some fair warning here now. like If you send us something reasonably obscure,
01:12:48
Speaker
we may be unable to rank it. And that is no that is no reflection on your submission necessarily. But, but you know... we We're talking about swords from every possible medium here. yeah so I will say, look this sword up if you if you don't know it. they a I have seen the trope of an executioner's sword having a blunt tip elsewhere.
01:13:15
Speaker
i don't know if that was like invented with this sword. I actually don't know if that's like a historical thing, but who knows? But I mean, images I am seeing of this sword are pretty fucking cool.
01:13:31
Speaker
Alright, here's our next submission. It is from um Ryan Bielick.
01:13:41
Speaker
And Ryan says, In honor of sending in giant slabs of raw and iron that are shaped like swords, I'd like to submit the Moonlight Greatsword from the FromSoftware series of games. If you need to settle on just one version, let us pick the Dark Souls 3 version.
01:13:55
Speaker
ah Here's what's wild. I actually know what this sword looks like. Yeah. I at least know a little bit about this sword, because it's cool as shit.
01:14:06
Speaker
Hey, the Moonlight Greatsword whips. Buddy, it whips and rips. Now, the Dark Souls 3 version is, I think, of the Moonlight Greatswords, potentially the most ornate.
01:14:26
Speaker
It has like a golden of
01:14:30
Speaker
And unlike other versions of the Moonlight Greatsword, it's got a little bit of metal um on kind of the lower end of the sword.
01:14:41
Speaker
in the In the image that I sent you, it's the third one there? I believe that is the Dark Souls 3 version of it, yes. um It's not my favorite version of the Moonlight Greatsword.
01:14:53
Speaker
I like that real big one. I think that's the one from Elden Ring. Damn. Am I going to have to play Elden Ring because it's got cool swords in it?
01:15:05
Speaker
yeah Yes.
01:15:08
Speaker
But I mean... Okay. But I'll tell you what my favorite version of the Moonlight Greatsword is. Okay. It's in fucking Bloodborne.
01:15:21
Speaker
Because... Of the way it's introduced. Okay, one, it looks cool as shit in Bloodborne. Oh, do you know what? That one, that big one, is the one from Bloodborne.
01:15:31
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's not the Elden Ring one. That's the one from Bloodborne.
01:15:37
Speaker
But the Elden Ring one looks pretty close to that, too. um Here's why I love the one in but in Bloodborne.
01:15:46
Speaker
It doesn't show up until the DLC.
01:15:51
Speaker
And there's this character... that you've been hearing about through the whole game. He keeps getting brought up. He keeps getting discussed as one of the only noble, brave, and upstanding people still alive in this world. His name is Ludwig.
01:16:15
Speaker
and is he the guy with the dog?
01:16:19
Speaker
The guy with the dog? No, I think maybe the dog's in a different game. Dogs and Dark Souls. Okay, Dogs and Dark Souls. Got it. Ludwig um was the ah the the leader of the Holy Iron Knights.
01:16:36
Speaker
And ah he... you just like Again, you're just constantly hearing about um his bravery and nobility and how he's like...
01:16:49
Speaker
one of the only people who who has like the ability to withstand um the horrors of this world. And then you get to the DLC, and you encounter this like beastly, ghastly horse monster.
01:17:07
Speaker
And you see on the screen, the name comes up on the screen, Ludwig the Accursed.
01:17:16
Speaker
So Ludwig, this holy... noble man, even he got got to. Even he got cursed.
01:17:27
Speaker
Even he has been cursed with being a beast. And he he became this kind of horrible horse creature.
01:17:37
Speaker
You get halfway through fighting him. The boss fight stops. And Ludwig, who to this point has only been like neighing and screaming,
01:17:50
Speaker
tall
01:17:54
Speaker
He stands up on his hind legs. He's also been on four legs the whole time. He stands up on his hind legs and he says, ah, because here's the thing.
01:18:07
Speaker
When you were fighting him in horse form, he had a sword on his back. He just didn't know it was there.
01:18:15
Speaker
It falls off halfway through the fight because you knock him over.
01:18:22
Speaker
He he like sits up. He goes, oh, you were by my side all along. My guiding moonlight. i forget the exact wording of everything he says, but he basically says, like I've seen my sword, and I remember I used to be a person.
01:18:44
Speaker
And he picks it up, and it's the fucking Moonlight Greatsword. And then you fight this horse monster standing on his hind legs swinging around a sword. It rules so fucking much.
01:18:57
Speaker
Listen, man, I'm going to tell you. That sounds wild as hell. It's so good. And I love every piece of what you're telling me right now. It's so fucking good.
01:19:09
Speaker
He remembers he was a man. He is the only beast you encounter in the entire game who that happens to.
01:19:17
Speaker
Wild. yeah It's my favorite boss fight ever.
01:19:24
Speaker
Just... I have a question, matt um I actually have several follow-up questions if I can. um One, does he have hooves?
01:19:35
Speaker
Yeah, he's got hooves. How's he holding a sword with them hooves? ah Great question. um He just kind of does. Okay, cool. Well, he's got hooves, but he's also got arms. So, like, some of his legs have hooves, and his, like,
01:19:52
Speaker
he's also got arms that he can swing the sword around. Wild. um it Is this like a centaur situation or does? No. Okay. He's, he's definitive flat. No, no, I'll send you a picture of what he looks like. Okay. He's, he's a freak.
01:20:08
Speaker
He is as freakish and gross as, as you might imagine. Um, he, his boss arena is just full of blood.
01:20:20
Speaker
Um, ah Delivering on the the premise of the title. Yeah, full of blood and corpses. i literally don't know what I'm looking at. Yeah, he's he's he's a monstrosity. Like, an absolute, total monstrosity.
01:20:36
Speaker
he's ah He's a real nasty freak-o. Yeah. um That thing next to his head, full of eyes, um it breathes. I'm not really sure what part is the head in what I'm looking at. I think I see teeth.
01:20:51
Speaker
so yeah so that So his head is like right in the foreground okay yeah with teeth and there is two eyes. Next to that is like what looks like another neck hole.
01:21:03
Speaker
ahha It's full of eyes. Right. um And that breathes. Cool. That's not where eyes go. No. um Bloodborne is full of eyes not being where they go.
01:21:16
Speaker
Everything you're telling me sounds cool as shit, Matt. And again, I know the aesthetics of this sword. Just because I very routinely Google cool sword.
01:21:29
Speaker
Well, I'll tell you this. Because it's the version from Dark Souls 3, I'm going to ding it a little bit. I mean, we can look, we can make it the version from Bloodborne. There was an if in that request. What was submitted was the version from Dark Souls 3.
01:21:42
Speaker
Well, keep in mind, we also like we're not going to rank 17 other versions of the Master Sword. No, and we're probably not going to rank any other versions of the Master Sword.
01:21:53
Speaker
ah Moonlight Greatsword. So we can say this is the this is the specific, like we can rank them all as one and and say this is specifically what is represented here.
01:22:03
Speaker
Okay. Well, if we're if we're saying it's the Moonlight Greatsword from Bloodborne, which is my favorite, it's a nine. A nine. Wow. Okay. Tell what you and me like. big sword Big swords.
01:22:17
Speaker
Because it is easily and by far the coolest looking sword in every FromSoft game. But it isn't the best sword in any of them.
01:22:30
Speaker
See, that that's frustrating for me. because i want like Especially in a game where you can... Symphony the Night, you can see the sword, but you're not like carrying it around.
01:22:44
Speaker
Yeah. like you see the like You see the sword when you use it. But if I'm playing one those games, I want my dude to look cool. You know? Yeah. Well, you could you could do a build. You could make a build for Bloodborne or any other FromSoft game where the Moonlight Greatsword is potentially one of the best swords you can have for that build.
01:23:09
Speaker
But that the thing about FromSoft games is that You're going to play with different builds for which different weapons work better. And so... There are very few builds for which the Moonlight Greatsword is the best sword.
01:23:28
Speaker
Because the Moonlight Greatsword is ultimately going to be good mostly for magic builds. um Because I believe usually um what you need is for your faith to be really high.
01:23:43
Speaker
to effectively use it. So it's only really good if you dump a lot of your stats into Faith. It's the long and short of it. It's funny that you say you can you can have a build that it is good, but that I can't.
01:23:59
Speaker
You could. i'm I'm sure it's possible, Matt, but I can't. That's not skill set.
01:24:09
Speaker
ah it it Also, in Elden Ring, it has a different name. It's called the Darkmoon Greatsword in Elden Ring. um Let's see. Tell you what, this spreadsheet does not want me to put a a WebP in it.
01:24:26
Speaker
but um Yeah, WebP is the worst image format. Can we just fucking stop using those? Just go back to go back to so JPEGs and PNGs. Come on.
01:24:37
Speaker
I was saying faith, but in Elden Ring at least, it's intelligence that you've got to scale for the Moonlight Greatsword, or the Dark Moon Greatsword. See, i don't I don't like having to be smart to use a sword.
01:24:50
Speaker
Let's see what it is in Dark Souls. How smart was that fucking horse, man? Very. Very. um Yeah, it's intelligence in Dark Souls, too.
Character Building for Sword Usage
01:25:01
Speaker
So, I said faith. It was intelligence.
01:25:04
Speaker
Yeah. Which is a magic stat. um It's a stat for being able to cast spells. And so like if you've built a character that you want to use swords with a lot, then you're not going to be putting your stats into faith.
01:25:18
Speaker
You what I'm saying? I think if one thing is clear right now, why would I make a character who was not going to use swords a lot?
01:25:30
Speaker
um Ryan, that generated a lot of good discussion. i It made me think about ah the the fight against Ludwig the Accursed, um which which who becomes Ludwig the Holy Blade.
01:25:43
Speaker
And goddamn. Goddamn.
01:25:48
Speaker
ah The full speech the full speech is Ah, you were at my side all along. My true mentor.
01:25:59
Speaker
My guiding moonlight. And I would invite you to go watch that boss fight on YouTube somewhere. Because let me tell you what else. The music in that absolutely kicks ass.
01:26:14
Speaker
It's... god i I think about the Ludwig boss fight all the time. Okay. Okay. One or two more, and then we got and then we're done for this sesh.
01:26:29
Speaker
All right. ah This one is from Jeffrey Wickstrom.
Famous Swords in Media
01:26:34
Speaker
And this sword submitted here is Hellfire, Travis Morgan's sword from the Warlord comics by Mike Grell.
01:26:43
Speaker
A forgettable magic sword from a cult favorite comic they've tried and failed to revive revive a half dozen times now. I've never read Warlord. like i'm I'm familiar with him because I am something of a comics guy.
01:26:58
Speaker
ah So I know about Travis Morgan the Warlord and how he looks exactly like Oliver Queen and how oh when Rick Flagg was presumed dead, it was when he went to Scar Terrace.
01:27:11
Speaker
um But I don't know a thing about this man's sword. it It looks pretty... Standard issue. the The entry for it on the DC wiki is not Hellfire. It's Warlord's Sword.
01:27:29
Speaker
Which does not speak well of it. Yeah. um It's got like kind of like a ah unique hilt, I suppose. i mean, yeah, it's it's it's cool looking.
01:27:42
Speaker
I don't know. We don't want to rate it. we We're not familiar enough to rate it.
01:27:51
Speaker
Yeah, looks cool. Looks cool.
01:27:56
Speaker
I mean, I would say this is it would probably end up being a 5 or 6. I
01:28:03
Speaker
i don't know. it Look, it could be cool. I am not going to read 50 issues of Warlord to find out. yeah I will tell you that right now. Alright. ah How about this submission from Dan Black?
01:28:18
Speaker
Okay, this is one... Okay, we've already done this one. Dan submitted before listening to the episode and submitsed submitted the Master Sword. 10 out of 10. X out of X. But in this case, I will use the backup because we already rated the Master Sword.
01:28:37
Speaker
The backup submission from Dan is Narsil, the shard of Narsil, the sword that was broken. Alright, so we're talking about... You're talking about Isildur's sword.
01:28:49
Speaker
Well, Elendil's sword. It's the sword that Isildur picked up. Right, right. the ah The sword that did cut the one ring from the hand of Sauron. Right. but then But then it was broken.
01:29:00
Speaker
Yes. Now, here's what I'll say. There's a sword that's better than Narsil. Oh, yeah. and oh I don't even have to say it. I think we all know.
01:29:15
Speaker
Narsil! Is it in this spreadsheet yet? But yeah. here's Here's the thing about Narsil. ah if if we're going to say it If we're going to say it like Tolkien wants us to, it's Narsil.
01:29:29
Speaker
Narsil. ah denato see i'm talking about I'm talking about a sword forged by Telkar at the end of the Second Age. Here's thing about Narsil. It breaks. It breaks.
01:29:44
Speaker
ah huh right it it gets stomped on. um It breaks. You would think that would be a bad thing. You would think that would be, like, the Z-Sword ranked very low because it broke.
01:29:59
Speaker
right And we don't really know I i mean, oh sorry, I did misspeak. ah ah ah Telkar did forge the Narsil during the First Age.
01:30:14
Speaker
ah Sorry. I said second age. Sorry. Sorry. Hey, I'm sorry.
01:30:21
Speaker
um We don't know what Narcil really got up to in in the the first and second age.
01:30:33
Speaker
However,
01:30:36
Speaker
I will say it's I do think it balances it out that after it was broken, yeah it still cuts the ring off Saren's hand. It notably cut the ring off Saren's hand after it was broken.
01:30:53
Speaker
yeah Yes. ah it it The name, by the way, does mean red and white flame in Quenya. So there is ah there iss a through line between Narcila and then the sword.
01:31:07
Speaker
Of course, the sword that is reforged. ah But Yeah, man. it's It's pretty good.
01:31:16
Speaker
But this is a weird thing where we know one is better. Well, he here's the way I think about it. ah I feel like Narsil is to Isildur
01:31:33
Speaker
as Andoril. Andoril, yes. Andoril is to Aragorn. And I don't just mean they each own the sword.
01:31:44
Speaker
Right. I mean, like, Isildur was pretty good, but he got tempted by the ring, right? Right, right, right. So he wasn't as good as he could have been.
01:31:56
Speaker
Goddammit, it's another web pee. It's
01:32:01
Speaker
fucking pissing me off. no Both Aragorn and Anduril are the levels up. from Isildur and Narsil.
01:32:16
Speaker
Now see, that's very interesting. That's very interesting. because i mean Because the weird thing about Narsil is it's it's not... It wasn't Isildur's sword. It was Elendil's.
01:32:27
Speaker
Right, yeah. But Elendil died. But Elendil died. Yeah. Like, that's, you know... Like, that's gonna happen. ah But I think you're right. Like, you know... like In the way that the line of kings is broken...
01:32:40
Speaker
But is then reforged when Aragorn II, the son of Arathorn II, does ascend to become High King of Gondor and Arnor, with with the blood of Numenor in his veins.
01:32:52
Speaker
um The line of kings is reforged in the same way that the sword itself is reforged. So it's it's, as George Lucas would say, it's like poetry. It rhymes. Yeah, yeah.
01:33:03
Speaker
If this is a fucking WebP, I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. There's got to be... They've got to start putting in image searches a way to not have to get a WebP.
01:33:15
Speaker
I don't understand why they... Like, why... Okay, like, everything's going to be a WebP. All right. Then why doesn't Google Sheets know what a fucking WebP is?
01:33:29
Speaker
Like... like why don't If you like make if it works on one thing, it should work on another thing. and We already have shit that works on another thing. i don't i don't know what to tell you.
01:33:41
Speaker
I don't know what to tell you. I'm furious about it, Matt. I think Narsil is a... not
01:33:50
Speaker
I mean, another thing to consider, by the by the end of the Third Age, it is still sharp.
01:34:00
Speaker
Yeah. Boromir cuts his finger on it. Oh, that's right. yeah Yeah. And he goes, still sharp. yeah On the pieces. On the pieces on display. On the shards.
01:34:10
Speaker
The shards of Nicycle. Yeah, yeah. My thought is six. I could maybe go seven, given that it does... i think six is good.
01:34:23
Speaker
i think six is good. Yeah, I think it's six. It's an above-average sword, for sure. Sure, but it's, but you know, it broke. yeah It broke.
01:34:35
Speaker
There's a demonstrably better sword. Yeah. Um. But yes, ah the sword of Elendil is, I think i think it's a six.
01:34:48
Speaker
The red and white flame. Um. Okay. We're going to do one more. Okay. And then we've got to be then we gotta be done. um this was This is a very funny submission from Isabel.
01:35:04
Speaker
Isabel says, you know what sword I hate? All black the Necro sword. Get that null bullshit out of here. Love
01:35:19
Speaker
hey hey
01:35:22
Speaker
love it
01:35:24
Speaker
like lot of people send it in swords that I think they're like, this is a cool sword. Send us some fucking swords you hate. I think Isabelle is right. If we're talking about a sword that is trying too hard, Lord have mercy.
01:35:40
Speaker
All black the necrosword. Like, look. The god butcher used it, and that was kind of cool. But as soon as it became some null shit...
01:35:55
Speaker
You lost me. oh Oh, see...
01:36:03
Speaker
See, this is anti-symbiote bias coming out, I think. Well, All Black is itself a symbiote. It is a sword that is a symbiote.
01:36:15
Speaker
Yeah, here's here's the thing about here's the thing about when it gets to Null.
01:36:21
Speaker
The clue's in the name, son.
01:36:25
Speaker
All black. yeah The Necrosword. Once it gets to know that shit ain't all black anymore, it's red. It looks like carnage. yeah So I'm like, I'm even kind of all like with you.
01:36:41
Speaker
like I'm kind of with the Necrosword, all black the Necrosword, when it's Gore the God Butcher's. Yeah, it looks cool. It is cool then. Yeah, like and it kind of forms out of like like weird symbiote shit and like forms into a sword. I think that's cool.
01:36:58
Speaker
But once it gets to Null, it is... It it is like For good or ill, what if Carnage was a sword?
01:37:09
Speaker
Yeah. And I don't think that's terrible. But I don't think it's good. Like Null, it's trying so hard to be cool and badass.
01:37:28
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
01:37:31
Speaker
And if you're trying to be badass, you're not.
01:37:37
Speaker
I mean, Matt, I don't... I feel like a lot of swords are trying to be badass, and a lot of them succeed.
Upcoming Sword Rankings & Submissions
01:37:45
Speaker
But, like... a lot of swords are just effortless effortlessly badass by being a sword.
01:37:52
Speaker
This one is like, oh, this is a cool sword that you can make into anything you want, and also like one time Galactus used it to cut the Earth in half, and also um um um it killed a billion gods.
01:38:03
Speaker
and I mean, Matt, you're using a voice, but everything you're saying is fucking cool.
01:38:12
Speaker
Like, ah sorry, Matt. What you're saying is fucking cool.
01:38:19
Speaker
Galactus used a sword to cut the earth in half and it killed a billion gods. You're going to sit there and try and tell me that that actually doesn't sound rad.
01:38:29
Speaker
Like, fuck off, dude. Come on. Get serious. Be for real right now. That panel of Galactus cutting, that I don't think that's Earth. I think that's a different planet. But that panel of Galactus cutting that planet in half with all black is pretty pretty great, honestly. and i And the first fucking picture I found of it was a JPEG.
01:38:51
Speaker
Okay, but that cannot be our criteria. That can't be our criteria. I'm just saying ah it's it's predisposing me maybe just a little bit.
01:38:59
Speaker
ah It killed a billion gods and cut the earth in half. That's fucking cool!
01:39:07
Speaker
I mean, i it's it I feel like it really straddles the line between being actually cool and trying so hard to be cool. Well, I think like many things, the longer it's around, the less cool it is.
01:39:24
Speaker
Because like when it shows up and it's Gorr the God Butcher's sword, like ah it's pretty cool. Right? Killed a billion gods. Yeah.
01:39:36
Speaker
By the time it gets to be Gnol's sword that's also a symbiote that isn't even all black, it's literally its name. It's literally the name. It's... it I can't get my head around that. It's the name of the thing. Yeah.
01:39:54
Speaker
Like, that's when I think you lose me. When it becomes Carnage. When it becomes Carnage. Yeah. yeah And I like Carnage more than you. But even I'm like, that's where it's Carnage.
01:40:06
Speaker
Yeah. um I'll tell you. This is going to be higher than I think you want. And I think probably higher than Isabel wants. But my initial thought is is four. i i was goingnna I was going to suggest four.
01:40:20
Speaker
Honestly. Really? Okay. yeah okay i think like i Because of the gore use of it.
01:40:30
Speaker
Oh, and the the photo you have, the or the image you have that you found that was a JPEG, is um that bit where it becomes the Anihilab blade? Uh-huh. Fuck off.
01:40:43
Speaker
ah I chose that picture because ah ah Gore the God Butcher is in that ah panel saying, Behold the Necrosword in its truest form. Yeah.
01:40:54
Speaker
So that has to be, if that is it in its truest form, then that is the visual representation I want. Yeah. I think it's a four. I think it's a four. I think you're right that it's a four. I've seen worse swords than this.
01:41:08
Speaker
Oh, so certainly. Certainly. Here's my question, though. um And this is this is maybe one a thing that you can think about. Is it the worst sword in Marvel Comics?
01:41:19
Speaker
Yeah.
01:41:21
Speaker
Marvel Comics got a lot of swords. We'll find out. I mean, we've definitely gotten more so other submissions of other swords in Marvel Comics. so Right. ah So, we'll see.
01:41:33
Speaker
So that's our that's our final sword for the evening. Yes. we got We got five of them ranked. We got five of them ranked. We had to disqualify one for not being a sword. We also had to not rank a few for not knowing well enough about what the sword came from to be able to rank it.
01:41:52
Speaker
Yeah. Um, ah there will be more of that. Like, I'm just going to say straight up, there will be more of that. There's going to be stuff people submit where we're just like, we haven't read it. We haven't seen it.
01:42:03
Speaker
And we're going to be getting into a lot of anime swords, I think. So maybe I should start watching bleach now.
01:42:16
Speaker
ah But yes, ah but folks, hey, you know what a sword is. You know what isn't is and it's not a sword. Come on. Wolverine's Claw. Unbelievable. unbelievable Unbelievable.
01:42:32
Speaker
Not the only person who suggested Wolverine's Claws, I have to say. Madness. But just ah just to recap tonight's progress, the Krsaigrim from Castlevania Simply the Night, 10 out of 10, owns.
01:42:45
Speaker
ah The Six-Fingered Sword of Domingo Montoya from The Princess Bride, that's an 8 out of 10. The Moonlight Greatsword, specifically ah choosing the Bloodborne representation per mat, that's a 9 out of 10.
01:42:59
Speaker
Narsil from Lord of the Rings, a 6 out of 10. And All Black the Necrosword, a.k.a. of the and the Annihilablaid, there's and There's another a in there, which is wild.
01:43:11
Speaker
Annihilablade. Annihilablade.
01:43:15
Speaker
Annihilablade. I kind of love that, I'll be honest. um Is a 4 out of 10.
01:43:23
Speaker
Alright, if you would like to send us a sword to rate, you can do it at our email address, which is warrocketpodcast at gmail.com. I talked about all of the instructions for correctly submitting last week, so refer to those to make your submissions.
01:43:40
Speaker
ah You can also contact us, ah in addition to at our email address, by hitting us up on Blue Sky. We're on bluesky warrocketajax.com. We're on Tumblr, warrocketpodcast.tumblr.com.
01:43:54
Speaker
We also have a Discord that you can join if you ask us for an invitation in any of those places on any of those places I just mentioned or on our Patreon um for the Discord. We will send you an invitation and you can join over there as long as you're nice about it.
01:44:12
Speaker
um
01:44:14
Speaker
Our website is warrocketajax.com. It is every episode of the show we've ever done. Warrocketwiki.com is the fan-run repository of all the information you could ever want or need about this show, Warrocket Ajax. If you want to find me and my stuff, go to mattdwilson.net to find links to my comics, my books, my other podcasts, and my social medias. Chris, where can people find you?
01:44:35
Speaker
hey Everybody can find me by going to the-isb.com. That is my website. It has links to everything that I do and some things that I have written. Thanks for listening, everybody. Yeah, we'll be back next time, ah maybe, with some ah some new friends to talk to.
Podcast Conclusion & Social Affirmations
01:44:50
Speaker
Until then, thank you for listening, and do not forget, Black Lives Matter. Trans rights are human rights. As are abortion rights. Drag is not a crime. Diversity is not a problem.
01:45:01
Speaker
And cops aren't your friends. But we love you. We love you. Yeah!