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152 - Cobra (1986)
84 Plays1 year ago
"This is where the law stops and I start, sucker!”
With a fourth (!) Expendables movie dropping in theaters this weekend, we're polishing up our Aviators and sliding on our leather gloves as we hit the dark and gritty streets of L.A. with Sylvester Stallone's Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti! Join us as we talk about the rise and fall of Stallone's career, late-stage Cannon Films, and so much more!
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Transcript
00:00:22
Speaker
Hey
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:23
Speaker
yo, it was the disenfranchised podcast with a podcast all about those franchises of one, those films that fancy themselves like full fledged franchises.
00:00:35
Speaker
but fall flat on the face after the first film. I'm your host, Steven Foxworthy. And joining me as always is my co-host, Tucker. Hey, Tucker. Hey, yo, absolutely. Absolutely. Yo, we're just a couple of good guys who got to ask a lot of bad questions. Yeah. Hi, Steven. How's it going? It's going, man. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm doing well.
Expendables 4 and Cobra Discussion
00:01:03
Speaker
Oh, man, Tucker, there is in defiance of God's will a fourth Expendables movie dropping this weekend. There is. Yeah. And so, look, we've we have we've we've we've we've threatened it for a while. But it's finally time for us to talk about a Sylvester Stallone movie on this podcast. And so what Sylvester Stallone movie did we choose to talk about today? Tucker.
00:01:32
Speaker
We're talking about Cobra, the coolest VHS box ever. I'm gonna need you to do another take of that and I'm gonna need you to say it like you did in the G.I. Joe episode. How did I do that in G.I. Joe episode? Cobra! Thanks. So what movie are we watching this week, Tucker?
00:01:58
Speaker
Uh, well Steven, we're watching the Sylvester Stallone classic, also best VHS cover ever.
00:02:09
Speaker
From 1986, it's Cobra. Written by Sylvester Stallone based on a novel by Paula Gosling, directed by George P. Cosmatos. And starring Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen, Renny Santori, Andrew Robinson, Brian Thompson, John Herzfeld, Lee Garlington, Art Lefloor. What a cast, Tucker. What a picture.
00:02:38
Speaker
I will agree, this director has made some really good movies. Based on what I have heard, he did not really direct much of this one though.
00:02:50
Speaker
It shows it fucking shows. Yeah, this is this was his I mean, Stallone kind of came in and threw his weight around is what I is what I am given to understand. He went. He came in there and put his thing down. He put his thing down. He flipped it and reversed it. All right. And you go in there and put your thing down. All right. You put your thing down. But yeah, this is the man who also gave us the best Rambo movie. First Blood, Part Two.
00:03:20
Speaker
and Tombstone, which is fucking wow. Big, big fucking disagree.
Rambo Series and Stallone's Film Choices
00:03:24
Speaker
I think First Blood is the best with Rambo, the fourth film in the series, being the second best, two and three being worthless piles of garbage. Two is the one where it where Rambo becomes Rambo, but.
00:03:39
Speaker
It's not I'm sure I'm sure you think last blood is probably the best of the best of the best. Right. Oh, that one is the worst of the entire fucking series because they take what was great about the first one and the fourth one and they pretend like that's what it's going to be.
00:03:54
Speaker
But then they just shit down its throat. Hmm. Fucking hate that was so disappointed. I think that's the most disappointed I've ever been in Sylvester Stallone. Wow. And look, let's be honest, a disappointing performer, Sylvester Stallone, just generally speak. Maybe for you.
00:04:12
Speaker
I think he's the shit. I think he makes bad decisions. That's what I mean, though. I think he's a very fucking talented man because you haven't seen Copland, man. I still have not seen Copland. I have not seen the remake of Get Carter. And I have also. Well, the movie's OK. He's good in it. The movie's not that great. It's fine.
00:04:32
Speaker
I have not seen what's that? Michael Caine shows up, which is kind of fun. I mean, the original Carter. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I saw the original get Carter. The original got Carter's fucking incredible. Oh, yeah, it's really good. I think that's the only reason the remake isn't as good, because if it weren't called get Carter, it would be just fucking fine to come off of the original. It just it. It doesn't really do anything right, except for the casting.
00:04:57
Speaker
And I mean, let's be honest, Rocky, fucking great franchise. Like we love Rocky. Dude, you got to get into those. You got to get into those Sylvester Stallone deep cuts, man. Stuff like I see you, which was this detective movie he did that was really good. You got to see.
00:05:18
Speaker
Fist future episode of Tukey takeover aka Straight up fist. We're doing that one in February. I think I think we're doing parents. No. Yeah, we're doing yes fist in February Yeah, that was the movie. He did right off of rocky bombed, but it is Amazing and it has much better politics than this piece of shit
00:05:40
Speaker
I mean, yeah, no, the no, the politics are bad because let's let's be clear. Cobra is just Dirty Harry if he just really had his head up his own ass. This is like Dirty Harry meets Deathwish cranked up to 11 is what this is.
00:06:01
Speaker
And it's kind of the last movie like this of this era. Like they don't make them like this anymore. They really can't, shouldn't make them like this anymore. We're glad that they did, but we don't need any more. Correct.
Canon Films Exploration
00:06:17
Speaker
Which again, this because look, we're covering on this podcast, which means they absolutely wanted to sequelize this and it didn't happen because this is right around the time when Canon is crumbling.
00:06:32
Speaker
Uh, which we did talk about cannon. Okay. Yeah. Let's let's, let's do, let's talk about cannon. Like Tucker, what is your, what is your history with cannon films? What is your favorite cannon film? Do you, what, what movie do you think of when you see the cannon logo across the screen? Like we did for cobra today. I don't, um,
00:06:53
Speaker
No love for Canon. It's it's something that kind of slipped under the radar. I've probably seen stuff I'd have to pull up like list of Canon films. Because see, here's the thing I cannot imagine you seem like the kind of person who would dig some Canon movies.
00:07:18
Speaker
okay I'm in 68 okay nope nope nope nope crucible of horror maybe um silent night bloody night I did used to own that that's something I'm aware of eye monster something I'm aware of but I have not seen blood feast I know that one okay here's more modern here and by modern I mean the 80s okay happy hooker
00:07:50
Speaker
Are these all? Oh, there's Death Wish 2. Yeah, I was going to say they did a lot of the Death Wish sequels. Yeah. But like break into Electric Boobaloo. I was going to say they did break in, which is the far superior film out of the two, which is people really love the title of the second one. I mean, look, they rushed the second one into production and it came out later the same. Oh, they did a rapping. Yeah. They were like, look, we found success with street dancing. Let's let's try rapping.
00:08:20
Speaker
Yeah, this is Delta Force. I'm aware of that. But this is really just a big blind spot for me, because these aren't really the kind of B movies I was into. Texas Chainsaw 2. Yeah, I'm into that for sure. Oh, yeah. I love that. That's my one of the best sequels of all time. I am with you on that. I think you and I are in the minority on that. But I talked on Pod in the Pendulum. Literally no one else wanted to come on that episode. So it's just me and Mike talking about how much I love the sequel to Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
00:08:47
Speaker
It's so good. Yo, they did Alien from L.A. Have you ever seen Alien from L.A., Stephen? I have not, Tucker. It's a movie that stars Kathy Ireland. OK. And she wears big glasses and she speaks in a squeaky voice the whole time on purpose. It's not even her voice. It's part of the character. That sounds really. And it's it's about this gal whose dad disappears and he's like a scientist.
00:09:16
Speaker
And she is looking for him and she finds herself in like this underground world, very much like kind of like
00:09:24
Speaker
Little Monsters meets something like Tank Girl. Mm hmm. It's a really, really weird movie and it was actually a sequel to it. I don't remember what it was called. I saw it on season seven of Mystery Science Theater back in the day when that was airing.
Cobra's Origins and Stallone's 80s Career
00:09:39
Speaker
Right on. Oh, they did the TV show DC Follies. OK. DC Follies, the creepiest shit you've ever seen in your life. Nope, sure don't. It was a political comedy where all of the politicians on the show were played by creepy ass fucking puppets. Hmm.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah, I remember that when I was a kid. We used to watch that shit. But yeah, this is a big blind spot to me, because like I said, at this time, when this kind of stuff was coming out, when I would have been interested in this, I was strictly into horror. And I was actually talking to this, just talking about this to someone earlier today. It's like I am a lover of all cinema, but my roots are in horror. Right. That's how I became a fan of all cinema is I got my start in horror. That's where I began my love for cinema.
00:10:24
Speaker
So at this time, like, yeah, it would just be a blind spot. I would encourage anyone who wants to know more about the history of Canon and kind of their rise and fall and everything in between. There is a 2014 documentary by Mark Hartley called Electric Boogaloo, The Wild Untold Story of Canon Films. I watched that during quarantine a couple of years ago, and it is really fucking good.
00:10:53
Speaker
It is a really, really good documentary, and it kind of made me want to like go watch a bunch of of canon movies, honestly. I'm for sure interested in the documentary. What is it streaming anywhere? Let me find out. And then after this, you're going to ask me my history with this film, right? I am. Yeah. And I know I know exactly what you're about to think.
00:11:19
Speaker
No, I mean, look, Canon is kind of on their way. They're losing relevance around this time. I think the same year that this movie comes out, they they're they're.
00:11:34
Speaker
making their last film that's going to be Oscar nominated, which is the Christopher Reeve film Street Smart. Basically, he comes back to do Superman IV, so they'll let him do that movie. And it was not very well received by most people, but it did end up getting an Oscar nomination, I suppose. So there's that. But yeah, that was kind of his like
00:12:03
Speaker
the thing that he that was like his little passion projects. The electric boogaloo is it looks like it's available to rent. It looks like on YouTube, but I do not see it streaming free any worse. Oh, no, it's not on YouTube any longer. That's a bummer. Double boo. Yeah, it doesn't even look like it's I think you can rent it. I'm looking to see if you can rent it anywhere.
00:12:34
Speaker
lost forever. I'm not seeing it. That's that's kind of a bummer. I would again, if you if you have the means and can find it somewhere to check out, I definitely would recommend checking that out because it is. It's very fun. It's a very fun little movie. So worth your time. And again, if you're interested at all, in that I would
00:12:56
Speaker
I would do so. So yeah, Superman quest for peace came out the same year. So yeah, he does it because Canon agrees to fund street smarts or street smart period. Just once, just once smart, but smart.
00:13:12
Speaker
Um, but I mean, this is, uh, so that's, I'm sorry, that, that comes out the following year. This is 86, that's 87. Uh, but they also have, um, around this, uh, time they're releasing, uh, Toby Hooper's life force, which is very expensive. Uh, the masters of the universe movie, which is a huge debacle. Uh, that one performs so poorly that they like scrap the sets and use them for, uh, uh, give them, uh, to, um,
00:13:41
Speaker
Pune Albert Pune to make to make a movie like it just just a classic fuck up across the board there.
00:13:51
Speaker
But yeah, I mean, Canon, they made cheap B movies and in some instances made them fairly well and were able to make a lot of movies that most people wouldn't know other studios probably would have made, which is why Canon's always got a little respect for me. I'll always put some respect on the Canon name for sure.
00:14:12
Speaker
Um, but yeah, that's, uh, that's, that's kind of canon. And that's the studio that this comes out of. Um, the origin. Uh, well, let's, before we get into the origins of this movie, let's talk about our histories with Cobra Tucker. What is your history with Cobra Cobra? Well, I've always been very interested in this film, but I've never seen it. You were very excited to finally cover this movie. Very much like the Phantom.
00:14:40
Speaker
Something I've always wanted to watch, but I've just it's just never found its way to my eyeballs. I have always been very interested in the VHS box art from the time I was a child until now. It's just iconic. It's very simple. It's it's like it is the 80s action movie box art. It's perfect.
00:15:05
Speaker
Stallone never looked better. I mean, it's it's amazing. It's the one image of this movie. It's Stallone with the gun in the sunglasses like it's an aviators. Right. That's that's what I mean. And that is his in his mouth. That is the primary look that he gives in this movie. He is serving that look, as the kids might say. Well, I've always enjoyed that.
00:15:34
Speaker
that box art, but I never watched it. Now, I do have history with a lot of the people involved in this film, which is another reason I was very excited to see it because our good friend George P. Cosmatos. Mm hmm. Not to be confused with his father, who was just George Cosmatos. Sure.
00:15:57
Speaker
who directed Zorba the Greek, by the way. Oh, it matters. But yeah, his dad was a big name in Hollywood before he was. And I have always been a big fan ever since I caught it on HBO when I was a kid of a little movie called Of Unknown Origin. Hmm. Which is directed by the same man who directed Cobra. And I've Unknown Origin stars Peter Weller. Your boy Peter Weller.
00:16:27
Speaker
He fights a rat. The whole movie is about this rat that gets into his house and fucks shit up. And Peter Weller fights that rat. And that's the whole movie. Interesting.
Stallone's Career Highlights
00:16:41
Speaker
Yeah, if Barbara from Neither Living Dead were telling it, she would say, and Peter, Peter, he he fought this man. That's how she would say it. Yeah. And he ripped at me and he pulled at me.
00:16:56
Speaker
Johnny has the keys. Thank you. That's my Barbara. I'll be here all week. But anyway, I've unknown origin. Amazing. One of my favorite. It is a creature feature. I call it a creature feature because it is kind of a monster movie, but it's just a rat. But the thing kind of like goes through. Yeah, it is kind of like Willard sort of, except there's no like relationship between the guy and the rat. It's just there.
00:17:20
Speaker
He's trying to defend his home and this rat is just destroying everything. And it's amazing. Yeah. Also. Like we said, he directed First Blood Two, which, you know, not my favorite Rambo Rambo film. Absolutely not my favorite, but also the star of this film, I have a very rich history with, as I was touching on before. Right. And and I think
00:17:47
Speaker
That's one of the reasons that this movie is more disappointing to me than it probably would be for most people is because I have unrealistic expectations for Sylvester Stallone. And by unrealistic, I don't mean I don't I expect things from him that he can't do because I know he can do them. I've seen him do them. Right. I expect things from him that he's not willing to choose.
00:18:13
Speaker
Like that's my thing with Stallone is like, he's, he's one of the best to do it. Like writing, directing, acting, all of it. He's one of the best. He just, he stays in his lane too much. Like he knows his audience and I wish he didn't like, because the, the movies where he steps out of his comfort zone and does something different are just.
00:18:37
Speaker
Fucking amazing. Those are the best performances you'll see from him. Stuff like like fist, as I mentioned before, right? Like you're going to want subtitles when he he gets excited. But other than that, which is kind of hard for the chorus first lie. Let's be honest. Amazing. Love that man. Like seriously, like a big influence on me as an artist, just like some of the stuff that he's done, how he's pulled it off.
00:19:05
Speaker
You know, like big inspiration. Love me some Stallone. And I think that's why for this movie, he's just, it's like, it's like when you see Vince Vaughn in a Vince Vaughn movie and then you see him in True Detective season two.
00:19:26
Speaker
It's like that. OK, I've seen I've seen good Stallone and Stallone's not bad in this movie. He's just kind of he's just strolling through it. He's strolling through this movie. This is easy for him and it's good, but it's easy. It's too safe for me as far as like being a Stallone fan the way that I am. This is too safe for me. I mean, this is this is Stallone at kind of the height of his
00:19:52
Speaker
startup. This is Rocky for Stallone, because as you know, the Rocky movies reflect what's going on in Stallone's life when they were made. This is Rocky for Stallone when he thought his shit did not stay. Literally, this is his immediate follow up to Rocky for. Yep. It's so he's. Let me let me walk you through Stallone's 80s, so his big break, obviously, 76 Rocky.
00:20:21
Speaker
Like the height of his power is top of the world. He waits two years. He does Fist and Paradise Alley, which I think is might be the first movie that he directed, if I'm not mistaken. I want to say that's right.
00:20:40
Speaker
I know he directed Rocky 2. Well then that comes out the following year. That's 79, Rocky 2. You get Nighthawks in 1981, which is he did not direct, but he's in the movie Nighthawks in 81. And then also in 81, Victory, where he plays I think a soccer player opposite Michael Caine.
00:21:02
Speaker
Michael Caine's in that movie, too. So, yeah, the stars of the stars of Get Carter. It's a swing and a miss, but an admirable swing is what I'll say about that movie. Then in 82, you get Rocky 3 and First Blood. Big year for Sly. And then in 83, literally, this is the number one movie, The Week I Was Born. Mm hmm.
00:21:26
Speaker
his directorial debut or I'm sorry, not his debut, but another film that he directed. Staying alive and alive. I think the first film he directed that he's not in, maybe the only one that he's directed, he's not in. And then the year after that, it's Rhinestone. And then he does. Mm hmm. Then he does 85 people can suck my butt. I like them in 85. It's First Blood, part two and Rocky four.
00:21:56
Speaker
So like this is where like you've got the great year of Rocky three, first blood eighty two. And then this just ramps up. All of those. And so like Rambo takes what first blood does and just ramps it up to eleven. Rocky is all over it. Yeah. The whole tone and point of the fucking movie. They just shit all over it. But like that's the that's making him a damaged man, a realistic Vietnam vet. They turn him into a fucking in
00:22:25
Speaker
invincible superhero and it's disgraceful and it sucks. You're right. But also when you think of Rambo, you think of first blood part two. Yeah, I will. I will concede two and three are amazing fucking action movies. Awesome. Like the pinnacle of 80s action movies. They just don't sit well with me because first blood exists.
00:22:44
Speaker
If the Rambo character started with First Blood 2, that would be fine. But everything they set up in the first one is so grounded and so emotional and so real and so painful. Well, so much pain in that fucking movie. The novel ends in the movie was supposed to end with him. You can see the deleted ending with him committing suicide. Right. Which is how it should have ended. But we can't make a sequel of that.
00:23:08
Speaker
So that's that's literally what they said. And that's why we have what we have now. Yeah. Tucker. Yeah. Do you know and I want to I want to confirm that this is actually correct. But do you know what the highest grossing film of nineteen eighty four is? Eighty four. And I promise this is all going to make sense.
00:23:41
Speaker
I don't know. I believe and again, I'm going to double check my math on this to make sure that I am not just talking out of my ass because I do that sometimes. It happens. Yeah, I will do that. But I believe the highest grossing film of that year. Or maybe it's the number two. I don't know. We'll see. What is it? Get on with it, Steven. Fuck me.
00:24:08
Speaker
Um, it is, I believe it is a little movie called Beverly Hills Cop. Yeah, I believe the alternate title was do do do do do do do ellipses. Absolutely. Go Axel Foley and Judge Reinhold sticking bananas and tailpipes. Axel Foley, Judge Reinhold. You got to love it.
00:24:30
Speaker
And fucking Bronson Pinshit from Perfect Strangers. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, Beverly Hills Cop, the number one highest grossing movie of 1984. Now, do you know who was originally supposed to star in Beverly Hills? Alone. It was Sylvester Stallone. He was supposed to start it, but he had some thoughts on the script.
00:24:54
Speaker
And so he took a pass at it as he does. And basically what happens is he infuses it with all these action movie ideas and it becomes too unwieldy in the studio is like, we can't afford this. And so Stallone says, all right, I'm out. Peace. They recast. They they go a complete 180 and they cast like. The polar opposite, they cast Eddie Murphy.
00:25:22
Speaker
The sucky thing about the really fucking shitty thing about it is is they don't recast the love interest character, but they don't make her the love interest anymore because Eddie Murphy is black and you can't have a white woman and a black man together on screen. It's fucked. It's at that one. It's at that one movie with Sidney Poitier and. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Was that called where she's blind? You seen that? You seen that, right? No. Is that called? Yo, it's on Turner Classic Movies, man. It's on HBO Max. Watch it right now.
00:25:53
Speaker
It's called I hate that we're getting soft subject, but you have to see this movie. I mean, it is. Look, this is what happens when you and I do a podcast together. We get off topic. Yeah, Brett's not here to rein us in.
00:26:07
Speaker
Yeah, this is really this is Brett's fault. A patch of blue. It's called a patch of blue. Never seen it. And it stars Sidney Poirier and I'm sorry, Shelley Winters. How do I get this to mix up? That's a great question. Because Elizabeth Hartman is that that's why. Yeah. OK, I get it. Anyway, Shelley Winters is a blind woman.
00:26:28
Speaker
And she meets Sidney Poitier in a park and she's like escaping this horribly abusive home life of these people that abuse her. Her parents abuse her and just use her because she's blind and she can't like do anything.
00:26:43
Speaker
Mm hmm. And so she runs away and she meets Sidney Poitier and like he takes her in and they like fall in love and shit. And it's really cute. And they straight up kiss, dude. And this is in nineteen sixty five, sixty five. And so like 20 years later, we can't have Eddie Murphy being romantically involved with the white woman. Also, before we move on, patch of blue, watch patch of blue. It's on Max.
00:27:10
Speaker
Go on the Turner classic movies thing, watch Patch of Blue. It's so good. And honestly, any Sidney Poitier that I can get now is great because I can't watch the movies, the wonderful fucking movies he did with Bill Cosby anymore. Like, let's do it again. Oh my God. Such a good fucking movie. All those movies he did with Bill Cosby are just...
00:27:32
Speaker
Amazing, but fuck Bill Cosby. I can't like if it if I didn't have such a history with him, then I could probably still be like, it's like Kevin Spacey. I'm like, yeah, that guy's an asshole, but this movie's the shit like Bill Cosby. Cosby was my dad, man. My other dad growing up, Bill Cosby was my slightly darker, complected father.
00:27:53
Speaker
And, like, I just felt so betrayed when that shit came out. I can only imagine how his victims felt, but I'm saying, like, I'm so, so invested in Cosby. I owned so many of his comedy albums on vinyl. So funny. Have you seen what he did with City Party?
00:28:10
Speaker
No, I don't want to, man. I don't want to, because I don't want to talk about Cosby, man. You need to. I want to. No, it's a wound, man. It's an open wound. No. I still feel betrayed. The whole thing is reckoning with exactly what you're talking about, and you need to watch it. And it's W Kamau Bell, and Kamau Bell is amazing. I know you told me about it. You need to watch it. I'll watch that if you watch a patch. If you watch a patch of blue, I'll watch the Cosby documentary. OK.
00:28:35
Speaker
deal. The reason I brought up all the shit about Beverly Hills Cop. Yeah, there was a point to all of that. We were getting somewhere. I was trying to. And then you had to go on this whole Sidney Poitier tie. Sidney Poitier. Oh, look, I get it, but he has nothing to do with Cobra. Look, one more thing. His daughter cannot hack her way out of a paper fucking bag. Sidney Poitier, the gal, his daughter,
00:29:05
Speaker
Oh, she's bad, man. She's the worst part of death proof. She's like if Quentin Tarantino wrote a character that was supposed to be him, but then he actually played it. Like she's that fucking annoying. Oh, I can't stand her in that movie and everything else I've seen her in like the apple fell way far from the fucking tree on that. I'm sure she's lovely. I don't mean any disrespect, Miss Poitier. I know it sounds like I'm going real hard, but I'm sure you're a lovely person.
00:29:34
Speaker
I know you're a frequent listener to the podcast and probably a patron. So I apologize. I just think you're acting and deathproof is just really annoying. And I fucking hate it. It's almost a deal breaker if the rest of that movie weren't so damn good.
00:29:50
Speaker
And speaking of that, yes, I really don't know why you had to fucking say any of that. That has nothing to do with any fucking thing. That's just you being bitter. It's something it's been something that's been on my chest for a long time and I have not had any kind of opportunity to speak out about how much I cannot stand.
00:30:10
Speaker
her in that movie. We're going to cover death proof one of these days, man. We're going to cover the house. I won't say I won't. I won't cover death proof unless it's going grind house together as a thing. Yeah, it's going to happen. And you know me, I'm a purist. You're something you're in my purist is what you are. Yeah.
00:30:33
Speaker
Anyway, anyway, basically says Stallone. No, this is too expensive. We can't make this movie. So he takes all these ideas and takes them over to Canon and folds them into this script. So this is if you want to know what Sylvester Stallone's Beverly Hills Cop would have looked like, it probably would have looked a lot like this movie.
00:30:56
Speaker
Um, which the fact that this, I mean, this, that I'm mentioning those two in the same breath is fucking weird as shit. Like it, these, the movies have nothing. And again, Eddie Murphy came into Beverly Hills cop and made that his own and then did two sequels. Whereas this is what Stallone does. And this is again, this is Stallone.
00:31:17
Speaker
At the top of his at the top of his game, this is Rocky four and Rambo three, like the year before. And his next movie is over the top of his best, one of the best a movie. I know you. I know you love over the top like that. Made me halfway. Across the sky.
00:31:41
Speaker
I just love whenever he turns that hat around and the engines just start revving. Yeah, dude. You got to take it over the top, man. That's how you beat pinball kid, too. I'm sorry. Rambo two. I said Rambo three. It was Rambo two. And then after that, you get Rambo three. You get lockup.
00:32:00
Speaker
And then you get tango and cash. And then we're on the Stallone downslope. It's Rocky five. It's Oscar. It's stopper. My mom will shoot future episodes of this podcast. Cliffhanger and Demolition Man. Oh, I like both of those movies. I know you do. And then he does a movie called The Specialist. And then another future episode of this podcast is Judge Dredd. So there's literally good. But I like it.
00:32:27
Speaker
I've literally just mentioned four Stallone movies that we will cover on this podcast one day. Should we do a Stallone theme month? Can we? Yes. Yes. And but but can we also can we but can we do Assassin's do with him and Antonio Banderas? Was that a sequel? No, it's the next one on his it's the next one on his list, man.
00:32:49
Speaker
So after Judge Dready does Assassins, then Daylight, then the movie that you just will not shut up about. I've tried, but Copland. Cop Motherfucking Land. And it's one of those few films like Payback with Mel Gibson, where Studio Maybe was right because the theatrical cut is a lot better than the director's cut. A lot better. And now in the in the in the speaking of
00:33:19
Speaker
on Copland, there's not a lot of just the ending is different and it's not really that different. But the theatrical ending, I think, is way, way better. Fits the tone of the film a lot better. OK. So, yeah, see Copland. Don't I mean, after you've seen and enjoyed the theatrical cut, check out the director's cut, because there's some stuff there that's not in the theatrical cut that's really cool and adds to the story. But overall, theatrical cut is where it's at. Fair enough.
00:33:48
Speaker
But so, I mean, and then after that, it's ants get Carter driven ICU, which you mentioned earlier. Yeah. Avenging Angelo. Shade,
Stallone's Personal Life and Directing Role
00:34:04
Speaker
which is, I think, a poker movie spy kids three like it just and then then we get to 2006.
00:34:12
Speaker
And we get the resurgence. It's Rocky Balboa. The second best Rocky film actually is kind of tied with the first one for me. It's Rocky Balboa better. And then a couple of years later, he does Rambo. And then a couple of years after that, he does Expendables and he's back, baby. He does, you know, the occasional bizarre thing like he's the voice of Joe, the lion and zookeeper.
00:34:42
Speaker
Um, expendable to bullet to the head, escape plan, grudge match that movie where he and Robert De Niro are boxing. Yeah. Like, and that's the closest we'll ever get to seeing Rocky take on Jake LaMotta. Um, which, you know, right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:01
Speaker
Which is, in my mind, one of the all time greatest films. I mean, you know, we love for sure. We love Uncle Marty, you and I. I don't think Brett loves Uncle Marty in half as much as you and I do. I think Brett's pretty indifferent. He recognizes. I think he hates Martin Scorsese because Martin Scorsese doesn't like the MCO. That's well, you know, I I'd like to talk to Marty about that because I think he's being he's going a bit too far with it.
00:35:26
Speaker
We all have our own opinions and Uncle Marty is completely it. You know what? He's different time. Like, of course, he's going to have different opinions. But I love Uncle Martin. But yeah, so this is Stallone at the height of his power. And from what I understand, he's kind of a nightmare on the set of this movie. Like the supporting cast is not allowed to talk to him on set. What? But that lady was his wife. Well, Brigitte Nielsen, like the supporting cast. OK.
00:35:55
Speaker
Like Art Lafleur is not hanging out with Sly Stallone in between takes, OK? Oh, that's too bad. As much as you and I both love Art Lafleur, as everyone should, Art Lafleur is a fucking legend. Were they married? They met on Rocky IV, right? Or were they married before Rocky IV? So, yeah, let's get in. So, yes, Rocky or Rocky Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen were
00:36:18
Speaker
I believe married for a while. Yes. And you know, I don't blame him because she is just a tall, beautiful broad. I'll tell you what is man. She is gorgeous. A big old beautiful hunk of woman. So they married in 1985, so it may have actually been she's six one. She's she's she is an Amazon.
00:36:40
Speaker
Is what she brought. Yeah. So she we actually covered Brigitte Nielsen on this podcast previously in our Red Sony episode. They.
00:36:53
Speaker
Apparently, they had an affair on the set of that movie. That's the thing that I learned. Her and Schwarzenegger, yeah. And then they became engaged on the set or during Rocky IV. And then they married in December of 85. So they're married at the time this movie comes out. She still came back for Creed II as well. She was surprised to roll from Rocky IV and Creed II. Nice. And they divorced in 87. So their marriage was very, very short lived.
00:37:24
Speaker
But they remained friends. They did. They they've they've remained close. But yeah, no, Brigitte Nielsen, fucking amazing. But they're married on the side of this movie at one point. Again, this is according to IMDB trivia, so take it with a grain of salt. Apparently Stallone comes up to the the DP and is like, you know, we're over budget where you've got to like, you know, knock this out, you've got to
00:37:52
Speaker
you know, have your team speed up and all this stuff. And the cinematographer is Rick wait is the cinematographer looks at him and goes, Well, maybe if you get your hands off Brigitte Nielsen's ass and stop showing off for your bodyguards, we wouldn't have any time problems. And Stallone Stallone's just like, kind of shocked that anyone would talk to him that way. But he does like he like chills out a little bit and like, remains checked. And
00:38:23
Speaker
Yeah, it was it was kind of one of the same with this. Later he comes in is like, no, he has a good sense of humor. You know, he's got a huge ego, but yeah, he's also, you know, he's he's he's a funny guy and he's got a good sense of humor about himself, even if he does, even if he is egomaniac, he's got a good sense of humor about himself. And he's the one there. He's the one that basically says now Stallone directed this movie. Cosmatos didn't really have much to do with this. Stallone directed this movie.
00:38:49
Speaker
Which, why didn't they just have Stallone direct it? I mean, he's proven himself as a director. Even before this film, over and over, like. And I.
00:38:59
Speaker
I don't know if Cannon could have afforded to have him write direct and star it probably like a two out of three situation because you should get a discount if you're if you're you know, like a bulk discount. Well, like like Korman and and Kaufman, Golan and Globus are like they are making these movies as cheaply as humanly possible.
00:39:27
Speaker
So that budget doesn't move once that budget is set. Mm hmm. The fucker does not move. And so that that becomes then. So I'm guessing that probably has something to do with that or they have a deal or something with Cosmetos who had again directed his big hit from the previous year. First blood part two. So like that's.
00:39:51
Speaker
kind of where where he's at. So, you know, he comes with Stallone on that. And this is probably the last I think the last time they worked together. Well, and maybe maybe that's the kind of relationship they had. I mean, you get actor director relationships like that, where the director is really only there. So the actor doesn't have to direct it. You know what I mean? Right. Like I can imagine in this situation, like with First Blood Part Two and probably in this movie,
00:40:19
Speaker
Uh, the director was probably just a vehicle for Stallone because he probably didn't want to have to do all of that, but it was still probably basically his.
00:40:27
Speaker
show, any Edward Norton movie that is ever, you know, right? Or I mean, I listened to the Blank Check podcast miniseries they did earlier this year on the films of Buster Keaton. And that was essentially how Keaton worked. Like they would keep giving him directors and he would fire them after a week, do it all himself, and they'd still get credit on the picture. Like it was just kind of how it worked out. And in a situation like this with Stallone and the director of this film,
00:40:54
Speaker
As long as it's amicable, doesn't bother me. Mm hmm. Doesn't bother me at all. As long as everybody knows what's going on, everybody's cool with it and everybody's getting paid. Bucket, make that movie. I mean, and that's why you get like the.
00:41:10
Speaker
the the poltergeist conversation of like, did Hooper really direct that or was that Spielberg and like, by all accounts, they were both on set and Spielberg was probably a lot more hands on as a producer. And I'm sure he and Hooper collaborated a lot like to hear Spielberg telling himself, they had a very special, very collaborative relationship and Hooper wasn't precious about it and would kind of like, let him have sway like you're the you're the boss. Yeah, I'll do it. That's fine.
00:41:38
Speaker
So and it's I think it's kind of it can be a situation very much like that. And it can be it can be a positive thing. Like, I think when you initially bring up something like that, it seems like a negative, you know, like, oh, Stallone was directing this from, you know, in front of the camera and this guy was just a puppet or whatever. But no, man, I mean, people have relationships like that, actors and directors. And it's just like it's just like TV directors. When you come on to a TV show to direct, you're basically just babysitting.
00:42:08
Speaker
Really? Because this crew has been working together forever. They don't need a director. They just need somebody to stand there and make sure everything goes OK. You got to make sure the cameras put in the right direction. You got to know when to say cut and action. And yeah, because this is not like this is not a very special episode directed by like the episodes of like CSI or whatever that Quentin Tarantino directed.
00:42:30
Speaker
Like he had some input into them, but like if you didn't know he directed him, you probably wouldn't fucking know he directed him. Like Kevin Smith has said many times about directing stuff on like the CW Arrowverse stuff. He basically just goes in and makes sure everything runs smoothly because they've got a rhythm. Like they know what they're doing. And you don't want to disrupt that. You don't want to throw that off. That can be a good thing. And I think that in a relationship like between actors and directors, sometimes that can be a positive.
00:42:58
Speaker
And we're just kind of speculate. We don't know if it was a good experience or a bad experience. Honestly, an awful giving the benefit of the doubt. Sure. And to do. Sure. But, yeah, I mean, we ultimately don't know. I don't think like I said, I don't think they work together again after this. So. So there's that that may have been an indication. I mean, true. He made Leviathan and eighty nine tombstone and he took three movies after this live in tombstone and shadow conspiracy.
00:43:31
Speaker
Nor have I. And then he passed away in 2005. Stephen Lang. Well, it's a stacked cast, though. Yeah, maybe I should watch this movie. There you go. Terry O'Quinn in this bitch. Sam Watterson. You fucking get it. We Gore Vidal. Holy shit. A shadow conspiracy. We're putting on a list, boys. There we go. There we go. We're able to.
00:43:55
Speaker
golly duke wild fucking wild but yeah so I mean so cobra is it is it reminds me of a trashy trashy like in terms of the visuals and especially in the early scenes like a trashy to live and die in LA
00:44:13
Speaker
It's
Cobra's Style and Comparisons
00:44:14
Speaker
like a really trashy, really cheap to live and die in L.A., which is a movie I adore, to be clear. I love to live and die in L.A. It's a beautiful movie. Billy Friedkin Live Forever. I know you passed away. R.I.P. King. To me, it reminded me of like a mid-career Larry Cohen film, but unironically. Hmm.
00:44:40
Speaker
I don't know if you've seen a lot of the mid-career stuff like Q the winged serpent or God told me to the stuff, you know, all of those movies that we can cover. I don't know if God told me to is, but it was like those movies, but they didn't have a tongue in their cheek.
00:44:55
Speaker
Right. And that's kind of part of what makes those movies work. And that's why for me, this didn't really work for me. And to the point that I think it's beneath Stallone, honestly, as well. That's why, like, I feel like I had unrealistic expectations for this film. So the fact I don't like this movie is probably fucking my own fault. Yeah. I expect too much. And I know the Sylvester Stallone doesn't always make the kind of decisions that I
00:45:24
Speaker
would like for him to as far as taking roles or signing on to movies. But I tend to just remember all the really rad shit that he's done. So whenever I see something that is in where it just does not work for me, it's just that much more disappointing. Sure. And I love the fuck out of that dude. And I get that. I absolutely get that. And I guess for me, I don't have that level of expectation for Stallone.
00:45:49
Speaker
Right. Like I I came up when he was like in the 90s. That's when I kind of started to know who Stallone was. So at that point, like he's in like a career nadir, like Judge Dredd, like that demolition man. That era is the era. I know. Yeah. Yeah. And those movies did not perform well.
00:46:11
Speaker
Um, at all. So like that's the Stallone that I know. Uh, that's the Stallone of my, so I don't have, and I didn't go back and watch the Rocky. I still have not seen every movie in the Rocky franchise. I've seen pieces of all of them, but I don't think I've seen every film in its entirety.
00:46:29
Speaker
And so that's a franchise I need to go back through and watch at some point. And I will. I'm sure one of these days going to have to at some point, right? It's an interesting watch because it really does reflect Stallone's career. Each film really reflects what he's going through in his career and his personal life at the time. And though they're not all great films, I would say the first one, the second one and the sixth one are great films.
00:46:56
Speaker
The ones in between are so much fun. It doesn't fucking matter. Like three, three and four are the ones I think I've probably seen most of. Like four, I think was the first one I ever saw. But, you know, three is the one with Mr. T. Like, how can you how can you fucking not like that? Come on. Hey, woman. Hey, woman.
00:47:20
Speaker
I love that scene. He gets so bad because he's like catcalls his wife and stuff and he's standing right there and they're in public and he's like, hey, woman, hey, woman, why don't you come over to my house, see what a real man looks like? No, you know, you know the story of the premiere of that movie, right? No, please tell me. Mr. T brings his mom to the premiere of that movie. And he's such a sweet man. That scene, she gets up and leaves the theater.
00:47:46
Speaker
No, Mrs. T. And so he follows her out and she's like, I didn't teach you to talk that way. Like, I didn't teach you to do to talk to women like that. And like, you're just like, but it's like, right. You're just like, I love them. But so so I so for me and I'm looking at the action of it and in terms of the action, this movie with
00:48:14
Speaker
It's chases and the like the fun. It reminded me a lot of John Woo's hard target. I was getting a lot of hard target vibes off of this. Which have you seen hard target? No, but I'm familiar with John Woo. I have not seen hard. That is his first American film. It's Jean Claude Van Damme.
00:48:37
Speaker
in a John Woo film about this like drifter who comes into this town and it's it's it's like 93 I think but it's like
00:48:48
Speaker
it could be this. There's a car chase scene and at one point he gets on a motorcycle and turns it around and stands up on it and drives back toward the truck while I think firing a gun. It's amazing. It's Wilford Brimley with a bow and arrow on a horse.
00:49:10
Speaker
You need to see Hard Target. You need to. I've got to now. You you fucking have. It's got like it's John Woo. It's John Claude Van Dam. It's Wilford Brimley. It fucking rips. It's very good, but it like ends in a warehouse kind of like this one, like not really a warehouse, but, you know, like a factory. So the endings are kind of the same. It's got those chases small town feel like it's
00:49:35
Speaker
It's all there, like it's, and again, I know this movie is supposed to take place in the city, but half the movie they're in like these small towns or on the outskirts of town, like this movie feels like it takes place in the suburbs and the rural areas more than it does the urban areas. And I think that's a budget thing, but I also kind of, I kind of love it for that too, at the same time. I really, something I did really like about this film was I did like, despite the overacting
00:50:04
Speaker
of the shooter, the guy who comes into the grocery store with the shotgun. Oh, yeah. I really enjoyed the beginning because not only did it really, really take me back to the actual. I remember when supermarkets used to look like that. And I remember when all the cars looked like that. I remember when people dressed like that. I remember how
00:50:27
Speaker
It wasn't as colorful in the 80s, more of a sepia tone. Yeah. Our eyes hadn't fully adjusted to color yet in the 80s. Look, we had it better than our grandparents. That's all we'll say. So I liked that. But I also like that first scene in the grocery store, the way it was shot reminded me a lot of Dog Day Afternoon. And I really fucking love Dog Day Afternoon. Yeah, it's a great. That was one of the first like like like real movies that I got into.
00:50:57
Speaker
I got into horror and then I worked at a video store and my friend was like, you should watch this motherfucker. It's not horror though. And I watched it and I was like, wow, there are things that aren't horror. This is amazing. Sydney Lamat, man. Hell yeah. And that is one of the five movies that John Cazale did before he passed away, tragically. That man
00:51:19
Speaker
Like every movie that he was in was nominated for Best Picture. I think that's right. As it should be, yeah. Because it's Godfather, it's Dogged Afternoon, it's The Deer Hunter, it's Godfather Part 2, and The Conversation. That's his five. That's all you need sometimes, I guess. Three Coppola masterpieces, a Lumet and a Cimino.
00:51:42
Speaker
Cut the check. Like that's a good career. That's you know, you got on top. You really do. I mean, it's such a fucking tragedy that he died. But absolutely. The body of work he left behind. And it is a fade away. Insane. And like he's the guy that like Al Pacino said was the best actor he'd ever known. Like he was he was fucking Meryl Streep, man. Like, do you know what else he said? You know what else he said about him? What's that? I heard that he said.
00:52:12
Speaker
that he's got a great ass. No, what he what he really said was, I know it was you, Fredo, you broke my heart. Well. Wow. Wow. Oh, God, Pacino.
00:52:35
Speaker
I feel like scent of a woman broke Pacino. Probably because he what he's doing and he makes sense. He's playing like a guy who's clearly doing coke so much. It's like he's like he's got an IV of coke. I'm pretty sure you never see him actually do it in the movie. But Pacino's like this guy does coke. And not only does this guy do coke, this guy does all of the coke, every coke ever, all of the time, every book everywhere, all at once.
00:53:09
Speaker
Oh, and then but then he does like that same fucking thing and sent of a woman where it doesn't make any sense. And you're like, and then he wins the Oscar for that one. And I guess he's just like, well, I guess this is just what you do now. That's what he does now. So maybe he eats the movie that broke Pachita. I don't know. Anyway, he fucking rules. But you know what else kind of is awesome? Cobra.
00:53:33
Speaker
I guess I thought or something I kind of dug. We I don't know. We're about an hour into this thing. We probably should. Yeah.
Cobra Plot Summary and Reception
00:53:39
Speaker
So this is this is a part of the show called the plot in 60 seconds. This is the part where we at the behest of the Canadian quarter of indifference will decide which of us will be recounting the plot of 1986 is Cobra in 60 seconds or less Tucker. Give her a flip.
00:54:04
Speaker
OK. Call in the air, Steven. One, two, three, go. Tails. Oh, shit. I dropped it. I got flipped again. Here we go. Are you going to keep it the same or call it again? I'll call it again. OK. One, two, three, go. Heads. It is tails, sir. Son of a bitch. I am in no mood.
00:54:28
Speaker
You can do it, it's really simple. It's really simple. It really is. So, all right, give me the, so go ahead and put six seconds on the clock. You're going to give me the 30 and the 10 second warnings, unlike last week.
00:54:41
Speaker
We don't have any late check ins tonight, so I won't see anyone pass by my window. All right. I did put the five minutes later. Oh, did you go last week? Yeah. Nice. I included all that stuff because it was just too too golden. I could. I figured you probably would. Yeah. So whenever you're talking, I'll hit the button.
00:55:08
Speaker
So a guy walks into a grocery store, starts shooting up the place. And who do you call? You call the cobra. So that's just alone with all black and sunglasses and shit. And he's part of the zombie squad, which means he does whatever it takes to fuck anyone up. And so he does. And then there is a model who's a witness to the night slasher, who's the serial killer. There's actually a gang of people who just like smash axes together in crowded rooms. I don't know. It's fucking weird anyway.
00:55:38
Speaker
30 seconds. Yeah, that. So she Brigitte Nielsen sees them committing their crimes. And so the killers come after her. So Stallone and his partner Poppy from Seinfeld have to protect her. There's a big ass shootout. They like go into the country. It turns out one of the detectives is working with the Colts. It's basically they go into a factory.
00:56:03
Speaker
And the night stalker gets scared on a giant hook and then lit on fire and Stallone kills like 40 people in this fucking. And that's time. Like they really wanted to get her like at a certain point, you just give up, but no, they just like all resources went. Mm hmm. All available, all calling all cars killed this bitch. Yeah. As soon as you're done, you got to mash your axe together a certain amount of times first. And then as soon as you're done with that, you go out with that bitch.
00:56:32
Speaker
Yeah, that was fucking bizarre. I should have said at the beginning, Brett Wright is standing in a crowded room full of people being accessed together. I should have said that at the top. I didn't. Yeah, it I don't know, man. There's something about it that's it's it's ominous. It makes no fucking sense, but it's pretty ominous. Apparently, there are Darwinist cults.
00:56:55
Speaker
Well, and you can get away with shit like that and stuff like The Warriors, where it's kind of kind of self-aware and it's kind of being a little bit silly while staying grounded, you know. But like in this movie, I don't know, it's supposed to be I feel like this movie presents itself as more grounded in a movie that spins a good
00:57:15
Speaker
percentage of his runtime showing people just mindlessly smacking axes together for no fucking reason that we can discern. In fairness, they spend less time on axe beating than they do on Stallone fucking just straight up murdering dudes. I mean, it kills the fuck out of some people. Like I, again, IMDB, so grain of salt. Of the 52 kills in this movie, Stallone's character killed 41 of them.
00:57:46
Speaker
Well, I mean, he's look, Stephen Stallone in this movie, Marion himself, Marion Cobra, Cobra,
00:57:59
Speaker
Yes. What a dumb ass name. He's just Dirty Harry. If Dirty Harry had a fucking ego. Yeah. All he is. Dirty Harry is his middle aged dude in a suit that just happens to be a fucking badass. I don't know if Cobra is a badass and he knows it.
00:58:17
Speaker
And so he buys the sunglasses like, oh, these will look cool. And he buys the sunglasses like, you know, it would be cool. It's like if I put a matchstick in my mouth and just had it in my mouth all the time and then eventually I'll bet in my line of work, eventually I will have a chance to set someone on fire with that fucking matchstick. Boy, that'll be a great payoff. Oh, you know, it looks good. The sleeveless shirt. Do you think this gun matches my jeans? Oh, that looks nice.
00:58:43
Speaker
I'm going to get some gloves and cut the fingers out of them. Yes, it's I don't know if we got this on the recording or not, but I this this movie is Death Wish meets Dirty Harry dialed up to 11. Yeah, like that's what this movie is. And it it sucks and rules for that reason. Like in equal measure, like the politics of this thing are no, like not at all.
00:59:12
Speaker
Um, like this, this, this guy is an unapologetic Vic Mackey from The Shield. Um, like that's, that's pretty much what this guy does, except not necessarily with drug dealers. Oh my God. He even basically word for word repeats Dirty Harry dialogue. Yeah. Like at the end when the, when the reporter's asking him all those stupid questions and he's like, what about, what about the rights of this guy? You got Dirty Harry be like, what about the rights of that little girl?
00:59:43
Speaker
Like, come on, it's the same thing. They're saying the exact same thing. So that his family. Yeah. These these movies are like a bloodthirsty pro gun conservatives wet fucking dream dude. Kill them all. Doesn't matter what they did. No context, no nuance. Fuck them. Kill them. They're criminals. Fuck them. They're dead.
01:00:07
Speaker
that's this movie and that's Dirty Harry too. Well and then so it's interesting like this is so we're nearing the end of the 80s which is sort of the end of the
01:00:18
Speaker
Schwarzenegger and Stallone and Jean-Claude Van Damme brand of action hero. Like we're getting, like Chuck Norris has started to make a couple movies and then in a couple more years after this, you get Die Hard, which completely shifts the game. Because Willis is a TV sitcom guy. He's not an action guy. And all of a sudden you're putting this moonlighting. Do ducks duck? Do flies fly?
01:00:44
Speaker
Like until they fucked and then I didn't like the show like completely lost me. You and everybody else. That was the whole point of watching. Come on, man. And every show that has a will, they won't do that builds up over time. Ratings always dip after they do. That's it's just what happens. If you haven't seen the first three seasons of moonlighting, I definitely recommend it is quality entertainment. It's one of those things I don't think I've even
01:01:09
Speaker
really engage that much with since it was on the air. It kind of makes me sad that Bruce Willis, I'm glad that he had an action career, but I wish he would have done more comedy because he is so funny in that show. His timing is perfect. He's so fucking charming. I just I wish he had done that and more stuff. And he tried to stuff like Hudson Hawk, you know, but it never went over well. And that's future episode of this podcast Hudson Hawk fan right here.
01:01:39
Speaker
Same. I love that movie. I do too. I'm a Hudson Hawk apologist. I will apologize for that movie all day long. But the... Shit, what was I gonna say? No, here's the thing about Bruce Willis. And I will just, real quick, I will just say this. He's a really good actor.
01:01:59
Speaker
Uh, and the late career stuff, once we knew what we knew was going on with him, health wise, a lot of those things that we kind of mocked him for in that era start to make sense. Like the man is sick and has, is, is, is having some issues and is not able to perform to his full ability. All that having been said.
01:02:21
Speaker
He's a really good actor and he I don't think America wanted to accept him out after after Die Hard. I don't think we wanted to accept anything else from him at that point. Yeah. But John McLean is funny, too. Like I know three die hards. The first in the first three die hards. He's very funny. Yes. Yeah. So I don't understand why that like he got typecast just on that one part of that role because he proved it in moonlighting.
01:02:49
Speaker
John McClain in the first three diehards is fucking hilarious. He's got the same kind of charm he did in moonlight moonlighting. He's just a badass. He's the same guy. Well, and I think I think there's it's for Bruce Willis. It's a two prong thing. It's getting older, but it's also it's the Stallone thing. It's the ego, right? Like the ego kind of gets in and becomes it's kind of its own poison.
01:03:12
Speaker
Um, so all of that, right? Um, I think the big sweat, or at least the thing that, but that happens between this movie and Die Hard that really sort of ushers in a new era with Die Hard in 1987 lethal weapon. And you get Mel Gibson as Martin Riggs. And again, it takes this kind of a character.
01:03:40
Speaker
and humanizes him so much, like distills all of the emotions that a character like that should be feeling and pulls them up to the surface. And again, it's the brilliance of Shane Black. And also, Mel Gibson fucking nails that role, too, like fuck Mel Gibson, but he fucking nails it. Look, nobody could have done that like he did. Here's the thing about Mel Gibson piece of shit human being. Pretty good actor and director.
01:04:08
Speaker
Amazing. Ransom, Jesus, Louisa's. Yeah, you've talked about ransom before. I'm going to leave that move. Whoo. It's just thinking about them. Nipples got hard there for a second, Stephen. Whoo. Oh, my nipples. It's a ransom. It's a ransom ransom. Speaking of Eddie Murphy. Yeah.
01:04:27
Speaker
But so again, there's this shift kind of happening in what it means to be an action star. And this feels like Stallone's last like chest beating punch in this genre. Like this feels like in the same way that the last action hero feels like the culmination of everything Arnold had done up to that point. This feels like that for Stallone.
01:04:55
Speaker
Like this feels like him, like the thing, the culmination of this era of his career. And I think in a very real way, Rocky IV will be, or no, because this comes up right after Rocky IV. So yeah, no, stands. I stand by my comment. So yeah, so this, again, this feels very much like a culmination of everything he's done. And then shortly after this,
01:05:22
Speaker
We start his downward slope. And so this is in a lot of ways, a turning point. Even what do you do? You just. Exactly. Go over the top and then down the other end of that mountain. You peek and then you you fall. That's just such an appropriately named film. I'm telling you. And sometimes this man's career and his life are just so synergetic that it's fucking ridiculous.
01:05:49
Speaker
complete insanity all coincidence, but just wow. Yeah, it's really, really interesting and fascinating. Yeah, so yeah, I mean, there it is. Yeah, like there. So yeah, I mean, so so there's there's a shift of a lot of things happening here. There's a shift in Stallone's career in the public perception of action movies and what we want from an action hero. And
01:06:15
Speaker
like the plan for a sequel for this, it makes a decent amount of money. We'll get into that here very shortly. Makes it very easy. I would watch a sequel to this. I would. Yeah. Even though I didn't really like it, it has potential for me specifically. I think worst alone's politics are right now. I don't want him to make a sequel to this. He's he's been so many places, man, because like the first thing he did after he hit with Rocky was make a pro union movie, dude.
01:06:44
Speaker
like the guy the guy is not he's not somebody who sticks to the left or the right. He's somebody who sticks to what he believes in. And even though I don't agree with him a lot of the fucking time, I was going to say this is the man whose most recent political statement was last blood. So.
01:07:00
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, like I said, I don't I don't agree with him most of the time, but I admire him for being his own person, not saying, you know, I'm a conservative and I believe all the conservative things or I'm a liberal and I believe liberal things. No, he's like, you know what? This that makes sense to me. And so does that. So I'm going to do my own thing. He seems a lot more thoughtful than the kind of meathead persona. I think a lot of us kind of pin on him. Absolutely. I've been saying that for.
01:07:29
Speaker
One of my, I'm just going to sidebar with a Stallone story really quickly because I think it's this, I saw this on TikTok. It's Tina Fey in like an SNL documentary. And she's like, so yeah, my first year there, someone had me go give Sylvester Stallone the note that he needs to enunciate more. No, why? What? No.
01:07:51
Speaker
And so she goes in like it's her first year. Like she doesn't know. So she goes in and she's like, oh, yeah, I'm getting sorry. I need the you need to enunciate more. And he's like, yeah, we'll put so they not understand. And Tina Fey just stands there and goes, of course he's gotten this note before. Of course he has.
01:08:12
Speaker
Like, of course this is something that people tell him. Yo, I was going to say, you know, like the the reason that he talks like that, like like when he was born, like part of his face was damaged and like he has nerve damage on the side of his face. And which is why Rocky Balboa and subsequently Creed, too, when he appears again briefly. Right.
01:08:39
Speaker
Homeboy from Heroes plays his son because he has the same thing. Milo Ventimiglia. Yeah, he has the same thing. Brilliant fucking casting. And not to mention he fucking knocks it out of the park in both of those movies. I think I heard him in an interview say, yeah, that was pretty much what I got. Fucking perfect. You know, actually, sadly, another reason he got the part is because Sylvester Stallone's son, Sage,
01:09:05
Speaker
who originally originated that role. Oh, that's right. Had died very tragically. He was a filmmaker in his own right. He did independent, like surrealistic. He was a real artsy fartsy dude. Like his shit is way out there. Hell yeah. It's really rad. And like it really sucks that he died because I think he had a very unique voice while also being in the position to.
01:09:30
Speaker
be someone who could bring that unique voice to the mainstream because of because of his heritage. Yeah. But yes, but, you know, I mean, that's cool. Like I would have been way into that. It sucks that he died for sure. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. But yeah. Yeah, but yeah, Mila Vince Melia is yeah, it's bizarre. But one more thing on stage alone, just to tell you how out there he was. Frequent collaborator with Crispin Glover.
01:09:59
Speaker
OK. Yeah, that you know what? Everything I need to know. That kind of how everything I need to know. There it is. That the the other side of cinema, you know, not just the real weird side of cinema, like because I didn't know if. Yeah. So that that really helps me narrow it down.
01:10:20
Speaker
Right on, right on. So Cobra opens in theaters on May 23rd, 1986. It opens at number one. And it opens at number one. It opens to 15.7 million. Yeah. I mean, basically because we're covering it. So like what? Here's the thing. Sometimes movies that do pretty well just don't get sequels.
01:10:49
Speaker
And I think, I mean, I don't know. Development hell I've heard of. Yeah, it exists. But yeah, and for all we know, it it could have it could have been any number of things. A lot of times it's something like script approval or whatever scheduling financing. Yeah, there's all of that many things that can go into.
01:11:12
Speaker
The in second place, another sequel to a movie we've already talked about in this episode. Poltergeist to the other side, which opens to twelve point four million. In third place in its second weekend down from number one the week before, a movie that just got a sequel for the first time, like last year, and it was one of the biggest movies of the year, a little movie called Top Gun. Aha.
01:11:42
Speaker
Tony Scott's top gun. I saw I've seen that new one, man. Yeah, I haven't either. I believe I believe that it's good, but I think it's probably too gung ho. Yeehaw.
01:11:56
Speaker
USA. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, the the the foreign power has no name in that movie. And nice throwback to the 80s there because it was always just some like unnamed Arab or like Asian person, you know, like we don't know where they're from, but they're, you know, brownish.
01:12:18
Speaker
That feels like a I mean, that feels like a late 80s, early 90s thing. Like once the once the Soviets can't be our enemies anymore and we have to focus somewhere else. Yeah, that becomes a persistent theme. Yeah, the only like specifically named villains from the 80s, I remember, were the Libyans. Yes, in Back to the Future. I mean, I sold a faulty ball of casing full of pinball parts.
01:12:51
Speaker
Uh, fourth place, uh, short circuit. Hey, I love that movie. Fisher Stevens, I think it. Fisher Stevens, it bears repeating, not Indian. Not no. I mean, like racism aside does a great job in the role. I don't know what to tell you. He's phenomenal in the role. I don't want to tell you that you have to start that sentence with racism, racism aside.
01:13:20
Speaker
No, but man, you got Ali Sheedy in that first one, man. You got Michael McKeon in the second one, dude is Fred. And then in fifth place, you got a little movie. I guess we're moving on from short circuit. Please go ahead. Yes, we are, because I want to wrap this. Oh, but Michael McKeon. Sorry. An Oscar input.
01:13:43
Speaker
Sorry, I'm done. I'm done. I swear I'm done. I have so much to say, but that's all I'm going to say. Dude, we can we can do short circuit two on unenfranchised sometime. You can get all your short circuit thoughts out. Yes, especially the second one. The first one is a superior film, but the second one is the more entertaining of the two. Fifth place, Michelle Pfeiffer film called Sweet Liberty. I have no idea what that is. I've never heard of it.
01:14:10
Speaker
Me neither. This movie makes about forty nine million dollars across its box office run, which is double the budget. I mean, yeah, that's it. So, you know, perfect sequel fodder, particularly for the, you know, the cheap cannon. And yet we don't ever get it. Probably because the loan like didn't want to come back for it.
01:14:36
Speaker
And that's something like Rambo, where you build on it, too. That's a series that's going to keep making more money. Exactly. Where a lot of the times you get a franchise where the first one is always, you know, the first one's always going to be the one that makes the most money. But the sequels make enough money that it it's they justify the continued existence. Yeah. But like something like this movie, at least the first couple of sequels would have made way more than this one. Right.
01:15:02
Speaker
There's no reason this should not have gotten again. I think Cannon is starting to lose steam at this point, which makes continuing something like this. It's going to require and particularly as the movies progress, they're going to get bigger. So yeah, you can't do a B movie as a sequel. You can't do a sequel on a B movie budget. No, you've got it. You've got a Terminator to that shit. You got to take that up to the next level in every respect.
01:15:32
Speaker
But yeah, so apparently critically, not well liked. The Tomatometer score on this one, 18 percent. The critics consensus that disengaged Sylvester Stallone plays the titular Cobra with no bite in this leaden action thriller, queasily fixated on wanton carnage and nothing else. Which feels fair, but also, I mean, it's fair, but also that's the kind of movie it is.
01:16:02
Speaker
Exactly. Pull your head out of your ass. Come on. Like I did not particularly enjoy this film, but I get why people like it. Like the reasons I don't like this movie are my own fucking fault. And it's a whole half a star is my own fucking fault. When we get to our ratings. Yeah, well, we'll get there. The meta score is twenty five based on generally unfavorable reviews from nine critics. And so.
01:16:27
Speaker
The letterbox score on this is a three point. Oh, Tucker, out of five stars, how are you rating 1986 is Cobra? Look, it gets three stars because I only liked it two and a half stars much, but it's my own fault for having unrealistic expectations for several people that are involved in the making of this film.
01:16:53
Speaker
So it gets an extra half a star because I know I'm just being a little bitch about it. So three stars, three stars. It's four for me. I'm self aware. Come on. I had a lot of fun with this one. I had a good time with it.
Podcast Promotion and Engagement
01:17:06
Speaker
It's I wanted to. I could see the fun there, but I was just having trouble connecting with it because of, like I said, my unrealistic expectations while I was watching this star.
01:17:17
Speaker
While I was watching this movie, I pulled out my phone so I could check Amazon to see if this was thing was in four on 4K yet. So I could buy. I'd watch this in four. I wouldn't own it. But I would watch the fuck out of this on 4K. The amount of film grain on that, that 80s shit, those lenses that they use.
01:17:37
Speaker
That's the good shit. That's the good shit right there. So, yeah, that, friends, that is our episode on 1986 is Cobra. We did it, boys. We did it.
01:17:55
Speaker
Cheers, high fives all around. This has been the Disenfranchised Podcast. You can find us on all the social platforms. It's Twitter, Instagram, Letterboxd, Facebook, and threads, at Disenfranch Pod. You can shoot us an email, disenfranchpod at gmail.com. Let us know how we're doing, what you think of what we're doing.
01:18:17
Speaker
any and all of that. We do love to hear from you. And hey, if we like what you have to say, we might even read it out here. Speaking of liking what you have to say and reading it on the podcast, swing on over to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcast and leave us a nice big old five star rating and review. That's going to help us find other listeners. And if you do leave us a review on a five star review on Apple Podcasts, we will read it on this podcast right in this little spot right here.
01:18:46
Speaker
And this is not the only show that we record from week to week. There's another show called What Are We Watching? And if you would like to hear it, you need to get over to patreon.com slash disenfranch pod, drop us $5 a month and you get access not just to our second weekly show, What Are We Watching, where we talk about the things that we watch on a weekly basis. And honestly, a lot of other stuff too. Like we had a good like 20 minute conversation just about beer tonight.
01:19:13
Speaker
beer and weed pins. Yeah, it was a deep, deep conversation. But and you get access to that plus movie reviews, commentary tracks, sister shows. It's all behind the paywall there. Patreon dot com slash disenfranch pod.
01:19:32
Speaker
days worth of content, so much content, like, and we've got we still got that seven day trial going on, Stephen. We do. I've not taken a sign up. You sign up for a seven day trial. Listen to as much of it as you possibly can. Forget to cancel it. And hey, we're all friends now. We're all family. We're like all of the disenfranchised podcast, Patreon. We're like Olive Garden. Everybody's family, man.
01:19:56
Speaker
You listen to our shit on Patreon. Like, even if it's an old episode, we straight up get an email that says that you commented on it. So, like, we will be there, especially me. I will be there in a flash to reply to your comment. Good or ill. I will be there. Yeah.
01:20:15
Speaker
Come engage with us. Be family with us on Patreon. That's the only way that you can be disenfranchised. Family. That's it. That's what it is, man. That's the only way to get unlimited breadsticks. Now I want breadsticks. That's the only way. I want breadsticks now. I'm not going to lie. Oh, I'm sorry, Steven. That's my bad. How dare you, sir? I can't believe I've done this.
01:20:37
Speaker
Anyway, I am your host, Stephen Fox, where you can find me on Instagram, Twitter and Letterboxd. I'm also on threads and Blue Sky at Chewy Walrus Brett, where he here he'd be at SUS underscore Warlock on Instagram and Letterboxd. Tucker, where can we find you these days? You can find me on hold on just a second. I'd like to apologize.
01:21:05
Speaker
because I feel like this episode went off the rails a whole bunch because of me, and this is not an excuse, just a reason. You see, I had a lot of things to say about everyone involved in this film, but as I was pretty much indifferent to the film itself, I didn't have a lot to say about the film.
01:21:27
Speaker
So if I steered the conversation too much and made it so that we didn't talk enough about Cobra, I apologize to any fan that that that might rub the wrong way. I'm sorry if you're a huge fan of Cobra and really wanted to hear us get much deeper on Cobra. Because all we talked about was like Cobra adjacent shit. And that's mostly my fault. So like, hopefully, like you still enjoy that because I'll probably still enjoy it while I'm editing it.
01:21:53
Speaker
But like, not everybody's me. And like, I'm a real big fan of me. So of course I'm going to love it like I can. I can attest he is a very big fan of himself. So hopefully it didn't turn out negative. But if it did, just know that I apologize. It's my fault.
Tuck Mugs and Recording Reflections
01:22:11
Speaker
Tune in next week where we don't talk about something that I have lopsided opinions about that have nothing to do with the film.
01:22:19
Speaker
You can find me on YouTube at Ice909, that's I-C-E-N-I-N-E, the number zero and the number nine. I'm also on the InstaScrams.
01:22:30
Speaker
at tuck underscore mugs and Yo, we just dropped the team at tuck mugs Just dropped a new tuck mugs post last week on the insta-scrams It's pretty rad something a little different I was talking about last week that we had a little bit of a shuffle of employees Some people had to go we had to get some other people going on nothing negative, you know, it's all amicable splits and
01:22:57
Speaker
but the new team we've got going on, I think you can see from the post that we posted last week, it's the same voice, but it appeals to maybe a broader audience.
01:23:08
Speaker
So just go to Instagram at Tuck underscore mugs. If you're into mugs, if you're into stuff that you can drink out of mugs, if you're into stories about how people came across certain mugs, it's for you. And, yo, I'm I'm putting out an all points, all points bulletin for people to submit more mugs to Tuck mugs because we've had some guests before. We even had his straight up gizmo mug on there. Yeah.
01:23:38
Speaker
And Brett had an umbrella mug from the Resident Evils. Mm hmm. And my good pal Jimmy from the Grand Voodoo Band had a mug on there. We even had a listener. Somebody we don't know from fucking Adam, dude. I don't know this dude. Oh, Stephen knows him. I don't know this motherfucker. But he sent us a mug and it was the raddest shit I've ever seen in my life. Hi, Andy. Hi, Andy. I guess we know each other now. We've been formally introduced.
01:24:08
Speaker
Uh, and he's a patron, so he's family. So it doesn't matter. Like we're already family. I don't know all my cousins, but we're all family, you know, correct. Anyway. Yeah. Tuck mugs. Check it out. It's really rad. It's it's kind of a cool thing on Instagram because outside of going to the search page and just seeing softcore porn or rolling through, you know, your friends just seeing pictures of their ugly kids, you know, like instead you can just check out some mugs, dude.
01:24:39
Speaker
There's no there's no steaks. You know, you don't have to. Well, no, because you don't put steaks in mugs. You put them on plates and cut them with a fork and knife. You know, I would argue that you could eat soup out of a mug so you could theoretically have steak out of a mug. I eat soup out of a mug all the time. Some people put steak in soup or you could eat stew out of a mug. It doesn't matter. This is the reason that I apologize for this episode because of shit like this. Thank you, Steven.
01:25:08
Speaker
Anyway, a steak and a mug sounds great. You know, actually, maybe the next tuck mugs, maybe I eat some soup out of a mug. It's been coffee for too long, man. It's been a lot of coffee. You know, it's starting to get chilly. Let's get some soup up in this motherfucker. You know what? It's fall, man. Perfect. Let's do some vegetable soup, man. Let's do it. We'll do another guest mug. Well, you don't like soup. I forgot. I don't do soup.
01:25:32
Speaker
Well, we'll get some soup mugs, see if we can get some next guest, put some soup in that motherfucker. What kind of soup are you eating? What's the story behind your mug? Let's do it. Email us at disenfranchpod at gmail.com with your tuck mugs submissions. And that's all that's all I'm on social medias. Cool. And that.
01:25:55
Speaker
That's it. That is our episode on 1986's Cobra, plus 20 other thoughts that Tucker had over the course the last 90 minutes.
01:26:08
Speaker
you guys I was telling Steven before the recording like I'm extremely manic all the time and I have like these down days where like I'm just completely dead and like I'm not depressed I just like I'm really sluggish and not normal Tukey mode you know not all like freaking out every second of the day
01:26:26
Speaker
But I don't know what happened. We started recording this podcast like everything. All the mania that should have happened today just like fucking exploded. I think that's what it is. I think you were having a down day and then we started talking and you just started getting all like Jojo the circus boy.
01:26:43
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I was like Al Pacino and heat But like no cocaine no cocaine needed. In fact, I'm I'm drinking Not stimulants. What's the other thing called? What's it called? Like I'm drinking beer and smoking weed so like this is me on depressants motherfucker Like get to this like you don't want to fuck with me in the middle of the day before I've drank any beer like had any weed because that's like
01:27:12
Speaker
Full-fledged Tukey right there. Whoo! Tukey Prime. Anyway. Oh, my God. Anyway. Bouncing off the walls again, you guys. It's like midnight. It's midnight 20. Yeah, we're going to need to pull the plug on this motherfucker. I'm going to go outside and run a lap around the campground. I believe it. I believe that you are. Can't wait. God, you look unhinged right now.
01:27:41
Speaker
Thank you. I love it. You're welcome. This has been the disenfranchised episode on Cobra. Kind of. I am your, I am your host, Stephen Foxworthy, for my co-host Tucker in the absent Brett Wright. Until next time. Puppy! Puppy Pete on my couch!
01:28:09
Speaker
Oh.