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00:00:01
Humpday HaHas
15 Plays22 days ago
Brit-Knee and Snotty talking all things comedy
FOLOW US EVERYWHERE bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Song Lyrics and Roots
00:00:14
Speaker
burning smoke down my roots, a winter's rolled up with some macros. It's in my jeans with the lyrics I speak, and my roots run deep like an old old tree.
00:00:28
Speaker
It's in my blood, it's in my soul, in the muddy waters that was down 44. So when I can't sing and my heart stops to beat, very
00:00:53
Speaker
through my veins
00:01:23
Speaker
Looking out, I've never been proud So this doesn't feel the same
00:02:20
Speaker
Through my veins
00:03:11
Speaker
That was so
Technical Issues Apology
00:03:12
Speaker
dumb. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to figure this shit out. I thought I could pause it. All of our stuff is so fucked up on here. We don't have the hump day ha ha stuff on here anymore. i couldn't figure it out. So that was...
Guest Introduction: James Luger
00:03:27
Speaker
ah James Luger. He's a dope dude. He comes on the um Glicks House of Music on Tuesdays. Didn't have my intro, so I just played his song. Figured he'd be okay with that.
00:03:43
Speaker
So, this is still hump day. haha We don't have Michael with us tonight, but we have the wonderful snot day. Bye, folks! Thanks for having me.
00:03:56
Speaker
yes How are you?
Snowed In and Illness
00:03:59
Speaker
I'm doing all right. Still alive. You know, my lungs, ground up my feet, you know? Yeah, the snow is fucking bullshit.
00:04:10
Speaker
Oh, well, you know, that was going to be a given, you know? okay I mean, it was going to be rough. Yeah, I totally like I was talking mad shit because everybody's like, it's gonna be so much time. I'm like, nah, they always said it's not gonna be anything. And I got snowed in for like three days at Terry's house.
00:04:32
Speaker
I'm just ticked off that it happened on a Sunday, because if it would have happened on like a Saturday, then it would have been plowed Sunday, and then I could have gone into work one day when I had to use any vacation days.
00:04:49
Speaker
Yeah, well, because you've just gotten over getting sick and all that, too, so it was like the worst thing ever. over I don't know if it was the RSV or if it was the flu or if it was some type of new strain of COVID, but it was no entertaining feat at all. It was highly... I would say 0 out of 10 would not recommend on Yelp.
00:05:16
Speaker
That's just me personally.
Comedy Beginnings and Influences
00:05:20
Speaker
Snotty was snotty. Snotty was naughty. i Snotty was snotty. Snotty was naughty too, but that's different story. Hey. Hi there.
00:05:33
Speaker
Hello. Happy Wednesday. hump day ah James Adewall, what's up, dude? Cheers, bro. never figure out where it is I just got home. So like everything is everywhere. I can't even open my freaking door all the way. i like, like was like throwing shit in and like, I so thank goodness I'm skinny. Cause like, I had to like slide in there. My ass got stuck a little bit, but yeah.
00:06:01
Speaker
I bet you're like, yeah, look at that. This bad ass getting stuck in this doorway here. I thought this big old dog can't even make it in the house. I'm like, thank goodness I don't have any tits. I just slide on in. Because it's so icy right at that my door. i can't I try to like get it. it's It's not nudging.
00:06:22
Speaker
It's too late in the night as well. It's fucking freezing. It is rough. I mean, i forget if it was today or yesterday. i was on my way into work. And it was negative four.
00:06:37
Speaker
You know, like legit, you know, just looks like a person taking a turd on my turlet on my little ah temperature control.
00:06:49
Speaker
Yeah. It's like really negative four. This is ridiculous. Don't kill us. Like, how does that temperature even exist? Negative four.
00:07:02
Speaker
okay so like I have a Canadian friend. He's always like, it's negative whatever. i i'm like, shut the fuck up. so i have always have to Google it. To be like, what is that? C to F. My car's Canadian.
00:07:19
Speaker
it's forever It's forever stuck on Celsius. I cannot figure that shit out. it's always Silly Tilly, Silly Tilly. You know it. Insectin' Xie.
00:07:31
Speaker
Mm-hmm. That's my babe. Black hair, blue eye beauty. I saw your car earlier and I was like, is that motherfucker here? was like, don't be a Blake. Who, me?
00:07:43
Speaker
I'd actually be okay with that. But no, I saw it was the same exact car that you have. And I was like, is that him, motherfucker? No, it's another redhead. Just randomly show up at your house. Hello, Brittany. That would be creepy.
00:07:56
Speaker
Could you imagine? yeah Hello, Brittany. i found your I found your address on the T-Yap or whatever. oh
00:08:07
Speaker
it Anyways, we're not going to get into that. So, comedy. What about it?
00:08:16
Speaker
What made you start comedy? like At what age did you think that you wanted to be like that funny guy? um Well, I guess like I started doing comedy at probably 21 years old. I actually hadn't even been... no i was probably 25, actually, when I started doing comedy.
00:08:41
Speaker
And I hadn't even been inside of a bar... Until I started doing comedy. Like I had never gone to a bar go drink in. I wasn't that type of dude.
00:08:52
Speaker
If I ever did get beers to be chilling around the house, you know, watching NASCAR or something like that. Uh,
00:09:01
Speaker
So, like, I had never gone to a bar, and was listening to podcasts at this certain time. So I used to be a DJ before I did comedy. I cannot see that. Oh, my gosh. That's a joke in itself right there.
00:09:16
Speaker
it's I mean, it's... i The thing is, is like I was never really talented at it. well but was' that was your how about It at it. It was that I wasn't passionate about it.
00:09:29
Speaker
And for me to go ahead and make Skrillex money, i had to be passionate about it. and I saved the side of your head. I just don't have it in me to go ahead and be that.
00:09:41
Speaker
Like, I could be an opener DJ for years and just make, you know, 50 bucks at freaking trash raves and renegades and stuff.
00:09:52
Speaker
and But to actually make money and be successful at it, I had... to lock in and start producing my own music and I was like, I'm not on be able to make it.
00:10:06
Speaker
So I just quit, you know, a lot of people would say isn't the best idea when you have dreams. It's like quit them. But you do have to know one thing about yourself, which is exactly how far you're able to take that.
00:10:24
Speaker
before like you know it's just wasting your time you know hi there chris hi chris ignition thanks for joining us so my comedy was more fulfilling than doing the dj well the thing is is that i was listening to podcasts at the time and i was really in a dark spot because i just didn't really have any direction at 25, you know, what 25 year old has direction in their life.
00:10:57
Speaker
Uh, but so I was just kind of in a dark way and I was listening a lot of podcasts at that point. And I started listening to like the Nerdist podcast and just a bunch of podcasts from my favorite comedy comic friends. Well, not friends, but my favorite comedian, you know,
00:11:17
Speaker
people Like Chris Hardwick and whoever had a podcast that was comedy based. And then they would have comics on as guests. And they would go back and forth talking about how they started comedy, what made them start comedy, ah and so on and so forth.
00:11:36
Speaker
And I i started noticing I felt the same exact way they did when they were getting into comedy. So I was like, you know what? Maybe I should just go ahead and try this out.
00:11:49
Speaker
And I went online and did all type of internet sleuthing to find the Facebook page for Pittsburgh Comedy Open Mics.
00:12:01
Speaker
And i went to the Moose Mondays. the thing is Hello. Okay. And what? Mondays?
00:12:12
Speaker
Yeah, I went to to Moose Mondays down on Carson Street in Pittsburgh. And I walked in there and I had... I had okay jokes, but i don't think I use any of them today. You know? um i But after I got off stage, the host walked over to me and he'd say, hey, man, how long you been doing this? And was like, this is my first one. And he's like, well, we got another mic after this across the river. Would you like to go to that? Like, I really think...
00:12:47
Speaker
You should go ahead and keep doing this. So why don't you do another one tonight? So I went to that Mike Hambones. And i did pretty darn well there too. um i went home that first night. And here's the i mean, I didn't kill. i didn't destroy.
00:13:05
Speaker
But i got some good chuckles. And I got everybody's attention. And that's when I thought I could do better than that. That's kind of how I felt on New Year's Eve.
00:13:17
Speaker
because i was totally like flustered of course but the thing is is once you get that i could do better than that on your mind then it's like that's where the sickness begins that's like that's that's how you full speed ahead hu Yeah, that that becomes your driving force. like, you know, okay, I could go ahead and trim this joke up better and perform it better next time. had it all set out, but it's like that blizzard and having to drive through that for hours.
00:13:50
Speaker
I mean, I completely understand. I can't tell you how many times I've been on a stage and you've had to drive three hours. ain't getting paid that day and you got 10 minutes to go ahead and fill and the crowd is arrested.
00:14:03
Speaker
And it's real difficult to go ahead and reign that in, especially when your emotions are high, you're buzzing, you're already nervous to get on stage.
00:14:16
Speaker
i mean i wasn't even that nervous. I was just like still just angst. Like I had just gotten there like a little bit before I had to go on stage after driving hours in the snow.
00:14:27
Speaker
But I still like I saw the face. I got laughs. I had people pull me aside to talk to me. So like I'm proud still of what I did. But I know in the back of my mind I'm thinking like there are things that I wanted to say in the way that I wanted to say it didn't happen just because of all of it. But it is what it is. I enjoyed it.
00:14:47
Speaker
I got lot That's why you do practice. that's That's what this is. You know, you you start out... um Well, I have, though. That's the thing. It was just, like, all the elements together just did not work. Oh, I understand. I've definitely been there where you're just... You come into the show and you're just...
00:15:07
Speaker
Your energy is off. I mean, the I was just listening to Joe Rogan today and he was talking to Adam Sandler and they're both going back and forth about their green room habits just because if they don't run those habits, then they're on a half like a terrible set and they're on a be off.
00:15:27
Speaker
yeah Okay, so speaking of habits, like do yeah I know you repeat jokes, but do you do it every single time? Do you repeat every joke every single time that you do things? Well, so I do it a couple of different ways. that So whenever I write jokes first off, I give them each little names and stuff like that, like single word names.
00:15:52
Speaker
Yeah, I remember you telling me that. then can chopping legs. you've told me that before and it does help Michael Copenhaver RIP for the night.
00:16:04
Speaker
Um, he told me the same thing. I talked to him about you like naming each of your like, bits. I hope that's a visualization because if you go ahead and do the laundry list like setup and even if you haven't really had time to go ahead and cram but you know your jokes you just don't know The lineup of it.
00:16:30
Speaker
You can start writing down your laundry list. It's best if you write it down on a piece of paper before you go up. Because what's going to happen is that's going to lock it into your mind. And then you can even set it on the countertop and just stare at it.
00:16:47
Speaker
well and then what's gonna happen is you'll be able to visualize that when you're on stage and you don't even need a list a small piece of paper like this and i think it might have been one of the drinks that you bought me that i brought up stage i had it michael told me one of the tricks is like to put it in your hand against the yeah drinkk that you have Or just on the stool Which I just had a tiny Piece of paper with the names Of I only had two jokes But still I mean there's people who bring it I mean Adam Sandler brings up a teleprompter
00:17:26
Speaker
Yeah, Adam Sandler doesn't give a fuck. I was just listening to a podcast about him today, so I'm i'm all Adam Sandler about today. saw a video of him. Somebody caught him at In-N-Out the other day, and he's just, you know.
00:17:42
Speaker
Yeah, he seems like a chill dude. he's like He's like, dude, I've been this same exact guy since I was 17 years old, and I just became a billionaire. How would I do it? Don't fucking know. Just pure dumb luck and just...
00:17:57
Speaker
you know, desperation and determination, you know, there's up to the red carpet and his basketball shorts and a huge ass fucking tea. Let's go. yeah He just doesn't even care. It's just like, yeah, this is what it is. Okay. So Matt Rushmore, if you had four comedians that you could just hang out with for like a week, who would you choose?
Comedian Hangouts
00:18:21
Speaker
I mean, I'd have to go Brian Regan, number one. Just because, like, that dude won, like, the first comedy special I ever saw. i was just, you know, Comcast surfing the the channels, you know? Yeah. ah And then I stopped on Comedy Central, and it was Brian Regan's, not his Comedy Central Presents, but his first Comedy Central special, you know? Okay.
00:18:51
Speaker
And just watching him, i was hooked. And I favorited Comedy Central after that because of Brian Regan. And because of that, I'm the ah messed up little booger that I am.
00:19:06
Speaker
i am but Of course, it's Brian Regan. um i really think Bill Burr's got to be up there. um I've been influenced by him like forever, dude. I mean, that I remember just like with Brian Regan, I remember Bill Burr's first couple of specials on ah you know ah Comedy Central. Who else would I be talking to?
00:19:35
Speaker
I don't like all of his stuff, but I do like a lot of I think that... I don't know. I think... i just i just... I don't know. I love Bill Burr. I really like his personality. I think he'd be a good hang. And as long as you don't bullshit him, he's gonna be good chill.
00:19:52
Speaker
But the second you try and go ahead and start, like, or fanning him, you know, and just fangirling out on the dude, that's when Bill Burr's like, alright, man, you gotta get the fuck out of here and just...
00:20:08
Speaker
So I think it's Bill Burr, Brian Regan. Who else would be up there? Like favorite. I do like Shane Gillis, dude. I think that dude would be favorite. It's who you would hang out with.
00:20:22
Speaker
It's not your favorite ones. It's just who you would hang out with. well That's what I'm saying. i really think that Shane Gillis would be just the dopest hang. Just hanging out, having a cool time. Okay, I'll give you that one.
00:20:36
Speaker
And they comedians. They can just be like comedic actors as well. Oh, comedic actors too. Let's see here. right, let's make it five. Let's go.
00:20:50
Speaker
Who else would be interested? I would like to say Toe for Grace because I do like that 70s show. I loved seeing Toe for Grace and stuff, you know.
00:21:02
Speaker
yeah Just for the little second that he's in Oceans. ah Whenever he's in Take Me Home Tonight. Like, you can't you can't deny how good of a movie Take Me Home Tonight is. ah Yeah, that's good.
00:21:19
Speaker
American Ultra is pretty good with Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart. Who's your third person? No, I had all four. that was What up, Chuck?
00:21:31
Speaker
that that was That was all four of them. Was it? oh Brian Regan, Bill Burr, Shane Gillis, and Topher Grace. Okay. Why Topher Grace? I don't know. i just think he's a goofball. I like that 70s show. I like, you know, and it seems like he's the most normal out of everyone off of that cast. Like everybody else is a Scientologist or a murderer or some type of sex offender. It's crazy, dude.
00:22:02
Speaker
Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Do have an eye hurt? Is that what? Oh my god. i think Lyrics Kid gave me a black eye and busted it open.
00:22:15
Speaker
Technically, you dropped your phone and... No, he knocked my fucking phone in my face. Shut up. He like took the pillow and he was like, wham! And it's just like... Damn. And then...
00:22:29
Speaker
What's her face? Oh my god, I suck at names. But Lyric, they were like, oh my god, you're bleeding. I was like, what? And I like had blood all over my hands. I'm like, holy shit. You know what you had the perfect opportunity to do now? Which is just so much like innocent fun.
00:22:48
Speaker
Shut up, baby. You go to, like, a store with one of your friends, and, like, you go to, like, a cashier checkout or something like that, and when your friend goes to, like, pull their back pocket out or, like, moves their arm real quick, you just... yeah he got You got your little scar there, so you go... It's so funny, because she was like, please don't sue me. Girl, you're good. Yeah.
00:23:18
Speaker
I love that bitch. Okay, so do you know who Michael Blaustein is? And shut up, Mandy. i sucked it up. I put a band-aid on it. I was Nellie-ing it for a little bit. I took it off.
00:23:32
Speaker
The nonsense clan. Yeah. Nonsense clan. I have to fix all this shit, honestly. What happened? You need to fix shit. how are you going to fix shit?
00:23:46
Speaker
I mean... quicks Normally, I just flush it. That's just me personally. Oh, no. This, I don't give fuck. It didn't even like really hurt. i was like I was surprised that I was bleeding.
00:24:00
Speaker
Oh. um Holy fuck. Did he give me a concussion? i mean, it is possible. both your piece It's possible.
00:24:13
Speaker
no it's so funny because he's three years old and i told i was talking to lyric she's my best she real bad anyways i was talking to her and i was like i'm going over to a friend's house he's it was a guy and he just like ran back to her bedroom and then comes back with a handful of condoms. I'm like, what the fuck? It's like, anti-B, ego-B. I'm like, what the fuck? was like, I it's not that kind of meeting, bro. What the fuck?
00:24:59
Speaker
See, my thing is, is like I have so much high ambition for myself that I'm pretty sure I have two separate boxes, both expired full condoms.
00:25:13
Speaker
Nice. Like that's how high my expectations are. It's twice I went ahead and got a whole entire family pack and twice. You're like, I got this. I got this.
00:25:26
Speaker
It's going great over here for me, folks. That's what I'm saying. It's it's been a fantastic ride.
00:25:34
Speaker
No chuckle sluts for this guy, I tell you what. No chuckle sluts? Yeah, chuckle sluts. You haven't heard of that? Chuckle sluts and chuckle fucks?
00:25:46
Speaker
I've heard of it, but I didn't know anybody else ever has heard of it. Oh, yeah, it's a serious situation where chicks go ahead and hang out in and clubs and just... Like the funny dudes? It's just like a a um roadie for a rock band. Except this dude's doing dick and shit jokes, and that's how he gets the ladies.
00:26:08
Speaker
ah that's how That's how you roll him out. Yeah. yeah that's how you That's how you roll them in. That's how you get their interest peaked. And then next thing you know, you know.
00:26:22
Speaker
You tell them that they can't make their decisions for themselves. All of a sudden, you got a single mother in 15 different states. You know what I mean? That's what happens. No, I don't know what you mean.
00:26:35
Speaker
It's just like a sailor at every port. You know what I mean? The comics got a kid in every state. got Got a kid at every comedy club.
00:26:48
Speaker
That's actually not a bad idea. No, that's a horrible idea. Do you know how many? Everybody listening, all two people, don't have children.
00:27:00
Speaker
But, like, not only that, but don't have 50 children to 50 different women because that is going to be some substantial child support payments.
00:27:12
Speaker
I mean, you just don't want
Struggles with Ice and Snow
00:27:14
Speaker
that. You just don't want it one too feet It's fucking cold down here. i haven't been here in days. So it's freezing. I got my heater going. Oh my god. I'm gonna pull closer. I'm still here. Keep talking. um I got it. I got you. Go ahead and get warmed up.
00:27:36
Speaker
Holy fuck, it's cold. It is cold out here. I tried to pull my car into the fucking spot, but the ice was like, nope I tried to pull my car into my spot yesterday and there was like a snowball that was like, there's no way you're getting in here, buddy. You're on a dig this hot.
00:27:56
Speaker
I had to like fucking pickaxe that fucking shit. It was crazy. I know it's crazy. I haven't seen lightning in days. Sorry. It's not my cat. It's the other cat. Hi, Bubba.
00:28:09
Speaker
Is it getting too crazy? He usually comes down here when the kids go crazy upstairs. Yeah. Too loud. Hi, Bubba. We're the kitty. It is a snuggle.
00:28:21
Speaker
Okay. I want to say, think you did great on New Year's Eve. Thank you. im Also, I did cut you off with the Taco Bell shit.
00:28:33
Speaker
I'm going to say it again. I apologize. She's so bummed about that. I can't tell you how many times people just go ahead and say some random stuff while I'm up there chit-chatting.
00:28:44
Speaker
And then you see it on their face. They're like, oh shit, I just said something in this comic. It's going to bring attention to me. It's like, no, I'm a narcissist. I'll just keep on going. I didn't even want you to bring it towards me. I wasn't looking for that. But it was funny and I couldn't...
00:29:03
Speaker
asked asked i couldn't ah sorry I couldn't hold it back. Because you just told me that morning that you had eaten Taco Bell. And were like, I haven't had Taco Bell in so long. was like, bitch, you just had it. it's a joke. gets no It's not serious things. I know. i know. Which is why I felt bad.
00:29:25
Speaker
You're fine. It's not even a problem. I can't tell. I've had people shout out way worse things from a crowd. Well, that chick that was to the right of the stage kept fucking talking. Did she talk during your set too? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She was she was getting up in there trying to say stuff. She fucked up. and She kept messing with me.
00:29:49
Speaker
well was where What her problem was, was it was her birthday. Her and her family came out there for her birthday. So that means even though there's this, that, and the other thing going on, the whole bar is all about her because, oh, it's my birthday. There's just a, there's a female. Well, i' I don't know. I don't know. Men might go ahead and get like this. She was like drunk before the show even started.
00:30:18
Speaker
Well, that's just kind of like that personality. That's the birthday girl art archetype in a bar, you know? It's just like, woo! Right there on the side of the stage where we were, you know what I mean? like every Yeah, they could have placed her better, but... Everything that all of us had to say, like, she had something to say about it Well, you have those people, and I definitely went ahead and kept throwing stuff in her face that was basically like, hey, this is about me. Shut up. This is about me. Shut up.
00:30:48
Speaker
i like I was nice about it. People are always like, what do you do to hecklers whenever you get heckled? And I'm like, well, one my thing is is to be so good you don't get heckled, right?
00:31:04
Speaker
Well, she didn't even heckle me. She was just like agreeing with one of my jokes. i don't know if you remember. And I was like, yeah, girl. Well, I was going to get to that. was going to get to that because there are different types of heckling as well. But first off,
00:31:18
Speaker
So whenever I'm doing comedy, the plan is to not get heckled, which I know that's like easier said than done. But like you do that with how you set up your jokes, how you set up your joke structure, what you're talking about.
00:31:36
Speaker
ah Like, so and instead of saying, ah has anybody seen blank? You say, i saw a blank and here's what I think about it. And then you tell your joke. You do your setup.
00:31:52
Speaker
You know, the punch asking questions to people to where they can actually answer it or whatever. Yeah, that that's that's that's called pulling a survey and you don't want to pull surveys on that your style. If that's not your style.
00:32:10
Speaker
Well, yes. And also, like, doing crowd work, doing too much crowd work, like, right off the rip does help you go ahead and gain the crowd's attention. But too much back and forth like that makes the crowd think, like oh, I'm part of the show, too. I can say wherever the fuck I want, too. Yeah, like, they take over the whole show at that point. And then yeah like, not the whole point. You're there to see the comedian do their jokes and So yeah, like, I get what saying. So like at that point, like, I'll go ahead, like first time somebody says something, because you never know. Here's the thing where I was saying about different types of heckling. Like, sometimes it's someone being a straight up asshole and they're getting in the way of the show.
00:33:01
Speaker
But most of the time when you get a heckler or someone's talking during your your set, they're having a great time. Right. And they think that they're having a great time with you and helping you out.
00:33:15
Speaker
So like, if you go ahead and just full on go after anybody who says anything ever, you're going to start hurting your own crowd and making your shows worse because they don't want to pay attention to you. If you're screaming at people in the, in the crowd, they're just having fun, you know?
00:33:36
Speaker
So one, you have to go ahead and acknowledge them. And then you have to do something that is like, okay, we're on a go ahead and get back to me. Or you basically go ahead and softball it that this is not about you. This is about me. You're there to sit and listen and laugh. I'm talk.
00:34:02
Speaker
Yeah, and so it's not something mean. It's just quick, succinct. It's what it is. It's what is. Um, but then there's the people that keep going.
00:34:13
Speaker
So the second time they do it, you go ahead and snipe them and it's kind of like a dry swipe on them. You're not going hard on them, but you're definitely going ahead and being quick, succinct, snippy.
00:34:28
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And then just a little pointed. And then next thing, they're going to go ahead and start coming at you. and just go ahead and roast them. And at that point, at that point, if you're at a professional show, they either got a security guard over there. The host is over there.
00:34:46
Speaker
Someone's pulling that person out of the showroom. And that's all it is. and I don't feel bad about people getting pulled out of a showroom. I only had a few minutes. Because everybody's paid for a gig. And if you're going ahead and being a pain in the dick, then... i only had a few minutes. And I was already flustered with the weather and everything as is. So, like, that chick, like, bothering me. I was just like, oh, yeah. Go, girl.
00:35:12
Speaker
I just, like, I tried to pull it off. I think I did. i don't know. She shut up after that, so... I mean, she has something to say on everybody who got up on stage. yeah that's just the man I mean, I'm telling you, there's just a mentality. Whenever you're whereverever you've been doing comedy long enough, like is there's something else that happens on top of just reading a crowd where like you start picking up different archetypes of different people that show up at clubs. Like,
00:35:47
Speaker
Comics always had this thing about the bachelor party. You know, there's always a bachelor party. They're always in the front row. And every single time you see them, it's on a ruin your whole entire day.
00:36:00
Speaker
Just anytime you see a bachelorette sash, anything you had planned, al one yeah Because it's it's probably not going to work out for you that night.
00:36:12
Speaker
But I do have two jokes about two of the bachelor parties that I went to. cause I'm not going to fully say it, but my dude name is Bert when I go to bachelor parties.
Personal Stories and Humor
00:36:29
Speaker
Because I'm Bertney at that point. You Bert Kirshner? but
00:36:39
Speaker
What are you doing? Don't do that. Don't do that. Oh, your tummy. It's just the belly. trying to flash me I was like, hey, don't do that. We're on camera right now. no No. You told me later for that. that I'm female.
00:36:54
Speaker
and i'm It's just the belly. you You were doing the Bert Kirshner. I thought you were going full on there. i was like, oh, no, don't get me canceled. You're flashing...
00:37:05
Speaker
on ah the On the Glick Nonsensable Network. Who knows? That might get you better ratings. I mean, it might get you better ratings. Maybe. It's not much to show, but whatever.
00:37:17
Speaker
But, anyways. Oh, i need to put up this word I need to put up this picture. Shut but shut the fuck up. um Oh, damn it. It's not on here. There's a picture that Scotty G made of Glick and Rick With their bellies together. And bert and they're they're kissing theirre kissing belly buttons. Yeah, yeah.
00:37:44
Speaker
Did you see that? i think I did on Facebook. i've seen I've seen a couple of your photos. I think I saw the the Christmas card edition, which was really cute. That was a fun one. one that was like That one was cute. I'm sad we didn't really get to use that. Soups adorbs.
00:38:02
Speaker
I'm such a cute elf. but You are. I dug it. I was like, that's fun. Yeah. Their bellies, when their belly buttons go together, know, they push them together, right?
00:38:15
Speaker
Force. And then when they come apart, it's like... Yeah. i Like, it makes that sound like... I can't do it with my lip ring, goddammit.
00:38:27
Speaker
I'm pretty sure that... I'm pretty sure that I forget it was America's Got Talent or if it was one of the other countries. I know what you're talking about.
00:38:38
Speaker
They won the golden circle or whatever because they did I tell you what, all these gosh darn comics be killing it on this stage.
00:38:48
Speaker
Not one of them could get a freaking checkmark. But these dudes go ahead and kiss belly buttons and they get the golden circle. Yes. Oh, fuck. I forgot. Or the golden buzzer, whatever it is. Yeah, Golden Buzzer.
00:39:03
Speaker
Dude, ah and they're like like sumo wrestler looking dudes. I'm not going to bring this into it. You know what I'm saying? It's like the amount of time that I've spent in a dark room with a pen and a legal pad just trying to like eke out any glimpse of just intelligent thought that has a little bit of a cutting like, you know, turn around and a good punch.
00:39:30
Speaker
And then there's just these guys. They get on America's Got Talent or whatever. And they just go ahead and kiss belly buttons. And then next thing you know, you know, they're in Vegas doing like street performances and stuff.
00:39:45
Speaker
Famous. Because they kiss belly buttons. And it's like, Jesus Christ, I should have been kissing belly buttons my entire life. I could have made it by now. But if only i had known all I had to do is kiss belly buttons, I'd have been made.
00:40:01
Speaker
i was friends with like a bunch of like, like, boardwalk performers. ah Dude just like painted himself gold and had a a, you know how the squeaky toy is for dogs? Yeah. He just took it out of the toy and he would put it in the mouth and like he would just be like frozen like everything and like he'd be like wait and with the like squeaky toy in his mouth.
00:40:27
Speaker
Dude was on a lot of drugs. You gotta be careful whenever you're doing that metallic paint I think it was like a bond girl went ahead and died.
00:40:39
Speaker
i think it was like gold member or something like that. she died. But it was drug related. Oh, was it? i heard that. i thought I thought that was something like her pores couldn't properly like let go for toxins with the pain or something like that. I heard that was the pain. Yeah, that is definitely a huge thing.
00:41:00
Speaker
Because like my homie, his name is, no, I won't say his name. Um, gold man I'll just say that. Um, he was like bad into drugs for a little while, which is why I stopped being friends with him. He like was out there on the street, like spraying himself with the gold paint on his skin because usually he wore like a suit ah and like, then he would use gold paint on his face and stuff. And then he had a hat, whatever. So his face and hands were the only things that he really painted.
00:41:34
Speaker
He's so messed up. It's kind of funny, but not funny at all. Hey, you go ahead and choose life you want to live. You know what I mean? He went ahead and walked into that, you know?
00:41:47
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I learned what not to do. you He was still a good buddy, you know, because I performed on the boardwalk as well, doing hula hooping and the spree painting shit.
00:42:02
Speaker
Well, i told you about being a DJ, you know, like in being a DJ, there were like so many things. Like, oh my gosh, I can't tell you how many jobs I've been offered.
00:42:16
Speaker
oh yeah. look how much of everything like when you're a dj you're up there mixing tunes and then you get people that get real into it and then all of a sudden they're behind you like real creepily they'll just be like hey man you want some freaking whatever you know you want some lsd you want some freaking shrooms you won some probablyley you all um want yeah And it's like, no, I don't. And they're like, come on, man, get fucked up with me. It's like, give me a beer. Go give me a beer. Why do I have to do hardcore drugs with you? Like, yeah I have actually experienced that twice because my friend, she was, she was dabbling in like DJing and stuff like that. So I was like up with her and people are, they are,
00:43:05
Speaker
fucking creepy, man. Dude, I tell you what, some of the craziest shit... like I wasn't a huge DJ, but I've definitely like played festivals. I played some serious renegades. I was an opener a bunch. I did lot of house gigs. But...
00:43:21
Speaker
but ah i There were times where you just look out into a crowd and the crazy stuff you see. Like, I saw this one dude. He's, like, doing this arm thing, right?
00:43:35
Speaker
And his girl in front of him is doing this thing. And I just, like, noticed these two people are, like, a little too close. And this girl's skirt is flipped over her back. And the dude's pants are just down.
00:43:50
Speaker
Like... Butt cheeks out. Going at it, dude. hi ran he It's in the middle of a dance floor. You know? i'm just raising climax, you know? Dude, okay, so when I went to Louder Than Life in Kentucky with my cousins and couple friends,
00:44:12
Speaker
um when it was like a huge metal pop-punk type festival, and then all of a sudden Ice Cube shows up. There you go Which was fucking sick, by the way.
00:44:26
Speaker
There was ah these chicks in front of us that were just like super white fucking dancing. And I'm like, I was like trying to hook my cousin up with one of them. I was like, get it. She's cute. No, you should just put them between the two of them then like, here you go. And then just let them. I tried to I tried to. But then my cousin was like, nah, I'm not into was like, okay. I mean, there is a certain a certain like place where it's just like, nah, dude, that's going to end up with vomit all over me.
00:45:00
Speaker
yeah And i it's it's not worth the terrible sex that it's going to be. like There's a certain point in the night. family, my cousins, I'm the best wing chick ever.
00:45:13
Speaker
Yeah. Ever. Maybe it's because I'm slightly dude-ish as well. But so I'm a little doody. You're a little doody?
00:45:27
Speaker
should have told you that. Women in general are... um they're they're Inherently a better wingman just because of the fact females trust females. and If a female goes there and says, this dude's dope, another girl's going to be like, oh, you go ahead and vouch for him. all right well right I'll give him a chance.
00:45:49
Speaker
This guy was cute, too. Honestly. Did you take her back to the did you take her back to the tent? Your cousin went ahead and left the dance floor and you're like, alright, this is mine, then.
00:46:01
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, ah scratch that. I'm not being a wing chick. I'm going to be the wing chick. I don't know. That was stupid. Hey, it's the thought that counts.
00:46:13
Speaker
Not all of them are winners, but they it's the thought that counts. All right? The hotel was like right there. We walked from the hotel to the festival and everything and back and forth. It was a three-day fucking festival. I died and came back to life.
00:46:30
Speaker
I was dying on the way back. like I was in the back of our friend's charger from the festival from Kentucky back to Ocean City, I believe, Maryland.
00:46:43
Speaker
um That's a rough ride in the back of a... No, no, I needed it. needed it. Yeah. yeah I was laying down. i had a... Okay, well, at least you had some leg room. You were laying down. it the Those chargers and challengers don't have a lot of leg room in the back. And I had, like, this much of tequila left.
00:47:05
Speaker
So I was drinking, sleeping, drinking, sleeping. Hey, you gotta keep the party going until you crash out at the house. You know, that's part of it. You ain't driving. You don't have to be sober until you wake up the next morning. yeah I just wanted to make my way back because that was like rough three days, dude.
00:47:24
Speaker
We didn't even make all of the concert each day because we woke up at like two and it, oh my God, it was bad. But it was still fun. I got to see Jelly Roll from oh really i can't for a second.
00:47:40
Speaker
I would like to go ahead. and i would like to see Jelly Roll and Posty together. yeah and want her i think that and I'm not like a country music person, but I definitely love Jelly Roll's vibe. and I would definitely support that dude. but Then on the other side...
00:48:00
Speaker
Post Malone, like, he makes so much. See, the thing is, is he's a, he's a SoundCloud musician. So he doesn't have a producer. He's not doing anything for a studio.
00:48:13
Speaker
He creates music, releases it all. And whatever is interesting, interesting he keeps playing. He's more of like a comic as a musician than anyone. He has tattoos.
00:48:25
Speaker
He does have a lot of tattoos. Which is what people look for these days. They're like, oh, they have tattoos. I think the tattoos on people have been changing. you know i mean, it's different whenever you're at the doctor's office and then the doctor has like a face tat. That's a different level of acceptance. That's the doctor I want.
00:48:53
Speaker
i I don't know. it depend i mean, anesthesiologist, yes, that's exactly the anesthesiologist I want. But brain surgeon? No, thank you. No, thank you at all. I ain't trusting dude with tattoo on his face if he's going ahead and noodling around with my noodles.
00:49:10
Speaker
fuck it An anesthesiologist, yes, because that dude knows how to go ahead and put a drip on, you know what I mean? That's
00:49:22
Speaker
I'm scared. I don't know. I just think i think with ah how wide-reaching Post Malone's music is and how free he is to just go ahead and do fusion yeah and just experiment with different things, I really think Post Malone, he's got some pretty songs, dude.
Musicians vs. Comedians
00:49:45
Speaker
He's funny, too. he's funny too He, I mean, it's like the Shane Gillis situation. You know, like I said, I want to hang out with Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis is regularly hanging out with Post Malone. And it's like, okay, well, Shane, I think Shane Gillis is a cool mofo.
00:50:05
Speaker
He's chilling out with Post Malone. So I guess Post Malone has to be pretty BA as well. You know, and it's, you know, one plus one is two, you know. I was watching Roadhouse, which he's, that's not a comedy.
00:50:18
Speaker
but it has post Malone in it and yeah what's his face, Jake Gyllenhaal. Yes, it does. does. I like that movie. I got to say, like honestly, 100%.
00:50:31
Speaker
so i never saw Roadhouse. But Roadhouse, especially for my parents' generation, was like a moment in time. Everybody knows Roadhouse. Everybody knows about what's his name, ripping a dude's throat out in Minnesota or whatever.
00:50:50
Speaker
like Everybody knows... Minnesota. road Roadhouse and everything. So, i go ahead and see on Amazon that Amazon did a Jake Gyllenhaal remake.
00:51:03
Speaker
And was like, okay, we'll go ahead and watch this and just see what it's about. And i was, I gotta say, I was pretty blown away by it. Like, the special effects, the pacing, know. still haven't even finished it. Terry, she like, laughs so loud and like,
00:51:23
Speaker
I mean, they do. I need to watch it by myself. It's definitely like its own film. You know what I mean? But on the other side, it's done so well and respectfully. Like,
00:51:41
Speaker
It's not the exact same story. It's like a rehashing of what's going on. Yeah. But they do it well. It's written well. It's acted well. Special effects are done well.
00:51:53
Speaker
um It doesn't really slow down. You know, it's normally a pretty well paced movie. Yeah. So I was like, okay, well, I like this. So let's just go ahead before I see what Facebook has to say about it.
00:52:06
Speaker
Before people start, oh, you know, the Jake Gyllenhaal Roadhouse sucks. i was like, well, you know, I'm going to watch the original one now after watching that one. Just to go ahead. And I got to say, I wasn't disappointed with either of them.
'Roadhouse' Remake Opinions
00:52:23
Speaker
I mean, a original Roadhouse is a little corny and it's a little B movie. But I mean, it's an 80s action film. So it's like, you know, Universal Soldier. It's all about corny. I was like really getting into it, but she like kept like saying lines before they would say them or like Oh, because she already seen She's seen even a million times. I'm like, shut the fuck up, bitch. It is good, though. You sub watch you should it.
00:52:55
Speaker
All of a sudden, then she was like, oh, let's clear out your car or whatever because the fucking snow. was like, right when I'm actually getting into the movie, like, are you fucking kidding me? I was so I'm glad I'm home.
00:53:10
Speaker
yeah she seems nice i mean i i i enjoyed sitting there chatting with the two the three to you to you oh yeah because you you met her um she's a wild one that's for sure and she has definitely helped me come out of my shell growing up um i do give her props for that which man she can be a fucking bitch sometimes yeah And I'm going flip that. I'm going to send that to her, too.
00:53:43
Speaker
But ah if you you're talking about coming and getting out of your shell, shell you should come hang out in the guest room upstairs. And it's like we got three mics a night out here in Pittsburgh.
00:53:58
Speaker
Every single week, there's at least three mics a night. Come on out here for like a weekend or something like that. and just Oh, you mean i like week and a half or something like that? I mean, you could if you want. I'm not going argue. I was trying to be professional here, but you want to flirt with me on the pod? I'm down. Shut up.
00:54:20
Speaker
good But, ah yeah, so, you know, come on out here and and just put some reps in, dude. I mean, Pittsburgh is a rough scene. It's very ankle-biting.
00:54:33
Speaker
That's what I'm worried about. Well, the thing is, is that you just don't listen to it. You just, there's people, yeah i just, something that getting comedians don't tell you early on in your career is that people talking shit on you is not a bad thing.
00:54:51
Speaker
Because people talking shit on you means that you're going ahead and stepping above them. And rather than them improving themselves, nine times out of ten, they'll just talk shit on you.
00:55:02
Speaker
You know? So, you just got to be able to close that stuff out. Let it happen. let's Don't engage with it. You engage with it. It's going to become more. It's going blow. It's huge thing.
00:55:16
Speaker
If you engage with it, it has to be in a way that you can shut it down in that moment. I mean, i i honestly say don't engage with it at all.
00:55:26
Speaker
you're ah Honestly, you're giving those people power. Going ahead and sitting there. i shut that girl down real quick. You saw it. Well, yeah, whenever you're at a mic, that's different. like whenever you're set But whenever it's Facebook and it's somebody's just saying something stupid in a comment section, nothing you say to that person doesn't matter to them.
00:55:49
Speaker
yeah you know And if anything, you go in there and having a temper tantrum against them, that validates their BS. Yeah.
00:56:00
Speaker
That gives them power. that Yeah. It validates their shittiness. they like That gives fuel to the fire. Like you said. Yeah. yeah so like there's just Nothing you can go ahead and put in there is going to help the situation at all.
00:56:16
Speaker
That person has a bias against you. You can say whatever you want and they're on a hey chill. you know so and les Unless it's one of those situations where somebody just says something stupid because they're scrolling through Facebook and they're tired of seeing the same exact freaking stock post from 15 different you know sponsored pages and...
00:56:42
Speaker
I hate those dudes. You got all these sponsored pages sending you memes and stuff like that. and Sending you dumb stuff like, oh, Sidney Sweeney is on a B-Lawyer Croft. And it's like, nobody fucking cares. title all Nobody does. Just make the movie. Do it.
00:57:00
Speaker
Don't start that shit. Do not start that shit. What?
00:57:06
Speaker
Don't start what? Talking about Laura Croft? Yeah. Lara Croft is pretty good. I heard something different. I thought you were going political. Oh, no, no, not at all. I'm just saying like nobody i'm nobody really cares about any... it's There's just so much fruitless stuff. I forget what it was that I saw on there today.
00:57:31
Speaker
Where it's like this huge breaking news story. And it's just like, here's what's her nuts from Stranger Things on the beach. her nuts With her skincare routine. it's like, nobody cares.
00:57:45
Speaker
Nobody cares. Nobody fucking cares. I mean, really? like Yeah.
00:57:54
Speaker
And it's just like dumb stuff. It's like my my Facebook feed is filled up with more of that junk than my friends that I actually enjoy.
00:58:07
Speaker
You know? And then there's reels too. I'll completely lose my life to reels. Well, we'd send we send each other things. Yeah.
00:58:20
Speaker
Well, okay, so my best friend Lyric,
00:58:27
Speaker
the way I met her was at Sheetz. You know what Sheetz is, right? Yeah. but I was where they made Sheetz at, car. Oh, yeah. Pennsylvania, car.
00:58:39
Speaker
ah You did not use a car. not care You So we were both at the registers and she went down to reach to get cigarettes for somebody.
00:58:51
Speaker
and I was like, oh, be careful. I just farted. And she just started cracking up. I didn't really fart. Or did I? I don't remember. You definitely did. I could taste it. I might have. Whatever. So that's how we became best friends. It's farts. So we send fart reels and poop reels to each other. She always likes...
00:59:15
Speaker
like Almost every day, she'll send me like a Snapchat of her just sitting on the toilet. and She's like, oh, fuck. Here comes the kids. like no I tell you what, your algorithm has definitely gone ahead and affected my algorithm. You send me these things and they changed my algorithm. I forget which one it was, but I've seen like hundreds of them. You sent me one and I watched it. and Now I get them like all the time.
00:59:46
Speaker
I get the fart ones all the time, but I think that was more because of me, my algorithm. But I do send them to you, where it's like the dude and he's walking around. See, the thing is, is that he walks around and then he just toots.
01:00:01
Speaker
I think you should do more like bending over or he goes ahead and brings his foot up to tie his shoe. He does that. There's other ones where he does that. does, but he doesn't do it enough. He normally does some type of situation where he's blowing his ass out. Like, brrrt, doing something. Rather than... Because I think it's funny...
01:00:24
Speaker
I think it's funnier the accidental fart. Like, obviously, he accidentally... Spoiler alert. He accidentally sharts himself every time, right? So that's goofy.
01:00:37
Speaker
But what would be more funny is, like, the whole entire thing's an accident. Like, ooh, a penny. a And then he just shits himself. Or he's going ahead and being like, oh, shoelaces untied. And he goes to...
01:00:52
Speaker
Like, on the boardwalk, it has nothing to do with farts, but you sang bending down to pick up a penny or whatever. We would be, where my, another one of the boardwalk performers, he did, like, the caricature stuff um and paintings. He lived on one of these hotels, and there was a balcony that looked over onto the boardwalk. We glued a dollar bill up. down onto the boardwalk and we're just like up on the balcony just like watching people it's kind of like workaholics where they do yeah poop dollar
01:01:31
Speaker
yeah so that's what we said we had so many people it's fucking awesome i love that shit i think my favorite workaholics has to be the one where they go to the to the gathering And he's like, do you have a fresca? And it's like, no, we have Faygo. And he's like, what's a Faygo?
01:01:53
Speaker
That's the... Where has Faygo been all my life? Is like the next scene. He's so crazy about it. do you like it? I would love to go see a gathering.
01:02:04
Speaker
Like, I am so far removed from ICP. But like, going... I've been to one. Huh? I've been to one.
01:02:16
Speaker
How was it? Was it a rager?
01:02:23
Speaker
It was interesting to say the least. Well, that's the thing. You're not going. I mean, you're definitely going for entertainment. But I mean, as an insane clown posse person, you're there for the event.
01:02:37
Speaker
But like I would go, not as an insane clown posse person, but as a people watcher, just to experience it. i like Imagine all the material you can get one weekend at a gathering.
01:02:53
Speaker
You will see pee. Well, yeah.
01:02:59
Speaker
There's also people walking up on stage showing each other booty holes and stuff like that. It's an interesting... I will not go to a... They're banned from Ohio because of a a series of gatherings they had in Ohio that just got way too ridiculous. Like Gwar. Gwar sounds pretty cool, too. like i don't like That's another one. like I don't really like their music, but the stage... Yeah, there's two or three of them that I dig.
01:03:30
Speaker
But like for the most part, it's more the stage performance that they put on and the effort. And you know what's crazy? That used to be frat. Fuck all that. If they're jizzing in a cup or peeing in a cup and spraying it on the crowd, I'm good, bro.
01:03:47
Speaker
but the Yeah, well.
01:03:52
Speaker
It's GWAR. I mean, there's a type for certain people. and that's That's what GWAR is, dude. And the funny thing is, is like that's actually a ah a college frat. I don't know who the fuck you are, but okay.
01:04:09
Speaker
Sticky input, JH. The nonsensical network. Fear is something another. Okay, cool, dude. But yeah, like a frat, that actually kind of sums it up.
01:04:22
Speaker
Yeah, like the, I think the lead singer is the only one that is part of the original band. And I think they started it because it was some type of, ah like they had to do a performance thing for an art class.
01:04:39
Speaker
And they just went ahead and did GWAR and it became this huge thing after that. yeah I'm not exactly sure of the specifics because I'm not a huge GWAR fan. But lore of GWAR is definitely interesting.
01:04:52
Speaker
Just like ICP. That's, you know. Wow, that's whole other story. ICP, you go to go ahead and like people watch. Gwar, you go. You sit way in the back.
01:05:05
Speaker
Way in the back. Maybe even on the balcony if you can. but I'm not in this flash zone whatsoever. At all. ah You just sit there and you watch the spectacle, dude. That's like something else.
01:05:21
Speaker
They come to Mr. Smalls all the time. Hold on. We got Kenny Cook in the building. He's one of my childhood friends. I've known him since I was like 12. What's up, Kenny? Thanks for coming. Thanks for joining He's a metal vocalist. Had his own band with my other best friend, Ricky. He's dope as shit.
01:05:45
Speaker
Love me some Kenny Cooks. I was a bassist and a drummer in a band. Yeah. I was more, at see, the band was like, he was post-apocalyptic metalcore, and he was a great guitarist.
01:05:59
Speaker
But the thing was, was like I was like a ah punk ah drummer. Oh, okay. it was more like... yeah yeah it was it was more like quick you know and the thing is is punk is normally there's just like a couple of different yeah like um progressions that you do you know and it's all about how like your personality plays those different progressions that's like what punk is for a drummer but uh
01:06:34
Speaker
I don't know. Like it, it didn't, it worked out all right with certain songs, which became like our CD songs, but I dig a punk, a punk drummer just does not work in a post-apocalyptic.
Punk Drummer Experiences
01:06:47
Speaker
Oh yeah. it's It's more simple. Like ah Ricky, which is one of my best friends, his one of his best Kenny, he had a band with him. He won I think at like 16 or 17 years old, he won the fastest double bass. Like, Oh yeah. Um, uh, in all of Maryland, he's a dope ass fucking metal drummer. He's sick.
01:07:17
Speaker
I think Kenny he's, he's a sick ass vocalist. I've been trying to get him on to Glick's house of music, which is on Tuesdays by the way,
01:07:27
Speaker
guys You need to check him out on Tuesdays on the Nonsensical Network. Click on Glick. See what he's doing. Yeah. and You're awesome, Kenny Cook.
01:07:42
Speaker
You're awesome. He's the fucking dopest dope I ever smoked. I never smoked him, but I smoked with him. A lot. of No, he's cool.
01:07:55
Speaker
I love that dude. He says we're awesome, so he's awesome. You know? Hell yeah. I don't know who this other fucking person is. Oh, that's on Twitch. I'm not on that. Sticky and put JH. I think they're just like trying to
01:08:16
Speaker
do their own shit. Oh, well. Yeah, they're going ahead and trying to get people from your comments list to go over to their situation. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
01:08:28
Speaker
What bunch of bitches. Suck my big toe. And i'm not going to show it to you. You got to pay for it. You know, and and she's got premium freaking shots right now. she's got She's got tootsies, a buck apiece, you know, tootsie shots.
01:08:49
Speaker
you this I just made my foot John Cena. What am I... but
01:09:02
Speaker
One of my favorite... Oh my gosh. There's there's like um this radio station that does like prank calls and stuff like that i and one of them this dude keeps calling this chick and it it starts out like telemarketer hi there bu bu blah blah blah and then it goes it's like are you want to go ahead and come down into the city and she's like i wasn't thinking about it why it's like because John
01:09:37
Speaker
Cena! It keeps getting her. Unlike the fourth one, she's like, you better fucking not. John Cena! Not.
01:09:51
Speaker
it I like him and... Amy Poehler and... amy puller and
01:10:02
Speaker
Tina Fey. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. With John Cena in it Yes. It's the movie. It's called Sisters. Oh, yes. I have seen that one. Yes. And John Cena is a a drug dealer.
01:10:20
Speaker
yeah And he's, like, huge. She's, like... ah Tina Fey's, like... down here to him and He's just like, meh. He's a freaking mountain of a dude. He's like you fake six foot four freaking yeah know it's huge five feet wide.
01:10:39
Speaker
you know That dude is stacked, dude. like It's hard. so The fact that she asked him to do like the dirty dancing thing, you know lifting it up. I want him to do that to me. and I'm not even attracted to him, but I want that to happen.
01:10:53
Speaker
Either him or Batista. Batista is pretty dope, dude. I think one of my favorites was always Batista. And then a little part of me liked Hurricane.
01:11:05
Speaker
Just because like he was a superhero. Do you remember Hurricane from 2008? I into Batista, Rey Mysterio, John Cena little bit because I hated Randy Orton. Fuck him.
01:11:22
Speaker
And then the Hardy Boys. Hardy Boys, yes, of course. Or Brothers, whatever the fuck. Yeah, because I'm emo as fuck too. so yeah know Yeah, you're thinking of the book, The Hardy Boys. You were thinking of the book. I know, I know. The the Hardy Boys and WWE. That would be so ridiculous. The two of them on the box with the dog fucking into freaking arena.
01:11:50
Speaker
Imagine, though. That would be fucking hilarious. Which shenanigans would they get into at the WWE? I remember that TLC match that they had, and they had a terrible accident where somebody of jumped down on the ladder and it came up and hit.
01:12:09
Speaker
Oh, was that was that Goldberg and he like killed somebody? and now he didn't die. It was one of the brothers that ah Jeff Hardy, I think. Oh.
01:12:20
Speaker
in the jaw and it broke and it was just like blood just fucking everywhere but i know what you're talking about that's separate yeah gold goldberg went ahead and like hit somebody off a rope or something like that broke their neck or something goldberg such a fancy name goldberg that's a callback too man like he's he was like i don't know like early ninety s you know like That was like beginning of the Attitude Era. And then I think that steve Steve Austin went ahead and picked up where that dude left off. Which I love Steve Austin. i love Steve Austin. Fuck yes, I love Steve Austin too. Steve Austin makes this beer, right?
01:13:03
Speaker
And my body was like so... and it's It's an IPA, right? Dude, it's like so ridiculous. It's this IPA, right? You better buy that before I come to your house.
01:13:13
Speaker
yeah Well, the the problem is is we won't be able to drink any of them inside. Because like it's over... There's something they do with it. They overcarbonate So that you you're supposed to go ahead and stab it with the key and freaking shotgun it.
01:13:32
Speaker
Right? So they overcarbonate it so that you pop the tap and you hammer it. Right? Let's do it. But I wasn't ready for that. think I'm the only viewer right now. so What is it?
01:13:48
Speaker
ah think I'm the only viewer right now. So feel free to say. But ah so anyways, ah so I was on Rocket League playing with my brother-in-law.
01:14:02
Speaker
And walk outside for a cigarette and he's like, you should go ahead and try out that Steve Austin beer. And I was like, oh yeah, I have that. I'll check that out. So I go ahead and grab it out of the fridge. I walk outside. Luckily, i walked outside because I go ahead and set it on the the banister of my back porch and just crack the top.
01:14:23
Speaker
I swear to God, this like geyser of beer foam had to have been like two, three feet high, just shooting out of there. And I was like, wow, way to just like waste half my beer there, Steve. That's fucked up.
01:14:40
Speaker
What up DJ Electra Fry How you doing Hi there DJ Electra Fry Yeah forgets the fra Oh I want some fries now Sorry I don't have my
Babysitting Anecdote
01:14:58
Speaker
glasses on Trying to look extra sexy So I take my glasses off so I can look better um So I can't really see
01:15:08
Speaker
Can't really see everything Yeah, how's your eye? i keep forgetting about it and then I hit it. It's starting to bruise up. That fucking kid. Hey there, DJ Electra Frey.
01:15:21
Speaker
there. Thank you for joining us. Oh, not much over here. Just chilling.
01:15:32
Speaker
Being snorty. She got attacked by a three-year-old with a pillow. She got accosted.
01:15:42
Speaker
By a three-year-old in his pillow. When they told me it was bleeding, I was so surprised. I was like, what the fuck? And I i had blood like all down my hand. i was like, holy shit, fuck. Yeah, you got quite a you'd be surprised how many blood vessels you got just in your and your eyelid, you know what I mean?
01:15:59
Speaker
i was fucking honest. I was kind of like babysitting. i was like, they have this big... big
01:16:10
Speaker
bouncy type thing and i was like on the edge of it and then the kids were jumping on it and i would pretend to be like yeah and like jump off of thing you know yep so yeah they just got too excited her son has a mullet as well which is oh there you go i tell you what mullets are coming back these days it's surprising how popular mullets are i can't It's curly though. It's so freaking... Yeah! yeah They perm it. Like a jerry curl mullet. He doesn't... He's three years old. She's not getting a perm on his fucking hair. Oh, I... He has naturally curly hair. I was saying that that is the popular look. What did you... did you feed it?
01:16:57
Speaker
ah dang three-year-old must have had crazy happy okay so i had the problem was we fed them after midnight that's what the big problem was don't know how it okay so i went to sheets and i got dr pepper i don't usually drink soda pop i'm gonna say both words because i don't want to start an issue soda pop um and what did you feed it that's funny um mullet strength dude he's in insane adhd to the friggin max and i'm also not the best at like keeping kids calm because i'm a child myself so um oh well feeding after midnight is a no-no well this was like seven like 6 30 7 o'clock eastern time it's all good
01:17:53
Speaker
um no he's just a wild animal and it's okay he said sorry and gave me a hug and all that you saw yeah you gotta love kids but they they can't pronounce their well i mean he got distracted during the sorry he like went to go say sorry and then he was like oh look at this this fucking kid i love that's know that's another fun thing with kids is whenever they've they finally figure out how to like it's not that they know how to put together like sentences but they know what a sentence is supposed to be like formatted as so they just go ahead and go off on whatever they think a sentence is supposed to be this is like you're awesome dude yes he's so cute
01:18:43
Speaker
it It makes me laugh, but I also fucking, like, kind of hate at the same time. But I had a ah cup of Dr. Pepper when I was going back to the soda pop thing.
01:18:56
Speaker
i had a... Because Sheetz has the dope ice, like the crunchy, nice ice, you you know? Oh, do they have the circular, the chipped ice or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what's up. Awesome. Sheetz has that too. I know Sheetz is on a tonic.
01:19:10
Speaker
He was like... Okay, he kept like sneaking my cup trying to drink from it. Because anytime he sees soda, he would like sneak. I'm like, bitch, no. And like at one point her daughter, heiress is only like a year and a half maybe. Almost, actually maybe almost two.
01:19:29
Speaker
um She was like crawling behind me and I didn't know what she was doing. And Lyric was like, what the hell is she doing? And I realized because I put the soda back there, she was sneaking sips of the f freaking soda behind me. That little turd nugget. These kids, I tell you, insatiable.
01:19:51
Speaker
just They gotta go for it. Yes. I love kids. oh I did see that DJ Electrofly is neurodivergent here too. Welcome to the club.
01:20:05
Speaker
I was autistic before it was cool, dude. Everybody these days is coming out as autistic. I had a freaking behavioral therapist at five years old, brudda.
01:20:16
Speaker
But yeah, welcome the party. It's a good time, dude. Autistics pretty dope. Crazy, but we're pretty dope. Sugar is a drug. Sugar definitely... like Sugar is a drug. Yeah, for sure.
01:20:28
Speaker
I stopped drinking soda years ago. Soda pops i pop, Pop. ah Legitimately, ah sugar itself is...
Addictive Nature of Sugar
01:20:38
Speaker
It really is.
01:20:39
Speaker
Parallel to cocaine. You can get withdraws from it. like Absolutely. And then it becomes ah an addiction with the sugar, salt, sugar, salt, back and forth.
01:20:53
Speaker
You know? and it's cultivated the same exact way that Coke is cultivated as well. Right. yeah It's crazy that sugar is legal and cocaine is not. It's like, they're basic. Really, they are the same thing. They're parallel.
01:21:10
Speaker
You know, they're cousins. Coca-Cola had cocaine in it at one point. Coca-Cola still does have cocaine in it. They yeah they say that we use ah coca leaf extract, not cocaine.
01:21:28
Speaker
bro But the thing is is if you extract coke from a cocaine plant, that's cocaine. When I went to Ecuador...
01:21:40
Speaker
we are like literally in front of their like white house basically their white house government whatever their government state building yeah there's literally people out front like selling cocaine like out on the street mexican coke is a whole different animal have you ever heard of mexican coke Like if you go to Costco, you'll see that the Coke with the yellow caps on it, I believe. And those are like because there's a specific bottling company in Mexico that like makes their own like yeah ah Coke syrup or something like that or mixes it themselves or something like that. and believe that. And apparently like Mexican Coke is a whole different animal.
01:22:27
Speaker
yeah Yeah, if we started a snorted sugar, would it get us that high as cocaine does? but I don't know. Try it. Let us know. I'm just kidding. Don't do that. I mean, i am totally down for for some scientific experiments. i have had friends i I've had friends snort pixie sticks. like Oh, yeah. like Who hasn't, dude?
01:22:54
Speaker
ah It's like, these kids are so innocent. as say I don't know when it starts, but it's almost instant. You're bumping lines of fucking pixie sticks, dude.
01:23:07
Speaker
I don't know what it is with kids. They're just like, let's do this. Or crush up the Mexican Coke. Most of the Mexican restaurants here sell Mexican Coke. Yeah, they say that it's a lot sweeter and it's like, but it's bitter and stuff like that.
01:23:23
Speaker
Like, the the mexican land Mexican Coke's a whole other level. Kenny. Oh, my God. I love Mexican Coke. You know what I mean? Yeah, right.
01:23:35
Speaker
The powder kind, huh?
01:23:39
Speaker
All right, Kenny. Chill, bro. I think it would just burn. Yeah, it does burn. i mean, anything put up your nose ain't going to feel great. You know what I mean? Yeah.
01:23:54
Speaker
Isn't that great? Smarties, that's what I was thinking of. Shaman, thank you, Shaman. That's what I was thinking of. Crushing up Smarties.
Candy and Cola Nostalgia
01:24:02
Speaker
Oh! crushing that's what i was thinking hi hi shaman what about sweet tarts sweet tarts get you any further that was the other one too that one will fucking burn your fucking why you know what i miss do you know what i miss that they don't even make anymore i haven't seen them since like the early shock tarts
01:24:29
Speaker
they They were like sweet tarts, but it was like gummy in the middle, you know? i know what you're talking about. And they don't make them at all anymore, and I used to love those. They were like extremely sour, dude.
01:24:44
Speaker
They were like abusively sour. I love those things. I love sour shit. And I feel like they have made everything that's supposed to be sour isn't sour anymore. Well, the thing is is that you have to make it um marketable. And like most markets don't really like sour stuff. They like a little sour, but they don't like like extreme sour. So they go ahead and bump it down a little bit.
01:25:09
Speaker
So DJ Electra, you're only an hour from Mexico. Makes sense. Send us some fucking tacos, bitch.
01:25:18
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I got this restaurant. you want to say let us know where you live. If you don't want to share it, that's okay. Hold on, let me get through these comments real quick.
01:25:29
Speaker
Yeah, go for it. American Coke is better than regular American Coke because I think it doesn't have as much carbonation. okay. I didn't know I stopped at the Smarties. Okay, Shaman.
01:25:45
Speaker
Ooh, Shaq Tarts were the first. I know. Look at this dude, Shaq Tarts. Shaq Tarts. Shaq Tarts doesn't know how to show his face, but he'll show the shit. That's fine.
01:25:58
Speaker
And then Sour Candy is the best. Yes, I do dig me some Sour Candy for sure. So do you know like why there's different ah flavors of Coke around the world? Like what, like Mexican Coke and stuff like that?
01:26:14
Speaker
So originally Coke didn't believe that bottling was going to be the way to sell Coke. Like they would just go ahead and make syrup and they would bring the syrup dispensers. Right.
01:26:28
Speaker
So somebody went ahead and said, well, why don't I get the bottling? She's dancing like a stripper. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry, I'm sorry. or What was Freudian slip or whatever?
01:26:43
Speaker
yeah But anyways, so like they would, ah he outsourced the bottling industry. And then what happened was the bottles made it more widely distributable.
01:26:58
Speaker
And they started making so much money. So they, um, They started buying back up the bottling companies. And now there is three different Coke bottling plants. There's the Mexican bottling plant. There's another um outside of Coke bottling plant. I forget where it is.
01:27:22
Speaker
But then there's also, well, there's multiple plants. But I mean like company-wise for bottles. And then there's also Coke itself that has a bottling plant as well.
01:27:33
Speaker
You know, i would I'll go to, like, the Dollar General because I'm broke-ass bitch. And they'll have, like, energy drinks when I used to drink them because I only drink vodka and water now. Those Rippets or whatever they were?
01:27:48
Speaker
no mostly, like, NOS. Full Throttle is my main thing. or Oh, Full Throttle, okay. I was a named guy myself. They'll have, like, a case over at, like,
01:28:00
Speaker
The plastic or whatever in English. But then when you tear it off, the print is Japanese. Yeah. Yeah. Repackaged. Fucking sick.
01:28:11
Speaker
Dude, you know what's real good that is real hard to find? I found out that there's something about Indian Sunokos. They always have them. I don't mean to go ahead and profile. Yeah.
01:28:25
Speaker
ah The dot one. well the Punjab. ah But um is that what it's called? Is that what it's called? The Punjab? I don't know. I don't want to go ahead and be offensive anyways. I'm trying to be inclusive.
01:28:41
Speaker
I'm not even like trying to profile here, but there's something about Indian-run Sunocos, specifically Sunocos, right? They all still have the Sobeys. No, no, 7-Eleven doesn't do it. It's only Indian Run.
01:28:59
Speaker
Around here. Yes. but what No, what I'm saying is for you to find this specific beverage, it has to be an Indian Run sunoco or else it won't have it right i don't know what it is it's those two things together but they have so be energy drinks do you remember those yes yeah the citrus you had the strawberry daiquiri and then you have both banana strawberry smoothie holy shit i totally forgot about those that's crazy Those were, I mean, citrus was unmatched. That is a flavor of a beverage that cannot be beat.
01:29:41
Speaker
Let's get back to comedy. i know we've been sitting here. I don't know. We've been chit chatting about little, we've been being funny, but I don't know. Well, you know, I can't help that.
01:29:55
Speaker
i can't I can't help that God gave me a freaking doofy face. You know, i may you may think I'm pretty fugly looking, but you'd be surprised. I'm an autistic 10.
01:30:05
Speaker
All the ladies at the Special Olympics were real downs with me, if you know what I mean. but There you go. How about that for some jokes? Cracking some yokes.
01:30:20
Speaker
here oh put paid alais so be I never had that one. yeah i wasn a big fan on that I'm not really a coconut guy, though.
01:30:31
Speaker
Yeah, me neither. I'm not a coconut guy, either. Oh, you have Luis J. Gomez. That's cool. That's awesome. he yeah Congratulations, DJ. I don't have to go ahead and listen to your it was a white podcast there. so We don't know what color you are, Shaman, so shut up.
01:30:52
Speaker
that a white one He never shows his face. He is a mysterious one. That's right. the pink went Okay, he's still talking about the drinks. I'm still talking about how he's a little bitch. The pink one was banana strawberry banana smoothie, and then the redder one was strawberry daiquiri. Yes, okay. I remember the banana strawberry smoothie one was good.
01:31:19
Speaker
i will They were all pretty freaking peak, dude. Don't they still sell them? Huh? Don't they still sell them? They sell them, but it's very rare. I think it's more popular in India. I think that's why it's like Indian Sunoco specifically. i don't i I don't mean to like profile or nothing, but it's like like everyone I go into...
Comedy and Trauma
01:31:47
Speaker
I go ahead and look at the fridge section. Boom. Right there. Energy drink section. So be energy. Boom. Grabbing a freaking yellow one. I love those things. There used to be a specific Sunoco I we used to go into all the time to pick them up on my way into work.
01:32:03
Speaker
Yeah, my I would get super stunned and my brother would take us to Sheetz. We would sneak out. Or my dad would just be gone. We'd go to Sheetz and we'd buy them.
01:32:14
Speaker
He's pretty cool. He didn't offer me free skinks. He didn't offer me free Skink Fest tickets, but he offered me main host of the show free text. That's dope.
01:32:25
Speaker
I don't know. um I haven't seen this since I was a kid. Dude, we haven't even seen your face. I'm going to talk about what you've seen. Put that blind mic. Yeah, there you go. Go ahead and check out DJ ElectroFries' Blind Mic Project.
01:32:44
Speaker
You're doing great. I can talk. check out the blind mic project i don't know what the fuck that is but i think that's her podcast i think that's what she's talking about her podcast that is that what it is yeah go ahead yeah show up y'all go over there and y'all make sure that your folks come over here say hi be friends yeah we all fam here Yeah, it's a comedy podcast. Awesome. I'll have to check that out. I knew where he was going, Muzz. He's a good guy, dude.
01:33:18
Speaker
Why am I gray? Have you noticed that I... Am I in the 1950s? I'm black and white over here. No, you're not. You look completely normal. don't know. Maybe I'm just going colorblind. Handsome as
01:33:36
Speaker
okay you're the producer. Cool, cool. Scary what? What's scary? Am I scary? Roar!
01:33:46
Speaker
Dude, my my nephew, his favorite, he's he he likes getting shoes that have dinosaurs on him. And he'll show them to me. And I'll be like, oh, what are those? There's some dinosaurs.
01:34:00
Speaker
And he goes, soar, soar. And I'm like, what does a dinosaur say? And he goes, roar. um And it is the cutest thing he does every time he does it. That that does sound cute.
01:34:13
Speaker
Roar. He gets all into He was like a valley girl. I was like, that sounds cute. That does sound cute. he's a he's a He's a little button, dude. that he's on turn it i'm I'm excited to see who he grows into because I can already see like how bolsterous his personality is going to be. I'm wondering like what he's going be when he grows up.
01:34:41
Speaker
Turn him into the best comedian ever. Just fuck with him super hard. no yeah that's what she suggest do yeah You have to have trauma. To be a comedian. Straight up.
01:34:54
Speaker
Yeah. you I mean. It doesn't come from happy places. It does not. I mean. Back to comedy. We'll get back to comedy. I mean. That's what we're here for.
01:35:06
Speaker
a That's what we're here for. Yeah, I mean, there's just something about, like, nobody wants to hear about you talking about how awesome his day was. You know, yeah, I found $20 on the screen. I know, it's like, fuck you, my day sucked. Like, I don't want to hear about your good life.
01:35:25
Speaker
But there's something when it comes to comedy, you start talking about, I freaking hate this. they're This is stupid. I did this and I was a freaking idiot.
01:35:37
Speaker
Self-deprecation is all about you know bad stuff. you know yeah so but it It's just something about comedy. It's not about how good things happen to you.
01:35:51
Speaker
It generally does like come from ow my eye hurts it comes from um trauma mostly did you put any ice on your eye yeah i did uh i put ointment on it and i had a band-aid fell off because my hat like pulled it off and lyric gave me like one of her little kitty ice pack things and i had it yeah I think I have a slight black eye. That little fucker, a three-year-old, fuck me up.
01:36:28
Speaker
Not gonna lie, though, ointment is probably one of my favorite words in the English language. Just because, like, where the heck does ointment come from? Ointment. i mean Like, who comes up with a word like ointment?
01:36:43
Speaker
Oint sounds like a pig, so maybe from a pig. It's possible, i'm not sure. i I just like it. it's It's just a weird ointment.
01:36:53
Speaker
Everybody go check out the Blind Mike Project for DJ Electrofly. I said fly. And if y'all need a producer, hit up DJ Electrofly as well. She needs to, you know, but the branch out, produce some more stuff. on Keep you busy, chick.
01:37:13
Speaker
wi a wicker Keep the money flowing in for you as a producer. And everybody who is watching, all seven of you, don't forget to like, share, subscribe.
01:37:27
Speaker
We have all types of different podcasts every night. We have Sundays or something with like Glick's the godmaster of all of us.
01:37:42
Speaker
um Tuesdays, well, Mondays is football. for how long it lasts now until Superbowl with Rick.
01:37:53
Speaker
And then Tuesdays is Wally. He does talking about cars and racing type stuff. Um, Wednesdays. That's me.
01:38:10
Speaker
And then thank you to snotty for joining me tonight. Um, Thursdays are talking about... it used to It's about like creatures like amphibians and whatever, but it's starting to switch up a little bit.
01:38:26
Speaker
Fridays are...
01:38:30
Speaker
to be continued. That will be figured out in the future. Saturdays, that's when all you bitches can come up in this bitch and join us. And yes...
01:38:45
Speaker
That's it, right? Some days... Oh, Cash... Glick does something with wrestling with his son. Hi there, Glick. Yeah, we're still figuring it out. Dude!
01:39:00
Speaker
Okay, hi, Glick. Shut up, man. hey I'm trying. It's been switching around, dude. Don't...
01:39:12
Speaker
This is my show, Glick. Okay? You can just get out of here. Hope you're well, though, Glick. Tell your lady I said hi. i Hope you're all or well.
01:39:25
Speaker
hey Hey, Kayla. Whichever lady you have now, you might have a new one since last time I... Oh, Mike, fucking... I'm glad you said it instead of me.
01:39:35
Speaker
That was supposed to be one your roast jokes. That's the only reason I said it. I'm not that mean. It was a shame that we got pushed out and we weren't able to do the roast there. But honestly, we had a sold out show, right? We did.
01:39:55
Speaker
And not everybody there knew who Click was. So like when yeah they wouldn't know why to laugh. because they don't know who he is.
01:40:07
Speaker
Yeah. So we are still planning that out so we can do it live on here.
01:40:16
Speaker
Live and in studio. We might be related, Snotty. I have the name Snodgrass in my family, FYI. I mean, it's possible. Well, I mean, Snodgrass comes from Castle Snodgrass. And the only way you got the name Snodgrass was bying by being a king, knight, or nobleman.
01:40:36
Speaker
So it's more of a ah no it's more of a castle name, as in, like, Tyler of Snodgrass, you know. Lord Snodgrass. So coming to America, you know.
01:40:53
Speaker
It branched out a little bit. So we may be related. We might might not be related. I'm more of an East Coaster Snodgrass. So... I'm kind of curious.
01:41:04
Speaker
Also, hello while at there, Glick.
01:41:09
Speaker
I said hi, too. I know. I'm trying to get... Those comments came in quick. Hey, man. I mean, that's a good problem to have. Have a bunch of comments and stuff like that. Getting some... ah Great traction.
01:41:25
Speaker
Okay, so we were talking yesterday or whatever. You have some shows coming up. Who, me? Possibly.
01:41:35
Speaker
No, the other fucking person on the panel. Yeah, I guess that is, yeah, that was a stupid question. um At the moment, I'm pretty darn open. um I got a couple recording recording engagements. I'm not allowed to talk to those, talk to you about those.
01:41:54
Speaker
Right. ah So those are going to be opening up pretty soon. And some pretty big things are going be happening more next year. um This year, I'm kind of just
Dedication to Comedy
01:42:06
Speaker
picking up what I can, filling in time where I can, ah going to open mics just to keep polished up and stuff like that. So I don't really have any huge gigs.
01:42:17
Speaker
You're coming down when I get the shows. Michael's coming. mike Yeah, absolutely. You booked me for a show, I'll be there. It's just that I haven't really been reaching out because I've got other things.
01:42:29
Speaker
I've been reaching out to a lot of places and Michael and Sue both said that they would come down as long as they have like enough like time to get it all set up.
01:42:41
Speaker
I don't know why I'm like being like a fucking airplane director. Finger guns over here. I don't know. la I've always wanted to.
01:42:57
Speaker
Post Malone. Wow, I'm gone. i did not get a lot of sleep last night, so I'm like. I got like two hours of sleep last night. I wonder fucking why. Yeah, well, you know.
01:43:13
Speaker
it's okay. you know well some Some days some days you know it tastes like beer. Some days it tastes like spring water. You just got those days. you know and it was one of them spring water days.
01:43:29
Speaker
I'll tell you what. Yeah, well. What are you going to do? so Do you plan on keeping on going with comedy? Oh, yeah. The situation like...
01:43:40
Speaker
situation is is like ah A while back, I did have like a little situation where i was like, I'm probably not going to go ahead and be like famous or anyone known comedy-wise.
01:43:51
Speaker
i was like And that made me kind of like reassess things. And i was like, well, what does that mean? does that What am I going to do? Am I going to quit? And it's like comedy is such a thing where like I could continue failing with it.
01:44:05
Speaker
I just could not not do it. You know what I mean? Comedy is such a part of me. Like, even if there's not a microphone in my hand, it's like still comedy, you know, comic Tyler, you know, so I don't think I could ever quit doing comedy just full out. It's just not a part of me anymore.
01:44:25
Speaker
Obviously, like, every bone in my body is, like, even if I'm not on a stage or whatever, when I'm talking to people, it's, like, it's just always comedy. I always try to, like, make people laugh and put a smile on their face. Like, that's my goal. Even if I'm, like, the most sad person ever, it's kind of like Robin Williams, you know what I mean? What about him?
01:44:51
Speaker
That's dark. But Because like he's like he's such a great, like happy person, but not really. Well, I mean, the thing is is that... Behind the curtains...
01:45:06
Speaker
that's That's the thing. A lot of comics, a lot of funny people in general are sad people. And the reason they're funny is because they're so sad they don't want anybody else to be sad. So they become a goofball. I swear I am black and white over here.
01:45:22
Speaker
I swear. not You're not. I feel. And they hide behind their humor because of it. All right. Yes. You're not.
01:45:33
Speaker
I swear I look black and white over here. um I don't I might be under saturated. That might be the situation. Anyways, that doesn't matter. Sorry. ADHD mind over here. Tyler, are you autistic by any chance? Oh, I don't know.
01:45:49
Speaker
but but oh no My eyes literally getting lit. That's fucked up. A three-year-old? I got beat up by a three-year-old? makes sense you you said you did put ice on it that's right yeah yeah well stop touching it touching it ain't gonna make it any better ye dork i'm not a whale's penis
01:46:17
Speaker
sometimes I bet you you'd probably be a ah a small whale's penis in comparison, though. like If you were a whale's penis, I think you'd be a rather small one. Because I think whale's penises are like a football field long or something like that. or Football fields? Holy balls.
01:46:34
Speaker
Dude, I'm telling you, dude. Dorks are huge. I'm going compare myself to a whale's penis. hu
01:46:43
Speaker
Nine out of ten grannies approve. There you go. yeah That's funny. I'm stupid.
01:46:54
Speaker
Anyways, I... Why do I want to be compared to a what fucking dork?
01:47:02
Speaker
I mean, i meant like the nerdy, you know, dork, not the actual appendix. Oh, I went there, bro, because we were talking about that before. Oh, it's so cold down here.
01:47:19
Speaker
It is rough, dude. i I tell you what, I can't stand winter anymore. if this If this comedy thing ever takes off, I will go ahead and tour the East Coast all through the summer. I'll go ahead and do the northern parts of America all through summer.
01:47:40
Speaker
But once winter hits, Florida, Texas, ahha you know, anywhere warm. Like, there... Once I do not have to be in cold weather anymore, i will never be again. i tell you that right now. Promise you.
01:47:57
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, you know, Florida got snow. Georgia. All types of folks down there. Oh my gosh, you want to talk about your car guys podcast?
01:48:08
Speaker
They should start bringing up about how ah NASCAR is about to have a snow day. Because the racetrack has snowed in for the first NASCAR race of the season.
01:48:20
Speaker
um Rednecks everywhere are pissed. Budweiser is about to go bankrupt. What the fuck called me? Oh.
01:48:29
Speaker
Sorry. Sorry. When I was digging out my car yesterday, don't know why I'm saying this. I probably shouldn't say this. No, fuck it, whatever. There was a firefighter that drove by and he like, you should get inside.
01:48:44
Speaker
You know, it's cold out here. And I was like, yeah, I'm going too soon. i just have to like, whatever. I dug her fucking car out because at least it one car could get out.
01:48:57
Speaker
And he like drove back And he gave me his number. and oh I thought he was stopping to like help me dig my fucking snow out. But no, he just wanted to be like, don't want to get a beer. And he's like 40 fucking something years old. He's hitting on you.
01:49:17
Speaker
i know. That's so stupid. You're sitting here working your butt off. One, one, one. All right. He's going to try and flirt from the car.
01:49:29
Speaker
Right. While you're working. And then he ain't even on a like say, Hey, you need any help digging? That's what I thought he was going to help me with. Like to like fucking get out and help me. Cause he's like in one of the like SUV fire, whatever majiggies.
01:49:49
Speaker
And i was like, was like, how old do you think I am? three or 29. I was like, Or 26, I think he said. I don't remember. I was like, thank you, but no. was like, he's like how old do you think was like, was like, the dude across the street is 80.
01:50:16
Speaker
i'm Trying to scrape up his fucking snow. I'm like, why aren't you talking to him? like If you're not going to get out here and help me with the snow, bitch, get out of my fucking way.
01:50:27
Speaker
like Yeah, that's that's kind of... don't know, dude. It was weird. You could have so much better game than that, though, dude. like if It was so weird. I just like shut i just like shut him up, basically. I was like, yeah, I'll take your number.
01:50:43
Speaker
But this needs to be a teachable moment for men in the future. If you if you see a lady digging out some snow... right on her car, and you actually want to go ahead and spit game, don't sit in your pickup truck and be like, hey, you want get a drink, honey? I Get out, shuffle that snow for and say, hey, by the way. you know that That would be a thing. like yeah Exactly. That's how you go ahead and get yourself a date. You you get some coffees.
01:51:15
Speaker
you know i mean i That's called James, son. No, I'm just kidding. What'd you say? I said I still might do it for some free drinks, but not his dad.
01:51:28
Speaker
Like a free meal. Let's go. No. He wasn't attractive for his age either. so But like he has no game. like Get out. Help me with my fucking ice snow fuck.
01:51:46
Speaker
ah It was such a pain in the ass. I'm still feeling it. My body hurts so bad from it, dude. Orlando must be crazy at 17 degrees, dude.
01:51:57
Speaker
Yeah, that's crazy. But I gotta tell you it's gotta be pretty magical to go to Harry Potter's Magical Kingdom. wanna go to that. It's winter outside.
01:52:08
Speaker
There's one in Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah? it's It's not as big. And in Virginia, they're it's just like a wooded area where they, like, blow it. But hold on.
01:52:19
Speaker
Pause. bre You remind me so much of my baby sis. Hi-ya! Okay, cool. Hey, thanks for joining us.
01:52:31
Speaker
I'll have to meet her. I'll tell you Sunday. Oh, that's this coming up Sunday. It's going to be 17th. I hear we're supposed to get another snowstorm too, man.
01:52:41
Speaker
Yes, I know. This weekend. I'm like, dude, there better not be another one before I go to Pittsburgh. I swear to God, dude. um Is there parking for me, by the way?
01:52:53
Speaker
Oh, I'll park on the street and you can be in my driveway. Oh, yeah. I saw where you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry. Yeah, you'll be able to park in the driveway. You're fine. I'm a gentleman. You get the driveway.
01:53:06
Speaker
Well, looks like there's two cars I can fit in there, right? No, yeah that's just how I shoveled it so that, you know, for the postman to go ahead and deliver mail.
01:53:19
Speaker
Oh, hell no. What are you all hell no? And also, Seanan, I'll tell you on Sunday, he's always fucking hiding shit.
01:53:29
Speaker
This bitch. i know Shaman. Oh, yeah? He never shows his face. Nobody knows what he looks like. Morse? No?
01:53:41
Speaker
Oh, is that Lazy Shaman? I think I called him Ninja Yoda last time I was trying to remember what his name was. It's Lazy Jedi and Shaman. That's it Okay. There's two different people.
01:53:56
Speaker
Look at me doing the airplane shit again.
01:54:00
Speaker
this way it's all right you know gotta to go ahead and emote there a little bit that's what the millennials like they like the moving screens they like the moving screen we should go ahead and start setting up three different cameras so we can just keep on because like millennia not even millennials i think it's like gen z's they're the real problem like they just can't like handle like not having quick cuts like their attention span is too slow what ah There's this one guy. he does this thing. i think it's like beagle or something. He's like bald but has like long hair.
01:54:39
Speaker
Okay. like Looks like a super creep. And he'll just like all of a sudden just go to his other camera and it'll like zoom and it'll like break people out. I fucking love it.
01:54:52
Speaker
My favorite ones are always... ah My brother-in-law started sending them to me. They're hilarious. It's Kermit the Frog, and he's got the ah cucumber. And he's like, hi there.
01:55:06
Speaker
want to see something? And she's like, yeah, I'll see something, Kermit. And he picks up the the cucumber like it's his dick. And she's like, Kermit! And she's like a proper freaking English dick.
01:55:19
Speaker
I love it. That makes me laugh for days. No! That's what you said. No! You can't even say a it right. lazy and jedi or lazy Jedi and Shaman really two different people, though? Why do I have an alarm We've never seen them in the same place at the same time, so who knows?
01:55:42
Speaker
The theory is out there. Yeah. They're both powder. Yeah.
01:55:51
Speaker
if lazy was here that guy is hilarious oh if you're talking about whatever yes he is oh shit shaman i have to photo i have to photo of meth squash and oh yes the crack oh is that is that an ai situation that's wild ohio fucking good ohio meth cat Wait, wait, so you're going to do a battle between Cocaine Bear, Crackoon, and Met Squash?
01:56:23
Speaker
Yeah, Met Squash and Crackoon versus Cocaine Bear and sirth or sirth Sir Beef Wellington. I can't fucking say it. I don't know who Beef Wellington is.
01:56:36
Speaker
They're not anybody. We made it up. Well, no cocaine bear is definitely is a situation. Crackoon, I've seen that move that ah meme everywhere where the cop pulled over the the raccoon who was like smoking meth in the passenger seat. That's wild, dude.
01:56:58
Speaker
Cocaine bear is based off of the real situation, though. That's like real shit. Okay, I don't know. mean, the movie isn't a true story, but it's based off of one. Glick made this like AI picture of it.
01:57:12
Speaker
What up? Cocaine Bear was a good place. Mesh Squatch would be pretty unformidable, dude. you know what i mean? like Cocaine Bear and Mesh Squatch might be a pretty wild matchup, dude. and Because one end is his fast watchch on on Mesh.
01:57:34
Speaker
And on the other hand, It's a barrel on cocaine. Those are like. Yeah. Right. It's a scenario from the Saturday night show is what Glick says. I've always wanted to be at the Saturday night show.
01:57:48
Speaker
Have you ever had that thought of like doing comedy on the Saturday night show? I kind of think it's gotten a little lame. Who me? Saturday night live. Yeah.
01:57:59
Speaker
Um, I mean, I definitely, I would definitely find it interesting to be on there. I don't think I'd want to be a cast member. I mean, it's not like I have a choice or anything. one-time thing, maybe. Yeah, the hosting would be awesome.
01:58:15
Speaker
Maybe even being a writer would be fun. It's very, it's a high stress environment. You're 24 seven, go, go, go, you know, so it's not something for the ill of heart and you have to have a serious talent and passion for it.
01:58:32
Speaker
So I think I would probably be better as a host rather than an actual cast member. Improv is a whole different scenario compared to like just sketch. Well, I mean, it's sketch. I mean, they have scripts, but they do go off script a lot. which is well well, yeah, yeah.
01:58:56
Speaker
I love one of my favorite Saturday Night Lives of recent is ah Well, two of them was the first Shane Gillis one. I didn't see the second Shane Gillis, but also the one where Bill Burr is on there. Because the best part is every single sketch, Bill Burr puts on a different wig. I know. It's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. It ruins me, dude. Bill Burr in a wig.
01:59:22
Speaker
And then, like, the the next day he's on his podcast talking about it. Oh, man, I can't tell you how fun it is just put on a wig. You can just do that. I figured out. You can just change your whole entire identity with just a wig.
01:59:37
Speaker
DJ Electra says she likes the glory hole sketch. That one was funny. I know what you're talking about. That was good. Glory holes are always fun time. ah Yeah, sure.
01:59:51
Speaker
Okay, so Glick, now that you're are watching, ah was talking about you, your picture with um Rick and your bellies put together. and they kiss. hands And they kiss and the sound that it makes is after they... Well, they're...
02:00:11
Speaker
Thank you. I can't do it. But there was an American. I forget if it's America's Got Talent, Australia's Got Talent, or in England's Got Talent. Oh, yeah. I i can't remember. Weren't they Asian dudes?
02:00:25
Speaker
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they were sumo wrestlers. And then they're like like, the crowd keeps giggling, laughing, like, shh. And Simon, no, I think it was America's or British.
02:00:37
Speaker
either britain yeah they it might i mean british is almost more popular than america's got talent well i know yeah how he was there and he was not happy about it at first who would like simon cowell he was on the panel or whatever and he was not happy about that whole thing it was Well, because he owns American Idol. American Idol is his yeah business. like you started that whole He started it to go ahead and actually find artists to put on his label.
02:01:13
Speaker
And that's like what American Idol originally was. He's kind of like the Gordon Ramsay of like singing. You know what I mean? like I can make have music like with a tissue.
02:01:25
Speaker
well I mean, that that's part of reality television. like You have to know that they're going to take the shit out of you. one Two, you're only shown on film if you go ahead and sign it over.
02:01:39
Speaker
so it's like whatever Simon says to somebody and however they're affected by it, they still signed off on it. So don't feel bad for any of those people. They signed off on, okay, I'll be completely ridiculed by half of America.
02:01:53
Speaker
Whatever. They signed a form for it. Yes. Okay. So do you know who Kevin Brannon is? I know who, I think I've done a couple of shows with Ray DeVito.
02:02:06
Speaker
ah Ray DeVito, I've definitely heard that name. I can't think off the top of my head. I think he used to do stuff out in Ohio. Ray DeVito sounds familiar. you though It does sound familiar, though. Kevin Brennan, I know Kevin Brennan, though.
02:02:24
Speaker
I don't know. I look at so many comedians. It's kind of like deferring I need to stop watching comedians now. Like, I've gotten to a point where, like, I hear some of but i hear some of my jokes come out with their jokes.
02:02:44
Speaker
And I'm like, fuck. So I don't want to, like, steal what they're saying. Even though it's a similar situation that I have been through. so um i call it uh the reason i don't listen to so i if i ever do listen to any comedy specials it's a very specific type of comedian that i know does not have material that would overlap with my style you know what i mean yeah i need to do that because i've been listening to meetings like jordan jensen it's a chick whatever
02:03:20
Speaker
She's very similar to like the deadpan type of joking.
Avoiding Material Overlap
02:03:27
Speaker
that And like dirty shit. and is that the dark haired one there that's on the reels all the time?
02:03:36
Speaker
probably no oh She kind of looks like she could be my older sister, to be honest. Mom, what are you doing?
02:03:47
Speaker
Fucking slur. Anyways. I hope she's not watching. But um I don't know. when is Whenever it comes to like comedy shows and stuff like that and specials, yeah the it has to be so disjointed from my material for me to actually like wash it. Because...
02:04:11
Speaker
I always say I don't want to forget someone else's joke and remember it as my own material. Right. Even to the point where I don't always watch people on stage whenever I'm at comedy shows.
02:04:28
Speaker
like Especially if I know that person and I have had similar ideas on things. Or even to the point where we've started talking about other jokes. Yeah.
02:04:39
Speaker
like if If we start tagging each other's jokes, that's when I got to separate myself from you. And I'll go ah out and have a ah cigarette or something like that. And if you want me to stay behind and listen in and tag your stuff, I will at that point.
02:04:56
Speaker
But it's just I'm too close to it at that point. and That's the thing with New Year's Eve. like You had the Taco Bell joke and...
02:05:07
Speaker
Michael Copenhagen had the plenty of fish joke. and I didn't even think about it of like connecting our jokes together. It's just like, and we could have done that and see that's, that's another thing with comedy. So the, here's the question. What's the difference between stealing a joke and having a same premise? Like how, I mean, like, so there's a situation where like,
02:05:34
Speaker
There's many ways to skin a cat. like um The punchline may be... Have you ever skinned a cat? I totally have. I have not. I had to do it. Really? Wait, what? In high school. AP Human Anatomy. Yeah, every Monday. What type of deranged school did you go to? Serial Killers High?
02:05:57
Speaker
it was AP Human Anatomy that I took. Okay. Okay. So we i mean Michael Myers. Is that what it was? i have a picture of me holding the dead cat, too. What were you in Jason? One oh one.
02:06:14
Speaker
think Was your teacher, Mr. Krueger? Like, ah or plus awesome. I fucking loved him. He was awesome. And like two of my partners, the brother named Kelly.
02:06:28
Speaker
Different spellings. Doesn't matter. Whatever. I was the only one that did it We had... I chose the ugliest cat.
02:06:36
Speaker
It was... They were already dead. There's literally... Like, you can order dead cats and pigs and frogs and whatever Well, know there... Yes, you can go ahead and... And it's not even the black left. That's like...
02:06:51
Speaker
No. Okay. So we have the cat going had, i had just I had to skin the cat, take it from the, okay. I'm not going to get too deep in it. oh in the cat We had to bring in a towel to like wrap it up in formaldehyde. And every Monday, that's how we, for weeks, for weeks, we had to dissect the cat because the cat's ah insides,
02:07:17
Speaker
other than monkeys are the closest to humans. So that's how we, have you ever been in the vicinity of consecutive murders at one point in time? ah Allegedly. This is like so serial killer vibes, dude. I am freaking out right now.
02:07:38
Speaker
So we had to ah bring in a towel. I brought in, It was a Barbie towel and soaked it in formaldehyde. We wrapped the cats up after we skinned it and did it, whatever. And then every Monday we'd have to come back. It was the first class every Monday, seven o'clock in the morning. I'm fucking cutting open. i'm fucking dead.
02:08:02
Speaker
No, like, I mean, I did Yeah. I did ah ah owl an owl's vomit. What is that thing? Like ah an owl ball or whatever?
02:08:14
Speaker
yeah I've done a cow stomach, a pig stomach, a guinea pig, frog. Cat. Yeah, that's probably the worst one that I did. I mean, like, a cat is over the top, dude. Like, I understand a pig. Like, these are just kind of like a frog, whatever. I mean, like, these are just kind of things.
02:08:37
Speaker
you But, like, a cat. I know, dude. Straight up. A cat is like. have to show you. No, do not show me any of that. If there's bacon in them buns, let's go. watches but Shark balls? You dissected shark balls?
02:08:58
Speaker
What were you on freaking Fear Factor? rather eat the nuts! Eat the nuts! um DJ, I haven't thought about that before, but yeah, maybe I i should make it a part of my set. I need to write more. I've been writing some more jokes lately. Shark balls? Shark balls are actually really good.
02:09:24
Speaker
All right. I mean, pause. I mean, I guess not pause. You're a female. You go ahead and love your nuts chick. Um, but wow. Hi there.
02:09:35
Speaker
Shark fritters are bomb. That's what I really meant. In nursing school, there's a arch bridge and a human called half Monty. Oh, Monty, how you doing?
02:09:51
Speaker
Now, see, that's what I'm saying. Okay. So animal control kills the cat and kills the dead bodies. Maybe. I don't know. but there I couldn't do anything in the medical field. I'd be done. yeah I'd be over with, dude.
02:10:08
Speaker
I'd be a college dropout if I went to med school. No. Shark fritters is what I meant, Baconator. They're just sharks. um I do like shark meat. Shark meat is pretty f freaking fantastic. and yeah It's good. Grasshoppers, sea urchin, frog, starfish, cat.
02:10:27
Speaker
Is that your top five? Dissected animal? What is up with your group, dude? You have a bunch of serial killers in your group. They're just like, so here's all the freaking animals I've dissected. Here we go. Is that what the she dissected? Or a grasshopper? That's like, you need like like ah I've eaten a grasshopper before. That makes more sense. Yeah, I've had grass. That's what I'm saying. like Is it what you've eaten? I've eaten grasshopper. I've had sea urchin.
02:11:01
Speaker
I've had frog legs. I've never eaten starfish. I've had one in my hand. It felt super cool. And I'm sure I've eaten cat because I've had Chinese food a bunch of times. When I worked at Spencer's, we had ah we had little boxes of dehydrated crickets, right? yeah And we would get them in all the time. And huny every once in a while, you'd have this kit. I don't know what it was. It was like a regular situation, regular enough to where there had to have been something going on.
02:11:37
Speaker
Thank you for stopping by, Nickinator. You're awesome. Kids would walk in and they would be like, i i will go ahead and buy all these boxes of crickets if you eat one.
02:11:50
Speaker
So like it'd be like every couple of months, I'd just go ahead and eat a ranch flavored cricket, you know. Okay, so that's what she dissected was a grasshopper. How do you fucking... A grasshopper is small. Grasshopper is small. I mean, I guess you go ahead and get under a microscope, you know what I mean?
02:12:11
Speaker
That's what I was saying. Like, you need a microscope for that shit. Not only that, but you have to be pretty dexterous, too, to... For sure. Are you a magician? You should try to imagine, too.
02:12:24
Speaker
Imagine me doing it. yeah I'm just like, ass, ass.
02:12:30
Speaker
if Dude, you that would be terrible. You're like a brain surgeon with Tourette's. Dude, that would be crazy. these that would be fucking hilarious. That's a good sketch. Well, you I'm an artist. So, like, when I draw and I'm focused like that, my Tourette's don't, it like, they don't go off.
02:12:50
Speaker
Okay, it's gonna go off now. Yeah. I feel it. I just feel it. Okay. Kenny cook. He's dissected a rabbit. Yeah. I've done that before too.
02:13:03
Speaker
Well, I cooked while I skinned it and cooked it. It didn't really dissect it. Gross or yuck. You ate grass peppers because you chose to. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, dude.
02:13:14
Speaker
Well, I didn't exactly choose to. the that were yeah They were on to go ahead and sell, um Well, they said they bet me if you eat one grasshopper, we'll buy all these packs of grasshoppers. And we would regularly get them in. And then randomly some kid would just come in and bet.
02:13:36
Speaker
I think it was probably a thing. But then you'd go ahead and sell all these freaking... All these grasshopper boxes. And you know what? Cricket's not that bad. It's not that bad. really isn't that bad. I was scared to do it. They have Cajun ones. They have ranch ones. They have sunflower seeds.
02:13:56
Speaker
Shaman said he's eaten crickets before. We can get rid of this other fuck for attention, my ass. But yeah.
02:14:06
Speaker
i okay when i went to ecuador they had these like larva that were like this big on like a barbecue thing i'm a little weird about insects dude not gonna lie Well, those, they like pop, you know, like a... no When you eat No! i never i I was the last person in line. and Well, the person in front of me got the last one. I was like, oh my God, thank goodness, because I really did not want to eat it.
02:14:38
Speaker
You shouldn't have gotten in line! Why did you get in line Because, I don't know, man. I wanted to try it. am a ballsy bitch, okay?
02:14:50
Speaker
No, there's just some things that you're like, you can have all that, bro. Escargo. hear people talk about how amazing Escargo is. It's so gross. No, it's disgusting. You can Esco fuck yourself. Fuck yourself, yes. That's what I was saying. You can Escargo fuck yourself. No, it's so gross.
02:15:12
Speaker
i couldn't I couldn't swallow it. It was disgusting. And fraud legs, I don't like them either. an alligator. Gross. i've never I've never had alligator. I would probably try alligator.
02:15:27
Speaker
What else did you say? Frog legs. Frogs, yeah. i'm not Frogs are a different type of situation. i'm not about frogs. I had kangaroo, though. I've had kangaroo. I've kangaroo. That's actually not too darn bad, dude. It's a little bit like deer meat, but you know.
02:15:46
Speaker
It's a little game. you're into deer meat, I love deer jerky. So now i'm just going off. Well, um I'll skin the deer for you. You can cook it. Let's go.
02:15:57
Speaker
Well, I don't really know how to prepare myself. i'll shoot Okay, I'll do it all. I'll shoot the deer, skin it, and fucking cook it. Let's get I mean, I can definitely go off and shoot the deer. I'm definitely, I i was a Boy Scout, so i'm good I'm good with a weapon. Now, do I regularly go hunting or anything? Nah, I don't need to.
02:16:18
Speaker
i can fish real well, but we're in the 21st century, dude. We have storage for that shit. Yeah, true. I'll go ahead and get my jack wings and be happy with that.
02:16:32
Speaker
Jacklings, of course. I will escogar a myself then because I loved it. Hey, you know, different strokes for different folks. That's just like um clams and stuff like that.
02:16:47
Speaker
Like clams are just like, ugh. I like clams. Oh, I used to love them. And like, oh, well, mussels, mussels more so. Oh, I love mussels. Mussels are my favorite. With some lemon and butter. and i like wow Oh, you get the lemon kind. I like a little bit more of a buttery, you know. Well, yeah, butter, but I put a little lemon on it.
02:17:09
Speaker
so yeah I've never tried it with lemon. But where do you where do you get kangaroo? I went to Myrtle Beach, and it was some country singer had an Australian bar there.
02:17:24
Speaker
And he had kangaroo there. Sold it. that It was kangaroo tail. So they cut yeah finger off off the pacific tail. yeah It was a taco that I had. it was in Ocean City, Maryland.
02:17:42
Speaker
What was it that you had? kangaroo tail. That's where I had kangaroo. My brother was an amazing hunter. That's awesome. Clams are pretty good, Shaman says. Yeah, they're pretty dope.
02:17:55
Speaker
I like mussels more than clams. And you're from Maine, right? Do I? You're from Maine, right? Maryland. Maryland, yes. But like on the waterways there, right?
02:18:08
Speaker
Well, i lived there for our years. But yeah, Eastern Shore, I lived there for years. But I'm from Frederick, Maryland. Like above Baltimore. Such good seafood out there.
02:18:18
Speaker
i yeah and i'm not like a super huge seafood person. I'm very happy with seafood. But... date like i could I could give a shit about most fish. like Most fish is just like it is what it is. It's like a filet-o-fish. Y'all want to surprise me with that? you know But then there's like you get your mussels, your clams, you get into like some calamaris.
02:18:45
Speaker
Fried. Fried freaking anything is fantastic. Reuters taste like snot. I don't agree with that. You have to make them correctly.
02:18:55
Speaker
No, I don't do oysters. I don't do clams. I will do mussels. For a lot of people, it's the texture. But all of them are aphrodisiacs.
02:19:08
Speaker
What you say? All of them aphrodisiacs, though. Yeah, well. cur Keith Urban, I don't know what that means. I don't think he i don't think it was Keith Urban's restaurant.
02:19:22
Speaker
Ceviche Because I think Keith Urban's I love this bar And grill I think that's what Keith Urban's is I love this bar Yeah I'm pretty sure Keith Urban's I love this bar and grill is I'm pretty sure that's what his whole restaurant name yeah I think that's such a wild name Kenny I'm getting fucking hungry now too bro Oh my god. Ceviche is bomb. Okay, so my dad... What is ceviche?
02:19:58
Speaker
Ceviche is like a raw, like... I don't know. You can make it in different ways. My dad makes it with, like, shrimp and stuff. It's like a cold thing.
02:20:12
Speaker
don't even know how to explain it. I'm doing bad at this. Let me Google this shit real quick so I can explain it.
02:20:21
Speaker
I mean, I'm always down for some good shrimp, dude. I mean, love calamari, too. I don't even care if it's anuses. It has to be good. Whatever. It tastes good.
02:20:34
Speaker
do you know that that's a true situation? A lot of places go ahead and use the ring of the butt for calamari. That's wild. Okay, so ceviche is a cold Latin American dish of raw fish or selfish cooked fish.
02:20:51
Speaker
quote unquote denatured and citrus juices, typically lime or lemon, and mixed with seasoning like chili peppers, onions, cilantro, and salt.
02:21:02
Speaker
Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's like it's like a talky, you know, like a talky flavored shrimp and noodles, I'm guessing? Because it's chili and lime? there's your middles it's just It's just like the... How we make it is just like shrimp and peppers and whatever with the juices and shit.
02:21:24
Speaker
Okay, so it's basically just drenched shrimp then? Yeah, basically. i would go ahead and put some noodles in there. go Why not put noodles in there? that's what i said My dad's wife... Everything's better with noodles, dude.
02:21:39
Speaker
She's a bitch. But anyway, she would put popcorn in it. And I was like, dude, that sounds weird. It sounds so fucking weird. And my dad said the same thing.
02:21:52
Speaker
it's like It's like a salsa, yeah. Like DJ Electra said. It's kind of like that. Do you know what this pizza place started making up at my house? it's um It's hot sausage, right?
02:22:08
Speaker
Pizza. right and then they also put popcorn chicken and then like toss in buffalo sauce so it's buffalo chicken popcorn shrimp and hot sausage on a pizza and then they drizzle it with hot sauce and uh ranch that sounds like a miracle in your mouth and then it's a sicilian as well i know it's a sicilian style pizza I'll show you a miracle in my mouth.
02:22:44
Speaker
No, and you know I fucking love pizza. That sounds bomb. i have like When I worked at all four of the pizza places that I worked, I experimented with so many different things. That sounds bomb.
02:22:57
Speaker
Let's fucking do it in a week and a half. It's in Pittsburgh. We can go ahead and drive out to Pittsburgh and get some pitt pizza out there. It's ah out on Mount Washington. We can get in before we do Scarpazies.
02:23:11
Speaker
Don't judge, K-Tow. Also, she said, I'm working on a project. I'm kind of late with this. Toby Keith saying, i love this bar. This bar is in Oklahoma City.
02:23:22
Speaker
I'm assuming. I don't know. And also that pizza... i'm assuming i and also that pizza Oh, yeah. it's It's off of his song.
02:23:34
Speaker
i understand that. It's just it's a ridiculous name for it to be Keith Urban's I Love This Bar and Grill. It's just a wild name to see you on the sun and you drive past it and you're like, what?
02:23:50
Speaker
Yes, it's off of his song, though. Yeah. a whole pack of king sawaian And that's in Oklahoma City, you say? and That's why I think it's Oklahoma City, I believe.
02:24:01
Speaker
oh I don't know. don't do too well with the with the state were abbreviations. There you go. I was waiting for you to figure it out. I know Arizona AZ. Dude, Louisiana screws with me because Louisiana is l a but you think like you're going to Los Angeles. So I was going to... Dude, I almost had a heart attack in the airport one day because it said Louisiana, LA. And I was like, I don't want to go to California.
02:24:38
Speaker
Dude, I had such a heart attack. And then i was like, oh, Louisiana is LA. go Idiot. yeah
02:24:49
Speaker
Oklahoma City. keith Toby Keith. Sorry, we've been on here longer than I thought we would be. So I'm going to make a sandwich. cause i'm I'm probably on a... I'm not sure if I want to have a chicken broccoli fettuccine.
02:25:07
Speaker
um Mac and cheese bake. Or a, oh, I could have Salisbury steak, potatoes, and carrots.
02:25:18
Speaker
No, corn. Or I could have Parma chicken bowl. I'm not sure which one I want to have. Have them all.
02:25:30
Speaker
I wish. that's that's my That's my whole two weeks freaking diet right there.
02:25:41
Speaker
What are you munching on, huh? My food. What?
02:25:50
Speaker
All of our listeners going to be so pissed off. Don't eat on on the podcast. It's like, hang on. You it when you can it. Look at this. I need i need the meats.
02:26:05
Speaker
Yeah, she needs it. It needs to happen.
02:26:12
Speaker
What? Because you're so thin. You need... Alright. I was agreeing with you.
02:26:22
Speaker
Also, I will She's blessing because it's my meat she's going after. Shut your flaps.
02:26:35
Speaker
No. Shut up. Shut up.
02:26:40
Speaker
I didn't say anything. I said one thing and been quiet since.
02:26:47
Speaker
I forgot what I was going to say now, you fuck. I know. You fart nugget. That sounds like a pizza made by someone with Downs. But I tell you what, it probably sounds amazing.
02:27:05
Speaker
I'm telling you, that pizza... When I saw it, I was like, what is that? Oh, that's interesting. A buffalo chicken a pizza.
02:27:16
Speaker
But then he's like, no, it's hot sausage. And buffalo chicken, popcorn chicken or whatever. i was like, wow, that sound that actually... I definitely would have to smoke beforehand, to be honest. Well, I mean, they they also give you a pretty decent sized Sicilian as well. So yeah, you're going to have to go ahead and smoke up before you go ahead and pound that.
02:27:43
Speaker
Yes, it is. Is cold in the basement? Yes, she was saying that it was cold down there. I haven't been here for a few days. It got snowed in at another house, so the heat hasn't been on. So, yeah, it's been really cold.
02:27:56
Speaker
Got the heat on now. It's getting warmer. We good. I got a new, like, little fuzzy jacket. A little cardigan. Is that what you would call those?
02:28:09
Speaker
Cardigan? Well, it's like a hoodie without the hood. Yeah, I think those are cardigans, aren't they? Cardigans are more fancy. I kind of like a cardigan, man. I do. They're pretty nice. They're comfy. They're cozy. You know, you go to Christmas in a cardigan, you know, that's what I was going to wear on New Year's Eve. I have this dress and a cardigan and my tights and the boots. But I showed up soups late and it fucking sucked and I looked like trash on stage and I was so mad about that. I'd had no time to change. I slapped a little bit of atho I just hit my eye. I can't believe you just did that. You got a quick touch in your eyeball butt.
02:28:53
Speaker
I forgot about it. but yeah, no, I slapped some eyeball. makeup on and just like, alright, fuck it. Sue picked me up and like, Michael did his shit.
02:29:05
Speaker
He was funny as fuck. I don't know why he's so mad at himself. I fucking need Anyways, I'm not gonna get into Because we're artists, we're always going to hyper fixate on everything. The tiniest thing no one will ever notice, you're gonna go ahead and hyper fixate on.
02:29:21
Speaker
But it, ah I'm not gonna get into it. I think he's funny as fuck. That's my big bro right there. So is Glick. He'll get jealous if I don't bring him into it.
02:29:33
Speaker
It was a good night. It was just so fucking hectic. Yeah. It was just a hectic. Glick actually grabbed my ass that night. He got a whole hand on it, dude.
02:29:44
Speaker
After me? Yeah, dude. he went ahead and just full on groped me. And I was not complaining. That man knows how to go ahead and hold a booty. Sure enough, dude.
02:29:56
Speaker
He has a... he I mean, he's a giant. I would i would say about 5 out 10, you know, on Yelp. Because it wasn't like I wanted it. I would rather have had it from a female. But, you know, Glick does have some precision, dude.
02:30:11
Speaker
So did he get you by surprise like when I did? When I first walked in the door and you were at the fucking... dude i was so bummed at that moment too because i was trying so hard to go get a drink all i wanted was water i didn't want alcohol i didn't want a soda i didn't want a mixed drink all i wanted was one bottle of water one bottle for like 15 minutes dude but it was funny sue and i were talking about you and you just happened to be there and i was like me
02:30:44
Speaker
But then, so I was like, okay, screw it. I'll go. i know that there's a vending machine upstairs. I'll just get water from there. All right? Whatever. but I walk up there, and every time I get the the water, it brings this zoom, zoom.
02:31:03
Speaker
And then it drops it straight down to the bottom. And it goes zoom, zoom. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. And then nothing will come out. Yeah. And it did that to me like three times. It kept giving me my change back. but Yeah, I went downstairs, said hi to the people that I knew and talked to a couple other people that knew who I was for whatever reason.
02:31:31
Speaker
i guess the podcast. but And I came back up and you were still there. i was like, what the fuck? All I wanted was the water.
02:31:43
Speaker
That's all I wanted was the water. and then And then you're like, hey, can you go over there and get me a drink when I finally got a water? She's like, hey, by the way can you go over to the bar and get me a drink?
02:31:54
Speaker
I was like, yeah, sure. And the dude, what whenever she needs a drink, dude walked direct, beelined it to me. Right? He's like, what do you need? He didn't even work there.
02:32:05
Speaker
He didn't even work there. And then he gave me two of them. I asked for a double shot. He gave me two of them with a double shot in it. I was like... That other bitch was so rude. You didn't bring me a drunk tonight.
02:32:21
Speaker
I understand that she like had a bunch of coworkers call off or whatever because of the blizzard that was happening. Yeah. Yeah. But like, i was like, dude, I'm about to go up on the stage in like five minutes. Can you please like, she was like, this dude had just shown up and I had been standing there for like, whatever, however long. She was like, oh, I got to get him first. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? She just like rolled her eyes and was so fucking rude to me.
02:32:49
Speaker
was like, I'm one of the comedians can like, like, I'll, I'm so pissed that I tipped her five bucks. I'm so mad. I'll be completely honest. um I haven't had too great a service from those folks down there.
02:33:07
Speaker
I'm just honest, put it that way. When I got left there by boy three times and neither none of the times were they all that. Oh, the first time I went there when I was left there. huh.
02:33:22
Speaker
They were amazing. Awesome. Completely amazing. was a different chick. Like, they even, like, helped me out, like, when they opened and everything. Gave me free drink while I was waiting for my dad to come pick me up when I was left there.
02:33:40
Speaker
Blake. ah Yeah. Fuck that shit. First time was a good thing. i mean, it was still shitty because of the situation that I was in.
02:33:50
Speaker
But the underground lounge was good then. You were also there for a private party as well. So that's a different situation. Are they going to be mad about getting a sold out show?
02:34:03
Speaker
Apparently that did seem like that was what their problem was. Even though that dude was like, he was like, you don't even know who I am. laley and I was like, yeah, you're right. I don't. He's like, I'm this person. And they come to find out he's part of the owners of the place.
02:34:23
Speaker
I was like, oh, shit. He was really nice. It was the only... it was the chick that it gave me attitude, mostly. Yeah, that chick's always been something, dude. don't know. The blonde one.
02:34:36
Speaker
There's another blonde one from the first time that I was there. Sorry, excuse me. Yeah, I... There's been other people, but that chick specifically, the one that was there behind the bar, I've never... Yeah, she was always kind of dickish. She kept ignoring me the whole time. I'm like, hello? Hello?
02:34:54
Speaker
And that's why when the dude that didn't even work there, he's like, yeah, i don't even work here. He was cool as shit. Yeah, he was chill. He was chill. I did give him five bucks.
02:35:05
Speaker
He was probably high as fuck, too. Drunk as well. You know, he was at the bar and he's like, I'll go ahead work. I think it was her boyfriend or something. I don't know. He looked young compared to her, but you never know. It was a good time, regardless.
02:35:23
Speaker
The best pizza I ever had was the Pioneer Woman's Pizza Place. Woodfired Italian style. I got to say, we got some pretty darn good pizzas around Pittsburgh. like You'd be surprised.
02:35:39
Speaker
I mean, you do have to ah search for them. We also have some pretty darn good like name brands like the Blaze Pizza, you know, Antony's Stonefire.
02:35:53
Speaker
ah You got Mall Pizza up in Beaver County, which is actually authentic New York style pizza. I'll make you a fucking pizza that will kill you Well, in a good way.
02:36:09
Speaker
yeah and There's this one place in Mount Airy, Maryland. Nobody knows where Slopock that is. um that It's called... Fuck.
02:36:21
Speaker
What is What is it called?
02:36:26
Speaker
What is it called?
02:36:30
Speaker
All I've got to say is now I have a hankering for mall pizza right now, though. Because I could really dig that. can always go for pizza. But has, like, the cornmeal on the bottom. like they Oh, okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about, yeah.
02:36:45
Speaker
Dude, it's right on the tip of my fucking twat. um Anyway, they have really good pizza. That's my dad's favorite place to go. Is it an oven fireplace?
02:36:59
Speaker
Fucking ass balls. Yeah, you gotta stop doing that, kid. You gotta stop hurting yourself. Um, yes. It's like a whole ass fucking oven place.
02:37:12
Speaker
Yeah, that's why they get the cornmeal on there so it doesn't scorch the scorch the dough. Oh my god, I can't remember the fucking name and it's bugging me. Oh, well, whatever. And then they have, like, caramelized onions and bacon and pepper. Oh, my God. I want it now.
02:37:30
Speaker
What's your favorite? not I mean, I know we're supposed to be talking comedy. All right. When you're backstage at a comedy show, what type of pizza do you get? but we are know the funny kind. The funny nah, nah, nah, nah.
02:37:46
Speaker
but not not november I'm not, okay. Well, since I've worked at so many different pizza places, I have been able to experience or experiment.
02:37:59
Speaker
That's what I meant to say. Experiment with many a different toppings.
02:38:06
Speaker
um I do like me cheese, jalapeno, pineapple, and then the hu a mango habanero sauce.
02:38:18
Speaker
Hmm. thats so good You can keep the pineapple. I'm not too crazy about pineapple except for by itself. It is what it is. And that wasn't always... And actually, even now, I'm not too crazy about pineapple. Because I went... Okay, so check this out.
02:38:35
Speaker
I went to Hawaii. Huh? Huh? So your cum tastes gross.
02:38:43
Speaker
Well, so I went to Hawaii, right? And I went to McDonald's and instead of French fries at McDonald's, they give you pineapple.
02:38:56
Speaker
i Right. So I'm sitting
Hawaiian McDonald's Experience
02:39:00
Speaker
there. I'm having my McDouble, my big Mac, uh,
02:39:07
Speaker
some fries, bloy blah, blah, blah, blah. I probably had like two, three sandwiches. And then I pull out the the pineapple, you know, situation. I started munching on that.
02:39:20
Speaker
Dude, that is the best pineapple I have ever had in my life. The pineapple situation is how you put it. That's funny as shit. I mean, that pineapple is undeniable.
02:39:32
Speaker
I love pineapple. It's so good. yeah It's from McDonald's, so you know they pumped it full of some type of addictive chemical. that oh For sure, probably. and Which, I mean, if you're on a do-it, do it to pineapple. you know That's kind of the thing you want people to be addicted to. Yeah, get all your fruits in, dude. Absolutely. taste better Oh, there's cat hair everywhere. What's up What? Make your gum taste better. What?
02:39:58
Speaker
Well, there's a couple of things. You have to also get like zinc, celery, I wasn't trying to get into it, but ew. Ew, I don't like celery. I fucking hate celery.
02:40:10
Speaker
Well, there's like a whole entire smoothie that you make, and you make a nice little smoothie, and then it it kind of like becomes your ah your pre-workout, as it were. Okay.
02:40:21
Speaker
yeah Celery, if there's anything celery in it, that's all I will taste, and i don't want it. Well, the thing is is, you're not supposed to drink it. it's It's for the dude to go ahead and have better, you know.
02:40:36
Speaker
come please. Yeah, the whole entire situation. I'm trying to get my hat and inside my O here for some reason. See this? yeah If anybody is sitting here with us, do doing with us. Anyways. ADHD, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
02:40:55
Speaker
don't know. Tyler, do you think you have ADHD? iint Do you think you're autistic? I don't know. It's possible. It's definitely a possibility. We've been on here for two hours 41 minutes. We're about to do a Joe Rogan podcast over here. Three hours, dude.
02:41:11
Speaker
Killing it.
02:41:14
Speaker
I didn't know how long we would last. Oh, well, i have great stamina.
02:41:25
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
02:41:28
Speaker
Anyways, thank you for joining in me. What? Thank you for joining me. I'm going dip out on the the live thing. oh yeah. We can go ahead and ah close up the show.
02:41:43
Speaker
Thanks for having me. Of Good seeing you all, folks. Thanks for watching me, and i hope you enjoyed, you know, chilling with us. tyler jas Tyler James Jude, Snoddy Snodgrass, Bullshitter at Law. Thank you very much.
02:42:01
Speaker
Yeah, go check out his shoes. Oh.
02:42:07
Speaker
I got your sticker right here. Oh, there you go. People call LeBron James the gloom. Does that make his wife El Chupacabra the goat sucker?
02:42:19
Speaker
The goat sucker. Yeah, I still got your sticker. Dude, it's been snowing and I have salt in my car, so I haven't been able to put it on my bumper yet. Well, it's okay. There's no rush.
02:42:32
Speaker
But I am very happy you want to put it there. I'm not putting any stickers on my car. I'll tell you that much. But I'll go ahead and sell them. Five bucks a pop or best offer, folks. Whenever I go to shows and open mics or just anything around, then I need a couple extra bucks for gas, cheeseburgers, you know, Taco Bell. It's it's mostly Taco Bell. but It's always Taco Bell. who's o we line Even though they got rid of the beef quesarito already.
02:43:03
Speaker
But, um... Yeah, so those are $5 a piece or best offer. If you see me out and about, come grab one. Do it! no I'm sorry. I had your link on here, but it's not there anymore.
02:43:21
Speaker
But yeah, check out Snotty Snotgrass. Snotty Comedy on Facebook, YouTube, and CastBox. and bramping and the ban ain ain't a Yeah. So thank you all for coming out. Whoever's left.
Event Closing Remarks
02:43:39
Speaker
There's seven people. I feel like I should stay. but but yeah no nogivingdding No, thank you guys for coming out.
02:43:52
Speaker
It's awesome. i metal metal metal and middle middle me i a let la Check out the other shows. I need to figure out the schedule, I guess, according to click. Um,
02:44:03
Speaker
um Tomorrow is the reptile show with Wally. Not reptile. at It's slithering something. Dude, I need to cancel this show. Thank you guys for coming out. Thank you, Snotty, for being here. Thanks for having me, as always.
02:44:27
Speaker
Yes. Have a good night. Like, so subscribe, like, whatever the fuck. What is that? Like, share, subscribe. then ah And then we're missing Michael tonight. That was us at the show.
02:44:44
Speaker
Okay. We're ending this. I don't know what the ending fucking scene is. I think it is Michael. So, since we didn't have him tonight, we'll end it with them And the Southern Outlaw.
02:44:57
Speaker
Whatever.
02:45:00
Speaker
I'm getting distracted. ADHD is a bitch. The Southern Outlaws Band is the friends with Michael. Anyways, end stream. Bye. this isn aye