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Nonsensical Nonsense 353 Catapults Slingshots illegal immigration solved
65 Plays2 years ago
Fancy pool water, shitty Mexican beer,Glick solves the illegal immigrant problem, Jeff is a pretentious prick, Dodge FAFO, Judge gets hit with the hit stick, Giants beware a sasquatch is coming for you and so much more
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Transcript
00:01:42
Speaker
Yes.
Introduction & Tone Setting
00:02:54
Speaker
Welcome to the shit show! Welcome to the shit show!
00:03:17
Speaker
What a fucking show. Bitches. And holes. Make sure you weren't getting us back there. What's going on? Oh, not much. Moving in the background, all kinds of shit.
00:03:48
Speaker
What's going on?
Sports Talk: Jim Harbaugh & Fan Culture
00:03:49
Speaker
Tim Conrad. We all know to Jim Harbaugh to the charges, Sean Moore's taken over head coaching. It'll be all right in Michigan. You're a higher state fans. All the money you've spent on all of those transfers from Alabama. I don't know if you watch the Alabama Michigan game in the Rose Bowl. They didn't help Alabama. What makes you think they're going to help you? You're goofy bastards.
00:04:15
Speaker
I'm down Buckeye Nation. Michigan fans aren't even freaking out. You're the only ones out there freaking out. Anyways, let's get the show started. I know Tim, you're not a Buckeye fan, but yeah, good evening. I'm going to get that out there because I know we have some people that watch that are Buckeye fans and they're like, oh, we're finally going to win. No, we're still going to beat you for a fourth year in a row. We're going to win our fourth big 10 championship and we'll be in the playoffs for the fourth time in a row. So take it all.
00:04:43
Speaker
It'll all be fine in Michigan. Everything will be alright in Michigan fans that are freaking out. Every little thing is going to be alright. Everything's going to be fine. Not going to freak out. I'm not going to do what you think I'm going to do.
00:05:14
Speaker
before they are, etcetera. Alright, everybody? Amen. Let's just take
Podcast Engagement & Community Interaction
00:05:20
Speaker
a pill. Anywho, what's going on everybody? Happy Wednesday. Welcome to nonsensical nonsense. He's Jeff. We're doing our thing. Hanging out. You know how it is. Another hump day full of shenanigans and fuckery.
00:05:38
Speaker
If you're not already, go ahead and check out the social medias, the Facebooks, the Instagram X and tick tock. Don't forget. You can't hang out with us live. You can hang out with us live every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch. There's seven, seven 30 is somewhere in that timeframe. No later than seven 30, no earlier than seven. We have that half hour locked in.
00:06:05
Speaker
somewhere in that behind the scenes shit that happened. Folks, there's behind this challenge. It's just usually just sitting here playing on our phones, but whatever. But you can't hang out with us live. You can get in the chatters box. You can shoot to shoot with us Saturday nights. We do drop the link and invite you guys up out of the chatters box and live on screen to hang out with us, which has been fun the last few weeks.
00:06:36
Speaker
As long as the rules are obeyed, your hammer has to be on. Yeah. You can also listen to us anytime, any place, wherever you listen to podcasts, all that nonsensical nonsense podcasts, or you can simply go to bio.link right down there at the bottom of your screen, bio.link slash nonsensical nonsense. All those links are there. You can click on them. Find them super easy, including links to our sponsors. If you want to check them out, don't forget to use our promo code words are hard at checkout.
00:07:05
Speaker
So then we'd
Sponsor Shoutouts & Listener Support
00:07:06
Speaker
be much appreciative if you give us a follow and maybe give us a share if you'd like. Yeah. Sharing is caring. Sharing is caring, ladies and gentlemen. Sharing is absolutely- Not caring. Not caring. And if you want to be a Karen, you can call the manager. The number three manager is- You want to fuck off. You can also reach an HR manager at HR manager
00:07:34
Speaker
Go fuck yourself at nobodycares.com. And they'll get back to you promptly. I hear that our HR has a fantastic reputation for responding in a fast and timely manner to remind you. Now I'm going to tell you the same thing that our HR department will tell you.
00:07:57
Speaker
We have zero. We have zero. Zero fucks to give. Yes. This is my idea. We planted a whole crop of fucks. Yeah. They just haven't come up yet. Once they come up, then we'll still have zero fucks to give. They're already sold. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. They are. They are in very high demand. So.
00:08:25
Speaker
Because we gather our fucks. Yes, let us gather our fucks. I got no fucks to give. My fucks have run its dry. So how's your week going this week so far, sir? Oh, interesting to say the least. I'm kind of in the same boat.
00:08:46
Speaker
Uh, yes, uh, we'll, we'll leave it at that for the time being. Uh, interesting. Am I in my personal world to, uh, to say the least and it's only Wednesday. So very used to how the rest of the week goes, but, uh, we did have a really good show on Monday night.
Reflecting on Mental Health Themes
00:09:05
Speaker
Yeah. I, you know, I, I was going to come, but like I said, I, I got so swamped Mondays are terrible for me.
00:09:13
Speaker
but I got done and I laid my eyes. Like I got like 15 minutes for Chris's show. I'll go ahead. I just laid out and next thing I woke up like four hours later, you know, it happens. Uh, yeah, I know. Uh, Monday was a very good show. Um, heavy to say the least. Um,
00:09:39
Speaker
But, uh, you know, it was really cool having Hoss come on the show and, and kinda Cheryl, uh, just the tip of the iceberg, I guess you could say, uh, is his, uh, you know, he, he basically wants to get stuff off of his chest. He's, he's starting to do the mental healing process. And part of that is getting the shit off of your chest and, uh, you know, unfortunately for, for him, that. Entitled is going way back into the.
00:10:06
Speaker
Into the archives, so to say, and digging up a lot of things that you would.
00:10:11
Speaker
Yeah, big enough. A lot of things from the past and speaking on them and talking about them and everything like that. So, um, huge shout out and major props to Haas for, for, uh, you know, being brave enough to do that. And I want to do it on our, uh, of all places, our show. But as I told you, you know, as I told you Monday night, super proud of the guy I've seen the change the difference in him in the 10 years that I've known him, um, super proud of the guy, but, uh, Connor came up and, uh,
00:10:38
Speaker
Connor was there for a little while and got involved in the conversation and spoke on kind of where his head's been with everything going on in his world. And Brian came up. Brian, Brian. And I got to learn a lot of things about Brian. Brian and I have a very similar upbringing.
00:11:03
Speaker
Brian, Brian kind of reminds me of a smaller version of you. Uh, yeah, we have a very similar upbringing, but, uh, could not be any more opposites on how we dealt and handle things. He is the Mexican version of you. Monday's night, Monday night show did birth a new brainchild from me. Uh-oh. So from now on, Monday's shows will be focused on men's mental health.
Men's Mental Health Focus
00:11:31
Speaker
nice nice and his name is um uh we uh you know it's something that i originally wanted to do with the monday night shows when i started doing them by myself
00:11:48
Speaker
try to dance around with it a little bit, but that's a hard conversation to have by yourself. Unless you're, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not super smart. I'm well, I'm retarded at the end of the day. It's also, it's like, unless you have an agree in it, you don't really have the, I don't want to say fortitude, but the, the authority to, to go off on a rant on it, you know, and,
00:12:15
Speaker
And you may be passionate about it, and others may be passionate about their mental health as well. But it's like, as we always say, I'm no expert. So you're no expert. But you have had your demons and things like that. So I'm actually excited for you. I think that'll be kind of awesome. Like I said, Mondays are crazy for me.
00:12:40
Speaker
Uh, I do have a sports related story for you, sir. Yeah. So, you know, that's kind of what Brian and I said, you know, I don't, Oh, I do. Um, yeah, we know. And I kind of brought you up because we were talking about sobriety and stuff like that. Uh, something I also know nothing about, uh, becoming sober and whatnot. Um, and, uh, cause, uh, Hoss is sober now and you know, I'm not,
00:13:11
Speaker
I'm not sober in the aspect I gave it all off. You're sober adjacent. Yeah. So, you know, as I explained it and I've said it before, I have control where I didn't have control before. Now I do. Right. So, but, you know, I don't want some talking head that has a piece of paper. Agree. Yeah. You want somebody you can relate to. I feel like it's going to be, you know, a lot better
00:13:39
Speaker
Subjects to speak on when you have people and we've we said, you know We'd bring guests up and stuff like that on the show from time to time as well You know that wanted to talk about different things and maybe their own personal experiences and stuff like that But Brian's super smart and Brian's been Through a lot a lot of shit that I didn't know and a lot of shit that I learned Monday night And he had his own way. He's more of the calmer and
00:14:07
Speaker
you know, like, you know, in the, in the yin yang spectrum of the world, I'm like, I'm like the yin that's crazy out of control. Uh, you know, and then Brian's, the yang is the eye of the storm. So to speak, I'm the outer layer of the storm, just the complete, but, um,
00:14:28
Speaker
And I think that's going to be a cool combination and talking on those subjects. So it'll, it'll be a, I think it'll be a cool fun, a new show to do. And at the same time, not to step on anybody's toes who, um, do mental health shows or anything like that. Uh, because I do want to, it's almost your own take on it. You know, it's a different kind of,
00:14:53
Speaker
take, you know, where most people that do mental health shows, I'm pretty sure they have like, either a degree or they're studying it, you know, or something like that, they they're, they're quote unquote, an authority in the area where you've lived it. So you're, you're coming from a different angle, which is kind of interesting. Like I said, it'll be, it'll be an interesting little concept, you know, and, you know, it could be one of those things where it'll,
00:15:21
Speaker
it might take off where you would bring in an expert occasionally, you know, or, or they give their two cents, you know, in the chat or whatnot. So it'd be kind of interesting, kind of interesting to see where it'll go. But on a lighter note, I have a sports news story for you, sir. I know you're a big fan of the foosball.
00:15:51
Speaker
Um, did you hear about this kid? I say kid, he's like, I don't know, 25, 30. Uh, he was, let's say he was bound to determine to, uh, that the bills would win the Superbowl. So he wouldn't got himself a tattoo. That was the outline of the bills logo and Superbowl winners and whatever years this one is.
00:16:19
Speaker
And there's video of him crying at the Bulls. After the Bulls got beat and I just found it funny. That's a lot to throw on to a. I feel like he kind of cursed it by getting a tattoo. Well, there's a story of some jackass who does this every season. Yeah, but.
00:16:47
Speaker
My question to you on this same subject, if you got, I hate to, I shudder to say it, but no, uh, if you thought the Browns were going to win, you wouldn't get the tattoo. No, I won't even get a Browns tattoo on my body period or reds or calves or a Michigan tattoo. Right. And that's my thing. It's like when people put their sports teams, uh, dumb tattoos, I, I, I 100% agree.
Sports Fan Tattoos & Regrets
00:17:14
Speaker
I get the passion. You don't see me putting a Chevy logo on my body. I don't understand. We both have tattoos. We know a bunch of people have tattoos. I get the concept of tattoo more than most. But I could see getting the Bulls tattoo, if they did win the Super Bowl,
00:17:44
Speaker
and be like, yeah, fucking champs, you know, or if you're fucking on the team. Yeah. You know, or like even if you're the fucking water boy, but as as a fan, dude, you you. You have no and I don't want to say right, but you have no right to say like, I give you shit when you're talking about we won fucking championship. No, you didn't. They did.
00:18:11
Speaker
Yeah, that was out of extinction because I normally say that, you know, and I'm not talking about weird sexuality or your gender preferences. It is funny. I'm literally talking about they and or them being right. The team or the universe. But this is the kind of guy that got this tattoo that he's like, we want. No, you didn't. Your team won. The team you like won.
00:18:39
Speaker
I can't you can't even say your team because you don't own said team You you the only affiliation you have with that team is you like that team. That's it so now I get it if like I said if you were You know if you were the fucking trainers assistant, okay get the tattoo but like for example
00:19:06
Speaker
Let's say the podcast goes Joe Rogan experience and we get a contract worth more money than we could ever know what to do with. Would you get the nonsensical nonsense tattoo?
00:19:21
Speaker
I would probably get, and you know, nothing against the guys who get their teams tattooed on them, whatever, you know, that's, that's just not for me. I think it's, I think it's tack. I think it's tacky. I think it's, you know, me personally, I love my team. I agree. Dushi is the perfect word. I mean, you know how much I love my damn teams, you know? Yeah. Um, but I don't have to have a tattoo on my body. Now, have I thought about getting a nonsense? I've already thought about getting a nonsense. I already got the design.
00:19:51
Speaker
One of the logos that I made probably or something like that or one of the logos we use for the show, I'm not going to do something completely unnecessary and off-script because I want to get it to represent the show. So it would be something that represented the show. And once again,
00:20:11
Speaker
And that's fine, but you wouldn't go get, and I know you're not a fan, but this is just because he's the most famous. You wouldn't go get Joe Rogan's fucking show tattoo, you know, because you were a fan and I know you're not, but I'm using him as an example. You know, like, well, you like Mike Calta. You wouldn't go get a Mike Calta tattoo. So that's the equivalent of getting this sports team tattoo. You watch, you occasionally go to games. You're not on the field. Calm down.
00:20:42
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not going to go get a damn. I can understand betting on the team. I can understand, you know, watching the team getting excited. I get it. But getting a tattoo and early dudes like what? Three weeks early? Well, I have an answer. Is Dan and Bruce and John Martin the same people? Yes. Who? Yeah, it just changed his name. Oh, OK.
00:21:16
Speaker
I don't I I just I mean to those who do it to eat your own at the end of the day, but it's not my it's not my It's not my jam, baby Yeah, yeah, it's not my jam either. I don't buy Jim my honey Yes, it's uh, I don't you know unless I'm 100% a part of something I
00:21:42
Speaker
Like, you know, if I was, you know, in, I don't know, you know, if I was in a, you know, if I was sponsored by something, you know, if I was sponsored by Chevrolet and they're like, get a tattoo, done. I'm in. How much do I get? I'll take it. But being just a spectator,
00:22:10
Speaker
and having no say of what happens on whatever thing I'm getting, I'm out. I'm out. I don't, like I wouldn't even get like a Coca-Cola logo and all I drink is Coke. Bobby Lashley's here. I didn't know Bobby Lashley was here when he watched the show. I get nonsensical nonsense tattoo on my ass and it's going to be spread cheeks.
Comedic Banter on Fan Behaviors
00:22:40
Speaker
Yeah, I'm sure it's been fucking around with you. It's a target where he wants it. Yeah, exactly. If you were like on the... Yeah, exactly. The other thing. Unless you're the owner. Yeah, unless you were like one of these guys that spent your whole career there.
00:23:02
Speaker
Like Jason Kelsey, now that he's retired, if he runs out and gets an Eagles, and he gets an Eagles tattoo, okay, I get it. Or, you know, something like that, you know, guys should have spent their entire career with one team, you know, but. Even then, but to them, that's like getting, you know, that's like getting a tattoo of your job.
00:23:32
Speaker
It's like, I work at 7 11. Oh yeah. You know, I mean, I just don't, I don't, the, and the fact that dude got it, he would have been fine if he would just got the Bulls logo, but he actually put Superbowl champions, whatever this year's is. And I was like, dude,
00:24:01
Speaker
You want to talk about Jenks in yourself. Yeah. It's I don't know. There's a story every year. Somebody's like, Oh, my team is going to win the Super Bowl. I'm going to go get a tattoo. It's like the Super Bowl is six months away. Dumbass. Well, the good thing about this guy is he didn't get it colored in. It's literally just the outline. It's a fine line. It's, it's nothing bold and you know, blown up. He could easily get it covered up. I get it.
00:24:31
Speaker
And I'm sure if they would have won, he would have just been shouting it from the rooftop saying, I say, I predicted the future. Yeah. But I'm also, you know, I, you know, I'm like some people in this podcast. I'm not the guy who's just going to go willy nilly, put whatever on my body. Can I say this because I've seen your tattoos and all my tattoos have meaning.
00:25:00
Speaker
Yeah, it means you're a douche outside of your memorial tattoos for your family. Well, which is every tattoo I have. Oh, 47 Superman tattoos. Why? Because I'm a douchebag. Yeah. One is sufficient. You're like Superman. It was going to be a whole theme and then I grew up
00:25:23
Speaker
But Jeff, Jeff, Jeff does have a tramp stamp. It's actually my last name, right across his lower back. It's just a hand print. That's where I usually put my hand at. And then it says property of Glick.
00:25:39
Speaker
Talk about awkward every time his wife sees it when she begs him. I tell you, she's always going, who the fuck is Glee? Now she's like, this is why she doesn't like you. So we figured out the mystery. I do have another story, and this one just speaking of mysteries. There's a there's a Mandela effect.
00:26:09
Speaker
Supposedly, and I don't believe it because I don't remember the difference. Going about about Scooby Doo. No, that's the newest one. That's the newest one he just had. That's the one I have to get. Yeah. On his ass cheek, it says the champ was here. Looks like Gilroy. Gilroy with a beard.
00:26:38
Speaker
No, but so this new Mandela effect that's been floating around and there's actually two parts of the story. First is there's people claiming that there was a sixth member of Scooby-Doo besides Shaggy. Or not Shaggy, besides Scrappy. Yeah.
00:27:00
Speaker
Exactly. I don't even know if you really consider Scrappy a member of this. I don't think he was. I mean, he was there for a couple episodes. Fred and Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scoop. That was the gang. That was it. All five of those. Scrappy got his first spin-off show. They introduced other members of the Duke family. Well, no, but the theory is that there was a sixth member that was in every episode that's been erased from history.
00:27:33
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, I don't buy it. But there is a woman. There is a woman. This is genius. So you you know, the brand for the loom. Yeah. OK, well, the the Mandela effect is that it used to have, you know, it has the fruit and it used to. The Mandela effect is that used to have a cornucopia behind it.
00:28:02
Speaker
Yeah, never did. And it supposedly never did. I do remember the cornucopia. But what this woman has done, and she's done it with other products as well, including Monopoly, where she's made shirts that says, through the loom, with the logo, with the cornucopia. So it's not a breach of
00:28:30
Speaker
It's not copyright infringement. It's not copyright infringement. And she's like, if they send a cease and desist that it's copyright infringement with the cornucopia, it proves that it did have it. And she's doing it with Monopoly as well, the monocle on the Monopoly guy. She's doing it with like four or five different products. So, you know,
00:28:52
Speaker
Shazam with Sinbad is not a Mandela effect. That really happens. Sinbad has openly admitted to spending millions of dollars on trying to erase that movie from history. But what does that have to do with Scooby? Well, I was talking about Mandela effects, but the whole Scooby-Doo thing is, I watched this thing on TikTok, this lady sitting there, and she's showing a picture of the Scooby-Doo gang.
00:29:20
Speaker
And they're like, she's like, after reading this article, I'm staring at these guys and I'm thinking, maybe I did forget another character. And my only thought was, the pose that they were doing, the only thing that's missing from the picture is the mystery machine behind them. Because it literally looks like they're almost like standing in front of the mystery machine. And I think that's what it is, is that you're like, yeah, the mystery machine is not in the picture. That's what you're used to seeing.
00:29:48
Speaker
But there's this whole theory floating around that there is a sixth member of Scooby-Doo gang, because everybody has a pair except for Velma. You know, Fred and Daffy hang out, Shaggy and Scoob hang out. Who the fuck Velma hang out with? She's hanging out on the... She's a third wheeled. She's a bookworm. So, you know, she's got a book. And her magnified glass. And her glasses. She's got plenty to hang out with. I bet you've always lost your mind.
00:30:19
Speaker
You're too busy getting the train, right? Right in honor from Shag and Scoop. She was into that mentality. Weird shit. Yeah. Have you seen have you seen the Scooby Doo video? That's not the real Scooby Doo. You know, Jeff. It's an interesting concept. No dog. Not a Mandela effect. And his name is Michael, not Michelle. His name is Michael. Let's be honest.
00:30:46
Speaker
Joan Rivers died for that truth. That might've been the six, the six member of the gang. Go ahead. You, you, you say all the time, how busy you are and how much you work and how exhausted you are. You spend an awful lot of time on Tik TOK.
00:31:16
Speaker
I usually do it right around one to two o'clock in the morning. Because here's the problem. I get done with work. We know that. This is not the Kevin Holly show. Yeah, we don't we don't we don't make lame jokes from 20 years ago. What are you doing, dude? You know better than Kevin Holly show have seen did kill himself to nobody else's work.
00:31:39
Speaker
obviously. Wait, hold on. If you wait long enough, when you. Is this actually Kevin Hawley in disguise of Hoss? And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for us. Damn kids.
00:32:12
Speaker
Well, technically if you murder somebody, it's just a late term abortion. So yeah, abortion is, I mean, welcome to Ohio. You can get high and kill babies. Yes. Population control. So this same difference, your body, your choice, I guess.
00:32:32
Speaker
No, but like after work, I usually I go upstairs and, you know, especially like Monday, I was exhausted. I passed out, woke up four hours later. And then, of course, when it's time to go to bed, I'm why the fuck awake? Nothing to do. And I start scrolling. I see all these weird, stupid stories. But I found it. I fell into a new wormhole on Spotify.
00:32:59
Speaker
Uh, have you looked up the mashup songs?
Music Mashups & Creative Entertainment
00:33:04
Speaker
Well, they take two songs, but like they did that Kenny Rogers and, and, uh, what's that, what's that, uh, little, little mama or whatever it is. Yeah. I found a whole bunch of songs like that that I'm just digging on. This is so good. And I'm just like, you know what? I'm not mad at this and then I'll jam out to it for like 20 minutes. Do you, uh, did you hear the one where the country guy did the, uh,
00:33:30
Speaker
uh rap like he did rap covers but in all country yeah i saw those well i sent you i sent you that uh that one the m&m did you see that video it's m&m from eight mile and he he's getting ready to start singing contact joe and i started laughing i was like shit lines up son
00:34:04
Speaker
I don't know. Sometimes like I'm confused. Let's let's let's not go down that road. I came up with a catchy little tune. Yes. What are you talking about? I'm so confused right now. I know.
00:34:28
Speaker
But yeah, I found on this wormhole and I got I got like it's a it rains down in Africa and another one bites the dust and it fucking it slaps dude. I love it. I didn't think it would match up, but man, they they've meshed pretty good. Transformer song styles area. Yeah, the transformer, transformer song transvestites gay guys in disguise.
00:34:59
Speaker
that the house is into. So, I understand why he keeps talking about transvestite. They're not transvestites. They're transgender, dude. Yeah. Holy cow. It's 2024. You can't use that word. You're not Tim Curry in uh **** Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
00:35:29
Speaker
Okay. I'm going to tell you right now. Nobody, nobody, because nothing that you're going to say or do other than just being absolutely derogatory and disgusting. Like we had the conversation about Monday is going to offend anybody because anything you say or think you're going to do, we've already done on this show and we've already, I was going to say, you're playing a second fiddle here, sir.
00:35:55
Speaker
Trust me, we've been all of our basis. And for those who we haven't offended, don't wait, we're coming to you. You're next. Yeah, there's no door that we haven't kicked in yet.
00:36:18
Speaker
You know, I was thinking about that the other day and I don't think we have, I mean, there's no topic. First time listener. First time chatter. First time listener. First time chatter. First timer. There's a couple of other people there. Usually can't see you because they're on other platforms. Talking about us.
00:36:46
Speaker
You know, you know, I, here's the thing, the, the beauty. We hate nonsensical nonsense so much, but we're going to sit here and listen for the entire three hour show. You know what? I take that as a badge of honor. I appreciate it. You know, Joe Rogan doesn't have that. You know, you keep talking about Joe Rogan tonight. Did you hear he had Bobby Lee on the show the other day? No. What'd he do? Bobby Lee's got a new movie coming out, I guess.
00:37:13
Speaker
And Joe Rogan and Bobby Lee have been friends for years. Bobby Lee cracks me up. And I guess Joe Rogan went on this fucking 20 plus minute tirade about COVID and lockdowns and restrictions and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, conspiracies, this, that, and the other thing. And finally Bobby Lee was like, can we please just talk about my movie like I came here for?
00:37:47
Speaker
Well, Bobby Lee's got that podcast with that red. It was a bloody mess. Yeah. That's a strange podcast. Oh my God. It cracks me up. Cause all they do is make fun of each other. Yeah.
00:38:02
Speaker
as I love when the Reddit dude starts trying to do an Asian accent. I was like, don't fucking do it. God damn it. It's fucking hilarious. I catch clips of it on Facebook and I'm just like, oh, here we go. They played that video, that woman singing that that ninja song. That's like even I'm offended by it because I was like, damn, she went for it.
00:38:30
Speaker
She's like, I wish I could be a ninja. And I'm like, holy shit. It's how she got canceled. And it was obviously the videos from like 95 or some shit like that, or maybe 2000. But I was just like, holy shit. Let's try that now. That is a downright lie. Nobody wears the belt except me. Belt stays on during six.
00:39:02
Speaker
I like the way it clangs against her belly button ring. Are you done entertaining yourself over there? Yeah, that's just, Bobby Lee is such a weird, a weird character as it is, like,
00:39:28
Speaker
just in life in general with that other guy. It's how popular it is. We don't even know who they are. Yeah. I don't know. I just, I just know who Bobby Lee is, but you know who I'd like to put on a podcast together is Bobby Lee and, and Joey Diaz deal with it. Do you liked it? Uh, I think it doesn't stop together. Yeah. But like, like a weekly show. Yeah.
00:39:55
Speaker
Because I like to think, you know, as much as I love Joey Diaz, I think that after a while he would get annoying. I think the thing that drives me crazy is he's just that stereotypical Italian New Yorker dude. It's like we get it. All right. You're not in the mob, bro. You're not a fucking tough guy. You're not a fucking wise guy. It's just a drug addict. Yeah.
00:40:22
Speaker
I like Joey Diaz and he's funny but in very small small doses because I agreed and and Joe Joe Rogan actually said on he says, you know, most of the stuff Bob, you know, he says you don't know if it's real or not but it's a good story. Yes, Bobby Lee is very Asian. Yeah, Bobby Lee's a comedian. He was on he was on mad TV for a long time. He's been on some other movies and done some other TV shows. He's been around for
00:41:03
Speaker
He's 51. I believe it. I dude, I thought he was in his maybe 40s. Holy **** I I I literally just looked it up because so I could show a picture.
00:41:21
Speaker
Holy shit, I didn't think he was that old Wow, this
Podcast Industry Insights
00:41:37
Speaker
is Bobby Lee Fucking dim sum. Oh my god. He's so funny He he he
00:41:50
Speaker
It's called the Jelly Bean String Podcast. Wait, maybe that's not it. Well, that's one of the birdcast one. I don't know. He was in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Mad TV was in the director's in Pineapple Express Borderlands. Magnum PI TV show. The new one. The wrong Missy.
00:42:21
Speaker
he's funny he cracks me up but also in kind of small doses the other guy that joe rogan the other asian guy that joe rogan has on every once in a while half his face is tattooed red you see in that video dude's apparently you know stupid rich and he's trekked through the amazon and shit like that and
00:42:51
Speaker
That guy's, I can't remember his name, but he's done a couple episodes on Joe Rogan. The dude's fascinating and wicked smart. Like, you know how when you, he has a pool, his pool is filled with like avian or some shit like that. It's not chlorine in the water. Like the bottled water,
00:43:20
Speaker
Well, yeah, but it's a different kind of pool water that doesn't use chlorine that the rich are starting to use. So, turn. I couldn't tell you. I never even heard anything about that or anything like that. But it just sounds like a rich person thing to do. Like, I would have special water for my pool. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's...
00:43:47
Speaker
uh it is oh okay so it's like it's um it's like salt water as opposed to so it's like seawater but filtered but it's it's it's um it's like man-made as opposed to you know going to the sea and grabbing a bunch of water put in your pool but it's it's supposed to be better for you than than chlorine it basically makes sure you know you don't have to
00:44:18
Speaker
You just need to skim your pool. And it runs through a filter system that keeps it saltwater. A, it helps you float better. It's better for your body. All this other stuff. But it's a modern fix to actually having the chemicals of chlorine and shit in your pool. But it's like, it's... I can't even pronounce it. B-I-G-U-A-N-I-D-E.
00:44:49
Speaker
is the name, is the word for the kind of water that they use. Here, I'm putting it in the chat so you can actually read it. Yeah, I have no idea. There it is. That's the kind of water they're using. That you would aid? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but yeah, like him and his buddies were like, his rich buddies were the first people to do that, this guy.
00:45:16
Speaker
And I, the first time I heard of it, I was like, what? And then of course I looked it up and I was like, holy shit. It's a thing. It sounds fucking made up, but to be honest with you, it does. Cause I was like, but it's also one of those things that rich people do. Like I swim in avial and bitch, it's water. You know, we grew up swimming. It's either tap water, salt water, or it's cold water or chlorine in it, but it's still. Yeah.
00:45:45
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. You can swim in it, right? Yeah. OK. You know, you want to impress me, you know, fill your pool of milk or something. Or or in Chris's case, fill it with beer so I can drink it while I swim. Yeah, telling me a press. This is going to stay chilled, though, man. I can't, you know, I'm not. Well, you got heated pools. I'm not some fucking British douche canoe that drinks my shit warm.
00:46:14
Speaker
Just fill your pool with Guinness. I'll never get in it. I'll set that bitch on fire. Yeah. Guinness is so disgusting beer. I'm sorry. Yeah. I got a bunch of free bottles of Guinness. It was disgusting. It's like motor oil. Yeah. It looks like really bad. I don't like those
00:46:49
Speaker
I'm out. Not only are they gross but then they set heavy in your stomach and it's just it's not an enjoyable experience and those of you who drink it are just pretentious douche bags. They think you're cool or you're from the area. Even the people from the area don't drink it unless they're pretentious douche bags.
00:47:17
Speaker
I made that because I have talent. You should ask to see his other flag. I can't reach it. I'd have to actually get up. Yeah, exactly. Nothing like drinking a loaf of. Yeah, I wonder if you put Guinness in a pan, put it in the oven. It just comes out of loaf. It's like there you go. I mean, I make Guinness bread. Yeah, Guinness bread.
00:47:46
Speaker
That would probably actually be more tasty. I was gonna say probably throw some jelly on it or or some honey because we don't buy jam. Throw some honey on it and like this is really like a good get a little buzz like a rum cake but with Guinness.
00:48:06
Speaker
Well, I don't know. That's just a gross beer. Nobody drinks it. Nobody actually likes fucking Guinness. I think it's definitely an acquired taste. It's like the guys that drink nothing. But but, you know, they wake up and and. Like they work in the brewery, so they get it for free. They're like, well, I guess I'll drink it because it's free. Yeah, I'm not drinking their dad and their his dad drank it and they just don't know any better.
00:48:36
Speaker
They've never had a good beer. I don't know. I don't feel my pool with Jack Daniels. That way I can keep my kids out of the pool. Wouldn't that absorb into your skin? Like just going for a swim would get you drunk? Probably. Yeah, it definitely would. Totally worth it.
00:49:06
Speaker
fully worth. Yeah, we have to be like. Well, you ever seen that show? It's like it was a thousand ways to die. Listen, yeah. It's like I say, Fentanyl, even if you like have a dollar that has Fentanyl on it, you touch it, it gets into your skin. Yeah, you'll get like a mile high from that.
00:49:37
Speaker
No, but like there were on that 1000 ways to die. The one guy he was he was a germaphobe and, and like, his gutter broke. And his gutter all the crap that was in his gutter landed on him. So he jumped in a in the bathtub, and poured, you know, isopropyl alcohol in it and bathed in it and he died from it. Sure.
00:50:06
Speaker
Well, I mean, Anthrax was proving that you could get into your pores and the **** like it. Jeff has an American flag behind him because he made it. It's like something like it's made out of wood. It was actually made for his weird cousin who's in some goofy ass militia in Ohio. Yeah, I mean, he's from Ohio. Let's be honest. It's like for the course. So, like, it's not even a real militia again. They're from **** Ohio.
00:50:31
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's just a bunch of fucking weirdos that like to go touch each other in the woods. Well, no, they go out to Mount Vernon Square on the weekend and lay their their guns on the hood and just sit there. That what is that to to cake to cotty beer? Is that what you guys have down there? Is that what is that what? I got a I got a is is
00:51:01
Speaker
Ticate is actually not terrible. It's almost like a Miller Lite. He said pre-rehabited. That's actually not terrible. I really hope it wasn't post-rehab days, Tim. That is the purpose. No, ticate is... I've never had it. It's like Mexico's version of Miller Lite.
00:51:26
Speaker
I think you'd like it. It's not too, it's not gross. It's not amazing. It's just right there in the middle, you know? American beer American beer cost more here. Well, yeah, because imported. Exactly. Who like Mexican beers more expensive here? Well, yeah, yeah. They still give it away for free because it's dog shit. Most of it. Mexican piss water. They still can't. I don't know. I like that though. Thank you.
00:51:57
Speaker
It looks like he's good. What was it that Jarvis called it? I don't know. I can't remember. Water down the hill. Yeah, I just they give away Mexican beer up here in the States because nobody wants to pay for it. They practically pay us if we want to drink it. Well, when Bud Light did their fuck up.
00:52:22
Speaker
The number one selling beer in the U.S. for the first time ever was Modelo, which is a Mexican beer. But I blame that on the fact that, you know, so many immigrants are crossing the border illegally. They're just bringing beer or buying a bunch of beer. Let's be honest.
00:52:38
Speaker
We got ourselves a little bit of an illegal immigrant problem here in the state. A little bit. Jesus. I know you know it. I know you did it backwards and stuck across the border going the opposite direction and everybody at the border was like, is that American trying to sneak in? Let him go. He's an idiot. All I know is every day that more people cross the streets get less and less crowded here.
00:53:07
Speaker
I'll wait until we start catapulting them back across. I'll be gone by then. We're in the process of building catapults as we speak. Many old catapults, like in your movies you like. We're just going to start catapulting them back across. Well, fucking Texas is not fucking around, boy. They're basically that movie Civil War that's supposed to be coming out.
00:53:36
Speaker
That might be true soon. Because they're basically in a standoff with the US government saying, fuck you. You didn't do anything about it. We will. Trump said to hold the wall. We're building catapults. They're in the primaries right now. I'm hoping to land that contract. I'll make billions.
Satire & Mythical Debates
00:54:00
Speaker
Oh, 100%.
00:54:02
Speaker
A government contract is literally just, it's like just buy a printing press now. Yeah. Let's just go line them all around our Southern borders and Canada, just because it'd be fun to shoot Mexicans into Canada. They'd apologize as they fly.
00:54:23
Speaker
Well, they say you like the cold homes. Good luck in Canada, bitch. Have you seen that? Have you seen that guy? It's like an African dude. He's he's he's he's got a bag. He's walking through the snow and they're like, dude, where are you going? He's like, this is American Dream. Shit is bullshit. It's fucking freezing here. I'm going back to Africa. Yeah, that's what you signed up for. Sorry.
00:54:53
Speaker
I just think that'd be great. Not only would it be one hell of a way to, you know, immigrants, but yeah, be entertaining as fuck. Just watching. Oh, you give him a little parachute, you know, a little swimming pool gland in. Nope. Nope. No parachute. No pools. Just shooting them.
00:55:17
Speaker
there's a horde of them trying to cross that we can try to aim and then they'll be like little Mexican projectiles that we try to take out there. Light is back back on fire bud. It's a tracer round. We're pushing the catapults.
00:55:52
Speaker
Just a bunch of rednecks going, red rover, red rover. Nevermind.
00:56:19
Speaker
I've always wanted to build a trebuchet. But I have no clue how. Like, I'm sure I can probably find a way out like from memory. I can do it. Well, yeah. But there's because they have that every year. There's a it's called the pumpkin toss.
00:56:39
Speaker
I can't remember what happened, but they literally use trebuchets and they chuck pumpkins. That would be fun. I want to punch you in the head right now. Almost. Well, when I was. Call it a catapult. Stop it. It's a different kind of a catapult. It's a slingshot. It's a giant slingshot. No, it's not. Trebuchet has a sling. A catapult goes up. There's two different types.
00:57:09
Speaker
A trivia is a giant slingshot. You're just mad because you can't say it. I'm trying to church shit up. You're not. It doesn't make you. When I was. When I was a kid, we got an asshole that says debras. What? Debras instead of debris. No, I say debris. I've never, I've never heard debras. That's a fucking douche thing. That's a douche thing. No, but.
00:57:39
Speaker
When I was a kid, we had that we had that science class when we were in school, where we had to launch a an egg. And I brought in that that water balloon launcher that took three people to control. Oh, yeah. And we actually took that idea. My cousins, I took that idea to the roof of their house and started launching eggs. Yeah, we got in trouble.
00:58:08
Speaker
I used this hand cannon right here. I threw it. There's a reason why we lost one. I threw it. My science teacher said, you're supposed to use a launching device. And I said, I did. You didn't specify and say I had to build one. However, this is a launching device. Exactly. I got an A. I got an A.
00:58:37
Speaker
we actually we actually won for the our entire right you caught that too that's why i called him a percent pretentious douche fucking prick i'm glad somebody else got that it wasn't just
00:59:08
Speaker
A traverture. Darling, fetch me my traverture, please. I have to launch these Mexicans off of very long. Yeah. You're fucking the millionaire from fucking Gilligan's Island all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah, there's a difference.
00:59:38
Speaker
So there's a difference. I'm not disagreeing with you that there's a difference between a giant slingshot and a catapult. Yeah. Well, the trebuchet is not a slingshot. This is a trebuchet. Loading. That looks like a type of slingshot to me. No.
01:00:00
Speaker
It's essentially. I understand. I didn't say I'm not disagreeing with you that it's not a catapult. I know the difference. I'm just telling you that that's a giant slingshot. That's a, that's a, like a, like a machine version of the slingshot that David used to crack the Goliath. It's a slingshot. Yeah.
01:00:28
Speaker
It's a mechanic. That's a mechanic. A mechanic. It's it's it's a fucking mechanical slingshot, bro. It's a fucking slingshot. I'm not saying like a slingshot like the one that you hold me a pullback. Yeah, it's not it's not it's not Dennis the Menace style. Yeah, but that's like a mechanical little Davey and the little weird dog slingshot.
01:01:01
Speaker
I'm just saying. I want to build one for my front yard. If you build one, just put your fucking self in it. Well, there is that video that that people are claiming to be true, but it's one where they they shoot dude out of out of a giant slingshot. It's literally just to
01:01:26
Speaker
like bungees and he goes across like a field that's got to be 200 yards and it lands in a kiddie pool. Have you seen that video? 100% real. Oh yeah. 100%. Sure. Like this is also covered the guy who was like, did you see the video about the giants in Seattle Glick? Can you believe? No, no, no, no. I do not believe this is real, but there was a, I believe the giants in Seattle were real, but you don't believe it. I didn't believe it.
01:01:54
Speaker
I said why why you shouldn't believe I said it's possible you don't know it's possible that they could have shot the only Bigfoot I've ever saw as you so you know well I mean that's still a proof of proof of existence you are my size let's be on baby yeah see the Giants are real you're just my size to them no the Giants are not real yeah
01:02:23
Speaker
There's nothing to you what you are to a judge. No such thing as 20 foot human. He's just walking around the mountains or the forest of Seattle. They would have been they would have been seen long ago. Where's your definitive proof? Where's your definitive proof that they're real? Humanoids going to stick out like a sore thumb. I'm going to Seattle. I'm gonna go find them.
01:02:50
Speaker
It's not going to die on this hill. Just get some. I don't know if they do exist. I'm real. I hope they are real and like jagged the beanstalk. He five, four, five. I smell the blood of a garden gnome and he fucking eats you. Well, it's like it's it's kind of like Loch Ness. Just remember, when you're recording and you see him, you don't flip your camera back around the point. Yeah, no shit. Oh, my God. That thing is. That's insane. I flip my camera. Motherfucker.
01:03:21
Speaker
Yeah, it's not that hard. That's that's the one part of the video I was like, really, dude? Because if I'm holding my phone, and something scares me, I'm not going to stand there and hold I'm gonna go. I'm gonna drop my phone. Or holy shit. You took the time and energy to flip your camera around when you've seen it. Like, yeah, why did you just leave your camera alone?
01:03:45
Speaker
or just start running. Well, I think what what the concept was, he turned his phone on and he's still facing him and he forgot to switch it over. But all right. Well, yes. Giant 20 foot human was in Seattle. If you're real, I challenge you. I bet I could beat you in a fight. Oh, that I love. I love the.
01:04:09
Speaker
I want to see that. They just kick you and you go flying across the room. It gets them to come out of hiding. Then it's worth it. Then I can prove either a Jeff, you are right. They're real or be well, Jeff, I've called them out and they're not coming. They're not answering my challenge. So they're fake. I win you lose. I'm still the champ.
01:04:37
Speaker
or we find out that the 20-foot giants are actually giant pussies and I take one out. They're like the old cartoon where the elephant sees the mouse.
01:04:51
Speaker
I appreciate your boost of confidence. I got 20. I click. He is the champ. Thank you. So when I build my, that's how I beat the giant, I wave my, I pull hold my belt up and I scream out the champ and he's like, the sun hits it reflects hits him in the eyes. He stumbles backwards on the side of a mountain splits it open like a watermelon. I go stand on top of him and declare myself. They're still reigning champion of the world.
01:05:20
Speaker
The giant slayer. I am now the giant slayer intergalactic king champion. I keep adding titles to my champ title. I've done so much as a champ.
01:05:46
Speaker
What have you fucking done with your line, champ? You're not the champ. You're not the champion. You're not the champion. If you defeat a giant, I will I will finally just start announcing you as champ every time.
01:06:03
Speaker
but only if you defeated giant in that way. Exactly. Like the sun's behind me. Can we turn around? Just right blind, see me stumbles. It's a fucking side of a mountain like a watermelon hitting the ground.
01:06:22
Speaker
Game over, I win. Suck it, Joe Rogan. Suck my dick and eat my asshole, you sons of bitches. What, baby? Nicky goes, wow, from the bathroom.
01:06:44
Speaker
And we still get the podcast, Tim. Yeah. Just enough time to start the show. Tim was disappointed we didn't get to suck my dick and eat my asshole podcast because Cleveland Browns didn't win the Super Bowl. I defeated Giant, we get the podcast back. Oh, 100%, yes.
01:07:08
Speaker
Wow. What are we talking about today here on this podcast? Well, you say something. I tell you you're wrong and I tell you to suck my dick and eat my ass off. I would just befriend the giant so I can conquer the world. That's what I do with you.
01:07:32
Speaker
You're not conquering anything when the giant slayers alive. No, it worked with you. I'm just saying, you know, well, stick to my fucking strengths. Jeff talking like I'll be your friend.
01:07:53
Speaker
I'll stand on his shoulders like fucking rocket on on Groot. That guy's talking shit about you, dude. Get it. He just starts flicking people. Never fear of people. This is very boring. Never fear, tiny humans. The giant slayer will save you.
01:08:19
Speaker
Jeff's like, I got to figure out how to make giant sunglasses. So Glick will stop killing my friends. Yeah. You fucking tinted windows out of a car. Put these on your face! That's all right. Then we just turn the catapults and I start shooting Mexicans at them. There you go.
01:08:42
Speaker
It's just flaming Mexican. I just take two pieces of fucking suburban windshields and surround them with railroad ties. Like here, I can't lift these. You're going to have to put them on yourself. Yeah, I can't manufacture these. Here's the blueprints. You know what to do. I make one a month.
01:09:13
Speaker
How are you guys paying me for this? He just drops his glasses on you. Yeah. Yeah. That's how he does it, too. Yeah. I fear no giants. I'm friends with the aliens. Yeah. I'm their champ. Aliens and the Giants team up. I just send a text to
01:09:42
Speaker
to my good buddy, Sir Pousois. Hey, a little back up down here. I'm just saying, instead of Ray bands, they're nonsensical nonsense bands. With four foot letters. It's just spray painted on the side. Usually spelled wrong because I made them. You spelled it wrong. Ah, fuck it. He can't read. It's okay.
01:10:12
Speaker
They're original. It's not sequential Ninsense. It's not sequential Ninsense. Fuck it. And there we go. They're original. They're signed. I care what I do for our clan tag on Call of Duty. It just says NSNS. There you go. Oh.
01:10:41
Speaker
very vivid imaginations. You know what? If if they ever started a think tank, they just they don't need one. They can just listen to the show.
Podcasting Tips & Zencastr Promotion
01:10:50
Speaker
Yeah. We are a think tank or we should not let people that are in power and have can have the ability to put us in padded rooms ever listen to the show because we're gonna be in the middle of the show and all of a sudden both of us gonna knock on our door and it's it's the nice friendly guys in the all white suits that put hug me jackets on us.
01:11:09
Speaker
yeah of course then we get to entertain the the asane asylum and then next thing you know we're running this asane asylum that would be an easy take over all easy i'd be their king you'd be their queen just annoy the piss out of them until they give up we can do our show live from the asylum asylum it'd be totally worth it
01:11:34
Speaker
Welcome to the nonsensical nonsense. A Salem show. Insane asylum show. Yes. Live from the padded room. Holy worth it. We don't even have microphones or cameras or anything. We're just side by side. We're separated from a by a wall. Just talking through our bars. So what'd you do today? Nothing. Me? Me neither. Did nothing either.
01:12:03
Speaker
They keep telling me I'm a chronic masturbator. I don't know what that means. All I know is my palms look like gloves. My hands never get cold.
01:12:20
Speaker
I can do it. You should see him. If I can fit him through the ball. Hey, let's calm down, Morgan Wallen. Oh, wait, oh, wait, oh, wait.
01:12:46
Speaker
I'm not. I fucking forget about it. Speaking of premature ejaculation. I fired too early. It happens to all guys. Yeah, it happens at least once in a while. It happens every week. It happens to all of us, God damn it. It doesn't make me want to fall in. Anyway. Nice.
01:13:17
Speaker
for the pattern room next door. Son of a bitch, it happened again. Totally worth it when it happened. Hashtag worth it. I'm hitting on all the nurse. Hey, nurse, scratch it. Come here. Let's be honest. Nurse Jeff. Nurse Steve.
01:13:36
Speaker
No, our luck will get Nurse Ratchet, you know, fucking from one flu of a go to that and she's gonna be like, please. Sounds like a battery, bitch. Come on. I do nine volts for fun. Day one, heavily sedated and electrotherapy for both of us. Can we do this together? Can we ride this ride together again? Wait, film it. We need to put it on the show. This will be
01:14:05
Speaker
go. This is better than my grabber. I can take a minute and try to say, you know, like, is that all you got? This is me. Please. I mainline Jack. This ain't shit.
01:14:25
Speaker
Me, they come in the room, I'm already drunk. That's the fire, I'm done. I just keep calling them bitch. Please bitch. Like we didn't even, what happened to it? I don't know, we walked in the room with this editing, we already drunk from it. He's just breaking back, bitch. Ain't nothing, bitch.
01:14:56
Speaker
Meanwhile, I'm just really, I'm like, oh, that was a. We're broadcasting today. What dogs are we testing? All right. Like, oh, what's his name from the A team? The, uh, uh, crazy. Well, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was
01:15:24
Speaker
Hannibal. Hannibal was the leader. Face was the good-looking guy. Murdoch was the pilot. Yeah, and then B.A. Brackett. And then B.A. Brackett drove the van. Yeah, that would totally be Murdoch in the inside. Dude, did you see the movie? I loved it. I thought it was hilarious when Murdoch's hanging on that fucking helicopter. You said me. You're like, what the fuck, dude?
01:15:55
Speaker
She's old, but I fix it. I keep seeing that scene pop up on TikTok and every time I see it, I'm like, I need to rewatch it. We were, we were out in PA. I can't remember if it was for Christmas. I think it might've been for Christmas. Maybe when we went out for New Year's Eve, I, uh, yeah, because everybody would go to bed and I have a hard time falling asleep without like TV on or whatever.
01:16:24
Speaker
So I would get my earbuds and just put something on my phone and put my earbuds in so I didn't bother everybody. I think I started watching that movie twice while we were there. Oh yeah. And I want to, I will eventually rewatch it and finish it because that's such a, that was, that was a movie that I was like, this is going to be absolute dog shit. It wasn't perfect. It was great. It was nostalgic and just the right way. Everybody played the part that they were
01:16:53
Speaker
They were cast perfectly. The only problem I had was there wasn't enough man. Because they crushed it. Let's be honest. The B.A. gets out of it when they break him out. He's like, I no longer resort to violence. I'm a peaceful man. He's got like the full beard and the. They get about the plane. I'll kill you.
01:17:25
Speaker
Let's take a quick break. I wish I had a plan come together. That was like like a good like crazy song. I don't know if I have one anymore. I used to. Uh uh anyways, we're gonna take a real quick break before we go to break.
01:17:51
Speaker
A little PSA for our fellow podcasters and or streamers or if you're thinking about getting into podcasting, check out Zincaster.com. That's what we use for all of our podcasting needs. A, it's super easy. You literally just go to Zincaster, create an account, log in, and you can start recording.
01:18:18
Speaker
right then and there, bada-bing, bada-boom. You can start recording a high quality podcast right away. You're gonna get studio quality sound. And if you choose to pre-record a video, you're gonna get up to 4K video with your guests. Not only that, but there's a Zincaster has multi-layered backups. So they're always gonna make sure your recordings are in the highest quality. Even if your connection is unstable, which as you guys know, and anybody else out there sometimes,
01:18:48
Speaker
when you're trying to stream or record a show or whatever the case may be. Sometimes your internet likes to have other plans for you, but wait, there's more. You're also going to, um, Sin Caster's post-production process. It's going to make you sound buttery smooth.
01:19:12
Speaker
Uh, it automatically removes the ums and ahs in your recordings. It removes those awkward pauses and conversation as well. And it sets the right loudness and levels while reducing background noise. We all have distractions going on in the background. We don't have professional grade studios. Most of us are doing these out of our houses or rooms or dining rooms or wherever, you know, wherever we may be. Awesome offices. Yeah. Or what Jeff just said.
01:19:41
Speaker
Um, so you're going to get the background noise, just normal day to day life background noises. So it'll help eliminate that. Not only that, but also I think a lot of people are afraid to start a podcast or get into the streaming world because they think they have to get all this crazy equipment and spend all this money and everything like that. Well, Zincaster is all in one podcasting platform. You can create your podcast all in one place and just, and this is a biggie for us. And, and as you get for you guys as well,
01:20:08
Speaker
They're going to distribute it to Spotify, Apple, and other major destinations. That's why you guys can literally listen to our show anywhere, anytime. It's because Zincaster puts it out there for us. It saves a little bit of work for me. It's super easy. Go to Zincaster.com slash pricing. Use our promo code. Words are hard. You're going to get 30% off of your first months of any Zincaster paid plan. It's going to give you 30 days to try it out. And it is free.
01:20:37
Speaker
but you get all the extras when you get the paid plan, you know, all the, all the bells and whistles, you know what I mean? So give it a try for 30 days. See what you think. I want you guys to have the same easy experiences we do for all of our podcasting and content needs. It's time to share your story, mother suckers. And with that being.
01:21:05
Speaker
I want a karate fight, Connor. Just so you know. Fair enough. Just putting that out there real quick for the world to hear. I don't have like a really good lunatic asylum type crazy song. However, I do have this song and I love this fucking song. It's Magnolia Park featuring platinum and Ethan Ross with.
01:21:35
Speaker
I can't keep this up with the animal inside I can't keep this up with the animal inside I can't keep this up with the animal inside
01:22:43
Speaker
Mirror mirror on the ceiling Any better so concealing Swear to god I'm gotta be incarnate I have a f**king demon Out of state and flat I'm feeling I'ma say goodbye
01:24:09
Speaker
What's the cost
01:24:44
Speaker
The animals!
01:25:14
Speaker
yeah i guess i was wrong did have a good craze or something um welcome back to nonsensical nonsense everybody he's Jeff i'm click got a little weird well things always get a little weird around here
01:25:40
Speaker
That was Maggolia Park featuring Platinum and Ethan Ross with their song Animos. Check them out on YouTube and all the social medias and stuff like that. Speaking of the social medias, check out our social media. We got Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. We also have YouTube, Facebook,
01:26:07
Speaker
That we go live on every Monday Wednesday and Saturday You guys enjoy this live jump in the chatters box shoot the shit hang out all that fun jazz And you can also listen to us any place any time Where we listen to podcast at all at nonsensical nonsense a podcast Give us fault give sheriff and be so kind and
01:26:35
Speaker
or you can also head over to bio.link slash nonsensical nonsense podcast.
Comedic Transformations & Car Mishaps
01:26:39
Speaker
Got all them links there, including the links to our sponsors. We'll make sure you use a promo code words are hard. Get them discounts when you check it out. Uh, anyways, we'll go back to the show. Connor, I want to fight you. I seriously want to cry. Great. He's a homie sexual. He's also a transsexual.
01:27:05
Speaker
I guess we should stop calling him he and saying he we should say her. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen breaking news. You guys know Connor from the show while Connor's taken a is now Connie. She has finally come out and taken a major
01:27:28
Speaker
Uh, life change and, and, and, and it's finally living her best life in the body that she was meant to be in. And as Jeff said, Connor will no longer be known as Connor. She is now known as Connie. Yeah. And we will, we will respect her wishes. We will support her as best we can on this show and her future endeavors. Endeavors still part of the show, but, uh, you know,
01:27:57
Speaker
Hey, we're we're an equal opportunity show. We're very diverse here. Now we have our first transgender. Who's our first? Well, yeah, we'll take a second. But I mean, as a full-fledged member of the show. Oh, OK. Understood. Not just a guest. Yeah. And let's be honest, when Nick's on here, he just stares at the screen. Nick and Cam are basically the same person when they're on the camera. They are.
01:28:27
Speaker
I think we both got to sit there weird. Backgrounds always do way too loud, and they just stare at the screen. So yeah. Very awkward. Well, I got a story for you, sir. And this is actually not necessarily breaking news, but this actually happened a couple of weeks ago. And the company that the reason why this happened has come out with a statement.
01:28:54
Speaker
So do you know what the Dodge Demon 170 is? Sounds like some kind of Dodge car. It is. This is the Dodge Demon 170. It is a, and let me get this right, a thousand horsepower car that you can buy from Dodge. Well, so a US service member, and they don't say which branch,
01:29:20
Speaker
Uh bought one, you know, there is a military discount dodge assuming since it's a dodge. He's probably in the game much like you Yeah, sure Anyways, so he ordered one because the only way you can get these dodge 170 is the demon 170 is to order them So he got him out of his hometown You know you go to the dealership to say hey, I want to dodge demon one seven because they're only making so many
01:29:48
Speaker
And so he went to his home dealership in Mississippi and he bought one, you know, obviously payment plan. It's not like he dropped cash because, you know, he's the military, so he doesn't get paid enough. And they said, OK, it's going to take X amount of time to get it. And during the time, while he's waiting on to be delivered, now he made arrangements for like his mom or his pops or whatever to pick it up because he got stationed in Iraq.
01:30:18
Speaker
The car came in and the rich prick came in and says, I want it. And the Dodge dealership, instead of saying, well, I'm sorry, that's reserved because it's already paid for, they sold it. Did they at least order the guy in the military a new one? At the time, no, they basically taught him you're fucked. Um,
01:30:43
Speaker
No, Dodge. Congratulations. You're fucked. And thank you for the brand new Dodge Demon for free. Well, here's the kicker. So this happened, like I said, a couple of weeks ago and the CEOs and heads of Dodge heard about this. So they called the dealership and they're like, what the fuck?
01:31:07
Speaker
And they said, well, the guy paid cash and paid for the whole thing. We don't care. This kid ordered it. It's his fucking car. So they recovered the car. And they're going to auction off said car. And the kid gets a jailbreak. Dodge Demon 170, which is 1,200 horsepower for free.
01:31:37
Speaker
So it's got an extra 200 horsepower. Well, considering your car has 200 horsepower, it's like adding your car to this car. Okay. And again, I don't, so all this kid's going to do with 1200 horsepower is kill himself. Pretty much. But because there's absolutely, okay. This is, that's cool. And Dodger's part, I guess. Yeah. It's the right thing. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Well, apparently everybody at that said dealership got fired.
01:32:04
Speaker
No, yeah, no normal person needs. And unless you're like a race car driver or a professional driver or whatever the case may be, no normal person needs a fucking 1200, a thousand or 1200 horsepower car horsepower car at no normal position needs a thousand horsepower car. It's unnecessary. Well, okay. And you're going to kill yourself or kill somebody else. Well, okay. And I understand that, but the reason why
01:32:34
Speaker
Yeah, go ahead. You got that much horsepower. You're, you're not going to, you're going to use it. Nobody is going to fight the urge to get on the freeway and slam it. They're not going to know how to drive or handle something like that. They're going to wreck it. They're going to kill somebody. They're going to kill themselves and kill a family, whatever. And then now dodge. Now you get to eat that too, because you gave this idiot kid.
01:32:58
Speaker
Fucking 1200 horsepower car for free. Well, here's the thing of 90% of the people buying these Dodge Demon 170 They're not driving them. This is like their 15th car. It's going in their collection It'll I don't get like 300 miles on it tops because I'm only building so many Well, they're you know, it's a payment plan it's just you know, you got to remember when you're in the military you get paid and
01:33:24
Speaker
You're on base. You don't have to pay rent. You don't pay for your food. You don't pay for your clothes. You have money to burn basically. So, and yes, it is a $96,000 car. I get it. But he's got, let's say four years where he doesn't really, as long as he doesn't go out and spend all his money on alcohol, he can make the payments.
01:33:52
Speaker
But it was unnecessary. It's one of these things. It's like the Dodge Demon 170. It's already banned from NHRA tracks. So you can't even take it to the track and race it. And it's one of those things where it's like... Exactly. You know, it's one of those things where most people buying these are buying them for the simple fact they're going to be worth 10 times what they're worth when you bought them.
01:34:19
Speaker
in 20 years because they're only making, I think they're only making like 300 of them. So, and I get it. I don't think, I think you should have to, in order to buy a thousand horsepower rear wheel drive car. And let's be honest with American car with that much horsepower is way too much horsepower for American car because they're, you know, a Bugatti has a thousand horsepower, but they're built for it.
01:34:48
Speaker
The Hellcats and stuff like that, they got way too much power. Now, unless you grew up on the track, your average Joe can't handle it. I doubt even I can handle it as much as a speed freak I am. Because, let's be honest, a thousand workpowers are ridiculous. But Dodge did right by the kid, I guess.
01:35:17
Speaker
So the the beauty of it is when this car that his original car gets auctioned off He gets to pick the charity that gets the the money Plus he gets his demon for free So win win for the kid Let's be honest. He gets a free Dodge Demon. I
01:35:42
Speaker
But I guess in about I would say in about six months after he gets the car, you'll be able to buy said car at Copar because he's going to total it. It won't. It doesn't take much. Yeah. I mean, you can see this is the advertisement for the car. The front tires are coming off the ground. That's way too much power.
01:36:10
Speaker
And, you know, if he's in the military, he's, he's under 40. You know, he's mentioned that he's a kid at 40 years old, you know, you not being a car guy, if I gave you a thousand horsepower car, you're going to die. Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to die or not, but I'm also going to have the fucking brain power to not.
01:36:36
Speaker
Right. In our 40s, we know better than to let's stomp on it from the line every time we leave. However, there's going to be that one time that you're like, I got this. It's just like anything. Once you get used to it, it's like guys with motorcycles. You know, when you buy a motorcycle, of course, you freak it out and you're super careful. Once you get used to it, you start doing dumber and dumber shit.
01:37:04
Speaker
Yeah. And then you wonder why you end up in a body cast. But yeah, apparently the. Everybody that was involved in selling it from that. That soldier. Was fired.
01:37:27
Speaker
So if you're in Mississippi, I'm sure there's a Dodge dealer hiring. Well, I was going to say if it was like a franchise, I don't know how car dealerships work. I don't know. Yeah. You buy a franchise. It's like a McDonald's. Yeah. I mean, they should take the franchise staying away from the owner. Well, I don't think the owner was involved. I think it was down to the salesman. You know, there's a reason why car salesmen are your epitome of creepy salespeople. Yeah. Because they see a buck. They're going to take it.
01:37:57
Speaker
So, and it was, you know, car salesmen do work on commission. So it's one of those things. It's like, I have a chance to get my commission in six months or get my commission tomorrow. Right. And 96 is the MSRP. That's before the markup. You know, right now, markups are retarded on cars, especially gasoline powered cars, electric cars.
01:38:27
Speaker
they're losing money on electric vehicles because they can't get rid of them. Nobody wants them. but you know shout out shout out to Dodge the company for making it right and **** that those guys that **** over that kid. I mean it's it's it's like
01:38:52
Speaker
I get it. The reason why they they sold that car because it was a Demon 170. If it was like a Honda Civic, they were like, yeah, we got another one right here. But the Demon 170 being a limited edition car, it's kind of like, God damn, because I doubt that's a kid's daily driver. If it is, he's definitely going to die. I don't I don't think something like that is a
01:39:20
Speaker
as a daily. Yeah. Well, it is because like when the typhoon, you know, the what is it, the GMC Cyclone, which was in 89, it was the it was a fucking S S10 was S15, which is GMC's version of the S10. It was literally the fastest vehicle on the planet in 89. And people were daily driving them.
01:39:48
Speaker
and and now the one just sold at Barrett Jackson for like 200 grand and it had a hundred thousand miles on it and That's what's gonna happen with these Dodge Demon 170s because there's so many so so few of them being sold and all these rich guys are Picking them up and just throwing them in the garage. Don't touch it. We'll just get the regular Hellcat and beat the piss out of it Because you can
01:40:17
Speaker
You can literally turn a Hellcat into a demon. Same. Same amount of horsepower. We're just changing a few things. Yeah. But the Demon 170, they're bad mama jellis. Just it's just I don't know. To me, that's just. It's one of those things that's like. For me, it would make sense for me to buy Dodge Demon 170.
01:40:46
Speaker
No, it wouldn't. If I had the money. No, no. And let me, let me explain. I mean, it's just like, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Dodge Dealership Controversy
01:40:53
Speaker
Just like if the Browns were in the Super Bowl and I offered you tickets to go to the Super Bowl and 50 yard line for a thousand bucks, would you buy it? To me, I'd be like, no, give it to Chris, he'll buy it. But me, it would waste the money. You,
01:41:16
Speaker
You're in same thing with this Dodge. Stephen 170. I would not daily drive it But I would add it to my collection If I would collect your cars which I plan to one day one day being far off but Any who any who but yeah fuck fuck that Dodge dealership in Mississippi Well fuck the employees of Dodge dealership
01:41:46
Speaker
Well, yeah, like I said, everybody, apparently the only person left standing was the owner. Everybody else. He basically walked in. He says, everybody in here is fucking fired. Get the fuck out. Well, I'm sure Dodge said, I'm sure Dodge said, look, we're going to remove your license. If you don't make this right. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. I mean, the owner should have been the first one to, uh,
01:42:16
Speaker
get the shopping block. Well, I, like I said, I don't think he was so, so much involved because literally like I used to work for a car dealership and the owner was never there. I met him once. Again, it doesn't, it doesn't matter as the owner or the franchise tag holder or license holder or whatever you're responsible and accountable for everything that happens there. Right. But once again, that's where
01:42:46
Speaker
and a transaction like that should have been brought his attention kind of knowledge of it. Yeah. You know, why do we have my dad? I didn't know I was on my boat off the coast of Mexico, Storton cocaine off of hookers. I don't know what was really, they just sold one of these cars that have to be specially ordered per customer. Right. Exactly. And then they sold it for cash. I'm sure it wasn't a small sale. As you said, it's MSRP is 96,000. Yeah.
01:43:17
Speaker
So, yeah, so we're doing all right. The owner is the first one on the chopping block, in my opinion. Bye bye. Yeah. You know, we'll book your franchise license or a tag or whatever it is. And we're going to send corporate there. And it's no longer a franchise. And now it's a corporate Dodge dealership. And, you know, we'll put the options out there if somebody else wants to buy the franchise. Yeah. Sure. Go home. Deuces. Yeah. You know, but.
01:43:47
Speaker
I'm glad the kids get in his car. I, once again, I don't think he necessarily should have his car. I mean, he might've grew up in an NHRA family. You never know, you know, I just, I just, I don't think cars like that should be available to the public. And I mean, I say the same thing about the Bugatti's and stuff like that, because you know, the people that are buying them have more money than brains and they're just,
01:44:15
Speaker
I mean, look at fucking Paul Walker. He was supposedly a car guy. And look what happened to him. He wasn't even driving. He wasn't even driving. Being James, he was a car guy. He died in the car. Yeah, but it's one of those things. It's like, it was a well-respected or Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was a well-respected, well-known NASCAR driver. And he still died in a NASCAR race. But once again, isn't that a little bit of Darwinism by letting these
01:44:41
Speaker
dumb kids buy million dollar cars. They end up killing. They're not just killing themselves. And if they're, this is true, it's more than likely that they're going to walk away from it and they're going to kill a family or they're going to kill somebody's dad. But at the end of the day, you could do the same thing in a Honda Civic. Yeah. I mean, it looked like fucking Nick Hogan, Hulk Hogan's son. Yeah. It was like 16 or some shit like that. He was underage and was drag racing or had something and gotten a car. He had that, he had that thousand horsepower Supra.
01:45:11
Speaker
I think he killed his best friend or some shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. And he walked away from it. Yeah. No business. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm old. Maybe I'm grumpy. Maybe I'm get off my lawn guy, but I don't think cars like that should be available to the public, especially because I know assholes like you exist. Yeah, but I've, I've grown out of that. You know, I, you know, a little bit, like I will still,
01:45:37
Speaker
I'll still open it up a little bit. I do have, I do have a, a, a respect. You have said multiple times on this show, I can't buy a brand new car because I'll avoid the warranty as soon as I pull off the lock. Cause I'm burning the tires off. No, no, you won't hold the warranty doing that. But like, if you buy a truck and you lift it, you avoid the warranty or dealership. And I see you pull out of the lot and do that. You better goddamn believe I'm throwing that warranty vapor out the window. Like it didn't exist.
01:46:06
Speaker
No, but under the rules of war, you, if you raise or lower your vehicle right after you buy it, you voided the warranty. Anything. Right. It's like, it's like me at work. If we have a warranty on a, on a rooftop unit, an air handler or something like that, and I go and try to fix something well, it automatically voids out the warranty. You don't touch it.
01:46:31
Speaker
And that's where I avoid the warranty. It's not necessarily because of the way I'm driving. It comes down to, I'm going to upgrade it. I want to make it look different than every other one that you see. Wrapping around a tree definitely avoids the warranty. Yeah, that'll do it. That's what you have insurance for. Well, insurance is not going to cover you for stupidity. But I mean, look at, look at older Corvettes.
01:46:57
Speaker
They don't waste shit and they still got plenty of power. They're, they're, they're 250 horse tops. And you can still do the same kind of damage that you can do in these one seventies. So it, it, it comes down to the, you know, it's that old adages. Well, I paid for the whole speedometer. Might as well use it. And it's people like that, but then, you know,
01:47:26
Speaker
It comes down to, if you, you almost should have like a class that you have to pass in order to buy a car like that. You know what I mean? Because some of them cars are stupid dangerous. I mean, shit, some of the cars we drove in high school were stupid dangerous. That old 5-0 Mustang that everybody
01:47:54
Speaker
It changed hands 400 times. That thing was dangerous as fuck. And it was a piece of shit. But we burnt the fucking tires off that shit. It's only it's only dangerous in the hand. It's like guns. They're only dangerous in the hands of idiots. Right. But you have to have a permit to have a gun. Yeah. Oh, I can. I'm actually very good. I'm talking about because I'm talking about being an idiot and being in a car. Driving it like an asshole.
01:48:25
Speaker
I only drive like an asshole when on where there's nobody around. When it's running and it's in gear. No. Oh, no. This is like if I'm on the road. So, so like all of a parking lot at high school and in part of the kid, nobody was around. Nobody was in the vehicle.
01:48:56
Speaker
Nobody was around because there was a big old cloud of smoke, so I couldn't see anybody so that counts Yeah, the same with the trivet chase But it comes down to it it's like you look at Jay Leno he's got a Giant collection of cars asshole Huh He's not out there driving like an asshole. Well, he almost died a couple months ago
01:49:26
Speaker
Yeah, but that nothing no, no, no, no, no, no. He went on one of the one of the episodes of Jay Leno's garage. He gets in a car with this guy. He built this car that does it. It's a wheelie car. All it does is do wheelies and he get it up and they're doing wheelies. And James is like, this is awesome. The guy drops it down and makes it turn a little bit too hard. Where were they doing this, Jeffrey? On the track.
01:49:53
Speaker
Exactly. They were doing it on a fucking freeway or an interstate or town traffic. Right. And that's what I said. I have the respect to do it in like an empty parking lot. Church. Church. There's a difference between a trained professional doing something on a track and losing control or wrecking or whatever that's on them.
01:50:19
Speaker
and there's nobody else at risk other than them or Jay Leno who was riding along because he's a home crew and yeah. And the film crew and everything like that. There's a big difference between some fucking jackass out on the freeway with a thousand power or a thousand horsepower vehicle. Who's like, I'm doing 60. I want to do 300 and just slamming it. That's where people get in trouble. That's like, you see all these videos of these car meetups.
01:50:46
Speaker
and some asshole in a fucking Mustang. He's like, I'm going to do a burnout and it loses his ass in and wipes out 30 fucking people who aren't doing anything other than just watching. Or those, oh, those people that block the fucking inner intersection and start doing donuts with everybody crowded around. And then people wonder why they get in by car. That's why I don't go to car meets. Cause I'm like, I've seen it. Cause you'd hit somebody cause you'd be like, no, cause no, actually believe or not,
01:51:13
Speaker
My biggest fear of goofing off in a, in a, in a car meet is hitting somebody else's car or hitting someone period. So I've got to be the guy that would run out the middle of the road to try to get a better shot. The car would hit you. But like I said, I think, I think over the years I've, I've, uh, what's the word for it?
01:51:42
Speaker
I've matured when it comes to goofing off the cars. I only do it in a controlled environment. Yeah. Yeah. I only do burnouts when I'm by myself. Yeah, that's maturing. I only do burnouts when I'm by myself downtown at a red light. Front with red car doesn't count. At a red light with people in a tourist city, people walking around. But I bought myself in the car, so it's okay. Front with red car.
01:52:12
Speaker
because they can't do burnouts. Oh, I didn't say they can't do burnout. They can 100% do burnout. But you're not, you're less likely to lose control over a front-wheel drive car doing a burnout. Those Mustangs that lose control and end up in the crowd, it's all because of the action. You know, there's a small chance of me getting eaten by a Paterodactyl, but it could happen. I'd like to see that. Yeah, I'm just saying. But it's like,
01:52:41
Speaker
You know, I can get hit by a bus tomorrow. I wish. I know you and me both, buddy. I hope you're just recording at the time. So I can play another show. And also in all seriousness, I'm just watching for buses and no shit. Just make sure you don't turn your camera away from the bus.
Courtroom Chaos & Humor
01:53:02
Speaker
Just watch my reaction. Yeah.
01:53:05
Speaker
turn around so you can see the bus coming in. There's days. There's days where like, you know, if I stepped out in front of it.
01:53:14
Speaker
Yeah, but you know, let's be honest, you know, damn well, you're like, you're like, fucking, I'm done. I'm just going to step out in front of this bus and you step out. The bus was stopping anyway. That'd be my, my luck is the fucker has the best brakes on the plan. It would be stopping anyways at the bus stop. You wouldn't realize. Step off the sidewalk. What are you doing? You hear the air ride doors open. You're like,
01:53:44
Speaker
Damn, I'm at a bus stop. Well, I guess I'll get on the bus, go home. Bus driver's like, what is this asshole doing? That will be my luck. Yeah. This jag ass. There are days where I think about it.
01:54:11
Speaker
Confusion to say don't think do hey Glitch a dick. He's encouraging chef to unalive himself No, I just wanted to record it because great content for the show fucking viral read about People like watching people do dumb things like for instance, did you hear about the the shit second button stupid that the inmate that
01:54:38
Speaker
I didn't like the judge's decision and jumped over the and jumped out. Oh, yeah. That boy launched himself over the **** I know. I know it's a little bit old. You see, I I've seen the video. I don't know what he was charged with. It was a whole she basically she basically said, yeah. Oh, you got it. Oh, yeah. I'm sure most of you guys have seen this but you gotta see this cat, dude.
01:55:04
Speaker
You're out of jail, bitch. And he's like, the fuck am I am, crazy lady? He needs to have something else, because I just can't with that history. In accordance with the laws of San Nevada, there's of course... Oh, shit, bro. Fuck that. Oh, boy, launched himself. He's like, fuck this bitch. My man got up, bro. Yeah, he does.
01:55:35
Speaker
It would have been so much better as he'd done it. He would have been like, Parkour. Look at him. Look how high he got. He was a good two feet above that. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you gotta see. I mean, dude was like, I just can't with that history. You hear him in the background.
01:56:06
Speaker
Look at him. Look at him. He is. He cleared that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Cleared it. Smoked her ass. This motherfucker should be playing defensive back in the NFL. I love homeboy in the end of the street. Yeah, I do just throw it. Hey, man. You're like, oh, oh, you want to play? You want to play? You're kidding. You're fucking kidding, man.
01:56:35
Speaker
He's not even, he's not even trying to restrain the dude. He's just waiting for somebody else to grab it. So that just reminds me. He's like, guy in a white shirt, tied in. We're just going to Wolverine's go blue. University of Birmingham, Alabama.
01:57:07
Speaker
I know it's a lot like he was he's he's going away for a very very very long because I was a federal judge in what world in what world did he think this will work this should be like oh I changed my mind after you just whooped my hat yeah right like the judge is gonna go oh wow you know what my bad
01:57:33
Speaker
my bad. You should you should clearly be on the streets. You are perfectly mentally stable and nothing at all is wrong with you in any way. He could he now it could plead temporary insanity. Nope. Oh boy.
01:58:02
Speaker
I just love in the background. My man said **** **** hell no.
01:58:19
Speaker
I'm just saying he missed the opportunity. I don't want to go do that. Judge's hand at the moment because you know she like had that she had that moment where she seen him coming like the **** is he? Oh, he's **** here we go. Yeah. Oh my god. I mean, he's done. Yeah. I got you for three minutes.
01:58:43
Speaker
That's what she said. That's what she said. Uh I just want to I just want to know what they're doing and that and that and that one or two seconds. Let's see what happens next. Yeah. What we're going through that judge's mind is she sees this dude just clearing her head. Just everything slows down and she just start. Is this motherfucker charged with me?
01:59:12
Speaker
like a JD moment, like a JD moment, just all of a sudden the inner monologue starts kicking in. It was at the time that she knew she fucked up. Homeboys should be playing defensive back for some NFL team with a tackle like that. Boy going to get out and get himself a scholarship.
01:59:40
Speaker
I need to redo that video with change, do the sound of Bobby Boucher. Bobby Boucher came back at halftime and helped the mud dogs win in the mud basketball. Remember that time when Bobby Boucher jumped over to the judge's desk and damn near killed her? No, I did.
02:00:16
Speaker
I don't agree with what he just recently said. I'm just saying missed opportunity. You're going to jail. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of guys that are that are in jail. They're like, Tim, I wish I could have done that shit.
02:00:41
Speaker
I just I just love the moments before he jumps in there. Now, **** that. He's like, oh, hell no. Can we all imagine being this defense lyric one? Well, you're **** now, dude. You just throw all the papers up in the air going, yep, I'm good. I **** quit. I quit. I hate this **** job.
02:01:08
Speaker
No mercy. I'm going back. I'm going to be a barista. I'm going to live my dream of being a star. I get back, I get back to his office and his boss like, so what happened? Well, well,
02:01:33
Speaker
We've all had bad days. You know, every, every lawyer in movies and stuff has got that, the bottles, the bottles of alcohol. He just walked in, grabs a bottle. Fuck you. I envisioned like in a movie, you know, when like something bad happens and then you get back to the office and everybody's like in a room waiting on you. And they're like, so how was your day, Frank?
02:02:01
Speaker
Well, you know, another day, there's somebody turns around, turns the TV on. Let's do the replay, shall we, Frank? So that was your song, right? You said we should take this guy on. I'm just saying. You can kiss your partner shop, burnership goodbye. Go home, his wife's already packing up and leaving. We had a good run.
02:02:29
Speaker
He's like, I get it. I get it. I know. You want the house? You want me to help you back? I can help you load that shit. He's like, you want the house? You want the car? No, no. You can keep the house. You can keep the car. Your boss has a much nicer house and car. Speaking of wives leaving their husbands, have you seen that? There's a story out there.
02:02:56
Speaker
got divorced and the judge said, you need to give your wife half your stuff. Motherfucker took a chainsaw to everything in his house, measured it and cut it. And then put all her stuff that she was supposed to keep in the front yard and said, there you go. You need to get fucking literal.
02:03:24
Speaker
Catch a bitch. Well, the other guy I saw a video about two weeks ago, um, he got divorced and the judge said, the judge says, uh, you have to turn the house over to her. So he rented a bulldozer and he bulldozed the house to the ground and handed her the keys and said, there you go. Who said that?
02:03:53
Speaker
It was okay. My lawyers and it's okay. It's okay. lawyers sitting there going, what the **** dude?
02:04:07
Speaker
just a lawyer with a at the at the table, you know, you're just like, bro, what really is like, I know you said we lose the case. It was like, I knew you said you was going to jump that bitch. I thought we would. I thought it was just friendly joke. I thought it was a joke, dude. I listened to Jeff and Glick talk about being put in the same asylum. I know they're not going to be. I thought it was just like, guys, this is winning, right? No, you fucking jumped the
02:04:38
Speaker
I'm the asshole here because of you. I hope you get raped. Day one. You spent your entire sentence getting raped. However, you know, if that guy goes to jail, that story is going to get out and he's going to be king. Well, that is going to be the complete opposite effect. Good job, Tommy.
02:05:07
Speaker
Yeah, that'll work out for you. I get out next week. She's overseeing my fucking parole hearing. You fucking asshole. I look just like you. Now, the judge is just helping, unlocking everybody up. He's like, you're in front of my court. You're going to jail, motherfucker. You know, you're going to do it. There's an unpaid traffic ticket. 25 years to life.
02:05:44
Speaker
It's just for me. opportunity for for all. Not anymore. You've screwed that pooch boy. Oh. Can you imagine that judge when she gets home and her husband's like, so how's your day, dear?
02:06:03
Speaker
She's like, don't fucking talk to me, you man. A man hater. Spoiler alert, I'm a lesbian now. What did I do? Dude, it's our anniversary. What the fuck? What the hell? Have you not seen the news? You know how those courtroom drama TV shows, they have
02:06:29
Speaker
like, like night court, they have like the next 40 cases behind him. The guy right after that's like, you motherfucker. Wait, wait, wait until I get into, wait until I get back to the jail. Everybody in there is like, yeah, wait until we get back. Cause you know, yeah, now she's pissed. You know how women are. Yeah. I'm just saying.
02:06:57
Speaker
I wonder if, if the, I mean, we get in trouble because we cheat on them in their dreams. Agreed. You imagine how much trouble every fucking prisoner is in now because of that one guy. No, but it's like, she comes home and her husband's like,
02:07:24
Speaker
update the office. I wonder if the next case could have said, I'm pretty sure this judge is gonna be biased. I need a new judge. Because that's the whole thing. You can, you know, I would be pushing my lawyer like, hey, we got to get a new judge. But your court, your
02:07:51
Speaker
your hearing is like five minutes. Fuck that bitch. She's got a grudge on her shoulder. Remember during COVID, how they put those plexiglass shields up? Well, now all judges desk have like barbed wire, chicken wire fence. Or they're just behind bars.
02:08:18
Speaker
like, like when you go to the DMV, you know, when you go to the bank, they got that bulletproof glass. Yeah. That. Is that for COVID? No, for you, asshole. Oh, okay. Jumping Jack Flash over here. It was a gas boy, let me tell you.
02:08:58
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
02:09:02
Speaker
It was a madness, man. Well, I'm sure her first thought was, oh, the bailouts will catch him in time. That dude was shucking and jiving. And he just like, I love it. It was my favorite at the end. He's just like,
02:09:20
Speaker
I'm going to get some swings in. He wasn't even grabbing dude, but he was like, I'm going to throw some **** punches. This is a bad ****. I **** hate this job. Little known secret. You guys didn't know that. That was his defense attorney. You **** asshole. Oh, man.
02:09:49
Speaker
Yeah, that was that couple. I love that dude. Cause you know, like that's that little smart bastard that you hate in the office. It's always kissing up to the boss. He's the one that's just throwing those punches. Yeah. That was that guy. It was sort of punches. I got him judge. I got him for you. Well, he's also that guy at the water cooler. It's like this one time I was in a fight. Now I can actually say I was in a fight. Yeah.
02:10:19
Speaker
He's always bragging now he's got proof. We call for a medic after some fucking shit. If any day that she needed to take a personal day, she could be like, you know what?
02:10:41
Speaker
We're moving everything back two days. I'm taking the next. What would have been what would have been fantastic is if he jumped over the desk like that and she pulled out. She pulled out a shank from underneath her robe and started fucking shaking the shit out of him while he was those Billy clubs.
02:10:58
Speaker
She had like a full blown prison shank made out of it. He jumps on her and she pulls it out for the rope and starts shanking him in the stomach. Or better yet, as he jumps, she turns into like Black Widow.
02:11:17
Speaker
everybody's like, well, maybe not **** with the **** I'm just saying. She slides to the right a little bit and catches him with the hook right in the throat. **** Thank you for jumping over my **** desk. It's my **** desk **** but but she does it slowly. She's just like like it's the most normal thing in the world. Like it happens every day. She's
02:11:48
Speaker
She said him jump over the desk multiple times a day just in case. She likes me better. Okay, don't get kidnapped. It's raining out there.
02:12:14
Speaker
Yeah, that guy, that guy was throwing his punches. He's, he's definitely the ass kiss. Oh yeah, he's the one I ever said the ass kiss. You know, he's the one. I got a couple swacks in. I got him for you, boss. I showed him who, I showed him who was in charge. He was landing all them freaking haymakers right in the kidney and homeboy probably didn't even feel it. Yeah.
02:12:54
Speaker
I've waited 45 years for this moment. I'm going to be the hero. Yeah. You know, the problem is that guy now that he's landed three punches in his entire life,
02:13:06
Speaker
He thinks he's a Billy badass. He's going to the bar. He's like, who wants to fuck with me? I just beat up a convict. No, you didn't motherfucker. He was being held by four other dudes, seven, six foot plus 200 pound bailouts, holding them down. And you were hitting them. You were hitting them, you know, cheap shot. He felt anything you did. He was a hopped up on.
02:13:32
Speaker
You know, they were hitting. They were getting that we couldn't even see on the camera. They were.
02:13:40
Speaker
It was a broken leg. He's in a coma. Somebody probably stuck a thumb in his eye like. Oh, it's flipped. Yeah, it's a full on Jack Reacher first movie. Susie gets in the fucking band to go to the prison. He just gets end up like coma. Yeah. Well, it wasn't the prisoners. It was the fucking bailers.
02:14:10
Speaker
that their wives treat them like shit and their kids don't listen. I'm going to beat somebody up motherfucker. Oh, man. Speaking of Reacher. Season three is going to be a solo mission again. Very similar to season one. Nice. I really bring Neely back. I like Neely.
02:14:39
Speaker
I did too. I liked the guy, the guy that carried the brass knuckles. Oh, I liked him too. But Neely was in the first one. Was she? Yeah. She was, she was the one that was helping him in New York and stuff like that. Oh. Yeah. She was in the first one. I liked Neely. She's cool. Yeah. Never tell you you're a good friend, Neely. Not often enough. Did you finish? Yeah, I finished watching it.
02:15:08
Speaker
The last thing they say to each other was kind of a little bit of a choke up moment. The wages comes up. It looks like you guys have had a rough night. Yeah, we've had a little dude's got, he's got a bullet wound in his leg. The orders of bull of cereal, pops, puffs, and fruit loops in that order. In that order. And then chocolate milkshake.
02:15:38
Speaker
She knows what she wants. I have one mild problem with the ending that Richard didn't keep a little bit of money for himself for traffic. You know, I guess, but no, because the other thing he bought for himself was a new toothbrush and he didn't buy it. That chick that he bought the past so he could travel anywhere he wanted for a year. Right.
02:16:04
Speaker
He probably kept a little bit of cash on it. Well, he, he, the thing is, the whole concept of the Reachers, he's got a pension. So he gets like five grand a month and it's not like he's got bills. Yeah. He got a bills. He just wanders. He's a modern day drifter. Could you do that?
02:16:25
Speaker
Oh, if I have five grand a month and I didn't have no bills or anything like that, I just travel. Yeah. Could I whoop everybody's ass that known to mankind? No, but I mean, I mean, basically, basically, I'm Reacher. They may, they may that what I'm what I mean is, is like the dude's got zero ties, like in the movies and the books, he doesn't even have a credit card. No, he doesn't. He doesn't. He only carries cash. Yeah, he. Yeah, he you know, well, he he.
02:16:55
Speaker
Well, he has to have a passport so he could actually that's his only form of ID. And it's basically on, you know, mildly untrackable. Yeah, yeah. And then the only reason he has a passport is so he can get money out at the fucking Western Union. You have to have a formal idea today. And he literally wires himself money and then carries cash all the time. But my question is, if, you know,
02:17:24
Speaker
unlimited funds so to speak five grand a month wander the US Staying off the grid. I think would be fun Staying off the grid ish. Yeah, they have been pretty cool. They do off the grid ish. Yeah, cuz yeah, I mean he a guy that big The fact that he stays off the grid as much as he does is kind of impressive considering all the shit he gets in and
02:17:54
Speaker
We follow him on our Instagram page. He's fucking a trip. Yeah, he is. He's hilarious. On Instagram. He does a lot of shit with his kids and his wife and stuff. He's a goofy guy, too. If you see him on the show and you're just like, he's serious, no nonsense. But then you see him on Instagram and stuff. He's just a big old dumb animal, isn't he, folks? I was watching a reel today that he did it. He was talking about the season finale and hopefully everybody enjoyed it. And he's like, everybody that knows me.
02:18:24
Speaker
knows that I love one thing more than anything else. And that's, you also know that I hate one thing more than anything else. And that's the cold. So if you see the final episode, we're out there at the stove and the cold and blah, blah, blah. And it just so happened that the executives were there that day and they got to live in our world. And he was like, however, the next day they did send us all soup so we could stay warm during shooting. And I was happy.
02:18:54
Speaker
six foot five like 300 pounds all muscle oh jesus that dude is like one percent body fat if that he did a video it's like everybody's always asking me about uh how i stay healthy and how i stay fit it is like it's all about proper diet
02:19:12
Speaker
He's like, like, for instance, and he shows this plate and he's got like, there's a salad, but he's like, it's got chicken and rice and da, da, da, there's some protein and da, da. And then he scans over and he reaches into a box of fucking cookies and grabs this giant cookie out and he's eating it. And he's like, that's how I do it. I just eat right. And I eat healthy. Apparently he works out like a motherfucker. Yeah. You don't get that just by sitting around the house.
02:19:40
Speaker
what a podcast three nights a week and drinking beer. Otherwise speak for yourself. I think out of all the TV shows to be involved with that one would be the most fun. It just looks like a fun set. You know what I mean? Like like something like suits or or or
02:20:10
Speaker
you know, friends or something like that, it would get old really fast. Because the beauty that that show is every scene is a different location. Where something like friends or suits or, you know, these, these shows where it happened in like four locations, all nine seasons, like, yeah, okay, we're in Frasier's apartment again, big deal. But friends being Frasier's apartment.
02:20:34
Speaker
I'm just using Frasier. Cause like you ever seen Frasier, that show all happened in one fucking apartment. Well, in the radio station. Well, barely, but 90% of it. Look at the cast. I thought it'd be cool to be on like the cast of scrubs or the cast of, okay. Yeah. I think it comes down to the cast. Like I don't think I would have wanted to be on friends, but I would have loved to be on scrubs.
02:21:03
Speaker
I think what would make that being on set with with with with Reacher would be uh the fact that it's such a serious show but Alan Richardson is such a goofball in real life. Yeah. You know when you're not shooting, he's probably he's cutting it up acting a damn fool. Well, see II think if I ever get the chance to meet John C. McKinley, I want him to call me every girl's name in the book. I mean, I could do that for you.
02:21:33
Speaker
Now, but it's not the same. John C. McKinley calls JD a girl's name in the best way possible. My favorite episode is when the internal dialogue is switched and he's thinking about what to call him. He's like, Judy, Susan. And he calls her Mildred or something like that. It's fucking hilarious.
02:22:05
Speaker
I think it comes down to the cast. Being on a show with the right cast would be fun. But being on a show with a boring cast that would be ugh. What's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's
02:22:34
Speaker
He just walks away. All I hear is talking in the background. Who are you calling a dumbass? You're a dog? A damn dog. And Nikki's read like three books tonight since we've started the show.
02:22:57
Speaker
Well, our, our shows do tend to go long. What books are she reading? We're at two hours and 20 minutes. She's reading books on her Kindle. She said she's read like six books in the last two days. Oh, that's not really a book. That's like a short story. I read 150 pages in a week and a half, let alone agreed. I can get paid. I'm not reading 500, 600 pages in two hours.
02:23:27
Speaker
Well, I was a fucking speed reader over there. I don't mind reading. But I I do, too. I do, too. But it's boring. What I like to do, I actually found a whole bunch of audio books. I found different websites of audio books where like when I'm doing the dishes or something. I can throw the fucking audio book on. I'm actually listening to Dead Before Dawn. Which is the True Blood books.
02:23:58
Speaker
And I'm listening to the Game of Thrones books. Song of Ice and Fire. All depends on what I'm in the mood for. That's Ed Sheeran's song. What's that? Song of Ice and Fire? That's the books of Game of Thrones. But like right now in the in the Sookie Stackhouse novels, I'm. Right before Jason goes to jail. Before they find out who.
02:24:28
Speaker
Who's who killed grandma and all that shit? And, you know, we've both seen the show. I don't know if you've finished it yet or not, but but on the final season. The the books, there's Lafayette is almost barely in it. It's so annoying. And in the books, he's apparently dressed as way more from that from
02:24:56
Speaker
that he does on the show. That's what I said. Tell her the new fad is BJs. That's over the top. She needs a better hobby. Tell her the new fad is BJs. There you go. Facts. I mean, who doesn't enjoy an old-fashioned DJ? What Connie likes to do.
02:25:24
Speaker
Yeah, ain't that right? Change your name from Connor Myers to Connie Myers. Yeah, there you go. All right. You know, I'm watching that show White Collar. And why? Because it's actually pretty good. Plus, I've run out of everything else to watch. I've already watched Scrubs all the way through twice. One of the things I want to do is I want to
02:25:52
Speaker
speaking of reading, I want to start reading like the old classics like Ulysses and all that shit like that. I just can't be bothered. Ulysses. Yeah. What are you talking about? Like, you know, the old classic books. I agree.
02:26:20
Speaker
I agree. I feel like you're thinking of a different book. No, Ulysses, it's a novel. Yeah, Four Minutes Before Bedtime, thank you. Written by James Joyce. Now you go to sleep. It's from March 8th, March or 18th, 1918 was when it was written. You got your pajamas on? Yeah. He went out in shorts.
02:26:51
Speaker
you put pants on to take the dog out yeah you're a lying ass you want to see first published in 1922 oh well that's what i said do you have shorts on you crackhead yeah i said no yeah i have no idea what you're talking about Joe you've never heard of the book Ulysses what's it about i'm no fucking glue i haven't read it that's why i said i want to read it hey
02:27:18
Speaker
I know he is. It's generally regarded as a masterpiece. I can give you that. Do you guys read that off of Wikipedia? Yes, I did. Actually, it's off of Google, but, you know, whatever. It's over here prepared like the South horizon. You know, it is. It's a modern novel written by Irish writer James. What the fuck is the book about, Jeff? I don't care who wrote it or when it came out, if it's a novel or if it's a novella or if it's a
02:27:44
Speaker
transcript or or a playwright or a poem or anything like that what the fuck is the book about hold on let me look i'm asking you if you're giving me every other god it's like i'm talking to fucking a politician here so ulysses is a chronicle about a
02:28:13
Speaker
Oh, Jesus. I don't know. I would say parapodactic appointments and encounters of Leopold Bloom in Dublin in the course of original day, 1904. I was thinking the same thing. It's like Ulysses S Grant is what, like, what the hell are we talking about? Capoque Ulysses. I got her said, this bitch said, I don't care if it's a novella.
02:28:44
Speaker
Yeah, so I'll ask you what the fuck is it about? How do you know you want to read a book if you don't know anything about it? Because it's generally regarded as a masterpiece. Who told you it was generally regarded as a masterpiece? Fucking Google when you just looked it up? No, it is. It's literally mentioned in multiple things. There's the definition.
02:29:06
Speaker
Published in 1922, the story traces a single day. June 16 in 1904, lived several characters, double in Ireland. The main protagonist includes every man, Leopold Bloom. Stephanie Douglas, a young man, Joyce's literal alter ego, struggled through death of his mother and Leopold's wife, Molly. Yeah, I'll watch the movie. Yeah, it's actually been made in there. Actually, no, I won't. I'm just kidding. I won't watch the fucking movie either because it sounds fucking horrendous.
02:29:36
Speaker
It's this is why I get so bored in the books that I do read are, are, are paranormal related or, or true crime related, or like I have that, that weird Ohio book, which just breaks down local celebrities, folklore, urban legends, roadside attractions, parent, ghost stories. Right.
02:30:01
Speaker
That's the stuff I like to read. I'm like, I won't even read a book written by fucking Barry Sanders because Barry Sanders I don't even know what your fucking career was. I don't need to read about it I don't care what happened afterwards, bro. You had a good career. You had a good life. I don't know how I'm bored Well, like I want to read the great Gatsby. I've seen the movie Because it it's it's called your motherfucker. You've seen the movie. You're good. I know
02:30:32
Speaker
100 years of solitude. You just want to read shit because you've seen other pretentious ass prick. How do you figure? You're a fucking nerd. You're a fucking nerd. No one likes you. No one likes you.
02:31:02
Speaker
How do I figure? You don't want to read a book because you think you're going to like it. You're going to read a book because you've been told for centuries that it's a it's a grand masterpiece. Well, like like reading catcher in the rye or the great Gatsby or you know, even Frankenstein. I've seen of mice in the movie. I don't need to read the book. I know how it ends.
02:31:27
Speaker
I watched the outsiders. The book was great, but I didn't need to read it because I watched the fucking movie. Right. But you're saying I didn't need to read the book as great as it may be. Well, for example, everything you've ever written, I've seen the movies. This is true. No, but like like the Reacher books, you wouldn't read the Reacher books. Watch the movies.
02:31:55
Speaker
There's more than one. There's more than Tom Cruise being a bad ass. Yeah, I agree that five before of him. You had me. We'll see. Like I read. I read the books by Clive Cussler. You see the movie Sahara book about a serial killer. I'm going to read the shit out of that. Right. And that's what I'm saying. Like I love the Clive Cussler novels. He did. He did that movie Sahara with Matt McConaughey.
02:32:25
Speaker
in the desert with, uh, what's her, what's that, what's that Steve Zahn's in it. And, uh, what's her name? Do you like your sister go to sleep for God's sakes? Yeah. Sounds like she didn't want to have a conversation with you because you said Austin will not let me go to bed. That's a bunch of in the throat. Austin Austin conversation rapes people. I mean, rapes people all the time.
02:32:55
Speaker
Nobody actually wants to talk to her. She ear grapes. She ear grapes. Yeah, she ear grapes people. I think Nikki's the only one that talks to her unwillingly. No, but like Clive Kussler, he's got like Raised the Titanic. He's got their adventure books like Hidden Buried Treasure and shit like that. They're amazing. Yeah, buddy. Are you going to sleep in your hoodie?
02:33:27
Speaker
Pretty uncomfortable, you know, you got 27 blankets in there Try to get shoes to go in there go to bed with you probably can't get up on your bed because she's a fat ass Just say don't do drugs
02:33:51
Speaker
So wait for that. I know. Actually, we've had this conversation. I don't do drugs. I love it. My 10 year old son is telling you not to do drugs. Don't do drugs, Joe. Don't do what I would do. I don't know. Biggie's definitely not reading great works of literature. What is she reading? Baby, what are you reading right now? Are you still into the
02:34:20
Speaker
Smuts. Oh, she were reading girl porn. Not really girl porn, baby. What are you reading now? Are you still reading like the same type of stuff? Are you still reading the same kind of stuff? Yeah, I'll do a different genre. What are you reading now? Murder mysteries. Murder mysteries. OK, yeah. She was reading like she was reading like
02:34:49
Speaker
Like BDSM, kind of crime type books, but it had an element of BDSM and sexuality. And so she wasn't reading like- Oh, porn. No, it's not necessarily girl porn, but she wasn't reading like Fifty Shades of Grey or anything like that. It was just, one series she was reading was about FBI agents that were
02:35:19
Speaker
like they went undercover to try to find something to do with like sex trafficking and uh but there was a there was a world of BDSM and it was it was it again I mean she's told me about him and and it's like yeah I don't I would just get you know nothing against you know me personally it's not my cup of tea I would get bored reading it like I said you give me a book about serial killers I'm in you give me a book about true crime I'm in
02:35:49
Speaker
you know, paranormal. I'm in, you know, comic books, graphic novels. I'm in, you know, I'm in. I just I need something that's that's that's gripping. That's that's interesting. Not gripping, but something that's going to work with my ADHD or ADHD brain because I get bored if I'm reading like like fucking Harry Potter. OK, I get it. I've read three pages. I get it. You're a fucking orphan and you're a wizard.
02:36:19
Speaker
and you're going to beat the guy with no nose. Okay. Cool. I'm out. Or you're going to beat off the guy with no nose. I have no idea. And then there's a weird bearded pedophile that lives under the stairs with a fucking troll that he keeps in a cage. I don't know what's going on. It's a weird world of Harry Potter, but I'm out. Well, the beauty of like, I think you would kind of get into Clive Kussler. He's, he, he actually does adventure books.
02:36:47
Speaker
so it's it's uh like the the main character's character called Dirk Pitt and he researches shipwrecks or whatnot and goes but on his way to get there he's always sidetracked by helping quote unquote the damsel in distress and you know it all works out in the end and everything but they're they're amazing they like i said they made the movie Sahara with Steve Zahn and Matt McConaughey and uh i can't remember her fucking name
02:37:18
Speaker
What's the chick that, that, uh, Oh my God. She, that vanilla sky movie with, with Tom Cruise, where he fucked up pace. Uh, um, the Latina chick. Oh, God damn it. Actress. Um,
02:37:49
Speaker
Oh, it's going to drive me nuts. It's Penelope Cruz, isn't it? Excellent book. And the movies are amazing. But those those those are, you know, the kind of books I definitely read, but I do want to read more of the quote unquote classics, like maybe not catch her in the rye, but, you know, there's a bunch of
02:38:20
Speaker
like the what's uh what's the i want to read uh don kiyodi because it's literally it's about a fool a guy that basically he's it's it's murphy's law in a book everything can go wrong for this guy it's a comedy but it's supposed to be an amazing book but i
02:38:50
Speaker
once again that my I'm not the biggest reader but I wish I was a more accomplished reader because you said Nikki read like six books in a week days yeah it would take me a year to read six books because
02:39:12
Speaker
There's always something out. Hey, look, there's TV. You know, I just that's much as you said, the ADHD kicks in and reading is not necessarily fun for me. But I wish I could get into reading more. Yeah, I just. Just can't, can you?
02:39:38
Speaker
I just can't. It's such a nerd thing to do. Boring. It's all fucking boring to me. That's easy. All the time. I'll be in the nerd, but it's not even a matter of just being a nerd thing. It's just. It's fucking boring, bro. God, man. Well, the beauty of it is you get to you. The way I do it anyways, is I turn it into a movie in my head. I visualize what I'm reading.
02:40:09
Speaker
But I get it. I have the same problem. It is boring and I can never get comfortable. But like, I eventually would like to get a library of books. And then, you know, power outages and stuff like that. It's great. Because when the power is out, let's crack open a fucking book. There's nothing better to do.
02:40:39
Speaker
I got my phone. I can just watch a movie. Yeah. I'm just saying. Well, like I said, it comes down to, you know, if the phones, if your battery is dead, the power is out. You can't charge your phone. You don't have your car. Oh, what the hell is my car going to be? Maybe it's a snow storm. It's a snow storm and I can't go start my car and charge my phone. You're out of fucking gas.
02:41:10
Speaker
I'm never out of gas. Maybe it's a long spoiler alert. You don't have to have gas to turn your car on to charge your phone. So your battery's dead. Now you can't feel my battery too. Sure. Along with your catalytic converter. Did you hear about that lady? She got busted. She made $16 million stealing catalytic converters. Not mad at her.
02:41:38
Speaker
I mean, she didn't steal mine. So I'm not mad, but yeah, who would have thunk $16 million. The problem is if you, if you show up with a bank with $16 million, I mean, obviously it was over time. You gotta be able to prove it.
02:42:10
Speaker
I mean, not really. If you don't, I mean, you could keep it all in cash, but yeah, I mean, $60 million takes up a little bit of space. I really don't think you're, I really don't think you're, uh, if you're still in catalytic converters, I don't think you're, you're, uh,
02:42:32
Speaker
depositing, you know, you're not, you're not getting, uh, you're not paying your, your, your local or federal or, and you're not getting, you're not taking checks or whatever more than likely. If you're still in catalytic converters, that's a, you know, when we used to go to, no, cause when we used to go to mill iron, cause what we would do is we would wait, cause I worked at children plumbing, we wait and take water heaters to mill iron.
02:43:00
Speaker
and we'd load up like 12 water heaters and they would pay us by check. Yeah, but you're not filling out tax information by dropping off shit at the scrappiest. This is true. This is true. But you have to go cash a check and you know, you cash 14 checks or $16 million worth of checks over the course of, you know, a year. Somebody's going to catch on. Are they though?
02:43:28
Speaker
Well, it depends. I mean my my smart ass. I'm like, yeah, we're gonna take a road trip and go to 45,000 different banks You know problem is like where where I grew up there was only three banks in town Are you surprised Connor Listen here Connie
02:43:57
Speaker
Nobody asked you. I just asked one simple fucking question. The dude's a goddamn politician. I asked one question and he answered 47 other questions. He answered 47 other questions that had nothing to do with the one question I asked. The point is, it's, you know, to improve myself. It's a miniature masterpiece. Who the fuck told you that, Google?
02:44:24
Speaker
No, but I can't believe you've never heard of Lou Ulysses. I bet you've asked Nikki. She knows what Ulysses is. She might never know what it's about, but she's heard the term, the book. He's definitely a Poindexter. Fair enough. Fucking nerd. I learned how to spell. He wrote pain. Did he write pain? He wrote a point. Did he? Okay.
02:44:52
Speaker
I don't know how you spell Poindexter, but I'm pretty sure he spelled Poindexter wrong. I don't know. It doesn't matter. We knew what he meant. Yeah, I know. I'm not that guy who's going to make somebody feel bad because they misspelled something because I understand. He's picked it on me. I'm going to go ahead and make him feel bad about it. Make her feel bad about it. I mean, I mean, she's right. I'm picking on you because you deserve it because I literally asked you
02:45:17
Speaker
and one fucking question and you answered, like I said, 47 other questions or you answered 47 other things that had nothing to do with the question I actually asked you. And then all of that was just because of what you read off of Google reviews is not even actually anything that you even is. Yeah, exactly. I don't know it because I haven't read it because I think it is your pretentious prick.
02:45:43
Speaker
How is that pretentious? Because because I want to improve. I'm going to read a book. What book are you going to read? Ulysses? What's it about? Because you say Ulysses and me and not just me alone all think of Ulysses as Grant. I first time I heard it, I thought the same thing. I got you, Connie.
02:46:12
Speaker
I could've just told you to look it up. And guess what I wouldn't have done? I know. I just wanted to know why you wanted to read the fucking book. I didn't want you to tell me what... What's going on, Miss Krista? I didn't want you to tell me what other people had said in their goddamn Google reviews. What New York Times bestseller list said. The book's been out for a long time. Every book Oprah's ever written has
Classic Literature vs. Gripping Content
02:46:40
Speaker
been a literature masterpiece.
02:46:43
Speaker
Yeah, I don't believe that for a fucking minute. Holy shit! I think I changed my mind. The book is 987 pages. Not shit. Same old, same old. Living life. You ain't reading the fucking book. It's almost a thousand pages. No, but I did find the audiobook, so I'm okay with it.
02:47:06
Speaker
Yeah. The only book that you're reading that's almost a thousand pages is a goddamn manual to some goofy ass car. Hey, I'll tell you what, I'd love to have a library of car manuals. I think we all, that's the dream. Gotcha. You know, having to have no idea. Sometimes I love you, man. Sometimes I just want to come to Cancun, get my bus driving license and take, take just, just
02:47:35
Speaker
I'll GPS you. I just. I don't know what happened. I lost control. You drove through a gate. You drove through it. A gated community. You drove through a gate. And then drove through a house. Yeah, I know. Totally worth it. Hashtag worth it. Listen to the last 300 and some odd episodes of our podcast. You know, it's justified.
02:48:04
Speaker
I'm just saying. I'm just saying. It's a little bit of culture. And if the judge says not not justified, all you hear from me in the background, **** that **** Parkour. You know what Connie from Young Sheldon is a dope ****
02:48:33
Speaker
I'm just glad that you've decided. Connie from Young Sheldon is the same woman from Ghostbusters. Wasn't that the dude who lived with his mom? Wasn't that his wife? Who? Who the hell is Connie? Connie, she plays Sheldon's grandmother in Young Sheldon. She's the secretary from Ghostbusters.
02:49:07
Speaker
I don't know, man. I'm not I'm not a book guy. I'm not either. I watched the movie. I know it sounds pretentious but I I wish I was.
02:49:30
Speaker
No, it doesn't sound pretentious because you like to read books. It sounds pretentious when you say dumb shit. Like I want to read your listeners. Oh, yeah. What's that about Jeff? Oh, well, why do you want to read it? It's a literature masterpiece. What the fuck did you hear that at? I just looked it up on Google. No, but the point is like you are somebody else in a movie say something about that book. And then you're like, oh, I want to read. I can't believe you've never heard of Ulysses. I've never heard of it. I'm sure not a lot of people have heard of.
02:50:01
Speaker
You uncultured swine. Pretentious prick. I'll take it. I'll take it. G-spot is all I need to know, and I can find that all day. You know, the flip-stop is just a show. There's a lot different from the G-spot. And I'm sure we can make the difference. We can ask your wife, and you can see what she says. Yeah, exactly.
02:50:28
Speaker
should say if he if he could buy the juice but I would do this drawer for of uh if you know what I mean actually climbing Everest, would you climb Everest? Given the chance a it costs like 45 grand by the way. It costs like 45. I'm gonna I'm gonna let you think about that question and who you ask it to and I'll be right back.
02:50:58
Speaker
Honestly if I honestly Jeff You wouldn't It costs between thirty two thousand and sixty thousand dollars to And that's just for you logistics purposes You know paperwork and all that shit to climb Everest Plus you have to hire a sherpa
02:51:29
Speaker
Oh, that includes the hiring the shirt. That's insane. I don't know if I would. It's one of those things like it's not on my bucket list, but. I think I think the problem with climbing Everest is it's fucking cold.
02:52:00
Speaker
Oh shit 100% it's the bucket list for me for real Dolly K2 and Everest. I really want to get healthy and do that The problem is what is what is the chances of dying on Everest? Oh My god
02:52:31
Speaker
Okay, so you got 1% chance of death that's not terrible But it's cold dude, I don't do cold
02:52:59
Speaker
No, it doesn't. That's not what I said. Yeah, that's not what you said. Yeah, I will. Next thing. Next thing. Next thing. Next thing. No, since you're so cultured, the next thing you're going to say is, oh, I'm going to go to art museums and look at art. And no, Jeff, why do you think I would climb Mount Everest if I had the opportunity? I am afraid of heights. You know what a mountain is, right?
02:53:29
Speaker
What if I give you unlimited beer? If you reach the top, you got an unlimited supply of beer for life. No. If you give me an unlimited amount of beer, you give it to me out front. I sit at the bottom of the mountain and I watch everybody else climb it and drink beer. I don't know if I climb it. You're crippled. You can't climb on it. 110%. It's a bucket list item for me for real.
02:53:58
Speaker
Denali K2 and Everest. I really
Mount Everest Ambitions & Fears
02:54:00
Speaker
want to get healthy. More power to you, bro. You know, at the end of the day, I don't know why he's yelling. Who cares? Uh, because I told him there's 1% chance of death. Oh, a 1%. Yeah. I just looked it up. So climbing Everest, there's a 1% chance, around 1% chance of death. Oh, that's a little percentage. 1%. Yeah.
02:54:23
Speaker
I don't know. I got more of a chance of a **** 747 landing on my head when I walk out the door in the morning. I can win the lottery. I couldn't walk and I love mountain climbing and yeah, I was going to say you were you're into you're into that because I remember when you guys first got out west, you were doing a lot of that. Oh my god. Dude, I actually I love to walk. Don't get me wrong. I love to walk. You get the chance one day, man. I just no, I'm not. No, I'm not going to do it.
02:54:53
Speaker
The problem with climbing Everest for me is it costs between 32,000 and $60,000 just to get the permits and hire a Sherpa. Yeah, but I mean, you literally just said the other night that you just closed the deal that you're going to get like 1.8 billion from. If I close it, it's not close. Yeah, I mean, that's like that's like chump change, man. My problem is, is the coal. I'm very good at this. How high is that?
02:55:23
Speaker
Fucking way higher than I want to go. It's above a two story building. I'm out. I don't even like going that high. Holy shit. Fuck that. Twenty nine thousand feet. Yeah, I'm good. Good. Yeah. Like Connor said, you're about to be a billionaire. No, you misspelled it. It's not million with an M. It's billion with a B. If I close out Walmart deal.
02:55:56
Speaker
I'm just saying, I know. I don't think I would climb it because of the cold. The Heights doesn't bother me. I mean, it's not my favorite thing. Nope. No, I don't do. No, I don't do. It's a simple answer. I'm going to get you to climb an eight foot ladder. I get up on eight foot ladders all the time. 10 foot ladder. So I don't like it. And you know, but I do it, but I, you know, again, my max is a one story house. Really?
02:56:26
Speaker
Don't add a nightmare the other night about my new building that I'm in. Not that I'll ever be in the, on the roof. It's an eight story building and I had a nightmare about it the other night. Dude, my, my, one of my coworkers, she just rented an apartment on the 32nd floor and she sent a video like before she had moved in, this is the apartment I'm getting and you know, there's nothing in there. And she goes out to the balcony and she's standing on the balcony and I was like, no, no, no, I'm done watching. I can't.
02:56:56
Speaker
Uh, I got vertigo watching the video. I do not like heights like that. And, you know, ever since obviously higher, but the difference is you're, you're, it's not like you're, it's not, it's steep. Yes. But it's not, it's not like climbing a ladder. There are parts that are steep, but I mean, they, they have places where you can camp at shit. I thought.
02:57:30
Speaker
Apparently, yeah, like the what I found crazy is that if you die up there They leave you They don't bring your ass back down That would be my love Yeah, no, I just
02:58:00
Speaker
And the cold, just looking at the pictures of Everest, just ugh, gross. These guys are bundled up like you fucking read about. And I'm like, yeah, you know what? I'm out right there. I don't mind climbing a mountain, but it needs to be warm. I have 100 photos and none of them do the real thing. And I agree. I'm sure it's magnificent and beautiful and all that shit.
02:58:28
Speaker
But, you know, that's why the good Lord invented video. Because, you know, you just get one of those, what is it, the Oculus? We can feel 3D environment, baby. You climate, take video, we'll take your word on how good it is. Yeah, I mean, you know, like, we have a very large,
02:58:58
Speaker
We have skyscrapers and whatnot, I guess you'd call them skyscrapers, very large buildings in Columbus. Years ago, there was a very well-known musician, guitar player, who had a penthouse on the 25th or 26th floor of a building. And we did several moves in and out of his penthouse.
02:59:21
Speaker
Not a fan of the view. You know what? That's actually, that's actually me. At the end of the penthouse and being like up against the wall, looking out the window, I was happy and content. But if I got too close to a window, knowing damn well, nothing was going to happen. I still got that queasiness, that anxiousness, you know. Fuck that. That's right there. A reason not to go.
02:59:50
Speaker
I don't like this, but let me know. Fuck that. Fuck the views. Yeah, fuck that view. I'm going to get a view by it. I hope one day you are able to do that for you personally. I hope you achieve that feat. And we'll show the pictures on the show. That's about as far as we'll go. It's an awful last spot. I climbed a genuine rock slide. I slid about 20 feet down and stopped about three feet.
03:00:18
Speaker
as Jeff says. That's a reason not to go right there. You tell me a story like that. I'm out. I'm out. I'll climb. I'll climb a grassy knoll. You know, I'll take my chances with the meth head crack or on the corner on on a two for Tuesday before I'm climbing a mountain. I'm just saying I agree. I'm out. I just.
03:00:48
Speaker
But, but you were talking about skyscrapers, skyscrapers. You're also talking to a guy who has openly admitted to the fact that they're giants in Seattle. I'm going to fight one. It's a very well-known fact that I have, I have challenged an entire country of Canada and they back down and we signed a peace treaty. I've made it very clear that I plan on taking out the entire state of Texas. I plan on fighting a kangaroo and I want to fight a black bear. And if all possible, when we go, when Nikki and I go get married in New Orleans,
03:01:17
Speaker
I'm going to boop an alligator on its snoot. How many things in life scare me? However, heights terrify me. Heights terrify me. Like skyscrapers freak me out more than a mountain because
03:01:41
Speaker
like elevators that go up that high, fuck that, you know, cable. I saw speed that fucking cable snap or fuck. Yeah. But, you know, the great thing about elevators and going up like 25, 35 floors or whatever, I'm in a box. So I can't see it. I agree. But if the cable snaps, it's a well known fact that as long as you jump right before I think
03:02:08
Speaker
I know this, Jeff. It's hyperboly. It's satire. It's comedy. I know. I actually read something the other day that you're supposed to lay down on the floor.
03:02:21
Speaker
Yeah. Your entire body just explodes and liquefies. It makes it easy for cleanup. Just bring a shop back in a wet back in and just cross over the drain. Yeah. That way you go through the drain. We don't. Yeah. You laid out flat. That way you liquefy on impact and then they can put your wet back in and splurp you all up.
03:02:47
Speaker
But my other thing is like skyscraper, New York, I might go up skyscraper in California. I'm out earthquakes and shit. I'm out. Fuck that. Oh, you have no control on a mountain either. I got a buddy of mine who is a tower guy. Yeah.
03:03:09
Speaker
Dude, this motherfucker gets some kind of sick twisted pleasure. He hasn't done it in a while. Thank God. And I hope he doesn't listen to the podcast and and get the crazy idea in his head again. But he would send me videos from him at the very top of a tower like hanging off the side. You know, he's all he's all harnessed in and he'd be hanging off the side and he'd send me a video like 360. I'm like, bro, you know what that fucking does to me. He's like, why do you think I send it to you? I can't handle it. I'm guys are nuts, man.
03:03:39
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It makes sense. It makes sense. It's it's kind of like it's kind of like being in a car when I'm driving. You know, I feel like I have 100% total back. Fuck that shit. I'm out. You know, you know, but if I'm riding with somebody, you know, sometimes people make me uncomfortable when I ride with them because I don't have that control that I feel that I have when I'm behind the wheel totally makes sense, Connor.
Fear of Heights & Reckless Adventures
03:04:09
Speaker
What's going on, Herc? I still don't know what that fucking emoji is that you're always dropping. Is it somebody petting a dog? Yeah, it is. OK, it's like putting a little Jack Russell Terrier. Yeah. Yeah. OK, what's going on, Herc? We figured out your emoji. You're going to have to know that. Have you seen those idiots that do parkour on these buildings? I took it down.
03:04:34
Speaker
Yes. Have you seen the idiots that go on top of these skyscrapers and shit and hang off the side and then let go? Because they got the parachutes. Yeah. Base jumping. I could bungee jumping. However. Still had to be pushed. I didn't start ever. Still had to be pushed. However, if I was not afraid of heights, you know what I would love to do? What's that? I would love to get a squirrel suit.
03:05:04
Speaker
and jump off of a building. That does look like fun. That looks like a lot of fun. If I was not afraid of heights, I would 100% in a million years jump off of a building with the squirrel suit on. This motherfucker. This guy illegally climbed the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. On the outside. Yeah. He's in like slippers, man.
03:05:33
Speaker
He's in like fucking Jordan's and he's like pictures of videos like that. This is how real my fear of heights is. Well, the first time I watched the Spider-Man movie, right? Like the first Tobey Maguire Spider-Man. And you know, actually gets his powers and he's figured out how to and he's like he's swinging and they just show like a third person view. You're a first person view. Do that shit had me so fucked up, man. I was like, no.
03:06:02
Speaker
No, no. Have you seen the guys that paint the. I just seen a video. No, he paints the bridge in San Francisco, the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, so I just seen a video the other day when I was scrolling. I can't remember who was on reels or if it was TikTok or what it was.
03:06:23
Speaker
this cat was painting a one of them giant tall type skyscraper buildings and he's literally just he's he's he's got like a swing set seat in ropes and he's a player and he's just spraying along and then he spins in his seat like he does a 360 spin and he shows down and then he shows up and he's already done like ten floors and there's like forty fours floors below him and he's just without a
03:06:52
Speaker
There's a hotel here. It's only like five or six stories high, but the front is all tile. And it and it it's like a mosaic. And it says the name of the hotel. They have guys doing that to clean those tiles. And I've seen them do it. I'm like. There's like the window. Excuse me. It's like window cleaners, man. No, I'm out. I'm good.
03:07:22
Speaker
yeah look at this asshole this is this is guy painting painting the Golden Gate Bridge I I don't know but well okay I don't see a strap I don't see anything fuck that literally dry humping the bridge I'm good bridging getting painted y'all whatever color it turns it's turning some bitch could go from red to fucking
03:07:49
Speaker
yellow polka dots. I ain't fixing that shit. You can't pay me enough. I'm out, man. I'm out when it comes to heights. Bottom line, there's no questions about it. There's no discussion to be had. There's no convincing me otherwise. I wonder what I wonder what they pay. I'm out.
Bridge Painting Jobs & Long Bridge Anxiety
03:08:10
Speaker
Look at this asshole.
03:08:12
Speaker
a lot because it's hazard pay. It's, it's a lot of money. Well, you know, what's crazy is, is they only have like five or six guys that do it. And by the time they finished, they have to go back to the beginning and start again. Well, you know, there's guys that change the light bulbs out on the top of skyscrapers and shit like that. They work like three months a year. Yeah. If that, that's how good they get paid.
03:08:39
Speaker
again no no if it has anything to do with that you're not convincing me i'm done i'm out i'm just trying to see how much they get paid i'm out i don't want nothing to do i don't do anything to convince me otherwise that's bullshit dude they only get 50 bucks an hour
03:09:04
Speaker
Average Golden Gate Bridge, Highway Transportation Division, painter hourly wage in the United States is approximately $49 an hour, which is 164% above the national average. Yeah, but calculate the hours that it takes to paint the Golden Gate Bridge. They're not doing that. They're not doing that in a week. Right. It's all they do. It's all they do.
03:09:32
Speaker
They're literally paint brushes. Yeah. That's all they do. I mean, it can take them two years to paint a bridge. Well, how long does it take? Actually, there it is. How long does it take to paint the golden grid? It takes four years. Four years.
03:10:02
Speaker
And then you start over job security, my friend, you ain't shit. It's a hundred and $4,000 a year before taxes. Yeah. At $50 an hour for 40 hour work week, not working 40 hour work weeks. They got lots of overtime, stuff like that.
03:10:26
Speaker
So, yeah, they're making. Literally, do you think those guys literally just like, fuck it? I'm not going to do shit today. I'm just going to sit down and smoke. Play on my phone, masturbate. I think of that story. And what'd you do today? Work a fucking. I wonder how many worked on cars while it was raining. Wait, what?
03:10:54
Speaker
I was on top of the Golden State Bridge and I jerked off like five or six times. Oh, here's the kicker. They do have to. So the first the cables are washed and the old paint removed. Then the cables are lightly sanded before two coats of electric elastic paint are applied. Finally, the acrylic coat is painted on. Yeah. So like I said, that's they're making six figures a year.
03:11:27
Speaker
Yeah. I'm good. He's an easy six figures a year. You know, not, not that's easy work or anything. I'm just saying like, you know, easy as in all I got to do is show up and actually do their job. Well, yeah. I mean, no, I'm just saying like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You just show up. But I mean, also those are, that's, those guys have no fear of heights. That's what they like to do. I mean, do you know what it costs to paint the golden gate bridge? Oh, probably like
03:11:59
Speaker
You're wrong. 70 million. 60. 60 million. 40 painters at any given time. So it takes four years to paint it with 40 painters. So you're paying 40 painters, at least a hundred, a hundred thousand a year. After taxes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what is, what is that? What is that? 30%. So, so let's call it let's a hundred.
03:12:30
Speaker
grand, let's say, what would you say was 150 a year? Hold on, 150 a year. Back. Times 40. $6 million in payroll alone. Yeah, I was gonna say. And the rest is in paint and sandpaper, rollers.
03:13:01
Speaker
I'll paint it. I can do I can do the whole thing for 30 million, I'm sure. Spray paint, baby. Shit. You know what I'll do? I'll I'll be on the ground supervising. I'll paint the lines on the road. I'll I'll I'll be the site supervisor, the guy whose feet never leaves the ground and makes $75 an hour. Yeah, exactly.
03:13:32
Speaker
Holy shit, five to 10,000 gallons of paint are used to repaint the Golden Gate Bridge. That's a big gap. Here's the thing. Think about all the, you know, the Golden State Bridge is a massive bridge. It's like, it's what? Top five largest bridges in the world. It's not even that large. I've been there. It's not that large. I mean, it's not small by any means. But think about it. I mean, think, you know, like,
03:14:02
Speaker
We had the Ravenel Bridge in Charleston. We had the Wando Bridge in Charleston. Florida's got bridges out the ass. Pittsburgh has more goddamn bridges than any place on the planet. It's 1.7 miles in length. So it's not small by any means now. So I mean. You know, God, I can't they call.
03:14:31
Speaker
Pittsburgh, like bridge city, baby bridges. Do they have in Pittsburgh? Sounds like a Jeff number. She said some insane amount, like 600 and some odd bridges now greater. They're not as big, but I mean, these are bridges that they paint like yellow for Pittsburgh colors, Steelers colors and whatnot. So, I mean, there's a, there's, I mean,
03:15:01
Speaker
There's no shortage of work in bridge painting and we got the bridge that connects. Well, you got the longest image in the world. You know, they go across the Ohio River. And from Ohio to West Virginia from Cincinnati to. From Cincinnati to Kentucky from from Ohio to PA or I'm sorry from. There's there's multiple bridges that from Ohio to West Virginia, but. Yeah, now with your fear of heights. Would crossing along bridge bother you?
03:15:31
Speaker
uh dependent upon the bridge so like the first time i ever went to charleston the ravenel bridge was literally like two lanes and it was a suspension bridge um and you i mean like literally the side of the bridge was here the car beside you was here and it was just it was insane now the ravenel bridge is like
03:15:57
Speaker
lanes on both sides. I love going across separate. I don't bridges, bridges for the most part don't bother me. Okay. I love going across bridges. I love looking out at the water. Okay. So, so how long is that bridge? Yeah. How long does it take to get across? Oh, I don't know. A few minutes. How long is the Ravenel bridge from Charleston to Mount Pleasant? 13,200 feet.
03:16:27
Speaker
According to Wikipedia, the total length of the structure is 13,200 feet, with the main span stretching 1,546 feet between the towers.
03:16:57
Speaker
No, actually, I, you know, the original bridge. And if you ever get the, actually, hold on a second. Let me see if I can find it real quick. Yeah. But go ahead. What were you going to say? So the two and a half miles doesn't bother you. No. Would a longer bridge bother you? No, I mean, I guess it would just depend on the bridge. Well, the longest bridge in the world. You want to guess how long it is to drive across it? How long is it?
03:17:27
Speaker
102.4 miles. Jesus Christ. Right? Now, luckily, we don't have to worry about it. That's what I need to check. Is the dang yai brand a bridge? Let's see height. Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm out just by looking at the picture.
03:17:57
Speaker
Well, I don't have my screen pulled up. So hold on one second. It's a hundred feet off the ground. Oh, that was a hundred feet isn't bad at all. But hold on. So I want to see this bridge. If you have it pulled up. Yeah, go ahead. I got this. Let me see it. Hold on. I'm going to, I'm going to save in the image now. This, this is kind of a, uh,
03:18:28
Speaker
I don't know. Cause there's, there's like, there's like that. There's like that one. Uh, it's like a inter coastal freeway or, Oh yeah. No, that wouldn't be too bad. That'd be actually pretty cool. I think that'd be fun. So yeah, I was going to say, that's kind of like what I was going to say. There's one, there's one bridge is here in the States. It's like an air coastal bridge or something like that, or a roadway. It's not a bridge. It's a roadway. And it's, and it does like that. But here, check this out, dude. This was the original, uh,
03:18:58
Speaker
Cooper River Bridge. This is down in Charleston. It's about a three minute video. This is the original old Cooper Bridge down in Charleston. Bring that up there. Go ahead and give me the screen. Let me go full screen here. That really what you're going to want to go to the full screen. There we go. Full screen. Check this out.
03:19:27
Speaker
This is old. This is this is old ass like somebody had a camcorder. I don't even know this one a cell phone like 95 Bridge this is leading up to the bridge. I believe they know what side are they on? I Think on the Charleston side, so Fast forward here we go. So it was actually two bridges
03:19:56
Speaker
So this is the Charleston side that they're on now, I believe. There's a few bridges. There's two planes. Look at that, dude. You are literally on the side of the bridge. That's it. The first time I went down there, she scared the bawkin out of me. So it's pretty sure they're coming from the Charleston side. That's the new side, the new part of the bridge because they rebuilt the bridge. No, no, no.
03:20:25
Speaker
this is this is all the old bridge this is they they didn't even they didn't even have the new bridge you know but over here this is this is the old bridge right yeah so so this is all the old bridge this is way before they even had the concept of the new bridge um i mean you can google ravenel bridge or cooper look at that this is the new place they are look at that yeah that's the new oh it's gorgeous
03:20:56
Speaker
Beautiful, dude. Yeah, like yeah, but it's not traffic, you know, you're not asking people like going past you. No, but it's traffic where you are. And on either side of the bridge, I mean, you see there's like nothing there. The new bridge is one big bridge. It's all one big bridge. Looks like that. And it's like it's like, dude, it's fucking beautiful. There's like four lanes of traffic.
03:21:24
Speaker
on both sides. And if you pull up the picture of the bridge, see, they can look like they came down off the bridge, but I didn't. I got to go. Oh, no, no. Yeah. Not today, bitch. Not today. This is the new one. That's a sky view of the new one. So, yeah, you can see four lanes each side.
03:21:55
Speaker
So if you pull that up, I don't know what your picture you had that you pulled up. OK, so so not only do you have four lanes on either side, but on the on the on the on both left and right side, mainly, well, mainly the. If you're looking at this picture on the right side, there's a huge fucking walking path, bike riding path. Oh, OK. It's probably like
03:22:24
Speaker
10, 15 feet wide. Oh, nice. So you're, you know, you can go across that bridge now and you can overlook and see, you know, depending upon which way you're throwing from, if you're coming from the Charleston side, you're out, you're looking across out of the ocean, you can see Fort Sumner, you can see, um, the coastline. Well, here's my question. So, so would you run it?
03:22:53
Speaker
and the reason why I have because apparently every year every year they do they do a Cooper Ridge run. Cooper Bridge run and it looks like this. It's not apparently they do that and yeah, I would absolutely run it or walk it or whatever. I definitely walk it. I wouldn't run it. I would run it. years and years ago and shout out to Charleston for this because
03:23:22
Speaker
or race relations have not always been the best when police officer in North Charleston shot. Leave my opinions out of it, but shot a criminal in the back white officer black criminal. In all hell broke loose. I gotta I gotta shout out Charleston. This is one of the many, many, many reasons I love. I love that city and I and I call it home.
03:23:50
Speaker
instead of everybody burning Charleston now and smashing shit up. You know what they did as a community? They came to fucking gather and they wrap everybody came together and did everything peacefully. Not only that, but this is also a city again in the South that has the, that has the NC double AC or the, it was an NC double ACP, whatever it is. They have banned Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson from Charleston.
03:24:20
Speaker
good because they're race beaters and everything else. So they didn't hold that when that whole thing went down, the city came together as a whole that a whole Charleston strong thing and they rallied up on the and then they they marched on the on the on the bridge and it was it was a sight to see man. Nothing all peaceful, no fights, no riots, nothing in Charleston. That's a city in the South y'all. That's that's impressive. That's a city in the South that was deep rooted
03:24:51
Speaker
in their Southern ways. That's the city in the South that Charleston or South Carolina was the first state to succeed from the Union during the Civil War. The first shots of the Civil War were fired from Fort Sumner. Exactly.
Charleston's Community Solidarity & Personal Anxiety Stories
03:25:08
Speaker
But that bridge is amazing. And I would have, I would have worked with done that Cooper bridge run, uh, to be honest with you, I, I love, I love driving across that bridge. Like I said, if you're coming from the Charleston side, you get to see something or you get to see the water. You know, you, you, you get to see the coastline for Mount Pleasant, the USS York town sits right there on the other side of the bridge.
03:25:29
Speaker
If you come out pleasant, you get to see the Charleston Harbor, the everything Charleston. If you look out to, regardless of which way you're going, if you look out to the left, when you're going across the bridge, you get to see the Wando bridge and all the cargo ships and everything like that. It's, it's, it's absolutely beautiful. And if you get the chance to go across that bitch at sunset or sunrise, Oh my God. Holy worth it.
03:25:56
Speaker
Oh my God. Now, with your fear of heights, you said walking across the bridge, not a problem. Would you walk across this glass bridge in? No, if it's that glass bridge, no. That would be me. That would be me. Yeah, I think I would have a heart attack. They also have like, there's another walkway. It's called the glass pedestrian bridge.
03:26:26
Speaker
And this thing freaks me out. I think I would do it, but I would have to be four or five Jack Daniels deep because it's kind of scary.
03:26:48
Speaker
I say you're pissing too darn loud, boy. It's late at night and you're pissing right in the center of the bowl like you're frying chicken in there. You got a piss on the side, boy. Make it a stealth mission. You're causing a whole ruckus pissing like that, boy. So this is the glass walkway, Chris, when you get back. And I got a picture of what it looks like from above.
03:27:29
Speaker
Susie's done talking. I'm gonna load the other picture So Hey Jeff have you seen I think it's in China. Oh
03:27:42
Speaker
But you know, there's a lot of places that have those glass bridges, but I think the main one is in China. But if you see where they've incorporated like a screen and it cracks. Yeah, I'm out. Well, this is the glass walkway also in China. There's so many reasons why I'm out. This is the same bridge.
03:28:09
Speaker
But from the sky view, and I know you're already going to say no, but would you walk across this? Just look at that picture is seriously giving me anxiety, dude, right? You know, I'm I don't mind a bridge that my heart dropped, man, and my stomach got queasy. I think my fear of heights is it is it is I am deathly afraid of heights, man.
03:28:38
Speaker
Well, they have they have that place in Chicago actually Grand Canyon's got a glass walkway There's one there's one down in Chattanooga There's a In in I believe it's in the Sears tower was formerly Sears tower. They have that glass It's they they in the observatory area where you can go up to the top floor and look out They actually have a glass box
03:29:09
Speaker
that you can step into and you're literally suspended above the city that one freaks me out well they have um in pittsburgh baby what is that called that lift the lift in pia and pittsburgh um so they got this thing in pittsburgh
03:29:32
Speaker
It's called the incline and it goes, I wouldn't even call it a mountain. I guess it's kind of a mountain, but it goes up the side of this route. Dude, the most at night, I've seen the pictures from the top of it and stuff like that at night. Schitzberg's a shithole. Let's be honest. But at night, dude, the pictures from the incline of downtown Pittsburgh and everything like that with the bridges, the buildings lit up, dude, it is fucking gorgeous any time of the year.
03:30:00
Speaker
It is fucking gorgeous. And like, would you go up that? I'm like, I know. I'm sorry. I just I can't. Sears Tower is now called the Willis Tower. This is the observatory box. Connor said they still know. And this is what it looks like when you look down. Yeah, no, no. Oh, I am out. I am out. I'm done. Why are we talking about it? Why are we doing this?
03:30:30
Speaker
because I like to make you cringe. It's funny. I'm cringing. Connor suggests I still have it, but I'd rather play Russian. I'm with Connor. Connor, I am with you, bro. That's crazy, bitch. Loser has to go in the box. I'll tell you what. Or sorry, winner has to go in the box. I would go in the box. I would be very scared, but I would go in the box. But I wouldn't do what this chick does. Look at this. I know.
03:31:00
Speaker
Your anxiety, but look at this this bitch Ain't no way in hell. I'm jumping cuz my luck is I'm gonna jump and I'm gonna go through the glass. Yeah. Oh I Would throw up I want I wonder how many people oh Fuck So the Willis Tower
03:31:30
Speaker
Holy shit. Apparently, and I have to, I have no article, but the glass in that observatory box has been cracked. I'm definitely out. That's what Connor said. Jump, jump. You are.
03:31:58
Speaker
It's on the 103rd floor. If you get me up to the 103rd floor, I'm going to throw you off the building, number one. The only thing 100, anything over 100 I want to do is miles an hour when I'm driving. But even then. This is. 133. It's out.
03:32:28
Speaker
Hey, it's 350 feet up in the floor cracks a town down. Yeah. Yeah. You'll be down. All right. terminal velocity buildings.
03:32:43
Speaker
Look at how much the buildings move at the top of these. They do. They sway. Even, yeah, even, even like I said, at 25, 26 stories, you're standing in a penthouse and I'm, and I'm, and I've literally, I've done this. I'm standing in a penthouse. I think I can't remember. It was 25th or 26th floor in a building. And as we're standing there, I'm like, I asked, I, you know, I look over at my partner and apparently I said it louder than I thought I did.
03:33:13
Speaker
I said, is it just me or is the building moving? Oh, we were picking up a dining room table. It's below a chandelier, very beautiful chandelier, mind you. And the, um, I dunno, we'll just call him the Alfred of this penthouse. We don't know. He said, no, no, no, the building is moving and we're absolutely feeling it. And that's why you're taking this table to get repaired because that chandelier has fallen on the table.
03:33:44
Speaker
I'm out. And I looked at my partner and I said, bro, he said, we're fine. Glick. And I said, we're fine. My ass. The building is literally moving. I'm out. It was like, it was just like, and then the crazy part about it was after we did that first move, we became their preferred movers of choice. So they always used our company and they always requested us. And I'm like,
03:34:11
Speaker
Yo, my partner, dude, he was like, it was like, look, we gotta get you some anxiety pills. We gotta get you some something. I'm like, dude, look, I'm cool, man. Elevator ride. I'm cool with all that. I'm cool with the view when I'm by the front door and I'm not by the windows, but she got me fucked up. We are literally filling the building.
03:34:34
Speaker
shift with the wind and you know how much stronger the wind is up there than it is on the ground? A lot. And at the winds blowing southeast, the buildings moving southeast and if it's moving northwest, the buildings are moving northwest. The building moves where the wind... One of the conversations that we're in in depth here at this house with is this view. This is the view from the top of the Eiffel Tower and
03:35:03
Speaker
Oh, you're fine. I have to check it out. I'll be right back. I'm going to go change my boxers. I got to go change my underoos, if you will. And I'm I'm mildly petrified of climbing to the top of it. I hate whoever started this conversation, by the way, Connor. No, Connor. No, you were asking us. Connor with Everest.
03:35:29
Speaker
I heard you guys do realize so this is this is me being real. I'm gonna have fucking nightmares about heights tonight I hope you guys know that good I didn't sleep at all last night because I got other shit on my mind now I'm not gonna I was like man but coming I'm gonna do the show tonight. I'm gonna we'll have a few beers I'm gonna vent a little bit not about anything that's going on. Just just have fun and do the show I'm gonna get a good night crest, you know Nope. No, I'm gonna have a whole nother night disrupted because of you fucking assholes
03:35:59
Speaker
No, Jeff brought up Everest. I don't think so. You know what? I think you're probably right, Connor. He said, dude, I was really on your side. I was talking about Ulysses. Yeah, Nikki said no when I asked her about it. She just said no. I was like, OK. Thanks, guys.
03:36:32
Speaker
I talked about reading a 900 page book. He said, I want to Clive Edwards, which is more likely. Oh. Fucking Connie. Yeah, that's the one thing I'm terrified about. Terrified about moving to Paris. Somebody's going to make me climb the Eiffel Tower.
03:37:02
Speaker
Fuck you, Brian. If you're watching, fuck you, Brian. Fuck you, Brian. I just got your text. Your motherfucker just sent me a text message of a gift of people skydiving. Yeah. Well, I've skydived, but I still had to be pushed out of the plane and I came here to cry the whole way down.
03:37:24
Speaker
I'm not a goddamn wookie, you Mexican. You're going to be riding the catapult or the trebuchet or whatever it's called. By the way, there's, there is a difference. Between what? The trebuchet and the catapult. I never said there wasn't. Yes, you did.
03:37:50
Speaker
The catapult is not a slingshot. That's what you said. Slingshot. No. You said it's the same thing. I said a slingshot and a travesty is the same goddamn thing. Listen to the tape. I'm throwing a red flag and I'm challenging the player. Good reviewer, Jeffrey. I said a slingshot is the same thing. Oh.
03:38:19
Speaker
I don't know. Well, apparently. That's good, but like, I want to bring back the A-Team conversation. Like, Chris, have this big a bit of milk. We're going up the Sears Tower. Oh, I love milk. He wakes up and we got him on top of the Sears Tower.
03:38:52
Speaker
whoa no way oh it's not that high i i already know chris's answer for this but apparently first and foremost that's fucked up because i do love milk
03:39:09
Speaker
Yeah. I'm not, I'm not, I don't want to do a static line jump. I don't even know what that is. I don't want to repel. I don't want to skydive. Jump is where you swing. It's that giant swing. Yeah. I don't see those videos where the guy he's sitting in the chair and he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's the static line jump. It's a giant swing basically.
03:39:36
Speaker
I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to climb a mountain. I don't want to get in your box at 103,003. Golden state bridge. I don't want to zip line. I don't want to do anything that involves heights. And I tell you what, they have zip lines here. I fucking love them. I'll quote a line from the planets of the apes. You can have this belt when you pray for my cold, dead fingers, because I guarantee you.
03:40:07
Speaker
I'm whooping somebody's ass and that beat down that I'm gonna put on you. You don't want to have the belt just because you stayed in a box at 100. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm like, hey, Chris, look, here's a beer. And next thing you know, you're on top of the Eiffel Tower. No, it's not that easy. Jordan, here's Chris. I'm trying some of this milk. Ooh, milk. I love milk.
03:40:30
Speaker
Yeah. Which one? Which one of you pussies are going to carry my big ass? Oh, between me, Connie and Brian, we can get these fucking crippled. He can carry your feet. He can't carry shit. He can't carry his own feet. They do have an elevator. They have an elevator in the Apple Tower. He can't even carry his own feet. How is he going to carry my feet? I'm just saying, a dolly, the elevator, and we don't have a life in my ass. A hundred percent.
03:41:00
Speaker
Uh, no, static line jump as you jump out of the plane. That's what the airborne. Yeah. It's literally the plane pulls your ripcord. And again, I reiterate the fact, remember when we had the conversation about being in the San asylum and they tried to sedate me and I'm like, Oh, this is tasty. Can you get, can I get some more? You had me a glass of milk with a horse tranquilizer. And I'm like, that was a tasty glass of milk. Can I get some chocolate chip cookies?
03:41:29
Speaker
and another one and all of you are standing and all of you are left standing and staring at me going, what the fuck do we gotta do to put this big monster to sleep? We'll just get one of the, we'll, we'll just do a, a, a, the animal tranquilizer. And uh, and, and, and, and old school and they're trying to say, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to buy an animal tranquilizer.
03:41:58
Speaker
it with three these take down rhinos with three rhino rhino tranx and I'm still sitting there enjoying life drinking a beer like the hell and I'm with three more. There's a reason we bought extra boys. Take one out of my neck. I should try this. This is awesome. What about that Seattle Space Needle with the restaurant on top? No, Jeff.
03:42:29
Speaker
You wouldn't go on that revolving space needle moves. I'm not going on the fucking crazy thing in Vegas. I'm not going. I'm not going to the arches in St. Louis. Oh, no, those amount. Those freaked me out. Yeah, no, no, because I don't know. I don't understand how the elevators work in that thing. Do they just turn upside down or is there two? I don't hear it. I'm not going to find out. Yeah, I'm good. But Connor said just having an ambulance on standby.
03:42:58
Speaker
Everybody's gonna need me. I guarantee you every one of you when I come to do not even your crippled ass No, here's the here's the beauty once we get you on top You have to get yourself down. Oh I'm coming down. Trust me. Yeah, why you sit there paralyzed for three hours. We got time to get the fuck out of the country Well, I'm coming down. Trust me I'm coming down
03:43:23
Speaker
terminal velocity, baby. A lot faster than you think, too. A lot faster than you think. I just want to watch you cry like a little kid with his kidney. Give me the fuck off this fucking thing. Rolled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth. This is bullshit. It'll be bad. It'll be bad. I promise you it'll be bad, but that
03:43:49
Speaker
that that that will to kill every one of you involved will be a lot stronger than my fear.
03:44:00
Speaker
You guys are going to get off the elevator and I'm going to be standing there waiting. You're going to be like, Oh, I'm about to fuck somebody up. And just so you know, as soon as this adrenaline wears off, I'm going to be in the fetal position. You know, the beauty of that is I, I only have to outrun Brian and Connie. Let's be honest. I don't have to outrun you. I have to outrun them.
03:44:24
Speaker
So all the elevator ride down, I'm tying their shoelaces together. You know, make sure my shoes are nice and tight, ready to go. I'm in that the flash position as the doors open. Let's go. Again, my, my will and determination to kill you sons of bitches.
03:44:45
Speaker
Hey, you ain't outrun the, you ain't outrunning the Smith and Wesson nine millimeter. I'm going to shoot you in the lake. I got my, my motorcycle waiting. So I jump on, be like, Oh, what's the name of that fucking movie torque? Where he tried to just add that motorcycle so fast. I'll outrun you on a downhill bitch. I have a wheelchair. Yeah.
03:45:10
Speaker
I don't know. Y'all think what they did to Ricky and and boys in the hood was bad. Ricky. All three of you bitches running off the elevator. Not even to kill. I'm just aiming. In 2017, they had, you could zip line off the Eiffel Tower. Why? No. No. You zip. Believe it or not, as
03:45:51
Speaker
I'm going to get you on a zip line again. again. Suck my dick and eat my **** host. Welcome to suck my dick and eat my **** word. Jeff Connor and Brian all do exactly what the title says.
03:46:11
Speaker
I'm just saying. Once you die from the heart attack of being up that high, we're golden. And then we, as you're dying, we look at you go, look at me. I'm the champion now.
03:46:31
Speaker
And so my ghost comes back. And we've all seen. I am afraid no ghost my ass. We've all seen 13 ghosts. Those ghosts. That movie fucking scared the shit out of me, dude. That's a great movie, man. It is a great movie, but holy crap. Out of all the ghosts movies and stuff like that, they don't really scare me. I'm just like, yeah, this is stupid. That movie freaked me the fuck out. I'm coming back. I'm pissed off. I'm angry.
03:46:59
Speaker
and I'm mad as hell. Fucking. And a and a and a fucking bear and a kangaroo ready to fight you. So, you have and we'll blame it on them and I'm going through them. Yeah. Yeah. That's the last time you would have put a black bear to kangaroo in front of me. I don't think Chris could get through cliffhanger. Let's be honest. No, I love cliffhanger. It's a great movie. It was a great video game too. You remember the video game? No.
03:47:29
Speaker
Yeah, it was a great video game. Yeah, they made a video game out of it. I love that. I love Cliffhanger. It's a great movie. It was a good movie. It cost a fortune to beat this place. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I mean... I don't know. You okay there, mama? Yeah, why? Huh? Yeah, why? Oh, he like swung the door open and... He just kicks it open. Like, I'm the boss now, motherfucker.
03:48:15
Speaker
If we get you on top of the Eiffel Tower on top of a big tall building, I got Chris on top of a building.
03:48:27
Speaker
Will you please explain to this asshole that they are not getting me on top of a building, a mountain, an airplane, a zipline, a bungee jumper? And I can't do it. You can't do it. No, I told you that I have the simple solution. We're going to do the 18 thing. Look, Chris, a glass of milk. And then he wakes up on top of the building. It's not going to happen. They also think it's going to be so crippling that it will overpower my urge to kill them.
03:48:58
Speaker
Yeah, same. Yes, I'll be feared. I will be scared to death. And yes, I will end up in the fetal position crying and shaking, but it'll be after I kill you. You know what? Totally worth it. I'm just saying. Hashtag. And I'm not going to and I'm not going to kill you fast. I'm going to put you in some kind of like solid jigsaw type shit.
03:49:33
Speaker
I know that's what I'm saying like that's what the that's what Jeff doesn't understand my fear of heights is Is like yeah, see he says it's not that bad Like what so you won't even go on like a roller coaster
03:49:56
Speaker
We've had this discussion. I don't ride roller coasters, man. You're a giant pussy. Okay. Well, come and say it to my face. I will. I have. Again, I have challenged an entire. I have made an entire fucking country back down. Yeah.
03:50:20
Speaker
I have I have too much, sir. I have I have openly challenged the entire state of Texas. I have said that I will pick anger's ass. I said I will find a grizzly bear. I said Joe Rogan ain't nothing but a bitch. I think I'm going to group an alligator on its stoop. Would you do any of those things, Jeffrey? No, but I'll climb the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, you're a big old bitch. You pussy. I'm not stupid. You're a pussy.
03:50:50
Speaker
Fighting an animal is stupid. Climbing up to see a majestic view is worth it. I don't want to be on top of a mountain. You should come climb with me, Chris. I'll take you. I don't want to be on top of a mountain. I know that views are beautiful. They're gorgeous, but I don't want to. That's why it's just cheaper to buy an Oculus. Let's be honest. I don't want to be up there. I don't want to even, I don't even want to pretend it an Oculus.
03:51:17
Speaker
Really? No, dude. Like my fear of heights is legit. I am absolute. I am not afraid. Okay. Let's get to the root of it. What are you afraid of? I don't know. I'm not afraid of anything in this life. I'm afraid of death. I'm not afraid of anything in this life.
03:51:37
Speaker
And I don't know why I've never had You know, nothing's ever happened I've never fallen off a cliff or a roof or a mountain or had a bad experience on a plane or anything like that I'm just terrified of being on a plane there lies a problem. I'm just saying no I don't fear that is the only thing I fear in this life is heights and I'm terrified of them
03:52:06
Speaker
With like 200 to 1000 feet, straight drops, fucking scary, but worth it at the top. No, no, it's been down because it got dark. I'm out the building, like the Eiffel tower. I'm okay with the Sears tower. I'm okay with, with the exception of going out on that box. I'm out the glass walkways. I'm okay with the bound thing. Yeah, I'm good.
03:52:35
Speaker
I've seen 127 hours. I don't need to get out of the mountain. Agreed. I've seen that movie. I don't want to go on a hike, let alone a fucking mountain. I've seen that fucking movie. Yeah. I am. Like I said, I am honestly. Seriously, I'm not afraid of anything other than, you know. I'll stare a fucking lion face to face, knowing damn well that a lion is going to fucking tear me apart if it wants to.
03:53:04
Speaker
So, so you're saying that if my friend Elon Musk offers you a billion dollars, all you got to do is go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower and take a selfie and then come right back down. You're out. I'm still broke. Maybe like up at the top, top where the light is on the, on the observatory tower. I, yeah, I don't, I mean, I just don't think I can do it. It's caged in.
03:53:33
Speaker
It is, it is a good five feet. I mean, you have to go to the edge, but you know, you can't fall off. Yeah. It's caged in. Yeah. No, I just know I'm gonna stay broke. Shit. No, I won't do buildings. Okay. It's not the, it's not rocket science climbing. It's mountain climbing. It's like a steep height. It's literally it warm at the bottom, freezing as cold. Yeah. Good. Great.
03:54:03
Speaker
But you're still at the top and you're still with the cold dude. I gotta be warm. I don't care about the cold. The cold bothers me. Like I said, I don't know why I can't explain it. I don't, I can't tell you guys why I'm afraid of heights. It's a vertigo thing. It's a vertigo thing. It's just, I'm just afraid of heights. And that's the one fear that I have in this life. And it is what it is. If that makes me a pussy, then I'm a pussy. But this is also a guy who openly, I'm not afraid of anything else.
03:54:32
Speaker
in life or on this planet. No, I get that. I'm just saying. And it's just, I am terrified of fucking heights and I don't know why I'm absolutely fucking crippling, crippling afraid of heights. Now don't get me wrong. Like, I mean, like I used to get up on the roof. We, you know, I used to work for OSU, the med center, and we had, we had a tower that was 13 stories
03:55:00
Speaker
minus the penthouse, which was like our mechanical space and, and like, so it was, it was technically like 14, 15 stories. And I would get up on the roof, but I didn't go anywhere near the edge. Actually, we had a spot out there where at the time we were allowed to smoke at.
03:55:24
Speaker
I, you know what? I was just thinking of that. I don't really have a phobia. Yeah. And it was on the roof and I'd go up there and they had one of the most beautiful views of campus. You know, you, you'd go out there, you know, in the early, early mornings, uh, you know, when it was like the winter time, when it was still dark and you smoke a cigarette and whatever, and it looked over campus and the horseshoe and everything like that. It was gorgeous. It was gorgeous. And I would go up there and smoke, but I never went to the edge.
03:55:55
Speaker
I was just thinking he kept my ass right by the doors. Connie asked me what my phobia is. I don't really think I have one. I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of heights. Bugs don't bother me. I mean, I'm, I'm not, you know,
03:56:12
Speaker
I'm allergic to bees, but I'm not even afraid of bees. Yeah. I, I, I mean, like I said, I'm not going to actively, you know, climb up a fucking tower. He has a phobia, but he's, he's, he's that, that dude. No, no, no. In all seriousness, I can't think of anything off the top of my head that I'm like, Oh, I'm out 100%. Won't even entertain the idea. Like you won't entertain the idea of climbing, you know, going across the glass bridge.
03:56:42
Speaker
I can't think of anything that I wouldn't at least consider. And I'm kind of racking my brain trying to think about it. I can't really think of anything. I mean, I'm not going to actively go climb a mountain, but mainly because physical exhaustion.
03:57:12
Speaker
It makes me exhausted thinking about it. Yeah. Like I'm allergic to bees. Like Macaulay Culkin. In my girl. My girl allergic to bees. And I was a fucking bug guy. Man, I went toe to toe with wasp, hornets. I went toe to toe with them. With them. You're muted. I don't know why.
03:57:39
Speaker
Uh, yeah, then don't fucking the fucking murder hornets that were bigger than this big lighter in my hand. Oh You know what? I'm afraid of bastards Well, I'm afraid I'm afraid of it, but I would smoke I don't shy away from it I'm afraid of of being out in the middle of the ocean on like a small boat like like a two-man John boaters on like that that scares the shit out of but
03:58:06
Speaker
I wouldn't not go out on like a open line. Which wouldn't shine a phobia. Only yours. It was as fucking tiring as hell. I'll say that it hurts. I don't. Yeah, yeah, we had them here a couple of summers ago, man, I got a call about murder hornets, something like that, you know, fucking murder hornets in goddamn Ohio.
03:58:35
Speaker
And I'll have to look for it, but I have pictures of it. They were literally bigger than than a fucking big lighter and everybody knows what a big lighter is. Yeah. Or bigger than that. And my ass was out actively searching for the nest, knowing damn well that they probably would have killed me when I was ready. I was like, all right, let's go, you motherfuckers. I got some shit for that. It's about to rock the fuck out of your world. Let me find your next because I took out three of their little buddies that were buzzing around and
03:59:04
Speaker
I don't want to fucking fight one of them. I actually fucking hit him with a hook. He knocked them down. So, just out of curiosity, I'm looking up phobias. There's a fear of flowers. Uh huh. There's fear for everything, dude. Yeah. Outer space scares the **** out of me. Jeff has a phobia. I'm sure I do. I just can't think of it. Either either he's being cool guy and he won't
03:59:34
Speaker
I don't really know clowns don't bother me. Uh, or confined spaces. Yeah, not really. I mean, I'm not so much, I don't have a phobia of combined spaces, but I'm also at the same time. I'm not wedging my big ass into someplace that I don't agree. Yeah. And like I said, yes, that's a phobia, but I'm not, it's not going to stop me from doing something. Like I've been in addicts and crawl spaces.
04:00:03
Speaker
Nope. Well, Jeff, remember shortly after we started the show when I was working for that local pest control company? Yeah. I posted that video. I think it's on our Instagram. I know it's on our tick tock and I'm literally on the, like I'm underneath this house and my shoulder is shoulders are on the, on the beams under the house and my other shoulders on the ground. And I'm like pinched and I'm underneath this house talking about how my big ass don't belong there. So,
04:00:32
Speaker
I'm going through these phobias. I'm putting in the chat. I'm putting in the chat a phobia. Please tell me what you think this phobia is.
04:00:53
Speaker
The fear of hip, hip-hop, hip-hop anoninuses and mosquitoes. It's the fear of long words. Somebody's got a cruel sense of humor. It's literally the longest one. Fear of rooms, fear of buttons, fear of the color white, fear of tornadoes, hurricanes, fear of children, fear of cooking, large things, the color black, small things, dirt and grime.
04:01:24
Speaker
death and death things, dead things, fear of night, fear of being without your mobile phone, doesn't bother me a bit. Hospitals, the dark, gaining weight, the figure eight. I actually knew what that phobia was because I know Jeff doesn't remember it, but a long, we did a whole thing about it, right? We did a whole thing about phobias and that was one of them. I find that hilarious.
04:01:53
Speaker
Oh, that's just racist, fear of black, fear of white. I know, right? I just thought that myself. I was like, Jesus, I can name a bunch of libtards that think that, um, fear of the moon. I mean, white, I mean, wait, what? Fear of technology, fear of the ocean, fear of hair.
04:02:16
Speaker
fear of thunder, needles, injections, obviously not holes. So the fear of holes, that's what that's what the wife has. It's called trif. Yeah, yeah, yeah. phobia. It's really like, it's got a bunch of holes in it, like sunflower seed. It doesn't, she's not scared of it, but it freaks her the fuck out. sphere of strangers and foreigners. Yeah.
04:02:45
Speaker
The fear of vacuum cleaners. Was that uber phobia? It's a. Zinger phobia, Dyson phobia. Fear of beautiful women, obviously not. Fear of strangers and for it, zoo, zoo phobia, fear of animals now.
04:03:18
Speaker
Yeah, I know it's about time to go I don't really it's like I don't see anything on here That's like I'm out a hundred percent. Oh Pins and needles, you know that that that when your arm falls asleep the pins and needles feeling That's a that's a fear people are scared of that
04:03:43
Speaker
Oh, I know Tim's not here anymore. So I'll do that Saturday night for him. Yeah. Don't really have a fear drowning scares the shit on me. I have nightmares about it. Oh, well, Jeff, maybe you would like to, uh, get in my submarine and go visit. Doesn't bother me.
04:04:14
Speaker
I've been in submarines. They don't bother me, but my submarine It's controlled by a super nintendo controller. Yeah. Well, yeah, i'm good No, i've been on I I was on a you know Eric You're vomiting You're on a sub. What's up? Are you on? They they have one here. They got one here
04:04:46
Speaker
No, no, it's it's a submarine where it goes down to uh, it doesn't go very deep It goes like a hundred feet deep. It's nothing crazy, but it's a it's a like a glass bottom boat. That's actually a submarine Didn't really bother me hmm fear of blood no fear of touch Fear of the Sun, there you go
04:05:12
Speaker
PM PRM You know The the only fear I have is like being dismembered like losing a digit or something Like losing a limb kind of freaks me out Fear of phobias Was that phobia phobia
04:05:42
Speaker
I am not joking. It's a bobo bobo phobia. We we obviously don't know I don't have. Potophobia fear of feet. Yeah. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Yeah. Yeah. Fear of fire, pyrophobia. Yeah, I got nothing.
04:06:16
Speaker
I'm sure I do but I can't think of anything. Hammy who? Let's go and wrap this fucking shit show up tonight. What an interesting night. This is the great thing about what we do. Oh shit! What? But wait there's more! Fuck! Oh my god I fucking totally forgot and I wanted to mention this tonight. Fuckety fuck fuck fuck!
04:06:43
Speaker
Tune in tomorrow night to Talking Ship podcast. Oh, sure. Are you going to make it? Do you want to make it? What time? 8 p.m. 7 p.m. your time. I'll check. I'll let you know. All right. Well, they'll send me the link and I'll try to send it to you anyways. I totally forgot. And should I meant to I meant to mention that tonight?
04:07:14
Speaker
It'll be on our social media. Check out our social media. I will be hanging out with the guys from talking shit podcast or talking shit tomorrow night as a dare to venture into our world. If you will. I'm looking forward to that. Actually, uh,
04:07:33
Speaker
They're pretty cool guys. I'm honored to be invited onto their show I'll get that posted up on our social media tomorrow. So you guys will know where to go. They are on YouTube at talking shit And all the social media so be on the lookout for that I also put it on my personal snapchat and all my personal social medias as well and
04:07:58
Speaker
It'll be eight o'clock tomorrow 8 p.m. Eastern time tomorrow night. Fuck. I can't believe I forgot about that until just now. We did what we do best. You know, we just fucking won it and came up with some fun conversations. Appreciate you guys hanging out. Appreciate y'all being here. Hopefully you enjoyed the show tonight. Hopefully you enjoy what we're doing.
04:08:22
Speaker
Appreciate the replay viewers. Checking out the replay as always. If you're not already, go ahead and check out our social medias, Facebook, Instagram, X and tick tock. Don't forget we are live Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, 7 PM ish on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch. You can join us live, get in the chatters box, shoot to share with us.
04:08:42
Speaker
Saturday nights. We do the open door challenge. You guys can hit that link in the chatters box and actually join us on stage and be a part of the show It's been a lot of fun lately We've had a lot of we've got a lot of our friends joining us and hanging out with us And if you can't join us live you can listen to us anytime anyplace wherever you listen to podcast at Spotify Google Apple podcast Zincaster
04:09:07
Speaker
good pods, wherever all that nonsensical nonsense podcast, or if that's too hard for you to remember, all you have to remember is a bio dot link slash nonsensical nonsense right there at the bottom of the screen. If you're watching live or if you're watching the replay and you see this, uh, or if you're listening bio dot link slash nonsensical nonsense, all of our links are there, including our discord server.
04:09:36
Speaker
Including links to our sponsors. Don't forget if you do have them to check them out before you check out use promo code words are hard Get those discounts also if you're into music ladies and gentlemen, and you want to check out clicks house of music It's a show I do on Friday nights And it's just me playing music and hanging out having a good time
04:09:59
Speaker
We've done country. We've done eighties. Uh, just recently, I got to get it up there, but, uh, just recently did a, uh, nineties hip hop night. Uh, so, you know, I have a lot of fun doing all this podcasting things and everything like that. And like I said, make sure you tune in tomorrow night on talking shit, chat, all of our social medias. You guys will see it there. Um, and, uh, we'll make sure we get you guys, uh, where you need to be for tomorrow night. If you want to.
04:10:27
Speaker
see me and possibly jeff hanging out with the guys talking this talking that i had a song picked out and i don't remember something i'll just do this yeah um oh shit never mind i'm not doing that because i accidentally just fucking deleted it nice just kidding i'll have to re-upload that one because that was a good one
04:10:51
Speaker
uh let's do yeah let's do this we'll do a little chase matthews with county line uh check out chase matthews huge country stories everywhere youtube facebook everywhere you stream music on all social medias go show chase matthews some love and now that you'll get his attention but say hey i heard you on nonsensical nonsense and the guys really like you and uh
04:11:14
Speaker
You know, I appreciate the recommendation. And then maybe he'll be like, what's nonsensical nonsense. I should check that shit out. And then he watches it and he's in the chatter's box. Next thing you know, it's an open door Saturday night and Chase Matthews is in there hanging out with us. And that's a cool grab.
04:11:43
Speaker
I should've known better Than to give that girl a chance I wish I never met her Cause now she's with another man Maybe he can dance better than I can Maybe he's got them softer bitch boy hands Maybe he can keep you out this town
04:12:11
Speaker
and maybe say on your side of that counting line cause you got your friends darling I've got mine I heard you're in town been riding around with somebody new and probably burning it down you don't want to be seen
04:12:27
Speaker
Rolling in my bar Cause everybody here knows how you broke my heart Stay out of dust Stay out of my life Stay out of this town And stay on your side of that county line I thought we'd be forever
04:12:51
Speaker
But you couldn't make up your mind And maybe you'll remember when you kissed him You used to sleep here every night Maybe he's making more money than I can Maybe he's got more followers on Instagram Maybe he can get you off my mind
04:13:15
Speaker
And maybe stay on your side of that counting line Cause you got your friends darling I've got mine I heard you're in town and riding around With somebody new you're probably burning you down You don't wanna be staying rolling in my barn Cause everybody here knows how you broke my heart Stay outta dodge, stay outta my life Stay outta this town And stay on your side of that
04:14:03
Speaker
You got your affairs, don't leave me behind I heard you're in town, riding around With somebody new and probably burning it down You don't want to be seen rolling in my bar Cause everybody here knows how you roll my bar Stay out of dark, stay out of my life Stay out of this town, stay out of this town And stay on your side of that town, don't end mine
04:14:33
Speaker
And sayin' all your sons are telling me lies I'm really dying to sound like what you're doing to me You probably think it's funny, what you're doing to me I'm really dying to sound like what you're doing to me
04:15:05
Speaker
I love that fucking song That came from my first country night Fear of rape people I mean Anyways We'll see y'all Shit I got a busy next three days Hopefully I'll see me to see some of you guys tomorrow and I'm talking shit
04:15:33
Speaker
Jeff, have you even if you can't make the show at least pop into the comments to say what's up? Yeah, I'll see what I can do. Hopefully, I'll see some of you guys Thursday night. Then I'll see some of you guys Friday night for Glick's House of Music. Don't know what I'm doing yet, but we'll figure it out.
04:15:49
Speaker
Usually I figure it out about an hour or two before I do the show. And then Jeff and I will be back Saturday night with Connor. He'll be joining us like he normally does. I'm assuming on Saturday nights and the open door challenge. I got a busy next three days, man. I didn't realize I was going to be doing four nights in a row, but we wore out come Saturday. Yeah.
04:16:13
Speaker
I'm a busy man. You know what I mean? I'm in high demand at the end of the day, but I'm having fun doing it. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. We'll see you next time. Jeffrey, let them know one time. And with that being said, ladies and gentlemen, when you meet them crossroads in life and you're struggling and you don't know where you're going and you don't know what to do, always remember ask yourself five simple words, five letters.
04:16:41
Speaker
and then do the **** opposite. Whatever you're saying. Be good or be good at it. Much love, y'all.