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134: Can You Change Someone? image

134: Can You Change Someone?

S8 E134 · Two Kids and A Career
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210 Plays1 year ago

Last time Michelle Gauthier was on the podcast, she claimed the title of being the first guest to appear 3 times on Two Kids and A Career! Now she gets to claim the title of being the first guest to make a 4th appearance on the podcast! Here are the other episodes Michelle has appeared on:

Episode 24: A Mom’s Guide To A Calm Holiday Season

Episode 25: Tips On How To Bring More Calm To Your Life During A Pandemic

Episode 74: Advice On Readjusting To "Normal Life" Post COVID

Jill Devine invited Michelle back on the podcast to discuss an email Michelle sent to her followers. The subject line was “How to change someone”. The ladies discussed that email in detail in this week’s episode. They also discussed Michelle’s new podcast, “Overwhelmed Working Woman”, which is now available wherever you like to listen to your podcasts.

Email: [email protected]

Website: michellegauthier.com/more

IG: @michellegauthiercoaching

FB: Michelle Gauthier Life Coaching

LinkedIn: Michelle Gauthier

Two Kids and A Career Website: https://www.jilldevine.com/

Two Kids and A Career Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jilldevine/?hl=en

Two Kids and A Career Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JillDevineMedia/

Thank you to our sponsor: Elemental Esthetics

This episode is brought to you by Elemental Esthetics. When you call or text the following number (314-279-6069) to schedule your appointment, mention my name and you’ll get a special gift with your purchase.

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Transcript

The Power of Personal Desire in Change

00:00:00
Speaker
following podcast is a Jill divine media production. So it's not like you can't suggest to people that maybe they should change or say, it would be really great if you could do this that or the other thing, but they have to want to do it themselves. And so in that case,
00:00:17
Speaker
continuing to pester someone to change when they don't want to change is just like banging your head against the wall it's so such a better effort of your time to change work on changing yourself what you said is your kind of intuition anyway.
00:00:33
Speaker
This episode of Two Kids and a Career is brought to you by Elemental Aesthetics. You can be guaranteed that your experience is going to be unique and customized to your specific needs. See how they can help you focus on natural beauty enhancements by visiting elementalaesthetics.com.

Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

00:00:50
Speaker
Hi there and welcome to Two Kids in a Career. I'm Jill Devine. As an entrepreneur, wife, and mama, the daily grind of trying to build a business while taking care of kids and trying to maintain a healthy connection with my hubby, it's a lot. With this podcast, you're going to hear candid conversations with other moms.
00:01:07
Speaker
parenting experts who can share their knowledge and insight, or you'll just hear me rambling to get it all out. There's going to be tears, there's going to be laughter, but most importantly, there will be support. Take a listen and connect with me so we can grow and learn from one another. This is 2 Kids and a Career. Welcome to this week's conversation. I am so giddy because I have a guest on.
00:01:31
Speaker
who it's so funny to me because I feel like it's just a natural connection that we have and we've never met in real life. And I mean, I'm not okay with that, but I am okay with that. And it's the only person that has been on this podcast for a fourth time, last time you were the only person who has been on for three times. And I believe that title.
00:01:59
Speaker
Pooh, I am welcome Michelle Gothier to the podcast. Hi, friends. Hello. Thanks for having me. I feel so special to have the award of coming back four times. Thank you. I'm going to keep it up. I'll go for five and six and 10. Yes. That's what you said on the third one. Okay, perfect. Let me remind the listener in case they have not been introduced to you about the episodes that you have appeared on.

Reflecting on Past Episodes with Michelle Gothier

00:02:27
Speaker
The first one,
00:02:28
Speaker
was episode 24, a mom's guide to a calm holiday season. And this is an episode that you can listen to every single holiday season. And even if you've heard it a million times, something will resonate. And then you ended up coming on for episode 25, tips on how to bring more calm to your life during a pandemic. And what was really kind of special for me personally on that is you ended
00:02:56
Speaker
what was technically season one of the podcast. And that was when I was on the radio and then you know what happened and I started doing things from home. And so then you were the first
00:03:14
Speaker
guest to kick off that next season of me being in a different spot.

Michelle Gothier's COVID Experience and Passion

00:03:20
Speaker
And then I had you on again for episode 74, advice on readjusting to normal life post COVID. Because at that point, it was like, okay, we're pretty much, we're still in this pandemic, but we're pretty much coming out of it and we're going to do things. And so then I had you on for that. And I can just tell you that
00:03:41
Speaker
watching you and you watching me and seeing the different things that have evolved and transformed for the both of us, it's really amazing. And I just love being able to stay connected with you because you have so many things to offer. And I will talk obviously about why I asked you to come on for a fourth time, but let's get caught up
00:04:05
Speaker
You at the last episode, episode 74, you were living in your sister's guest house, correct? Yes, that's right. So catch me up from there.
00:04:18
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. So during COVID, before it was COVID, we just went to go visit my sister in South Carolina for spring break. And when my kids' schools got canceled and her kids' schools got canceled, we just decided to stay. So we did COVID together. And at the time, she luckily had a guest house. Not luckily, all of her guests canceled because of no one traveling.
00:04:41
Speaker
My kids and I got to live there and that was my temporary office. So I would kick my kids out into the main house, see my clients during the day, and then my sister and I just sort of managed our children together. It was actually a really cool experience that I would not change for the world, but it was a little crazy.
00:04:57
Speaker
Since then, yeah, I feel like a lot has happened and also nothing has at the same time. I mean, I'm back home, been back home in St. Louis, everything's well with me and my kids and my business. I think one of the reasons why you and I are so connected is that we're both just following, doing things that we really love.
00:05:18
Speaker
And you know, trying to live our authentic lives being who we're supposed to be. And I feel like that's what I just keep doing. In fact, I'm starting a podcast myself.

Launching 'The Overwhelmed Working Woman' Podcast

00:05:28
Speaker
It starts in just a couple weeks here. So by the time this episode is out, it will be live too. What's the name of it? And then when it does launch, I will make sure to let everybody know. Okay, awesome. It is called the overwhelmed working woman. Yeah.
00:05:43
Speaker
Yes. And the goal is to not be overwhelmed when you listen to the podcast. So what I'll be doing on there is, first of all, I'm a life coach. I assume everybody probably knows that because I feel like I've been on here several times, but I'm a life coach and I mostly help overwhelmed working women, often moms. And so the podcast will just be a summary of a tool or a strategy you can use so that if you feel overwhelmed at the beginning of an episode, by the end you feel better.
00:06:13
Speaker
That sounds amazing. So yes, when you get that launched, let me know. I will make sure that we get it in the show notes and we make sure everybody knows about it. All right. So the reason why I wanted to have you on was, and I said this to you, you sent out an email to your followers and the subject line was how to change

Self-Change Over Changing Others

00:06:36
Speaker
someone. And I was like, oh, I can't click this fast enough. And I said that to you. I said this,
00:06:42
Speaker
hit me hard. And I looked through it. And it's not what I expected, but it's kind of what I expected. And I don't want to take the words out of your mouth. So I would like for you to tell me how you got to this and why this is a topic and a talking point for you because we have I mean, I know it's everything we've talked about is how we work on us in the situation that we're in. But this is
00:07:12
Speaker
This is a trigger for a lot of people. So let's start with how you got to this point. Yeah, I just see a lot in my own life in every human's life, but specifically my client's lives that when they're feeling stressed and overwhelmed and frustrated that a lot of times it comes from the way that other people are behaving.
00:07:34
Speaker
and we have this big desire to change someone. And lots of times it's our spouse or our kids or our boss. If this person did that, then I could be happy.
00:07:45
Speaker
And that's a really dangerous trap to fall into because you can never change someone else, never. So the reason why I wrote that note was just to remind everybody about that and then to give them something else to focus on because the thought of, oh, you can never change anyone else. Everyone's like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. But I really want my husband to start picking up his own dirty socks or whatever the example is.
00:08:09
Speaker
So I wanted to do it in a more positive way where you talk and think about the things that you do love about that person, which just helps you see that usually those things that you want to change are smaller. You will say that you cannot change a person.
00:08:29
Speaker
100% like hands down, that's okay. A person can change him or herself if they want to. Okay, that's the difference. And that's where I want to tap into because I feel like there is tension when I hear you cannot change someone and more of a if someone has done you wrong or whatever, and somebody else says, Oh, well,
00:08:59
Speaker
that person's never going to change why are you giving them a second chance or why are you allowing them in your life or why are you doing this or why are you giving them a raise or whatever it may be. And I guess because I'm the type of person who likes to work on myself and wants to read all the books and do all the research that I feel like a statement of you can never change someone
00:09:27
Speaker
isn't helpful. Like I said, it brings up tension for me. Yeah, yeah. Well, that makes sense, especially if you're a person who likes to work on changing yourself because you're like, wait, does that mean I can't change that we just all come in this pre-made container and this is all we've got? And that is not true. For me and my job, I see evidence every single day that people totally can change. And I myself have completely changed
00:09:56
Speaker
from being someone who was very overwhelmed and stressed and had to be a perfectionist and pretend that everything, care a lot about what other people thought and put together this front that everything was okay. And now I have changed to be someone who's authentic and vulnerable. And I tell the truth even if it's uncomfortable.
00:10:20
Speaker
So I've completely changed myself. So if I were in a relationship with someone and they would have said to me, you really need to stop being a perfectionist. I would have been like, okay, I'm not going to do that unless I also want to. So it's not like you can't suggest to people that maybe they should change or say, it would be really great if you could do this, that, or the other thing, but they have to want to do it themselves. And so in that case,
00:10:48
Speaker
Continuing to pester someone to change when they don't want to change is just like banging your head against the wall It's so such a better effort of your time to change work on changing yourself What you said is your kind of intuition anyway, so Of course like I have all the questions when you said that you didn't think that you could change yourself and you have you've you've changed from
00:11:15
Speaker
I like the people pleasing thing or I think that was hitting me hard. I think that one of the things that you know my personality is that I'm just an empath and I do try to please people and I
00:11:33
Speaker
do care what others think but I also want to help others and it's just this weird like I take on a lot of emotion and I'm noticing that more as far as I know I've always done it but I don't think I realize how it can affect me and then I have to remove myself from situations. Well, that's hard and I don't necessarily like it. I want to fix things. I want to do things and so I guess that's where it
00:12:03
Speaker
it is hitting me is what if I am thinking about this person, whomever that

Transforming Perspectives on Parenting

00:12:10
Speaker
person may be and how I want them to change, but you said it's about changing me, then I don't understand, I don't even know where to begin. So for me, I've got a daughter who's 12 and she's very headstrong and she likes to know what's expected of her.
00:12:32
Speaker
as early as possible. If she has jobs to do that day or if we have something on the schedule, she really wants to know it ahead of time. One thing that I've tried to change about her without consciously realizing I was doing it is just to be like, you need to relax. You have to be able to take things as they come. Just chill out a little bit.
00:12:55
Speaker
And so what that does is a couple of things. I mean, it's difficult as a parent, as you know, because there are, of course, I do want her to learn to become more flexible. But if I just accepted who she was and instead of listing all the things, all the ways that that's annoying, and I focus instead on what do I already love about her, she's super reliable.
00:13:18
Speaker
She will definitely follow through on the schedule. If she says she's going to do something, she does it. She is very responsible. She does a great job with her schoolwork. So this quality about her really serves her in some ways. So what I'm changing there is my mindset around how she is. And then instead of suffering, I'm in gratitude.
00:13:42
Speaker
Does it still drive me crazy when I say, oh, it's your turn to empty the dishwasher? And she's like, you know, I want you to tell me an hour before I have to do it. And I just have to say sometimes I know when I'm really trying to do that, but you still just have to do it right now. But it's like a two minutes of annoyance instead of a constant. I wish she was a different way. Okay. Yep. Okay. Okay.
00:14:07
Speaker
So then, can I flip it in a way of, if there's someone who I know some of my certain actions frustrate them, like I can't make them do the change and think positive thoughts of me. I mean, I could slip them your email, but I don't know. So I guess that's where I'm focused on now is,
00:14:35
Speaker
How am I perceived? So if I am learning from you, Michelle, to say no and to make sure that I know what fills my bucket and what makes me overwhelmed and I know what is busy, but they don't quite get it. Are you going to give me the advice that I'm just going to have to get past that and just
00:14:56
Speaker
That's just how it is. Because remember, I'm the person if I know you're upset with me and you're whatever, it's eating me alive.
00:15:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So I think a few things to notice. One is that you have awareness of the fact that your nature is to be a people pleaser and to want to make sure that everyone feels okay and everyone's getting what they need, et cetera. And it's that just knowing that you're like that because you said as you started tuning into it that you realized it affects your life a lot more than you had realized before.
00:15:30
Speaker
So a major change that you have already made is having awareness of how your own habits and behaviors are affecting your life. So great job on that. The next step would be to actually start making some of those changes. So if we take the example of you know when you're busy and you know when you've hit your limit, whatever that limit is, and you realize that it's going to be really uncomfortable to say no to someone.
00:16:00
Speaker
and it would be more comfortable to you if they were like, oh, Jill, I noticed that you're getting really good at not being stressed out because you're saying no a lot. So if you want to say no to me, go head, right? But the reality is they're probably knocking it. If they do, that sounds amazing. We can always hope for that, but that's not going to happen. So the next step in your

Navigating the Discomfort of Change

00:16:22
Speaker
growth in that area is
00:16:24
Speaker
you can realize i would like to say no right now but saying no is gonna make me so uncomfortable that i'm gonna say yes anyway so i don't advocate saying yes when you wanna say no but in terms of like baby steps and changes even having awareness i want to say no but i'm saying yes
00:16:42
Speaker
And then following through on that and doing the thing and seeing how that feels and getting evidence for, I wanted to say no, but I said yes. And now here I am like on a Sunday doing something that I don't want to do when I wish I was home to my family. So next time I'm going to say no when I want to say no. So you practice that. The other thing it seems like your brain is suggesting is that when you change, it should feel good.
00:17:06
Speaker
When you make this change and you start saying no more and stop the people pleasing, get less and less with the people pleasing, you will feel uncomfortable.
00:17:15
Speaker
Do you hate that? It wears off. I mean, I was just actually recording a video the other day for Instagram and I was talking about saying no. And one of the things I said in the video is saying no used to literally make me want to throw up and now it has zero effect. If there's something that someone asked me to do and I say, oh my gosh, thank you so much for asking me.
00:17:39
Speaker
I can't do that, or I don't want to do that, or that doesn't fit in my... Whatever version of no I say, it gives me zero guilt, upsetness, nothing, it's just gone. So you'll get to that point eventually, but as you start to make the change, probably you even felt uncomfortable when you realized how much people pleasing was affecting your life, even before you had done the change, but it's like, oh gosh.
00:18:05
Speaker
This is really having an effect on me. And when you start saying no, it will still feel uncomfortable, but less so and less so and less so until then saying no when you want to say no just becomes a habit and then it's not hard anymore. Before I continue with this week's conversation, I want to talk to you about Elemental Aesthetics, one of the sponsors of the podcast. I was in there not too long ago getting a wonderful facial from Jennifer Warmen-Bloss, the boss of Elemental Aesthetics.
00:18:34
Speaker
And I just have to add that I trust her completely with my face. I just make an appointment and I go in and she looks and sees and then she says, okay, this is what we're going to do. And I say, okay, I trust you. And she was telling me this story about a woman that she has been taking care of for, I thought she said 20 years. The woman is 80 and looks like she's 60 and she's never had any filler.
00:19:02
Speaker
She hasn't done anything crazy to her face. She just maintains with facials and gets laser maybe once or twice a year and that's it. And that's really the thing with your face. Making sure you take care of it. Not just getting the facials but making sure that you're washing your face and you're properly moisturizing it and you're keeping it out of the sun or if you're in the sun you have sunscreen. Like all these things Jennifer will tell you about it. And so I went home that night
00:19:30
Speaker
And I just thought, you know what? I want to be like that 80 year old woman. I want to look 60 when I'm 80. And if I keep coming to Jennifer and I keep up with all this, that can happen. And that can happen for you as well. All of this information, including online scheduling at elementalesthetics.com, elementalesthetics.com. All right, let's get back to this week's conversation. Yes, that's difficult. That's really, really, truly difficult.
00:19:59
Speaker
for me. And it's just because I don't want to let anybody down. And I think that that's kind of where it comes from. It's not that I, I don't know, I'm just a doer too by, you know, the way I'm wired. And that's, I've got to stop caring about what people think, but it's hard.
00:20:22
Speaker
It is, it's really hard.

Focusing on Personal Actions and Feelings

00:20:25
Speaker
And I think one thing that helps me is to remember that just like you can never change someone, you can also never make them feel something. So when you say, I don't want them to be disappointed in me, when you say no, that person has the ability to have a thought about you saying no, that will give them a certain feeling. So yes, there's a chance they could have the thought and say,
00:20:49
Speaker
Oh, I'm so disappointed in her that she's not going to do that. And then their feeling is disappointment. It could happen, but we don't really know because they could also have the feeling of, okay, good. I really wanted to be free that afternoon too. I'm so glad. And they feel relieved. You don't know. And there's no way to control what other people think. A lot of times when my clients say, well, I'm afraid if I say no, they're not going to like me. I said, maybe they already don't like you. Oh, yeah.
00:21:19
Speaker
No one likes that, but it's true. Maybe they already don't like you. Maybe they'll like you less if you say no. Maybe they'll like you more if you say no. Maybe you're already their best friend and they don't care what you say either way. We don't know. Even if you ask someone, you don't know. Is it people like me, based on my personality and what you know, when we do think about those people and how they're feeling?
00:21:47
Speaker
Is there, is there a way to kind of combat that and not take on others feelings? Like I know when I walk into a room and somebody that I know pretty well walks into the room and you could just tell like, Oh, there's, there's something going on.
00:22:09
Speaker
whatever it may be, whether it's related to me or not, you just know something's going on. And some people can walk away and be like, I don't know what's going on with this person. I hope everything works out. And then there's people like me who's like, I don't know what to do. Should I intervene?
00:22:27
Speaker
How does that come into all of this? Because if I am supposed to not think about that person, does that make sense? Am I wording that correctly? Okay. Yes. Yes, that makes sense. Well, first of all, I think it's important to acknowledge that you seem to be a person who's really high on the empath scale and you have a better connection than some people would with guessing how other people are feeling.
00:22:53
Speaker
So it's natural and it's natural that you just want to fix that too. So I wouldn't be mad at yourself because I'm sure that that skill serves you in lots of ways in your life. There are just times when it doesn't, which is when you're thinking about something two hours later, wondering if that person is mad at you. It's just not the best use of your time.
00:23:15
Speaker
So just like the advice that when you want to change someone else, you focus on yourself. I think the quickest way to get around that is to focus back on you and ask yourself. Like in the example that you're giving, let's say it's a family member and someone comes in and they're acting in a way that you feel like is different. Go back to yourself and say, do I like how I have been behaving to this person?
00:23:44
Speaker
Do I feel good about myself and the way that I'm spending my time? Because people, when we change, people get, they get annoyed. They're used to us being a certain way. So if you're the person who's always the people pleaser, who always hosts everybody, no matter how busy you are and you make all the food, and then one year you're like, okay, I'll host, but you bring this and you bring this and you bring this, and then you perceive that people are irritated when they get there. You have to look at yourself and say, do I like how I'm acting?
00:24:13
Speaker
do I like that I'm sticking up for what I actually really want to do and that I asked them to do this different thing, even if they seem like they're uncomfortable or annoyed with it, I know I'm in line with who I want to be. At some point, if those individuals, whatever it may be, I mean, it really has to come down onto the person to say, Hey, I've got to address this and talk to you about this. I mean, I guess that's the other factor is,
00:24:42
Speaker
When you say, you know, people, I can't change anyone. People can change their habits and their thinking. I mean, I guess there's there gets a point to where it's like, all right, do I send an email? Do I send a text? Do I make the phone call? Do I say, OK, this is this is what's been bothering me. And then does that put someone on the defensive? Or if you know that they're just not going to take it well,
00:25:11
Speaker
Is that even worth it? Yeah, I would say try to think about it in your mind where you're acting from what feels good to you, what you think, not necessarily good actually, it might feel uncomfortable, it feels in line, feels authentic. So if you think someone is upset with you or you're upset with them,
00:25:30
Speaker
and you want to reach out to them, try to pretend that there's a wall between you and your thoughts and them and their thoughts because even in that example, your brain naturally went towards how will they take my message? Will they be mad or will they be glad?
00:25:46
Speaker
and you just can't know. So you have to make sure from your side that you feel clean and clear about what you're doing. So I feel like there might be something off between us. I would love to talk to you about it if you're up for it. Do you want to talk on the phone?
00:26:02
Speaker
If that feels good to you and then they write back in their mad or they write back in their happy, that's not your responsibility. So we have to think about each of us as responsible adults who are in charge of our own feelings and our own actions. Here's what's so confusing for me is that, I mean, I understand every single person is different. We all have different personalities. We are unique in our thoughts and our, you know, ways and
00:26:31
Speaker
It's hard when some people just, you know, might be listening and they're like, gosh, what is she talking about? I don't, I don't feel that way. I don't feel, you know, I don't care about what other people think. And I just do my thing. And then there's people that are like me or there's people that are, you know, in between. And that's what's hard is when, you know, you have, especially people that are like me, when it comes to controlling our thoughts, our actions,
00:27:00
Speaker
when we have been so designed around what other people think and say and do. And I think that that's just really the hard part. It's one thing that I can work with you on myself and maybe the things that are happening within my household or within my control. But then when I start thinking about the outside factors, the outside influences, the outside decisions,
00:27:30
Speaker
That's when it gets really cloudy in my head. Yeah, something good to do in that situation, especially when it reaches that. For me, in my brain, that feels like a spinning or I don't know when it just gets overwhelming. Like when you think of all the things out there that could affect it, I just get out a piece of paper and on one side right in my control and on the other side right out of my control. So if you do that in the example that we're talking about, what would be in the out of control?
00:28:01
Speaker
while someone else's feelings. Yeah. Yeah. And someone else's decisions and someone else's actions and like the weather and where they work and how that affects what they're going to think. It's pretty much everything is in the out of control side except for your own thoughts and your own actions. Yeah. And that's where the change comes.

Prioritizing Authenticity and Self-Care

00:28:27
Speaker
All right. Yeah.
00:28:30
Speaker
I would love to, as we wrap things up, just make sure that we cover a little bit more about change and what other tips you have. And then I would love for you to explain to the listener that hasn't heard any of our past episodes what you can offer.
00:28:48
Speaker
One more thing I want to say just to sort of close this discussion is that it's really helpful when you're able to focus on yourself and that you feel good about the way that you're thinking and the way that you're acting. And that doesn't mean you can't make mistakes, but part of feeling good about it is continuing to try to change and making mistakes to move more towards your most authentic self. And when you do that, oftentimes people don't like it. And oftentimes it feels very uncomfortable.
00:29:17
Speaker
So i say that not to be negative but just to be real with you because if you wanna make real change you'll have to be somewhat uncomfortable but another key is.
00:29:29
Speaker
Thinking the thought, I'm just gonna let people be wrong about me if they're mad. So if you make a change, like for example, I'm gonna say this really true, this is a true story. So I was definitely raised and I think, gosh, I'll say most, the vast majority of women were raised to believe that what I want is always underneath what other people want.
00:29:51
Speaker
And it's okay for me to be happy as long as everybody else is also happy. And so I feel like in my particular family, I was raised like that and there were generations like that. So this was a family thing. And when I started becoming a life coach and learning more about mental health and how to make yourself feel better, one of the things that my mom, who I'm really super close to, just couldn't get over was this put yourself first mentality.
00:30:19
Speaker
especially if you're a mom or whatever, that you should always be putting everyone else before you. And she still thinks to this day that it's selfish. And so I'm not selfish. I'm really not. But I do take care of myself first. I'm a single mom. I have two kids. And I have to put myself first and make sure that I feel good about how I'm spending my time and what I'm doing. And so I just have to tell myself, I'm just going to let her be wrong about me.
00:30:47
Speaker
She thinks it's selfish. That's her opinion. I don't. That's my opinion. We still love each other. We get along great. But I have to let her be wrong about me. That's hard. I mean, it's hard for me to hear that. But you're right. You're right. Yep. And it's it's really hard if you don't believe yourself. So, for example, if I felt like I'm being selfish and she says I feel selfish, that's going to hurt. Yeah. If I know I'm not.
00:31:16
Speaker
and she says I am, it's easier to just let her be wrong about me. So what I'm hearing is that in order for all these outside voices, this outside noise to just be shushed, you have to change yourself. Yeah. Yeah. And it's okay. When I first started living in that way, it did feel a little selfish because it was very different.
00:31:43
Speaker
than how I had been before that. So I just had to practice and practice being that person and practice believing that it was the best thing for me and then start collecting evidence for how that was the best thing for me and all the people I love for me to take care of myself first.
00:32:00
Speaker
That was, yeah, that's a good one right there. Like that definitely wraps it all up. OK, Michelle, you have a new podcast coming. Talk about that again. Also talk about how people can get ahold of you and what you can do. OK, so my podcast is called The Overwhelmed Working Woman. What I will do is have a new episode every Monday morning when I was at my peak of overwhelm and working this
00:32:27
Speaker
crazy corporate job and had little kids, Monday mornings, Sundays and Mondays were just sort of terrible in my mind. So I'm going to drop the episodes on Monday mornings hoping that everyone can tune in and get a little small lesson like we're talking about today so that they can have a smoother, easier week than they would have had otherwise.

Inviting Engagement with 'The Overwhelmed Working Woman'

00:32:47
Speaker
That's pretty amazing because I'm already excited about that. I just need that affirmation small tip. Yes. I think there are people either driving to work or sitting at their makeup table, putting their makeup on or drying their hair, whatever, that they can listen to that.
00:33:06
Speaker
Also, you mentioned that the reason why you asked me to be on was because you get my weekly email. So if you go to my website, which is MichelleGothier.com, and I'm sure the link will be in the show notes, so I don't have to spell it. But if you go there, you can subscribe to my weekly email. Jill can give you her opinion, but I try to make it something just like I'm talking about with the podcast, just something useful, a little tidbit you can take to make your day a little bit better.
00:33:33
Speaker
100% agree. Okay. And then if you're interested in working with me on my website, there's a work with me tab. I do one-on-one coaching on Zoom for my life coaching clients, and I do a six month program. So we would work together every week for six months.

Final Thoughts and Gratitude

00:33:51
Speaker
And again, I will have
00:33:52
Speaker
all of that stuff, the good nuggets here at JillDivine.com. And as always, I mean, I come away from our conversations where even if it's just one little change, it will equal a big change. And I feel like I have more tools in my toolbox because of you and just so thankful for our time together and the
00:34:18
Speaker
knowledge and the advice that you give me and you give the listener. So thank you, Michelle. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I always love talking to you. And now the next time when you're getting ready to say no, when it feels uncomfortable, you can know that's exactly how it's supposed to feel. And hear me whispering in your ear, it's okay for them to be wrong about you. Michelle told me to. Oh, Michelle, thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for having me.
00:34:47
Speaker
And as we wrap up one more shout out to elemental aesthetics, I was there not too long ago, getting a facial from Jennifer, warm and bloss. And something cool happened because I have talked to two other women from her office, Dr. Walsh, who I'm actually going to be talking to again in the summer on the podcast and Laura.
00:35:07
Speaker
one of the nurse practitioners at Elemental Aesthetics. She was also on the podcast and I got to see both of these ladies in action meeting new clientele and helping existing clientele and just the warm and welcoming feeling when you walk into Elemental Aesthetics and the love that
00:35:28
Speaker
these women have for their job. It's awesome. Like Jennifer, warm and blessed. I could just go and talk to her all day long. There's just this calming vibe and this supportive vibe. I really, really encourage you to check out elemental aesthetics.
00:35:45
Speaker
And maybe there are certain things that you've been thinking about doing or you've been hearing about or you're interested in and you just don't know. You can get a complimentary consultation. Learn more elementalaesthetics.com. You can also schedule online at elementalaesthetics.com.
00:36:02
Speaker
And I would also like to highlight JillDivine.com. If you go there, you can get every single podcast episode available that I have. And you can read some blogs that we have created from our interns and also my social media handles. As always, I want to thank you for your support of two kids and a career.