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146: Special Episode - Using The Enneagram As A Spiritual Tool
27 Plays5 months ago
The Holy Week reflections Laura Fleetwood created about Jesus and how he exuded all of the 9 personality types from the ancient spiritual growth tool called the enneagram, generated a lot of buzz. Jill Devine asked Laura to dig deeper and explain more about the enneagram and how it applies to our everyday lives, as well as our spiritual lives.
In this week’s episode, Laura provides a general overview of the enneagram.
Learn Your Own Enneagram Type by Taking this Free Assessment:
https://coach.yourenneagramcoach.com/laura-fleetwood
Gospel-Centered Enneagram Explanations:
https://messiahstcharles.org/origins-download/
https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/should-christians-use-the-enneagram
Enneagram Books:
Enneagram Coaching for Individual or Couple: Contact Laura Fleetwood at laura@seekingthestill.com
Two Kids and A Career Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jilldevine/?hl=en
Two Kids and A Career: https://www.jilldevine.com/podcast
Seeking The Still Website: Seekingthestill.com
Seeking The Still Instagram: Instagram.com/seekingthestill
Seeking The Still Facebook: Facebook.com/seekthestill
Normal Goes A Long Way Website: https://www.normalgoesalongway.com/
Normal Goes A Long Way Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normalgoesalongway/
Normal Goes A Long Way Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Normal-Goes-A-Long-Way-110089491250735
Normal Goes A Long Way is brought to you by Messiah St. Charles: https://messiahstcharles.org/
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Transcript
Introduction to Podcast and Host
00:00:00
Speaker
The following podcast is a Jill Devine Media production. Hi there and welcome to Two Kids in a Career. I'm Jill Devine. As an entrepreneur, wife and mama, the daily grind of trying to build a business while taking care of kids and trying to maintain a healthy connection with my hubby, it's a lot. With this podcast, you're going to hear candid conversations with other moms. parenting experts who can share their knowledge and insight, or you'll just hear me rambling to get it all out. There's going to be tears, there's going to be laughter, but most importantly, there will be support. Take a listen and connect with me so we can grow and learn from one another. This is Two Kids and a
Understanding the Enneagram: Basics and Misconceptions
00:00:37
Speaker
Career. Thank you for hitting play on this week's conversation of two kids and a career. I'm Jill Devine along with Laura Fleetwood. And in this week's episode, Laura is going to talk to us a little bit more about what the Enneagram is, what it isn't, and her training in it and why she's so drawn to it. Before we get into the types, which we will start that next week,
00:01:02
Speaker
You wanna do a little background on your coaching and what people should know about the Enneagram types and and all that good stuff? Sure, so the Enneagram is an ancient tool actually. I did not know this. Yes, so it was, I like to say it was not developed, it was discovered. So what is personality? Let's start there. Personality is the thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that make one person unique from another. yeah hey So it's kind of the lens through which we all experience life. And what happened was early on um in the age, this is what's been documented, um in early Christianity, the desert mothers and fathers were people who kind of separated themselves and went into the desert to have their own
00:02:00
Speaker
little community, kind of like think of it as an early monastery kind of thing. And they recognized because they lived amongst each other so closely that there were really distinct types of people. So while everybody is unique as an individual, there are commonalities in the way personality presents itself. And that is where the root of the Enneagram to cult, Enneagram actually means in Latin nine and diagram. So a diagram of nine things.
Enneagram: A Tool for Growth and Transformation
00:02:39
Speaker
And when you see the symbol of an Enneagram, it kind of looks, it's a circle with nine dots and then lines connecting in the middle. And that's because each of the personalities, not only are there nine unique personalities, but people have found and studied that
00:02:59
Speaker
The way each of those personalities respond in stress and in growth are similar if you belong to the same personality type. And so it's like it's a diagram. It's a tool of human behavior that has been studied since early Christianity. And then what happened is that spiritual directors and people um in monasteries who would counsel others kind of picked up on it and used it as a way to help people understand why they think, feel, and behaved the way they did. And of course, as Christians, we know that God is all about wanting us to transform into the best possible version of ourselves. And so the Enneagram is not just a personality typing system, like maybe you've heard of Myers-Briggs or, you know, the the big four or the big five,
00:03:55
Speaker
Those are all personality typing tools, but what's different with Enneagram is it helps you grow. It doesn't just put you in a box and say, this is how you think and this is how you behave. It's like, this is your default.
Personality Perception and Conflict Resolution
00:04:09
Speaker
But under stress, you might look like this. Under growth, you might look like this. And then let's ask God to help us grow and transform so that we are displaying more of the positive characteristics of our personality than the negative. It sounds weird to say this out loud when I'm thinking, I mean, we're all different people. Yes. We all think different things. We all have different opinions. And yet it is something that I i struggle with a little bit because what you just said about the whole different looking at a lens in a different way, like,
00:04:49
Speaker
one thing that bothers me may not bother you. And I don't understand that. And how could something like this over here not bother me, but bother you? And it's just, it's so complex. It's very interesting and intriguing. And that's another thing that I like that you just said is, it I mean, we are typecasting ourselves, so to speak, with anything that we say that we are. label our Yes. But to be able to grow from it and to see from like all the sides around it, that's what I think is the most interesting part. It's not just, hey, I'm a this and that's just who I am. No, you can be that and also want to grow and learn to grow.
00:05:40
Speaker
Exactly. And I think that different personalities are the root of most of our relational struggles. Yes, they are. Because of what you just said, you can be in a meeting, let's say at work with six different people in the room. Everybody hears the same words. that were said, the same message you know that was shared. And yet, if you interviewed all six of those people after the meeting, I guarantee you that four, at least, or five would have different a different summary about the tone or um what they're supposed to do next or how they felt after that meeting with the same exact information
00:06:29
Speaker
And it's because we experience everything through the lens of our personality. It's so scary though, too. It really is. It's scary, but also so helpful. Because what happens is then when there's a conflict and you and I don't agree on something, I know to clarify and to get to the root issue, to not take it personally, but to understand that maybe you just experienced the situation or the conversation differently than I did. And if we could get to, if we could each share our perspective, we might go, aha. Right. That's the key. That's the key. Yeah, because you often, I mean, we just do this. We do this in our own head. Like, I think that I am saying it this way or thinking it this way. And you try to put it into words. And sometimes it's just so hard to do it. But the moment that you're able to talk through it all,
00:07:29
Speaker
And then just being able to, especially with this, to bring in what is it about my relationship with Jesus and how that all works. and and And just recognizing that he has all of these types, so he gets it. It's not just a, Of course he loves you. So you shouldn't be doing this or it's okay to think this way, or this is why you feel this way. There are, there's reasons. Right. I mean, God created us in his image. So what that tells me is that if we've noticed that there are these patterns of personality in the Enneagram, it's nine, um, that those nine personalities are reflections of God in a way.
00:08:18
Speaker
And so me being a type seven, I reflect like the joyfulness of God. you being a type two, you reflect God's nurturing nature, right? And so all of the types have a reflection of the divine. which is's cool And he's all of it, yeah right? And he gives us a piece of it. And so, of course, it's beautiful to recognize that, oh, I may not see the world the way you do, but you have an important way of seeing the world. And so do you. And so do I. They're just different.
Guidelines for Enneagram Use
00:08:52
Speaker
And we need them all. Yes. That's okay. So there are a few basics when it comes to utilizing the Enneagram. Okay. The first is that one type is not better than another. Okay. All nine types are beautiful and wonderful and needed. Okay. The um another thing is you must not, and these are, these are my own rules. You may not use the Enneagram as a weapon. So you may not say, Oh, I really don't like that person because he's a type eight and so he's commanding and abrasive. And so I'm just going to type cast him as being somebody that I would not get along with for an example. So you may not use it as a weapon and you also may not use it as an excuse. The example would be, oh, I'm a type seven. i
00:09:42
Speaker
just like to go from idea to idea to project to project. And so I don't have to finish anything oh because that's just not my personality. My personality is to flip and float. No, you cannot use it as an excuse, right? To not fulfill your basic duties and to to live life and to get along with people because every type from one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine have a shadow side as well. as a productive growth site. And so we can very easily fall into the ego trap, the sinful trap, because we're all sinful human beings, of acting and thinking and feeling out of our shadow side, which is not healthy.
00:10:32
Speaker
Okay, and that's where the growth and the transformation comes in. So by default, under stress, we're going to want to act and behave and feel out of our shadow side. And that's where we learn to identify when that's happening and to pause and ask the Holy Spirit to help us respond in health and in growth. And that's the spiritual transformation of it is that Jesus in scripture, you know it says that um you will renew your mind. Like the Holy Spirit can help us live in the beautiful aspect of our personality instead of in the sinful
Discovering Your Enneagram Type
00:11:15
Speaker
side. And so it's important to note that we all have both.
00:11:19
Speaker
So as we prepare for the next three episodes that we will be releasing, what do you want the listener to know? i The rules are great. Anything else? Because when we get into the next episode, we're gonna dive straight into those types and just start talking about those. um Anything you think would be helpful leading up to? It's not 100% accurate. It's not something by which you know you're going to define the rest of your life. It's simply a tool in your tool belt to help you understand why do I think and act and behave the way I do? And why do others i think and act and behave the way they do? So it's just a tool. It's a helpful tool, I think. I think it's a pretty darn accurate tool. Yeah, I agree.
00:12:15
Speaker
um especially in in relationships and in understanding the people that you're closest with, um how God made them. So that's one thing. um The other thing that I would say is that the Enneagram is um something that is very personal. And that's why we shouldn't try to like type other people necessarily. Every person should kind of figure out their own type. And I've got an assessment that we'll share um that you can take. Everybody can take it's free. So you can learn your Enneagram type before the first episode when we go over types two, three and four. All right.
00:13:01
Speaker
So yeah, it's I think it's exciting. um I would encourage you, even if you've taken the Enneagram assessment before, take it again and see you know if the assessment I use is is similar to what you've learned in the past. And recognize that the nine types I think of are like colors. So you know you can have red, blue, orange, purple, green, But in in each of those colors, there's a million hues of red. There's a million hues of orange. So not every eight is going to act, think, and be hit and feel the same as other eights. It's like you have your own shading. There's lots of different gray. Yes, there's lots. So we're not saying that you're exactly like everybody else who's your type. Of course not. no But there are some commonalities
00:13:57
Speaker
in how you move through life that might be helpful for you to know. and um Yeah, it's, it's very interesting and fascinating and I think a wonderful tool for both your spiritual growth and just learning to get along with others in the world. I agree. So let's just put it into this one and get ready. Our next episode that will be released next week, we're going to dive into types two, three, and four.