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149: Special Episode - Types 8, 9, and 1 Experiencing Spiritual and Relational Growth with the Enneagram
130 Plays5 months ago
The Holy Week reflections Laura Fleetwood created about Jesus and how he exuded all of the 9 personality types from the ancient spiritual growth tool called the enneagram, generated a lot of buzz. Jill Devine asked Laura to dig deeper and explain more about the enneagram and how it applies to our everyday lives, as well as our spiritual lives.
In this week’s episode, Laura provides a general overview of enneagram types 8, 9, and 1 – the gut center.
Learn Your Own Enneagram Type by Taking this Free Assessment:
https://coach.yourenneagramcoach.com/laura-fleetwood
Gospel-Centered Enneagram Explanations:
https://messiahstcharles.org/origins-download/
https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/should-christians-use-the-enneagram
Enneagram Books:
Enneagram Coaching for Individual or Couple: Contact Laura Fleetwood at laura@seekingthestill.com
Two Kids and A Career Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jilldevine/?hl=en
Two Kids and A Career: https://www.jilldevine.com/podcast
Seeking The Still Website: Seekingthestill.com
Seeking The Still Instagram: Instagram.com/seekingthestill
Seeking The Still Facebook: Facebook.com/seekthestill
Normal Goes A Long Way Website: https://www.normalgoesalongway.com/
Normal Goes A Long Way Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normalgoesalongway/
Normal Goes A Long Way Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Normal-Goes-A-Long-Way-110089491250735
Normal Goes A Long Way is brought to you by Messiah St. Charles: https://messiahstcharles.org/
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast and Enneagram Series
00:00:00
Speaker
The following podcast is a Jill Devine Media production. Hi there and welcome to Two Kids in a Career. I'm Jill Devine. As an entrepreneur, wife and mama, the daily grind of trying to build a business while taking care of kids and trying to maintain a healthy connection with my hubby, it's a lot. With this podcast, you're going to hear candid conversations with other moms. parenting experts who can share their knowledge and insight, or you'll just hear me rambling to get it all out. There's going to be tears, there's going to be laughter, but most importantly, there will be support. Take a listen and connect with me so we can grow and learn from one another. This is 2 Kids and a Career. Thank you for hitting play on 2 Kids and a
Overview of Enneagram Types 8, 9, and 1
00:00:40
Speaker
Career. Let's continue our conversation about the Enneagram. I'm Jill Devine here with Laura Fleetwood.
00:00:46
Speaker
We're wrapping up our Enneagram series that we've been doing. I'm Jill Devine here with Laura Fleetwood. And this all started with a Laura just seeking the Holy Spirit. You took the Enneagram knowledge that you have. You said, this is what I believe we could say about Jesus as he was entering into Holy Week. So we've been diving into the types and we're gonna cover the last three types today. Eights, nines, and ones. So Laura, without further ado. Eight, nine, and one. You are the gut
Deep Dive into Type 8: The Protective Challenger
00:01:26
Speaker
triad. So these are individuals who just have that innate sense of knowing um when it comes to how to respond to a situation. They just say, they just go, I just know in my gut. And so um we'll start with the eights. The eights are called the protective challenger.
00:01:46
Speaker
These are people who are very assertive, very self-confident and can be intense, but they're also underneath really big-hearted, but under stress can be confrontational. o So, you know, these might be people that you would say, oh, they have very much a sense of um power about them. And that all stems from that are very important to them that they want to make sure are maintained. So the core fear of a type eight, they do not want to be seen as weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, or manipulated. Their desire is that is protection. They want to protect themselves and anyone in their inner circle. So anyone that they really care about. Their weakness is excess. So constantly,
00:02:42
Speaker
desiring intensity, control, and power, pushing themselves on people possibly to get what they want. And their core longing is to hear you will not be betrayed. Underneath this very commanding presence of a type eight is this fear of betrayal. So type eight, um we need them because they are decisive, they're assertive, they have an assertive leadership style. that causes them to want to be a change agent, to like make things happen and make things change, ah especially when it's about seeking justice and protection um for something or someone that they're they care about. So under stress, a type eight moves
Exploring Type 9: The Peacemaker
00:03:30
Speaker
to an unhealthy type five, and under growth, they move to a healthy
00:03:35
Speaker
type two. Oh, wow. Yeah. Remember how the type two is under stress because unhealthy eight. Well, a healthy eight becomes a healthy two or takes on the characteristics of a healthy two. And so that's when when an eight has done the work and is in a good place and is it emotionally and strong, they become very helpful. It's easy to say that type feels very, like you said, power driven, like the corporate person in charge. Yeah, it really does. It'd be interesting to know how many presidents were type eight. I was just thinking that how like that is this type of power that you have to be a protective and guarded and yeah any study has ever been done.
00:04:27
Speaker
I guess I could email the living president. Can you please do that? All right. Okay. So type nine. So type nine is the peacemaker o type nines. Again, are that, that they just have that guts knowing about themselves. Um, the peaceful mediator. They're very thoughtful, reassuring, receptive and accommodating. But the shadow side of that is that they may be um resigned or like almost kind of lazy. So they are, in general, very easygoing, non-judgmental, and patient. huh Peacemakers just want harmony. they just They're the ones, can't we all just get along in their environments? And so they will do anything to bring down the level of confrontation
00:05:25
Speaker
You know, they'll just even if it's not something they want to do, they'll go with the flow kind of people. So what they fear, or the reason why they do that, is they don't want conflict, tension, or discord. um They don't like feeling shut out, or overlooked, or losing connection. So those are their core fears. Their core desire is to have inner stability and peace. And the weakness is that because of this need for peace, they can be um Sloth is the is the weakness. So remaining in this idealistic world in order to keep the peace, they they just kind of fall asleep to themselves and their own desires and just maybe like, OK, well, whatever. I'm just going to not.
00:06:14
Speaker
Okay, this sounds really silly. Why are you giggling? Because, okay, so now when you start going through each one and you start thinking about people and you start thinking about characters, do you want to know seriously what came to mind when you just started popping from the trolls? Have you watched? Oh, yeah. It's like when she wants to try to bring everybody together and I just can't help but just smile at her because How fun. I don't know. It's just kind of silly that it came to me, but I was like, oh, she wants all these different trolls to come together and she wants peace and she wants harmony. and yeah um and that But she also maybe was clueless to all of it as well. So, oh yeah, wow. So if you Google, you can Google
00:07:08
Speaker
Enneagram cartoon characters or Enneagram princesses. They do one of those. Yeah, it will show you like which characters might Represent the different types and it is so funny. Isn't it funny? I know I know it just feels like you can relate even though it's not even my type I'm just like, oh puppy. Okay. Yeah Okay. All right. So the core longing for a type nine is that their presence matters. oh yeah right Under stress, a nine goes to an unhealthy six, so very anxious under stress. And under health goes to the healthy type three. So a nine who can be um very under self-motivated can be very productive, like a healthy type three, when they're in a good place. So nines are, gosh,
00:07:59
Speaker
I think nines are some of the most under-recognized people because they do are they just are constantly smoothing things over behind the scenes. you know and then and And so we kind of can take them for granted easily. yeah
Understanding Type 1: Morality and Perfectionism
00:08:18
Speaker
Which is sad because their their core longing is that they want to know that they matter. they're right they They matter. like They're so busy smoothing everyone else over. Let's appreciate the nine. Yes. Come on, Poppy. All right. And our last type, type one. Type one is the moral perfectionist. This is the last of the three in the gut triad, right? So the moral perfectionist is the person that thinks in black and white. Oh, okay. To them, there's always a right way and a wrong way. They are very conscientious.
00:08:56
Speaker
very orderly and appropriate and ethical. But the shadow side of a type one is judgmentalism, judgmental. So ones always are concerned with doing what is right. And so their their fear, their core fear is that they would be wrong, that they might somehow be bad or evil or inappropriate. They really want to have integrity, to be good and accurate and virtuous and right. Now, what this leads to from a core weakness standpoint is resentment because they're very frustrated when things don't go the way they think is right and can kind of hide that until it bubbles up and turns into resentment. And their core longing is to be told or known as being good.
00:09:52
Speaker
So the Enneagram 1 is so important to us because they are thinking always about what is right. And we need that in our world, right? But the challenge for a 1 is to also try to engage the other centers of intelligence to balance it so that they can try to see from other perspectives as well. Because as we know, what we think is right and what we think is wrong can sometimes change or be influenced by other people's opinions or where they come from their perspectives. So the type 1 under stress moves to an unhealthy type 4 and under growth moves toward a healthy type 7.
00:10:38
Speaker
This is kind of fun because the seven under stress moves to an unhealthy one. So there's this relationship between ones and sevens. So somebody that might typically be focused on right or wrong, doing the right thing, when they're when they grow, they're able to loosen up and take on some of that optimism of the seven. I've been reading this book, it's called, I think, The Perfectionist Detox, and that is what they say, like perfectionist, 100% black and white on certain ways of thinking. And at first, I was really kind of
00:11:17
Speaker
pushing back on that a little bit as someone, I don't necessarily consider myself a perfectionist, but there are certain things that I do, I would say I'm like maybe 80%, but the black and white thing really bothered me because I think it it, I have been able to start seeing a lot more gray in the world based on experiences. And I didn't like that black and white label, but I do understand it. Sure. And remember that all of us have a little bit of all of these types in us. That was the other thing. Yeah. I was like, OK, remember that it's all of these things. We have them all. Right. There's going to be a type that is your type, that is your natural way of looking at the world. and But the the goal of the Enneagram is to really embrace all of the lenses and to be able to respect, remember,
00:12:13
Speaker
One type isn't better than another to be able to respect these different ways of viewing the world and to choose the healthiest version of your primary type. and so um a type one is important to the world because we need people thinking about what is right, what is wrong, but then embracing their healthy side of being more relaxed, you know, um positive and ah optimistic, able to see more of the
The Purpose of Enneagram: Personal Growth and Relationships
00:12:41
Speaker
gray. That's something that a type one is going to want to work on. And it's possible for that to happen. For sure. That is one of the things. That's the goal. Right. So remember that the Enneagram, the goal of all of this is to work toward growth. and transformation, right? Yeah. So we don't want to just stay stuck in our default modes because usually your default modes aren't healthy. You're not working on it. Right. If you're not working towards something, you're just kind of stuck. So that's the beauty of the Enneagram is it shows for each personality. What's the healthiest way for that personality to think, feel and behave?
00:13:18
Speaker
I think that is also something I wanna bring up is, and you have said this in every single episode, what happens when you are unhealthy in your type? And then you start looking out for these things. And I've been able to notice that as well too. Like, oh, when I start to feel this way, like what is the trigger? Is the trigger something deep rooted or is it I'm tired or is it i'm whatever? And so I think that that is a really, great thing to hold onto as well. You can have your type, but you're going to have, everyone's going to have the bad days. You're going to have all those. You can work towards the healthy part and just being able to recognize that. Yeah. So that's what I call the rumble strips. yeah you have those When you know your type and you know how you tend to behave under stress and under growth, those become your side rails, your rumble strips. You're on the lookout for those things.
00:14:17
Speaker
And so when you start to go off the road and start to hit that rumble strip, it's an indicator, oh, now that you have awareness, you can pause, pray, ask God for the insight and the wisdom and the strength to pivot and go toward your healthy side. So that's the whole goal of Enneagram coaching is to help you become aware of those, those rumble strips and practice moving toward growth. So we've gone through all the types. This has been so awesome. i' I just love the fact that I can look at Jesus in a different way too and maybe relate a little bit more like you and my husband being type sevens. I can go, oh, okay. I understand that a little bit more or me being a type two.
00:15:04
Speaker
I just think it's so super cool. It's giving us more tools for the toolbox. And so as we wrap up, that's that's kind of like, what's next? What do we tell people to do with this knowledge? What do we encourage them to lean into? Sure. Well, there's so many recent sources for the ideogram. I would suggest finding a Christ centered approach. which is what I use. So for example, you can engage a coach, an Enneagram coach like me, where you work one-on-one with each other for an hour at a time or so. There are lots of books that we can link in the show notes as well. Cause you're going, this was a very surface level yeah explanation. I mean, we didn't even get into wings and we didn't, you know, we didn't get into a lot of stuff. ok um What it looks like to,
00:15:59
Speaker
to live as God's child versus to live as an orphan in that sense. So there's so much more. And so I think we'll have to probably do another series of Enneagram episodes down the road. But in the meantime, um just check out the the links that we have below and take the free assessment as well that we provided. It's really fun to learn the types of your family members. It becomes a really just fun discussion point at family dinners and um gatherings, you know, to and be like, oh yeah, I totally see that now. I was just thinking about that. Honestly, I was, I think I was brushing my teeth this morning and I don't know why I started thinking about different people in my life. I'm like, oh, I need to get them this test to see if they will answer it. And to help perspective wise for me, sure you know, maybe when there's, I'm overthinking something or what have you, just to understand. And again, like you said, we just did,
00:17:03
Speaker
the surface level stuff. Yes, think you cannot go in and go, oh, they said they're a type seven, so there are all these things. like We gotta have some grace here, just understand that. And remember that the goal always is understanding. like you We want to have a posture of understanding the people around them, not wanting to change them, right but to understand, change is only something you can do for yourself. So um yeah, take the take the assessment, learn your type. it's It's a language, it's a neutral language that we can use to discuss our differences and to discuss conflict. And that's what I love
Engaging with Enneagram for Personal Development
00:17:43
Speaker
about it. is it Like you said, it's another tool. It's a way ah of speaking about our differences that um is just easy for everybody to understand and be on the same page with in a way that we might not have a language like that otherwise without a tool like that. igram