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18. Megan Gillikin - Imposter Syndrome
79 Plays3 years ago
Happy Woo Wednesdays! We are struggle with imposter syndrome at every level of business. Megan helps us understand and overcome it. This is such a deep and real conversation. Make sure to check out Megan's podcast for wedding professionals. It's called Wedding For Real. She has 140 episodes.
Megan Gillikin is a veteran wedding planner, podcast host and international speaker dedicated to making life easier for her fellow wedding pros. Her love for mentoring blossomed from her tumultuous entrepreneurship journey. Between her own experiences and hearing others’ stories first-hand as the host of the Weddings For Real podcast, Megan now offers new wedding planners an easier way to grow their businesses through her education and community membership, The Planner’s Vault. She has captivated audiences with her warm, personable style as a speaker at events like Wedding MBA, Catersource, WIPA, NACE and others. You can find Megan online at theplannersvault.com, weddingsforreal.com and asouthernsoiree.com.
Topic: Quieting Your Inner Critic/Imposter Syndrome
1) There's no level of achievement in business where you've "made it" and have it all figured out but we often assume that from how others present "success" on social media and in casual conversations.
2) Wasting energy on what others think is energy not put towards growing your business and taking big leaps.
3) There are some actionable tips, some great books, (and some helpful thought redirection) that has helped me in this arena and I'd love to share those.
Connect with Megan
https://www.instagram.com/weddingsforreal/
If you are a planner check out her membership
https://www.instagram.com/plannersvault/
Megan's planning company
https://www.instagram.com/asouthernsoiree/
Connect with Carissa
Coaching IG: @Carissawoo
Photography IG: @carissawoophotography
Download a free guide on how to become a lead generating machine HERE
Master, the dreaded sales call with Carissa Woo:
https://carissawoo.samcart.com/products/7steps
Thank you to our sponsors Photobooth Supply. Buy the Photo Booth
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Transcript
Introduction and Imposter Syndrome
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everyone, it's Carissa Wu. Hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for you. So today I have a very special guest. Her name is Megan Gilliken and she is a podcaster veteran with over 160 episodes.
00:00:15
Speaker
Her podcast is called Weddings for Real for wedding professionals. Go check it out. Today we have a very deep conversation about imposter syndrome. We all struggle with it at every level we are at. She helps us understand it and overcome it. Enjoy.
Carissa's Podcast Journey
00:00:34
Speaker
Welcome to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host, Carissa, and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all. I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
00:01:03
Speaker
Time hacks because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. I want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey. I hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesday so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon!
Megan's Background and The Planner's Vault
00:01:26
Speaker
Hey guys, it's Carissa. As you know, I'm here with this amazing woman named Megan Gilligan, and she is a wedding planner for over a decade. She's an international speaker and mom of three girls. She's also the host of my favorite podcast for wedding pros. It's called Weddings for Real. And she has over 130 episodes, which is crazy. You have to tell me all about it later. And she owns a company called The Planner's Vault, an easy way for wedding planners to grow their business.
00:01:55
Speaker
Hi, Megan. Thank you so much for having me on the show. I've been looking forward to this all week. Yeah. And I'm so happy for you. So congrats on closing your doors for your membership. How many people signed up? Yeah. So we had 60 new planners sign up, which takes us to, I think it's like 375 across the United States and a lot of Canadian friends as well. Oh, that's so good. How does it feel?
00:02:23
Speaker
It feels really good. I launched the membership because I wanted to create a space for that next generation of wedding planners specifically coming into the industry and growing their business. And I wanted to create a space that was a much easier and supportive place than what I had when I started 11 years ago. And so I love it.
00:02:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think I'm right the same as you. So are you still doing weddings? Cause I just looked on your Instagram and it's your weddings are freaking amazing. Oh, thank you. Yes.
Transitioning from Wedding Planning
00:02:55
Speaker
So I did stop accepting weddings, but I, um, my team is still taking weddings and then I am phasing myself out to, uh, I will finish up with my last wedding next year.
00:03:08
Speaker
Oh, does it feel like bittersweet? It does. It does. I mean, when I started this business 11 years ago, I had been married like three weeks to my husband at that time. And I could hustle and, you know, work 30 plus weekends a year. And now I have three children and I have found like, I just absolutely love helping like
00:03:36
Speaker
specifically females build their business and those conversations, I just found that those were really lighting me up. Whereas working with couples as much as I have loved that season of my life, it feels like that season is wrapping up.
00:03:52
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I'm in the same boat. I'm probably similar to you and I have two girls. I can't imagine three. But yeah, I mean, I've loved weddings for so long and I was obsessed with them. But now I'm not as much. I know that feeling. Yeah, that feeling we should have a whole conversation on like burnout, I'm sure.
Business Challenges and Growth
00:04:10
Speaker
Oh, yes. And we are later going to talk about quieting your inner critic and imposter syndrome. But I wanted to ask you, like, what is your biggest accomplishment in business? Wow. So I have a unique entrepreneur story in that I did not start this business myself. I went on a job interview with a local planner in my market. I guess it was a little over 11 years ago.
00:04:38
Speaker
and came out with an offer to purchase her business unexpectedly. She was going through burnout herself. She was ready to move to a new location, and I left my full-time job. I took out a small business loan, and I took a scary leap of faith, which will tie into our topic of imposter syndrome because it's something that I absolutely
00:05:05
Speaker
still struggle with 11 years later. Oh, really? I can't wait to hear your perspective on it. And I rebuilt a brand that was really in a rough spot. We had been removed from all venue preferred planner lists. We had some burned bridges with other wedding pros in the market. And I'm proud of that, but I honestly think
00:05:32
Speaker
The thing I'm most proud of is recognizing that as much as I have loved this season of my business, I recognize that it's time to put my
00:05:45
Speaker
time and efforts elsewhere. And that can be scary, super scary as well. I'm so scared too. I keep telling when I'm like over and then as soon as I get an inquiry, I'm like, Hey, you want to chat? I think that's, and that's probably a little bit of like fear and just, you know, connection to the original business that you built that you're like, I don't know. Can I, can I show up in this new way? Is this what I meant to do? I know. Cause it's like, that's how we made our money for so long.
00:06:13
Speaker
And that's our identity, right? You're known as a photographer. I'm known as a wedding planner. So what do we do as we are growing in new ways?
00:06:22
Speaker
Okay, so that's your biggest accomplishment kind of like understanding that this is a new beginning for you. Yeah, I have this little drawing on the mirror in my bathroom that I drew that said it's got a picture of a plant. And it says I give myself permission to prosper
Maintaining Focus and Community Support
00:06:43
Speaker
and grow. And I always think about the idea of like when you stay in
00:06:48
Speaker
Imagine a plant, like if you keep it in the small little pot, it's going to stay that small, right? Like it's not going to grow. But if you give it a bigger pot or you move it outside and you plant it in the ground, it can grow from this tiny little 10-inch plant to this four-foot tree or hopefully bigger. But I think about that often because
00:07:14
Speaker
I have this little plant that someone gave me when we moved into our house seven years ago, and it was. It sat on the counter. It was in this tiny little pot. I wasn't giving it enough sun, and I moved it, kind of nurtured it, and now it is. It's taller than my nine-year-old daughter. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I think about that as the evolution of a business owner for you, for me, for someone that's listening to this. It's acknowledging when it's time to find a bigger pot.
00:07:42
Speaker
It reminds me of like the little shop of horror. It's like, feed me Seymour. That's scary. I don't know. I don't know. No, I mean, I think that was like kind of a mic drop moment. That'll be my audiogram. But I keep asking my therapist like, how do I, you know, what do I do? What do I do? And she's like, you have to give yourself space for it to work. And it's scary because
00:08:07
Speaker
Like I am investing a lot into the coaching business, you know, like having coaches and sales pages and yada, yada, yada. So I just always feel like I need this money coming in from the weddings. But then I'm like, if I keep doing these weddings, like I'm not going to have time for my students.
00:08:23
Speaker
I know. I think about that too. It's like you only have so many hours in the day and so much energy and bandwidth. And if you're putting it towards growing the weddings and the photography, like wedding side of things, then you're not able to put it towards growing what you really want to spend time growing, right?
00:08:44
Speaker
Yeah. So how did you start the membership? Was it just a learning process? And how did you think of membership opposed to online course or one-on-ones or group coaching? Ooh, I love this question. This is great. Back in 2016, I had planners in my market that were reaching out to me and saying, hey, do you do coaching? And I was like, I guess. I don't know. I will. So I started doing one-on-one coaching back
00:09:12
Speaker
then and then I did a little local seminar for planners back in 2018, I think. In 2019, my husband and I went away for a weekend. We do a workation every year where we... Oh, that's so cool. Yeah, we go somewhere. We stayed at this goat farm where you could go cuddle baby goats and we worked and we went to wineries and it was so fun. I love it.
00:09:38
Speaker
I was planning to launch a course at that point. I was like, okay, I'm going to go after building a course. And then the next week after coming back from that orcation, um, someone here in my market, he's a DJ. He invited me to come speak to his membership of DJs. And he talked about how like every month you release new content. And this was really before memberships, cause this was two ish years ago before it was like a boom.
00:10:05
Speaker
And something just clicked to me. I was like, Oh, a membership. It should be a membership, not a course. Not I have, I have so much that I want to cover that it would be hard to do it in just a course. And I know you can release like multiple different versions of courses. Um, but yeah, so the membership was born. Um, I know. Cause after like 11 years, you have like so much content. You know how to blog, you know how to pin, you know how to do this and SEO and network and blah, blah, blah.
00:10:35
Speaker
Yeah, and I think what I really wanted to be a part of it was the community because I did not have that as a new planner. I did not have like people peers that I could lean on and trust and call and ask questions about that environment really wasn't like the whole concept of community over competition was not what it is now when 11 years ago when I came into the industry.
00:10:58
Speaker
So yeah, I launched the Planner's Vault back in February of 2020, like three weeks before the pandemic. Oh, interesting. So what was the biggest struggle in this membership for our wedding planners, just so I could learn a little bit?
00:11:14
Speaker
the biggest struggle for them?
Sales Calls and Client Relationships
00:11:16
Speaker
No, for you. Just going through this. Oh my gosh. It was leading a group of wedding planners through a global pandemic when events were shut down. And I had launched this membership with the plan of like, hey, raise your rates.
00:11:35
Speaker
like charge what you're worth. Here's all the things about social media and here's all these things that I feel like your client experience and then
00:11:45
Speaker
three weeks in, the world shut down, the event industry shut down, and I had these new wedding planners, a lot of them like zero, one year in, just left their full-time job to go after their dream. And I felt completely, wow, this leads so much into our topic. I felt completely inadequate to lead them through something that I had never experienced and didn't
00:12:13
Speaker
know exactly what the right things to say and do were myself with my own business. Yeah, but you just had to show up, right? Yeah, just had to show up. Because my framework is getting on the vendor list, mastering the sales call and a lead magnet, and then blogging SEO. What is your secret sauce? What's your Woo factor? What's your Megan factor?
00:12:35
Speaker
Yes. For me, I think it's relationships and being curious about the question. So getting on the preferred vendor list ties into that as well, because I think it's all about building relationships with the wedding pros that you want to refer business to you, as well as building such trusting relationships with your clients that they become a referral machine for you. So that's it. It's the relationship. I love it. It's like the old school way of it.
00:13:11
Speaker
Don't talk about yourself all the time. Yeah, totally. No, it's interesting because I've, I think I made a online course during the pandemic and like a ebook and mini course about mastering the sales call.
00:13:25
Speaker
And you know, it's not easy making a course, even if it's mini, it's like, you have to go through so many rounds and mindset shifts. But you had an episode about your sales call and I'm like, damn, she just said it like, really good, like much better than me in like, 20 minutes, maybe 15 minutes. I was like, with your sweet voice. And you said about like, giving the coffee. I was like, well, that's the genius that the law of
00:13:52
Speaker
I thought I got it for the first time. I was like, that's genius. I love it. Oh, thank you. Yeah. And again, that goes back to...
00:14:03
Speaker
It took me years of doing things the wrong way and saying things the wrong way. It's funny that you, this again, so we're talking about like quieting your inner critic. When I do a solo podcast episode, it takes me that 20 minute episode that you're like, oh, that was so easy. She just knocked that out and put it out there into the world. I probably spent like three to four hours
00:14:29
Speaker
writing, rewriting, adjusting the way that I was making sure that everything came out of my brain. It's like a messy brain dump that then I formulate and readjust and then I record it and then I get in my head about
00:14:47
Speaker
Is this even going to resonate with anyone? Does anyone listen to this? Is someone else listening to this and thinking that's total crap? That's not the way that it should be done. I go through that with just about every
00:15:02
Speaker
a podcast or blog post or every month in my membership, I release new content. So I release things that are going to be helpful to the members in there. Yeah. And when I press publish, there's all the content.
00:15:18
Speaker
I have this mental moment and I know that people listening to your podcast right now that struggle with this as well, this is going to resonate with them, but it's like I have that moment where I'm like, well, that's absolute crap. What I put out there is just complete crap and everyone's going to figure that out and I'm a complete fraud.
00:15:37
Speaker
Oh my God. I mean, first of all, oh, all the time. Okay. First of all, like your stuff is amazing. So thank you. Yeah. Just keep pushing and you're just going to get better. Um, secondly, like me and Brian, you were talking about like our period cycles, like, so she kind of tracks everything. So she knows like when she's going to be like, Oh, I'm amazing. And then the other week she's going to be like, Oh, I'm gonna come.
00:15:58
Speaker
plea idiot. So it's interesting. And even like David Foster on his documentary, he's like, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I feel like the king of the world. And on Fridays, I feel like a piece of shit. Like, I feel like imposter syndrome. And I was like, Oh my God, even David Foster, like thinks that it's so interesting. I have one question before we go into our like hot topic, just for my selfish reasons.
Podcasting as a Marketing Tool
00:16:21
Speaker
But what's like the best way you marketed yourself for your membership? So like the wedding planners because it's hard to like transition from like your target market is the wedding couples and then to the wedding planners. So what's like your secret sauce?
00:16:41
Speaker
Well, I started, um, a separate Instagram account, um, for the planner's vault. I have three Instagram accounts. So I have one for my planning business, the Southern's way. And then when we started the podcast three years ago, I have one for the podcast and then we have one for, um, the membership. And I think honestly, I had no idea at the time and I'm so happy that you have started this podcast. Like truly the podcast changed.
00:17:10
Speaker
the trajectory of my career. I did not know that when I started it. I did it just for fun.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it changed the conversations that I've had with people, the connections that I've made, the doors that it's open. The vision, the big vision. I just ran a report. So 60 members, I just welcomed in this past week and I ran a report because I have something when they sign up, like who referred you or where did you hear about us? And it got me because this is the, this launch, this is our, let's see, February, August, February, this is our fourth launch.
00:17:55
Speaker
So many of them, it was podcast, podcast, podcast, podcast, podcast. And I thought, gosh, for all the hours that I've put into bringing this baby to life and showing up every week, it's finally paying off, finally. It's watering the plant, like you said. That's right. Grow, grow, grow. Okay, so I wanted to get into our hot topic. I think we could talk later offline about how to help my podcast, but
00:18:24
Speaker
Okay, so our hot topic is quieting your inner critic and aka imposter syndrome So you could tell us why you chose that topic and then kind of take it away with tip number one yeah, so I chose this topic because it's something that I Feel very very passionate about is something that I struggle with myself. It's something that I'm continuing to try to
00:18:50
Speaker
not necessarily overcome, but just better understand why, uh, we as entrepreneurs, why we as females, why we as I'm an Enneagram three, are you? Oh my gosh. Okay. So Enneagram threes tend to struggle a lot with this. Um, I think, I think it's this interesting thing. I think entrepreneurs, I think females, I think those that identify as achievers on the Enneagram, I think a lot of us in the wedding industry, like when you hit all four of those,
00:19:20
Speaker
it is like a cyclone of imposter syndrome for a lot of reasons. Yeah, because we need affirmation from them. Yeah, and we're surrounded by beauty, right? Our livelihoods are about creating this perfect vision of someone's day. So we are used to
00:19:40
Speaker
having to perform at that level. We're used to seeing our peers do that as well. That is the work that our businesses are attached to. Um, and I think that, uh, I look back, um, on like journey of imposter syndrome for me and that inner critic, and it is, it's like this very negative, um, voice that is always assuming the worst that is constantly like saying, well,
00:20:07
Speaker
you got lucky there like lucky or people see a version of you that Isn't really true. Those are the the negative that's that inner critic in my head that is always going off I I realized that like I've been doing it for decades, but it really when I took over a business back in 2010 it was like the perfect challenge for
00:20:36
Speaker
proving others wrong, like going out there and I got into this hustle mentality, like I will build this business, I will hustle, I will grow, I will be the best in the market. Yes. And so I think that when I think about imposter syndrome and I think about like what I would want someone that is listening to this podcast, what I would want their major takeaways to be is that
00:21:04
Speaker
If you look at my business and you say, wow, she's built this wedding planning business. She has a podcast. She has a membership. She's a mom. She's got all these things. Like she's made it. When I get to that, I don't know how she does it. When I get to that level, I'll have made it as well. And I won't struggle with these feelings. And what I want someone to know is that I don't think there is a level of achievement or success in business when you have
00:21:31
Speaker
I'm doing air quotes here when you have made it because no one, not billionaires, not wedding pros, not your favorite celebrity, like no one has it all figured out, but it's easy to assume from how it's presented on social media that success has led to like
00:21:55
Speaker
no stress, no anxiety, no overthinking, no overanalyzing, but it's just not true. And that's why I just love, love, love this topic. Okay. So that was actually tip number one. So even it's just kind of telling you, like making you understand that there's always, you're always going to have this feeling no matter what level, like there's never like, I made it, like
00:22:19
Speaker
Like we can celebrate with old fashions like we were talking about earlier, but we're always going to feel like that. So just kind of like ride it out. I mean, I think it's not necessarily, I think there are tips for coping with it and there are things that you can do. And I will have some of those that I would love to share in just a bit, but it's just acknowledging that it doesn't go away when you reach a certain point in life. There are just certain practices and certain mindset shifts that you have to consider.
00:22:48
Speaker
you have to keep working on or else you're going to kind of fall back into
00:22:55
Speaker
your same thought patterns. Or like you said, Carissa, maybe it's acknowledging you know that there are valleys and peaks to the way that you view yourself and acknowledging those, whether it's on your cycle or whether it's certain days of the week or whether it is periods of exhaustion or things like that that bring out that inner critic, just knowing a little bit more about you is going to be helpful as well.
Handling Negative Thoughts and Inner Child
00:23:25
Speaker
I think when I get kind of down on myself like in at night and I'm feeling kind of crappy, I just it's nice to know that in the morning, it's I'm not going to feel like that anymore. It's just being like tired and overworked. But in the morning, I'm just like right back up. That's such a good point. And that's almost like I haven't really dug into this research, but it's kind of the idea of the inner child and that
00:23:52
Speaker
when you get really tired or stressed out or like things feel overwhelming.
00:23:57
Speaker
Like there's kind of that inner child in you that like needs to be put to bed. Like it's time to like, tell that, tell that version of you like, Hey, this is just a day. This is not forever. And there's a fresh start waiting on the other side. Totally. My four year old was like crying because I took away her like a wipe and I was like, okay, she's done. You can see it, right? Like you can see it in your kids. I know I can. Like when my daughter loses her, like,
00:24:24
Speaker
three cent plastic toy that she got from school or I tell her to go put her shoes up and she's just absolutely losing it. She wears that outwardly. We wear it inwardly
Finding Focus in Business
00:24:36
Speaker
because we've grown into these adults and we have to be proper and we can't melt down all day long and throw temper tantrums over things.
00:24:44
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, before you go into tip number two, I kind of wanted advice for me because I like, you know, I've been a coach for a year and a half and I have like gotten like my students on like vendor lists or they got themselves on vendor lists with my help and like asking a sales call. And then I get like confused sometimes. And then I'll go into like, Oh, should I be doing like a marketing agency? Is this, can I really get like these people results? And I kind of get in my head and I'm like, should I just be like doing SEO or like helping people blog?
00:25:14
Speaker
So like, is there like a big vision poster you have on your wall or like you just kind of know or like, how do I stay focused?
00:25:23
Speaker
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00:26:06
Speaker
That's a really great question. And to be transparent, that's something that I struggle with still as well.
Overcoming Others' Opinions
00:26:14
Speaker
I think what happens is I start looking at, and this is going to lead really nicely into tip number two, but sometimes I find myself listening to someone else's podcast or taking in tips from another coach. And that's where I start to be like, wait, do I?
00:26:32
Speaker
Do I even know what I'm talking about on this topic? Should I be showing up and providing help to others? Because maybe I'm not an expert here. But then I have to take a moment and acknowledge that, and this would be for you as well, Carissa, it's like your years of experience and the way that you have built your business and the way that you have created relationships and your
00:26:57
Speaker
History of how you got to where you were like that is 100% completely unique to you. There's so many different ways to get on a vendor list and there's so many different ways to do SEO and there's so many different ways to what was it master the sales call. Yeah.
00:27:17
Speaker
Yeah, like my podcast on that, that's not like the gold standard of it. And same thing with like, I said that for me, my woo factor is building relationships and like making someone feel seen and heard. And yours is something different. And that's the coolest part is like, we can all show up and we can all provide insight in the people that are meant to learn from you
00:27:44
Speaker
If you put out there something that you're passionate about, they're going to make their way to you. And it's totally okay that someone else is doing like they might be talking about it in a different way that speaks to a whole other subset of people.
00:27:58
Speaker
Yeah, I need to be just true to myself and not have some positive syndrome. Tip number two would be wasting energy on what others think is energy not put in towards growing your business or taking those leaps.
00:28:19
Speaker
That one is something I do I constantly remind myself of is again I'm putting out content on an email list a podcast on Instagram and anyone can find that right like anyone can look at that and anyone can think like I don't know if that what she's saying resonates with me or maybe they have a different viewpoint of how that should be handled.
00:28:40
Speaker
But I look at it as like we all have if you think about your phone battery and it has to be charged. So we would put it to bed at night. We charge it. But if we look at our own like batteries as humans, I can only spend my battery on doing certain things. So if I'm going to spend it worried about like how this other coach is viewing my membership or this podcast that I put out or
00:29:09
Speaker
this particular image that was posted or that I had a typo in my caption or whatever. If I'm wasting my daily battery life on those moments, then I'm not putting it towards like showing up in my membership or spending time with my girls, putting them to bed at night or just like refilling my cup if that's what I need on that particular day. So I'm very conscious as of late and this is truly like
00:29:38
Speaker
I would say 2018 for me was that year of like, wait a second, I can continue to grow as a human being and like be more self-aware and understand like I'm not set and stuck in who I am for the rest of my life. But that was one of those things that like how you spend your energy is truly important and
00:30:01
Speaker
I do these coaching calls with members in the planner's fault and I hear them say like, I don't know, I'm just worried about like what other more established planners in my market are going to think about what I'm doing and this person has a service offering that's kind of like what I want to do and I just think like, gosh, you could choose to keep yourself small.
00:30:23
Speaker
and stay in that plant in that smaller pot or you can take that step and just put it out there. Like you said, Carissa, be true to yourself and show up and let yourself
00:30:38
Speaker
grow versus worrying about what other people think. We only get one shot at this week. This is it. We're doing it. We're in the middle of it. Most of you, if you're listening to this podcast, you're halfway through your life, I would assume. You can continue to worry about what other people think or you can just be like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to go for it. Megan, I just had an epiphany about my life when you're talking. Tell me what you got.
00:31:05
Speaker
Well, I was really confused the past couple of days because I felt like my coaching business is not growing as fast as I wanted to. I have people I'm coaching right now, but I thought it would kind of blow up. And so I was thinking I'm making this website and I was thinking to
00:31:22
Speaker
pitch it to photographers or wedding pros, like something I could just say, oh, here's what I offer, like SEO or Pinterest or blogging. And it was racking my brain around it, like a done for you lead magnet with the email sequence. And I think when you were talking right now, I just realized like what I'm best out is the sales, the mastering the sales call. So if I could actually like reach out to photographers and say like, I will actually help you like personally with your sales call, like that's it, like my one woo factor.
00:31:51
Speaker
thing and then like literally like have me and my husband like on the call with them and like critiquing them. I think I could charge big money for that because I'm making them a lot more money. So thank you. Oh, you're welcome. Yeah, I think
00:32:07
Speaker
Um, doing a few, like in my membership, I have a mock consultation call where it's, yeah. So being able to like let them watch it in action and then also have like some practicing and like coaching that goes along with it. I mean, I think that could be
00:32:25
Speaker
Yeah, I think that sounds like something that you really enjoy. That's where your passion would lie. That's where you're like, this is how I can show up and help others. Yes, it is my passion. Yeah, and I think what's probably happening is you're deluding your offerings to where you're not sure about them, so other people aren't sure about them either. Yes, exactly. Yeah. That's so interesting. Thank you for
00:32:50
Speaker
making that clear to me. You're definitely a coach at heart. Thank you. Thank you. I enjoy it. I love it. Okay. Take us away with tip number three. Okay. So as I mentioned in tip number one, I don't think there's that like check
Addressing Negative Thoughts and Personal Growth
00:33:04
Speaker
box. I have conquered imposter syndrome, but I do think there are some actionable tips, some book recommendations that have really helped me and things that I try to focus on that are going to help me like
00:33:20
Speaker
move out of that space in my mind. So when I think about actual tips that I would love to share with your listeners of moving past this and overcoming moments of imposter syndrome, but not overcoming it as a whole, is when you start to hear that negative voice, that voice that is like,
00:33:39
Speaker
God, you're not good enough. This person has a better course. I don't know if I should continue down this path. Just acknowledge it and just say like, hey, I hear you, but I'm going to ask you to stop right now and find a way to move past where that's coming from. Is it? Is it? Does it come up?
00:33:58
Speaker
in moments of you're scrolling on social media, does it come up because you're listening to someone else's podcast? Where are those moments coming from? And that, to me, is a sign that I have. There have been other accounts on Instagram that I find myself feeling bad about myself for. So I lovingly unfollow those people because it's just not serving me. It's just making me go to a place that I don't want to go.
00:34:28
Speaker
So, that is one thing. I would do, I think my thing was going on the phone right in the morning. It kind of like made me feel- Starts your day. Yeah, like comparing myself. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I have two more tips. Okay, go for it.
00:34:46
Speaker
I read this in a book and I want to give credit to the author. So I read a book called The Imposter Cure by Dr. Jessamee Hibbert and this is one of my book recommendations. Okay. But I listened to it on Audible and she's got a lovely accent. But she said something that one of the things to think about when it comes to imposter syndrome is imagine
00:35:08
Speaker
if you were to go back to your 18-year-old self right now and tell your 18-year-old self about what you're doing. Think about, Carissa, what you're doing. You are a mom of two. You have built a successful photography business.
00:35:25
Speaker
You are an entrepreneur of however many years and now like you are in the midst of like us coming out of a pandemic. You have been building a whole other division of your business. Like if you said all of those things to your 18 year old self, like wow, I think about like what my 18 year old self would be like, you'd be like, what? She has a, what's a podcast? One is balancing, like being able to provide for my family. And
00:35:55
Speaker
Um, help other entrepreneurs build their business. Like that's the kind of that moment of like, Hey, you kind of are a bad-ass even if you get in your head otherwise.
00:36:07
Speaker
You are a freaking badass and I am too. Yeah, yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Speaking of badass, that's another one of my book recommendations. So I had three. One was The Imposter, which I mentioned. One was Yes, You Are a Badass by James Centura. I love that book. And then the other one that I love is The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, a big Brene Brown fan. Yeah.
00:36:30
Speaker
Thank you for those. If you do our last tip, and we'll go into rapid fire questions, because I'm going to get to know more about you.
Envisioning Potential Clients to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
00:36:38
Speaker
These are all so good. Last tip on working through those feelings of imposter syndrome, and this came from
00:36:48
Speaker
My friend, Lindsay Lucas, who I had on the weddings for real podcast, but we talked about this a little bit and she said something to me back before I launched the membership that I still go to this place when I need it. And it is, imagine that future client on their couch that you are meant to serve. So whether that is the couple that needs you as a photographer, not you Carissa, because you're getting out of that.
00:37:14
Speaker
or the photographer that is trying to build their business that they keep not nailing it on their sales call and they're struggling through it. They know that they have a passion for this business, but they're just not quite sure how to bring in clients and how to understand what the value is or speak that to
00:37:39
Speaker
their potential couples. So just imagine they're out there. They're 100% out there and they need you. They need the exact way that you are going to help them grow. But if you are focused on, oh, I'm not
00:37:54
Speaker
I don't know if I'm meant to do this or this person is better than me." You're not able to show up and put that energy out in the world for them. So just imagine that person. There's someone out there right now, Carissa, that could really, really, really benefit from the way that you would help them. And the only way that they can reach you is by you showing up and being in the universe, putting out what you're supposed to be putting out.
00:38:23
Speaker
Oh, I love that. Okay. I'm going to recap real fast. So number one, no one has it all. So we're always going to go through this no matter what, like in our business five, 10, 15 years from now. So we just kind of have to cope with it. Number two, don't waste your time on worrying because it could be used to be amazing.
00:38:47
Speaker
Number three, that negative voice in your head, like how do we get rid of it? Like, what makes you negative? Like, is it a toxic friend? Is it scrolling through Instagram? Is it people you follow on social media that are not so positive? And number four is being proud of yourself.
00:39:08
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And then tip number five is just someone you know Less experienced in us like younger than us like they really need us so we have to show up for them and we can't be you know getting in our own heads because You know when I'm coaching they ask like the simplest questions and you I get kind of surprised that that's the questions that they want to know because I've been doing that this for so long. So it just smells like so natural to me. So it's interesting
00:39:37
Speaker
Cool. These are all amazing. So I guess I'm going to go into my rapid fire questions, but let's see, Megan, what is your favorite, like get a heck yes sales technique from your dream clients? Yes. So I mentioned this on the podcast episode, but I like to lead on a sales call with a question of like, especially from a plan or perspective, I like to say, so what's keeping you up at night when it comes to your wedding and for
00:40:07
Speaker
planners, that's just such a gate opener of the pain points that the clients are feeling. And as soon as I hear that pain point, whether it is time, whether it is budget, whether it is overwhelm, whether it is family dynamics, once I hear that pain point, I know I've got them because I know it sounds so like I've got them.
00:40:26
Speaker
but it's like I know how to speak to that. Yeah. I never heard that one. That is freaking life changing. Yeah. Oh my God. I want to tattoo my head like pain point. Like that's all I've been hearing for the past couple years. Yes. Okay. What's your tip for me? You're a mom of three girls. I'm a mom of two girls tip parenting tip for girls, girl, mom. Oh man. I love that question. Um, okay. So I started this thing with my oldest daughter when she was five years old. She's nine now.
00:40:56
Speaker
And this is not an original tip. I got it from someone else, but I created a space for her where like, if she wants to have a conversation or she wants to ask like an uncomfortable question or she just like has something like she wants to ask me about her body or whatever, we do something where like she can invite me to come sit on her bed or we can go sit on my bed. And that is a safe space where she can ask something. She knows I'm not going to get upset. I'm not going to get, she doesn't have to be embarrassed.
00:41:23
Speaker
And we're just starting to have like now that she's nine, like the conversations are like getting a little bit more interesting. But I did that early on because I want when she's 15, 16, 18, I still want to have that tradition where like she knows that I'm her source of safe information and she can come to me for that.
00:41:46
Speaker
I love that. Is there something that you call it? I know I listened to a podcast that really helped me. Like me and my daughter call it connection time. So even if it's for like two minutes or like two seconds, we're like connection. And we like look each other in the eye and she's like, she's, um, papers for, and then Cali is one.
00:42:07
Speaker
Oh, gosh. Yeah. There's like an old soul. So she's very like sensitive. And that's really sweet. I love that. I know. It helps a lot instead of like, you know, sometimes I'm so busy, like I don't even get to look at her face until like I'm going to bed. I know. I have those moments, too. OK, let's see. Favorite thing you love about your husband.
00:42:28
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Honestly, a lot of things. We've been married 11 years. We've been through like three children, him leaving a job, me building a business, all the things. I think just like I know
00:42:45
Speaker
I know he's got me. Like I know that he will help me through the hard parts. And we saw a lot of those last year with the girls being home and I suppose being entrepreneurs, but just like he has my best interest. He will cheerlead me on. And he's that person, gosh, with someone that struggles with imposter syndrome, he's that person that is like, what are you, you're amazing. Like why do you not understand that? Like he's, he's, he is so great at that.
00:43:13
Speaker
Oh, that's so nice. I think in marriage, loyalty is the most important thing, knowing they're going to be there no matter what. Through the rough days and the valleys and everything. Yes, because we meet them with kiddos. You could ask me a question since you're a podcaster.
00:43:30
Speaker
Hmm. Let's see. What should I ask you? Uh, okay. What is the, gosh, I would love to have thought of this cause I have so many like questions all the time. Um, here's my signature question that I ask just for fun. This one's not deep. Yours are wonderful. Um, if you could eat one food for all your meals for 30 days straight, what would you eat?
00:43:53
Speaker
Rice is life. Rice is life. What kind of rice? Just like white rice? I mean fried rice, but even my DJ friend, he makes fun of me because we were at TJ Fridays and I'm like, um, excuse me, do you guys have rice? Like now we have a loaded potato fries. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. I'm a total rice girl. Like I'm a carbs girl, true and true. So I'm skinny with like the big gut. Yeah. I say I'm a carbaterian because
00:44:22
Speaker
Oh, that's a good one. Cool. I love this conversation. Tell everyone more about your podcast, where they can find you, and then also your Instagram handles. Sure.
00:44:31
Speaker
Yep. So weddings for real. We started back in 2018. It's a podcast for wedding pros. Definitely don't listen to the first 20 episodes cause they're total garbage. We didn't know what we were doing at that point. Um, and we're everywhere. You can listen to podcasts, but you can follow us on Instagram at at weddings for real. And then, um, if you happen to be a wedding planner, listening to this, my planner membership is called the planner's fault and that's, uh, at planner's fault on Instagram.
00:44:59
Speaker
Yeah. And you got a lot of good guests on your podcast. Oh, thank you. I know. I'll have to have you on too. Oh yeah. Thank you. Well, I love this conversation. Stick around. I'm going to end recording. Bye, Megan. Bye.
00:45:14
Speaker
Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine. See you next time, wedding pros.