Transcript
Speaker: Happy Will Wednesdays everyone. Hope you had a great 4th of July weekend. Stop giving your expertise and your knowledge out for free. Turn it into a digital product and have it run on autopilot.
Speaker: Your life changes when you start making money in your sleep. I have a link to get started. Join the 24-hour AI challenge. $27. it. hop on it So welcome back to Get A Heck Yes. Today's guest is someone who truly gets it when we mean lead in life, business and beyond.
Speaker: And I'm so excited to introduce you to Dr. and Lonnie Jones, clinical psychologist, advisor, speaker and entrepreneur. She's not your average shrink. She's a powerhouse who bridges a gap between mindset, leadership and purpose.
Speaker: So whether you need a life coach, business mentor, or a leadership guide, get ready because she's about to help you design a life that screams heck yes.
Speaker: Welcome to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host Carissa and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all.
Speaker: I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
Speaker: Time hacks because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. I want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey.
Speaker: i hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesdays so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon.
Speaker: Hey everyone, welcome back to Get a Heck Yes with your girl, Carissa Wu. i am here with Dr. Lani Jones. She is your advisor. She's also a clinical psychologist, but not just your run-of-the-mill shrink.
Speaker: She's an advisor, speaker, entrepreneur, and she bridges the gap between life, business, and leadership. Life is messy and juggling it all can seem overwhelming. So for nearly two decades, she's helped ambitious leaders navigate uncharted terrain and clarity and purpose, maximizing their impact with all spheres of influence. Welcome, Lani.
Speaker: Hi, Krista. Thanks for having me. I'm excited for this conversation. Yes. And our friend Ed from Super Simple Marketing introduced us and he was on my podcast. It went live yesterday and you're going to go live in like two weeks. So, yay. Awesome. I can't wait. Yeah, I've listened to his. It was a great conversation. So your listeners should go listen to that one as well.
Speaker: Oh, yay. Okay. So tell the audience who you are in a nutshell. So I'm a clinical psychologist by training. I've been in corporate healthcare, but then transitioned to private practice and now in the leadership and business space.
Speaker: um So using my psych skills just in a different capacity in this season. Oh, nice. Who do you like? um Do you help everyone or is there like certain and um group of people that you like to help mostly? Yeah.
Speaker: I love working with entrepreneurs and executives, those who probably they've got a decade or two of their career under their belts. um They've been successful. They've checked a lot of boxes, but now they're kind of like, what's next? Or an oh no moment of, do I just keep doing this for the next 20, 30 years?
Speaker: And so really giving them clarity and helping them um peel away some of those mysteries or figuring out where do I go next. Yeah, I love that. All right. We're going to take it back, back into time and to young Lani. What were you like as a kid? Where did you grow up? Tell me anything about your family, anything you want to share.
Speaker: So I grew up in rural Indiana in a farming community. um I was a very precocious child, um always so just curious about the world. like I was the kid sitting in the corner of the library like reading encyclopedias ah just because I wanted to know all about the rest of the world. And this was like pre-internet days.
Speaker: ah That establishes my age there, too. I remember that. I'm over the country. And so yeah being surrounded by farmland, and yeah, just was in trance with like Egypt and pyramids and the seven wonders of the world. And so that was kind of the start of my curiosity of wanting to explore.
Speaker: Oh, interesting. What got you into it? Like, did you just pick up a book and then you just couldn't stop like reading more books? Yeah. Like literally I was reading the encyclopedias.
Speaker: um And so, cause I just wanted to say, oh, this is out there. Oh, this, oh, America's pretty young, relatively speaking. Look at like these centuries and thousands of years of architecture and,
Speaker: ah artwork and everyone creating. Wow. That's so interesting. me and you are like the opposite. That's why I'm kind of intrigued. How does one do that?
Speaker: That's awesome. Okay. So tell me about like your family. What was the family dynamics and any siblings? Yep. I'm the middle child. So an older brother, younger sister.
Speaker: um My brother and I are very much alike. We're both very competitive, also both entrepreneurs and business owners now. My sister, a little more low key, likes her salary and those types of comforts. And um so I was probably the one who had the most curiosity, though, that wanted to explore from the early age, but was also raised in an environment that was very risk averse, I would say, in terms of The goal is to grow up, go to college, get the secure job, get the pension, you know get the whole benefits. like
Speaker: That is what you know the goal was in life. so Oh, yeah. Did your parents have like nine to five corporate jobs? My mom was a dental assistant. um And then my father was in the agriculture world and other industry and so had salaried positions and benefits and security in that realm. Yeah.
Speaker: Nice. What were you like in high school?
Speaker: I was always wanting a way out. um I didn't quite appreciate the small town life at that point. Now looking back, some of the values and just lessons and hard work and work ethic and all those things I learned, I can appreciate it more. But I would say, yeah from those youngest days, I was always like, way Where's my next travel? Where's my next travel?
Speaker: when When can I leave the country even? And so – Could you do that? There was another life with like – Yes. From all the books that you read. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Were you involved in any activities – So i was a year-round athlete. So soccer and track were two of the big ones. But then I was a part of a lot of like volunteer and leadership organizations, things like that. A lot of community involvement.
Speaker: Nice, nice. Okay, walk me through like the college days. What were you like then? And then you could kind of take it into like early jobs. So college days, I went to a small private liberal arts school um in an urban setting. And so my first taste of the city, and I love just all the opportunities, having everything at your fingertips, also was able to study abroad. um And so having a doctorate, I spent about the first decade of my adulthood in school, i'm going from a master's into a doctorate. um And so kept that curiosity and just how do I learn and learn
Speaker: Also like not wanting to be the smartest person in the room um because I just see everyone else as being like, how can I learn from you? Like what is your lived experience? What's your educational experience? And so was put in a lot of different positions of just learning from people from a lot of different fields, a lot of different backgrounds.
Speaker: um And so was very privileged in that realm to have all those opportunities and to be abroad and to do some extensive traveling and ah So my 20s were yeah all about degrees and um exploring and such. So my first real grown-up job then came when I was about 28 and I was in the hospital setting.
Speaker: Oh, okay. Was it psychology for in a hospital? Yes. Yeah. Clinical psychologist. I was in like ah split position being in a school of medicine. I was clinical faculty and then had like my direct patient care work I was doing.
Speaker: Oh, nice. Okay, cool. Yeah. And you're just like, yeah, just getting degrees. Like nothing. Master's dark doctorate. but Becoming a doctor. That's amazing.
Speaker: um Tell me about like, maybe starting like, maybe wanting more like becoming an entrepreneur like the early days of that. So early on when I was going through all that schooling in the, my things I don't want in life column, it was firmly planted. i don't want a private practice. I never want to be a business owner. Like I don't want to worry about taxes and payrolls. I just want to do my clinical work.
Speaker: And then a few years into that hospital setting, um, I kind of had an, oh no moment. um Like I have worked a decade for this. Like people in those positions were lifers. Like I thought I was going to be a lifer and I love the clinical work I was doing. i just didn't like the environment I was doing it in. Yeah. And so, yeah, yeah. And so I was like, oh crap. Like what, what, do what do I do now? It kind of had a little bit of a crisis. And so transitioned out of there and was doing some like independent contractor work that's in between
Speaker: And then after a year or so that, I was like, all right, I guess we're going to do this private practice thing. Here we go. um And so had that for about six years. And in that time, really ah grew to love business and everything that the opportunities of being a business owner and entrepreneur can afford to you of having full control over your schedule, like really creating all facets of life, that this was just a tool to do that. It wasn't just about the income piece.
Speaker: um It was a lot more than that. And so then out of that, around COVID time, um Just by happenstance, I had gotten this group of executives and entrepreneurs on my caseload because things were a little stressful for a lot of people then and trying to pivot and figure stuff out.
Speaker: And I'm like, man, I really love working with this population because it's really merging my psych with my business knowledge. And so... Some days was like, is this therapy? Are we doing coaching? Yeah, yeah. we'd talking like – little bit of everything. Yeah, yeah. Some were like, okay, they're going through a divorce at home but a reorg in the office.
Speaker: Or how do they navigate their executive team? Or someone on their leadership team just declared, I have ADHD. Like, what's that really mean? And so we were talking through all these issues. Everyone's just like hot messes, right?
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Some, some of it just high, some of us just hide it better than others. That's how I sum it up. Yeah. um And so it's all there. um The anxiety, especially in the time of COVID too, that just like pulled the bandaid off of like all this, these underlying things and coping was challenging ah for a lot of people. And so um just walking with people, navigating that, but then also the business side of it too, of so many unknowns.
Speaker: So. Yeah. Were you, um when you had your private practice, was it like family and marriage? Yeah. um No. So that the that is like the area I did not do. um No couples, no family.
Speaker: So I was predominantly a testing psychologist. So the evaluation side of like autism, ADHD, but then had some women and children would do on the therapy side. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Yeah. I'm just kind of like absorbing everything. I guess one more question before we go into hot topic, but like, what does your business look like right now?
Speaker: So right now I'm focused all on the coaching consulting side. So I do more the traditional model ah with coaching clients, executives, entrepreneurs, and then also I do some B2B with businesses. So bring they sometimes bring me in to work with their leadership teams and ah doing workshops, trainings, things like that.
Speaker: Oh, I love it. That's amazing. Must feel good to come into corporate and be like, this is what I got and this is how I could help you. Yeah. Yeah. I love the diversity of the skills just as a psych I can bring in all the different avenues that I can speak into. So I am loving this newer newish season here.
Speaker: You look so young, so I'm just like, how did you do all this? and like Anyways, okay. Hot topic. What is your hot topic? This is an interesting one. And why is it so near and dear to your heart? Yeah. So out of all this work I've been doing, um i finally had this light bulb moment. like The common thread that's running throughout is I'm working with all these entrepreneurs, executives, ambitious leaders who are looking to transform their success into legacy.
Speaker: Oh, and so- What that means really is like they've done like the 99%, I call it. And so they've checked a lot of the boxes. Like there was a clear goal of I want to get to the C-suite or I want to get my business to six or seven figures.
Speaker: um I've got the house, I've got the family. And then they get there, you know, things are pretty comfortable, stable in the season. And then they're like, So do I just keep doing this? Like, is this it or what's next or what's to come? And it's really like we're talking about this tweaking of this final 1%, I call it.
Speaker: um Because sometimes areas of life need an overhaul. ah But more often than not, we're making these just little tweaks that maybe they aren't even like aware of or don't know to make or they aren't conscious that then 10, 20, 30 years down the road, they're going to be in a totally different place.
Speaker: Interesting. Yeah, like um Stephanie Uchima from Mommy's on the Call, she actually helped me with this podcast because she was like an OG podcaster. But she she said her biggest fear was like that she didn't have a legacy. And I was like, oh, I never thought about that.
Speaker: um I don't know if that's part of my goals, but I'm glad that you're bringing this into my consciousness. Yeah. What like led you to even this word like legacy? Was it from like your clients or like was it from something from like yourself or is it something that you you were you're hearing a lot like, oh, I just don't know like my purpose in life?
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Speaker: Yeah, I think to your point, a lot of people wouldn't use the term legacy. Like they aren't thinking in those terms. Yeah. But when we were talking about, okay, they have means, they have opportunities.
Speaker: There's almost like too many good things to say yes to. And if they have financial means or they have kids in the picture, it is kind of like, what's going to be lasting? Like what is purposeful? What is not just, I'm here to enjoy in this present moment. And so starting to think through some of those, and then just as I was naming my business, um so it's HBL advisory group.
Speaker: um So it's named after my grandmother, Helen, my mother, Brenda, both have since passed. Uh-huh. But I had this very strong legacy set out for me of these very strong women of being very active um in their communities, in their jobs, wow really giving back. I'm like, I felt their presence.
Speaker: And so I'm that's really what I'm doing. I'm just carrying on these legacy of these really strong women. and how do you we show up just as well in the living room as in the boardroom and being impactful in all of our spheres of influence?
Speaker: Interesting. So um when I'm thinking of community, like what type of communities were they involved with? So my grandmother was a homemaker until all of her children were out. And then she went to the bank and started as a bank teller, had no college education. But by the time she retired, she was a vice president of the bank. wow And so just, you know, working within their skill sets and what they had, um a lot of volunteer work, a lot of faith-based organizations, very active in the school communities that way they were in. Like my mom, you know, was the PTO president, the athletic boosters president, um all the things that just really being aware of their communities and how are they using their resources for the greater good. and
Speaker: Oh, that's so cool. I just imagine her just like the people that are involved, you know, people are always looking like they see her like doing the the extra legwork. And then that's what kind of like catapults her out to the the top to the VP.
Speaker: Yeah. With my mom, um we had some little points of contention growing up because she was very local for focus, huh which I absolutely respect. And I think we're all given our different, you know, visions or desires because that speaks into our spheres. Whereas I was like the international one. I'm like, all right, when do I get to go?
Speaker: Like where when am i out of the country? And so just learning to respect both of those differences and vision and desires. So Yeah, I mean, I've been trying to ask this question for a while, so I don't want to forget about this. But like, and let's we'll go back go back to the 1%. But like you said, you are a nomad for the past year. Tell us about that.
Speaker: Yeah. So, um, my private practice was really only the only thing keeping me physically in the Indianapolis area. Um, and so once I closed that just over a year ago now, I decided i'm going to sell my house, put everything in storage and we're going to go explore, um and figure this out. And so for the last year now, I've been traveling around, been to a couple other different countries, short term, um, have spent time all around the country,
Speaker: Spent a lot of time in Utah, Tennessee, Michigan, other points in between. And so at least for probably the next year, going to keep doing more of that. Wow. I mean, just like knowing you from the short conversation, like that is so you, but then it also is very like ballsy, you know, to just like sell your house.
Speaker: Was there some sort of like... um burning desire or maybe like aha moment? Like if I don't do this now, then I'll never do it. And like, what was the process of like actually doing it?
Speaker: So in the fall of 23, I took a six week sabbatical. I spent most of the time abroad and, but on the sabbatical though, I was not thinking about closing my practice at all. Like I was literally in London, like buying artwork for my office because I'm like, it needs a refresh.
Speaker: ah But then my first day back in clinic, three hours in um it was like, okay, we're done. like It's time for a change. And then looking back, I could see, oh I've actually like been shutting things down for the last year. like There were some major contracts.
Speaker: for I could justify for business reasons that I had let go. There had been speaking opportunities I had turned down. And I would have said, like because I was at kind of that precipice of like, so do I just keep on doing this for the next 20 years? like Is this it? And I would have said,
Speaker: Like I was missing the intellectual simulation, a creative outlet, just the flexibility um to move around, to travel more. um And so, yeah, it was a very just decisive moment of, OK, we're going to totally pivot here.
Speaker: So what has your I know this is a broad question, but like what what has your experience been the last year and like you the highlights of your nomad life? It's all been generally pretty positive.
Speaker: Now, there's been a lot of ah learning logistics just because I literally don't have a home base and figuring out things like mail and you know business addresses and what stayed in taxes and things like that.
Speaker: um But generally speaking, yeah, we we live in this connected day and age of accessing last minute Airbnb or a hotel, because I find some people are very worried about that. I'm like, y'all like worst case here.
Speaker: like, I'm, if I'm in America or even another country, I just walk into a hotel for a night, like not a big deal. um and so, um, no, no major mishaps, uh, thus far. Oh, that's so fun. And then what are your like favorite places that you've been?
Speaker: Park City is one of my favorites in the off season. So I am not a skier. um And so it's ah this small little mountain town, great trail systems, great weather.
Speaker: um So I like just, it's a great place to like hunker down and really get some work done and be outside like the majority of the day. so Wow, that sounds so cool. Oh, my god I want to live vicariously through you.
Speaker: Okay, back to the 1% legacy. Do you have any tips for like wedding pros on maybe how to start first thinking about this concept and then putting it into action?
Speaker: Yeah, I'd say look at your calendar because your calendar doesn't lie. And so that is a very factual process. practical first step in front of you, like what is on there out of obligation or even guilt or in, especially if you have kids or a partner, like what is on there about them? Like that you've like been guilted into as well too, because it's not just about your, your responsibilities, but your entire life responsibilities on there too.
Speaker: And so Pick one thing. If you're like, this is too overwhelming. this I'm just busy. There is no time to even like daydream or think about what could be different. like Start with your calendar and go through a little calendar audit and say, what's one thing I could take away? Or just one thing I don't even want on here.
Speaker: Oh, interesting. Okay. So it's kind of like um decluttering your schedule a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. And then how does that translate into schedule?
Speaker: So we're in this like era of decision fatigue. Like there is, we're always being bombarded with opportunities, with options, even like, what do you want to eat tonight? Do you want to door dash? Do you want to Uber eat? Do you want to go out? Do you want to stay in?
Speaker: Like it's. There's always something. And so it's actually when we start parsing things down and getting super clear on what's most purposeful for you, most meaningful. So we talk like mission, vision, values, things like that, because then when you know those and you're crystal clear on those, then your yeses and your noes get a lot easier.
Speaker: Not only like for you, but for your family, it's like, does that align with what I'm trying to accomplish here in your business, in your personal life? And so then things can start running a lot more smoothly and usually feeling more fulfilled and purposeful along the way.
Speaker: Interesting. Okay. So I know this could be a whole Ted talk, but mission, vision, value. um What is like your mission? And then um I guess you could talk about your vision and value.
Speaker: and and necessari Yeah. So my mission is to work with ambitious leaders and to help them create and maximize their potential across their spheres of influence.
Speaker: And so i do have a very clear 2035 vision. Um, for me, it just, I did this seven, about seven months ago. um and usually for most people, we go like the next two to three years, we figure out what's makes sense because a decade out can feel very overwhelming.
Speaker: But just for me in this transition, it just really made sense. Um, and so I have a 2035 vision. It's broken down into every single area of my life, personally, professionally, relationships,
Speaker: even where I'm living, all of those types of things, travel, financial um responsibilities, things like that. And so now it's like, okay, When I'm looking at opportunities, does this align with that vision?
Speaker: Wow. Yeah. Because if you don't really plan it, like it just could go like in a blink of an eye and people say, oh my God, where did the past 10 years go? You know? Yep. Absolutely. speaking on like the decision fatigue, I think it was like two, three weeks ago was graduation for the kids. And it was like, okay.
Speaker: Oh, my God. That week was jam-packed with stuff. I think, like, one day probably, like, six things. And it made me, like, really depressed. I got really anxious. And, like, then the day after, I didn't want to do anything, which is, like, so not like me. But it made me, like, really, like, nervous.
Speaker: ah was like, how am I going to get to all these things? And they're all important, so that's what the thing. But yeah, I get it. like Especially with like wedding pros, what events to go to. um And then thinking of like, oh, going to the event, but then should I edit or should I focus on the social media or should I blog or should do SEO? And it's just kind of like, or should I watch Netflix or should I hang out with my friends or should I go date night? is kind of like it is kind of like a
Speaker: I just want to hide, know? Yeah. It gets overwhelming and really fast because we're in the day of like with running a business, there is too much information out there almost in the sense, because is it, I go read another book, I go listen to another podcast and it's like, we really have to put on those blinders and get clarity and get focused because other days then you're just left looking at your screen. Like what,
Speaker: where do I even start? Like it feels debilitating because there's so much out there. Yeah. Speaking, just to be clear about the 1%, because I didn't read the title like before this so like intensely, but does it mean like we already did the 99% because we're already like in the business and then the extra 1% is kind of like understanding where we want to take it to the next 10 years or the next, our whole legacy. Is that what it means?
Speaker: Yeah. So the doing the 99% of ua success is like the big things. You got the degree, you started the business, you got it to a stable place. Personally, you feel good about relationships, things like that.
Speaker: And now it's like, how do we do just those little tweaks? How do we get intentional about now using our success and being the most impactful that we can with it?
Speaker: And because oftentimes it's these little one percent adjustments to how we're using our time, our resources, um our relationships, our network that are actually the most impactful piece of Oh, see. Okay. This is all like going full circle to the big mission and like aligning your vision and your values.
Speaker: And then um if it doesn't like make sense with like the top tier of the pyramid, then it just like is kind of a waste of time. Yeah. Or it's not going to ultimately get you where you want to go.
Speaker: And so it's like, you know, putting off the immediate gratification, which that is the society we live on for what you ultimately want or desire. ah got it.
Speaker: It's the long-term thinking. Okay. um Speaking about like during COVID, when you got in this like group of um kind of like CEOs and, you know, some were getting divorced and, but they're like reorganizing their business.
Speaker: What, like maybe aha moments did you give them to like help them with their, their brain? e So we often talk in seasons.
Speaker: And so one of the most difficult parts of COVID specifically was like, there was no end goal. It wasn't just okay, we have to survive for six months or 12 months, or I just got to figure out how to you know put my business in this like holding pattern for this timeframe. And so that was one of the most stressful things.
Speaker: And so if we're talking through seasons, like say a divorce, Yes, there's not a clear how long is this going to take? You know, things can get messy, but there are general patterns that we can speak to um because when we know it's a season of, okay, I've just got to run hard after that, like wedding season, you know, there there are peak seasons of when maybe you are running full force and other times of the year.
Speaker: I can step back and breathe a little bit. yeah And so knowing there's an end point to that can make it much more bearable, can make it easier to cope with the stress. And so, yeah, I'm really big on talking through the seasons and what do we just have to run hard after or endure cope with right now.
Speaker: Yeah, I remember like, well, I've been a wedding photographer for 15 years and usually May was my busiest month. um Sometimes I would have like seven weddings in May, um which is so weird. And then, um but just knowing like how the seasons work, like, oh, well, once it comes November, then...
Speaker: it completely dies down all the way to March, April. So, um, but it took me a while to understand that many, many years. Um, what would you say like your woo factor is like, what makes you stand out from, um maybe other business coaches?
Speaker: Wedding pros. I have a new and exciting opportunity for you to make passive income with digital products and courses and affiliate marketing. The space is booming right now and you have to take a look.
Speaker: Sky is truly the limit in the digital space and you can just stop trading your time for money and scale your business. And life just got a lot easier.
Speaker: Get your weekends back and comment at me at Carissa Wu, the word info, and I'll send you a free sneak peek guide on how to make passive income. And if you're ready to start making money from home while being there for the moments that matter, I can't wait to connect.
Speaker: Definitely the fact that I'm a clinical psychologist. And so I'm clear to say I'm not practicing under that realm, but I'm bringing all that knowledge. And so in one conversation, sometimes with business owners, we're talking to everything about their marriage and their kids and their parenting to KPIs and system processes and navigating like leadership teams or hiring and firing and things like that.
Speaker: um And so for that person who's maybe like, kind of need a guy. Do I need a therapist? Do I need a mentor? Do I need a business coach? Like we can merge those worlds of talking to all things people, both personally and professionally.
Speaker: Yeah, I totally get that because if someone just talking maybe at you about what to do and not like connecting emotionally and like kind of meeting you where you are, like it just feel like meh, meh, meh.
Speaker: Like, do I really want to listen to you? I don't know. What is your best um heck yes sales technique? Like how do you land your dream clients?
Speaker: Just I think being authentic and just owning it, like owning your quirks, your mistakes, um that's going to speak to a dream client way more than some perfectly polished website. You've got an answer for everything type of thing.
Speaker: You know, I'd rather have an initial meeting with someone and be like, hey, I'm not the best fit for you, but here, let me hand you off or here's another resource for you. because I really want to help get you wherever you need to go or want to go, even if it's not with me. So I'm big on that authenticity piece.
Speaker: Oh, interesting. Do you have any like um questions that you ask every single meeting?
Speaker: um Usually we start with, like where do you think you want to go? um And so as a psych, um I definitely unpack that with the layers, because oftentimes by the time we get to the end of our initial conversation, even if it's 45 minutes, like where they initially voice they want to go yeah not at all where they actually want to go Like there's something much deeper or more underlying. um And usually that surface level response is influenced by the environment they grew up on, yeah you know, the pressures of how they decide define success or external influence. And so when we start peeling away
Speaker: Then we get to that, oh, what do you really want? What is the internal desire? Yeah, because someone could say like they want to be promoted, but maybe like deep down inside they know it's more work and they don't want to be promoted.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. And I've worked with um a lot of like mid-level managers and executives in that facet of like, this is what I'm supposed to want. I'm supposed to love the C-suite. I'm supposed to want to get there.
Speaker: But actually, because of all my family responsibilities in this season, I don't want to go there. And there's a lot of guilt and they're like, I can't say that out loud in the workplace environment. Like I'll just get tossed aside. Like I'll get taken off the C-suite track. And so navigating just that internal dialogue and struggle can be really challenging. Yeah, totally. Interesting.
Speaker: What do you like? maybe what do you want your legacy ah to be? And I guess you could speak first from like 2035, which sounds weird to say. And then you could speak to like your legacy, legacy, like when you're, you know, generations to come.
Speaker: I think just really challenging people to challenge status quo, that what you see around you, you don't have to accept. Like i another theme I often talk through with my business owners is claiming your agency.
Speaker: um Because I think once you get so wrapped up in the day to day, you sometimes forget how much agency you do have. And even sometimes to like founders and like CEOs, I'm like, you can change that.
Speaker: And they're like, oh, I can. Does talk agency mean like jurisdiction? Yeah. kind of like your responsibility, your control factor, um take making the decisions that you can make, you do have control over.
Speaker: um Sometimes, you know, greater culture now, that victim mentality just runs rampant. And so this isn't like the other extreme of that, but it's claiming a healthy level of agency and control of your life and remembering, oh, like,
Speaker: As I constantly remind my the clients I work with, like most life decisions can be undone. Not all, but most of them. And so often it doesn't happen overnight. like The job, the house, the commitments, like it might take even a couple years to get out of, but they can be undone.
Speaker: And then it's like, oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. Interesting. I can pivot. So yeah, me and Edward were just talking about that, like, because we've seen each other grow for the past like three years. So he's kind of like, hey, well, I realize I only want to do like top level coaching and not so much like work in their business.
Speaker: um And I kind of felt the same way because we're already working in our our own business. So there's just no time. Yeah. So yeah, it's I feel like you have to go through some years and struggles and hardships to to realize like what you truly want, don't want.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely. And I think too, just getting okay with the pivots, knowing as a business owner and entrepreneur, like it is not a linear path. um And I'd say that's one of the early lessons I had to accept because being more of that type A perfectionist, like want to be like, no, I made a decision. We're going this way. All our resources are going there, but knowing no. Okay. That was a learning opportunity.
Speaker: Because sometimes it's an even bigger thing to say, oh that's not what I want versus even what I want. And so it's like, okay, we can take that off the list now. Oh, interesting. Yeah, this is all kind of new to me.
Speaker: um you're You're talking so nerdy to me. that i love it um I can't wait to listen to this one again and just kind of wrap my head around these concepts. um But I guess the last question is speak to wedding pros.
Speaker: I mean, photographer, DJ, florist, makeup artist, is and um maybe they do have the victim mentality today and they are kind of like spiraling, spiraling down a path of negativity. And don't know, just like negative talk to themselves. Like, what would you say to them to get them out of the funk?
Speaker: What is one thing you have control over that you can change today? And just taking that first step. Like you don't have to solve the entire problem.
Speaker: You don't have to figure out how to cope with what's outside of your control right now. Just do the one thing that you can control today. Oh, I love that. and so it seems so simple, but yeah, oftentimes when we're in those moments and we're so overwhelmed and we're, you know, just debilitated and we can't act going back to no matter how small, because then it can be that snowball effect. We do one thing, then we do one more thing and it all adds up. And so start with the one thing you do have control over today, no matter how small it seems.
Speaker: I love that. You could control what you eat. You could control if you take a walk or... Yeah. yep Okay. Rapid fire. Fun questions. um I guess favorite place you ever traveled to?
Speaker: I really loved Cuba. um and so... but It's 2016. So it was more open then because all these political factors. But man, I was once again, go back to the nerd and the curious kid, ah just so intrigued by, you know, the small nation that's really kind of stuck in time in the Cold War era and all the political influences of it. And yeah, Cuba, the people are amazing. The food is amazing. So if you can go to Cuba.
Speaker: Oh, interesting. I've never been. as as most Americans have it. Because i just remember like growing up a Midwest kid in public schools, like Cuba equals bad.
Speaker: You know, we've stayed away from Cuba, but um there's so much more rich history below the surface and kind of probably a general American understanding of it.
Speaker: so Yeah, they had a Kardashian episode going to Cuba. I missed that one. um What is your favorite like or your best nomad traveling hack?
Speaker: Oh, besides curling your hair before four days.
Speaker: Pack the good snacks. ah you You never know when you're going to be stranded somewhere. you never know what your options are going to be. And I don't know about you, but yeah, when I'm getting angry or brain's getting a little foggy, like have your good snacks with you. Yeah. I always have beef jerky um pack with me at the wedding. So yeah.
Speaker: There you go. Yeah. Yes. For all your event planners and wedding photographers, when you've got those long days on your feet, yeah, you know the importance of that. Yeah. um Biggest client swim?
Speaker: Like a success story? Yeah. I had one executive who got to the C-suite. That was the goal, did all the things, climbed the ladder. And she was there for about a year and she was not enjoying it. And she had this, oh crap moment. And she was just like, wow, this is it. And feeling so defeated that this is what she had worked for and she wasn't loving it.
Speaker: ah But really it went back to claiming her agency, taking control of her calendar um because she did have more agency just within her job that she realized. And we did an overhaul and we worked together ah for about 18 months because some of those decisions that were made took about that time to get sorted out.
Speaker: But once we took that bigger picture of her life and not just the specific job, she was able to create a life and within the realm of the C-suite that she really came to love.
Speaker: Wow, that's very transformative. It's almost like a mindset shift to just giub take what you have and like make it your own or make it the best possible situation.
Speaker: um And where can everyone find you? And I think you have a freebie. I assume it's on your website. Yeah, everyone can head to drlannyjones.com.
Speaker: um There on the homepage, there is a freebie, the final 1% starter kit. yeah um So if you're like, where do I even start here? This seemed like really big abstract ideas. It'll walk you through um some of these principles, that calendar audit, things like that.
Speaker: Also can send me a message or find me on LinkedIn as well. Oh yeah, I'm going to do it right now. I'm going to take it. Awesome. Cool. This is a really fun conversation, Lani. You're are a very interesting person. So um thank you for coming on Get It Heck Yes.
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine.
Speaker: See you next time, wedding pros.
