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Ep. 198 - Making Marriage Work in the Wedding Industry with DJ Kevro + Chevonna
46 Plays21 days ago
Episode Summary:
In this heartfelt and high-energy episode of Get Ahead Guests, Carissa sits down with DJ Kevro and wife Chevonna — the powerhouse behind Musical Phunktions, a multi-DJ company that’s brought unforgettable energy to over 10,000 events across Southern California. But today, we’re not just talking playlists and packed dance floors — we’re going deeper.
Alongside his wife Chevonna, a therapist and mother of their four children, Kevro shares the real story behind building both a thriving business and a lasting marriage in one of the most demanding industries out there. From the pressures of wedding weekends to learning how to truly support each other’s dreams, this episode is packed with honest insights and practical wisdom for any couple trying to balance love, family, and entrepreneurship.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
💍 How Kevro and Chevonna built a strong marriage while growing a successful wedding business
🎧 The story behind Musical Phunktions and how it’s evolved into a multi-DJ empire
🧠 The role therapy, communication, and mutual respect play in sustaining love under pressure
👨👩👧👦 What raising four kids while running a business really looks like — and how they make it work
💡 Tips for creative couples on building a business without burning out or growing apart
Whether you’re a wedding pro, an entrepreneur couple, or just curious about how love and business can truly coexist, this conversation will leave you inspired — and ready to dance through both the highs and lows of building a life together.
https://www.instagram.com/djkevrothecurator
https://instagram.com/carissawoo
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Transcript
Introduction and Love Story
00:00:00
Speaker
happy boo wednesdays everyone today i have my dear friend kevin from dj kevro the curator and musical functions with his beautiful wife shivana she is a therapist we go deep into their love story their cutest story of finding each other at the gas station oh my gosh they both had kids at the time And then they had three beautiful children together.
00:00:26
Speaker
our hot topic today is how to have a successful marriage while being a wedding pro. These two are busy. I think he said he does like 290 weddings or something, but he gives like the biggest mic drop moment on how he gets all those weddings and still has a successful marriage and a beautiful, beautiful love story.
00:00:48
Speaker
um If you're loving my podcast, please leave me a review on either Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It's going to allow me to have more wonderful guests like DJ Carol and Siobhan.
00:01:04
Speaker
And if you want to book them for any of your holiday events or weddings, ah go to my show notes and go to their Instagram and give them a holler. Enjoy this episode.
Meet the Hosts
00:01:19
Speaker
Welcome to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host Carissa, and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all.
00:01:29
Speaker
I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
00:01:47
Speaker
Time hacks because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. i want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey.
00:02:00
Speaker
i hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesdays so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon.
Kevin and Shavonna's Background
00:02:10
Speaker
hey everyone, ah welcome back to Get a Heck Yes with your girl, Carissa Wu. I have my dear friend, Kevin. He is DJ Kevro in the house and his lovely wife, Shavonna. She is a licensed therapist and we are going to have so much fun today.
00:02:25
Speaker
What's up guys?
00:02:28
Speaker
what's up? So happy to be here, Carissa. Hey, hey, what's happening? How's it going, Carissa?
00:02:37
Speaker
Hi, DJ Cabro. Tell the audience who you guys are in a nutshell, and then we'll get into your relationship after that. All right. So I guess I'll go. So I am DJ Cabro, the curator. We are here with my wife, Shavonna, as well.
00:02:53
Speaker
Shavonna is an amazing licensed mental health therapist here in Southern California area, and we are kind of bi-coastal from Chino all the way to Seattle.
00:03:06
Speaker
Nice. How about Shyvana? Yes, I am Shyvana, and i support all things healing, mental health, for those who have been through the most heard or organizations that want to support their folks in the most impactful ways. I offer consultation, training, and all the things that have to do with supporting the well-being of this world.
00:03:25
Speaker
And I happen to be married to Kevin, who is the GOAT as it relates to DJ and MC Services. Definitely the greatest of all time. Yeah, he is the GOAT. Thank you.
00:03:38
Speaker
He makes the crowd get hyphy. He sets the energy. um And he's going to be DJing at our next WIPA event on September 30th. Excited to have you.
00:03:51
Speaker
But let's get into your relationship. Let's talk about your a little bit about your love story. Where were you in your life at the time? Where you guys met? Who you are at um who were you at that time? I'm sure you guys are a lot different.
00:04:04
Speaker
um Anyone can start. I don't care. ah All right, Siobhan, you go ahead and start. Okay. I love to tell the story of how we met. People ask often and we met at a gas station.
00:04:15
Speaker
So I was, i I was undergrad at UCLA studying psychology. I had just graduated and I bought myself a cute new car as a graduation gift. And at that time I thought the car was the best thing in the world. It was a green Chevy Cavalier.
00:04:31
Speaker
and how was that They were cute. And I was at the gas station she and he came up to me and he said, um, is that your car? I said, yes. He said, we're going to look good on our first date.
00:04:44
Speaker
And yes, told me his name, asked me my name, handed me his number and did not ask for mine and walked off. Well, yeah, the confidence, you know, you got, you got, you got to have confidence, right?
00:04:59
Speaker
Okay, so I got to ask Kevin, did you plan this? Have you done this to other women? um What did you think when you shot saw Shavana for the first time? Were you nervous? Tell me the deets.
00:05:13
Speaker
So, you know what? I haven't. I'm actually way, way far from my character and what I do. um so I was just feeling great that day. I was actually on my way to pick up some pizzas for my sister's birthday because of my sister's birthday, December seventh I'm sorry, December 6th.
00:05:30
Speaker
And um yeah, I saw her and I was like, wow, you know what? She looked like somebody I wanted to talk to. So i was like, you know what? Go ahead and shoot my shot.
00:05:41
Speaker
And I, you know, and I shot it, you know, so I went ahead and did it. And um yeah, I really I didn't really think she would call me. You know, i was like, all right, just gave it, gave her my number. And I didn't think twice about it. But um I actually, i always say I didn't think twice about it. But my mother always reminds me that um as soon as I got back to the house, I told her, I said, hey, I just met the the woman I'm going to marry.
00:06:05
Speaker
And, you know, I say crazy things all the time, but this time, i you know, I think I really meant
Transitioning Relationships
00:06:10
Speaker
it. And, you know, I got home that night and i had a message from Shyvana on my phone. Whoa, crazy. Okay, you must have been looking fly, Shabana. He already wiped you off before he even met you I mean, before he went out with you. so So that Chevy of yours or whatever you're wearing.
00:06:31
Speaker
Yeah, then you know what? I just knew i knew there i knew there was something different. What you guys talked about. Yeah, go on. No, go ahead. So I just knew i knew there was something different about her. And I saw something then kind of just this special and just different.
00:06:48
Speaker
I love it. Tell me about your first date. um If you guys just clicked right away, what you guys talked about and then your early date relationship. All right. so our first date, you want to ahead?
00:07:03
Speaker
You want me to go or you go? I was going to talk about even before our first date, the first conversation we had on the phone, we just talked for hours. We had so many things in common.
00:07:15
Speaker
We, it just felt so organic, so natural, so right. And we couldn't get enough of talking to each other on the phone every day for hours.
00:07:26
Speaker
Wow. I love it. so and in But now, let let's talk, but wait, we gotta talk about, you know we gotta give them the tea. We gotta give them the tea. Shavonna was quasi-engaged to be married to somebody else at that time.
00:07:42
Speaker
Wow. Damn. So, Yeah. So, um you know, but I, you know, I was determined and I was not going to let anybody else get this woman but me.
00:07:56
Speaker
so Wow. Poor guy. The big, the big question was, um when did you know to break it off with the other guy and just go like a hundred percent camera?
00:08:14
Speaker
Oh, it didn't take very long. So we met the other guy. We have been best friends for a long time. You know, you have those friends are just great. And then we started dating and then we had this plan that we're going to get married and all these things.
00:08:25
Speaker
And we had just known each other for a long time. And so when Kevin and I met, I was just like, and we kind of had an open thing where we had this friendship. So I would tell him all the time, like I met this guy named Kevin and I really liked him.
00:08:38
Speaker
And we were long distance and long distance relationship. And every time I'll talk to him, I will say, you know, we, we went out again. I really liked that guy, Kevin. And in his mind was, that was okay, but we're going to be together. And he was supposed to come out a few months later and stay with me the summer. And we were going to really solidify our, our future plans.
00:08:56
Speaker
We have been planning that. So months were passing and there was like maybe a month in, i was like, I have to have this conversation with this guy and let him know he can't come here, that we are done.
00:09:06
Speaker
and I, it was really hard. So I said, uh, and yeah, I had to know that it's, yeah, I was like, wait, but our plan was Greg finished college. I come, you go to grad school.
00:09:17
Speaker
I become an architect. We were going to do this thing. We had a plan. I was like, but Kevin happened and the plan is no more. Yeah. Yeah, the the the gas station day changed the trajectory of your life.
00:09:29
Speaker
ah For sure. That's awesome. Okay, so let's talk about like your career paths as a couple, maybe right before you got married um and the conversation that you had as a couple of like, where is this going and um what is our life like?
00:09:50
Speaker
Okay, so career path. So before we get, so as she was graduating from UCLA and I was still, um, kind of my like last fifth year of junior college. And so I was trying to finish that up.
00:10:03
Speaker
And my honestly aspirate, my aspirations actually was to be, I wanted to be a doctor. And so, um,
Career Changes and Aspirations
00:10:11
Speaker
You know, but then I realized that biology kind of really ah kicked my butt.
00:10:16
Speaker
So I was like, all right, you know what? I changed the communications and i just wanted to just finish and transfer to a four year university. And so at that time I was working for a company called Trader Joe's and I was a manager with Trader Joe's. I was trying to be a manager. I was good trying to be um kind of get promoted to Trader Joe's.
00:10:35
Speaker
And so that career with Trader Joe's took me to, took us to, you know, to Illinois and then back. And then, you know, after being with Trader Joe's for 10, actually 15 years, um you know, I was finishing my degree at the time, getting my bachelor's.
00:10:53
Speaker
And I graduated and i went in and I was like, you know what? I was actually on my way to work and i was actually praying on my way to work. And, you know, God gave me the um this revelation that, you know what?
00:11:08
Speaker
go ahead and pursue the dream you want. And that was to start my DJ company. So I called Shavonna and I told her, hey, you know what, God, you know, I just got this um this word from God, you know, and I just solidified. and I was like, hey, i want to go ahead and quit today. And I quit that day and I've been going ever since. And it's been 16 years, never looking back.
00:11:35
Speaker
Wow, that's amazing. You thought you were in a doctor. Yeah, I did. I did.
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah, the medical field always. Yeah. hu Yeah, that's a tough life. I don't think doctors like I would never advise my kids to be doctors, even though I'm just seems like a lot, a lot of like your life is just all work, no play. All right. Let's talk about Shavonna your career path at that time.
00:12:06
Speaker
Um, I feel like mental health chose me and I've always been the person that, you know, i joke when I'm training and hiring other therapists or presenting to them and kind of mentoring them that most people who are clinicians or mental health experts or professionals, they have been that their whole life.
00:12:24
Speaker
And so third grade, I was the one who my older cousins were talking to me like, should I go to prom with this boy? I've always been the advisor and, um,
00:12:36
Speaker
Yeah. And when we get came together, it's interesting because his career path led us to Illinois and I always wanted to get my master's. And so I said, well, we can move the family to Illinois so you can advance professionally if we if I can find a grad school there, a program that will meet my needs. And we both made that commitment to support each other with that transition. And it turned out to be a really beautiful move for our family in that season.
00:13:01
Speaker
That's where i I, you know, we went and he promoted and I ah change um achieved my master's and started practicing in Illinois. Wow. What does your business look like today?
00:13:14
Speaker
Oh, it's multifaceted. It's so exciting. So I still have my proper practice in Southern California. One of the beautiful things about being a clinician is there's, so and I'm open to all the different ways in the world that I can manifest that.
00:13:28
Speaker
I'm really open to, I love non-traditional clinical settings. That's led me to places surprisingly like I'm offering clinical services at Coachella and Stagecoach and Mardi Gras and major music tours um and ah exciting major music tours um and across the world.
00:13:47
Speaker
And I also am a director of an organization. So I support the wellness and brazil um professional development for a team of staff in Seattle. So I work in person one week and remote the other week. And I i travel weekly between Seattle and Southern California. And then when I have the opportunity to be in person for a tour or am hired to speak professionally at a conference or something like that, then I'm traveling around the world. So I love, love, love it.
00:14:14
Speaker
Wow. Yeah. Kevin was telling me about that last time we spoke. I was like, wait, what? How did she do? But that's amazing. um And then Kevin, what does your business look like today?
00:14:25
Speaker
So today it looks like I have, i have one, two, three, four, there's four of us DJs and we have one venue where we do mostly all of their weddings. And then, you know, we try to get in, you know, two to three a month outside of that venue as well and just keep the rotation going. And I try to just kind of have myself, um I'm working on, working on the business rather than in the business now so that I can actually support Shavonna with her business as well.
00:14:54
Speaker
Wow. How do you support Siobhan and her business? So I'm gonna let Siobhan answer that. I was gonna say, so I forgot one of my main roles professionally is his lovely assistant.
00:15:08
Speaker
When I get the opportunity to be so, um like recently, he was the MC, c phenomenal MC at the the Kiss the Bride bridal show at Pachanga in Southern California. And I got to go and support him and be his assistant. And um yes, it is a lot of work and it always gives me a new respect and admiration for what he does.
00:15:30
Speaker
um And then there are times, many times, like when I spoke at a conference in this earlier this year, I spoke at a conference in Columbia um and he came and joined me and was able to be ah to video. He's phenomenal support in so many ways.
00:15:46
Speaker
The emotional support, the I call him my emotional support husband. I can't do the things that I do without him, ah but also tech support, um reminding me of of the things and being truthful with me about, hey, you know what? Not that outfit.
00:16:03
Speaker
ah The lighting is better this way. um And there are events where we have where he's DJing the event, but a lot of times the tech support for conferences that I've done with the public defenders of Washington.
00:16:16
Speaker
He's been there as a support person, making sure my tech, my, my PowerPoints, my, the entire production is sufficient and meets the needs. Oh, that's so beautiful. Okay. That's perfect. So go into our hot topic.
00:16:30
Speaker
Um, Kevin, DJ Kevro, what is our hot topic
Balancing Marriage and Career
00:16:34
Speaker
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00:16:47
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00:19:01
Speaker
back to the
00:19:05
Speaker
our hot topic is maintaining a successful relationship while being a wedding pro. Right. All right. Get into it. I've been married for 10 years. Um, how long have you been married? And let's talk about the good, bad and the ugly.
00:19:20
Speaker
uh, so again, so we've been married, we've been married for 24 years and, you know, um, we've been married for it twenty four years and you know um It hasn't all been like, you know, roses and rainbows, but it's been, for me, it's been amazing. And just, I love the support we have. I love the, uh, the growth.
00:19:41
Speaker
that we both have and just kind of where we started to where we are now and to where we're still going. you know It's just a continual growth in all things, all things communication, all things um just relational, you know dating still, and just you know keeping ourselves um sane, right, together. yeah Yeah, before we get into like tips and tricks for the heck yes listeners, I'm going to ask you like an interesting question. But like, what were the biggest, maybe not pitfalls, but like the low points of your marriage? And like, how did you get back up from it?
00:20:16
Speaker
o we, ah who um, one, I would say the biggest challenges that we faced, usually haven't been directly related to us.
00:20:28
Speaker
So they have been whether it's children or financial or external or grief or things like that. And the way that we have been able to handle it is it's kind of us against the world or us against the problem.
00:20:44
Speaker
The times that it became the hardest was when we allowed the problem to pit us against each other. So when maybe there was a big issue and we're like, it's your fault. No, it's your fault. And why didn't you do this? And why didn't you do that?
00:20:57
Speaker
But when we maintain um the opportunity to be each other's soft place to land. And we're like, okay, look, we can tackle this together and we will face it together. We've always been successful when we stayed the course in that way and kept that perspective. It hasn't
Communication and Family Focus
00:21:12
Speaker
always been easy, but when we kept that perspective, then we've been able to make it through.
00:21:17
Speaker
Wow. Anything you want to add, Kevin? Yeah, I think we we we've, the struggle was mostly for me when um I was more about me than we, right? yeah So I had to learn to go from what I want to what we want and to what our family needs as well. So right, so in the beginning, it was more about me and my wants and what I want out of a wife, what I want my kids to look like, what I want my career to be.
00:21:48
Speaker
um So I had to learn to actually be more of a we and inclusive person. So for ah for my family. Oh, course i go where I'm sorry. was sorry to interrupt. We're keeping it real. I've been trying to be, you know, he's like, yeah, we went through a selfish phase.
00:22:05
Speaker
Yeah, I was gonna, I was gonna just ask, like, okay, being selfish, I'm very selfish as well. And I'm very into my career. So how was that like transition from like, being a me to a we, or I to a team? um And, like,
00:22:21
Speaker
I don't how do you change that mindset? And like how what are the the tough conversations and questions you have to ask ask each other?
00:22:29
Speaker
So I guess one thing that Shavonna actually has taught me is to kind of always do a check-in with each other, right? um We started out with the different questions, right? so So finding out what questions work.
00:22:43
Speaker
Before, I believe believe it was, um how can I fill your bucket? I think that was one of the questions she used to ask. Right. And then I remember but in the beginning also, she would ask a question or say, hey, and I would go, OK, what's wrong?
00:22:58
Speaker
Or what do you need? Right. Yeah. But now in our relationship, it's how can I support you better? Wow. So those are the things that we kind of kind of look at as far as especially with career and our schedules being so like just all over the place.
00:23:15
Speaker
You know, um and like I said, tend to focusing on our businesses and focusing on, OK, you got kids and things like that. So we want to make sure that we're pouring into each other and and still learning how how can I support each other better?
00:23:29
Speaker
yeah I have a funny story. have a funny story about that. um So for the first seven years of our marriage, I joke, um When his I'm very in tune with mood, obviously. And so his energy shifts. And so when his energy would shift and he would be in a different mood for the first seven years of our marriage, I would say, what's wrong with you?
00:23:48
Speaker
And he's like, nothing's wrong with me. I'm like, there is something wrong with you. You were happy a moment ago and now you're not happy. Something's wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with me. And so this conversation will continue to go on forever.
00:23:58
Speaker
And it never yielded a positive result. Because every time I said, what's wrong? He was like, it's nothing wrong. So finally, in the like seventh year, I was like, dude, what do you need? What is going on? And he said, I'm hungry.
00:24:14
Speaker
You're always you ask me that and I realize that sometimes I'm just hungry or tired and I don't even realize it yet. But when I'm hungry or when I'm tired, my mood shifts and it's not about you. It's not about the kids. I'm just hungry or tired. Give me some.
00:24:26
Speaker
Give me a moment. And I was like, oh, So I changed my question in the seventh year. How can I support you? Is there anything I can do for you today? Is there anything you need?
00:24:36
Speaker
And usually from that question, he'll take a moment and think and be like, hmm, I think I want a sandwich or i think, you know, can you help me? I'm stressed out trying to get out the door to this gig. Could you please do you mind ironing this shirt for me? Because, gosh, I'm trying to get out the door, you know, so yeah that was a big shift in our relationship. And I realized he that he didn't know what was wrong with him.
00:24:57
Speaker
So I'm asking a question that he didn't have the answer to. Wow. Yeah. And I feel like this happens all the time, especially with like, you have your own business, Shavonna and like, you know, Kevin, we run we're wedding pros and you run a big business and like something could happen with like a client or you get a bad email or something.
00:25:14
Speaker
just something that yeah triggers us. And it's like, like, we don't really know what's happening to our nervous system or our body, but it just happens. And for someone to kind of like check us and be like, Hey, what's not, what's wrong. What's like, can I help you? And like, maybe it's just like going for frozen yogurt or like going for a walk. I'm like, I'm talking about it. Like that could change everything. Yeah. So I wanted to ask you a question um about like just being a therapist and,
00:25:41
Speaker
Um, like what are the main reasons like people get a divorce or like fight or can you like pinpoint it with like one or two things? Yes. The honestly, when people stop trying, we hear all the time that it might be finances or sex, but it really, it's when people stop trying, when people stop putting in the effort to support the other person, when they stop saying, okay, you know, you're worth the fight.
00:26:11
Speaker
you're worth me hearing, you're worth me taking the time. That's when the relationship starts to fray and that the divide becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. Wow.
00:26:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I, my, I went to lunch with my friend yesterday and then, um, like I had a really pretty bad marriage for like many, many, many years, like nine out of 10.
00:26:32
Speaker
Um, And then, but I told her, like, we're doing really good because he stopped drinking and we're just, like, on a better, like, um just a better marriage right now. Like, we don't fight or anything. And then she's, like, she's, like, um just, like, so positive. She's, like, oh, like, Carissa, like, no matter all, like, the bad things we went through and, like,
00:26:49
Speaker
um the misery that you went through you guys always like still try and I was like oh that's so nice of you to say was like you still like you're still married you know so where we're still still with it um Kevin let's talk about I usually j would ask you know Shavonna but I want to jump to Kevin about raising children tell me about like your family and what it was like like trying to provide and also like be there for Shavonna like I struggle with a lot of postpartum I'm sure you You deal with a lot of clients that do as well. Like, what was your perspective on like being like a dad and, and ah you know, a working dad?
Parenting and Blended Families
00:27:26
Speaker
Yeah. So again, it's the, so it's the same thing as right now, as far as with schedules, schedules, compromise. And it's funny, well one our our youngest son, he's 20 and he just had the same question. he asked my wife, he asked Shavonna, he said, Hey man, you know what?
00:27:45
Speaker
I don't understand it. I'm 20 and i don't have any kids right now. um How did you guys do it? Like what, like with schedules and everything. And Shavonna made the point. She's like, we just, you just do it.
00:28:00
Speaker
You just, you just have to like buckle down and get it done. Right. So yeah if you you, know, at the, at the time when our kids were younger, all our kids now are over 18. And so we're good now, as least see but even we still, our schedules are still a little bit,
00:28:16
Speaker
It's still hectic, but in a different way. But when when the kids were little, you have cheer, you have football, you have school, we have dentist appointments. We have one of our kids was an actor.
00:28:28
Speaker
So we had auditions. And yeah, it was you know it's it's ah it's a whirlwind, but you just do it. It's kind of like, in my opinion, I like at look at moms.
00:28:39
Speaker
A lot of moms just do it. They don't think about it. They don't go, okay, what do I have to do? If a kid goes, hey, I need to be at football practice at from 6 to 8 o'clock, then at 8 o'clock, my friend's having a sleepover that I have to be at.
00:28:56
Speaker
You're going to make sure that kid gets there. you're going to make sure they have food and those things like that. So what we've done as far as when i what I, my input on it is we just made it happen. So, you know, um lots of getting it wrong.
00:29:10
Speaker
You know, but then also, you know, after getting it wrong, we kind of were able to sit back and go kind of go, OK, well, tomorrow we got to do A, B, C and D. OK, great. And then, you know, we had some rough times also to where, you know, things didn't work out like we needed them to work out. And, you know, we're we had a time sometimes where we're hey, we're going to this hotel to have a fun night.
00:29:33
Speaker
But and in reality, you know, hey. We had the lights were off for a minute for a day. So we had to go back up, you know? And so the kids didn't know they had a fun night. But, you know, learning from that and kind of and regrouping and going, all right, listen, we got knocked down, but now we're going to get back up.
00:29:53
Speaker
We're going to dust off. Hey, we still got football practice next week. We still have work next week. We still have, think next week, tomorrow. We still have to get these things done. So I think just staying resilient. And then for us, Shavonna and I have always been on the same page with this being a united front in front of the kids and making sure that we stay connected together.
00:30:15
Speaker
um May not see eye to eye, but we make sure that we stay connected and, you know, um and, and, ah respect is key as well. You know, as far as for us. hana What was it like? um Tell me about a little bit about your kids. I'm assuming you have two or three, i a girl and a boy, but you never like really talk about it, but um share a little bit about that and like what it was like in the early days of like, you know, kevro going Kevin growing in his business, you having your business, raising kids. And what was it like? And any tips and tricks for new moms out there?
00:30:50
Speaker
Well, ah that's a loaded question, but we have four. ah yeah Yes, we have four. They're all adults. And when we met, um ah we are a blended family, but we've never raised our kids in any way separately. They've always been one unit.
00:31:05
Speaker
um And that's one of the things that I have always loved, that he was a parent and I was a parent, both very young parents when we met. We were very young and very committed parents.
00:31:16
Speaker
And that was something that we bonded over being intentional about when we would introduce our kids to each other, when we would, how we would integrate them as a family. And we had two more together and raised them all as a unit.
00:31:30
Speaker
And, um, it was, those were, there were a lot of years of sacrifice, a lot of years of sacrifice. But one of the things that we never, ever wavered on, I think that We did we did a lot of things wrong. But one of the things that we did, i think, very well is always created an openness for our kids to come to us and say how they were feeling.
00:31:53
Speaker
So if they're like, hey, I didn't like the way you said that or didn't like the way you do that. Still to this day with the oldest, I just recently had a ah tearful conversation where he said, you know, I was able to say, you know what, I'm sorry.
00:32:04
Speaker
There were moments that I was so afraid as raising a black man in society, Southern California. And maybe I raised you and responded out of fear as opposed to in that moment being love forward. And I wish I had it could go back and be love forward and fear not to play such a role in the way that I responded to that thing. And I'm sorry.
00:32:25
Speaker
And how can I help heal any wounds that that could have caused? That's something that we've always had and I will continue to have because we want to break those ugly cycles, those generational cycles. So even when we get it wrong, being able to say, um I'm sorry and how can I make it right?
Marriage Advice for Industry Professionals
00:32:41
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that's beautiful. Anything bad, Kevin? No, she said it perfect. I thought that too. That was perfect. Yeah. Okay, let's go into more marriage um hacks. Let's just think of like the wedding pros listening to right now. Like they're they're in the thick of it. They're maybe just newly married. They've been married. They're getting divorced. they're um They're fucking with their spouse because, you know, they're at a wedding all day and then they don't have any time for each other and they're editing and they're doing client calls and they're like on Instagram making reels when they're at dinner table.
00:33:18
Speaker
Like what like advice would you give them? Woo. You said a whole mouthful. Yes, yes. And yes. all And there's the sacrifice of you're going to social events all the time. And when are when, when are your events, your events are at the same time that other social events are.
00:33:35
Speaker
So you show up to a lot of events without your spouse. um And so one of the things that I, used I used to joke um in the beginning of that kind of season of, of, of compromise where, you know,
00:33:47
Speaker
the business musical functions grew and grew and grew. And I was going to a lot of events by myself. I would joke and say, Oh, I'm single on the weekends or, or, you know, and I realized, someone said you know, if you're joking, saying you're single, then that means your husband is single wherever he is.
00:34:01
Speaker
And I was like, Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. no ah so i don't mean like that So what i I mean, I didn't mean it in regard to single, like I could do whatever want. But what I realized is we were both sacrificing and,
00:34:17
Speaker
What um we have to do is really be intentional about connecting outside of that. Like he would do simple things. Like if I had a lot of events that he knew I was going to by myself, he'd do something like, hey, here, here's, um go shop and buy you a really pretty dress and send me a picture of you at the event with your pretty dress. I want to support you even though i can't be there.
00:34:38
Speaker
So those ways of showing up, even if you can't show up, if that makes sense.
00:34:44
Speaker
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00:34:57
Speaker
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00:35:07
Speaker
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00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah, always like show that you're thinking of them. I think that's really the thing that um my husband works on like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then I'm kind of like doing my thing on the weekend with like weddings and stuff.
00:35:38
Speaker
So then on like Mondays, it was, um we used to like drink a lot, but we would like take shots, but now we we're sober. So we're just like, Okay, we um we go for a walk and then we get some food, but we know like I can't plan anything with friends or I can't plan anything on Tuesday.
00:35:54
Speaker
So it's our time to connect, listen to music and just be like, okay, whatever people ask me to do, i have to say no, because it's our time together. home
00:36:06
Speaker
Kevin, what's on your mind right now? Yeah, I think that's a good tip. I'm just thinking about, so I'm thinking about not myself, but I'm thinking about Shabana when I'm at a gig or the fact that I'm doing, you know, like I said, i i literally average 180 to 190 weddings a year for the past 10 years.
Building Business Relationships
00:36:25
Speaker
And me understanding agreements and boundaries. So not for me, but for her, but for Shavonna, I need to make sure that I keep my agreements.
00:36:36
Speaker
If I'm going to say I'm going to do something or be somewhere or do something, going to need to keep that agreement and boundaries, knowing what are her boundaries um as far as, you know, this, this period is what are our boundaries and what do I need to kind of make sure that I'm,
00:36:50
Speaker
working within those boundaries and making sure that she has the time that she needs and also making the time that it's like, for instance, for I don't work Sundays. So it took me ah about a good five years where I tried not to work Sundays unless there's an emergency.
00:37:05
Speaker
Right. And then I'll take Monday is specifically for, you know, just to do nothing or do something with Shavonna as well, especially being that she works in Seattle for a week.
00:37:16
Speaker
Then she's back and Chino here for a week and then go back and forth. So I make sure that I'm at least going with her to Seattle for at least weeks. three two to four days because she's gonna need that support. and We're gonna need that time together. And that's our time to kind of just be and regroup and relax. And then the thing about that is we can do this. So you those of you with younger kids know that they do get older and you do have to keep going. You do have to keep on living and within your career.
00:37:44
Speaker
Now we did have kids young, so it's a little bit different, but you know, but still, if I was in my sixties, if I was in my, I was still, i was still pour into my quarant each other and people people pouring into my career as well.
00:37:59
Speaker
But just agreements and boundaries, making sure that we stick to those agreements and boundaries. I love that. Okay. I have a non-marriage question, Kevin, but ah how the hell you get so many weddings?
00:38:12
Speaker
Tell me your mindset. iin said you know so Siobhan helped me with this. So it's about relationship, right? It's about relationship. And I have built a beautiful relationship with a beautiful venue and and not just the venue, not even the venue, but with the venue owners and we're we're like family.
00:38:32
Speaker
So um as you um as you already know, I am the, well, musical functions as a solo DJ provider and entertainment provider and AV provider for Serendipity Garden Weddings, right?
00:38:45
Speaker
And so Serendipity Garden Weddings does two to 250 year. So we provide all of their weddings and, um, yeah, they've allowed me to bring in a team and we cover those. And so that allows us to, you know, that allows me to be with Shavonna the time that I need.
00:39:02
Speaker
And, and I thought about what did I want? So, you know, um, like said, relationships anyway, but going back to the question is about relationships and kind of building that relationship with, with these, with the venues, right. And with the venue owners.
00:39:16
Speaker
And so, um, Yeah, think I've been really fortunate. I've been with them now for, it's been since 2015, I want to say.
00:39:27
Speaker
and And what I'll add, especially the early years with Tammy and Phil, the owners who were like their friends of ours who become family, when they would host events, They had a dinner as as a spouse. I'm showing up.
00:39:40
Speaker
I'm going to be cute. going show up. I'm going to smile. I'm going to be friendly. I'm going to build that connection. but I'm going to support him. Every event that they're that they hosted when I was invited, I'm going to show up and show out for my man um to help build that connection, build those relationships, you know.
00:39:57
Speaker
So, yeah, we're a team in that regard. And unfortunately for him, but i I would say fortunate fortunately for me, he's attended many mental health events. and You know, we just recently had in Seattle, my team, I work for um PDA in Seattle. They formerly Public Defenders Association, but now Purpose Dignity Action. But.
00:40:17
Speaker
he, we have our yearly summer celebration and he supported me by showing up and DJing there and it meant the world to our entire team. But there, you know, so that's how we build those relationships and we support each other professionally.
00:40:33
Speaker
Wow. I mean, that is my drop moment for the audience right now. I have some good relationships with people in the South Bay as well. And I've, learned, you know over the years, how important they are. I think it took me a little too long to learn that. Um, but yeah, just one in with a good venue and like making that relationship really strong and like making sure like you're just in with it that could do like all the difference in your business.
00:41:01
Speaker
I love that. Yeah. and And if I can, yeah relationship is key. And it's not just the with the one venue, but think about the relationship, like building connections.
00:41:12
Speaker
I think about the connection that you and I have. Right. It's a it's on a yeah it's a different level than on the the surface. Hey, I know that guy. Right? It's like we're friends. Not even like we're friends. It's like yeah for we are friends. you know And same thing with ah with Ricardo from Iris Designs.
00:41:28
Speaker
I've worked on building that relationship. And I've worked on kind of making sure that I reach out and feel genuine about them, asking about your kids, and asking about how are you doing and how are you feeling, and what are your thoughts on different topics that you know we typically don't talk about and ah in a public setting.
00:41:46
Speaker
right um And so just like for, you know, if I, if I, if I can, you know, um the last event that we were at, ah came I came, was like, Shavonna asked me, how so how was the event?
00:41:58
Speaker
You said something, I'm gonna let you finish, babe, because you froze. But you said something about genuine connections. I just have to add in there, like people can tell when it's transactional. He said genuine, like genuine connections. I talked about the, the, all the, the owners of that venue and showing up, but it wasn't a,
00:42:15
Speaker
okay, I'm going to do this so we can get something. People can tell when it's not authentic. Yep, exactly. there That's what I was getting at. It was this authentic connection. You know, I can feel that you were going through something that day at the last event. So was like, you know, I so i think, of let me reach out to Carissa. Let me see how she's doing.
00:42:32
Speaker
You know, and then the same thing. I talked to, you know, this period is kind of reaching out and having those genuine connections. and you're not going to have them with everybody. But when you do,
Final Thoughts and Episode Wrap-up
00:42:42
Speaker
you want to develop. You want to develop that.
00:42:45
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. Okay, we have two more minutes. So I'm going to ask just one like genuine question. um Just because we're speaking about such a beautiful marriage and family you guys both shared and raising four children. And I don't know, that's just so beautiful. You guys said so many wise things. And I hope a lot of couples get so much from this. But um I guess ladies first, but what do you love most about Kevin?
00:43:08
Speaker
oh
00:43:12
Speaker
So many things. His smile. his loyalty and his, his smile and his loyalty. I would say both of those things are the top.
00:43:24
Speaker
Beautiful. Kevin, what do you love most about Shyvana? Everything. Everything. you know But I love her genuine connection. I love how she wears her heart and her feelings on her sleeve, even though everybody don't everybody doesn't understand it or get it in the world that we're in.
00:43:46
Speaker
But I love that she allows me to protect that for her. Aw, that's beautiful. I love that. Okay. Well, it was such a pleasure to talk to you guys. Do you guys have any other things on your mind that you just have to get out before we tell everyone where to find you?
00:44:04
Speaker
Yes. What I want to say is Carissa, every time Kevin speaks about you, he brings the purity of your heart and just your, your, your true nature with him. And I am so grateful.
00:44:17
Speaker
It's hard to find people truly care and are truly open in this industry. like I said before, it can feel transactional, but to actually build a genuine connection with someone and to see that you and Kevin have been open to building that. I just want to thank you.
00:44:32
Speaker
Thank you for having me, but also thank you for being you and thank you for connecting with my husband in such a beautiful way.
00:44:41
Speaker
Oh, I like me. Thank you. That's so sweet. I received that. Anything for yeah Kevin, last words. ah That's it. I echo that. and I said, like, thanks. I acknowledge and I value the relationship.
00:44:56
Speaker
um I think this is a great ah platform that you have for wedding pros to come on and talk about the various topics. Especially, I thought it was important for us to come on and talk about the marriage and, you know, how to have a successful relationship and keep the lines of communication open, staying together.
00:45:13
Speaker
making sure that we are, you know, respecting each other's boundaries and make sure that we are respecting each other's wishes and wants and goals together and kind supporting each other and being there, you know, for one another another in a marriage, especially as wedding pros, we got to make sure that we are, you know, really thinking about our partners and how they're being kind of like being affected by you know, our business and what we're doing.
00:45:36
Speaker
Oh, I love that. And where can everyone find you on your two Instagrams? My Instagram is DJ Kevro, the curator, and also at Musical Functions Entertainment.
00:45:52
Speaker
Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine.
00:46:08
Speaker
See you next time, Wedding Pros.