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Ep. 187 - From Cringe to Captivating: How to Nail Your Wedding Words - Brian Franklin
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🎧 Episode Description:
How do you make a wedding speech unforgettable—in a good way? 👀
Today’s guest is none other than Brian Franklin, dubbed “The Humorist” by The New York Times, and the Co-Founder of Vows & Speeches, a company on a mission to make wedding speeches (and vows!) actually enjoyable to listen to.
Brian has helped hundreds of people write vows, toasts, ceremonies, and even eulogies. In this episode, he shares how to tap into authenticity, avoid cliché, and craft words that feel deeply personal and powerful. Whether you’re a best man, maid of honor, officiant, or the one walking down the aisle—this episode will help you feel confident behind the mic.
We also dive into:
- The #1 mistake most people make in wedding speeches
- What not to say when you’re nervous
- How to balance humor and heart in your vows
- Why speeches drag—and how to fix them
- Real stories from real weddings (yes, including the awkward ones!)
- A sneak peek into Brian’s upcoming book Engaged (coming 2026)
This is a must-listen for engaged couples, wedding pros, and anyone who’s ever had to raise a glass in front of a crowd.
📝 Guest Bio:
Brian Franklin is the Co-Founder and CEO of Vows & Speeches, where he’s helped hundreds of clients craft unforgettable words for life’s biggest moments. He’s been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Brides, Politico, Bridal Guide, The Miami Herald, and more. Before founding his company, Brian ran an award-winning political consulting firm and served for 10 years on the board of the American Association of Political Consultants. His upcoming book, Engaged: Things I Learned About Love and Partnership by Interviewing Engaged Couples, is set to release in early 2026.
📲 Connect with Brian:
Instagram: @vowsandspeeches
Website: vowsandspeeches.com
Connect with Carissa https://instagram.com/carissawoo
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Transcript
Introduction and Welcome
00:00:00
Speaker
Happy Woo Wednesdays everyone! So I've said it once and I've said it twice and I say it on all my Instagram reels but stop giving your expertise and your advice out for free! Turn your knowledge into
Introducing Brian Franklin
00:00:15
Speaker
a digital product. I have 24-hour challenge the link is in the show notes so today i have brian from vows and speeches he's amazing guy i met him through whippa socal and i feel like he is filling a hole in the wedding industry no one talks about this how speeches and vows could be super long or awkward or just a hot mess and it could really make or break someone's big day
00:00:45
Speaker
So he gives some tips and tricks on how to make speeches better and just how to make your wedding or weddings better in general. You are going to love this episode. Enjoy.
Carissa's Experience in the Wedding Industry
00:00:59
Speaker
Welcome to Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. I'm your host Carissa and I've been a Los Angeles wedding photographer for over a decade. I've traveled the world, built my team, and seen it all.
00:01:09
Speaker
I now coach wedding photographers hit 10K a month and build a thriving business. In this podcast, we are going to deep dive into how top wedding creatives get that heck yes from their dream clients. We are not holding back on the struggles of the business and how to push through the noise. Some healthy hustle, mindset shifts, up-leveling your money story,
00:01:27
Speaker
Time hacks because I'm a mom of two, a little bit of woo-woo, and most importantly, self-love and confidence are just a few of the many things we will talk about. I want to give you a genuine thank you for following along my journey.
00:01:40
Speaker
I hope to inspire you every Woo Wednesday so that you say heck yes to listening to this podcast. See you guys soon.
00:01:50
Speaker
Happy Woo Wednesdays, everyone. Today's guest is someone who's made it his mission to rescue weddings from cringe-worthy speeches and awkward toasts. Meet Brian Franklin, political consultant turned co-founder of Vows and Speeches, a boutique service that helps couples, officiants, and speakers craft unforgettable words for life's biggest moments.
00:02:13
Speaker
Welcome, Brian. Thank you for having me. good to be here. Yeah, and we were just at the WIPA Gala events. um You helped Carol, the president, make her speech, and it was just so delightful to hear those words. She did a great job, and then you helped her out with that.
00:02:29
Speaker
I was glad to help, and yeah, she did great. Yay. Okay, so word on the street, like you're a big deal, and like everyone in WIPA is raving about you, but for those who don't know you, tell everyone who you are. the heck yes, listeners. Yes.
00:02:45
Speaker
I don't know about big deal, but but i'm glad I'm glad it's positive. um So yeah, i my wife, Nicole, and I started this business back in mid-2021. And the people with essence of it is to help people with the writing of their vows, wedding speeches, ceremony scripts. We do ah help with other kinds of celebratory events and and corporate events, even things like ah what Carol was doing, which was essentially an intro speech to to a group of people. And not everybody is a comfortable speaker. Not everybody's great at writing.
00:03:23
Speaker
Some people are bad at both. You know, people are just good at math and and good at thinking, and it's just not a skill that they've ever developed or wanted to develop. And so ah but at the same time, you have people that are thrust into these big moments, whether they're a father of the bride or a maid of honor, or you're just getting married and you realize, hey, look, I want to do my own personalized vows.
00:03:47
Speaker
I just don't know how.
The Birth of Vows and Speeches
00:03:49
Speaker
And so, so that's, our job is to essentially help people with that process and to help make it more personalized than they can do on their own.
00:03:59
Speaker
And, and so, yeah, that's, that's, that's what we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I i was on on your interview. Instagram all morning, but we're going to take it back to like your growing up story. You could tell the audience where you're from, what were you like as a kid and any like maybe stories that shaped the person you are today. Yeah. I, ah I grew up, I kind of bounced around. My family went from, i was born in New York city, right ah ah lived right across the river in, in Teaneck, New Jersey as, as a small child.
00:04:33
Speaker
ah Then we moved to California We moved to the Valley actually when i was... four or five and ah around five, close to five. And we stayed there for about a year and a half. I lived about a mile from my now wife, ah Nicole, and we didn't know each other. at least we, I don't think so.
00:04:53
Speaker
And, ah and then my dad got a job back on the East coast. We lived there for ah couple of years, more, three years more, and then ah moved to Irvine, California. And,
00:05:06
Speaker
ah lived in Irvine for about seven or eight years. Then my dad got a job in Miami. And ah so I left like the middle to the middle of my so junior year, ah moved to Miami, ah and then lived in Miami in Fort Lauderdale for a while.
00:05:23
Speaker
i was, you know, i i was always always a i I don't know if hyperactive kid is the right word. i was always someone that was interested in being a musician and a performer.
00:05:36
Speaker
And I was just one of those kids that I think, you know, would, would sit in the back out of the class and make jokes and, and always try and be the class clown and that kind of thing. And that, that hasn't really changed at all.
00:05:48
Speaker
I'm still, still very much a class clown, but, um but move to Miami, ah you know, kind of wasn't sure what I wanted to do wasn't particularly focused on school I think at the time I was when I graduated I was more focused on music and started playing live and i was in bands for many years um and then and uh when I was 21 I got signed to a ah deal with uh Mercury a Polygram uh the record company and uh
00:06:19
Speaker
It was, it was essentially a, um, songwriting and developmental deal as an artist. And, um, and that was exciting. It lasted about a year that it ended, but, uh, but I had, uh, you know, i worked as a guitar teacher for a bit and, and just, you know, odd, odd things until I could finish college and then wound up in advertising.
00:06:40
Speaker
And, ah Wound up in advertising. I got married ah relatively young um and then, ah you know, had had a baby at some point around 2002.
00:06:57
Speaker
and ah But I was working in advertising. i wound up going freelance and and i and i was having a successful career in in advertising as a freelancer, but ah at the time,
00:07:10
Speaker
They were, um healthcare care was extremely expensive by those by those days standards. It was outrageous, just like it is now. and ah And so I thought to myself, I had the brilliant idea that I could go be a teacher during the day.
00:07:27
Speaker
And ah because i I mostly do my work at night. i could peer back some of my advertising clients. I'll get the freelance stuff done at night. i'll I'll work as a teacher during the day. I'll save like a thousand dollars a month in health insurance.
00:07:41
Speaker
And and that worked for about a year until they doubled the health insurance with yeah high school teacher, or high school teacher. Yeah, I taught history and AP ah ultimately wound up teaching AP government at the largest what was the largest high school in the nation at the time.
00:08:00
Speaker
5,500 students. And so I got AP government. I was teaching seniors, like the highest highest level of seniors. and And while working jobs i after school, and I completely, of course, underestimated the difficulty and time that it takes to be a teacher and how much time it takes to grade papers and and also how much time I was spending on the phone selling. So I watched my advertising revenue decline and my cost of living go up with with teaching as the health care went up. And I finally, after four years, decided that I had to go back into advertising and then wound up ah in i decided because I was teaching government and I was I was interested in politics. I've always been I had always been political. i used to be.
00:08:46
Speaker
um i I thought, okay, well, maybe I'll start a political ad agency because I was seeing things that i used to don were not consistent with what I knew were possible on the corporate advertising side. I knew what we were doing and it wasn't being applied to the political spectrum at that time.
Career Shift from Politics to Weddings
00:09:05
Speaker
Okay. And politics has a tendency to be some years behind corporate. it just it Part of it is the pace of it. It goes very, very fast. But also it's it's um you it's underfunded. It's perennially underfunded. So a lot the stuff has to become more accessible before it gets to politics, unless you're doing a presidential campaign. But that's what I'm talking about. Yeah.
00:09:29
Speaker
So I went, I was i got, I formed a LLC. I got my business cards and i went, it just so happened that the big national conference was in Miami that year. So I went to that.
00:09:41
Speaker
I walk in the door, I meet my future wife, like the right away. I met some of my best friends right away. Some of the biggest people in the business and And just kind of rocketed it into that world. I got ah got very lucky ah with some of the people that I met and and fell into a couple of really early success stories.
00:10:02
Speaker
and And suddenly I had a career in politics. And so I was working as a political consultant, writing so writing speeches, you know doing delivery prep, that kind of thing, delivery coaching, and many other aspects of political consulting.
00:10:18
Speaker
and ah And wound up just kind of advancing through through that. I wound up on the board of the American Association of Political Consultants and and and operating at a fairly high level ah for for a very long time. But I i also, um and then ultimately wound up ah combining forces with my wife, who was a media buyer. and ah And so ah Nicole and I were doing that thing. But around 2015, politics changed.
00:10:47
Speaker
politics changedd and it became ah something that, you know, on both ends became disassociated from the truth. You can, now you could just kind of make things up and on either side, you can just make things up and it doesn't really get called out on because everybody's watching whatever they care to watch. And, and, and so the whole fun of it got got kind of kneecapped for me.
00:11:11
Speaker
And ah from that point, I started looking at different ideas to try and, get out of politics and weddings and, and this business was actually the third of the three of, of three ideas I had explored and played with. And, ah but it was so clear to me, you know, it kind of hit when I finally started looking at doing this, it was like a lightning bolt because I realized how needed it was.
00:11:38
Speaker
You know, I talked to enough wedding planners and other wedding pros about the idea and everybody seemed to have the same reaction. ah you know did what What year did you get married?
00:11:51
Speaker
I got married in 2017. Here's an interesting ah little tidbit. My wife, ah Nicole, had two daughters from a previous marriage. I had my son in Florida from a previous marriage. So when we started our romance, it it didn't seem really possible that we could pull this off.
00:12:11
Speaker
ah And I somehow convinced her that we could... we could be bi-coastal for nine years, 10 years. It started out being 10 years and then ultimately wound up being nine. but But I basically flew back and forth between Florida and California every other week. So I'd have my son for six days. That was our schedule. like I had six days on, eight eight days off.
00:12:34
Speaker
Oh, wow. And so in those eight days, I'd fly to California, be with Nicole, fly back to Florida at the end of it. And, and, and summers were different and she said would come to Florida occasionally, but, but, but that was basically what we did for nine years. And and and actually when we got married, we were still doing it and didn't sell the house in Florida until 2019, right before the pandemic. And so, yeah, it was a, it,
00:13:02
Speaker
Richard Branson actually wrote a little blurb on his blog about us because, um because I sent them a thank you note because Virgin America was the first airline to have fleet wide wifi and that, ah and they had a direct like flight from Fort Lord LAX.
00:13:19
Speaker
And that allowed me to do my work without ah actually anybody knowing I was and unavailable. So I i get did all my work was most you know remote and. did he right back oh Oh yeah, no. Yeah. We like, like it was, he wrote of the whole thing. Like this is why we do business. And oh yeah ah yeah, it was really cool. And, but so this, you know, that, that was kind of our story. We wound up, by I wound up moving in 2019 out to ah um Woodland Hills and I had already had stuff out there. You know, I, it was, ah it was a weird life and I was always on the move.
00:13:57
Speaker
but, um, but it worked out. So i love it then, you know, and then the pandemic and, and I had a pandemic podcast and I started talking to a speech writer and all sudden I had this, I wonder if I could do something with this.
00:14:09
Speaker
And that's where it kind of led. Oh, were you working with a particular president before? No, I didn't do any presidential campaigns. Okay. and We were adjacent to some, but, uh,
00:14:21
Speaker
But yeah, no, we we mostly did ah ballot initiatives and, ah you know, ah federal campaigns. We did ah congressional races and I worked on like one of the most expensive congressional races in history and.
00:14:37
Speaker
And, you know, fun stuff, but ah because it's very much like sports. It's, you know, there's a season and
Personal Life and Industry Commitment
00:14:43
Speaker
you'd work and you'd make a bunch of money in like six months. And then you don't work for like the next six to eight months. and then Yeah.
00:14:51
Speaker
you know yeah One more question before Hot Topic and and it'll allude to it just perfectly. But like, tell me about your vows and Nicole's.
00:15:04
Speaker
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00:15:17
Speaker
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00:15:29
Speaker
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00:15:43
Speaker
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00:15:59
Speaker
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00:16:23
Speaker
Oh, they they were they were absolutely absent because we didn't do them. we we We must have said I do, but I'm sure.
00:16:34
Speaker
But i don't really remember it. what we had a We cheaped out and then hired a videographer. So I don't have any of it on and on video. yeah But ironically, and this is, of course, you know four years before we we start the business.
00:16:50
Speaker
Ironically, ah It didn't occur to me to do our own vows. And it did to Nicole, but she felt outmatched. She's a fine writer. She does she writes well.
00:17:03
Speaker
But the thing is, is that she knew that I was a professional writer. and And so ah she didn't want... ah She didn't think she could compete really. And not that it's a competition, but she didn't think she could do it justice, comparatively speaking.
00:17:19
Speaker
and And that feeling is exactly why, or one of the reasons why we have a business, because there are a lot of people that don't even ask wedding planners or or anyone that ah can we get help? They don't know to ask.
00:17:35
Speaker
They don't think to ask. yeah And they just don't bring it up because they know that they don't feel like they're, they could do it. And, yeah and they can, I've dealt with people that, I mean, most of our clients to some degree or another need us.
00:17:50
Speaker
And, ah So that's, um, actually all of them need us, but, but some of them are good writers and, and just want to get better or they want, or they're great writers and they want to refine the moment.
00:18:03
Speaker
But, uh, it helps to work with somebody. It helps to improve somebody. Yeah. i read on your website. um It was a conversation on clubhouse that kind of stirred up the idea. Is that true? Yeah.
00:18:14
Speaker
Yeah. Well, yeah i mean, I had come in with the idea of wedding speeches and ah it was the clubhouse crowd that said, know, why don't you look at wedding vows and ceremony scripts? And it didn't occur to me to to even think about that. And as soon as they did,
00:18:32
Speaker
mentioned that I immediately got it and went online and got vowsandspeeches.com and the rest really kind of fell into place very quickly ah because it makes a lot of sense. And there are a lot of people now that are doing their own vows. ah There are a lot of people now that are having a friend or a family member officiate.
00:18:51
Speaker
I had officiated a few weddings. I had been helping friends and family with wedding speeches already. So it all came together. it made sense. And, and suddenly we were, were, don't want to say off to the races. Cause that would, that would, that's not true. Yeah. We, we were moving and ah it, it takes a while to start a niche. And, and there were a few people,
00:19:16
Speaker
that are out there that had started this before us in different ways, maybe approaching it it a little differently. And, but there was, but most people hadn't heard of them.
00:19:27
Speaker
And, ah and it certainly wasn't something that you'd find on the not in a, in a category or anywhere else really. So that yeah starting something like this is, is difficult, but, ah but it's fun.
00:19:41
Speaker
So fun. Yeah. I wanted to say like, just, because I've been a wedding photographer for 15 years, but this one speech was really, really bad. and and What happened?
00:19:56
Speaker
It was one of those, it was the groom's um like mentor from like military or whatever. And then um he did a very like long-winded speech. And then you could see like their faces just like drop.
00:20:10
Speaker
But it was one of like those things at the end where like I'm pulling your leg type of thing. Yeah. She was livid. Yeah. She wrote the whole team, like take him out of the pictures and videos, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:24
Speaker
And yeah. And no one should feel that way. Yeah. Like no one in their own wedding, especially, you know, like no one should feel that way when you've done all this work and all this planning i to to have somebody get up there and say something really dumb Uh-huh. Embarrassing, cringy. Oh, yeah.
00:20:43
Speaker
You know, or more commonly, just ramble on for, you know, not just 10 minutes. I mean, the record is 50. And ah the unconfirmed record is even longer than that.
00:20:55
Speaker
Oh, But there are many, I speak to many wedding pros, many of them in luxury weddings. And some of them have reported, i would say like seven of them have reported 45 minutes at least.
00:21:06
Speaker
Seven of them. And it's, but even 20 minutes is nuts. And it changes the entire tone of the wedding. Totally, totally. Yeah, food gets cold.
00:21:18
Speaker
you know it It ruins things. And so why should why should that ever happen? And it mystifies me. two things mystify me. One is that, ah that this isn't already an industry that they're, that 20% of the wedding in a four hour wedding has been left without serious professional guidance.
00:21:41
Speaker
And, you know, and how does that happen? And i know some planners tell them, give them instructions and whatnot, but we know that, that people just run off on their own And it just doesn't work.
00:21:56
Speaker
You need people to have a pro there that's walking them through these moments and to figure out how to how to hold the microphone. how to you know but Hey, you shouldn't say that. There's things that you shouldn't leave out. like you know don't Don't talk about ah certain... ah previous exes, for example, and things like that. Right. Don't talk about it.
00:22:17
Speaker
ah You don't need to bring up any of that. Nothing embarrassing. This is their day. You don't need to talk about how you don't like them, you know, you know, all that stuff. And so I, I, I don't understand that. And I also don't understand, you know, why we're not arming the couples to say, dad, this is why, know,
00:22:40
Speaker
I need you to stick to fuck like less than five minutes. It's not just, I need you to stick to five minutes. I need you to stick to five minutes because you're going to kill the energy yeah or you're going to make the food cold or restrict our dancing time. And you're going to throw the whole timeline off.
00:22:57
Speaker
And I've worked, we've worked so much and maybe, you know, whether it's my money or their money or whatever, you've paid a videographer. Let's make sure it's great. Right. Right. So, yeah. Okay. Like we've been talking about this this whole time, but what is your hot topic, at Brian?
00:23:10
Speaker
And why is it so near and dear to your heart? I know number three was ah your what wedding industry, but like what was like that like aha moment that you chose to be in the wedding industry and then the end your hot topic?
00:23:23
Speaker
Look, i'm I mean, I looked out there and there's, you know, 2.5 million weddings. And I, you know, I did the math of, you know, what percentage are estimated to have vows and whatnot. And I, you know, i looked at the potential of this as a business and, and got very excited. Yeah.
00:23:40
Speaker
You know, ah along the way, ah we've we've had a lot of obstacles that have been thrown our way. my The biggest one, and which is thankfully taken care of, was that Nicole got had breast cancer, a got diagnosed with breast cancer in late 2022.
00:23:58
Speaker
And, you know, so that was a shock to the system. We lost our one of our best friends in the world in ah mid 2023, you know, that was, that was, you know, that took me six months to get out of the, you know get to be able to sit at my desk without crying, you know? So there was, you know, there were things that happened along the way that were, some of them were just business mistakes, but and you just like rookie errors. And some of them were things like that, that, that slowed us down, I think. Um,
00:24:30
Speaker
But I saw the business potential overall and i still do, you know, and I, we're, we've gotten some great things, uh, happened to us along the way. we you know, we were featured in the New York times was a huge, you know, huge, huge thing for us.
00:24:46
Speaker
Um, but, uh, but we're still not where we, where we want to be and or where it could be. And I think, For me, what what drives me forward, ah aside from helping people and doing and loving what I do, is also that this is a good business. And it it is it is something that's been growing year after year, even if it's not the pace I would like it to be. you know It's been growing. And and we were...
00:25:11
Speaker
We've made some changes in terms of how we talk about things and how we market ourselves. And and those changes, because we've been meeting great people that have experience in the business and know how to give good advice. And so we've been listening to it and it's been working. So, ah you know, things that you just don't know until you're a few years in and you're paying attention and you've got the contacts and and that' that sort of thing. so Yeah. The aha thing started early, but I think the real aha thing has come over the last year as I've gotten more clarity of on what works and what doesn't and our mission and that sort of thing.
00:25:50
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. Okay, so let's get into it.
Tips on Speaking Skills
00:25:53
Speaker
How can – well, a lot of wedding pros are listening right now, some bride and grooms, but I think this is going to help everyone just with like speaking.
00:26:02
Speaker
in Toastmasters. It's helped me a lot. um But how can people like start improving their speaking skills or their speeches? You can take it any way, direction you want. So look, I'm not – against AI in general. I use it for a lot of different things.
00:26:20
Speaker
Uh, I don't use it for any kind of writing that it, that relates to vows or ceremonies. I think it needs a human, uh, touch and, and some of the things that you do as a human from a writing standpoint just can't be simulated.
00:26:37
Speaker
ah some of the flow and and that'll change someday, but everybody has access to good writing now, at least at some level. Yeah. So the number one thing I would say is people don't practice, right? You, if you have something that you want to say to a group of people, you need to say this thing over and over again, out loud.
00:27:02
Speaker
There is nothing that substitutes for the repetition and the muscle memory and the mental, ah even if it's not memorization, and I don't advise that people try and memorize it, but as you do it over and over and over again, you become fluent in it.
00:27:19
Speaker
And when you are fluent with what you're going to say, it comes out conversationally, even if it's written down. yeah And that's very different than when you hear somebody, you can tell when somebody is reading something, you're,
00:27:34
Speaker
And they haven't practiced it enough because there's a word by word cadence to it. And there's the stumbling and things like that, that happen. And it happens to most of us, but you can tell, and and there's a tonal difference. you They just read it like they're reading it and not like they're saying it.
00:27:54
Speaker
And that's the number one thing I think people need to do is if you've got something, you're going to speak out in front of an audience, do it 20 times out loud. Yeah. Uh, so I'm somebody that has trouble speaking extemporaneously about things that I am thinking about, it or I don't know off the top of my head.
00:28:15
Speaker
i tend to stutter. I tend to, do the, uh, and the, you knows and, and other quirks like everybody else. But you can edit that stuff out when you know where you're going or you're saying something that you've said before and it's just practice ah from a delivery standpoint.
00:28:37
Speaker
From a writing standpoint, I think people don't realize how long these things can be. And a page of copy at 11, like most people speak at about 120 150 words a minute.
00:28:54
Speaker
When they're reading, they tend to speak a little slower.
00:28:58
Speaker
Which means that if you've got something that's 600 words, right you're probably at four minutes or more. more Wow. 600 words, that's like a page. you know if yeah Unless you're breaking it up and into paragraphs and in in shorter paragraphs and whatnot, which you often do when you're writing a script. Yeah.
00:29:23
Speaker
But, you know, a typical speech that a three to four minute speech that I do 11 point font is a page and a half. Maybe. Yeah. And so people come in with three, four pages of material.
00:29:38
Speaker
yeah And so they're not timing it. They're not reading it out loud and timing it. That's another thing that people need to do. I think people try to be funny and they don't realize that the joke, the joke isn't necessarily, you're you're not there to be a comedian.
00:30:01
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. you're You're there. You might have a funny story, but it's got to be funny in context with where you are. And, who you know, it can't be just funny to you and the couple. Yeah. It's got to be funny to everybody.
00:30:13
Speaker
And so so that's a higher threshold. That said, humor breaks up. sentimentality and seriousness and a small joke can go a little bit of lightness could be all you need to, to balance out the very serious thing that you were talking about later. It just gives a little bit of relief to the weightiness of it all.
00:30:40
Speaker
All these things are like, I a hundred percent agree. Cause I just, I mean, I was just, all these bad speeches are coming up in my head and um yeah, saying jokes and no one's laughing or they think it's funny, but no one else thinks it's funny. And sometimes it's inappropriate. And I'm kind of like putting my damp my head down to the camera, like shaking my head and like walking like to the back because I don't really want to hear it.
00:31:07
Speaker
So embarrassing. Yeah. I mean look, if you've got a great punchline, It's one thing, but most people don't. And, and the story is funny, but it's not that funny. And so one of the benefits of approaching it that way and and treating it as just like a light moment is that if nobody laughs, you're onto next thing, right? You just, you can just keep going. You're not sitting there waiting for people to laugh, right? You can move on.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah. But it's a way of writing that that you just have to keep it flowing and have one thing move to the next thing to the move that moves to the next thing and it feels connected. One obstacle to that is when people have bullets, right? When people go up there with bullets and they haven't – this is not material that they've been doing over and over again.
00:31:58
Speaker
It's not material that they've done in the boardroom or or in a sales presentation and they just know. yeah where you could use bullets and know where you're going next with it, perhaps.
00:32:11
Speaker
But when someone has bullets, what happens is they start thinking about what they need to say for what that bullet represents. And that creates these unnatural pauses that...
00:32:23
Speaker
that break up the flow of what people are saying. You don't go from one thing to the next the same way. So that's why I advise people to write it all out word for word, practice it word for word.
00:32:35
Speaker
And then if you've practiced it enough, it it'll just come like bullets. It'll feel like bullets. For sure. I was so glad I practiced for my sister's um speech wedding ah Toastmasters with my parents. I was a lot younger um because I started crying in front of like these strangers. And I was like, thank God I did that. So I changed my whole speech and I it wasn't so like emotional.
00:32:58
Speaker
um But I'm so glad I did that because I save myself a lot of embarrassment. Wanting pros, I have a new and exciting opportunity for you to make passive income with digital products and courses and affiliate marketing.
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Speaker
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00:33:36
Speaker
And if you're ready to start making money from home while being there for the moments that matter, I can't wait to connect.
00:33:46
Speaker
Well, and look, you're a photographer. Does it ever bother you when when someone cries? It doesn't, but then when they get like choked up and they can't finish it If they can't finish it, it's one thing, right? Yeah. yeah yeah but But I think having people express that emotion, that love that they have, usually it's an emotion of love, right? I mean, if they're crying for other reasons, that's the problem.
00:34:08
Speaker
But ah if they're expressing that, getting choked up at who the audience goes, right. Oh, this is sweet.
00:34:19
Speaker
Right. You want that. You want people to have that feeling. So getting choked up is not the problem. It's the finishing, but for people, and I'm a crier, right? When I'm saying something, 100%, but the the way through that is also repetition because the first time you do that material, you might tear up the second time you might tear choke up.
00:34:42
Speaker
You're talking about, if you're doing vows, you're talking about the love of your life. But if you do it enough times, there's something about it that immunizes you a little bit.
00:34:53
Speaker
Just enough, right, to get through it and to still show the emotion. You're still going to feel the emotion. It's still the ah big moment. but But you can you can do it And it doesn't quite have the same sting as it did the first, you know, 10 times you did it.
00:35:08
Speaker
Yeah. so So that's one thing to consider. um You know, and i think I think people try and do too much. They try and say too much. I just had a client that, you know, kept inserting details in that that really weren't central to the mission.
00:35:27
Speaker
You didn't need them. yeah she thought She thought it provided depth. I, as a listener, thought it was making it drag. You've already said the point. You don't need to elaborate here. just Just get to the fun parts or get to the heart, the sentimental parts. and you don't you don't There are times where you need that color for humor or or to drive a point home, but...
00:35:51
Speaker
But sometimes it gets, you look at the copy and it's just, you listen to it and it just starts to drag because they're trying to do too much. They're trying they're trying to squeeze things in rather than to just make the the broad point of love and and ah and ah appreciation of both of them as a couple, for example.
00:36:11
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. um I guess just like question to wrap it all up.
Vows and Speeches Process Explained
00:36:15
Speaker
um What is it like for a couple working with you? And then um how can people get in touch with you? Because I feel like I want to share this message to my couples and wedding pros to i'll tell their couples because um this could be a like a make or break for their wedding. Yeah.
00:36:36
Speaker
Well, the the the fun answer is working with us is awesome. That's what it's like. it's It's just awesome. You have a lot of fun. It is. I've heard more than this. The real answer is it's it's all interview based.
00:36:49
Speaker
So you don't do the first draft. What we do is we interview you. That interview could be usually could be an hour of of me interviewing, it going into a lot of depth, asking questions that you haven't perhaps even asked of yourself. Yeah. ah Getting fun material. I know where to find the fun stuff. I think that's really the the most valuable part of what we do is the interview.
00:37:14
Speaker
because we're really good at getting that stuff and, and sniffing out the stories and and the fun things that I know an audience would like. I mean, i used to make politicians somewhat interesting. I can make this as much as it is.
00:37:28
Speaker
But, um, But then we provide you with a draft. You get unlimited revisions. So either you want to make some edits or suggest edits, however you want to do it. We can do it on the Google Doc. We can do it over the phone, whatever.
00:37:41
Speaker
ah And then once the draft is finalized or close to it, that's when you start practicing. But then as ah in every package, you get at least three rehearsal sessions where you'll do it for us. Oh, cool.
00:37:54
Speaker
on how to do it better. or We'll give you the instructions that you need to to refine it. and And then you're off to the races. And I mean, anybody that that's curious about the outcome, you know please go to our testimonials page on our website, ah which is at vowsandspeeches.com. That's
00:38:18
Speaker
vowsandspeeches.com. ah There you can see all of the information about our various services and about more about us. There's a whole bulleted list of fun facts that we put up there if you're curious.
00:38:30
Speaker
And then, you know, testimonials and whatnot. On Instagram, I've done a bunch of videos, as you as you mentioned, that talk about various aspects of this. And and one thing I would tell people, by the way, I i didn't wanted to mention before, when you've done your own personalized vows,
00:38:47
Speaker
Put them on your wall, whether it's the written one or not. Put them on your wall. It's something that you can reference whenever you're... you're they're mad at you or you're mad at them.
00:38:58
Speaker
You know, they can look at, they can look at it or you can look at it and just remind yourself of all the things that you love about the person that you're with. And I think it's, you know, that's, it's a declaration of love. It should be revered.
00:39:13
Speaker
And so, and I think it's a nice tool to have from a marriage, a marriage standpoint. So ah So anyway, but that's, I digress. Vowsandspeaches.com. If you want to go to Instagram, it's Instagram.com slash Vowsandspeaches.
00:39:28
Speaker
And pretty much everything is Vowsandspeaches. And we've got some samples on our website, on our YouTube page. And, ah you know, it's just having fun. we We love what we do. We really love this business so much. And it's we really, you know, it hasn't been easy, but it's been the best decision I've made, and you know, from a business standpoint ever.
00:39:47
Speaker
So. Those are beautiful words, lasting words. Thank you, Brian.
00:39:55
Speaker
Thanks for joining me this week on Get a Heck Yes with Carissa Wu. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or tell a friend about the show. Take a screenshot and post to IG. Tag me. Also, don't forget to download my free guide on how to become a lead generating machine.
00:40:11
Speaker
See you next time, wedding pros.