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Ep. 19: Tails Don't Lie
24 Plays6 days ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet and animal stories. In this episode we talk about surgery bugs, clinic pranks, and scrub mishaps. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spill@spillthekibble.com
TW-surgery, bugs, blood, partial nudity
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
nor listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show.
Meet the Hosts
00:00:30
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Cal. Fine, fresh, feminine style to 11. I'm divine, so heavenly, gentlemen, sweat, and stimes across the board, no doubt. I'm Dr. G. And I'm Dr. M. but And we're here to tell your clinic stories and lay some fresh beats.
00:00:49
Speaker
But first, how are you both doing? Asking me what I'm moving my mouth for before. Yeah, it was rapping. I was rapping myself. He prepared everyone.
00:01:00
Speaker
Practicing, practicing and makes perfect. and ah Well, again, guess who's back in the house? Surgery week two. Happy to be back. A little cat in the little cat's bay in heat with some fleas on it.
Tales of Cats and Fleas
00:01:16
Speaker
Oh, these fleas are just the sprinkle on top. Hells all the time. Yeah, you didn't find it until later, though. But thankfully, none jumped in. Have you ever had bugs jump into a surgery site? No, because I'm not nasty like you.
00:01:29
Speaker
well ma Why am I the nasty one? You didn't flea check before it got on the table? Yeah, I looked it over. Okay. This one had one flea, as all know. It had one flea. One secret fee that it clearly got at the hospital and didn't bring in. Wait, no, it didn't get it at the hospital. No.
00:01:50
Speaker
It came in with one. That's what owners always say, though. It was sleeping when I combed it. My college roommates found a cat in the dumpster and brought it into our house.
00:02:02
Speaker
And we all had cats before this cat came in and we all of our cats got fleas. And I had fleas in my bed. That stinks. That's not fair. you evicted them, right?
00:02:13
Speaker
No, we just treated all the cats. They had named the cat. I can't have them get rid of the dumpster cat. What they name it Okay, well, my roommate put out three items on the ground.
00:02:24
Speaker
I don't remember all the three items, but whatever. Squirtle? Charmander? Yep, yep. And the cat went to the penny, so they named her Penny.
00:02:35
Speaker
was going to here's a copper. They named her Lincoln. That would have been way more creative. One cent. Well, yeah. and Now I really want to know the other two
Creative Cat Naming
00:02:48
Speaker
items. were I think one was like a bow because I think my roommate wanted to name her Bowie because she liked David Bowie.
00:02:57
Speaker
so And then i feel like the other one was like, I don't know, a flower of some kind. I don't know what kind of flower. but Whatever it was. It's supposed to be Daisy. Yeah. Oh, lots of fire. Clearly that cat was so anemic from the fleece that it followed that proper penny smell.
00:03:15
Speaker
It was so desperate for some blood and minerals. It was like, dear God, I need this in my system immediately. I didn't even think that. I just thought like, oh, she's just, she knows she needs money. She's been living in the dumpster. She's a sugar baby.
00:03:29
Speaker
That's true. Both are possible. Oh, that's very fun letting them tick their names, but with absolute guardrails on so yeah three options and that's it three pre-approved options i've seen people write names on pieces of paper and then like do like bracket style throw them at cat and you know and in vet school i helped coordinate one of our fantasy football drafts and i did put an oven on squid's head let me thanks i would play i would play fantasy football for cats but no this was for cool cats humans um
00:04:06
Speaker
And I took Squid and I put an oven. So I had everyone's everyone's team names in a circle ripped on a piece of paper. And I put a piece of kibble on each of them. And then I put Squid in the middle, who was my cat. And I put oven mitt on her head to blindfold her. And I spun her around and then I took the oven mitt off. And we decided wherever she went and ate the kibbles, that was the order of the draft.
00:04:24
Speaker
She ate them kibbles. End scene. She got them kibbies, all 12. Science. Yeah. Double-blinded study. I had an owner that he and his dad would name all the pets, and they would skim through the dictionary and then say, stop.
00:04:39
Speaker
They'd get to a specific letter, skim again to get to a page, and then they would search that page and pick a name from the page. And that's how I had a patient named Lunchbox and another one named Zephyr. And those were very
Funny Names and Reading Habits
00:04:51
Speaker
cool names. Yeah. Zephyr's great. Lunchbox, also a cool name. Who I thinking of? He was such a Lunchbox.
00:04:58
Speaker
Do think you remember, Dr. M, the day that I was reading that baby name book for my child? Yes, like it was yesterday. There was a page of like famous people names.
00:05:14
Speaker
Mm-hmm. and i was And I was going through the list and it was like, you know, i don't even remember exactly, but but I remember we got to Oprah and then Adolf.
00:05:26
Speaker
Yeah. Like, as if that was a person you want to name your kid after. i also believe Osama bin Laden was on that list. Osama bin Laden was on that list. Maybe it's about taking the power back.
00:05:39
Speaker
Yeah. One person capitalizes a name for the rest of time. I couldn't get over it. I laughed so hard I couldn't get through whole page. We were we were ah having a maximum giggle fest for sure. I think like Rudolph and then it said like red-nosed reindeer in parentheses just so you wouldn't get it twisted. which yeah the Wait, so did they say which Oprah it was?
00:06:01
Speaker
They did. clarification? It was Oprah, Oprah, um, Smith, actually. Oprah Smith. yeah Yeah. Yeah. Shocker. Not the Oprah you were thinking. The lesser known Oprah of our generation. It changed my world. Yeah.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yeah. so The other Oprah. Yeah. The symbol formerly known as Oprah. It was, it was a wild ride. Yeah. I'll find the vids. I'll share them with you. there's yeah Yeah. There's a video of me. Oh yeah. Several. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:31
Speaker
A video of Kel reading a book. Give me. I know. I was very, very funny. No, i i I was imagining you. I was imagining a video of you silently reading a book. But yes, if you're an narrating and reacting. oh I'm saying it out loud. ble what this is ah Listeners, I always read out loud. I do that on the show, too. She can't do it any other way. It's always been that way. She's got to sound out the words. It drives my family insane. I'm just sitting there reading out loud.
00:07:04
Speaker
Yeah, the dictionary, thesaurus, you
Bug Stories in the Surgery Room
00:07:09
Speaker
know. Okay, well, in other news, how was a surgery week? Well, no fleas got in the incision.
00:07:16
Speaker
Oh, okay. Well, thank God. No fleas got the incision. One time I did have um some bug. This is a different practice a long time ago, but there was, I guess, some sort of an insect in the lights above or in the ceiling where the surgical lights attached and, yeah, bug fell onto my patient mid-surgery. That was a- Did you feel like it was like the scene Seinfeld where the junior mint just flies into the surgery? I'm almost sure I referenced the junior mints in that moment.
00:07:49
Speaker
That one didn't have eight legs, but we got it out, lavaged like crazy, and- Would that cause an infection? Like a really bad infection?
00:08:03
Speaker
There's a good chance it would. An immune system have something to do about it. They're basic they're all protein, right? I've seen a dog come into emergency with a gauze still so still inside its body after a spay.
00:08:16
Speaker
yeah And that is bad. That's a bad one. But that's a foreign object that's synthetic. A bug. I mean, get in the comments. I think there's a very low chance that the body could fight that spider from the inside out. and Do you think it depends on the bug?
00:08:34
Speaker
I think it depends on the bug, it depends on how much chitin we're talking. A genet, probably Hemolymph, right. A little no-see-um, you're gone. um Hey, speaking of bugs being where they're not supposed to be, today a bee got into the hospital and everyone panicked and closed the door to the room that the bee was trapped in and there was no other adults to handle it.
00:08:56
Speaker
So I got a fly swatter, not my first choice, and a little handheld vacuum, And can I just say he was very easy to suck up into that vacuum. And then I released him outside like a good citizen.
00:09:09
Speaker
Protect our pollinators. Thank you. I was terrified, but I did it. So I'm hearing spring has sprung. Spring has officially sprung, you guys. Bees are in the building. We be vacuuming up bees up in here. see you didn't have to use the fly swatter on the bee. You just suck him on it?
00:09:25
Speaker
did not. just sucked him on that. That was my first choice. I didn't want I have to turn to violence if I could contain and release him. Was it a live release? You can suck up any old bug in that. You can. It was like a pretty chill little handheld guy, and he was just like chilling on the filter, and then I just opened up the filter and released him.
00:09:40
Speaker
Hey, that's cool. Yeah. We use it to suck up hair. You could do with spiders. sure And what are spiders and bees if not other kinds of hair? Yeah.
00:09:52
Speaker
Fuzzy, buzzy, all the same. It all comes becomes dust eventually. if you give it enough time, you know? Wow, too deep. Just saying. Ashes to ashes, fam, I hear you. Spring has sprung. Easter has happened. So I have a question. When a bug what falls into a surgery, what do you have to to try to get it out?
00:10:16
Speaker
me scream. um And then what you do is you put... Okay, this isn't what Dr. M would do. you put spider You put spider food on the outside of your incision. You name it? To try to lure it.
00:10:27
Speaker
ah No, you never name it. Oh, you never name it. No. Sometimes I like to try to have it bite me through my sterile gloves to see if I get powers. Because then I can quit my day job. It hasn't happened yet. My hands hurt a lot. How much money does a superhero make though? i don't know. If you do a little bit of evil on the side, I feel like you can make a decent amount. You can at least do like betting.
00:10:51
Speaker
She's morally gray. wait Betting on what? Like where I'm going to show up next. Oh, okay. So you need to have a secret identity. It's a DraftKings situation. Yeah. I have like regular me with glasses on, take the glasses off. Now I know where I'm going to be.
00:11:10
Speaker
Sounds like Dr. Emma's only watched the first Spider-Man movie. This is true. Because she knows that he sells his photos for money. flash And that's the only reference she has. And I'm going to keep it that way. And if I were to say Bonesaw, would you know it? only She's seen some of the first Spider-Man. It's probably been a really long time.
00:11:36
Speaker
It has been a long time. ah But no, you feed it a little food to get it to crawl out of the abdomen, and then you flush the abdomen with sterile ah saline just to like get all the the boogers and the goblins out.
00:11:49
Speaker
And then you suck all that out with a cute little suction, and you close it on up. Yeah, I tried like nor i like Noriega. I tried to play really loud music. It didn't work. So then yeah I scooped it on out. did you Did you light a lemon candle and then insert it into the abdomen? Because I heard spiders don't like lemon.
00:12:05
Speaker
i I think I told you that. I was unaware of this, but next time I definitely don't either. They don't like lemon candles. Let a little lemon Neo or Crystal Light into your saline and splash away. could What could go wrong?
00:12:22
Speaker
guess the fire and the oxygen is what gets me wrong. Yeah, that's fair got a fire bad in that situation. Fire, do you be bad? Fire, beds spider, still bad.
00:12:34
Speaker
Not as bad as fire. no Or wax. Wax, I feel like they wouldn't care about on the inside. I might take wax over spider. I think it goes ah from worst to best, fire, spider, wax.
00:12:50
Speaker
ah Wait, dropp drop walls in there for me. Fire, gauze, spider, wax. You the judge. ah Give him the comments. No, I think, rap, paper, scissors. Right.
00:13:03
Speaker
Yeah. Gauze, wax, spider. Exactly. And one of them ends up with sepsis. We don't know which. It's you. It's you, the listener. Yeah.
00:13:15
Speaker
That's just like Russian roulette. Yeah. Anyway, no spiders, no bugs, no fleas got in my incision. Good. You got a cap star up the bum right after that.
00:13:26
Speaker
Call it a day. Zip zap. Classic move. We're very proud of you. The day I realized that you could get rid of maggots by just putting a cap star up the butt instead of individually picking them off was the day I think I really came into my own as a doctor.
00:13:38
Speaker
that's you know You finally get to hang up your tweezers for good and just get back to get back to what really matters. Pill up the butt, walk away. i would want to pick every single one off. know you would. it is but that's fun.
00:13:54
Speaker
It's just it takes a while. Takes a long time. yeah Pill up the butt a little bit faster. I gotta get kicks somewhere. You could still pick them off when they're dead or they'll abandon ship when you can clean them away. you pick them out while it's working. It takes a village.
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah, it does. Yeah, you get the ones that are kind of surfing on top of the other bed of maggots because they're not goingnna get they're gonna get, they don't get to eat their medicine as fast as the other guys.
00:14:19
Speaker
It's true. Are we done with
Vet Pranks and Humor
00:14:21
Speaker
small talk? I think we're done with bug talk. i think Was this small talk? I don't even know. Bug topics? Bug talk. I have stories.
00:14:31
Speaker
Big talk. Oh, yes, please. The Vetsulin has been shaken. The units have been drawn up and them sweet, sweet sugars are going down swinging.
00:14:42
Speaker
It's time to spill the kibble. Hooray. much Munch munch. ah Dr. G asked if you're supposed to shake that insulin.
00:14:53
Speaker
Well, not all that insulin. That's a Lynn TMTM. The brand specifically, you are supposed to shake to a milky consistency. But please read the instructions on whatever insulin your vet gave to you. It will tell you if it needs to be shaken or not. Or stir. I'm a serial roller and inverter. So now I got I got to go back and check. I hope that's been getting the job done.
00:15:17
Speaker
See? It's better than leaving it still. Still or sparkling? What kind insulin do you want? Okay, we bougie up in here. yeah shiing Okay. So, i have two silly stories for you today.
00:15:33
Speaker
I just found them on the Bark Web. Love it. Fluff. Okay, so the first one begins. We once had a client come in with a beautiful white Maltese mix for a routine visit.
00:15:49
Speaker
Everything was going normally, vaccines, preventatives, and discussion about spaying, until the owner suddenly asked if we could transplant a different tail onto his dog.
00:16:04
Speaker
He explained very seriously that he didn't like the current tail and wanted it to be pink. Just really clear. How are we spelling that word? What word?
00:16:16
Speaker
Kail. T-A-I-L. God, that's what I'd feared. Okay, keep going. we need Frank and weenie at the ready. i want to know what you guys would think if somebody said that to you.
00:16:31
Speaker
I would find a playful way to dissuade them from wanting to do that. And I would tell literally everyone in the hospital that that just happened to me. So this person told the entire Internet.
00:16:44
Speaker
So they all got they all got it. So they um he wants the tail to be pink. Yes. Yes. The skin is a fur.
00:16:56
Speaker
Probably the fur. We could dye it. extensions. Yeah. but's There's ways around it. i But this does feel like the dog version of those guys who get leg lengthening surgery. I may ask about that, but hey, that's a real thing. So who knows? There probably is some freak out there who's putting new tails on dogs.
00:17:13
Speaker
um I should have started. This is a tech story from a tech. Incredible. Thank you. So let's see. why Well, it's from the Internet. I just found it.
00:17:23
Speaker
Yeah. but if they're listening. Thank you. That's true. So it continues. I calmly explained that tail transplants weren't possible.
00:17:34
Speaker
But the owner refused to accept that and demanded to speak with the veterinarian. Our only vet was in the middle of surgery. But after I relayed the question, the answer remained the same.
00:17:47
Speaker
Even suggesting dying the tail didn't satisfy the client, who is becoming increasingly upset. These designer dogs have gotten out of control. That's all I'm going say. This isn't Mr. Potato Head. like Buddy spaghetti. Best case scenario, I can remove the tail if I have a really good reason.
00:18:07
Speaker
who <unk> So should we see what the vet said? Yes, please. So after going back and forth with the doctor, I was shocked when he told me to inform the owner that we could keep the dog overnight for transplant.
00:18:22
Speaker
Completely confused, I returned to the exam room and began explaining sedation and overnight care. Until the owner bursts out laughing. And the vet walked in laughing too. oh Brutal. Dirty dog. Dirty dogs. It turns out the client and the vet were friends and had planned the entire thing as a prank.
00:18:43
Speaker
The owner complimented me for staying so professional and calm throughout the ordeal. We all laughed. The dog finished and his exam and And he went home happily, tail exactly as it was when he arrived.
00:18:58
Speaker
Iconic. Green. That's great. Have you ever pranked friends coming in with their pets, techs, other vets? What kind of hijinks do you two get up to?
00:19:10
Speaker
I've been pranked. Oh, really? I've been pranked. I had a family friend um appear unannounced and they said that they needed to talk to me right away because they thought they had cat scratch fever and that it was an emergency.
00:19:24
Speaker
And then I walked outside and it was my best friend's mom. and She had been at the dentist next door and she just wanted to take me out for lunch. And it was like, well, they were like, there's some crazy blonde lady. She won't give us her name. She said she has cat scratch fever and you need to go up right away. And i she won't leave. And I was like, perfect.
00:19:39
Speaker
i I know who this is. Do I not? yeah You one hundred percent do. You 100% ah That was a delightful break. I've also had our mom call and ask to speak to me during my like first job. But she used my first name, which could be a dog's name.
00:19:58
Speaker
And they were like, ah what's the owner's name of that pet? I'm not sure who's calling. And it was, she was like, oh no, what the doctor. It's not a dog. um so it was kind of an accidental prank, but it was pretty funny.
00:20:13
Speaker
The ones that popped in my mind are too, too macabre to think. all oh I was praying. I didn't do the pranking. and I was pranked and it was it was dark pranks. It was dark prank. Yeah. Did you cry I did not cry because the person disavowed me of that very quickly after after they after they said the thing they they quickly ah let me know that it was just a goof.
00:20:39
Speaker
Got it, got it, got it. You got to get sillier people to visit your work. Sillier people. But I do, I mean, and that does make me think about our, um you know, our annual skits at school.
00:20:52
Speaker
ah The time that me and one of our dear friends ah orchestrated a number of pranks in the wildlife clinic with strange phone calls from concerned citizens about wildlife.
00:21:06
Speaker
It was perfect. My favorite absolutely being that one of the managers, we made sure they were answering the phone. They were primed from the director of the clinic that very important client was about a very important benefactor of the Wild Lift Clinic was about to call. And he was proceeded to be walked through a woman who was struggling to get her raccoons to continue breastfeeding.
00:21:28
Speaker
um He went as far as to suggest perhaps she could put a little bit of sugar on her nipple.
00:21:38
Speaker
ah She then eventually invited him to come over so like he could see the vibe and make sure that it like... it's so Like a lactation consultant.
00:21:49
Speaker
She like crushed it. She maintained stone cold the whole time. it was crazy. You originally asked if I would do it. And I said, there's no way I can do that without breaking. And I suggested the girl you got to do it. And it was the right call. Just saying.
00:22:04
Speaker
If you're listening, Dr. J, Dr. Z, thank You're great sports. Man, there was a moment when Dr. J almost was going to come work at a clinic that I was at. And ah Unless they went somewhere else. That's so sad.
00:22:20
Speaker
It's all right. They, you know, they, they were where they belong. Yeah. ah But that actually, the tail transplant reminded me something that happened today. I had a client in earnest and like looking at me like I was a fool and now I might be eating my words if I'm wrong, but I did a quick curse research before I brought this up. ah They asked me if, um if I recommend tail docking to prevent hip dysplasia.
00:22:43
Speaker
Have you heard of this? Wives tale. Have you heard of it that that it's a wives tale? No, I've never heard of it, but I immediately have clocked it a wives tale. I have also never heard of this until someone asked me about it today. And thank goodness.
00:22:59
Speaker
They're going to shake their hips whether they have a tail or not. Listen, Shakira, she's going to dance. Oh, she's a card carrying hip dysplasia sufferer.
00:23:12
Speaker
Tell Feather or No. That crap it is still. Why? I mean, I've seen a dog come in that continually hit their tail on the wall too many times that it was like ah just horrible. And at that point, they couldn't do anything about it.
00:23:28
Speaker
But i don't know. Yeah. right want buy One of my buddies was in town from Vermont. His dog swung it too good, busted up their tail, needed an amputation, and then they didn't dock it that far, and it needed a revision, I think.
00:23:43
Speaker
A second one. revision. A tail revision. This is an even happier tail. Okay, good. So if anyone's ever heard of tail docking for hip dysplasia, please share it.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yeah, email us. Please share at least two peer-reviewed articles. Yeah. Get into Google Scholar. That's a thing to do. Also, I just updated our website, and now we have a submission form. you don't even have to use your email. Yay. You can just submit it, and you can do it anonymously.
00:24:14
Speaker
Amazing. We love that. It's just spillthekibble.com. There's no paper trail. No. Listen, and I'm not saying that this would be an opportunity to prank Dr. G in an anonymous way, but for those of you listening who want to, this is an opportunity. I'm just saying.
00:24:30
Speaker
will. I'll swap your tail. I will leave you a voicemail. So less macabre pranking could happen for any listeners that are, you know, inspired. That's all i'm saying.
00:24:41
Speaker
No, I'm a great sport. He deserves a better prank. Yeah, get me good. You do. Get me good. Cheers.
00:24:48
Speaker
ah Excellent story. Love that. Wait, what's the website? Did you say it? Oh, yeah. Spillthekible.com. How do you spill that? How do I spill that? do you spill that? spill those kibbies.
00:25:01
Speaker
S-P-I-L-L-T-H-E-K-I-B-B-L-E.com. home That's how I would have done it. Yeah. Thanks for getting that up. Great job.
00:25:12
Speaker
I used my minimal understanding of HTML and CSS. Yeah, I did my best. It's okay. ah You're talking to a bunch of science nerds. I know HTML. I don't know the other thing.
00:25:26
Speaker
No, I was trying to think. Chocolate, shake. Chocolate, crunchy shake.
00:25:32
Speaker
CSS. Okay, um i have we have another story.
Emergency Surgery on a German Shepherd
00:25:36
Speaker
Hit me. All right. Again, another one for the Bark Web. Woof. Woof. The story begins, a German shepherd is rushed into our hospital.
00:25:48
Speaker
Pale, lethargic, clearly very sick. Diagnostics come back and it's bad news. What do you think it is? Another prank. Spleen? Shock?
00:26:01
Speaker
ah Yeah, probably we're going to say ruptured splenic tumor. Yeah, or shock. That's so sorry. Ding, ding, ding. It's a ruptured splenic tumor. Oh, okay. Never mind.
00:26:13
Speaker
It always is. It often is. No time to waste. The dog is wheeled straight into emergency surgery. Yes. Of course, it's a classic short-staffed day.
00:26:27
Speaker
Because of course it is, right? yeah Yeah, that's the nature of things. It's Tuesday. In the surgery room, it's just one doctor and me. That's it. No extra hands, no backup. We're in full survival mode.
00:26:40
Speaker
You got this, guys. You can do two-person splenectomy normally fine. So have you guys been there, done that? not for Not for a splenectomy. In GP, yes. I've had like a little like um the associate maybe like check on me every once in a while and advise, but most of the spleens I've taken out, I've done solo with just a tech.
00:26:59
Speaker
Nice. Nice. It's stressful. I cried once. Well, tears are sterile, so you're okay. Say, Liam. If you have to remove the spleen, is it always ruptured? For it sounds like what this issue is, like a hemoabdomen from a ruptured spleen, generally. Once I took one out because they caught it on ultrasound. Like, it was an ultrasound for another reason, and they caught a big old splenic tumor. So we took it out preemptively before it ruptured.
00:27:27
Speaker
Smart. That's always nice. Oh, yeah. Typically, you're not removing the spleen for any other reason other than a tumor. Yeah, well, I mean, you need it. Or to sell it on the black market if you're really struck for cash and you're a superhero.
00:27:40
Speaker
A lot of the time, do you find out the spleen is know a tumor because it ruptured? and Yes, typically, i mean, you can, again, like Dr. G mentioned, like sometimes you can catch it, usually when we're looking for something else, and you go, whoopsie, that doesn't look quite right. But most of the time, it's an emergency situation, I feel like, before we find it.
00:27:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's a slow grower, and it's it's not doing anything to them until it breaks. That is your classic Labrador or German Shepherd, some sort of some sort of a large breed dog that eats breakfast, goes out in the backyard, and collapses.
00:28:14
Speaker
Or skips skips breakfast and collapses. and you're like But never they never skip breakfast. And then you you push their belly and it jiggles and you make blood come out. Yeah.
00:28:26
Speaker
Later. butda bo Not initially. Bang, bang, boom. Great. Well, let's continue the story. yes please. The spleen comes out along with this massive seven pound tumor.
00:28:39
Speaker
My job? Hold the entire thing. Spleen, tumor, all of it. While the doctor slowly, carefully ties off vessel after vessel. We're talking a long, intense surgery. My arms are cramping. I can't shift my weight. I can't move. i am locked in. Sounds about right.
00:29:01
Speaker
That I've been a part of. On the other side? Fingerdoins for hours, it feels. So let's see what happens. What I don't realize is that somewhere along the way, my scrub pants have betrayed me.
00:29:18
Speaker
Oh no. Unbeknownst to me, they have slowly slid down all the way to my ankles. ah Oh goodness. like ah ah Like a little kid at the urinal.
00:29:36
Speaker
Have of you ever had a scrub malfunction? ah Yeah, all the time. Dr. M is shaking her head no. No. Really? all No, haven't had a scrim malfunction. I did one time I leaned down to pick up a pug and a button flew off my coat and I was like, the diet starts today. thing is, thing is it it wasn't even buttons.
00:30:01
Speaker
ah No, I get sweaty in surgery, but I've never lost my drawers. No, my britches never don't fall down in the OR, but yeah, you know i've had to I've had to hike them up a good bit. Nip slip? What'd you have happen? Yeah, they both fell out the sides.
00:30:16
Speaker
I feel like when I was an assistant in a tech and I'm as a perfect gentleman, just, you know, you're taking in the world around you. So much underwear was coming out of was sticking out.
00:30:30
Speaker
Sure. I'm going to say Whale Sales or others. um Gender aside, just everyone's everyone had it like their cracks hanging out. And I don't know what changed. i think it was the admin of figs or some other like.
Wardrobe Malfunctions and Vet Life
00:30:44
Speaker
hey Yes.
00:30:45
Speaker
Whale tails are specifically for thongs. You're telling me everyone in that clinic was wearing thongs in their scrubs. Bruh, you don't know where I work. I'm over the place. we are A lot of people are. Not just thongs. There were boxers. There were boxer briefs. There were people that maybe didn't do I don't know.
00:31:08
Speaker
um But I've seen it all the time. And I think it's not until people started buying their own scrubs and not taking like the paper-thin hospital-issued stuff drawstring no elastics, but back out a lot better, which is good.
00:31:24
Speaker
So yeah I have seen a precipitous drop off over the last decade of ah people's undies coming out in their scrubs. I feel like there were a lot of unisex scrub pants that did not allow for a tuchus or hips.
00:31:40
Speaker
Yes, I still have old i saw some old hospital-issued ones that are like Landau, just like straight-up drawstring. I was wearing them yesterday. My girlfriend and i were going for a walk in the park, and I was wearing those for fun. And as we got out of the car, i had to do the old, like, suck it in, tie them tight, really, really tight. Because, you know, as soon as you cinch it, it's going to relax a little bit, and then it's already drooping.
00:32:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It happens, I guess. Hey, guys, yeah they stayed on the whole walk. a No ripped pants? No, just... ah Oh, yeah.
00:32:15
Speaker
I've ripped them, but never to the point where i need to delay change them in the moment. no it's like There's like a double seam on some of them. um Okay. I got a bunch of blood on my shoe today, so it's about time to retire this set.
00:32:28
Speaker
upgrade Upgrade to a clean pair of sneakers. What brand are you rocking right now? Oh, I'm an on cloud guy at the moment. Okay, I see a lot of that. I've on my second set of on clouds. Not sponsored. Not sponsored, but on cloud, Hoka, Hoka?
00:32:46
Speaker
Hoka, I think I'm rocking some Merrells right now. Brooks, those are the three. What's Merrell? Merrell. Merrell. ah come on Hey, how do you spell it? M-E-R-R-I-L-L, I believe.
00:32:57
Speaker
Okay. I'm a pair of winter boots. They're very nice. Winter boots. Closed toes. Winter boots. Winter boots. These are my winter boots.
00:33:09
Speaker
So guess we should go back to the story. Yeah, probably. Right. Because it's going to get funny. It's going to get goofy soon. So pants down to the ankles. That's where we're at.
00:33:22
Speaker
Two hours go by. Finally, our hospital manager pops into surgery just to check on us. She looks at me, pauses, and very calmly asks, so, how long have your pants been down? And where do you want your last paycheck mailed?
00:33:40
Speaker
And that was the moment I realized what had happened. Oh my gosh. Listen, sometimes you be working up a sweat and you can't tell what's skin and what's scrub anymore. Ugh.
00:33:54
Speaker
It's hot in that room, especially with a gown all on. It traps the heat so bad. That back that lower back sweat is undeniable. So warm enough not to worry.
00:34:05
Speaker
you know, not to feel the breeze. True. Probably never a breeze. What do you mean not to worry? I mean, it's only you and the doc. We talking shrinkage? What are we talking?
00:34:17
Speaker
It's warm enough. We're talking bugs getting in the surgery site, bugs getting in your pants, ants in the pants. Bugs in your butt. Bugs in your butt. Wow. Gotta watch out. Wow.
00:34:27
Speaker
There's a wild west out here. Sort of finished the story. I'm still fully scrubbed in, still gowned, still sterile, still holding a dog's spleen and a seven-pound tumor like my life depends on it.
00:34:40
Speaker
but Now, without moving an inch, I have to make eye contact with my boss and say, can you pull up my pants? i So there I am, arms shaking, holding organs while my manager fixes my pants mid-surgery.
00:34:55
Speaker
We finish the procedure, dog pulls through surgery. My dignity? Not so much. Aww. Well, now I got to give a shout out to Vince. Vince was an overnight tech that I worked with for a long time.
00:35:10
Speaker
And my guy Vince always wore jeans underneath his scrubs. What? Full length. And they're not cutoffs. They're not George. They're not nothing. He's not a never knew. Vince. know he gets down, but like always denim jean, denim underneath the scrubs. And I thought that was wild. And now this will never happen to Vince.
00:35:30
Speaker
No. no No. Whale tail won't be seen. Totally redeemed my guy. Now, here's my other question. um Do you feel comfortable with asking your hospital manager to pull up your pants?
00:35:44
Speaker
I'm my own boss, so absolutely. Unfortunately, I would feel comfortable. Unfortunately? yeah For them? Well, it just, it ah it assumes a certain level of two closeness.
00:36:00
Speaker
Right. That I feel like often um exists within the world of vet med, where like the job is so intense and gross at times that like there's really no boundaries. You're so on top of each other and you have so many weird combined experiences that like nothing is strange anymore in some sort of a way.
00:36:18
Speaker
I think it's a good boots on the ground approach to practice management. There's a lot that won't get out there. So I'm going to say when you're out there looking for a place to work, you don't think that practice manager would hoist your bitches. If they felt down in surgery, you ain't going to like working there.
00:36:34
Speaker
yeah Find a manager that would. I think any of your staff, they saw your pants were down your ankles, would immediately rush in to help you. would, but here's what they would do first. Videos and photographs would be taken.
00:36:49
Speaker
i just got the snaps. to fill a reel for sure i would never hear the end of it it would be printed everywhere every April 1st all over the hospital and I would love it because that's deserved that's hilarious what is the worst thing that's happened to you miz surgery well not worse but like craziest where you were like oh I can't do anything I'm sterile and like I can't touch anything and I need someone to do this thing You remember when I talked about that bug falling?
00:37:19
Speaker
Something. other them yeah a You're right, you're right. A lot of the time it's ah wiping the fog off my glasses, pinching my mask, pull my mask up, ah Only like once or twice have I asked someone in earnest to dab my brow.
00:37:36
Speaker
ah Never blown nose. You can sneeze right into your mask straight forward. You can word I think I have nasty sneezed into my mask, but like you just got to deal with it.
00:37:47
Speaker
You just got to deal. don't think I've done anything out else wild. Scratching itches, yeah. Is this the kind of surgery that takes the longest or are they're even longer? ah of all surgeries or the description of the splenectomy?
00:38:02
Speaker
Of having to tie off vessel after vessel. I think that's maybe an organ situation. It's a longer... These are super vascular and it depends what you're working with. ah Best case scenario, you can batch it into like three clumps of vessels, but that's not always going to work.
00:38:20
Speaker
Best thing you're going to want is you're going want to have a ligature on it. But that is not a piece of candy that everyone's allowed to enjoy. I've never had it. I've just cried, sneezed, and done my best. Just keep going.
00:38:34
Speaker
and I did this super vascular mass removal today with... um No, no cautery other than like a little handheld unit that was just not cutting the mustard. So I had to go back to basics and doing hand ties. I am Yeah, I'm getting at it. Do you want to describe what a licorice is for those that don't know?
00:38:54
Speaker
But AKA me, i don't know what that is. Totally. So Ligashur, break it in half. Liga, like ligate. And sure, like, sure, let's do it. OK. Or I'm sure that I got them.
00:39:06
Speaker
And so it is it is an electrocautery device that both ah that both cauterizes, seals, and severs these vessels on the appropriate end. So basically, it is a flat iron. Does that sound right?
00:39:21
Speaker
Yeah. Flat iron with the blade in the middle. Millennial girls, hear me out. You could learn this skill in a heartbeat. It's like a one styler, but for blood. Does that help?
00:39:36
Speaker
Straighten the vessels out. Yeah, and yeah boy, it saves you from tying knots with suture around all those veins in at least two locations. And save your technician from their pants falling down.
00:39:48
Speaker
The pants are going to fall down no matter what. But not for two hours, I guess. Well, they don't know when they fell down. They could have shown up with no pants to work. It it was it sounds like it was a very temper it was a temperate day. This was nightmare all along. Yeah, and then they woke up and they weren't wearing pants. I used to change for surgery.
00:40:10
Speaker
So my first rotation, in my internship was specialty surgery and it was a strict you change in your scrubs their policy, which is the most appropriate, but not always done in practice. um But I kind of latched on to that and have continued that for for my career.
00:40:24
Speaker
And so in the moment, boy, I used to work at the, you know, my, ah my desk was at the top of a stairwell that went down to the basement where CT and MRI and bathroom was. And instead of going all the way down one flight of stairs to change my pants, I would just like make sure the coast is clear, stand in the middle of the stairwell, drop trow, swap them out.
00:40:44
Speaker
And only one time did I get walked in on. So that was kind of, because I was changing into s scrubs for surgery, I'm going to consider that my wardrobe malfunction.
00:40:56
Speaker
That's fair. i've I've definitely changed into scrubs in an odd area, but I usually announce I'm going to change into scrubs. Nobody come in here. Have you ever had a mishap? I would holler on show like, hello?
00:41:08
Speaker
Nope. Okay, we're good. And then, oh, I have absolutely ripped um surgical gowns. ah You know, not not being given the, ah we'll say the most appropriate size, just kind of hulk my way out of it.
00:41:24
Speaker
That always feels good and bad.
00:41:30
Speaker
That's fair. i feel like I've done it with gloves more than gowns. I've ripped those suckers, pulling them on too hard. Ripped alike the thick the thick ring at the end. Yeah, yeah have the cuff. That's that's the word.
00:41:43
Speaker
And then you have to get new ones, I assume. Gotta get ones. Most of the time.
00:41:48
Speaker
Depends on how sterile the is. Yes. If I'm just doing doing like a dermal mass, I'm probably like, eh, it's my wrist. It'll be fine. If I'm doing abdominal surgery, though, 100%.
Closing and Listener Engagement
00:42:01
Speaker
Yeah. ah My line is if I was doing a rectal, then I don't need the cuff.
00:42:06
Speaker
Don't need it. That's fine. the Well, I think we did it I think we done did it. I think we spilled the kibble. Spiders waxing gauze. Oh my. Perfect.
00:42:19
Speaker
yeah perfect Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team.
00:42:34
Speaker
And a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share? Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story.
00:42:45
Speaker
Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.