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Ep.15: My Dog's Strange Addiction
39 Plays1 month ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet stories. In this episode we talk about daylight savings, the name of our metal band, and some other veterinary themed enterprises. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spillthekibble@gmail.com.
TW-vomit, feces, surgery
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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Transcript
Introduction and Invitation for Stories
00:00:01
Speaker
nor listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show.
Meet the Hosts and Daylight Savings Discussion
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Cal.
00:00:32
Speaker
I'm Dr. G, an hour early. And I'm Dr. M, an hour early also. And we're here to tell your clinic stories. But first, let's talk about daylight savings. I'm not tired. You're tired.
00:00:49
Speaker
No, I'm so eepy, though. You missing a consonant there? What's eepy? I'm just eepy, eepy, eepy girl. That's what I am. ah Oh, you're missing two consonants. Two consonants. Get it right or pay the price. No savings for you. If you can't tell, we definitely bank these episodes. We record way in advance. So right now it is daylight savings for us. But is it 50 weeks early or too, too late?
00:01:18
Speaker
We don't know. yeah you don't either. 20 blank teen. Yeah, exactly. you know what? Dealer's choice. Yeah. I'm not tired at all because i woke up whenever my body wanted to and it wasn't affected by the clock. The only thing was noticing on my microwave and stove and one wall clock that it was off. Okay, circadian rhythms over here. now Joy was, though, seeing sun at like 630 at night.
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. That that was pretty cool. That does make, i feel like, everybody a little bit happier. When you leave the office and it's dark, it's a little bit sad. When you leave and there's still a little bit of sun or even a sunset, watch out with a sunset.
00:01:57
Speaker
That's time for trivia. Cooking dinner. Going to the cinema. Who knows? Who knows? World's your oyster. Why would you go into the cinema if it's still sunny out? because I'm going those matinee showtimes.
00:02:09
Speaker
Wait, no, that doesn't make sense. It's still the same time I'd get there. It's just later out. Yep, no, I'm not going to the cinema. Never mind. What about if you go to the cinema in the early afternoon and when you come out, it's still sunny?
00:02:21
Speaker
Well, because I was at work. But that would be good if it was like a Monday matinee o and you weren't working. One of those movie passes where you get like, you know, $2 movies. I had that one.
00:02:34
Speaker
i had the AMC one for a couple of years when it first came out. It's way gone, but that was incredible. Yeah. I miss being in the college town and like there being the discount theater that had like the second release of the movie for cheap.
00:02:50
Speaker
And I used to go that all the time. And when Slater
Sleep Habits and Humorous Anecdotes
00:02:54
Speaker
had a bargain. Yeah, for sure. ah So it was a good it was a good day today.
00:03:00
Speaker
You had a good day today? Yeah. well because be Well, because, you know, it was brighter it was it was brighter or longer. and Yeah, i more vitamin D. Yeah, I do miss working different shifts and how it would affect you.
00:03:13
Speaker
I don't know. I was very sleepy. And then I got all my work done extra early and I thought that I would be able to take a little nip nap over the lunch hour, which I'm prone to doing when the weather is nice. But it was really bright out.
00:03:25
Speaker
No, I'm okay with the brightness. I had to get a cavity filled over my lunch hour. You didn't want to, you couldn't nap through it? I tried. Wait, so, ah humble
Dental Experiences and Gold Teeth Jokes
00:03:35
Speaker
brag, never had a cavity. It takes less than it takes less than an hour?
00:03:39
Speaker
I have two hour lunches, so it took approximately an hour and 20 minutes. but yeah It depends on how deep the cavity is. Yeah. You've never had a cavity?
00:03:50
Speaker
No, ma'am. Wow. Good on you. I got them soft British teeth. ola only Only a quarter of my teeth are soft. You got to guess the quadrant though.
00:04:01
Speaker
ah Which arcade are the softest teeth. I had to get all four of my like, you know, back molars crowned. um Is that a cavity too?
00:04:13
Speaker
Cavity two, electric boogaloo. That means that though that the cavities and those teeth are so deep that they're afraid you're going to get it's gonna go into the root, and so they gotta just cut your whole tooth out and cap it.
00:04:25
Speaker
Or, unless... Your molars just found out they were the long-lost princess of Genovia, and it's time for their coronation ceremony.
00:04:36
Speaker
which is what I like to pretend it is, so I feel good about myself. We have four new graduates. Oh, trust me. They looked nasty before, and then you throw some crowns on there, and they look gorgeous. Yeah. And my dentist 3D printed them in the office and like popped them in that day, so I didn't even have to come back. You can print out solid gold?
00:04:55
Speaker
Yeah, baby. Dang. Molten. no I have gold teeth. Yeah. You Look at them. You're right, I'm so sorry. I've never noticed before. They're shining. You should have your sister smile at you more.
00:05:08
Speaker
The listeners can't see, but I smiled and it just went. oh It did. And it says 24 carat right there in the front. So you're also celebrating the old Bruno Mars album. Okay.
Napping Tips and Personal Sleep Stories
00:05:21
Speaker
But no, I did not get to have a a daylight savings traditional um car nap, which is my favorite lunchtime activity other than eating, is listening to an audio book and lightly snoozing in the sunshine like a little kitty cat.
00:05:35
Speaker
What's the nap setup like in this, if you're comfortable sharing? I just ah go go recline my chair, kick my feet up on the dash, and I've got a pillow and some blankies in there at all times. Feet on the dash? Are you in the driver's seat?
00:05:50
Speaker
Yeah. Feet around the wheel on the dash. To the side. Leaned back. Crisscross applesauce. Okay. Yeah. And it's Audiobook. Eye mask.
00:06:02
Speaker
CPAP. No, not yet. we were I'm waiting for the next upgrade. no When they finally figured out how to make comfortable eye masks. Yeah. Yeah. yeah We have the genetic ability to sleep anywhere at any time. Also good at it.
00:06:17
Speaker
Yeah. it's It's a skill. A lot of things people are jealous about. Yeah. When you bench. What's your vertical leap? Where'd you get on the s SATs? How about this? I'll be asleep in three minutes.
00:06:29
Speaker
yeah hey Yeah, especially if you play some sweet, sweet audio in my ears and cover my eyes, I'm out. okay So you are using an eye mask. No, sometimes I just toss my coat or the other blanket over my head.
00:06:43
Speaker
That's supposed to be the nice thing about having all that hair. you can just you just put that on your eyes, huh? But we are approaching car nap season and if you haven't enjoyed a lunchtime car nap and you work in a safe area, I so i highly suggest it.
00:06:56
Speaker
Good prioritizing. Yes, yes. You know, if you finished all your work, you deserve a little treat. And my little treat is a couple of z's I think I always try to go 25 minutes and I call it a disco nap.
00:07:08
Speaker
because it's a little nap to refresh you to get ready to party. that's right. And that's a message from us to you. During this daylight savings time, may you have many a disco nap and nary a cavity.
00:07:21
Speaker
Party on. Party on, Wayne. Did you bring us a potential love match? Say yes, say yes, say yes. Coming out of the gate, we're hot for data to create it.
00:07:33
Speaker
Y'all ready? Dated or created. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A nice sting. We're working on it. Yeah. All right. You guys, ah y'all ready?
00:07:44
Speaker
Yep. I'm waiting with bated breath. I'm a professional lap warmer with a PhD into the tilt. I'm looking for someone who appreciates the finer things in life. Afternoon naps, the crinkle of a cheese wrapper, and a partner who will gaze into your eyes until you give in.
00:08:01
Speaker
I've been told I have a rugged face that only a mother or a very dedicated owner could love, but my personality is 100% leading man material. My ideal date is a 10-minute Zoomy session around the coffee table, followed by four hours of synchronized snoring on the couch. I'm not into hiking or long marathons, unless it's 12-episode Netflix binge.
00:08:25
Speaker
Swipe right if you don't mind a little. Okay, a lot of shedding on your favorite black sweater. And you think snoring is a soothing, ambient soundtrack. Date it or crate it. Love is blind style, I'm doing all the wrong things and I'm trying to think about what this critter looks like and I shouldn't. It should just be vibes and personality. It should not be looks, but I'm so curious.
00:08:48
Speaker
i would I would date that. You'd date it Mm-hmm. Dr. M? I'd also date it. I think I'm three for three on dating. Double date? Well, guess what? They were twins.
00:09:01
Speaker
Say hello to Butch and the Sundance Kid. A couple of Chinese pugs. I was not sure what it was going to be. I knew it was pug.
00:09:12
Speaker
You knew was a pug? I could just tell, and I was also like, hmm, that's my vibe. Yeah. I knew was squishy-faced. I thought I was going for a Brussels Griffon for a second.
00:09:23
Speaker
Oh, that's fancy. Okay. That's what I was thinking. i think there's a bit of overlap in these personalities and the yeah rugged face. The rugged face is what got me. Yeah. I'm learning for the first time that there's more than one pug. Because I said Chinese?
00:09:37
Speaker
Yeah. There's only one pug. Why is it why? Why does it have to be the qualifier of Chinese? Oh, hey, I'm right there with Why you got to be Chinese? Why you got to be bug? Because that's where it came from. And we're proud of it. OK. And I don't know of any other um Eskimo dogs, but we say American Eskimo.
00:09:59
Speaker
Rhodesian Ridgeback question? sure Sure, I know
Tortoise Adventure: Screws and Surgery
00:10:02
Speaker
not of another Ridgeback. ah But man, I would love... Well, this is a tough one. I would also date it. The only dog that I've ever truly owned and loved was a pug.
00:10:13
Speaker
Her name was Mocha. And I wouldn't get another one on purpose again. ah This was the decision a sixth grader was pushing my family towards.
00:10:24
Speaker
um um The way that I did convince them, my mother, who is... ah Very tidy person. I did convince her that they only shed twice a year. um Did not say that it lasted six months a clip.
00:10:37
Speaker
But it worked and we got it. And we all got used to wearing khaki for about 13, 14 years, I believe. That's really no different than my orange tabby shedding all over my black. Totally. honey I'm kind of used to it. and i'm Yeah. um And you just you do adapt to those things.
00:10:54
Speaker
But, you know, working in clinics and doing surgery and prophylactic airway surgeries like alloplasty, staphylectomies, ah there's something that feels a little a little wrong about asking for someone who needs surgeries to make life easier right out of the gate.
00:11:12
Speaker
Yeah. I cherish my time with Mocha the Pug and Butch, another one that I've lived with. I had a friend with a pug named Bagels, and I was like, that is the best pug name ever. Bagels? Bagels plural.
00:11:26
Speaker
Bagels the pug. Hadn't even considered that it gets even better if you double it. Yeah, does. Because it's just a bag of bagels. Wow. This is my dog Bagels. This is my dog Spaghetti's.
00:11:38
Speaker
Yeah, it's going to work for everything. Is the plural Moving on. So we've got stories or... on spaghetti o's spaghetti spaghetti spagheti spagheti spagheti spaghets who specga three reggaone sprigg itoo good do anyway yeah yeah stories yeah you know those things we do sometimes ok The daylight has been saved.
00:12:09
Speaker
The overnight crew is celebrating and that dusty clock in the OR is finally right again. you fix it? It's time to spill the kibble.
00:12:19
Speaker
a phy Rip that bag open, baby. Rip in Cal. Rip that bag open! Spill them gibbies! I have two stories. Start with the second one.
00:12:36
Speaker
Just to mix it up. Yeah. Okay. Unless they flow seamlessly the way you've already considered, but either way, I'm i'm ready. So this one this story was shared to me by umm one of my friends.
00:12:51
Speaker
Thanks, friend. Thank you, friend. Thank you, listener. no I think they just found them on the internet, but still. Yeah, it's okay. Thank you for curating these two for me. Okay, so the story begins.
00:13:02
Speaker
I read about a case involving a pet tortoise that managed to get himself into a pretty serious situation. The tortoise was about 17 years old when his owner noticed he had stopped eating and had vomited a couple of times, which is very unusual for tortoises.
00:13:19
Speaker
Concerned, they brought him to the vet to get checked out. We've got a teenage mutant ninja tortoise. What are your relationships with the tortoise family? ah I have had an African spur-thigh tortoise before. i Love that guy. What's up, Ulysses? um But now I spend very little time with them. I've dealt with a lot of outdoor you know nature's turtles, ah much less often tortoises.
00:13:48
Speaker
i've never I've never seen one vomit, though. Nor I. i wonder what that sounds like. want me to work on it? Slow, slower than a normal vomit, I feel. ah Just really like... Yeah, it's really tightly that. Just ramp it down 5%.
00:14:02
Speaker
five percent Take a retch and just move down the volume and slow it down a little bit. And ah Dr. M, have you dealt with a tortoise or a turtle or anything? yeah We had one in our high school science lab. So there was a pet tortoise in there, which was pretty fun. um first of all First, I was like, what? We never had that. And i was like, oh yeah, I'm sorry.
00:14:26
Speaker
we will we Okay. Besides also being sisters, we went to the same high school. and I realized that the science teacher I had was very, very old and he had retired. Yes. The young one brought a tortoise. Oh, the young, okay.
00:14:38
Speaker
Yeah, the replacement. um no that and i almost I almost adopted a turtle ah at my first job. It's a turtle, not a tortoise, but I was going to name him Captain Soggy Bottoms and I was really excited about it. That's a very good name.
00:14:54
Speaker
Yeah, I thought so. But no, not really. Was it meant to be? a dog and cat lady. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. So let's find out what happens to this tortoise.
00:15:05
Speaker
An X-ray revealed the problem. The tortoise had so had somehow swallowed six metal screws, which were now sitting in his digestive tract.
00:15:18
Speaker
The best guess was that he had knocked over a plant pot and accidentally eaten them while digging around in the soil. Where do you keep your screws? Yeah, that's okay. So mystery one solved. Mystery two blown wide open. why are there screws in the plant?
00:15:35
Speaker
Yeah. Very strange. And also sad. Also sad. Yeah. um Well, fool me. Okay, this is a tortoise. So fool me one, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Wait, no.
00:15:48
Speaker
how does the How does the normal version go? Because I have to come up with six of these. yes Oh my God, we don't have time for that. but i got Why is he so hungry that he's eating screws, you know? He's not a hippo. Give that boy a leaf or something. Maybe you the first time he missed and then heavy metal poisoning.
00:16:08
Speaker
Oh, or he's into heavy metal music and he wanted a cool look. You know what? Six metal screws could be a good band name. It could. Dang am, it is. And then it's just your your logo is a a tortoise with an x-ray and it's got the six screws in there on the skeleton. That's pretty dope.
00:16:27
Speaker
It's pretty dope. I'll get to Canva. Hey, no one take that. I'm on it. So, um...
00:16:36
Speaker
Okay, to continue the story, because I actually have a question for you after this next part. At first, the veterinary team tried to remove the screws using endoscopy, passing a small camera and tools down the throat to retrieve them.
00:16:51
Speaker
But by the time they attempted it, the screws had already traveled too far through the intestines to grab them that way. Bummer. That left only one real option, surgery. Sure.
00:17:02
Speaker
My question for you is, how do you think you perform surgery on a tortoise? Plastrotomy. Explain to those of us who've never seen or done it. Cut it open.
00:17:14
Speaker
you know From which side? ah The tummy side. Okay. Through the shell? Yeah. Well, ah guys. I don't if you did like a little side action. i don't know.
00:17:26
Speaker
ah You know what, I'm gonna actually correct. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I came out that confidently. Or is that one of those things where it's a quick chapter and you for forgot? I've almost certainly, it's it's barely a paragraph in a quick chapter, I'm sure. and Unless you're getting the book that's really digging into that. exotics, yeah. i believe Yeah, major kudos to people who do exotics and that's their passion. i give them so much credit because you really don't get a lot of firsthand training in school. like You have to really care and do the work and teach yourself and read the books. Don't look it up.
00:18:00
Speaker
More than anybody. Yeah. Yeah, wait, don't look it up. She's going to tell us. You're looking at stuff. typing Don't even look at my eyes. is it i now that i'm Now that I see my camera, I look like I'm doing like i'm doing South Park Wow back lane, and I think that's me on my keyboard.
00:18:20
Speaker
Okay, well, ah since you're such a... I didn't know do anything. Okay, good. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what they did now. Okay.
00:18:32
Speaker
The vets had to anesthetize the tortoise and carefully cut into his shell to reach his abdomen. There you During the three-hour procedure, they located the screws, which had moved into his colon, removed them, and then repaired the shell afterwards.
00:18:51
Speaker
Can a tortoise put bad screws? i don't know. Do you want to poop out screws? I don't. just, most of the time, if it gets to the colon, there's a good chance you can poop it out. I think that's dog and cat rules. I'm not sure about it for these other guys. I mean, I don't know how, I don't know what size these screws are. I mean, enough for him to swallow, but like, how We want to we went to school with some exotics people. but We should definitely hit them up and get some, some intel on this. You should make them listen to this episode and then have them follow up with us. yeah They're already listening. Then now we just need them to,
00:19:22
Speaker
dollar back tell us Tell us, please. You know who you are. Okay, so to finish up the story, thankfully the surgery was successful. The tortoise recovered and is now back home eating fresh greens again and doing well post-surgery.
00:19:38
Speaker
His owner said he was pretty gru grumpy at first about the daily antibiotic injections. But once his regular baths were reinstated, he started to become more active again and resumed his normal routine, hopefully with a slightly less adventurous appetite. Aw.
00:19:54
Speaker
You know, you hate you hate to see an ornery turd-turtis. Hang on, let me take that again. You hate to see ornery turd-turtis. That's one ornery tortoise route there. He's Doctor Who, is that your ornery tortoise?
00:20:12
Speaker
You hate to see a mad shell guy. I have a question. How do you know if a tortoise is being grumpy? Oh, it's a great question. Throw your brow. Avoiding eye contact, not engaging in conversations.
00:20:30
Speaker
you think it makes a noise? Probably. ah Probably hissier. more You're hearing more air movement. Do they hiss? yeah Oh, yeah. oh
00:20:43
Speaker
Okay, Grandpa. I can do better.
00:20:47
Speaker
I don't know if you your mouth can take it. It's not the mess. its very um Honestly, you may be tired, but I think we're getting delusional here.
00:21:00
Speaker
I've sa heard them all. It's real, real wheezy, guys. Really wheezy. Okay. So my kid's favorite animal is the giraffe. And I, one night, um my husband and i were like, what sound does a giraffe make?
00:21:14
Speaker
And we like looked it up and it's the most unsettling noise I've ever heard. It's like this deep blow, like moan, and they only do it at night. I think I could i could probably do it. i think If you feel up to it I'd love to hear
00:21:32
Speaker
No? Hey, closer? Closer? A little closer. you look sounded a little too goaty at the beginning. i have Yeah, the beginning had a little more of a bah. I have to lie. I was trying to do the yak sound from Ace Ventura to what nature calls.
00:21:44
Speaker
Also, I just saw they are auctioning off the rhino from Ace Ventura 2 when nature calls. Not a real rhino. The fake rhino suit that he crawls out the butt of. Are you going to place a bet? I already did.
00:21:56
Speaker
Okay. How where are you doing? ah Guys, I need to borrow $5,000. Okay.
00:22:03
Speaker
So long as it's for something cool. and Unrelated, unrelated. Well, I have a second story. Would you like to hear it? Yeah. Hiss if you want to hear the story.
00:22:19
Speaker
You sound like my dad when he laughs. Oh, is your dad Muttley from Wacky Racers? Yeah, how'd you know? ah Our dad laughs like Muttley.
00:22:36
Speaker
Yes. That's why I was dancing with Muttley at the wedding. my God, are you going to be okay? You need a cocktail? Guys, I've scared the cat.
00:22:47
Speaker
Aw, that'll happen. He scared all of us. Okay. This is the same person sent me this story too. Again, I think this is one they found, but great. I think they lived it.
00:22:58
Speaker
This person is not a vet, which, hey. Not anymore. Happy to get ah stories from people that are not vets. Bring it on. Anybody. Do you know an animal? You can also send us stories about you taking your dog or cat to the vet or animal to the vet. Whatever you want. Or even a home ah medical mishap can be fun. So just lay it on us, you know? what did What has your dog eaten? What did your cat get into? Tell us. we Tell us. What holidays were ruined by your animal?
00:23:28
Speaker
Yeah. Tell us about your bad holidays at Spill. S-P-I-L-L at spillthekibble.com. So the story begins.
Boxer Dog's Golf Ball Mystery
00:23:38
Speaker
A two-year-old boxer was brought to the vet after his owner noticed that he hadn't been acting like himself for a while.
00:23:45
Speaker
He'd gone off his food and had started losing weight and eventually began vomiting. At first, it didn't seem like anything too alarming. Dogs eat weird things all the time. But when the symptoms kept going, the owner decided to bring him in to get checked out.
00:23:58
Speaker
Good idea. So what are your first thoughts? Ate a tortoise. Aided tortoise full of screws. Tortoise in your throat? One tortoise, six metal screws.
00:24:11
Speaker
Or also maybe a sock or corn.
00:24:15
Speaker
Yeah, he can't you can't always think zebra. It's probably not a tortoise. Pancreatitis? That could be a fun one. Well, let's continue and find out.
00:24:27
Speaker
Please tell me. During the appointment, the vet learned that the dog spent a lot of time roaming around near a golf course. Oh, dear. And had a habit of picking up stray balls he found outside.
00:24:39
Speaker
The owner always assumed he just carried them around played with them. Then one day the dog vomited. And a golf ball came up. Nice. Even then, the owner figured it was just a one-off accident. Maybe he'd swallowed one while playing. This is like a deranged putt-putt level. You're going to wait for the boxer to puke up your ball before you can hit it into the hole. but Like the saddest putt putt. Just a sick boxer.
00:25:08
Speaker
If there was a vet med themed ah mini golf course, what would some other holes be? Oh my gosh. I mean, it would have to be anatomically correct. Okay. All right. Sure.
00:25:20
Speaker
Okay. Good. Good. Good. Don't be weird about it. I'm just, no, like, you're going to pull me out of the fantasy if it's not real. Okay, okay, okay. Pills. It's pills in a mouth. ah Pill pockets. It's... Ooh, you got to wrap your golf ball in a pill pocket. Uh-huh.
00:25:38
Speaker
And get it in the hole. need really smooth it out. the the The grown-ups putt-putts, you have a regular ball, but like the kids' ones has like a little pillow pocket cushion thing that goes around and helps them hit it a little better.
00:25:49
Speaker
like Charcoal pits. Mm-hmm. Ooh, one of them you have to like, you know, gotta get the kennel kids in there so like someone just kind of like pooper scooper the ball. ah Great choice. Get it into the pooper scooper and then the robo child heaves it into the next portion. Oh, that's good.
00:26:07
Speaker
You gotta think about the like the like, what's that one artist where it was like a series of wackadoodle things including like toast and string? Is it Goldman? You know what I mean, sure. Rube Goldberg? Yeah, that's right.
00:26:19
Speaker
You have to think in terms of that. That's very interesting that you described them as an artist. I haven't thought about it like that, but absolutely, it's a version of art. Yeah. Whimsy, even. You could put that in a frame, put that on your wall if you wanted to. Guys, I was going to go to sleep tonight, but now i'm going to watch like hours of Rube Goldberg videos. Yeah.
00:26:39
Speaker
ah Whatever, it's free time. It's free time. We have illustrations, right? Yeah. I think you have to chip it into the the Betsy collar, into the Elizabethan collar. Ooh, yeah. That's a good one.
00:26:52
Speaker
Honestly, this could be real good mini golf course. It's going to be hit with little girls, like first grade to fifth grade, too. No, no, no, no, no. What you do is you put it next to the vet clinic,
00:27:05
Speaker
So when parents have to like take their dog, they're like, okay, and then we'll go mini golfing with you, with the kid. go It's going to be a few hours. It's educational too, yeah. There's a voucher, you know? Yeah, like just send the kids off to play mini golf while the dog is getting looked at.
00:27:20
Speaker
Yeah. Honestly, put it behind a fence, you'll be fine. Guys, we're thinking about it. Don't steal that either. Okay. Well, we should go to the story. Hands off my band, hands off our golf course.
00:27:31
Speaker
So to continue back to the story, the owner um thought that the throwing up one golf ball was a one-off accident. But since the dog was still sick and continuing to lose weight, the veterinary team decided to take a closer look.
00:27:47
Speaker
They performed an endoscopy to see what might be going inside the stomach. That's when they found the real problem. Uh-oh. The dog's stomach wasn't holding just one golf ball. 32. Well, was only 18 holes. Do you want to decide how many golf balls was in this dog? I said 32. Price is right rules.
00:28:08
Speaker
Ugh. Now I kind of regret it, but I'm going to stand by it. Do we have a breed? Weight? Boxer. Okay. You said that already? Two-year-old boxer. Okay. Um...
00:28:18
Speaker
I made it easy for you by picking 32. I feel like you can very easily pick number. That's not your real answer. I think he's now campaigning against himself. Like golf. I mean, if it's Bryce's right rule, so one. But that's not fall-in.
00:28:32
Speaker
Yeah, okay, fine. I'll think about it. But I was never good at that, like, jelly bean in a jar situation. Like, you're like, that's what this is. That's exactly what I'm doing. Well, I know that's what you're doing. I was never good at it. Now to one, now you're playing against yourself. But instead of jelly beans in a jar, it's golf balls in a boxer. Yeah. yeah Golf balls in a gastric.
00:28:53
Speaker
All right. Dr. M is holding up both of her hands, trying to simulate the rough approximation of a two-year-old boxer's stomach. That's very good. Silence while she continues her current calculations. I'm going to guess 14 then.
00:29:07
Speaker
She's saying a bad answer, but we're gonna let her go ahead with it. don't know. One of us does. And their name is Cal. I do. What's your guess then? Are he saying one one? All right. Because it's Price Right rules. It's Price is Right rules. One or four. Oh, it's not. I'm gonna be whoever's closest. Seven.
00:29:27
Speaker
I'll say eight then. Oh, come on. just So we picked 14 and seven. Yeah. Okay. So the dog's stomach wasn't just holding one ball. It was packed with them because his stomach was so full. The team had to move quickly and take him into surgery to remove the blockage. During the two-hour operation, they opened the stomach and began pulling them out one by one. By the time they were finished, they had removed 16 golf balls, each about four centimeters wide.
00:30:03
Speaker
Listen, 32 was silly, but 14 was pretty good. Yeah. And the other one, I guess, was 18, I think. Or maybe I just thought it. That's egregious. Uh-huh. The boxer has a problem.
00:30:16
Speaker
Also, I know you didn't write this story. Why are they telling us the diameter of a golf ball? I think it's universal. Well, maybe people don't know what the size of golf ball is.
00:30:27
Speaker
Or they were thinking it was the kid-friendly bumper ones that have the ah pocket around them. I'm showing my privilege by assuming everyone knows how big a golf ball is. Well, just so you guys know, it's um half the length of my middle finger. So you got it now, right?
00:30:44
Speaker
There you go. Got it. yeah Got it. Maybe they think like, oh, if is it a woman's golf ball or a men's golf ball? Oh, wait, they're the same. It's not like baseball and soccer. Oh, one of them's pink. Reg on your face, listener. Do you think they were different size balls?
00:31:00
Speaker
Why it got to be a golf ball?
00:31:04
Speaker
No, one of the, it was it pink golf balls that said for her on them or was it just regular old balls? ah Listen, blue balls. Blue balls are bust, okay? Yeah.
00:31:18
Speaker
i will I will play with any color golf ball. It don't matter to me. I'm picking green if I have my choice. teen They'll sell those boxes with just like random golf balls that are like just like found on the golf course.
00:31:32
Speaker
They'll just like repackage them and sell them. I don't. That sounds fun though. Yeah. Again, check your privilege. Are you a golfer? Matching balls.
00:31:42
Speaker
Am I a golfer? Yes. Really? yes Putt-putt or um real go you're doing the big one? No, I played in high school. oh I started in middle school. I played all through high school. I was on varsity. you goofy or um a standard?
00:31:59
Speaker
Standard. Yeah? I'm honestly pretty good. um Before my dad retired, I could beat him pretty easily, but now he's much better than me because he plays every day. Laughing all the way to the green, huh?
00:32:10
Speaker
All the way. yeah Meanwhile...
00:32:15
Speaker
Oh my god, dad, are you here? Swish! Meanwhile, I had a golf tutor and went to golf camp and I couldn't do it. Wow. Private golf tutor.
00:32:26
Speaker
Look at y'all. Okay, well, i there's only a little bit left of the story. We'll finish this up. According to the Surgwin, removing foreign objects from a dog's stomach is fairly routine, but finding that many golf balls in a single patient was definitely unusual.
00:32:45
Speaker
Fortunately, the surgery was successful, and once the golf balls were removed, the dog recovered well and was able to go home. Wow. And hopefully not go into the golf course again.
00:32:56
Speaker
What to live a little menace. That's so many balls. a lot of balls. How many golf balls do you think you could swallow? um More than 16? About 16?
00:33:08
Speaker
about Without someone knowing or until i die? don't know. Could we swallow golf balls? I feel like they might get stuck. Yeah. Are dogs' throats really that much bigger?
00:33:19
Speaker
It depends how big the dog is. It's a boxer. I think I could hang with a boxer. It makes me think of those toilet commercials where they can a flush like 17 golf balls.
00:33:32
Speaker
I forgot about those. I don't know what the record is for those toilets, but it's gotten made similar. you You just needed like, you know, Drano. sure Yeah, absolutely. Drano and those balls would have come around. Just actually flush the boxer and probably the ball problem will go away.
00:33:54
Speaker
That'll fix it. It'll also probably get rid of the screws and the tortoise too. Probably.
Strange Pet Addictions and Conclusion
00:33:59
Speaker
I think I could eat seven, but I'd die. think you'd die from seven golf balls. Yeah, because because six would fit in good. It'd be three by three. No, well, three by two.
00:34:10
Speaker
And then the last one would get stuck and I'd die. fair Let's not do it then. Yeah. Yeah. So I should stop. this Put down the golf ball. I've got all this Vaseline Parmesan cheese and golf balls. I bought a whole i bought a whole bucket of them used on you need to go to Golf Balls Anonymous.
00:34:31
Speaker
but You and the Spock, sir. We care about you. The only thing for GBA is Game Boy Advance. Thank you an intervention.
00:34:41
Speaker
ah that would be That would be an embarrassing intervention for me. I have to pick up something harder so that we can be better. Have you not watched My Strange Addiction?
00:34:54
Speaker
My Strange Addiction. That's exactly what I was thinking about. I've seen some of the highlights. I just, for me, i I'm dreaming higher than golf ball ingestion. was on inest My Strange Addiction saying they were eating golf balls, I'd be like, that tracks.
00:35:09
Speaker
that's This one makes sense. But I bet they'd be chewing it. Oh. Yeah, they'd be chipping off pieces. Their teeth would be a hot mess. Their teeth would hot mess.
00:35:21
Speaker
It's like that girl that only snorts her food. If we had the dog version of My Strange Addiction, I think every single person's dog would have an episode. It would never end. It would be a forever show.
00:35:33
Speaker
We should probably make, and they mean, they made like hoarders pets, but we could probably make My Strange Addiction pets. Don't take that either, you guys. We're serious.
00:35:44
Speaker
If this podcast doesn't work out, we got to have stuff that we can fall back on. how Can you print off the the transcription of this and then mail it to ourselves so the whole thing's trademarked? Once we post it online, it's trademarked. That's us. um yeah That's us Good luck listening to it before we post it. Yeah.
00:36:03
Speaker
But like, don't you agree that everyone's pet has a strange addiction? Maybe. There's some boring pets. off I had this cockatiel that was so vanilla. You didn't do nothing. Holi just ate seeds and napped like all the time. See, here's the thing. I know that that's a good thing, but there but that would really offend people.
00:36:28
Speaker
You're like, and your dog is super boring, and that's great news. Your dog is not special. I feel like strange addiction level strangeness might be a little too much, but you know that like thing where everybody has like a trait where if they turned out to be a serial killer, you're like, I knew it because they did X, Y, and Z, and that was so weird.
00:36:47
Speaker
feel like there's at least that. so For animals? Sure. More of a quirk that, like, in hindsight, should have cleaved you into some sinister behavior. It could be another tlc show, like, there's a killer in my house, and it's just your pets. Yeah.
00:37:01
Speaker
So is eating 17 golf balls indicative of a propensity to murder? 16. Well, we don't know. and There could be another boxer with the world record. Wasn't talking about your dog.
00:37:12
Speaker
Wait, wait. He threw up one. So it could have been 17 total. I stand corrected. I didn't even realize I did the right math. ah No, no, no. it did That does not indicate them being a serial killer animal. It just, if they happen to be, somebody in the documentary would be like, I thought it was weird when they ate 17 golf balls.
00:37:36
Speaker
We should have known then. It should have clicked. As long as we don't talk about a dog lighting up a room. With their dazzling smile and energy.
00:37:47
Speaker
would give Would give someone the shirt off their back. Then we know they're not the victim, at least. That's fair. if We just spilled the kibble. This has been Six Metal Screws. Check out our debut album on Bandcamp and SoundCloud.
00:38:04
Speaker
Love it. Oh, no. not night Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only.
00:38:15
Speaker
Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team. And a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share?
00:38:25
Speaker
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