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Ep.8: We Cheese to Please
32 Plays14 days ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet stories. In this episode we talk about Dr. G's rude boy era, most popular pet names, and mystery orange powders. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spillthekibble@gmail.com.
TW-feces, animal surgery, eating dog food
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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Transcript
Introduction and Submission Invitation
00:00:01
Speaker
You're listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show.
Meet the Hosts and Discussing Well-being
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel.
00:00:31
Speaker
I'm Dr. G. And I'm Dr. M. And we're here to tell your clinic stories. But first, how are you both doing? I'm great.
00:00:43
Speaker
And I'm a little under the weather. That's okay. Tis the season. And you? Yes. How are you, Kel? Oh, I'm fine. ah Life is crazy, but it's the holidays coming up. So tis the season for sick.
Podcast Tone and Humor Segments
00:00:56
Speaker
Pretty much sick and sick of this shit. Oh, no. Oh, we don't want to be explicit. that Literally us every episode. It's fine.
00:01:07
Speaker
Wait, have I not been allowed to curse? I haven't been keeping curses in. you believe You bleeped the curses? i haven't even noticed. have just been cutting them. We talk so much about poop that I just assumed curses were don't think it's a curse. It's not a curse. Everybody does it. You cut a cuss or you cut a whole sentence with one in it?
00:01:27
Speaker
Just a cuss. hu Pay attention. Interesting. I think I would let it happen if it was... for good reason, but like what we're talking about, I already said it's not appropriate for everybody, but it's not. You did.
00:01:43
Speaker
Explicit. say like my whole My whole deal is that I'm kind of a rude boy. and I don't know if i don't know who if the audience is gonna get that. if you're boy i'm I'm a genuine rude boy. I'm sorry, you thought that was your reputation this entire time for the length of our friendship.
00:01:59
Speaker
Well, not the whole friendship. At the beginning, I was i was nice. Then I let my guard down, like Coach like coach Cooper. Somewhere in the last 14 years, you became a rude boy. Listen, Dr. M, the honeymoon's over. the the The drawers have been stocked. The needles are in the trash.
00:02:19
Speaker
Oh my goodness, you're a menace to society. It's time for me to be the rude boy I am It's time for, and now your rude boy segment, go. so So F this and snarf that.
00:02:31
Speaker
Ding dong, dilly-whackers. You cotton-headed nitty-muggins.
00:02:39
Speaker
This has been the Rude Boy segment.
Popular Dog Names and Humorous Pet Stories
00:02:43
Speaker
Dr. M and I took my kid to go see Dog Man. Oh, we did. Like forever ago. And they have this part where they're like, flippy-ki-yay, flippy-flipper. And my kid will say it all the time. And I'm like, could be worse. She could be saying worse things. It's kind fun to say.
00:03:00
Speaker
Is that better or worse than the original yippee-ki-yay? Flippy-flipper. Flippy-flipper. Yeah. Flippy-ki-yay, flippy-flipper. So where can I watch Dogman? Because this sounds, now it's sounding kind of good.
00:03:13
Speaker
It honestly was good. It was good. Okay. Pete Davidson voiced Pete the Cat, and it was pretty delightful. I'm not going to lie. Wait, Pete the Cat's... No, not Pete the Cat. I lied to you. But his name was... I think it's Petey.
00:03:29
Speaker
Well, Petey the Phelan. Well, there's Petey and then I think there's little Petey in this movie. Pete the Cat's a different guy. This is Petey the Cat, and don't know which game first. With zero checking to make sure they're real, i love my white shoes. i love my white shoes. And there's four groovy buttons.
00:03:47
Speaker
I'm mostly groovy buttons. Oh, are you thinking Pete the Cat like the book? Yes. Yeah, I read a lot of Pete the Cat. And is that a role fit for Peter Davidson? No. No.
00:03:57
Speaker
P is the enemy of Dogman. What is that? I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, Dr. M is holding up a tiny baby hand.
00:04:09
Speaker
It's just a little wooden hand I keep on my desk. It's it's giving strong hand energy. Yeah. ah Take my strong hand.
00:04:21
Speaker
I'll tuck it into my sleeve. um so You're sick, you got holiday stress, I'm doing great. I am a, I'm an uncle, part two, as of last week. Thank you, i did nothing. What day? A week ago.
00:04:38
Speaker
Oh, really? oh Yeah. oh and we could go Big shout out to little Oliver James. It's very exciting. then we were talking about baby names in the picking process. And it sounds like potentially that one's had an uptick in popularity, which reminded me of a very compelling segment on the National Dog Show on Thanksgiving.
00:04:59
Speaker
Okay. Please tell. we Where our favorite graphics guy, Steve Kornacki, went over the most popular dog names in America. Give us the rundown drilling. I didn't watch this year, so I definitely need to know.
00:05:13
Speaker
i have an infographic. I don't have it listed out, but it's very overwhelmingly one name with a not so close second. Can you guess the number one dog name in America? And would you like any hints?
00:05:29
Speaker
Yes, I want a hint. Well, let's guess first. Okay. Is it Bella? Yes.
00:05:40
Speaker
I, for the record, I was also going to guess Bella. My question was going to be, is it a boy or a girl name? And if you said girl, I'd say Bella. Wow. Absolute slam dunk. What would have been the boy name? Max.
00:05:52
Speaker
If I was better geography, I would tell you the one state that belongs to Max. It's right in the middle. Right in the middle. ah Right in the middle of the country. is that the Somebody in Iowa? I don't have the strength to pull up a map.
00:06:07
Speaker
Surely it can't be doesn't feel very Iowa. um Well, hang on. i but Yeah, Bella was ah even popular 2008.
00:06:18
Speaker
It's been popular name for a minute. Thanks, Stephanie Meyer. Yeah, kind of, right? But even before that. But you also got to think, like, that kind of spans multiple languages, too. Okay, I got it. It's Nebraska. Sure, absolutely. And it makes sense. It's a gorgeous name. means beautiful. yeah What do you think the, did I say Nebraska? Yeah. What do you think the second second most popular name?
00:06:47
Speaker
Dr. M can guess this time. Bella. Yeah, you took the good one. Don't touch those stats. You're batting a thousand. I know. ah Is it a boy or girl's name?
00:06:58
Speaker
I would say classically a girl name. Rosie. It is not that. ah have a lot of Rosies. we you We should give us a hint.
00:07:11
Speaker
More dog than human. Much more dog than human. Baby, Candy, Sweetie, Mama. are These are all cat names. Yeah, they are. yeah Names and and and small breed dog names. Yeah. um this um This is more of a, this go be this would be a bigger dog's name.
00:07:31
Speaker
Callie, Maisie. The winner of the 2025 National Dog Show was a dog named Soleil. Oh.
00:07:40
Speaker
That's exciting. Oh, Luna? Yeah, it is. Yep. Luna. Fair enough. I sure know. Whenever I think of Luna, I think of Sailor Moon's cat.
00:07:52
Speaker
Sailor Moon. Luna. Okay. So, yeah. um Got thinking about that, and it was whole i just I had an absolute blast. A lot of love to all the Bellas of the world.
00:08:03
Speaker
i thought it was hilarious to see this this infographic that was just covered in the word Bella. And and you were then you were very much like, yep, that tracks. Yeah, it does. I wasn't surprised.
00:08:15
Speaker
It's a classic, classic name. It is a classic name. Well, actually, that kind of segues into our stories because I have a story. Ooh, classic. So. Fall moon.
00:08:31
Speaker
We begin. the flap has been made. The roots have been split. Dzzzzzz. And the vibes have been elevated.
00:08:42
Speaker
hey It's time to spill the kibble. Heck yeah. um We have a story from the Bark Web. We really need listener stories. We do need listener stories.
00:08:55
Speaker
Please. Please email you've been thinking of submitting one and you're nervous, don't be nervous.
Listener Interaction and Veterinary Stories
00:09:00
Speaker
Just send us a little notey note. It can be even a short story. it doesn't have to be like a huge, long thing. We're just excited to hear from you guys specifically. We love the Bark Web, but hearing from our listeners is is way more exciting. so That's right. um Anything you can. Just one story a day you know can really change the lives and hearts. In the arms of the angels. Listen, there's a Luna and a Bella out there that needs their story told.
00:09:29
Speaker
You can be that storyteller. Email us. yeah Spill, S-P-I-L-L, at spillthekibble.com. And let us share your Bella and Luna stories.
00:09:42
Speaker
Today. Today. Thank you. Thank you Thank you today. thanky to die Perfect.
00:09:54
Speaker
um Yeah. So like I said, this story i think is a classic. I think we've maybe all heard this story before. but you know, if you don't work in Batman, you might not have heard this story before.
00:10:08
Speaker
yeah that's true. And we got covered with classics. I don't know if I've heard this story before. I don't know. I guess we'll see. The story begins. A dog came in with all the classic red signs for an intestinal obstruction. Hmm.
00:10:25
Speaker
He hadn't pooped in a couple of days, completely lethargic, refusing food and vomiting anything he tried to keep down. On exam, his belly was tense in that way that makes every vet quietly go, oh no. Oh no. no What you eat, baby?
00:10:43
Speaker
Is this a common feeling you have with this kind of a... That's ah like a picture perfect collection of symptoms for sure. Close my eyes, I'm there.
00:10:54
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, the story goes on. We started with the usual workup. Blood work, fluids, a gentle poke and prod to see if anything felt obviously wrong.
00:11:06
Speaker
Nothing screamed, this is the culprit, but everything whispered, something is definitely not right. So we moved on to x-rays, and sure enough, there it was.
00:11:17
Speaker
What do you think they saw on the x-ray? Oh, jeez. It's classic. Underwear. Corncob. Ooh, corncob is a one. to your Okay, no, more creative. or We're asking too many questions. Well, I'm not telling you the answer yet.
00:11:33
Speaker
Okay. Bella. Sock. ah We had a tampon story not too terribly long ago, but you can't rule it out. Tampon.
00:11:44
Speaker
Rock. It's a little dog's leader rock. Little ding-dong. Squeaker. Battery. Mm-hmm. Action figure.
00:11:55
Speaker
Tennis ball. i One time saw an entire box of Q-tips get swallowed whole and we took them out from the stomach and it still looked like they were in all stacked, like they came straight out of the box.
00:12:08
Speaker
Now I do have a box into his mouth. it was just like, just like a brick of still interlocked. but Not loose, just something inspirative to go. Those are for me.
00:12:20
Speaker
it was still, like when I'm thinking of cotton-tipped applicators, i am I'm a Q-tip girly, obviously. Got it, course. And it's the one of these rectangular sides is cardboard and the other three are molded plastic.
00:12:34
Speaker
Yes. All of that was in there? No cardboard, no plastic, just the Q-tips, but in the shape of. home As if his stomach were the box.
00:12:45
Speaker
ah He just Scooby Doo, like a sandwich Scooby Doo style. Nary a Q-tip crisscrossed. They were all just aligned internally. Shuffling his Italian meats like a deck of cards and then just twofering it one bite. Okay. His stomach was like, well, let's keep them in order at least. Yeah. yeah You know, type A, Virgo.
00:13:10
Speaker
but
00:13:14
Speaker
I think i need I need to learn astrology so these jokes make more sense to me. I get what you're saying, but i but you can be lying. i only know a few, if it makes you feel any better. I only know the few of the people that are closest to me in my life.
00:13:28
Speaker
Okay. That does help. Thank you. Yeah. You're welcome. Well, to continue on, a distinct, stubborn-looking something was lodged right where it shouldn't be.
00:13:39
Speaker
Not gas, not food, not something that would pass. This was a get the surgery pack kind of something. Fabric of the pylorus? Do you feel like that's common where you're like, there's an obstruction, but we got to get in there to see what it is?
00:13:54
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Unless it's like metallic um or like a really obvious, like hard edge, hard substance. Yeah, it's pretty hard. Like any any sort of fabric or anything that's a little bit squishy. It just kind of looks like shapes. Yeah.
00:14:10
Speaker
Now, hearing that, does that change your guess? Corded headphones. Well, they said they couldn't tell what it was, right? Or they could. Yeah, but now you know that you couldn't tell what it was. Oh, not corded. had Definitely not corded headphones. Nothing with metallic wires. Definitely not that. Okay. ah Fabric. Fabric of some sort, for sure, i feel. Yeah, that takes corncob lower on the list then. Well, let's go on and find out what it was. Okay.
00:14:36
Speaker
Into surgery he went, and after a bit of careful navigating through the irritated intestines, we found it. A lacy thong. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I didn't get Bella, but I did get that underwear. i'm not a But not a lacy thong.
00:14:51
Speaker
It was black, delicate, dramatically out of place in the GI tract of el Labrador beaks.
00:15:01
Speaker
Now, it's standard practice mostly for clarity, but also for the sheer educational impact to present the offending foreign object to the owners. Oh, no. Usually in a little plastic bag, like a strange, extremely gross lost and found item.
00:15:17
Speaker
That's true. So when mom and dad came to pick up their beloved, expensive, and apparently fashion-forward dog, we dutifully showed them the cause of all the chaos. Oh, no.
00:15:30
Speaker
Mom took one look and said, those aren't mine. i don't wear delicate black lacy thongs. I'm a granny panties only girl, and this is an atrocity for me. Those are my husband's. but
00:15:45
Speaker
You are correct, Dr. M. Those aren't mine. And then she turned to dad with the kind of slow withering glare that could peel paint off drywall. The dog, for the record, made a full recovery. Dad, uncertain. Dad did not.
00:16:01
Speaker
ahpo You know what? that That is a classic. Go ahead. i feel like I might have even asked you, Dr. M, because I was like, I feel like this sounds like an urban legend.
00:16:15
Speaker
But it's not. But then I was like, but is this just more common than I think it is? Because I've heard of this happening before on my own when I worked at a vet clinic. So, yeah, I think it's a more common. I luckily I have not had to break that news to anybody. I have not had to um find somebody else's underwear on a GI Explorer, but I know it happens for sure.
00:16:40
Speaker
I'm going to put out the challenge like a six degree situation. If you have not experienced this, please ask someone in your clinic if
Pets in Divorces and Movie Comparisons
00:16:47
Speaker
they have. If they haven't, you get up to six tries.
00:16:51
Speaker
Yeah. I think you're going to find someone who's been in the building when this has happened before. Almost anywhere you work. Yeah. Which is crazy. It is crazy. i mean. It's like the Kevin Bacon, Lacey Thong.
00:17:03
Speaker
Men, do better, guys. Please. They could have been his. That would have made its way into the story. i don't Whatever happens in between their them and their marriage counselor when they leave the vet's office. If anything, i would i like I don't know about you, but I've had a few clients go through messy divorces and they'll get on the horn and they'll tell you every detail. and i was just going to ask, do you think anyone has like flat been divorced at a clinic before?
00:17:33
Speaker
Like, sign the papers. They asked to be there. this Oh, they got served there? Yeah. One time I did surgery, and I pulled out divorce papers from the stuck stomach.
00:17:44
Speaker
And then the wife was like, those are mine, thanks. And she signed it right there. and then Now, but those are mine. That's kind of a mythic move. Like, the underwear wasn't mine, but those are. Yeah, I mean, a lot of times, especially if you, like, are already part of it, I feel like they'll come back and be like, well, it's just me and the dog. Now take his name off the record. You're like, oh, shit.
00:18:05
Speaker
take their name off the record yep yeah yeah ye that'll happen you're still loved they ended up with one of the two yeah absolutely ah when i split from somebody there was a two cat situation and it was definitely like a parent trap where one took one cat and one took the other but they never went to summer camp and met each other again ah But they both continue to live very happy, loving lives. But yeah, that's pretty funny.
00:18:36
Speaker
You could have sent them to summer camp. I know. should have done that. know. And they could have switched places. Some peanut butter and Oreo. Yeah. They're both orange. So you could have. These cats have the first five minutes of the parent trip.
00:18:53
Speaker
It was like the one ah the one cat leaving in a car and then it was just like end credits. They didn't get threatened by you know dad's new girlfriend to be sent to to boarding school. They didn't get their ears pierced or try Oreos and peanut butter. You know yeah you don't get the sweet without the sour.
00:19:12
Speaker
No fencing scene. It's okay. You're thinking about the Lindsay Lohan one. I am. Obviously, you're thinking about the Lindsay Lohan one. I was thinking of OG one. Yeah. They're so old, we don't even know their names. Julie Andrews? Huey Mills?
00:19:25
Speaker
i don't know. Lindsay Lohan all day. That's what I say. if you just reference Lindsay Lohan, then you definitely know the actress's name. Both of them. I think the Lindsay Lohan one better because I like when they go to Napa and the house is so pretty. Well, Lindsay Lohan, but Hayley Mills was, she was the original parent trap girl.
00:19:46
Speaker
I was the original parent trap girl. I have another story. Yes, please. I would like to hear
Bird Health Mysteries and Pet Behavior
00:19:52
Speaker
that story. This is from a different person. Ruff Ruff. Here is a little gem from the I should have known better files.
00:20:01
Speaker
you This happened with one of my own animals, which is probably why my brain immediately abandoned all rational thought. I can handle other people's pets just fine, but put me in front of my own little flock and suddenly I lose.
00:20:15
Speaker
Sorry, I lose every ounce of objectivity I've ever had. That is so mean. Is that something that happens to you? full panic mode like somebody else has to do it. Sometimes I even get nervous about like doing my own anesthetic procedures on my own pets even if it's like a routine dental cleaning. I'm like, maybe somebody else should do it.
00:20:37
Speaker
Because then if something happens, like I'll be sad regardless, but I won't beat myself bloody thinking I did something wrong to my own child. You know, I'll never be more mad at anyone other than this. oh And I don't know what I need to talk about my therapist with, but that's probably on the docket. then I don't you're definitely not alone. I know.
00:21:00
Speaker
A lot of folks are. Some people can be very, very casual, but I think on the whole, more folks are a little bit less inclined to work on their own pets. Yeah. i worked at but who was I know. I worked with a vet who was like, well, I trust myself more than anybody else. And I said, wow, that sounds great.
00:21:15
Speaker
That's a good point. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you. i don't. our Our surgeon friend, Dr. G, is like that, which is good. That is good. Yeah. If I ever needed something really tricky, I would just fly and figure it out.
00:21:28
Speaker
Okay, so the story continues. One day I got home and noticed that one of my African greys, Chubbs. That's a parrot. Yeah.
00:21:40
Speaker
Had bright neon orange feet. And instead of thinking anything sensible, my mind went straight to, well, that's it. He's dying. lets See, I just assumed like Red 40 got into some like nacho cheese Doritos. Dancing and poop.
00:21:57
Speaker
dancing in poop. I mean, what is your relationship with veterinary medicine and birds? I mean, like, I feel like it's not something you do now, but was it something you've done?
00:22:08
Speaker
she more than me. Yeah, my first my first animal job was at a pretty hardcore pet store locally. And I worked a lot with birds there, but I was still pretty allergic to them back then. I think I've mostly grown out of it since then. And then from that point on, I did a lot with wildlife in school.
00:22:26
Speaker
um But since then, i have had few and far between less than less than 10 bird patients in 10 years. They should go somewhere else with someone who does that more often. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:36
Speaker
I don't know. I would also assume that maybe this is the worst case scenario because I don't remember a single thing I studied for the NAVALI, the National Board's exam about birds. It's all gone. I didn't use it and it's out. Yeah. You know how on the board, to like they did, i don't know, let's say 25 not yet real questions kind of like to sample how are people going to do?
00:22:57
Speaker
Yeah. i don't know if it was for you, but like there were 25 parrot questions on mine. And I thought this has to be a joke. I had so many parrot and so many goat, specifically goat. And I was like, don't know, man. Oh, you got a parrot goat, too. You got a parrot goat. You got a parrot goat.
00:23:21
Speaker
It was miserable. But yeah, seven hours, by the way, seven hour lung tests. Spoiler, we both passed. We did. So the story goes on Then I started noticing other things. Was he breathing a little harder? Had he eaten less today?
00:23:38
Speaker
Was he suddenly perched at a slightly different angle that obviously signaled impending doom? In about 30 seconds, I had convinced myself he needed to see his avian vet immediately, like right now.
00:23:50
Speaker
Or possibly faster. see That's not possible. e What if it could be though, like being fast? ah They go on. By this point, I'm practically in panic, imagining every terrible diagnosis at once. And then the truth came out.
00:24:07
Speaker
Chubbs did not have a serious disease. What do you think it was? Dancing in his poopy. Everybody is here the or someone in zoning someone else in the house um was trying to get creative and had him um painting. Or you step and paint and then you step on paper.
00:24:26
Speaker
He was auditioning to be an Oompa Loompa in the Timothee Chalamet reboot of Willy Wonka. He was auditioning for a Blue Man Group, but is colorblind. Well, Dr. M, you were right at the beginning. He had Cheeto feet.
00:24:40
Speaker
ah Stop. You know what? I only thought of that because they're going to take it out. Wait, did she? I thought you said green. i said neon orange.
00:24:52
Speaker
Orange. I think that's twice now. I think I realized I've colorblind on the pod. Oh, no, you disappeared for a second. We thought you got so upset about not knowing what color she said that you just laughed. Listen, there's three colors, red, white and blue. OK, but and I believe them all. and i And I and then green because I thought you said green.
00:25:13
Speaker
Beyond orange. Well, that changes everything. Yeah, I would have said Takis.
00:25:20
Speaker
Fair. oh The story continues. My brother had given him a couple of Cheetos, apparently with great enthusiasm, and the resulting snack dust turned his feet into traffic cones.
00:25:32
Speaker
Those flavor crystals gotta do something with their airway. They're so fragile. ah yeah African gray, beautiful bird, though. They are beautiful birds.
00:25:43
Speaker
Little dinosaurs, I would say. Certainly. Little dinosaur living in your house, eating Cheetos. Clever little Cheeto eating dinosaurs. Do you think it was the puffy kind or the crunchy kind? And what does it say about the bird if he has a preference?
00:25:58
Speaker
it's about Well, I think this bird can present crunchy or puffy, whatever he wants. Yeah. um But I think they, if we're talking about getting the most cheese on your talons, I'm thinking puffy.
00:26:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. I mean, they're bigger. grow His name is Chubbs. I'm imagining the sounds of this and Beacon Cheeto is... I think it sounds kind of fun. That's ASMR fodder, yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker
Yeah, it is I feel like when you eat the Cheeto puffs, it's like kind of like styrofoam. Totally. Yeah, I can see that being enjoyable for a parrot. Y'all puffy your crunchy.
00:26:38
Speaker
Crunchy girl. Crunchy girl? I don't really like artificial cheese. Also fair. So I would scoop out on either. I like all cheese. Real, fake? i don't care. Snack food in my head, I would say crunchy. But yeah, the Cheezo snacks are not at the top of my list.
00:26:57
Speaker
No, I'd rather have pretzels or something. There. Cheesy pretzels. he Oh, have you ever had those like pretzels with the peanut butter in the middle?
00:27:09
Speaker
Oh, well pillow pockets? Oh yeah. They're delicious. Chocolate block full of protein. Did you say pillow pockets? yeah I've, you ever had a pillow pocket?
00:27:21
Speaker
No. I haven't had a whole one. I've tried it though. Is it The one for animals. Yeah, they're so greasy. Yeah, they feel greasy. I don't try. i think I've nibbled on some fruit and vegetable based treats. I stay away from any protein based treat. I don't know why. It just ekes me out. I don't like the smell.
00:27:40
Speaker
Look out for your factor. Dr. M's coming for you. I don't know. I'm like, I could do I've tried most. Not cat. I've tried most prescription dog foods. a little so Just a little, just a tiny bit.
00:27:52
Speaker
I think you're very brave. You're very brave to even put this out into the ether, honestly. Oh yeah, we need to cut all this.
00:28:04
Speaker
I have a reputation. i have a reputation been scraping kibble off the top for years. No, it was all the stuff we were about to throw out. Don't worry. Yeah, sure, sure. sure Yeah.
00:28:16
Speaker
You know, look, if there's if the there's a glove on top of the can in the fridge and someone tried to use a Bic pen on a moist paper label, is but that tells me someone cared enough and it's safe to eat.
00:28:33
Speaker
Yeah, valid. ah The story finishes. Oh, thank I know. Help me. Get me out of here. 17 years later, everyone still brings up brings it up and laughs themselves sick while I stand there remembering the time I nearly rushed an emergency case for artificial cheese residue to a specialist. Better safe than sorry. That's a lesson that we can't say enough here.
00:28:55
Speaker
i know. We would all rather just laugh and celebrate the silliness of it with you than have something serious be going on and you disregard it. So don't feel embarrassed. It makes for great stories and we love great
Family Mishaps with Pets
00:29:08
Speaker
stories.
00:29:08
Speaker
In all seriousness, though, you get presented this case. Yeah. There's no one else around. There's, i don't know, for whatever reason, there's not an exotic vet avian and in a hundred miles. And they're like, Doc, i need to know you identify You identify this substance. It looks powder. It's...
00:29:30
Speaker
apparently not green, it's neon something. ahhuh how do you re How do you get to the end determination that it is in fact from Cheezo? Yeah, I would say there's um a bright orange powder. Did you feed him anything like a Cheeto?
00:29:48
Speaker
I know what you want me to say. because your sick little twisted brain wants you me to say that I'd lick bird's foot. You're going to lick it, freak. I'm not licking it. You're going to lick that dog. I'm not licking a bird's toes. You're going off. You can eat shrimp fast. You don't know where those have been. No, they're so poopy. I can't. I can't. They poop below themselves. I assume you guys wouldn't know because you're not avian vets, but is that an actual symptom of a disease to have orange bird feet?
00:30:24
Speaker
Bird feet, I don't know. Is it birditis? Were they black? Were they yellow? i don't know. ah Can birds get ictoric? Yeah, totally. Yeah, I'm sure they could. I was going to say, if they were like a pale foot and it became kind of orange-yellow, I would worry about like liver.
00:30:40
Speaker
wella Icturus. Too much carrots. Way too much Cheetos. B12, I guess. Sure. No. I would, um I mean, my first thought was something silly on his feet.
00:30:54
Speaker
I don't know anything about birds. And I wouldn't lick it. so what would you do? I would ask the person and say, let's brainstorm together.
00:31:05
Speaker
what kind of powdery things do you have in the house? Can anybody have given him something? They say there's five, Doc, there's five orange powdery things in the house I can think of, and four of them could be lethal.
00:31:17
Speaker
Okay, they can lick their own bird's feet and then tell me. They have a bad gag reflex. Keep going. What if I have a bad gag reflex? They're paying you too much money. You got to do something. I'm not doing it.
00:31:30
Speaker
I would collect the powder with tape and I would send it to the lab and have them analyze it and tell me what it is. There you go. ah So there's no like occult blood test. you could Occult doodle smear.
00:31:47
Speaker
you You put it on gauze, put some alcohol on it and see if it smears cheese or not. Yeah. If it turns blue with alcohol, then you know it's cheese. Yeah. if you rub If you rub the gauze together with some alcohol and the residue, does it make a Chester the cheetah imprint?
00:32:06
Speaker
Sunglasses and all. That's how you know. Mix it with a little bit of saline. yeah Get it, spin it down, and then do your analysis. And if it comes back extreme, you know that it is too cheesy.
00:32:19
Speaker
Feed it to a dog. Let the dog lick the bird's feet. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, no, there's four lethal powders in the house. They're all neon orange. It's all powder. Is it going to be lethal to a big dog?
00:32:34
Speaker
You're right. It's only lethal to birds. never It's Teflon. What other orange powders are we talking about? Oh my gosh, where do I start? Why don't you talk to her? you can do it.
00:32:47
Speaker
Orange powder, orange powder. Name all the toxic orange powders that you know of. Pumpkin spice sugar. That's not toxic. Saffron, not toxic.
00:32:58
Speaker
Turmeric. Paprika, not toxic. Sorry, poison turmeric. Arsnic-based turmeric. Hey, is that why you were eating the dog food test for poison? I was checking for poison turmeric. You're a hero. You're a hero. me unless You are a hero. A hero amongst birds.
00:33:16
Speaker
Why is it always like somebody's weird brother giving something to the animals, though? With the who? The brother? Yeah, it was like just the brother like dicking around giving the bird Cheetos. And I feel like there's always some weird family member that's like, oh, yeah.
00:33:31
Speaker
No, they didn't get anything, I swear. And then you're like, actually, Grandpa Joe's been feeding him Salisbury steak three times a week for the past two weeks. And that's why he's shitting his braids out, actually. i mean, he won that golden ticket. He's got all that steak money now. Yeah.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:33:47
Speaker
traded on all of his gobstoppers for Salisbury steak. would, honestly. It's a rough exchange rate, but yes. Yeah, it is Like, I did not mean to do a second Willy Wonka.
00:34:01
Speaker
ah so great we have two Did an Ooppa Loopa audition? Yeah, it was it was I was setting you up for that callback. That's fair. I appreciate it. Those were some pretty classic stories. Thank you so much for finding those on the Park Web for us. We just spilled the kibble.
00:34:19
Speaker
Don't lick the powder, guys. Don't lick the powder. Just don't do it. You can't. Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only.
00:34:33
Speaker
Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team. And a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share?
00:34:43
Speaker
Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story. Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.