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Ep. 24: BowFundMe
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Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet and animal stories. In this episode we talk about Project Hail Mary, chicken murder, and dental afghan blankets. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spill@spillthekibble.com
TW- chicken death, feces, surgery, snakes
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:00:01
Speaker
nor listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show.
Discussion on 'Project Hail Mary'
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel.
00:00:32
Speaker
I'm Dr. g And I'm Dr. M. And we're here to tell your clinic or animal stories. But first, how are you both doing? I'm doing well. I had a very emotional, high-stakes, adrenaline rush sort of an evening the other day because I watched Project Hail Mary.
00:00:53
Speaker
And I got too invested and became nervous ah towards the ah the the pinnacle of the movie. Oh, no. I don't want to say anything because i don't want to spoil it for those that haven't watched it yet, but honestly, it was delightful and I i was fully um immersed. I think it's it's a great, great movie. If you haven't seen it, it's pretty fun.
00:01:16
Speaker
I've never seen or read. i don't know if it's spoiler, but I heard there's a ah rock in it. There is. I want his sweater And have seen the sweater. The sweater is fantastic. Yeah. Rockwood's a nice sweater. The sweater was custom made for the movie based off another sweater that had a wolf on it.
00:01:37
Speaker
That was a little too like it had like blood on the mouth and stuff. And so they're like, let's make this sweater, but change it to a fox and get rid of the blood. They domesticated the original sweater. He's a teacher.
00:01:49
Speaker
Yeah, but he's like a cool teacher. ah That'll learn that nature is metal. You got ah you got to let him know. little good But yeah, for those of you, i don't even really like sci-fi movies that much for a scientist, but i think it was delightful. And I strongly encourage everybody to give the book a read or watch the movie. It's pretty fun.
Storytime Concerns with 'Hank the Cow Dog'
00:02:09
Speaker
Do you think more scientists like science fiction? I don't know. i don't know if it's like you you do science all the time, so that's not like what you want for entertainment. You're like, let's skip, you know, and's move on. Do I like sci-fi because I'm a scientist or do I like it because I'm a nerd?
00:02:26
Speaker
I don't know. oath Both. Both. I'm probably a scientist because I'm a nerd. Probably. if so that so i do want to watch it. It's on my list of things to watch.
00:02:37
Speaker
You made me think of a story, Dr. G, when you said we got to teach the kids how nature, some animals eat other animals. Yes. I used to work at a bookstore and I had to lead kids story time. And I was doing like a book club for like older kids reading like the first chapter of like one of those smaller chapter books. And I picked this book called Hank the Cow Dog. lab Which I don't even know if that's like a popular series anymore. But i actually at the time I don't even think it was that popular. But it was popular in our house. yeah Yes. So Hank the Cow Dog. And it's about this dog who he thinks he's the head of ranch security.
00:03:17
Speaker
And the first chapter is murder at the ranch. And I read the chapter and then I had a dad come up after and come up to me. He's like, do you think this is appropriate to be reading to children?
00:03:29
Speaker
Murder at the ranch. And I said, well, it was a chicken murder. So I feel like kids learning that foxes eat chickens is kind of something they're going to figure out eventually. Spoiler alert. It's in Aesop's table. Yeah.
00:03:46
Speaker
And so i was like, ah they're trying to figure out how to stop it from happening. So how how old was this audience? They were like third, fourth graders.
00:03:57
Speaker
Yeah, no, they got to learn chicken's got to go. I'm very sure they've already understood the circle of life. They've watched Lion King. They understand. You say, sir, has your child of eaten chicken? The circle of life.
00:04:09
Speaker
What? You got to say, sir, has your child ever eaten chicken? Yeah. They would have yeah, I'm pretty sure they're going to say yes. I think they didn't like the word murder, but I'm like, eh.
00:04:19
Speaker
We're building vocabularies. Yeah. They should know. I was just learning there's ah a new, ah they got a new host of Reading Rainbow coming back. Aww. That's exciting. That's fun.
00:04:32
Speaker
Yeah. I don't have anything more to contribute to that without looking it up more, folks. That's okay. That's okay. Hey, I like it when they bring back the classics if it's going to help kids read. Totally.
00:04:44
Speaker
What else? What else is new?
Dr. M's Relaxed Day and Cherry Blossoms
00:04:47
Speaker
I had a relief shift today and there were no surgeries for me. So I just saw some regular appointments and the owner was also working and we've let the schedule flip so I didn't have to work the afternoon. I got to go home a little bit earlier and took a nice walk. It was beautiful out with some cherry blossoms. That sounds lovely. it pop it a Ate a popsicle. I'm sure it looks like ah like a real local.
00:05:14
Speaker
Good. Good. Good for you. Good. I'm proud of you. Yeah, me too. You're doing great, sweetie. You got gotta to get up and move. What kind of, what flavor pops it on? I don't know. It wasn't orange. It wasn't pineapple. was something else. Some sort of. Guava seems way too out of left field. Mango? It wasn't mango. No.
00:05:33
Speaker
No? No? now Mmm. Mystery Popsicle. Maybe it was a blend. I'll check the box later. Yeah, it's probably tropical. Just one word, tropical.
00:05:46
Speaker
Tropical. Hey, that sounds delicious. No artificial flavors. A nice little mix. This is a Baja. Tropical. but before we started recording, you were like, I was going to watch movie and then I did it.
00:05:59
Speaker
So as Dr. Irma's kind teeing hers up, I felt like you were about to say exactly what I was thinking about watching before before tonight.
Harry Potter Casting Documentary and Movie Banter
00:06:09
Speaker
And it was, let's all say it on three. One, two, three.
00:06:13
Speaker
Harry Potter and the Search. Right. All the same thing that we said. Harry Potter and the Search. There's a documentary already out for the HBO Harry Potter of like the search for Harry Potter and all the other people. And I'm like, the show's not even out yet. And there's already a doc. That's crazy. You got to build a pipe.
00:06:32
Speaker
I guess you gotta show them chickens gotta to go. ah cocaine bear, huh? Uh, but no, I did not watch cocaine. bear Yeah. Because then I was going to have to like, you know, have you ever seen a a pet on cocaine? And I don't think I have. Me neither. Thank God. oh And that's not a good answer. But now you're getting like a third hand version of me not having a cocaine animal story. So no, you really don't. Not at all.
00:06:56
Speaker
Uh, who directed that? Uh, I think it was, um, uh, Scorsese probably. Um, No, okay. That's not the one where Leonardo DiCaprio goes inside the bear, right? That's different movie. that's Revenant, I believe. Yeah, you're right.
00:07:13
Speaker
For a second, I was like, oh yeah, that's the one where Leo DiCaprio climbs inside that cocaine bear to retrieve his cocaine. goes inside the bear. Wait, I i saw The Revenant. Does he do a... I don't think there's any hard drugs in the movie. There's... like ah one are the What? are the What are the guys you ride in Empire's Breakback? Bacta?
00:07:35
Speaker
Cocaine Bear was directed by Elizabeth Banks. That's what I said. Wow. Marty Scorsese and Elizabeth Banks. That's kind of shocking. She's funny. I just watched her in um the my mini The Miniature Wife. Oh, sure.
00:07:51
Speaker
Peacock keeps trying to make me watch that after I watch My Real Housewives, and I'm like, I want watch reality TV. I want to watch another house. I want to watch trash, please. I want to watch full-sized wives fight.
00:08:07
Speaker
I will say, rec for those that like to watch peacock shows, Ladies of London is top tier, best reality show right now. I wouldn't consider it a Real Housewives show. it's It's own thing.
00:08:20
Speaker
It's great. It's its own thing. Don't get it mixed up. giddy. That one thing that got picked up. That did get picked up. And we have a fourth host, co-host today.
00:08:34
Speaker
Our first special guest. Welcome to the show, Squid.
Pet Anecdotes and Mischief
00:08:39
Speaker
Speak. Well. Nah, she doesn't know that one I have two stories. And I got two deers.
00:08:47
Speaker
Oh, thank goodness. Okay, so the air conditioner has been cranked up. The patient is under the hot dog, but the surgeon has continued to sweat through the entire operation. My back is sweating. It's time to spill the kibble.
00:09:04
Speaker
Yeah, buddy. Again, these are two stories I found. So I'm going to start with the one that's a clinic story. But I will say the second story I have is just like a funny pet story. And I was thinking like sometimes you don't need to have a vet involved in some of these funny stories. Like I think we would all appreciate any pet animal funny story that you have. So, you know, I think those if they're really like silly and out of pocket, I think. I think it makes us even more credible if we are not the cause, result, or part of the wildness the story. Right, yeah. Exactly. We're just outside observers. No skin in the game. A silly situation that sorted itself out without medical intervention. A silly situation sans sanitaries. Yeah, there you go.
00:09:58
Speaker
So, i will begin. all we have another co-host. Another kitty has entered the chat. So I can introduce yourself. I've got Noah in the office. I don't think his purrs get caught up. So He's kidding.
00:10:12
Speaker
We got purrs. I tried. Oh, I will tell you a ah little tiny story about my own cat. Tell us. So we redid the basement.
00:10:23
Speaker
And the contractors kept moving our robo litter box. And I feel like it's never been the same since because I don't think it was handled. Oh, they threw it off.
00:10:35
Speaker
Yes. So I haven't been getting my notifications. I'm and going down to like empty it out, but just not to the frequency that I was when I was connected to my phone. I know I'm very lucky that I have a robo litter box, but it's just one of the things that I have to have because I cannot if it's out of sight, it's out of mind for me.
00:10:53
Speaker
Preach. um So I haven't been super on top of it because I was expecting it to continue working. um And I thought I fixed it. Anyway, i go on my daughter's plate room that we made in the basement and a cat pooped in there. And I'm like, great.
00:11:12
Speaker
The litter box must be, you know, full or whatever. Well, upon closer inspection, because we have a camera in there, um My orange tabby male was using the box of her bows and hair ties as his new litter box. And the entire thing was covered in cat pee. And I had to throw everything away and deal with a six-year-old crying over all her bows. Oh, no. And I was like, of all the places you could go, you pick a kid's like hair tie box. um
00:11:51
Speaker
Anyway, threw it all away. Now I'm like, you've got to close your door the playroom. Don't let the cats in it. lot Because he did it once. Now he's already done it. There's a scent in there. He's going to think he can just go anywhere in there now. so he He's tasted the piss in the water.
00:12:10
Speaker
He's just anti-bow. He just really doesn't like bows. He doesn't support it. He's not into the boat life. He's like, how dare you have a child on me? I'm baby. Why would you have another one? Anyway, sorry. That was my own story. No, that's awesome.
00:12:27
Speaker
Sorry for your loss. Yeah. It's all right. I'll get her some more. Yeah. I will also contribute to the bow fund. Okay. It's not that hard to find bow.
00:12:38
Speaker
Bow fund me in the late Lincoln and the credits or whatever. fund me. Let's go.
The Rubber Snake Surgery Prank
00:12:50
Speaker
Okay. So our first story was found on the Bark Web. youpi And it begins, it's a totally normal day and a boxer comes in for one very common reason.
00:13:03
Speaker
Vomiting. Sorry, i didn't ask you. Vomiting, nothing out of the ordinary until we take x-rays. And there it is, very clear, very suspicious cylindrical shaped object sitting in the intestines.
00:13:22
Speaker
Naturally, the vet shows the x-rays to the owner and and asks the dreadful question, any idea what your dog could have swallowed? What do you both think they'd swallowed?
00:13:32
Speaker
Corn, corn, corn, corn, corn corn corn corn corn corn corn corn every everybody audience not a co in occurrence corn cob sure is it's delicious but it's hard to break down you're not supposed to eat the whole cup dogs now know that Corn curings, they're hard to break down. They each one not fall, you know? Well, let's not forget. Now, there are there are many cylindrical things on this world.
00:14:00
Speaker
True. What kind of second one? Pipes. Pipes, pipes, pipes. Baguettes. Now, baguettes are good to go. Baguettes, gats, gats, gats, gats. Even the scaleless of baguette might could fracture tooth, but they'd eventually break it down.
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. ah Other cylinders, other cylinders. I mean, we got it on corn cob, so yeah, nevermind. Pogo stick. That's very large.
00:14:29
Speaker
It's a boxer. Okay. that Shall we continue then? Please. Yes, please. The owners, completely baffled, had no clue. We decided surgery is the best option. Often. Fast forward to the operating room.
00:14:47
Speaker
I'm assisting the doctor and monitoring the patient under anesthesia. Princess Anastasia. yes My granddaughter Anastasia. Go ahead.
00:15:01
Speaker
The patient under anesthesia. Everything's going smoothly, calm, routine. Until the doctor makes the incision into the small intestine and she suddenly screams.
00:15:15
Speaker
Now what do you think it is? Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats. rats Tube of bees, tube of bees. It's a tube of bees. i don't know.
00:15:26
Speaker
Um, remember those canisters from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 Secret of the Ooze? You know I don't. Something like that. yeah i know what about I know you don't.
00:15:38
Speaker
Man, i thought i I thought I knew you, dog. What about those prank peanut cans where you open it and just snakes go flying? Maybe it's one of those. Ooh, just a snake.
00:15:50
Speaker
That's a cylinder. Should we find out? Yes, please. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The doctor jumps back away from the table as what looks like an actual snake head pops out of the incision from the pressure.
00:16:08
Speaker
Yes. Yes. I froze, my heart stops. I'm thinking there's absolutely no way this dog just had a live snake inside it. tora Toy, toy, toy, toy. But after closer inspection, a collective moment of breath, we realized the truth.
00:16:26
Speaker
It's not a real snake. It's a rubber snake. Wow. Amazing. Wow, wow, wow. i have I've been and have pranked people with rubber snakes in a hospital before. I've never gone this far. That's admitting.
00:16:43
Speaker
That is a next level prank, not going to lie. Well, I think, okay, so continuing on, this is really what what's the kicker. But here's the thing, with the patient's respirations while they're under anesthesia, the snake looked like it was moving.
00:17:01
Speaker
I'm sure. Fully convincing Academy Award winning performance. I mean, what's more snaky than peristalsis? Nothing. this is just yeah What's more snaky than peristalsis? that's but Sorry, I know. What's more serpentine than peristalsis? Yeah, God, get it right.
00:17:25
Speaker
um Honestly, kudos to us for um guessing snake and also prank snake because we got pretty close on that one. We're getting better. I was so surprised that you guys both did that. You give me her feet, we hear zebras dressed up as snakes.
00:17:42
Speaker
Listen, you give us 12, 20, 36 guesses we're going to get there. but it's true. I can do this all day. Keep on swinging.
00:17:56
Speaker
So to finish up the story, thankfully the surgery ends well. The patient recovers beautifully, no complications at all. And the best part, the owners had absolutely no interest in getting the object back.
00:18:09
Speaker
So the vet cleaned it, kept it, and now it lives as a trophy. Officially crowned the most interesting foreign body surgery we've ever had. oh heck yeah.
00:18:20
Speaker
Do you at your clinics ever have like trophies for certain surgeries or clients that you keep around forever to remember the case? uh you know there's lots of unsubmitted biopsy jars okay dexter those are versions of trophies they are but i looks like dr m has a very good answer it's not i i have biopsy jars and like ticks and heartworms because i like to have stuff like if i ever go to a school or like girl scouts boy scouts just so i have specimens because everybody likes to look at the gross need some deliverables I have so many teeth. I ah collect a lot of teeth as a warning to others to brush their teeth. And I'm the dexter. Don't end up like this jar. The doggy tooth fairy.
00:19:04
Speaker
Truly. um i have a taser barb that I pulled out of a dog that I got to keep because he he was a very ah reactive dog that was on the loose and the local police did. tased him and the barf couldn't come out so I had to take it out. and He was fine. He was like, what up? be he I don't think he even blinked.
00:19:24
Speaker
And I have a pacemaker that I took out and kept. So I have a few. That's very cool. Thanks. If anybody ever wants to see some pictures of my treasures, maybe I'll share them on the Instagram. if to ask ring You have to ask nicely. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, we are on Instagram, people. all agree? Yeah.
00:19:45
Speaker
Yeah, and we make funny posts. We think we're very funny, and we hope you think so, too. It's spillthekibblepod.
00:20:04
Speaker
Spillthekibblepod on Instagram. I'm looking at it. Please follow us. Please do. you kidding We got plenty. You're not following us. Listen, I'm very selective.
00:20:16
Speaker
He didn't know how to spell it, but now that he does, he's in their like swimwear. I'm following. I'm following. right I thought so.
00:20:27
Speaker
i already am. I prize promise. oh Good. Good. Because we're going to check after to see if you're a new follower. get notifications for that kind of stuff. Okay, so this is the second story, and this doesn't have anything, any clinic part to it, but it is a silly pet story.
Phil's Missing Dentures Mystery
00:20:49
Speaker
I love a silly pet story. I am ready. I'm waiting for Dr. G to get him locked in. I'm back. I was on the gram. I know. Are you ready? And that's why i can't look.
00:21:01
Speaker
That's why he can't look. He gets distracted. He can't look. it Sucks me in. understand. Okay, I'm here. All right. So our story begins. My husband, Phil, has dentures.
00:21:15
Speaker
Hey, Phil. We see you, Phil. One evening, as he was preparing to shower, he took out his teeth and placed them on the bathroom sink. I love where this is going.
00:21:27
Speaker
He went for a clean towel, and when he came back, his teeth were missing. How big's the dog? We searched for an hour. they were nowhere to be found. He was forced to go to work without them for days.
00:21:40
Speaker
What was Phil's job? Now, I have a question. do you think that you would also take your teeth out to shower? i don't know Are they comfortable?
00:21:54
Speaker
I don't know. I guess we'd have to not. Phil, hey, Phil, do your teeth hurt? And what do you do for a living? Yeah, seriously, because I think I would have taken time off.
00:22:10
Speaker
Phil, or this is a perfect opportunity to get like the little Halloween vampire teeth and prank everybody at work, which could be fun and clever. Phil, might do voiceover work, though.
00:22:21
Speaker
Shoot. Well, yeah, maybe he does it without his teeth in, though. Could have been a professional chewer. Yeah, masticator. A smile model.
00:22:32
Speaker
m Okay, what's the best job for Phil to have if he's missing his dentures? Baby food tester. coin Coin biter tester at a pawn shop to make sure they're real. Okay, mine was mime. I'm going to say that.
00:22:51
Speaker
Dr. M's yours, no. Okay.
00:22:55
Speaker
I think the more teeth the better for prospecting gold. Yeah, I think so too. And yeah, I definitely like yours. yeah Okay, so this was a job for for him to where he doesn't need his teeth. Yes.
00:23:08
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, you sorry. You heard it exactly the opposite of what I meant. You went the funny way. i just, no. Oh, you said doesn't. No, hey, hey.
00:23:23
Speaker
You know what? Now that I think about it, the thing you said was good. It's okay. I just didn't hear it. no No, thank you. All right, so let's find out what happens.
00:23:36
Speaker
Our son Josh was in high school marching band. And that following Saturday, we went to a tournament of bands. Phil took a short nap in the car.
00:23:47
Speaker
One of the students went to get him for the show. And when he got there, Phil was asleep with his mouth gaping wide open, clearly visible that his teeth were missing. Oof.
00:24:00
Speaker
The kid came back and told all the other kids, And then Josh relayed the story about the teeth and that we believed our cat, not Herbert Spencer.
00:24:12
Speaker
That's from the rest the engine. had stolen them but but we were unable to find them when Phil arrived back to the field all the band members began teasing him saying what's the matter Mr. Phil cat got your teeth o oh burn sick burn from the middle schoolers whoever hit whoever hit that mark first sorry high school celebrated that day yeah close 14 year old in town
00:24:44
Speaker
What do you think about a cat named Herbert Spencer? Sounds like he's in trouble. It sounds like a menace. ah What do they, in Criminal Minds, what do they say? Like, they describe the, like, possible suspect that they're trying to create the... The the unsub.
00:25:02
Speaker
The unsub. He's the main unsub in this case. A serial unsub, because it seems like he's probably stolen things before, right? Yeah.
00:25:13
Speaker
i I feel like nobody suspects Herbert on the first thievery. This must be a pattern of behavior or he's been escalating. It started with milk rings and maybe like some, you know, greenies, but it's escalated to teeth.
00:25:29
Speaker
does it Did it say at any point how many pets they have? Shall we see if he was wrongly accused or if he is the suspect? He is. yes i think i think we got ah I think he got a bad rap.
00:25:41
Speaker
All right, let's find out.
Herbert Spencer's Secret Stash
00:25:43
Speaker
Well, several days later, our son was watching TV and covered himself with an afghan.
00:25:51
Speaker
Lo and behold, the dentures were wrapped in the afghan. My son called my husband and told him he had just been bitten. ah Two weeks later, Phil's watch was missing, and we found it in Herbie's secret hiding spot, the afghan.
00:26:11
Speaker
The Afghan is long gone, and now Herbie has hiding spots we know nothing about. But we are certain when things are missing, Herbie has esconded with them.
00:26:23
Speaker
Herbert Spencer is such a funny cat that family members say we should write a book about him. I mean, they probably should. I think that would be a really cute kid's book, honestly. Yeah, what a little pillager.
00:26:36
Speaker
Yeah, he's like a pirate. He's like a little, yeah, he wants his treasures. He just trinkets. Your guys' as cats ever hoard treasures?
00:26:49
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, mine too. They're like little baby dragons. your husband your Yours hasn't? Mm-mm. I think things get stuck under the couch. that Not that you know of. That's a good point. I haven't shaken out my Afghans lately.
00:27:04
Speaker
yes You have to. That's step one. You think that little baby's a thief? No, i would not her. No, she's perfect.
00:27:16
Speaker
This one's a thief. food ah We have this little like movable like bar cart, and that's where they all are, is under the bar cart. Okay. Mine were under the couch. And they're pushed under. I see them push them under.
00:27:31
Speaker
so Look at him trying to get away with his little tiny T-Rex arms. He wants to love you from all the way over there. No, he wants to get down. It's air jail.
00:27:44
Speaker
Well, that's the stories. That's some story. That one wasn't that related, but I still think it was funny. Absolutely. Listen. We love animals. We love pets.
00:27:55
Speaker
And at any point, Herbert could swallow one of his treasures. So, you know, he's been to watch. If he came in for vomiting, I would ask, does he ever steal stuff he shouldn't? I'd say absolutely he does.
00:28:08
Speaker
so It did not even register a tiny bit that the second story was not a veterinary
Inviting Listener Stories
00:28:14
Speaker
specific one. well ah All animal stories welcome. So if you're listening...
00:28:20
Speaker
Honestly, it was dentistry related. ah so True. And bully, high school bully related. Afghans. Yeah. if you're If you're listening and your pet is funny and has a big personality and you've got some fun stories to share, we want to hear them.
00:28:38
Speaker
ah So we send in those stories because we just spilled the kibble. That cat's done again. Got your teeth. to Okay, Grandpa. I can do all of you. Cut the teeth. Yeah. Perfect. It's pretty good. Bye.
00:28:58
Speaker
yeah ah's pretty good i e i Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only.
00:29:09
Speaker
Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team. And a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share?
00:29:19
Speaker
Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story. Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.