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Ep. 13: Oops, All Cats
46 Plays2 months ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet stories. In this episode we talk about Super Bowl, kids movie franchises, and a few Traitors references so beware. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spillthekibble@gmail.com.
TW-needles, animal death, feces
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
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Transcript
Introduction and Hosts' Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel. I'm Dr. G. And I'm Dr. M. And we're here to tell your clinic stories. But first, how are you both doing?
00:00:12
Speaker
I think I got spinach in my teeth. Oh. That's why. But so call you spinach teeth. Other than that, I'm incredible. That's great. Incredible is great for, you know, a Monday. That's fantastic.
00:00:27
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, being incredible on a Monday is the best way to start because even if you fall a little bit, you're starting at the
Metaphors and Predictions
00:00:35
Speaker
top. If you're trying to crawl your way back up, boof.
00:00:38
Speaker
Not me, dog. It's Sisyphean. We start Monday and we just roll that rock up to Friday, watch it go down and start again. ah no. No room for gravel underneath your feet. you got to hit it running. I had a lovely day of relief today. i had a busy day on the road yesterday.
00:00:55
Speaker
ah My New England Patriots are going to be in the Super Bowl next week. And, well, sorry, hang on. At time of release, they'll have already won the Super Bowl. Wow.
00:01:10
Speaker
Congratulations to you. Friends, yeah, i'm on glad we're on cloud nine over here in Pats Nation. um You know, we're heading we're heading to Boston. You know, we're lining up for the parade.
00:01:22
Speaker
It's cold, but it's worth it What was your favorite play that they did? Probably the touchdown. the double no You know what? It was the double touchdown. I like when the one guy like did two kickflips and still landed on his feet and got the touchdown back
Humorous Sports Speculations
00:01:37
Speaker
to back. Could you believe them? And I'm glad they finally let skateboards into the big one this year. Me too. I know. I know I've personally been petitioning.
00:01:46
Speaker
The ollies were nuts. The ollies were sick as all get out. The touchdown dances were rad AF. and But did you see the alien abduction in that one row of seats?
00:02:00
Speaker
Oh, that was a commercial. Did you think that was real? I did think that was real. That was for Jenko Jeans. ah yeah they're coming back in a big way look to back baby yeah everything comes back it comes back around hide your kids hide your other legs and never mind i scratch and scratch it sketch hyd your kids hu with eyes hide your calves hide your thighs jecos are coming it down her love that absolutely oh wow good job patriots we're proud of you i think
00:02:33
Speaker
No, do we have any other predictions? Let's make more wild predictions just to see if one of us secretly has the gift. One of us might be so Raven. We just don't know it yet. More british about the Super Bowl or? in Anything, babe.
00:02:45
Speaker
Do you think two of the players are going to kiss like heated rivalry? wow I don't think they're going to kiss hard. I think smooches could commence.
00:02:56
Speaker
Sure. do you think it's going to be an air kiss or a real kiss on the cheek? Like Lisa Rinna. It's going to be a real kiss air bud.
00:03:06
Speaker
And if the other team touches the Patriots broach. Is there a football Air Bud? There's gotta to be. There's gotta be. There's every flavor Air Bud. I'm pretty sure there's a four years getting Air Bud.
00:03:19
Speaker
Which do you think there's more of Air Buds or Land Before Times? Land Befores Times. There's like easy seven. There's a lot of Air Buds though. Should I Google it?
00:03:30
Speaker
Yes. So there's six Air Buds, but then there's Air Buddies. They count. Everything in the universe counts. I would argue the Bud universe is vast and multifaceted. Okay, there's 15 Air Bud and Buddy movies. There you go. One
Movie Count Debate
00:03:46
Speaker
five, baby. How many dinos?
00:03:48
Speaker
ah Much like my malastasia pachydermatitis, I'm a safer land before time, it is too numerous to count. Really? That limit does not exist?
00:04:01
Speaker
It's at least 10. Well, that's not as many as 15. This hard-hitting journalism. Did you not hear how many buddies there are? There's a 14? Yeah, but that's all Bud. That's Bud. There's 14. 14 Buds and Buddies. These are all Land Before Time. yours are too... There's no breakout. How many episodes of us sorts the Happy Days and Joni's Chachos? It's like...
00:04:26
Speaker
But did Land Before Time have spinoffs? Because all those characters are it's a cast show where there's not one star. So like every single one of them, you know, has to work in unison. Whereas Air Bud is like one major dog.
00:04:43
Speaker
guys? I mean, it looks like Bigfoot. Wait, that's not their name. You guys. what What guys? Yeah, guys? there's 14 lands before time. That's what I said. 14 buddies. Wait, how you said 15 bud buddies. There's 15 buddies. Oh, I'm sorry. I got really excited that we had a dub all well. ah Buddy, Buddy takes it by the nose. It's not Air Buds felt he got replaced with hotter, younger buds. Because Hollywood is a cruel mistress.
00:05:11
Speaker
That is true. The dinosaurs are supposed to look old. Listen, I quit being a D
Google Searches and Laughter
00:05:16
Speaker
girl to become a veterinarian, so I had no say in any of the Air Buds, Land Before Times, or Land After Time. Spinoffs in any... sort i just want to point out that one of the air bud movies is called snow buddies and although i know they're trying to be cute i just think of snow bunnies and i don't think i would have named it after that but that's just me that's people moving that's people going to the when it's cold when it's hot out when it's cold they go hot
00:05:48
Speaker
That's snow bunnies? No. Snow bunnies? herds Snow birds. Right, right, you right. Not snow bunnies. hey what' The birds and the bunnies, babe. What's a snow bunddny You don't know what a s snow bunny is? Google it. already messed it up.
00:06:02
Speaker
Give it a little Google. This is a lot of Google ASMR. It is an inexperienced, usually female skier, very attractive, who's kind of just there for fun. Like a buckle bunny.
00:06:21
Speaker
Yes. Got it. ok It's kind of ah a skiing groupie. So I do think that in a one-on-one battle, Land Before Timers would beat the Air Buds and Buddies.
00:06:32
Speaker
Yeah, sh- there's a bunch of her there's a bunch of herbivores in there. Yeah, but there's also like flying taloned reptilian creatures. Well, just the just the core group, not the like bad guys. But they took down T-Rex.
00:06:47
Speaker
Yeah, and they did. they did But you know what Air Buds took down? The system. Pockets. Buckets and the system and the idea that dogs can't dunk and they can.
00:07:02
Speaker
So who's the real winner? i think cinema is the real winner. i think that we're all the winner for the both movies being made over and over and over and over again. Plan before in your bud.
00:07:14
Speaker
o mashup. Bud before time. then There's something there. The land before blood. The land before blood. Oh, but well There will be air blood.
00:07:32
Speaker
And I hope there is forever. I'd watch it. yeah I'd watch it. mother Well, with that, we don't have any stories. Yikes. But I've been reading books because, you know, I like to read books. So I have one from All My Patients Have Tales again. And i have another one from a book that I will tell you later because you guys are going to love it.
00:07:56
Speaker
i love it already. To kick us off. We're thirsty. Our well is dry. Please, pretty please, send us some stories because it's time to spill the kibble.
00:08:11
Speaker
But seriously. Glug, glug, glug. Good luck. So thirsty. understand. It was the holidays and people were busy and not thinking about it, but come on, we need stories, please. We do. And these stories that we are finding are wonderful and I love them very much, but there's something so special about having ah a listener that we can feature and put your story on. And we really like the personal touch. So if
Listener Stories and Fame
00:08:37
Speaker
you think of a good story and you've been thinking of writing it down Or you can even send a voice memo on your commute to work if that's easier than um writing things down. We know everybody's really busy, but our inbox is open and we would love to hear from you guys. Please and thank you.
00:08:54
Speaker
um We got some feedback from a story submitter that told us a story about the cat that was eliminating on its owner overnight. um To which this doctor said, oh mg I just listened to spill the kibble with my story and I felt like a celebrity.
00:09:11
Speaker
Do you want to be a celebrity? Do you think Lisa Renna's cool? Then get in our inbox, S-P-I-L-L, at spillthekibble.com, and become a celebrity today.
00:09:25
Speaker
to- today. no but really, we'd love to hear from you. They're the best. We will start with the first story from, again, All My Patients Have Tales.
00:09:36
Speaker
um This book is actually pretty fun, I gotta say. It's very, like, cute. um And I decided to go with a cat one for you guys. because You love cat stories. All three of us are cat lovers. Did I do that right?
00:09:53
Speaker
No. no Because I didn't say cats in French. Correct. Or anything
Fred the Cat's Clinic Mix-up
00:09:59
Speaker
else in French. No, you said I love you. t'adore.
00:10:04
Speaker
Git. Was that your name? Was that your attempt at saying cat in French? I thought you said get. Yeah, like get of here. And you gonna talk that fancy French talk. And then I thought you froze. I know. That's just my face. I know enough Spanish to get by. I don't know French.
00:10:24
Speaker
That's okay. um What is French for cat? Je dure le chat. Gato. Okay. So the story begins. Fred had a reputation that preceded her.
00:10:37
Speaker
Yes, her. She had originally been brought to the clinic long before I came along for a routine male neutering procedure. it quickly became obvious that the parts that were meant to be removed were not there.
00:10:52
Speaker
This confusion is common when it comes to young kittens, since it can be very hard for owners to distinguish gender. Then once the sex is decided on and a name is given, there's no reason to question.
00:11:04
Speaker
At any rate, the surgical instruments were quickly exchanged for those required for a cat spay and Fred became a neutered female. Love to hear it. Mazel, Fred. Mazel, Fred. I love a quirky little name. It's happened before. i've seen this many a time. I'm sure you have too, G. But I always think it honestly makes something more interesting.
00:11:27
Speaker
do like And sometimes people try to take like the the other version. I remember in sixth grade, we had a class rabbit and its name was Vader. Mm-hmm.
00:11:37
Speaker
And I guess somehow someone thought Vader was a mask name, but we found out Vader was a lady, so they made it Vega. And that's a little bit of a departure. Fred.
00:11:49
Speaker
What's wait girlfriend? Winifred. Winifred. Yeah. Fred works for everything. It makes me think of Fred from the TV show Angel. Yeah, Puffy's She's a good friend. Mm-hmm. The best part is you name a pet anything. You can name them anything, and they're just happy to be a pet. That's your pet. Especially cats.
00:12:12
Speaker
Yeah, you don't even have to yell that in the backyard. You can name it anything. Go nuts with it. Get creative. Or don't. It's fine. That's your cat. Okay, like don't be disrespectful. But yes, you can name them anything.
00:12:24
Speaker
Keep my cat's name out of your mouth, please. I had a client the other day and we were we were all, you know, huddled around their pet telling stories in their home.
00:12:36
Speaker
And they told me what her name originally was before they got her. And they said that it was Veronica. And the whole family scoffed. And I thought, well, shoot, that's an incredible name. But now I can't tell them how much I love it.
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah. It is an incredible name, though. I like i like Veronica. Ronnie. Me too. ah Rona? That's a great name. Yeah. Veronica Mars. but Exactly.
00:13:03
Speaker
So, the story goes on. The long-term problem was that over the years, Fred had grown to hate her trips to the clinic.
Challenges with Fred
00:13:12
Speaker
I don't know if it started with the original mix-up or just build-up over time, but she really despised it and was now beginning to take this attitude out on her owners and the staff.
00:13:24
Speaker
It had gotten to the point that when we saw Fred's name on the schedule, we would consider faking a sick day just to avoid the risk of personal injury. Oh, no. Oh, Fred.
00:13:35
Speaker
Do you have that one pet ah that gets on your schedule and you go, oh, no, not this nightmare? I'm gonna let Dr. Evan take this one. Why, because I'm GP? Yeah, of course.
00:13:47
Speaker
You know what's fun though, is I find that most of the time everybody's ugh groaner of a pet is different. So there's some people that are like, ugh, not that one. But there's somebody else in the hospital that usually loves that one. And they're like, they're just spicy, but they're so cute when they're sleepy. And so usually it's, you know, everybody's got a different fan base. It's okay if you don't mesh well with everybody.
00:14:11
Speaker
But yeah, there's definitely some animals that are like, oh, nose goes. Who has to deal with that poor sucker? I find it sometimes it's the client I would rather make a sick day for rather than the pet, however fractious they may or may not be. True. um Those are moments for fear-free medicine to shine. Exactly.
00:14:33
Speaker
Every industry is going to have one of those clients that you want to fire. Yeah. And most the time, the scarediest, scaredy cats of our patients, um, they They only to become problems if the owner refuses to let us ah do fear-free medicine and sedation and things that would make the situation better. So in the end, it all goes back to the person attached to leash.
00:14:56
Speaker
Just kidding. We know you like your pets. It's okay. No, it does. And it's you attached to the leash and we hate that it's retractable. God, I hate a retractable leash. Don't bring that into my exam room, please.
00:15:08
Speaker
Yeah. Please don't bring that. These are the hard-hitting opinions. Yeah. Yeah. you Get into it. You came here for the truth. Can you handle it? Yeah. We're leishest. They can't handle the truth. They can't handle their stupid retractable leashes.
00:15:24
Speaker
Tangle me up in my room. Our room. We're team. So let's see what happens with Fred. Then one day, Fred's owner, Mrs. Umbra, called me to talk about the situation with Fred.
00:15:37
Speaker
I was wondering if because Fred's aversion to going to the clinic, would it be possible for you to come to our house to see Fred? She said. I paused, then
Home Visit Preparations for Fred
00:15:47
Speaker
replied carefully. That might not be a bad idea. Let's make an appointment and I will stop by and give it a try.
00:15:53
Speaker
All she needed was some vaccines. But in the case of Fred, even the most routine procedure could turn into a big ordeal. Thoughts. lot of key words.
00:16:05
Speaker
All she needed. Just some vaccines. multiple Just multiple ouchie pokies. Routine procedure. i would rather do just a physical exam. I feel like that I can do on ah on ah an angry Kit Kat a little bit faster than I can poking and prodding, especially in an environment that is not my controlled environment. I think if If we're set up for all the things we need to do and we know that we're not going to have a fun time of the clinic, it's worth a try if you can logistically swing going to a house like that. this And this story probably finishes up like you can wrap it up now because I know it goes off without a hitch. Well, and also our hero, Jenny, has a cameo in this. Oh, Jenny's in the car? Yeah, she's see she is part of this. It's going to go great then because Jenny's a rock star. I know that they will succeed in the end.
00:16:58
Speaker
Okay, so let's find out. The appointment was set up for the following Friday morning, so Jenny and i headed over to the Umbra's. We really didn't know what to expect from Fred on her home turf, so we armed ourselves with thick leather gloves and heavy jackets.
00:17:14
Speaker
We pulled into the narrow driveway where snow was piled along the side from the last storm. Gathering the necessary syringes, vaccine, and personal armor, we tromped through the snow to the front door of the spacious home.
00:17:29
Speaker
Mrs. Umbra came to the tall oak door with curlers in her dark hair and her robe still on. How would you feel if you came to an owner's house and she was not dressed for company?
00:17:44
Speaker
You're not gonna surprise me, i don't care. I'm totally fine with it. You'd surprise me. You'd have more home business than Dr. M. You know what, you'd surprise me, but I'd pretend like you didn't.
00:17:58
Speaker
Stone cold, I'll keep probing my way through it. Absolutely, I'll be like, oh my goodness, don't you look beautiful? do you have somewhere wonderful you're going later today? but You look it. How's Fred?
00:18:12
Speaker
Okay, so we continue. She was a small woman with a warm smile and big brown eyes. Her husband was an airline pilot and they had met when she was working as a flight attendant. Mr. Umbro was gone a lot due to his work. So she and Fred were pretty close.
00:18:26
Speaker
Oh, thank you so much for coming, she exclaimed. I just know that she'll be happier here. We headed into the living room where Fred was patiently waiting on the couch. The last thing in the world she expected was to see us on her home turf.
00:18:42
Speaker
That's her problem right there. Can't be meeting in a wide open living room. This is a bedroom with no room under the bed or the bathroom. Uh-huh. Bathroom for sure.
00:18:53
Speaker
The shock lasted just long enough for Mrs. Umbra to grab her, keeping the feline from disappearing under the furniture. We decided that the kitchen counter would be the best substitute for an exam table.
00:19:05
Speaker
Sure. Yeah, I like that. So Mrs. Umbra headed into the voluminous kitchen with Jenny and me in tow. She placed Fred on the granite countertop and turned her over to Jenny.
00:19:18
Speaker
I examined Fred and listened to her heart and lungs with my stethoscope. Then I pulled up the vaccine and headed towards Fred with a syringe. This was when she decided that needles were evil, whether at home or in the clinic. ah She admitted a low growl, the kind that should have come only from a full-grown lion, not a 10-pound kitty on a kitchen counter.
Distraction Techniques for Fred
00:19:41
Speaker
Thoughts?
00:19:41
Speaker
Classic. Feelings? They're smart. The animals are smart, man. they know They know when it shifts into poke time. They can feel it in their bones. I don't know. And they know when poke time's over and they're way chiller.
00:19:56
Speaker
Do we tense up? Do we carry ourselves differently when there's a medical intent? i think they're just more intelligent and like hyper-vigilant and aware of things than we give them credit for. They see it. I mean, they can see a tiny fly buzzing around. You think they don't see and a syringe in your hand?
00:20:11
Speaker
My cat can't find a treat dropped on the floor in front of her face. Well, speak for yourself. I walk into a room and I have just eaten cheese and my cat knows. And she's mad that there isn't some for her. And she starts yelling at me. Climb in your mouth. Yeah. So it different strokes, man. Yeah, I think probably knowing Fred's history, I may have tried to keep the needle a little bit hidden. Little Assassin's Creed up the sleeve dagger situation.
00:20:39
Speaker
Okay, sneaky. Assassin style. Alright, well, let's see what happens. At this point, we seem to be in no better situation than if we had been in the clinic. Then, our hero Jenny came up with an idea.
00:20:57
Speaker
Jenny with a good idea. When I was in veterinary technician school, one of my teachers showed me a little trick that might just work on Fred. She smiled wisely as she continued to explain.
00:21:09
Speaker
If I push Fred along the counter from behind, she might concentrate on where she is going more than on what you are doing to her. Have you ever done that? I'm trying to picture it in my head and I don't know what Jenny's saying. Okay, so I'm imagining a cat that put the brakes on. We're on a smooth, okay, here we are. We are on a smooth granite countertop. Voluminous kitchen. Paint me a picture. The captain, his photos on the counter next to the spice rack. She dreams of him as she's making dinner on her lonely nights.
00:21:38
Speaker
Her and Fred sharing a glass of wine. His photos walk every night. Possibly I should continue because it gives you a more of a good picture of all right. All right. Maybe we should just let the author do it. Yeah. Okay. The counter in the Umber's kitchen was very long and made a 90 degree turn near the end, giving it an L shape. We all agreed that this technique would be worth a try. So we prepared to put the plan into action. We move Fred to the end of the countertop, the farthest end from the sharp turn.
00:22:06
Speaker
I was ready with loaded syringes and Jenny stood beside the counter with her hands positioned on each side of Fred's haunches. We knew that the procedure would have to be performed quickly because even though the counter was long, there was only so much of it.
00:22:24
Speaker
Jenny began pushing her along and I started vaccinating. Mrs. Umbra kept her fingers crossed. I love how she's just like, she's probably like ah near the fridge, like, hopefully this works. inter col In her curlers and her robe, just being like, fingers crossed, guys, good luck.
00:22:43
Speaker
Sure enough, it appeared to be working. Fred plunked down her rear end and put her front legs out in front of her. She was trying to stop the forward motion with her spread front paws and was concentrating so hard that she didn't notice the needles.
00:22:58
Speaker
What do you guys think about that? I appreciate this as a distraction. i think it could be good. I worry about, well, Jenny's already wearing shark gloves and whatever I imagine.
00:23:11
Speaker
So we're probably safe enough. Jenny knows what she's doing, I think. Legend has it, Jenny knows what she's doing. What is your favorite distraction for a cat?
00:23:22
Speaker
um I like taking a pen or a highlighter and very gently massaging the bridge of their nose in between their eyes. I am a super not big fan of tapping, smacking, anything like anything. If you ever do to a person, if they would say, please stop that.
00:23:48
Speaker
Um, so I like the nose thing. I think for cats, my, honestly, my favorite, if we're removing pre veterinary pharmaceutical from the equation is still going to put a cone collar on them and then just hold them in the lateral, um, gently. You don't have to scruff them. You don't have to do anything other than hold them. Like every dog you've ever learned how to hold and you're safe and they have a cone on. And I like to lay them in left lateral recumbency.
00:24:14
Speaker
That way they can get. What is that? ah Lay on their side, left side, touching the table. Why the left? Because most of their vaccines are going to go on the right side. So you're holding them. You don't have to reposition or move them. You can get your blood, get your urine if you need to, and then give their vaccines and then let them go and you're all done. Oh, and probably their nails too.
00:24:37
Speaker
While you're at it. While you're at it, and that's just a cone. No muzzles, no nut, just a cone. We all got them. I like the burrito and churro sauce situation sometimes.
00:24:49
Speaker
You know? Churro's been life-changing. Temptations, they weren't it. we weren't you' saying You said burrito, so now my brain thinks you said churro, but I think you're saying churro. Churu, sorry, yes, I am. No, I have a churro machine up front and I put a cinnamon little delight in front of the cat and I say, crunch on You really love it.
00:25:11
Speaker
Welcome in the booty. I'm wearing a churu t-shirt right now. That's amazing.
Fred's Smooth Vaccination
00:25:16
Speaker
So to continue with this story, i had completed two injections by the time Fred had reached the turn of the counter, and I had one left to go.
00:25:25
Speaker
Jenny maneuvered Fred around the tight corner, giving me just enough time to finish the job. Suddenly, it was all over. No mortal flesh wounds, no upset kitty, and most fortunately, no excrement. That's respect for the kitchen countertop, yeah.
00:25:41
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, i didn't I didn't get it from the context that that Fred was a a peer or pooper. Yeah. Panic pee and panic poop. It happens. It's what they tell you to do in self-defense. That's always my go-to. Pee, poop, and puke. I did have a call. So when they it, I'm not bad. I'm like, yeah, that's what you're told to do in self-defense. I don't blame you.
00:26:03
Speaker
I did have a scared cat poop on the exam table today. It made me real sad. yeah Scared the poop right out of them. I done did it. Yeah. It's okay. Did you need the sample?
00:26:17
Speaker
No, they already brought one, but this was fresh. Fresh. So you got to ah No, I didn't keep it, but I had to get up and throw out that trash cam. Yeah. Of course. Because my tech, but we were trying to get stuff done, but their plan was kind of kind of pick it up, but then smear the rest into the mat on the table and and deal with it later. And boy, that smelled too bad.
00:26:39
Speaker
Yeah. No, that's rough. o Okay, well, moving on from that. Mrs. Umbra just stared in amazement. I can't believe it. This is the greatest, she yelled as she gave her cat a big hug.
00:26:55
Speaker
Don't yell. Don't yell at cats. Don't hug cats. Yell. And restrain the nervous cat that just had a good experience. Be like, no, no, no, no. Don't break it. Don't break it. We just did that.
00:27:07
Speaker
ah But the most amazed was Fred. She sat there in total astonishment, receiving love from her owner. Her expression indicated she was almost disappointed that she had been through a full set of cat vaccinations and not even had a chance to object.
00:27:24
Speaker
So, Jenny, i I want to imagine that they were making like race car sounds as they scooted this. just Scooted this brakes on Kitty. It's an F1 Kitty situation. Yeah, hitting that last turn on the L-shaped countertop.
00:27:41
Speaker
F1 before they F you up. Versus catten. That's very Exactly. great Jenny beamed with pride at the success of her suggestion, and I knew i would be buying her lunch to reward her for her ingenuity.
00:27:56
Speaker
i didn't mind at all, since I had been dreading this house call from the day we made the arrangements. We victoriously packed up our things and headed back for the truck. Mrs. Umbra thanked us profusely, waving from the doorway as we drove up the driveway to the main road.
00:28:13
Speaker
and Jenny and I heaved big sighs of relief once we were out of sight, and I bought lunch at the restaurant of her choice. As you should. As you should. And then we saw the blood.
00:28:25
Speaker
ah ah um i Lunch is always better when you're uninjured, and I feel like um Jenny feels like a class act. I feel like it's a local place. It's not it's not a chain. They said restaurant, yeah.
00:28:39
Speaker
Yeah, it's a local place. We're not doing, like, and and even not like fancy chain. It's no Cheesecake Factory. We went somewhere where she knows people. like yeah Like a dinette? Yeah, somewhere where Jenny has connections.
00:28:52
Speaker
Hmm. Like she got her favorite meal. Yeah. Go Jenny. Where do your, where does your support staff like, like if, if you're having a rough day or something like that, you're trying to crease wheel, you're like, all right, we're getting, we're all getting lunch.
00:29:05
Speaker
What's the go to? The local place. Yeah. I'm not going to, I'm not going to say what it is, but yeah, there's a deli nearby that has like a little bit of everything. got delis for your food? Yeah, they're not the same as what you have, but yes, we have those. Okay. Soups, Sammies, you know, the works. ah but We do that or some like fried chicken, but then usually the bathroom situation isn't great at work.
00:29:32
Speaker
Does fried chicken get people poop? Some can't be a bit spicy. I mean, I guess all people all food gives people poop. but I think that's a fact. Eventually. Food becomes poop. You're right.
00:29:43
Speaker
I'm so glad you figured that out off i on the mic. I almost did a pet nutrition coach certification at ah at the conference the other week, but I elected not to because I've got gems like that in the chamber. You already know everything you need. already know food make poop. but So what are you to teach me?
00:30:03
Speaker
Okay, well, I have another book that I was reading, and I thought you both would enjoy this. ah The book is called 100 Cats Who Changed Civilization.
00:30:17
Speaker
Cute. Love that this is a celebratory cat episode. thought. Why not? Make it a theme. Yeah. Okay. It's called Acoustic Kitty. Ooh.
00:30:29
Speaker
The mysterious world of espionage reached its pinnacle during the darkest days of the Cold War. As the Soviet Union and the West struggled for worldwide military and economic supremacy, no intelligence gathering scheme seemed too wild or harebrained if it offered a chance, however small, of gaining vital information.
00:30:50
Speaker
Yet even the context of those desperate times, the CIA's plan to turn a stray cat into an electronic intelligence gathering platform still sounds rather, well, nuts. i feel like there was a Disney Channel original movie similar to this. Wasn't it That Darn Cat?
00:31:08
Speaker
She was like trying to solve a mystery and she found like a cherry stem, but she thought it was like a bloody twig on her cat. Christina Ricci in that one. It might be k Christina Ricci. Is that the Rugrats mashup?
00:31:19
Speaker
we really We really dig deep into like movies from our childhood. Listen, get into it. If you know, you know. And if you don't, you're welcome.
00:31:31
Speaker
All right, so diving into this, the project was revealed to the public in 2001 when it was mentioned in a parcel of heavily censored documents declassified by the CIA's Science and Technology Directive.
00:31:46
Speaker
According to experts, the scheme hatched during the 1960s was to wire felines with listening equipment so they could eavesdrop on conversations.
00:31:58
Speaker
Where are they going to hide it? In their little fatty patatty primordial pouch? Where are we putting these wires? Maybe they call a collar? Perhaps the collar. Laced within their whiskers? That was the other thing that I was thinking. How cool would that be? If I was a cat, though, I'd munch on it. There's no way that I would leave that alone if it was that close to my mouth.
00:32:18
Speaker
You'd just get like a lot of sounds. That's all you get. You'd be like, and and the guy who's going to drop the bomb is... wow but but It reminds me of those um those people that like put a camera on a cat and just like like a GoPro.
00:32:36
Speaker
I love those videos. Much different than a GoPro on a football. Yeah. Those are dizzying. The prototype called Acoustic Kitty was surgically implanted with microphones, batteries, and a radio receiver, along with an antenna running up its tail.
00:32:54
Speaker
That's bananas. Oh, okay. This was in 2001 that they did this or the 60s? The files were declassified in 2001, but this is from the 60s. I'm following. That feels, that tracks, that feels more like what it was. Yeah. The 16 million project came to an abrupt end, however, during field trials.
The CIA's Acoustic Kitty Project
00:33:14
Speaker
I can only imagine why. The bionic cat was released near a park and promptly run over by a taxi. I thought it was going to be that it was purring too loudly. poor God, stick to putting cell phones in your shoe and leave the cats alone. and It was a merciful finale for the poor creature. Perhaps God or Mother Nature or simply fate realized that a bunch of idiots were tampering with biology's most elegant design and decided to stage an intervention. Whoa. I mean, yeah, at least they didn't invest and do this to like 250 cats and then be like, oh, darn. Like there was one sacrificial cat that just was like, I'm not to. $16 1960s money. That's a lot
00:33:59
Speaker
That is a lot. And it was all for the antenna. In the tail? How? I don't know. Just being stupid. um I will say that cat said snitch. Not on my watch. No.
00:34:12
Speaker
Catch these nine lives. I'm not snitching ever. Never going to snitch. Never going to make me. Did it say the name of this cat? Would you like to name it? Yeah. Yeah. What's like? um if You could name it Bugs.
00:34:26
Speaker
ah Bug is good. Radar. good Radar's good. Espionage. No, because he refused. Don't name him for what he was ever going to be.
00:34:37
Speaker
He's loyal to the end. A faithful. A faithful. He'd never be a traitor. He's only a faithful. Traitors. right Right before the taxi cab, he said, I am a true faithful. and This is true. Day one, I came out of here playing this game. He was voted out of the round table. Poor baby. That's horrible. um Thank God there's better laws about um testing out animals these days.
00:35:02
Speaker
I don't think the 1960s were very nice to animals. No, they were sending people. Or women. Or women. Let's be real. It's a rough time all around.
00:35:13
Speaker
You looking up more names for our our our cat, our mascot of the show? Yeah. What was you got what you're coming up with? but It's probably Michael, because obviously that cat's the best looking, smartest, doest faithful, faithful.
00:35:29
Speaker
This is my cat, Rappaport. Poor baby. Was that the end of the story? Yeah, that was the end. and And they never snitched again. And nobody ever tried to make him snitch. That's real life. Sorry, we ended on a sad note. But at the same time, was a cat from the It was epic, though. I mean, he had you know they did put that tiny capsule behind his um last molar in case he got caught, too.
00:35:54
Speaker
But he chose his own way. Yeah, it's true. it's either So the cat's name is either... Cyanide. It's either a Bug, Radar, Espionage, Michael, or Ava.
00:36:06
Speaker
Exactly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah Exactly. Well, those were some pretty great cat cat stories celebrating our our feline friends. And we we just filled the kit.
00:36:18
Speaker
Remember to check your smoke alarm batteries every six months. It could save a life. but look That's true. All right. Bye. Bye. Goodbye.