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Ep. 7: Dog Diva Down
20 Plays3 days ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet stories. In this episode we talk about amputated dog legs, mysterious fecal matter, and a found foreign object. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spill@spillthekibble.com
TW-excrement, amputation, condoms, and tampons
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Spill the Kibble'
00:00:01
Speaker
You're listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
Content Warning
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show.
Meet the Hosts
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel.
00:00:32
Speaker
I'm Dr. G. And I'm Dr. M. And we're here to tell your submitted clinic stories. But first, how are the docs doing today? my My thing froze.
Weather and Wardrobe Banter
00:00:42
Speaker
I asked how you were doing today.
00:00:44
Speaker
It froze. I was frozen today! It was cold today. It was very cold today. it was it a nice weekend and then it was very cold and I got tricked. I wore a cute light jacket and I needed a winter coat.
00:00:57
Speaker
ah It'll get you. It'll get you every time. you drive to work?
Driving Anecdotes
00:01:02
Speaker
ah No, I jog. Really? No, I live in the suburbs.
00:01:08
Speaker
I'm looking at your face and you're stone cold so I can't tell. Yes, I drive 50 miles uphill both ways. Mm-hmm. Tell on the transmission, let me tell you. It's a of a thing. She can't wait for those flying cars. Mm-hmm. Yeah. man what I dream of those.
00:01:28
Speaker
Before I could drive, I told my dad why i even bother learning because by the time I'm ready, they'll have flying cars. You know what, though? I think you're you're a big dreamer, and I like that about you. You just shoot for the stars because you'll hit the moon or something. Something like that, yeah.
Vet Clinic Hazing Incident
00:01:45
Speaker
um my My grandpa, his dad, owned a driving school, so I feel like it was also probably a little bit little bit cruel of me to say that. We ended ended up doing lessons and it was great. Out of a job. Yeah.
00:01:56
Speaker
I will say the one thing I'm happy about is that all the teachers that told me, you can't use a calculator for your math class because it's not like you're going to walk around with a calculator in your pocket, and now I'm laughing at them. They goofed it, yeah.
00:02:10
Speaker
goof dead Yeah, they shot pretty wide on that one. So never say never. Exactly. It's still the trick of knowing you got to know what type of math you can do on the calculator. But then I guess, again, you could just ask your computer nowadays, what's what is that?
00:02:27
Speaker
You can totally just Google it. But you know, computers make mistakes. so Not as many as they used to, though. Not as many as they used to. They've gotten a pretty tip-top in recent years.
00:02:41
Speaker
And are you are you double-tracking your computer's math? If it looks bad, Isn't that, boy, that's always been a helpful thing. where You both use math more than I do daily. On math and on the reg.
00:02:52
Speaker
On the reg. Were you a tech assistant or technician before you became a doctor? um I was an assistant, but was not. Did you have it in your head like certain volumes of oh god what is like a normal looking dose?
00:03:07
Speaker
I was a high schooler when I worked in a vet clinic before I went to college. So I never worked as like full-fledged adult. I was a surgery prep technician. And so I mostly just sterilized and cleaned and restocked. I got to do plenty of that too back in the day. It was very fun. I liked cleaning everything and scrubbing everything down. It felt very good.
00:03:27
Speaker
there's a nice yeah There's a nice routine about it that works with all that. The sounds, the hum, you usually listen to music in there. Lots of good music, yeah. Although the first day, um i was a little bit afraid of blood when I was first um traversing into vet med, which is kind of a silly thing to say now because I love surgery, but I was pretty spooked out by it.
00:03:46
Speaker
And my very first day in the job, um they had amputated a leg and they just handed it to me and they said, get rid of this. And I do realize now they were testing me.
00:03:57
Speaker
You think that's what it was? I think maybe they were testing me. Amputee hazing? That's yeah that's big. But I was like too like nice and I was just like everybody needs help sometimes and I just figured it out. So you just politely fainted or? No, I just got rid of it. I was just a big brave girl and didn't say anything but I do think I was being politely hazed and that's okay. Got rid of it?
00:04:20
Speaker
What that mean? Well, you bag it. And then? Put it in the biohazard bin. It went in the biohazard trash. How big of a leg?
00:04:31
Speaker
Okay, you can't ok we all can't see your hands. It's not a visual podcast, Dr. I'm visualizing for myself. So for those of you that can't see, she's showing this big.
00:04:42
Speaker
Maybe like two and a half feet. It was a decent leg. it was decent. At least two rulers. What dog are we talking? don't remember. That's even easier.
00:04:53
Speaker
Yeah, okay. Because it was only a leg. You didn't know where it was. Honestly, it was brown and white. That much I know. Short hair, brown and white. Or shaved and brown and white. Unclear. It kept it tight.
00:05:06
Speaker
yeah ah No, sloppy mouth. This guy. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Okay, but like that same vet clinic I worked at that same place as the receptionist at a different time.
00:05:20
Speaker
And they were pretty casual about keeping the animal limbs lying about. Because I would just like walk back there because I needed to ask them a question and there'd be like a dog leg chilling on the... counter ready to be bagged. Well, you weren't there anymore. Exactly. I wasn't there anymore to do the job. Some other kid fainted. had no wonder he was Yeah, there was no one else there to bag the leg.
00:05:45
Speaker
Official leg bagger, that's me. Yeah, I was there after college. We just switchy swatchy places. Yeah, we just swapped one for the other. it was two and a half big shoes to fill. We sound the same anyway.
00:05:59
Speaker
We do. sorry Sorry, listeners. when you ship When you show sizes on camera, that looks different. but Thank you. Thank you.
00:06:10
Speaker
i don't remember what we were talking about that led to us talking about legs. It's cold outside. It's cold. but ah Well, I have stories we can get into.
00:06:24
Speaker
That sounds like fun. Okay. Well, I think some of these are kind of classic. I'll bite. like We love a classic. But ah first, let's get ready.
00:06:36
Speaker
the rabies has been killed. The bordetella has been modified. and the podcast is live a it's time to spill the kibble let's go let's go let's go so i' two stories i found on the bark web excellent thank you barkwe rough Thank you, listener, Barkweb. Marcus. Marcus Webb. Yeah. ah mar bar's work Marcus. Marcus.
00:07:04
Speaker
Marcus. Marcus Webb. The third. Man, I have three, and they're all all really funny. Okay. So the story begins when I was a teenager working kennel duty
Weimaraner and the Condom Mystery
00:07:17
Speaker
at an animal hospital. One of my main jobs was taking the boarding dogs outside so they could go to the bathroom. Pretty simple.
00:07:26
Speaker
Or so I thought. I don't see how it gets any more complicated than that. What's the craziest thing you think could happen? It went number three or number four.
00:07:38
Speaker
I was gonna say a UFO came and abducted it from the I'm sorry, two UFOs came and abducted it from the back. Yeah. Abducted it from the back? like No, no.
00:07:50
Speaker
Just rump up. From the backyard where I assume it happens. Uranus, just straight up, let's go. And then another UFO and sucked up that UFO.
00:08:01
Speaker
So they go on. There was this Weinerimer boarding with us for a couple of days. I let him outside like usual. He came right back in, happy as ever, and went into his run. I headed out to clean up after him, but then I stopped.
00:08:16
Speaker
Next to his poop was something. here And I had absolutely no idea what it was. dud du What do you think it is? Next to his poop.
00:08:30
Speaker
A dung beetle, a very large dung beetle. Whoa, two dung beetles. Two dung beetles and a UFO. Okay. Okay, they go on. It was this pale, grayish, pinkish, creamy looking thing, kind of smooth, and my brain immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion.
00:08:51
Speaker
Intestines. Oh, well, sure. really. I mean, that'd be horrible to find. I feel like they would be still connected. Yeah, but if you're That's the It's dark, you're a teen, you're alone. wait did they say it was dark outside?
00:09:07
Speaker
I imagine this was an overnight situation, but I guess it could be wrong. i don't I feel like mysterious things... It doesn't say it's night. All right. Well, in my mind, because of the UFOs, it's nice. No, let's unpack this. Why was it? Oh, that's right. UFOs only come at night, of course. you have a dumb beetles or diurnal, so we should be right in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.
00:09:28
Speaker
So they thought they were intestines. Honestly, I thought he had somehow left part of his insides on the ground, even though he was totally fine in wagging his tail inside.
00:09:40
Speaker
What do you think it is? Okay, give us the colors again. We got gray, we got pink, we got creamy, we got smooth. Great listening skills, Dr. M. Yeah. Thank you. It's called active listening.
00:09:57
Speaker
I've been nodding my head the whole time. ah It's not action listening, it's active. Now, are we going to have to talk about poop again?
00:10:09
Speaker
Oh, wait, we already did. we always were It always comes back to me. I just put trigger warning feces every single time. that's I think that's safe. It is safe. um Could be some sort of um foreign body, I guess. Like they pooped out something that they ate.
00:10:25
Speaker
I think not a dung beetle, but another animal. Or a mummified It was a squirrel. It was a squirrel. a squirrel Okay, let's continue then. like yeah I got so worried that I ran to find the vet, which this is my own opinion, but I think that's a good idea.
00:10:44
Speaker
oh I thought you were to be like, sounds like it's daytime. Right. Because the vet's there. That's not there because it's daytime. You know what? It's true. At 9 p.m. at like a regular GP with boarding, there's no vet there. You're like, good luck, teenager. That's true.
00:11:01
Speaker
We gave you the keys. You're checking in way late at night, yeah? We've definitely confirmed it is day. Fair enough. The vet came outside with this long stick, poked at the intestine, air quotes, and lifted it up. It was sock.
00:11:16
Speaker
And that's when both of us realized it wasn't intestines at all. It was. What do you guys think it is? Two socks. Also, why did he have a stick inside?
00:11:28
Speaker
i think he just found a stick outside. But it said he brought it Listen, said they're not on trial. Listen, I'm actively listening to. No. Why is stick there? He came outside with this long stick. Maybe they have a poop poking stick. and That's rough. ok Okay. um Socks, underwear, some sort of cloth item, I imagine.
00:11:54
Speaker
You're both wrong. Piece of gauze. It was a used condom. Why is it pink? No. Maybe it was flavored.
00:12:05
Speaker
Whoa. They like bacon flavored. Yeah, a bacon strip flavored, you know. Ah, kids these days.
00:12:18
Speaker
And so they finish out the story. I was so embarrassed, like completely mortified that I had dragged the vet out there thinking a perfectly healthy dog had dropped an organ.
00:12:29
Speaker
And they got his poop stick all dirty, too. know, for nothing. they said this was next to the poop. They did not describe it as being brown. No? no well Well, here's the thing, though. It does make more sense now that we know that there's a latex or a non-latex aspect to it that they they could mistake it for intestines.
00:12:49
Speaker
A little sausage casing situation. but Maybe there was some poop inside of it. Or it was just kind of like an aftermath. It was trapped but betwixt two boulders. One passed and then it slid out.
00:13:05
Speaker
No, I'm saying, what if it was there the whole time? Ooh, aliens. The dog didn't bring this into the equation. True.
00:13:17
Speaker
He just pooped next to it. I worked at a really big hospital that was next to a methadone clinic for humans. Okay. Oh, thank God I was worried about the dogs. It depends where this depends where this clinic was located.
00:13:30
Speaker
It's true. That's very true. You think the Weimaraner ate it? If it's anything like best in show, the Weimaraner probably, yeah, probably ate it. It probably ate it. For the listeners, do you guys, have you had this situation where you had to deal with a dog that's eaten a condom? Yes, we boarded a puppy. It was only like seven months old and it shit out two condoms um in in quick succession. And I was like, okay, like did one pop or you guys just going at it? But like, it was definitely a twofer. And then I had to call the wife and be like, hey, you need to be really careful where you throw these or get a trash can with a lid. The evidence was in the poop. Yeah, maybe her two husbands are very embarrassed.
00:14:16
Speaker
It could be. I'm glad I got her in on him, to be honest. It's like a little girl talk of like, these boys. Anyway, get a trash can for the cover. The dog was a boy, too. They were just all, you know.
00:14:28
Speaker
i don't think i've ever found I don't think I've ever found condoms in a dog's poop. i've I've had them vomit them before. Sick. If I was a dog. If I were a dog. yeah giant Once it went in, I'd want it to come out the other end. and not Don't relive it.
00:14:44
Speaker
You know? ah Yeah, I think that was the only time that ever happened, but it was shocking that there was two. Because the the nurse brought the first one to me and was like, look at this. And then they were like, he's pooping again. And we looked, they were like another one.
00:14:58
Speaker
It's twins. it's It's twins.
00:15:04
Speaker
It could have been twins. I mean, dogs do poop their life birth, so. Yeah, never forget it Was that the only instance? to Double whammy? It was a double whammy, and that was the only instance. Yeah.
00:15:17
Speaker
Well, go bring her home, I guess. Yeah. Well, I have another story. How many condoms are in this story? Oh. No condoms in this one. Oh, all right. UFOs, UFOs, UFOs, UFOs. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready.
00:15:33
Speaker
This is from a completely different storyteller.
German Shepherd's Barking Mystery
00:15:36
Speaker
So this one starts early on at the clinic I work at now. We had a German shepherd come in.
00:15:44
Speaker
The owner, a very sweet middle-aged woman, was worried because her dog's bark sounded off. Like, literally different. Other than that, the dog seemed fine.
00:15:55
Speaker
What would you guys think? Laryngeal paralysis. It's a great one. i mean, it's not, you know, it's terrible disease. And, you know, judging by the way the type of stories that we get, probably not a pretty standard open and closed case. So, Ada Squeaker.
00:16:12
Speaker
Ate a squeaker. ate a whole helium. Ate a helium. Ate some helium. Ate a condom full of helium.
00:16:22
Speaker
but What are you talking about? No, I feel like eating something makes sense. i feel like you Because when i when I think of like changed voice for dog... Puberty? LARPAR. LARPAR.
00:16:35
Speaker
Yeah, or ate a condom full of helium. yeing um rules When I think of cats, I think of hyperthyroidism. Doing a little do a little change up on the voice. um pay Yeah, I don't know. Other than the condom full of helium, I'm not sure what my differentials would be. but thought This story does not have a condom in it. Okay, fair enough.
00:16:54
Speaker
Ooh, risky. I know. Playing it fast and loose. Regular helium.
00:17:03
Speaker
Popoglifolioio. Okay, bad boy. Okay, so it goes on. So our DVM grabs his little headlamp and starts poking around the mouth. So this night.
00:17:16
Speaker
Okay, he's going to look at the dog's throat. Okay, so he grabs his poop stick and a headlamp. This different storyteller. We all got that one freak at the hospital.
00:17:27
Speaker
I like that they called it a little headlamp. They're like, listen, you know. He geocaches too. It's obvious. The dog with his little headlamp. Yeah, his delicate little baby headlamp that he wears when he's doing his delicate little baby work.
00:17:41
Speaker
Okay, so he grabs his headlamp and starts poking around. Stop it. Stop saying it and I'll stop. Okay. He starts poking around the dog's mouth and throat.
00:17:52
Speaker
He thinks he sees something behind the tonsil, but there's no way to get it out with without sedation. Totally. Purple fall me down. Let's go. ah Do you believe that the sedation is for any dog or is it because it's specifically a German Shepherd?
00:18:11
Speaker
No, I feel like it's for any dog where something's that far back, I would argue. you ok Okay, okay. and Because that's, now you're... You're asking me a bit. You are asking a bit. It's giving the lion tamer sticking his head in the mouth at the circus. It's not even that dog wants to bite you. It's that it's going to have to close its mouth full of teeth at some point, and you're in there.
00:18:31
Speaker
Yeah, that that's fair. So they go on. Fast forward, the dog is sedated, and the practice manager, who loves a front row seat for weirdness... What, that?
00:18:45
Speaker
Get in the trenches. Love it. That would have been me. I would have been like, i'm just here for the show. So the practice manager is watching as the doctor carefully fishes around back there. And then he pulls out something dangling by a string. Uh-oh. What do you guys think it is? oh Now it's tampon. A yo-yo.
00:19:05
Speaker
A fish hook. But it's making noise. It's changing its voice. Unidentified foreign object. It is the aliens. Hmm? Hmm?
00:19:16
Speaker
I don't know. All right, I guess we'll go on, right? Yes, please. On a string? it's please. It was an unused tampon.
00:19:26
Speaker
You were right. You did it. And it was half expanded with saliva. Oh, gross. It's used now. God, and it's tonsillar crips. That's pretty crazy, honestly.
00:19:40
Speaker
The doctor looks at me calmly like it's a normal Tuesday. Is that it? The practice manager is already laughing. The storyteller says, what? The doctor, who is a patient little Welshman, old enough to be my grandfather, clarifies, is that the entire tampon? Oh, baby. He does have a wee little lamp. He's just a little guy He doesn't know. He's never seen one. He's from another time.
00:20:09
Speaker
He's used to pads. Yeah. While was the key inside? ah And the tracking device, because if you missed that.
00:20:20
Speaker
For all of our male listeners that are less sexually experienced than I, why don't you tell them what the tampon key is? chris noy The beepers?
00:20:32
Speaker
There's nothing. It's just cotton, arsenic, and a string, baby. that's That's what I i know. yeah's good Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I think Tone's important, too, because this' maybe he's being a little bit punchy about it, like, that all you got?
00:20:48
Speaker
Yeah. Is that the whole thing? Oh. You made a whole stink about this little baby low flow. Not low flow. i don't know. Cut me. Censor me. me.
00:21:02
Speaker
Next time, come back with a super plus if you want to impress me. That's what this little guy with his little itty bitty flashlights up to. He pulls out a jeweler's loop.
00:21:13
Speaker
Well, so the storyteller answers, oh, um yes. I mean, there's usually an applicator, but yeah, that's the whole thing.
00:21:25
Speaker
He nods, checks the rest of the throat, and the PM manages to get out between laughs. Don't you know, Doc, you have four daughters? Oh.
00:21:36
Speaker
Oh. The doctor rolls his eyes, looks over his glasses at us and dead pants. And on what occasion would I have had any reason to open one up, take it apart and inspect all of its pieces? I mean, valid. And imagine that in a Welsh accent because I can't do that. Quick reply. Yeah.
00:21:55
Speaker
Can you do Welsh accent? I don't know Welsh. Welsh is from Wales, yes? Met a girl from Wales one time. She was super nice. Well, then there you go. They're all nice.
00:22:07
Speaker
met Met a Welsh girl at European Jesus Camp. No complaints. So the story finishes. The owner was mortified. But she eventually confessed she'd found the wrapper and applicator, but not the tampon itself.
00:22:19
Speaker
Everyone had a good laugh once the story came out, but I'll never forget that little moment of, what the heck am I even looking at in the dog's throat? And another great reminder to always save the packages, the wrappers, or anything.
00:22:33
Speaker
ah Have a trash can with a lid. Yeah. If you have an extra hand, if you run in the hospital, grab that trash can, throw it in a bigger can, bring it with you, and sort it out.
00:22:44
Speaker
yeah Dr. M, you were just admonishing all the men for not throwing their stuff away. here we have a lady who's doing That's true. You know what? Everybody does it. And you're right Called out. And I respect it. And I accept it. You're right. If you have pets, you should have covered bathroom trash cans.
00:23:03
Speaker
Yeah. We need to make sure our pets do not get in our bathroom trash cans. They said, and again, this is for the less worldly listeners than me. It's said they usually come with applicators.
00:23:16
Speaker
Yes, they don't always. They don't always. um I think it's a very an American thing, but other countries, they don't come with an applicator at all.
00:23:28
Speaker
Just grin and bear it, huh? Stick her up there. They use a stick. They use the poop stick. ah Ah. I mean, it's very much just like loading the cannon. Oh, my God.
00:23:41
Speaker
Also, you were telling us not we got to be safe using no condom before this story, but apparently we don't need to worry about that at this time. Yeah, we're good.
00:23:53
Speaker
It was an unused tampon, though. Yeah, but why was it out? Maybe she's about to use it. Maybe they pulled it out of, took it from their someone's purse.
00:24:05
Speaker
Oh, maybe. Even as me, if I kept a purse, I would keep an extra one in there. You know what? for friends I actually really do think more men should hold on to some, just in case. If you ever have a bag, you never know. i get it If I get a bag, a nice little, cute little crossbody something or other. a man worse I'll get you little trench coat set of watches. You'll just have different... You got Diva Cup.
00:24:28
Speaker
You got all the sizes. You're just helping girls out. I can have it on one side. Oh, no. every every Every size, every shape. You know, tampons were used in war.
00:24:42
Speaker
Hey. ah Hey, you're caught up. What? So that dog was just preparing for war. Sorry, that dog's a hero. oh Yeah, he is.
00:24:58
Speaker
Well, you know what that means. We just spilled the kibble. Not all heroes wear diva cubs. but Nice. I think that's perfect.
Closing Remarks and Call for Stories
00:25:10
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team.
00:25:23
Speaker
And a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share? Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story. Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.