Transcript
Speaker: You're listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
Speaker: Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show. Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel.
Speaker: I'm Dr. G. And I'm Dr. M. And we're here to tell your clinic slash pet stories. But first, how are you both doing? What are your are you excited about for the July coming up soon?
Speaker: like Excited, ah kind of. It's a mixed bag and that in vet med, feel. Are you working? ah Yes. Yeah, I am.
Speaker: On the day I don't know. Let's see. What day of the week is it? It's to be a Saturday. No, it's Saturday. I'm not working on the day, but I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of panicked calls at about 3.30, 4 p.m. on the 3rd, as people realize. They go to grab their pre-firework PVPs, and the saxophones are getting louder because they see the canister, but there's nothing inside. There not enough social media posts and warnings to get people to fully get on board of doing this a day, a week, a month in preparation.
Speaker: It's true. The storms helped a little bit. There's been some storms near me, so I've had the opportunity when people come in to be like, how has your pet been dealing with the storms? Speaking of, it's almost fireworks season. Do you need a meeting for that? So it's been part of my...
Speaker: routine lately. To be fair, when I was a kid, I was not a fan of the loud fireworks. I could have used some drugs. Warm milk? Just some drugs. Just some drugs. and some drugs yeah what for For any of our canine or feline listeners out there who have noise phobias, Kel, how would you recommend they ah they get through it?
Speaker: Yeah, in your personal experience. Okay, well, watching the fireworks from a distance, maybe within a structure, like the family van, far away from the fireworks. I like to watch my fireworks very close.
Speaker: Are you the one setting them off? ah i ah You need a helicopter. Oh, you want to be like, you want to be where the explosions are. Yeah, I want to be in sky.
Speaker: Feel the colors burn your face. Now you can have drone fireworks, which feels a little bit safer to be flying around. Oh, yeah. Oh, I saw a lot of drones last year. Yeah, those, they're doing some fun light shows with those guys.
Speaker: You know what also is fun is being on the lake and seeing the fireworks you're on a boat. That is fun. no Boat side fireworks. a lot of room to panic. Well, she doesn't panic now.
Speaker: oh you Oh, you got better. You grew out of it. I got bad. So, okay. So, Recommendation number one, don't look at them up close. Go far away. Maybe through glass.
Speaker: oh What else? What else should our pets do? Have a blankie. Have a blankie. For hugging or for chewing and swallowing.
Speaker: her question. Okay. Well, i wouldn't recommend chewing and swallowing it, but um I would prefer to hug it, snuggle it. A hugable, snuggle blanket.
Speaker: And then third, um hot dog full of drugs. Yes, drugs. But like, I guess something to distract you. Okay.
Speaker: Maybe a food that's also an activity. Some kind of like, for people, yes. For a dog, maybe like a conch shell with some treats in it or peanut butter.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure you said cong, but I heard conch, which is very interesting. I think she said conch, and I loved it. so We're just tongue tied and silly today, team.
Speaker: I'm all hooked up on warm milk and hot dogs, so. Yeah, I don't, I honestly, I'm not a dog. I don't know. Fair enough. Truer words never spoken. I guess cats just hide under the bed.
Speaker: Or they just chill, you know? go like a i don't think mine gets riled up at a, I don't think either of our cats get riled up with fireworks. Mine, squid will always hide from the so the oven turning on.
Speaker: Why? is it beepy? It's when you hear that preheat like click over. She just knows like eyes dart and then she just slinks off somewhere far away.
Speaker: Nothing's ever happened. Well, not in this lifetime, but you don't know. no in this Not under my watch. yeah No. I like to um politely joke that maybe um dogs are having more flashbacks from past lives, that they earned the right to come back as a dog that doesn't have to work for a living. It just gets to like live and sleep and love. Wow. But that fireworks and thunderstorms are giving them a little little flashback. So they came back as a dog so they can live, laugh, love.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly right. Do you think a dog from a previous life then made that sign popular? Live, laugh, Yeah. It was human, then dog, then human? Or just, like, other things dog-human?
Speaker: i don't know. dealer's choice. Sure. i think I think more so they were involved in the... At first, there were two sets of footprints in the sand, and then I stood up on my haunches and walked like a circus animal.
Speaker: Like a bear. Like...
Speaker: Like two bears jumping on one foot at a time, yes. you was going say, in all seriousness, if you haven't requested um medication from your vet yet, let this be the reminder to Yeah, do it today.
Speaker: Don't wait. Call today. but but And we have a pretty good track record of getting getting this information to people in time of the holidays, so you will... Okay, we're getting better.
Speaker: You will have ample time to pick up your hot dogs and drugs. This one I am planning on having in time. I this i love this.
Speaker: It's perfect. What was I going to ask? I forgot already. oh no I'm going to a barbecue. Yep. Oh, you have plans? um Yeah. Going to a house.
Speaker: Going full America. a barbecue house? Sit outside in the heat. Talk about stuff. Are you a grill master? i've i've I've mastered some grills, yeah. This won't be my home, so i'm I'm sure I won't be asked to lift a finger.
Speaker: You're not gonna take a spin on the... I'll walk out. Well, I mean, me and the other gentleman will surely stand around the grill and grill master and point at things, giving giving scraps of advice here and there.
Speaker: Sure, as is tradition. like Because there's there's two ways to do grill. You can be very uptight, particular, and and industrious. And that's that's needed sometimes. But a true grill master is enjoying the whole vibe. And I think it takes a little bit of lubrication. But yes, you can absolutely go too far over. Then you're trying to do like pyrotechnics and...
Speaker: We're just not paying attention. Yeah. Get some hockey pucks out to the crowd. that yeah I was going to say we grew up with our dad getting distracted and our hamburgers becoming hockey pucks.
Speaker: Had you considered that hockey pucks put a little bit of hair in your chest, maybe it's for the batter. That's why. That's why. ah Oh, man. It's all the carbon. It's got to go somewhere else.
Speaker: ah Yeah, I feel like you're right, though. A grow master reaches a flow state. It's not unlike yoga or meditation, you know? There's something to it. Mm-hmm. Gotta get drunk for yoga.
Speaker: or goats. Or goats. Goat yoga? Yoga comes in a couple of flavors. Regular, drunk, goat, or hot. yeah Are we just, like, too much of a white woman to be like, goats, wine yoga, goat yoga?
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, with the upbringing that the three of us had, you know, we'd have to come out that way. Thanks, mom. Thanks, mom. Because I have I go to yoga every week. um But when I have to do it like virtually, it's cat yoga over here. They're trying to like sit on me. They're trying to be underneath me.
Speaker: It's very distracting. Yeah. If my cat was kneading on my yoga mat, I would absolutely lose my Zen flow. Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker: Not much gets my good more than a cat scratching on something and i don't want them to. Well, on that note... On that note, I'm a monster and I won't tolerate it.
Speaker: of the Well, I was going to say we can get into stories. Okay. i think that'll calm me down, yeah. I have some that are that are holiday specific.
Speaker: It's the holiday season... I'm gonna guess everything perfectly the first time. i bet you will. I'm gonna guess it all wrong on purpose.
Speaker: Okay, so the hot dogs have been grilled. The fireworks are on deck. And there's no way you'll find trazodone in this slice of cheese.
Speaker: It's time to spill the gible. Yeah, yeah, Dish. So this first story I just found on Facebook. So i'm not going to say the person's name because... That's fair.
Speaker: I don't want to be like blown up her spot, but um I found it cute. Okay. We love a cute story. Thank you, anonymous um Facebook poster. Thank you, Mr. Zuckerberg.
Speaker: It begins. The 4th of July is rough for just about everyone with pets. Every clinic is probably getting the annual my dog has decided the world is ending phone calls.
Speaker: While my own neighborhood was surprisingly lucky, we only heard a handful of fireworks and they were far enough away that I figured we'd escape the chaos. That's how it starts. What do you guys think? No, they weren't far enough away.
Speaker: If you know fireworks are happening in your neighborhood, your pets already know. Yeah. they They got them supersonic ears. They're doing crazy Superman-level hearing, you know?
Speaker: wonder if they can smell it, too. Like, smell gunpowder in advance, so they're getting all worked up. They smell it. They hear it. They can they taste it in the air. They taste it in the air, exactly. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: exactly right. To continue, ah she goes on to say, Johnny, my lovable mutt, however, had other plans. The first firework goes off in the distance.
Speaker: And instead of hiding under the couch, like you would think a dog would, Johnny suddenly decides he's been promoted to head of home security.
Speaker: as is his right. This is Johnny's home too. And you named him a human name. So if you didn't want him to get a job, I don't know why you did that. yeah So Johnny bolts outside, starts sprinting the perimeter of the fence like he's guarding a maximum security prison.
Speaker: Now, put yourself in the mind of Johnny. okay I'm living there. What do you think he's protecting them from? Like in his mind? Rebels. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Rebels. I mean, Dr. M was saying they may be a reincarnated war veteran, so maybe. Oh, right. Yeah. The trenches. Exactly. Just and enemies to our, i don't know, east, west, north, and south. They're all around. You're surrounded. Yeah, get them all in. Yeah. Yeah, what about the enemies from below? These are for the enemies from above.
Speaker: That's true. It's a Sky Force. Could it be an alien invasion production? An alien invasion? Johnny's defending us from Charlie. From Charlie. you hear Charlie, you're not the history sister.
Speaker: I was like, of the chocolate factory variety? What do we talking about? I'll say watch almost any almost any war movie.
Speaker: love any war movie. any nice Any war movie starting after World War II. this yeah ah This is a tough time when I tell everybody I hate war movies.
Speaker: I'm not too rested up about it. It was a common phrase for soldiers in Vietnam. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Cool. Well, we all learned something. Me and everybody else who's listening that also didn't know. All right. Well, let's continue the story. Okay.
Speaker: Okay. So after several laps around the yard, he comes back inside looking exhausted, but not scared. um Apparently defending the family burns a lot of calories.
Speaker: So this dog marches straight to his food bowl, empties it, looks at me and somehow convinces me that one bowl simply is insufficient for a working dog. For context, he'd already walked about two miles earlier that day. So he was operating under the athletic philosophy of carb loading for absolutely no reason. Absolutely.
Speaker: Absolutely. Now here's where I thought the evening was winding down. Nope. What do you think Johnny is going to do next? ah Vomit up the kibble like a machine gun. At the perimeter to, again, defend his home, his nation, his honor.
Speaker: Absolutely. That is 100% going to happen. Also, um maybe Johnny has a secret stash of his own fireworks and he was just using his bravado to hide the fact that he was going to pop off some illegal fireworks when everybody wasn't looking.
Speaker: He wanted to cause a big scene, get the other party shut down. Yeah. So that everyone's waiting for the who's going to do the show next. And then Johnny pops off. Exactly. Johnny Bob's Casting doubt. free dog Yeah, it is. he Well, he's got a very human name, It's true, and he's a reincarnated veteran.
Speaker: Exactly. Exactly. You get it. well johnny suddenly remembers he has bones about one bone many bones his bones and apparently fireworks are a perfect time to relocate every single one of them to a safer safer location johnny's self-soothing so hard give me more food give me more dopamine let me find my bones give me
Speaker: or Or he is a reincarnated soldier and he knows the enemy's coming close and he's got to hide the assets before they arrive. to say It could be one of the two. This just a big old Call of Duty game.
Speaker: Basically, yeah. Jack London's Call of the Duty. So for the next half hour, he's frantically carrying bones from room to room like he's hiding treasure before the pirates arrive.
Speaker: He'd hide one, think about it, decide it wasn't secure enough, pick it back up, and relocate it somewhere else. Finally, the fireworks die down, the house is quiet, and Johnny settles onto the couch.
Speaker: I'm thinking, great, crisis over. What do you think Johnny does next? What would a soldier do? du Diggs or chews out all the stuffing from a couch cushion.
Speaker: Sure. This Johnny, I will say, is a good boy. Re-enlist.
Speaker: One more time. Yeah. home One more tour for J-Dog. One more tour for J-Dog. I don't know. i mean, he's a good boy, so he's not going to escape and like go find the the hooligans in the neighborhood and bring them to justice. ah Maybe he's going Now he's going to go hide under the couch. I don't know.
Speaker: Or fall asleep. Oh, it won't be sleep? This wouldn't be a story if he goes to sleep now. pretends Pretend sleep. It's not that eventful, but it is funny.
Speaker: So instead, he spends the next 20 minutes staring at me with the most judgmental expression I've ever seen while I just watch TV. Giving me that disappointed look that says, really, this is what you chose to watch after the battle we just survived?
Speaker: I've never felt more judged by someone who spent the evening running laps, eating two dinners, and repeatedly hiding the same bone. Apparently he's not just a neighborhood security officer. He's also my entertainment critic. Honestly, fantastic. And if you've ever been the lead on a group project where somebody was really slacking, think we've all felt the way that Johnny felt today.
Speaker: He really did. He helped a whole team with that that night. That's going to come up in family therapy. He's going to be like, and what did you bring to the table? Because you saw what I was doing. You're just going to sit on the couch and watch reality television, Sharon? Wow. Good job. Really protecting the house. I have to do everything.
Speaker: Now, it didn't say what she was watching, but what do you guys think would be the most judgmental for Johnny? i mean, reality, Real Housewives. Yeah, I think that would be Island. Love Island.
Speaker: cat ASMR. well i was I don't know why Beavis and Butthead came to to mind, but I'd be pretty peeved. be really funny, actually. I'd be pretty peeved if I was working a full-time shift and you were just sitting watching old reruns of Beavis and Butthead bringing nothing to the table. What if some of us work more of like a gig economy where if we don't have any work at that given day, we might sit on the couch watching Beavis and Butthead, but we would still we so we would still defend our airspace to to our last breath.
Speaker: prove it you have to prove it I'm not defending anything. Who am I kidding? I guess the owner was just support. guess. Even that. I think just Johnny's looking at him like, we just got through this. You're going watch TV. You should be at the, you got to find your sweetheart. You got to sweep them up in your arms, dip them for a kiss, marry them. Right. You only get, only got one life to live unless you are reincarnated as a dog. And then you have two lives to live unless it's turtles all the way down. And then there's something after the dog, probably a cat after the cat, probably a mouse after the mouse, probably something else, but who knows?
Speaker: Who can say? I'm thankful that that is the the story and the series of events that Johnny went through because I worked a very fateful yeah ER r shift on 4th of July and I no sooner started and was 10 minutes into the movie Independence Day thinking it was going to be a quiet night.
Speaker: When a very sweet panicked boxer came in because he was out in the backyard when the fireworks started and he was so scared that he tried to chew through a chain link fence to escape the yard the yeah. And they like took him off the fence, but it was still stuck in his poor little lippy. And so we had to sedate him and like take the little chain link out of his lips. It was really sad, but he was a really good boy. And you know what?
Speaker: to be fair, he could not hear the fireworks anymore once he was inside the hospital and fast asleep. Sometimes you just need to sleep through it. That's one way. one of the One of the hidden joys and triumphs of an aging dog is if they lose their hearing and fireworks are no longer an issue. ah It's true.
Speaker: Way to look at the silver lining. Oh my gosh, it's great. yeah No more hollering at the doorbell. Storms. Sleeping so good. Sometimes I wish I couldn't hear so I could just sleep, sleep, sleep.
Speaker: I'd trust you use earplugs knowing that you probably wouldn't eat them. ah but Thank you. I appreciate that. i appreciate your faith in me. So much faith of you. Thank you. Well, I have another story.
Speaker: Oh, yes, please. Tell us. This is from a news article. i don't remember where I found it. doesn't matter. I'm not good at keeping sources.
Speaker: It's from the Internet. And that's, yeah you know, a wasteland and a wonderland all in one. I read all news, so I'll probably know just by the writing style. So I'll ill yeah i'll figure it out.
Speaker: I'm holding you to it. so Okay. So we begin. The 4th of July is basically the Super Bowl for veterinary ERs and animal shelters.
Speaker: Webster's Dictionary. I feel like I am giving a speech at a wedding.
Speaker: You expect to see the usual suspects. Terrified pets, dogs that bolted through fences, cats that vanished under beds. The occasional owner insisting he's never done this before. Okay, question for you.
Speaker: What is the last type of dog you'd expect to completely lose its cool because of fireworks? Dead dog.
Speaker: It's a zombie apocalypse situation. soon. No, I mean, that is the least, followed shortly by Def Dog. Yeah. Def Dog.
Speaker: What's like the chillest dog you can think of? Just a real cool guy Tomodor. I can only think of nervous dogs in my mind right now. No chill dogs are coming to mind. They're all, yeah.
Speaker: Every... that Well, I'll tell you what the article thinks you'd pick. Okay. You'd probably pick a police dog.
Speaker: Is it a German Shepherd? Pretty low on that list, right? These dogs are trained to stay calm in chaos, crowds, traffic, loud environments. It's literally their job. Wow. Okay.
Speaker: With that information, yeah. a See an eye dog. for See, my dog is a great choice. right Because if it's if it's a sweet little shepherd or perhaps a Belgian male noir, when they're off duty, they are peeing their pants. are so nervous about every little thing.
Speaker: Real skittish type. How do they know when they're on duty? i don't know. It's weird. ah Well, Jungian. Yeah. Also, if they're wearing the badge or not. I was going to say the badge, like, harness.
Speaker: Yeah. Exactly. you get it. Well, in this story of one handler knew his dog had one very specific weakness. Bullets. Fireworks. Sorry. It's not how long. I don't know why I'm so morose here.
Speaker: So on the fourth, instead of taking any chances, he put his four-year-old black lab... Okay. Into what he thought was an escape-proof kennel at a police training facility.
Speaker: There is no such thing as an escape-proof kennel if an animal is determined. I was just about to ask you, how do you think this dog got out? Because he definitely got out. ah Do you think he whistled until another dog came over with the keys?
Speaker: Do you think two dogs stacked on top of each other if it in a trench coat? Yeah. ah Mission impossible up in the top of the kennel so they didn't see him. They open it up to look for him. Drops down.
Speaker: Next snap. Scramble. I like to imagine he took an extra long dewclaw somebody forgot to trim and he used it to kind of jimmy rig and lock pick it. I also meant to ask you guys, because it is of black lab, does that change...
Speaker: your viewpoint and your mind? ah Yes and no In some ways, less nervous. In other ways, certainly sillier. sir Certainly makes sillier choices. Does it affect our thoughts on that it was surprising that it was bothered by the fireworks or does it change our suspicions of how it escaped?
Speaker: How it escaped. How it escaped. Oh, ballet. Yeah, blockhead just sho... I'm imagining a classic wire type kennel, and now I think it's just big blockhead just shoves it through, bends the bars.
Speaker: yeah Yeah, or like maybe he, kapow, kapow, like kicks all four legs out, and then it's like a turtle shell, and he just like, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And escapes that way.
Speaker: Like a lava, laba yaga. Yeah, that's right. Lava Yaga.
Speaker: That's 100% right. You know how they can just spider their arms out? So, Dr. G, and you really nailed it. Buckhead. You said you would.
Speaker: he I'm 100 out 100 right now. He bent the metal latch holding the kennel shut, let himself out, then somehow cleared a six foot fence like he'd suddenly qualified for the Canine Olympics.
Speaker: I feel like you pictured it. Exactly. Yeah, I... He's so scared. So scared. Poor sweet baby. Like, don't just put him in a kennel by himself. He's gonna be so spooky scared. Why don't you sit with him? Aw, white noise machine. I'm sorry. They're saving lives. So they probably have other stuff to do. I don't know.
Speaker: But I can tell you. That at that point, you've got to imagine the handler was thinking, great, I've lost a highly trained police dog on the busiest firework night of the year. Especially since he's afraid of them.
Speaker: Yeah. Thankfully, the search didn't last long. The next morning, they found him. That sounds long. That sounds very long. no and all night All nighter?
Speaker: ah Not miles away, solving crimes or sniffing out contraband. So where do you think they found him? It's not that exciting. Back in the kennel once the fireworks stopped.
Speaker: but
Speaker: Latch restored. Yeah, with a little IOU. Like it never happened. yeah I think that's perfect. And or just on the front stoop, just being like, hi, where were you guys? I was really spooked.
Speaker: We should talk about last night. Yeah. While he was curled up not far from the training facility, completely exhausted, like he'd spent the entire night running from every firework in the county.
Speaker: Because I think he did. Oh. Poor baby. Did we get a name of this little worker now? No. Let's name him.
Speaker: Officer... Pickles. Pickles. Officer Pickles. Officer Pickles. I'm in. Yeah. Well, to finish this story, turns out even a highly trained drug-sniffing police dog still has one kryptonite, the neighborhood kid who bought way too many Roman candles. Now...
Speaker: Do you see a world in which Officer Pickles teams up with Johnny and then they're an unstoppable duo? I think maybe. It's like when they can't breed cheetahs in captivity, so they give them like an emotional support dog. I feel like Johnny would really bring the the the courage out of Officer Pickles' cowardly dog. And they would probably, they'd probably land somewhere in the middle. They were the dream team.
Speaker: Yeah, I would hope that, like, Pickle's less nervous. Johnny, like, able to maybe, like, take a step back from all of his hard work. Maybe they could watch Beavis and Butthead together in peace. Yeah, it's like when they pull in a plucky new investigator into and a police work. Maybe they're a mentalist. Maybe they are... a psychic? Maybe they're a psychic. Maybe they're a Johnny. Yeah. Are you also thinking of psych?
Speaker: Of course. Yeah. always and forever it was a fun one it was a fun one um i think they'd be a great duo that's why i kind of put these two stories together i've i felt like they need to meet i mean yeah i'd you know i'd try to make it happen in whatever capacity i can johnny the streetwise mutt an officer pickles the black lab drug sniffing police dog If anyone out there listening knows Officer Pickles or Johnny, please share contact info. and we'll Yeah, we'll get it i'll share it with them.
Speaker: Yeah, we'll do whatever we can. Livestream the whole thing. needs to be like a comic book. Officer Pickles and Johnny. I love it. I think it should absolutely be that.
Speaker: Or is it Johnny and Officer Pickles? Is Johnny this the hero?
Speaker: Johnny is would would allow Officer Pickles to take the lead in in naming. He did earn the title. He's done the work. So I feel like Johnny is like, you know, he's coming in clutch at the end. oh He'll let the officer take the front end.
Speaker: Officer Pickles featuring Johnny? No, Officer Pickles and Johnny. They're equal. ok yeah They're a ragtag duo of superheroes.
Speaker: yeah yeah exactly Poor babies. They're just little guys. I just want them to snuggle up and take a little nap, you know? It's going be okay.
Speaker: Well, I hope everyone's Fourth of July, every dog out there's Fourth of July is more like Johnny's than Officer Pickles. I hope everybody has a happy and safe Fourth of July. we just spilled the kibble.
Speaker: you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again? Happy 4th. Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker: Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team. And a special thank you to our story submitters.
Speaker: Do you have a story you want to share? Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story. Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.
