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The 3 Key Business Mindset & Action Shifts For Greater Success
54 Plays2 months ago
Join us to discover:
How to create space for exploring possibilities in your relationships
Tips for building your flexibility and resilience muscles
Ways to turn frustrations and limitations into catalysts for growth
Originally from New York, RaRa was born in Brooklyn and began her entrepreneurial journey on Long Island, where she developed a passion for real estate, human behavior, and business development. From an early age, she knew she was meant to build something bigger than herself—not just businesses, but relationships and opportunities for others to grow.
Now living in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, with her husband, RaRa continues to lead and mentor with the same passion she’s carried throughout her career. As the sole proprietor of THE BRIDGE Empowers and co-founder of Xperience Connection, The BU Network, and Gratitude Girls, she has built platforms that foster growth, collaboration, and transformation. She is also the co-author of the Gratitude Girls Journal, a guide to practicing gratitude and strengthening relationships.
A Verity member and long-time advocate for personal and professional development, RaRa believes that success isn’t just about achieving goals—it’s about the people we meet along the way, the structures we build to support our dreams, and the courage to take action when opportunities arise.
Connect with RaRa:
🌟 Website & Socials: bio.link/rara
🌉 THE BRIDGE Empowers: thebridgeempowers.com
🤝 The BU Network: b-u.network
💖 Gratitude Girls & Journal: gratitudegirls.com
🔗 Xperience Connection: xperienceconnection.com
💌 Send Out Cards: RaRaCards.com
Learn more about how Robbie Spier Miller can help you build your business and personal success here:
https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com
https://www.mindlinkconsulting.com
Social Media Handles:
@hypnosistrainingcanada
@robbiespiermiller
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Habit of Possibility'
00:00:00
Speaker
It's the things that we want to put away, not look at. Maybe they're not so pretty or even sexy. Yet if we pay attention to it and we start to see the results as small as it might be, we will actually start to feel more confident that we can do it.
00:00:16
Speaker
Welcome to the Habit of Possibility podcast, the show about turning obstacles into opportunities.
Meet Robbie Spear-Miller and Episode Theme
00:00:23
Speaker
I'm your host, Robbie Spear-Miller. Today on the show, we're talking about how to cultivate a mindset of curiosity, openness, and connectedness to help you get your goals.
00:00:34
Speaker
Our special guest is Rara, a visionary entrepreneur, mentor, and relationship builder who believes in the power of deep connections and taking bold action.
Guest Introduction: Rara
00:00:45
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Today I'm here with my very good friend, Catherine Rara Sara Myers.
00:00:51
Speaker
And I'm really excited for her to share with you how she handles people and being of service. And she's been a realtor and been in lots of different types of roles in her life and really has seen her role in those different areas as one of service to people.
00:01:10
Speaker
um in a very confident and flexible way. So I really would like everybody today to learn how we can move through challenges, whether it's related to sales or anything else, in a way that's really resourceful and connected with people.
00:01:25
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And Rara really personifies that. She's really excellent at that. So welcome, Rara.
Rara on Resilience as a Muscle
00:01:32
Speaker
Thank you. Thanks, Robbie. It's really great to be here. Did you want me to start with something specific or did you want me to tell you a little bit of resilience, a story about resilience? Yeah, let's start with a story. Like where did you, were you born with the way you are? Did you have experiences that helped you see the way that you interact with people, like the usefulness of it How did that come to be?
00:01:56
Speaker
Right. So yes, I was born this way. And there's a great song by Lady Gaga that just relates to me and how I feel. Resilience to me is, it's a muscle.
00:02:07
Speaker
So, you know, I like yoga and I really practice yin and Pilates. Think about your body. And think about your hip flexor muscle. You know where that is, right? okay It's right down there.
00:02:18
Speaker
So this very little muscle is something that we can work on and we could exercise it. Sometimes this little muscle gives us a lot of discomfort. And if we don't exercise it, it actually could give us some pain.
00:02:32
Speaker
So we do need resilience in order to... persevere to go through that. So recently I decided over the last two years that I was going to build some of these small muscles.
00:02:43
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But I was born this way. I was born looking at the things that I believe really need to serve us as an entity. And it's the small things that we might overlook that might actually cause us pain that we wish to overlook because they can get hidden somewhere that create a strength and a backbone of who we are and what we do.
00:03:07
Speaker
So when developing this hip flexor muscle, I'm really happy to tell you I've got it. I can feel it. I can see it. You know, when you see those bodies, not that this is exactly what I have, but where you see those indentations where those muscles are.
00:03:21
Speaker
Well, it started. And I know that through diligence and a great mindset that I will build this muscle to keep the backbone and the foundation of my body very strong.
The Role of Resilience in Business
00:03:36
Speaker
Resilience in sales and business. It's the things that we want to put away, put in the back, not look at. Maybe they're not so pretty or even sexy or interesting.
00:03:47
Speaker
We just want to leave it somewhere. Yet if we pay attention to it, and we start to see the results as small as it might be, as big as the effect and the impact is, if we stick with it, we will actually start to feel more confident that we can do it.
00:04:06
Speaker
So patience and being willing to keep developing it over time is really helpful. Yeah, staying connected to the reason that that's even important. Who cares about a hip flexor?
00:04:17
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Well, when you understand what it does for the body, you do. You care about it. you realize it's important. Some people say, I don't like talking to people, but yet I'm going to build a business.
00:04:29
Speaker
Well, there's a bit of a disconnect
Achieving Personal Growth through Interaction
00:04:30
Speaker
there. That's a hip flexor that's not going to be developed and that body may be hunched. So if you are looking at the overall picture, broad stroke, we talk about this all the time,
00:04:42
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We know that there are segments, portions, modules, phases that we need to strengthen in order to have the body that works or a sales force or a sales strategy.
00:04:56
Speaker
Yeah, and everybody needs to start wherever they are. For example, when I started my business, I was very shy and quiet. And I'd been home with the baby for a year and a half by myself.
00:05:07
Speaker
And so i i chose to go out and start connecting with people to build my business. And it was not easy, but I knew I had to do it. And as I did it, i got better and better at it.
00:05:18
Speaker
So that was definitely something i was not born with. um And i I help a lot of people build businesses who are more like me that way, where they're not used to doing that sort of thing. um So it is something you can develop even if you haven't.
00:05:33
Speaker
been living that way in the past. Yes, great point. Yeah. One thing, robert well, I appreciate many things about you, but one of the things that is awesome is that you're really in life seeing opportunities and you don't have a neediness in you.
00:05:49
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You really genuinely look at life in terms of service and noticing what other people need and being willing to fill that need or a not, but there's no neediness around it.
00:06:02
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And there's a lot of ah freedom for the people around you to be who they are. And yet you're still very loving and caring. and And I think that's a very unusual quality in people, at least in terms of people I've come across.
00:06:15
Speaker
um But it sure helps a lot in relation to relationships and sales because you're you're just purely curious about what you can do for other people. And you're willing to pursue something and and you're really good at that.
00:06:30
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Or you're willing to let something go. And there's there's a lot of flexibility and openness around that.
Flexibility vs. Closed-mindedness in Relationships
00:06:38
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Yes. So the question that I hear and what you're saying, and thank you for that.
00:06:41
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Again, we'll look at the body. If we're stiff, if we're not feeling great, we're probably going to approach something the very same way. If we're talking to people as we do in our careers for enjoyment and pleasure, if we're stiff, if we're rigid, if we're strongly opinionated and closed-minded, not saying there's anything wrong with any of those positionings, but if that's how we are, we might be alone in a room.
00:07:08
Speaker
We might not have everyone gathering around us. Imagine walking into a room with a tray of warm vegan cookies and everyone goes, what's that?
00:07:19
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And you go to look at it and you might be curious about it. But if you walk into a room without that curiosity, with a position of, I know it all and this is what I absolutely feel I stand for, nothing wrong with that either.
00:07:35
Speaker
One might be attracting and one other approach might be taking a stance. And sometimes we're taking a stance when there's nobody around and we're taking the energy and really all we have to do is enjoy the fresh air or enjoy the beauty around us and save that energy for when it's important, when it's necessary.
00:07:56
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You don't have to flex that muscle all the time. So in terms of giving open space, I like advertising for that reason. You buy air time.
00:08:07
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I think it's brilliant. You pay for air. Who thought of that? It's amazing. You pay for time, as this would be air time, to have an opportunity to speak one's opinion with a clear, direct
The Power of Conversation in Connection
00:08:24
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sales message. This is a conversation.
00:08:26
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But if this were $1,000 minute, advertisement, we would say something clear and succinct. We're selling a conversation right now, right? Basically, an easy conversation between the two of us.
00:08:40
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So when we talk about people being themselves and giving the freedom, allowing that, that comes from within, from who we are. And if we can be that way or learn to be that way, we might attract more. What's that saying? You attract more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. We might attract more.
00:09:00
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so is there a time that your you felt your resilience was challenged or where you feel like you kind of cut your teeth on a certain experience to become more resilient this way?
00:09:13
Speaker
Yes, I think every time we come up to something in our life that challenges us just makes us stronger. i believe if everything were sugar-coated with icing in a cherry or learning curve would be a lot different.
00:09:29
Speaker
So I have a high curiosity in my natural fact finding in my, you know, I believe in Colby, right? So what happens for me is I walk in the room with a question. That's how I think.
00:09:42
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I collect facts and details. So the questions that I might have in my mind, they might bring me to stream, an ocean, or a brick wall. It just may not lead me somewhere. And those are the moments where the learning really occurs.
00:09:57
Speaker
How to navigate. you ever see somebody standing still and you wonder, why aren't you moving? Or why don't you do that? Because you see it differently than they do. Or you see someone and you say, why why are you doing that?
00:10:10
Speaker
We feel what we feel in our bodies, in our mind, what's right. So when I've come across things that have stopped me or caused me to pause and think, I know that that's the moment that I'm going to grow.
00:10:24
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And I actually look for that. You know, I was in network marketing 15 years ago, and I still build that business. There's an expression, go for the no. You go for the moment that gives you that opportunity to grow and understand why is that no and not now. And you move,
Obstacles as Growth Opportunities
00:10:43
Speaker
I would say, above it or move with it.
00:10:45
Speaker
So you're not, you're you're curious and you want to learn. You're not feeling like it's a judgment of you or and where you're not feeling like it it it impacts you and in a significant way.
00:10:59
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You're just playing with that. Right. I don't think it's a reflection of my ability or inability. I believe that I'm a conduit for that to understand. It's usually with a human, right? I'm not necessarily dealing with a brick wall.
00:11:12
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So if there's something that we can agree to see differently, that's a growth. You know, how many times have we gone maybe... we as people and together somewhere for dinner and looked at the menu to see if they have what we want.
00:11:26
Speaker
And if they don't we try every which way to see if they could create something so that we could have a good experience. And that's how I like to approach life. How can we create a good experience?
00:11:38
Speaker
Sometimes they're higher level than they are others. Sometimes they're very quiet because I by nature am an introvert. Which most people would never know. Yes, you're right. I'm a loud introvert, if that makes any sense.
00:11:54
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know Yeah. So was there a time in your life where you felt like you hit a brick wall and you weren't sure you could get around it? Did you have some kind of experience like that? Yes, I remember when I was 13, I was sort of thinking in my head, should I go to something a little bit more current?
00:12:11
Speaker
But at 13, I remember feeling that I wanted to go into the work field and I wanted to work with people. So I connected with social workers and people that were helping the students in the school.
00:12:23
Speaker
I stayed very connected to the outsourced community. not the teachers and the principals and the guidance counselors, the outsourced people that came in to deal with the troubled kids, actually.
00:12:34
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i was curious, what was it like? So I was told that I wasn't really able to be in that group because I wasn't one of the troubled kids. So I said, well, how can I? How can I learn?
00:12:44
Speaker
So I approached those social workers and said, can I learn from you? I know I'm Not in your classroom. I know I haven't disrupted anyone. I don't intend to. But how can I learn to be the person that creates solutions? And at 13, I made that decision and I got great experience from it.
00:13:02
Speaker
wow Yeah, and I've seen you connect with people or be in new situations. And your first question is always, how does this work? And you're very curious about that. And and before you know, there's nothing else to do, because the first thing you need to find out is what's possible here.
00:13:21
Speaker
and And I think that's a really useful state of mind to be in when you're getting to new people or trying to help them, or if you are selling something, they don't really care about it until you can connect what they need to what you're offering.
00:13:36
Speaker
And isn't it possible that what we have would not be right for someone and maybe we just don't feel a connection to them? So we might have something, you know, I love your mala, but what I say to you, can I buy it from you?
00:13:51
Speaker
It's yours, it belongs to you, i can like it, and I don't have to believe that everything belongs to me or everything is possible for me. i I like to have this connection of respect I think when you feel respect in a mutual situation, there are many more possibilities than when you feel someone pushing and getting in your space and perhaps losing that line.
00:14:19
Speaker
We might call it a boundary where where is the line in the sand? Yes, yeah. And then people feel freer to really be be real. um They might not know how to do that without having that openness that you're giving them.
00:14:34
Speaker
Because sometimes people are in situations in their lives or relationships where they don't have that opportunity. So it's wonderful to be in a situation where they do. Madonna had a wardrobe missfunction malfunction?
00:14:48
Speaker
is Now now we have all kinds of images in our minds. Okay. When those things happen, and it might have happened to you, you or you or me, and when it does, it's something we need to take care of.
00:14:59
Speaker
Know how to navigate something if it goes wrong. What if the mic drops? What if the light goes out? The show must go on. So observe.
00:15:11
Speaker
Use your eyes, your ears, touch, have a plan. The idea of winging it, some people like, I hear that a lot. I would recommend that if you choose to use that, use that with the visual image.
00:15:27
Speaker
Like call it the wing it plan, but have a plan and call it the wing it plan if that resonates with you. But to walk into a room cold and not have experience, even if you are seasoned entertainer, there's still someone who would be maybe in your zone or in your team.
00:15:46
Speaker
to check things. So use all your senses and listen to your to your gut. A specific external tool, I would say, to take your phone, hit record, listen to yourself, watch yourself.
00:15:59
Speaker
Nine times out of ten people don't like the way they sound, they don't like the way they look, but do that. hear what you sound like and the confidence will come from the repetition.
00:16:10
Speaker
So if you do it the first time and then the tenth time and you say it's not so bad, then that's because you listened to it ten times and you might have actually lightened up on your critique or your criticism, self-criticism.
00:16:23
Speaker
So the more we get comfortable with something, the easier it would be. I think it's interesting to consider that there are people who they they don't feel comfortable with things because they have a fear around it that can drop away.
00:16:39
Speaker
It might be a fear that came from another time in their life or a story they made up about themselves. or a flexibility or a muscle they haven't built up. And so sometimes that's where we feel discomfort. and So a lot of the work we do here is to help people discover they can do things they didn't realize they could do, even if it is uncomfortable at the beginning.
Fear vs. Intuition: Embrace Fear for Growth
00:17:00
Speaker
So I think an important distinction that might help some people is the difference between fear and intuition, or fear and knowing yourself. And that yourself can be very flexible.
00:17:12
Speaker
And sometimes what keeps us from becoming flexible is fear. So, Rara, you don't really have a lot of fear. So maybe it's harder for you to relate to this because you're very bold and you just go and do things and you know you're okay.
00:17:29
Speaker
It's a wonderful quality. um Many, many people don't know how to do that. And so I think that being aware fear that fear might be the thing that's happening, but that people interpret it as who they are or their intuition or what feels right or wrong.
00:17:47
Speaker
Knowing there's a distinction there matters. And also, you gotta want to do it. I mean, obviously, if you don't want to become more flexible or learn something, then Don't do it. um But yeah I know for me when I started my business, it was a calling.
00:18:02
Speaker
And i would be disappointed in myself if I didn't do it. And so i I was willing to push myself to have experiences that were genuinely uncomfortable. and that didn't fit with my values at the time.
00:18:15
Speaker
and But ah through that, I realized that my values at the time weren't actually useful. i did i I came to a place where I didn't agree with them anymore.
00:18:26
Speaker
So i think it's very interesting to see the the contrast in how we look at things this way. And what I love about what you just said is knowing that someone is a fact finder and knowing that someone is a high follow-through knowing that someone is an implementer. Do you ever watch people pick things up and fix them?
00:18:43
Speaker
do you ever watch people ask questions and wonder why is that important? Or watch someone go into action? As you know your strength in a situation that might be new, think of a fear, starting a new business.
00:18:59
Speaker
Once you're in that business, there might be another fear to be in front of a camera because there's a business and then there are aspects of that business. and Speaking to a customer or client, having someone say no.
00:19:10
Speaker
Having someone say the truth about what they received and it not being what you want to hear. Those are things that we're sort of not prepared for as a new business owner. But it never gets old because you always want a good review, right? You always want someone to say something nice. It doesn't matter how long you're in business. I'm in business over four decades.
00:19:29
Speaker
I really don't want to hear that someone's not happy yet. I want to hear why. Right, so you're curious about the why yeah and where can that take you next. And I think that that is a very useful thing to model. if If all of us could stay in that curiosity and look at it just kind of like tinkering with something, and I mean that in the most respectful way, but to have our awareness on other people and what's actually happening and then be willing to just stay in that curiosity and interact with that.
00:20:02
Speaker
is where that all of the magic comes. I agree. I'll tell you a quick short story. Once upon a time I used to sit in front of technology and it used to completely blow up.
00:20:14
Speaker
I could sit in front of a computer and it would stop working. I would have an idea, I would work on something for three hours and it would get lost. 30 years ago, ah used to say, I cannot believe that technology is not my friend.
00:20:29
Speaker
And then I stopped saying that. I stopped saying what was happening and labeling it. And I started to look at it and say, i am so complexed in my thinking.
00:20:40
Speaker
I need to sit with it a little bit longer and pay a little bit more attention, not be so short and quick and want that response. And I started to realize that I was a geek.
00:20:52
Speaker
I was really technically curious about things. I didn't have patience before, so I used to label it as technology blows up. And that's what it did.
00:21:03
Speaker
So the story that I want to share is when I would blow up computers, like we used to have desktops, you know, with the CPUs, remember that? I was blowing up those kinds of computers. Who knew, who thought that at this moment I would sit in the production studio that I sit in now and the things that I do before we go live as a hobby, as an interest.
00:21:24
Speaker
So if there's something that goes on in your life and you start labeling it, Think about that. Watch the words that you use because you label yourself. You know, I never get a parking spot. I always get a parking spot.
00:21:37
Speaker
I'm not good with people. I'm not good in front of a camera. I invite you to think about what you're genuinely interested in and then label it or reframe it.
Reframing Struggles with Technology
00:21:46
Speaker
Speak to Robbie, speak to me and call it something else where it gives you growth and expansion.
00:21:52
Speaker
And then you won't have a funny story like me saying I used to blow up technology and now I sit around it all the time. And it's true. If you saw how Rara set up all the lights and the sound for this podcast, it's impressive. You are a geek.
00:22:06
Speaker
I speak geek. You do. Great. All right. Thank you. All right. Well, thank you. These were really great insights and and really fun stories to share. And so hopefully this will inspire people to go beyond what you thought you could do before.
00:22:23
Speaker
and stay curious and connected with the world around you in a way that will help you get to a new place where more is possible for you. Thank you. And I love what you said, embrace the things that might scare us and and walk and work with it. So you're a great example of that. Thank you for inviting me today, Robbie. Thanks for coming.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:22:42
Speaker
Ciao. You can connect with Rara at www.thebridgeandpowers.com and check the show notes for lots of other connection opportunities.
00:22:54
Speaker
Let us know what you think of the show. Reach out to us at mindlinkconsulting.com. And if you like the show, please rate and review us so other people can find us too.
00:23:05
Speaker
Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Robbie Spearmiller, the host of the Habit of Possibility podcast. Tune in next time to learn more about how you can turn obstacles into opportunities and make the most of your life and career.
00:23:19
Speaker
If you're interested in learning more about personal and business coaching, consulting and training opportunities, go to mindlinkconsulting.com and schedule your free consultation.