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Ep. 47: How To Appreciate & Connect With People For More Fun & Success
441 Plays2 years ago
There are some people who can easily connect with and appreciate others as a way of life. If you are wishing you were better at this, or wondering how you can sync up with people in a more powerful way, hypnosis can help.
In this episode you will learn:
- How hypnosis can help you grow through any fears or limitations you may have around powerfully and joyful appreciating people.
- The secrets of people who are excellent rainmakers for others.
- Tips for creating memorable and valuable experiences with people.
Kathryn “RaRa” Asaro Mayers is the CEO and founder of THE BRIDGE. She helps people monetize concepts & ideas into insanely profitable deliverables.
You can connect with RaRa on social media and online: https://linktr.ee/kathrynraraasaromayers Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kathryn.asaro.77/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/Kat_Tea Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathryn.asaro.77/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathryn-rara-asaro-mayers/ TiK Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebridgerara
Discover more about how hypnosis can help you build better relationships with others at https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com.
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Transcript
Surfing Metaphor for Synchronization
00:00:00
Speaker
But if we're surfing, we're gonna catch a wave. You might be on your own surfboard, I'll be on mine, but we can do that together. And we'll synchronize. You ever watch synchronized swimming? Like, how do you do that? You tune in to the other and to yourself.
Hypnosis for Overcoming Fears
00:00:16
Speaker
You can find out more about how hypnosis can help you grow through any fears or limitations by visiting our website at hypnosistrainingcanada.com. Here you will find some free resources and opportunities to learn more about how hypnosis can help you.
Introduction to Rara's Expertise
00:00:33
Speaker
Today, I'm really looking forward to the conversation we're going to have here with Rara, who is an awesome appreciator of people and a connector with people. And I really love this topic for our audience because so many people have challenges in their relationships or with their confidence or related to business or work that are about relationships with people.
00:01:01
Speaker
And if people can learn that this one skill that Rara is so awesome at, it will make a huge difference to their lives.
Hypnosis & NLP for Connection
00:01:09
Speaker
Now, when we do hypnosis and NLP training, we teach a lot of these skills of connecting with people. Today, what we're going to do is we're going to model somebody who's a total expert and awesome at this in the real world so that you can step into and fantasize your way through imagining what is it like to be in the world this way.
00:01:30
Speaker
So Rara, why don't you start by sharing with people how you got really good at this. Like, were you born this way? Was your family like this? Is it something that you learned over time? Like, what made you become a great appreciator of people?
Mirroring Energy in Conversations
00:01:48
Speaker
Robbie, thanks for that. The first lesson I would like to experience with you is to breathe with you. I'd like to pick up your rhythm.
00:01:59
Speaker
I'd like to mirror your energy so that as we speak, we could do this with others because you have such a calming effect. It makes sense to match level up how I'm speaking with you to your energy level. When a bull walks into a China shop, you sort of sit on the edge of a chair.
Authentic Connection Through Interest
00:02:25
Speaker
sometimes it's good for effect. But in terms of, I'll answer your question, I was born this way. I refer to it as chameleon-like, which means that I truly want to be heart to heart with the person that I'm in front of, or I'm not in front of them, right? Like there's no reason to be there. And in order to do that, to feel that,
00:02:52
Speaker
If
Self-Tuning for Better Connections
00:02:53
Speaker
we breathe, sort of self-hypnosis technique to feel where I'm at with you, then when I'm communicating with you or appreciating you, you're going to feel me. That's going to put us on a similar same plane.
00:03:14
Speaker
Maybe not exactly, but if we're surfing, we're gonna catch a wave. You might be on your own surfboard, I'll be on mine, but we can do that together. And we'll synchronize. Do you ever watch synchronized swimming? Like, how do you do that? You tune in.
00:03:28
Speaker
To the other and to yourself, to be very self-aware is a great tip on how to appreciate others.
Emotional Awareness in Communication
00:03:36
Speaker
Know where you're at in your head, in your spirit, in your space. Do you ever watch someone fall off a chair? Like, how did you do that? Like, don't fall off the chair when you're communicating with someone emotionally. Don't accidentally
00:03:51
Speaker
not pay attention to yourself for me to pay attention to you i need to know where i am i need to know where the boundary is of the room of the air of your space so that i don't accidentally as i am appreciating you not your phone on the floor but would not just put cold water on
Unique Family Role & Communication Style
00:04:12
Speaker
it.
00:04:12
Speaker
So i believe i was born this way with my family like that i don't think so i don't think they were exactly like that. Strick sicilian family from new york appreciated what they needed to appreciate but it was a little bit different for them i was sort of the icebreaker if you know what i mean.
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah, awesome. Good. And so share with people more about, so you start with matching the person's breath and you check in with yourself. And I'd like to clarify that what you're meaning by that is that you know where you might be a little off that day or you know if you need to settle yourself down or get clear about what the focus is from your point of view.
00:04:58
Speaker
and not freeze you up to be with the person, which is very different from being self-conscious. So sometimes people are worried about themselves or how they appear to others, which is not at all what you're referring to here. Right. A great life example is what just happened to us prior to going live. We experienced something together. We moved together. Technology. We had an experience, that experience,
00:05:27
Speaker
We matched, we moved, we flowed, we grooved to get here right now. That's an experience. That's appreciating someone. It's appreciating by going through a process, a journey, and let someone lead. A leader doesn't have to lead. A leader creates leaders. A leader doesn't have to say, follow me. A leader allows the experience to rise.
00:05:57
Speaker
so that we have something together that is memorable. Yeah, awesome. And so when you're with people and you're appreciating them, let's say that you have a goal. Maybe the goal is to build a closer connection with them. Maybe the goal is to see, hey, is there something that you can experience together that would be something you would value?
00:06:24
Speaker
So you're coordinating or integrating how you're connected with people to what you want as well, right? Like you have certain outcomes in your life, certain ways that you want to focus. And I know a lot of that is about appreciating other people in order to give to them. And at the same time, you dovetail that with what you want. That's a lot of what you're doing. But I'm curious about how do you process that? How do you look at that?
00:06:55
Speaker
Another fantastic question. I'd like to use a live example when we met.
00:07:03
Speaker
We don't know when we meet someone exactly what's going to happen. We don't have this written agenda like I'm going to meet you and then I'm going to get on a plane with you and then we're going to do this event together and then we're going to be each other's client and then we're going to give each other referrals and then we're going to live happily ever after. That's not the agenda. For me, the agenda is no agenda. Walk in and just be with it. Never go to an art gallery.
00:07:26
Speaker
Sometimes you just have to look at the art, even if you know you love it and you might even hang it or not hang it or stand it. So to me, people are art. I appreciate the person for who they are, what they have to offer. I don't think do they fit in to where I am in my world. I think how could we have an experience together? We met, we found common ground instantly by sharing the same birthday.
00:07:58
Speaker
I didn't wake up and say, gee, I really hope I meet someone who has the same birthday as me today. No agenda. So when we walk into a room, when we walk into a space energetically and we have confidence,
00:08:13
Speaker
It's really important to have confidence in ourself and to have self-awareness that we're walking into a room to have a good time, to enjoy the moment. Otherwise, even when I walk into the bathroom or the dining room or the living room, I go there to fix myself up. I want to have a good time. I want to enjoy what I'm doing. I don't want to think, oh, I'm in a hurry. I enjoy my moments with myself, the bird that is on the branch while I'm putting on my makeup, staring at me. I enjoy every moment. And when I'm with a human,
00:08:43
Speaker
or a dog or a cat. I want to enjoy that moment because it is my 24 hours. So what's in it for me is that I have an experience that keeps my vibration rising. And for you, hopefully it will be catching the wave for you so that that raises your vibration. My real goal is that when I and you walk out of the room, when we walk out of the room together, our subconscious says, let me go back.
00:09:15
Speaker
That was fantastic. That's how I look at having an experience with someone. So in order to achieve that, it's really all about being aware of what you're doing, your body movements, being self.
00:09:34
Speaker
service above self, not thinking about myself first. And that's an exercise because I think a lot of people are thinking about themselves first. And that's okay. When we're a baby, we're born with, give me a bottle, give me this, pick me up, I'm crying. We're born with calling.
00:09:55
Speaker
I would like to convert and translate that calling to giving. Like, I will give you me to hug because I need a hug. I will give you me to feed because I'm hungry as opposed to feed me, hug me, give me.
00:10:11
Speaker
So you're looking for that it's catching that wave together. So a big part of what you're describing is that you really trust that there are lots of waves out there and it's actually an adventure for you to discover what wave are you going to catch today. Exactly. I met my husband completely unexpectedly. I won't go through that entire story, but my life has been
00:10:35
Speaker
blessed by the people that are in it. And sometimes it was a nanosecond, a hummingbird is what brought my husband and I together at Club Med. We find ways to attract in abundance. I'm very attached to my I Am statements. I am creating my I Am statements, my bridge board, as people would call a vision board.
00:10:59
Speaker
I write down the outcome. I am outcome oriented, a great day, a beautiful feeling. I am loved, I'm enough. I'm happy, I'm giving, I'm appreciated. In order to feel that, I need to walk in with a mindset. So when I wake up,
00:11:20
Speaker
I wake up because I have programmed myself when I'm sleeping to be in gratitude by writing my gratitude, my right five things I'm grateful for in detail.
00:11:33
Speaker
I'm grateful for Robbie. I'm grateful for Robbie because Robbie invited me to. And when I write everything I'm grateful for, I go into it. And when I go to sleep, I am meditating on that. And when I wake up, I take a look at what I wrote and I'm in gratitude. I'm in the state. I can keep myself in that lovely trance of gratitude, as you know.
00:11:58
Speaker
So in the world, you're feeling really safe. You don't feel needy for anything. You know that you'll get what you need somehow. I'm a risk taker and I know that by taking risks, I will be able to move. Right.
00:12:12
Speaker
Yeah. And a lot of people are really too focused on security or following certain rules or fitting in or wondering if they're okay. So their awareness is really focused there, which takes them away from people. And they may genuinely care about people, yet there's this neediness in them that's keeping them separate.
00:12:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's like just getting to the dock and the boat just took off. You're like, I just missed the boat because you were focusing on something else. If you feel like you've missed out, think about where your head is at. Maybe that's the key. It's not about traffic. It's not you've missed out because the focus maybe the breath, the movement, you go to go to the beach. When you go to the beach, you watch the water come in and you watch the water go out. When you're standing in the sand, it actually feels
00:13:03
Speaker
Like it's drawing you out, you know that feeling you've done it when you were a kid and as an adult and your feet are in the sand and they go a little bit deeper and the water comes in and the water goes out and your feet go a little deeper and you feel like you're moving a little bit. You get this sort of mesmerized feeling like, am I moving? What's happening? So when you go with that, when you be with that, it feels really good. If you start to worry, am I moving? What's happening? Where are my feet going? You're missing the moment.
00:13:31
Speaker
So to be in the moment gives us a true essence of where we're at and to trust the moment, trust ourselves, our gut instincts, find your superpower, find where it is, touch it, hold it, embrace it, and give it away. Yeah.
00:13:53
Speaker
Awesome. I love it. Yeah. So, you know, as you're sharing this, it makes me remember when I was first learning hypnosis and taking classes myself at the time I was living in a house in Toronto, which was not a good place for us for all kinds of complicated reasons. I won't get into, but we had to move. And at the time I was home with a baby and we didn't have a lot of money and the market was going up and up.
00:14:20
Speaker
And so in the class, we were doing this exercise where we were getting very, very clear about something we wanted. So I chose a house. Some people chose a relationship or a car, a job, or whatever. And so I described in this exercise what I wanted in a house. And the class was over. I put it away. And the year that we
00:14:43
Speaker
the day we closed on our house in Burlington happened to be a reunion of this class a year later. And so when I got to the reunion, the woman who did this exercise with me said to me, did you get everything you wanted in a house? And I had completely forgotten. I even did that exercise. So I took out my binder and I found the piece of paper and I looked at the list and I did. I had every single thing I had on that list. You see, that's how it works. Can I share a quick story?
00:15:13
Speaker
On March 17th, I think it was 2020, we were announced lockdown. I had 17 women coming to my house for what was called the Rara Real Deal Dinner. You know, I'd like to do these things, you know that. So 17 cars had to be parked at our building. We didn't know what that meant when it was announced we're in lockdown. So I wasn't canceling our dinner. I didn't understand it. Maybe I was breaking a rule. I'm a risk taker. It was a potluck dinner, which I had never had.
00:15:42
Speaker
So now we had people coming with food. What am I going to say? So everybody came in and we sat down and we were all sort of like, what does this mean? Are we not supposed to be here? Are we here? It's OK. Are we going to be in trouble? And we started to have dinner and we shared. And then we had a great experience with a friend of mine who brought this cookie and asked us to close our eyes. And she put this cookie in our mouth and she did this amazing, amazing exercise.
00:16:11
Speaker
It was just wonderful. It set the tone. So we were relaxed. Melissa made a magic cookie. We call her Magic Melissa. And then I asked everyone to create a statement, like make an intention. And my intention was I am joining Verity. And everyone said, what's a Verity? There was no how to. So it was March of 2020. We were in a state of,
00:16:41
Speaker
lockdown, whatever we would call that, I guess it was. So I declared that. I didn't write out how to, I knew what I wanted, just like you're talking about your house. And then August of last year, I became a member. So when you're clear on your intentions,
00:17:01
Speaker
You don't have to know the how-to. You do not have to know how to get to California or New York. We just have to know we're going to go. We just can't do it at the same time. When you're clear on your intentions, the universe hears you. I like to use the expression, when you're creating your intention, imagine it's a call to the universe, like, hi, universe. Here I am. And if I say, well, gee, I'm not going to get a good parking spot, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm declaring it. When I declare precisely what I am,
00:17:30
Speaker
capable of imagining and I can see it and hear it and read it and anchor it with my programming. When it happens, it happens like I'm catching that wave. I'm ready for it because the universe is providing and my subconscious does not know the difference between many things. So I'm living in the moment as if.
00:17:58
Speaker
And so let's add to that as I've observed how you do things. And we planned our birthday party together. It was really fun. We're going to have the after-party soon. And you're also a planner, but the way you plan or take action is always in the context of relationship. So you use the connection with people as a way to create experiences or make things happen.
00:18:23
Speaker
And I think that's a really important point because some people set an intention or they put it out to the universe, but then nothing happens. They don't have a way to do it. You have a way that you interact with life that you know how to make things happen.
00:18:39
Speaker
Thank you, Rob. When you hear from someone or you get a text or you get a message or they call and you're like, because there's so many rules attached to it. I believe if we don't have a lot of rules in our interactions and we let those interactions be, we can create those experiences. If we are
00:19:01
Speaker
giving commands. If we are being commandos, then we're probably not going to have a lot of relationships that happen like that. I mean, they'll happen. My educational piece would be to be with yourself and to trust and allow things to happen. Think about a time in your life
00:19:24
Speaker
Maybe it was getting married, maybe it was having a baby, maybe it was meeting your partner for the first time or meeting a parent for the first time, meeting someone in your life. Remember that moment. You didn't necessarily have it mapped out. It happened. And when it happened, you remember. You remember if you were a bride, the veil going over your head or walking in the beach, or you remember having that child.
00:19:48
Speaker
wherever you had it, you remember those moments. They weren't something that you necessarily said, I'm going to walk down the beach, I'm going to have a hummingbird, scare me, I'm going to bump into this man, I'm going to fall in love. You knew the feeling of being loved and giving love. And when we can be with that, without the rules, and when I say take a risk, I don't mean jump out of a plane without a parachute. I mean, find your zone.
00:20:14
Speaker
Find your, when you speak to a financial advisor, you'll be asked what is your financial, what are your risks? Where are you comfortable? So think about where you are comfortable in your emotional state, physical. Here's two 25 pound dumbbells. I can't do that. Okay, what can you do? Five. Okay, let's try eight, let's try 10. So you'll find where those boundaries are and you'll push it a little bit.
00:20:41
Speaker
Because if we stay exactly where we are at this moment, and we talk about appreciating people, if I stay exactly right here, my limited experience might remain limited. If I enjoy life, then I will think about the other person. I will mirror them. I will meet them where they're at. I will create an experience that is good for you first.
00:21:06
Speaker
Think about a child. You don't say, come over here, sit here. But you say, what would you like? What would you like to eat? What do you want to watch? What would you like to do? You might not like to do all the things that that child likes. You still want to know what if they say, I want to read a book. And you say, let's go on the swing. You want to find out where the interaction will go and be ready. The risk could be to just drop your guard. Your risk could be to cook instead of eat. Go instead of going to a restaurant, doing something together.
00:21:35
Speaker
Open that up. Think about the art gallery and the art. And when you look at it, you have beautiful things behind you. You have paintings, you have people's faces, you have words that was put together. Those were created. When we create something, someone might say, that looks great. And someone else might say, oh, gee, why is she wearing a black dress? That's not color.
00:21:56
Speaker
And someone might say, I really like that red. But together, we did not know this, but look how good we look together today. And that was not a plan. I know this matches your outfit. I know, I know. I'm thinking about that when I saw you. That's the vibe. When you catch the vibe of someone, even before you're speaking with them, you know, you can feel it, you can sense it.
00:22:18
Speaker
And then you know that you're in the right place and be of service. Truly be of service to someone to appreciate them and have an experience. Not to the exclusion of oneself. Know what pleases you. Wake up pleased so you're not needy.
00:22:35
Speaker
Right, right. So in what you just shared, I think that a really rich, important direction for people is to know that when you're getting to know people and relationships, it actually shows you where your emotional edges are, where growth needs to happen.
00:22:50
Speaker
And when we train people and hypnosis, that's a big part of the training is to grow through emotional challenges, fears, bold patterns that aren't serving you anymore. And so being in life this way and noticing, hmm, when can I really be with the person or where do I lose it, right? Where do I get stuck in focused on myself or in fear?
00:23:16
Speaker
can show you where your edges are and where growth needs to happen. And then there are ways that you can learn how to let go of the things you need to let go of to be able to serve, to be able to be with the person. Exactly. I have a quick story, another story to talk to you about water, if we have time for it. When I met my husband and we were on a date, he lived in Canada, I lived in New York, so we would travel to get together. We were in
00:23:46
Speaker
Negril.
00:23:48
Speaker
And we were on a catamaran and we wanted to go snorkeling. So we went with the group. We're on the catamaran, we're putting on the big flippers, you know, you have to put the goggles on and we're sitting on the edge. And I said to him, can you hold my hand? You know, it's a date. So of course I'm going to hold your hand. And I said, no, but really, can you hold my hand? And he said, yes. I said, okay, don't let go. And he's thinking, wow, this is exciting. We jump in the water.
00:24:19
Speaker
were snorkeling. And I said, did you happen to wonder why I asked you to hold my hand? Because no, he didn't ask. Because he's a quick start. He went right with it. He's like, yes. And he said, you know, we're in the water. Okay, why? I said, I don't know how to swim. And he looks at me and says, you know, A, you don't really know me except that we're dating and we live in different countries. And B, you jump in the water and you don't know how to swim.
00:24:46
Speaker
I asked you to hold my hand. He said, I don't really know how to swim either. I said, OK, well, I guess we're made for each other. So you have these big flippers on. So you're not going to know. That's knowing the edges, the boundaries. Now, I don't recommend if you're watching and listening that you jump in the water if you don't know how to swim with this total stranger. He was a little bit more than a total stranger. But I do recommend that you know your boundaries and where you can go.
00:25:11
Speaker
and how far you can bring yourself and what excitement are you looking for? Like I wanted him to ask me, hey, how come? And he didn't. And I'm like, look at him. He's like into it. He's just like, okay, I'll hold your hand. Let's go. So look for that. Look for the energetic match as well.
00:25:31
Speaker
when you're with someone. And if you catch that, like we did when we were talking about our birthdays, birthday parties, multiple parties, we knew that we caught that with one another. And that's what you attract and what you get when you give that, when you give that trust, and you give that raw experience to, here I am, let's have an experience together.
00:25:58
Speaker
then you see what you get. What you see is what you get. Just look at it. Yeah. So I'm curious for you to talk a little bit about when you've met people who don't know how to catch the wave, how does that hit you or how do you interact with that? What do you do?
00:26:19
Speaker
Right. I think we're attracted to people, so we're in front of them for a reason. I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten, the teacher asked, can I put your daughter next to the shy girls? Because she's really good at talking. So I believe we show up in people's lives for a reason. So if I'm in front of someone who perhaps isn't open to that, maybe I'm there to set an example or model.
00:26:46
Speaker
And I believe that if I'm within a football field of someone and they feel something, then I'm there to hopefully give an example. So I believe that we're there for a reason. So you're finding a way to love them and give to them somehow, no matter what. Yes, and hopefully have them love themselves enough to trust. It's really important we love ourselves.
00:27:15
Speaker
Without that, we're going to be doubting and second guessing and spending a whole lot of energy on what did that mean? And should I have done that? And what is that going to look like? And what is someone going to say about me? That is really an abyss of negativity.
00:27:29
Speaker
Yeah, so I know I've done that. So I know we all have. We all have. I sort of woke up when I was little with that. You know, I was born this way. Is that Lady Gaga? I was born this way. I remember when I was little, my sister used to say to me, I have so much confidence. I'm like, I don't know.
00:27:48
Speaker
It's something in me, but I practice that, so I believe I was born this way. But I remember moments where I didn't know if something was going to happen, but I gave it my all. If there was a badge or an award to be won, I'm so competitive, Robbie.
00:28:04
Speaker
I am competitive with myself. I am so competitive, I have to win it. I have to be the first. I'm an early adopter. I have to be the first one to try it, to see if it works, to see if I could break it, to see if I could fix it. So I have this burning desire to know for knowledge. It's not to be right, it's to know, to learn, to experience. People pay for experiences, right? That's what I do. I pay for an experience.
00:28:33
Speaker
So if someone tells me how fantastic this is, I'm not too sure if that would sell me, but I want to know what that can do. I could sign something that will give me an experience, and then I would want this. Right. So the thing is secondary. It's what is it onto your life that you're looking at? Right. And how could I utilize that?
00:29:00
Speaker
and experience it with someone else. It's not about me and me alone because that's a very lonely world. That's a lonely day. I have a little game that I play with myself every day. And I've been doing this for 13 years. Shall I share it? Yeah.
00:29:18
Speaker
I picked 10 o'clock in the morning because I used to do this call called a 10-10 club. We used to check in at 10 in the morning with each other and 10 at night. It was an accountability call. I decided that by 10 o'clock every morning, I would attract a brand new person in my life and have their contact information in my phone. You know I use send out cards and you need an address in order to send a card. For 13 years, I thought, I'm pretty intelligent. Let me see how I do that.
00:29:48
Speaker
So most people would think you go out and you find people and you knock on their door and you ask them for their address. I sit, I meditate, I breathe, and by 10 o'clock, I have a name of someone who wants to discuss something with me and I ask them, can I send you a card? May I have your address? I've been doing this for 13 years.
00:30:12
Speaker
It opens up the door. It brings people to me. I don't go out and do that door knocking approach in that sense. So this game is to bring one person to me that I could be of service and appreciate them and I send a card. But aside from that being sending the card, it's a skill that I've really honed.
00:30:38
Speaker
And when I wake up, which is like four in the morning, by 10, it's already lunch, I wake up and I think if my energy is strong and positive, and if it's high and it's rising, someone will come across me and wanna rise with me. And that's how I match them. It could be through a text or it could be an actual, we get phone calls still, I still get phone calls with people who don't schedule them.
00:31:08
Speaker
And that is a game, this competitiveness in myself. I think I have maybe 9,000 contacts on my phone.
00:31:17
Speaker
Like some crazy number I can. Yeah, I believe that Rara. For sure you do. Just something that I think we could do this with ourselves. We can create a challenge and be accountable because accountability is really key in appreciating people. Because if I say I'm going to do something with you, I really need to do it. Otherwise I'm going to lose credibility.
00:31:41
Speaker
Yeah, awesome. Thank you for sharing that. I think that's a great example and illustration of how to interact with this in a way that that does have accountability in it. So it's not just a pie in the sky thing or let life happen thing. I mean, surfers do need to learn how to surf. And when you're on that wave, you got to do something. You have to know how to navigate.
00:32:06
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, excellent. So is there anything else that you think would be helpful for people to know on this theme? Appreciating others. I would say I love to just, I'll take away the word just. I'd love to share the trusting ourself, trusting our instinct. Take a chance on yourself. Speak to someone.
00:32:34
Speaker
Tell them it's your first time doing this, talking to someone in an elevator, going on a picnic, asking someone for directions, telling them you think they look beautiful. Say, I haven't done this. I really think you look beautiful today, Robbie. I love your necklace. I'm not used to saying this. I'm not saying that's actually accurate for me because I'm happy to do that. But if it is the first time,
00:32:59
Speaker
Be authentic and remain in integrity and tell someone exactly where you're at and they'll appreciate you. They won't think you're odd. They won't think all the things that negative stink in thinking that you might let in. Be authentic and remain in integrity and let people know that and the experiences will keep coming and you will feel good about yourself and then people will want to be around you. I don't know if you like vanilla or chocolate, but what do you like vanilla or chocolate?
00:33:25
Speaker
Depends. I like both. Okay. So if you brought, if I brought you a chocolate cake, you'd be okay. If I brought you a vanilla cake, you'd be okay. Some people are like, I don't want that. You know, that's not what I like.
00:33:37
Speaker
I don't know what I like. I'll try both. I mean, I like them. It depends on my mood. So I believe that if we can serve, again, as in the art gallery, serve what we know about ourselves, we can let others choose. We don't have to worry. Is it your favorite? We can see if the experience is fun enough that maybe we'll close our eyes and pretend it's chocolate.
00:33:58
Speaker
And you're looking for what do you love about the painting that's in front of you in the art gallery, like you're sorting for that. You know, there's going to be something there. Yes. And if not, turn it around. Hopefully the alarm doesn't go off. Yeah. Right. Yeah. In our house, when we hang, well, in our home, once we buy the art, when we hang it, we actually look to hang it different ways if it's abstract.
00:34:23
Speaker
So we have this one artist that we bought something. It was a 45-minute auction where the artists line up and they create a piece of art in 45 minutes. It was a silent auction. So you're bidding on the artist, on the piece, and you don't know what it's going to turn out to be. I'll show you when you come over. So this one piece, no matter what home we live in, we bring it with us in different rooms and we hang it different ways. It's frameless.
00:34:47
Speaker
because we watched her create it we feel so attached to it we watched that from a canvas with nothing to what it ended up being and we won in that silent auction and we know that she just created it on the spot. So we feel that we can hang it anyway we want and so we get to appreciate that in each home in a different room in a different way i'll show it to you when you come.
00:35:11
Speaker
So you're creating a new experience, right? Every home is a new wave, and you're at a new point in your life together, and you're seeing things differently. Which is why we like to move so much. Yeah, it is. It is. Thank you. I want to ask you a quick question. Yeah.
00:35:32
Speaker
Because we really hit it off when we met and we had that experience and your experience with hypnosis. What do you do when you're meeting someone and you feel a good vibe about them? Do you use any type of self-hypnosis or do you use hypnosis in any way when you're developing that relationship?
00:35:52
Speaker
For me with relationships, mostly I trust that it's going to unfold the way it's meant to. And it's really awesome to meet people who you do have that connection with. I'm really loving this conversation because I can be better at this. And so I'm loving discovering how you look at things.
00:36:12
Speaker
So what you've shared today is something that I would use self-hypnosis to improve on because it's something that's newer for me. I do know how to do
00:36:28
Speaker
this to a point, nowhere near the way you can. And so when I discover a new direction, a new way to grow, like when you were talking about lifting weights and you say, I can only lift five pounds, and you know, you challenge yourself and that's how your muscles grow. So if you do lift eight pounds, you get stronger, that that's really how I would use it. When I have a really good connection with people, I
00:36:52
Speaker
I trust that I have what I need in place already to allow that to blossom. And so I think they're real. And I would say that many people, if they are ready, everybody has certain people that they're going to have a natural connection with just automatically. And often those are the easy relationships.
00:37:14
Speaker
And the real growth is discovering how can we have that more with more people, with people who that wouldn't necessarily happen really easily with.
00:37:24
Speaker
So that would be my approach to doing it. I'm going to focus my energy and my attention and resources on the growth areas because there's a certain amount I can know I'm already fit at. Like if you already know how to surf and it's a regular wave day, then you can just enjoy it. But if it's like super high waves, you might need to use more technique or focus a little more or draw on your experience in a different way.
00:37:54
Speaker
And so I'm really channeling my use of hypnosis and the direction of where am I trying to lift eight pounds where I could only lift five before. Right? Trust that you talk about, right? You trust yourself.
00:38:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So like with you and me, our relationship is growing very naturally, right? And in a really awesome way, which I totally appreciate. And then I watched you, you know, for our listeners, Rara and I met each other because we are a member of the Verity Club, which is a club in Toronto. And that's how we met. So we see each other a lot there, but usually it's with other people.
00:38:34
Speaker
So I've had a chance to observe Rara in lots of different situations with lots of different people, which is what inspired me to invite you on this podcast to share because I saw, hey, it's not just with me. You're able to have a really great connection with lots of people very easily. And it's really just how it's like your M.O., right? It's how you live.
00:38:58
Speaker
It is a slave. And for our listeners to grow that in yourself, to cultivate thought, even if it's not natural for you. And I know it hasn't been for me. This is something I've had to learn over time. And I'm learning more and more as just right now, I'm learning more that you can create it and you can help yourself develop that hypnotic trance in your life with repetition. Repetition is the mother of all learning.
00:39:28
Speaker
So for people who want to discover more about how this is possible you might be sometimes people say oh well that's not how I am oh that that person's good at it but you know they were just born this way which literally you were.
00:39:43
Speaker
But the presupposition we have in NLP is that people are meant to grow and change and that any behavior can be modeled and copied so that you can become good at what other people are good at. And that's really a big foundation of the work we do. So for people who would like to get better at this, I hope you learned a lot from this conversation today. And I strongly encourage you to model Rara
00:40:12
Speaker
and how she is with people. And if you would like more feedback or in your relationships through bumping into your edges, you discover there are things you need to heal up from or grow through, then feel free to reach out to find out more about hypnosis training and how it can help you to live a better life.
00:40:31
Speaker
What a great pairing. It's such an amazing pairing to be able to speak with you and then build confidence to appreciate people. It feels like such a natural instinct. I couldn't imagine doing this without knowing what you know. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Robbie. I really appreciate our conversation today. It feels like it was a minute, like it just went by.
00:40:58
Speaker
It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I really appreciate you coming here and sharing this. It's really, these are golden nuggets you guys are getting. So Rama, share with people how they can reach you if they want to find out more about what you do and what you have to offer. Okay, thank you. Well, I like social media, so you can find me on TikTok, on Instagram,
00:41:23
Speaker
LinkedIn, Facebook. My name is Catherine Sarah Myers, and I go by Rara. I'm branded Rara for 13 years. I have a bio link, so it's bio link, and then it's Rara. I'm sure there'll be some show notes with some information or a link on how you can reach me.
00:41:40
Speaker
You can text me, but I use a digital calendar through BioLink that says work with me because I have these times that I like to offer, my energetic times that I'm available for whether it's 15 or 30 minutes or an hour, I meditate before each session. So when someone wants to speak with me, I actually clear the energy and I meditate before. So I use a digital calendar.
00:42:04
Speaker
through Calendly that you can reach me on my bio link. I'm really looking forward to having conversations, but I like to make sure that there is nothing lingering around. So when you walk into the space of meeting with me, I have crystals underneath you. I've cleared the air with Palo Santo. I'm infusing lemon and lavender and peppermint.
00:42:27
Speaker
I use a digital calendar so that I could actually set the stage for us so that when you walk into my Zoom room or my bridge room, because my company is the bridge and I have a room for that here, you feel that the energy is light and airy for you. You can use a bio link that will get you to my calendar. Awesome. It's like getting ready to go surfing. Exactly. It's like the orchestra. I'm a romantic.
00:42:57
Speaker
It's the way to be. It is. It works for me. Yes, and I know you are too. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you, Robbie. I really appreciate it.
00:43:10
Speaker
To find out more about how hypnosis can help you grow through any fears or limitations you have around connecting with people and building great relationships, visit hypnosistrainingcanada.com. Remember to click the button to subscribe, share the podcast with a friend, and please leave us a review so you can help others benefit from the podcast too. Until next time. You've been listening to The Hypnosis Show with Robbie Spear Miller. Tune in next time to learn more about how you can change your life with hypnosis.
00:43:40
Speaker
And if you are interested in learning more about training opportunities, go to hypnosistrainingcanada.com and schedule a free consultation.