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3 Green Flags: How To Build Better Relationships In Business & Life
64 Plays1 month ago
Are you ready to transform the way you connect with people? In this episode of "The Habit of Possibility" podcast, Robbie Spier Miller sits down with Tree Ryde to explore the essential tools and mindset needed to build stronger, more meaningful relationships—both at work and in life.
Key moments and takeaways include:
- How to set the mood and lead with positive energy
- The importance of looking at every interaction - even when they are disappointing - as a fun adventure
- Ways you can communicate with intention and build genuine connection - even when having difficult conversations
From laughing through surprises to finding strength in vulnerability, this conversation is brimming with insights that will help you nurture relationships and cultivate positive outcomes, no matter the circumstances.
What mood will you bring to life today? Tune in now for actionable tips and a boost of inspiration!
Our guest, Tree Ryde is a seasoned professional with an extraordinary journey that spans various domains. From fashion and film to marketing, and ultimately, a thriving career in corporate transformation. Her profound understanding of human behavior and a unique blend of experiences have shaped her into a guiding force for those seeking transformative success in the business world.
With a passion for equipping individuals and organizations to pursue their deepest business ambitions and transform them into reality. Tree is here to serve as your unwavering partner on this transformative journey. Together, you’ll seize the reins of your business, transcending its limitations, and harnessing profound productivity. With her guidance, you’ll foster unwavering confidence and gain crystal-clear clarity in your pursuits, ensuring that your vision is not just a dream but a thriving reality.
Tree Ryde, Director
416 456 8733
Learn more about how Robbie Spier Miller can help you build your business and personal success here:
https://www.hypnosistrainingcanada.com
https://www.mindlinkconsulting.com
Social Media Handles:
@hypnosistrainingcanada
@robbiespiermiller
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Transcript
Opening: Embrace Curiosity and Flexibility
00:00:00
Speaker
Just really pick your mood, really allow yourself to pivot when need to and be in discovery to be flexible and to even step into kind of like your eight-year-old self and just be curious.
00:00:16
Speaker
Welcome to the Habit of Possibility podcast, the show about turning obstacles into opportunities. I'm your host, Robby Spear-Miller. Today on the show, we're talking about how to build better relationships in business and in life.
Meet Tree Ride: Thriving with Energy and Attitude
00:00:31
Speaker
Our guest, Tree Ride, is an expert at helping people and organizations thrive.
00:00:38
Speaker
Tari, it's so great to have you here on the Habit of Possibility podcast. And the topic that I want to explore with you is how you're really excellent at deciding how you want something to go and just bringing the attitude and the energy to a situation so that you kind of gather people up in that and they follow you there. Mm-hmm.
00:01:00
Speaker
And so all kinds of things happened that wouldn't have happened if you didn't bring that with you. So I would love for you to share with people how you do that so people can learn how to do that for themselves.
The Power of Imagination and Fun
00:01:10
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting. ah Thanks for having me, of course. And...
00:01:14
Speaker
i The first thing that that comes to mind is I'm imagining about how something wants to be. And I even get into the energy of that. Like it's all based on fun, as I mean, anyone that's ever met me, I love fun.
00:01:29
Speaker
And so that's the first thing. So I'm imagining something and, oh, that's going to be so much fun. And the other part of it is that I get really excited about um being with somebody that's experiencing something for the first time.
00:01:43
Speaker
So even though like I've done something or maybe even I haven't done something. So even I maybe am experiencing it for the first time, but I probably imagined it in my head.
00:01:54
Speaker
So it's almost like maybe I think that I've experienced a little bit, but it really is the mood that I'm picking first and the imagination that goes along with the mood. So, and then even the excitement starts to build as I'm starting to plan things and starting to invite people and,
00:02:12
Speaker
And building on the conversation of what it is that that we're going to be doing. So, yeah. Great. So it's almost like the innocent eye where you're just excited about having an experience and that's it. That's all there is.
00:02:28
Speaker
And I think sometimes like when we're little kids, it's easy to get excited because everything's new and we're changing all the time. And then as we grow up, it's not like that anymore. But you you keep that with you and you
Intentional Emotions and Positive Perspectives
00:02:40
Speaker
bring that with you. So I think that's part of the, you know, and and what I've noticed as you do this, Therese, is that you're not really...
00:02:47
Speaker
like, if it doesn't quite work out that way, you just move on. So some people get hung up on things didn't work out the way they wanted them to, and then they get all disappointed or heartbroken or cynical or whatever. And like, you totally don't do that. You just move on to the next thing and learn from it and keep going. So is that accurate to say? Yeah, that's accurate. And what I would add too is that I'm always in discovery. So even if something doesn't turn out the way that I thought it would. So here's a good story. I invited a whole bunch of people um to go to this restaurant because they had live music and there was this gal that was singing there and we absolutely loved her. She's like 14 years old and she was she was singing like Johnny Cash and like all this great stuff.
00:03:33
Speaker
So I invited probably about 10 people to come because she was there every Sunday night, like every Sunday night. So I invited people, we show up, she was not there. And that was this guy that looked like, he literally looked like Elvis Presley just walked out of a coffin.
00:03:49
Speaker
and i Like he was literally like, and so it was the complete opposite of what I was like upping everything to do. But we still had a good time because it was, we made it funny because it was quite comical, literally.
00:04:03
Speaker
And then we noticed halfway through that he wasn't even playing the guitar, that was actually like a backtrack that he was doing. yeah. We just made it fun along the way and everyone still had a good time. So I think it's it's about really making the outcome bigger than any kind of emotion that that could potentially ah bes So the outcome was just having fun, listening to music, spending time with the people that ah we very much enjoy.
00:04:28
Speaker
so it's keeping your ah flashlight. I know this is your analogy, right? Your flashlight. um on what it is that you're looking to do. Okay. Yeah. So what I'm understanding you you're saying is actually that you're deciding what emotion you want to have.
00:04:45
Speaker
And so regardless of what happens, you're going to find a way to have that fun, right? If it's an emotion of fun or enjoyment or appreciating people or yeah you know laughter or whatever it is that you're finding a way to have that even if it's not quite the way you expected.
00:05:01
Speaker
Yeah, bang on. And also too, it's the repetition of practicing that emotion over and over again. So if I were to pick like like three main emotions that i I practice over and over again. It's it's fun, like laughter, like ah making having a sense of humor over humanity kind of thing.
00:05:21
Speaker
um Another one is discovery. So just being in so much curiosity. And then the last one is flexibility, like being being like um finding the fun or even a song to like pivot from one thing to the next.
00:05:36
Speaker
Yeah. and And I'd say these were the three kind of main things that I certainly practice these moods, dare I say, almost every day. So, yeah. Okay.
00:05:46
Speaker
And you have a life just like everybody else's. It's not like everything's great, right you have You have ups and downs. And it's really interesting to watch your response to whatever happens. Yeah.
00:05:58
Speaker
Well, and actually, it's funny because I didn't even tell you this, but my car broke down, so I don't have a car. i was wondering why didn't see your – yeah, that's why when I came in, I thought you weren't here because I didn't see your teeth.
00:06:09
Speaker
Right. And and so so to your point, I was like, so again, just really picking the mood. okay cool. Yeah. you know what? I, I, I'm not held down by a car. I don't have to go get gas. I don't have to like do whatever. I'm actually, I feel kind of free, right? Because I don't have, a I don't have a car. No one knows where I am. Yeah. It's an adventure.
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah. Again, so discovery, yeah right? So I'm in discovery and I'm just like, okay, I'm going to be here. I'm going to be there. And you know, maybe, maybe Robbie can drop me off on her way home. Maybe not. i can Uber. I have options. Right.
00:06:43
Speaker
And then really being flexible that, you know, am I going to, ah leave at whatever time or i can do some work here or do whatever, but it's that flexibility.
Managing Relationships and Emotions
00:06:53
Speaker
so yeah. Yeah.
00:06:54
Speaker
so Yeah. yeah And I really get the idea of looking at everything as an adventure. Like last year, i was skiing in Italy in the Dolomite Mountains and It's a huge mountain range, like nothing like we have here in Canada. It's like a whole other scale.
00:07:09
Speaker
And at the end of the day, was skiing with my son and he loved just exploring the whole mountain and trying different hills. But he thought we were ending where we needed to end and give back our skis because we had rentals and we didn't we ended up somewhere else and the ski lifts closed and like we were where we were.
00:07:27
Speaker
So lo and behold, there's a taxi waiting there for people just like us who ended up not where they were supposed to be. So we asked the taxi to take us back to where we needed to go, and it turns out it was a 45-minute ride. Oh, my gosh.
00:07:41
Speaker
And we barely made it to give back the skis before the ski shop closed, and it was like a very expensive in euros taxi ride. Yeah. But then we also missed, like we had this whole plan for getting home and we missed our connections and we had to get home another way. And like it was this this series of things, but we had all these experiences we wouldn't normally have. Like we were hungry, so we went into this bakery and we chatted with the audience.
00:08:05
Speaker
women there and kind of learn more about the culture. And so, a lot of things happen along the way that we're like we will remember that experience it was an adventure. But somebody might go, oh, I can't believe we had to, you know, spend 45 minutes driving back or we had to pay all that extra money, or right? yeah So, um looking at things that way is really helpful because hey, you don't plan for it but when it happens you may as well just go with it.
00:08:31
Speaker
but and they say the sometimes the so some of the not worst moments, but some of the not planned moments are the best stories later, right? Like you would not have that story to tell had that not happened. Right. And we never would have planned for that to happen. That's for sure. would It would have just stopped at skiing and where was that place that you just mentioned? The Dolomites. Yeah. Yeah. skiing in the yeah But you actually had this adventure and also modeling for your kids that it's totally okay that you can just pivot and move and it's not a big deal. Like, so even for parents, if they're getting really frustrated or they're freaking out or they're getting in an unuseful emotional state, then it's unuseful because their kids are going model that or they're going to be in fear.
00:09:17
Speaker
if something doesn't go just so, oh no, the parent's gonna get upset or something like that. And so, yeah. And like you said, it's just life. like Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:27
Speaker
So, I would love for you to give us an example of where you've done this with regard to relationships, like when things do get messy. So, if you're in a relationship with somebody, any kind, it could be business or personal, but can you think of an example where ah things were not going the way you wanted and like you're very good at being the first to ah take the lead in getting things on a new track.
00:09:51
Speaker
If that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So the first thing is i notice if something doesn't feel right. So whether it's in like when you talk about relationships, so whether it's in the other person, we've all ah had the experience of walking into a room and you can just feel that the energy isn't really right.
00:10:09
Speaker
So right then I'll i'll i'll check in So for example, if it's my husband and and I'll walk in and I can sense a mood that whether maybe he didn't have a good day or, and so I'm just sort of checking in in a lot of ways.
00:10:25
Speaker
So normally I'm very high energy. So in that moment, I'll make sure that I'm not high energy because who, if they're not, if they didn't have a great day and then all of a sudden there's me coming that's, yeah, hi, you know, this is amazing, right? Like, um it's just kind of disrespectful and that's not how I am. So I'm always very much reading the room.
00:10:47
Speaker
So no matter where I am, whether I'm at home or um even with my best friend, like I can, we can be anywhere and I can just sort of tap into, well, actually anybody really, and just kind of see what's what's happening in terms of energy.
00:11:02
Speaker
So then i'll I'll approach the person and I might just be like, hey, you know, and I'll just, i I'll actually touch touch them. And ah in general, you It's a relationship-based, and I know the person well enough that I can.
00:11:16
Speaker
Well, sometimes I do touch random people, but
Vulnerability, Humor, and Connection
00:11:19
Speaker
it's a whole other episode. We won't go there. Not today. People will have to tune in for that
00:11:29
Speaker
one. But I'm really – letting them know that they're in a safe place because I find so many people nowadays, they struggle with having what I could call a hard conversation, whether they're, they are embarrassed to be vulnerable, um or they're beating themselves up in their head about something and they don't, uh, they feel either ashamed to express what's happening or what's going on. So even with my, so with anybody, um it's,
00:12:01
Speaker
bringing your energy to wherever that person's at, connecting with them in some way, and just starting a conversation about anything, right? And sometimes I'll add some like comedic stories or ah to get the person into the comfort of their own vulnerability, right? So that it's like, I'll tell even a really funny story about what I did or you know, just, oh yeah, you know what? Wow, wasted money on that. Like not gonna do that again. And just making things no big deal about myself or things. And I'll throw a story out here. I'll throw a story out there. and
00:12:40
Speaker
And then all of a sudden the person will start to open up because it's what they realize is what's going on in their mind is no big deal, right? Because we've all bought something and wasted money in that way, right? We've all tripped and fell We've all behaved inappropriately at some point in time in our life, right? Like it's just us being human. So it's it's kind of just throwing everything out on the table knowing that like here we are, right? It's almost a poker, you strip poker, right? You just throw it out.
00:13:14
Speaker
There's always something else to take off. Yeah.
00:13:19
Speaker
Because you're always moving on to the next thing, right? So what I see here is a lot of movement where you're you're keeping focused on wanting to connect with the person and having a positive connection. you got it.
00:13:30
Speaker
And you're going to keep trying things until you get there. And I think where a lot of people get stuck is that they... they um stay in the negative energy or the story that's not useful um or the idea they have about the other person or the situation and they indulge it or they they make it bigger than it needs to be.
00:13:51
Speaker
Whereas like you go right past it and yeah and not ignoring it. Like if something needs to be talked about, you you will absolutely talk about it. But you don't look at it as a defining thing.
00:14:02
Speaker
Right, you got it. Things are in motion and changing all the time and so it's something that you're going to move through with them to get somewhere else. It's not a destination.
00:14:12
Speaker
You got it. And i'll I'll give you an example of this. ah One morning, i think months ago, my husband woke up and and were just getting ready to go out the door and stuff like that and I can tell there something on his mind. And I'm just like, hey, you know, what's what's noodling and in in in your brain? And he's like, ah, I got this email from ah ah customer last night. And he's like, yeah it was a big long email. And so now I got to go into work and got to really like construct an email back to him. And i just said to my husband, i said, well, why don't just call him?
00:14:43
Speaker
And he just sat there. He's like, huh. Because the thing is, is if somebody's emailing you like 11 o'clock at night, guaranteed, it's they've just, who knows, right? 11 p.m., tired, bored, whatever emotion that you're in. And people can draft an email. But when you get someone on the phone, and and you always tell all of us that, right? Mm-hmm. Get someone on the phone, talk to them. And because otherwise my he would have spent an hour, an hour and a half like doing email.
00:15:11
Speaker
But when you talk on the phone, that's the best way to communicate, to clear the air. And it could have just taken five minutes, right? Right. And so when you're doing things by email or text, you're you're not actually connected with the person and you can't gauge their mood or...
00:15:27
Speaker
have any influence on the mood and you have no idea how they're responding to what you're saying. so So when you're having a conversation or an interaction, you can adjust in real time. And and that's such a powerful thing. It's a very powerful thing. And Even i think my husband can came home that night and he's like, oh yeah, it was like a five-minute conversation. The guys even apologized half the stuff. He said he was tired and he's talking to his wife or whatever and just, you know, okay. so So communication is is really key and it is that flow.
00:16:02
Speaker
Like I find the more movement, people just feel better, right? Like, so yeah, when we stay stagnant as human beings, then...
00:16:13
Speaker
It's too much time up here. Yeah, yeah. And I would add to that that I think it's very common with many people that if they, if let's say they get upset with somebody, it could be personal or in business, if they get upset with somebody and there's nothing next, then they assume that that's defining their relationship.
00:16:33
Speaker
And maybe they were just in a bad mood or they were under a lot of pressure or something, right? yeah And so it's it's making sure, like the the saying, never go go to bed angry.
00:16:45
Speaker
and So if we say when you're in relationships with people, you want to end on a note that's useful and positive no matter what happens in between. you know, with our clients, we say that no matter what happens in the middle, you want to start well and you want it to end well.
00:17:02
Speaker
And so if you're interacting, you can... influence that. Yeah, and and another way how it could also be explained too is that whatever mood anybody it is in whether they're reading an email or like you said, like the beginning or end of an interaction, whatever mood that is, ah that's how somebody's reading an email or a message.
Corporate Training: Discovery and Connection
00:17:27
Speaker
Or whatever in ah the last interaction that you've had with somebody, whatever that mood is, even when you think of them in your mind, That's how you think of them. So if it's on a a negative note, then you're thinking of them negatively, right? Or yourself negatively because sometimes people are embarrassed about how they themselves behave.
00:17:47
Speaker
And then they're worried about what does that other person think of them and then they might avoid connecting with them and or things like that. So there's that as well. Yeah. and And every corporate business I work with, like there's always one or two staff members that they've made up in their mind that somebody in there in the group doesn't like them and then they're treating that person um that they that that that they don't like them, whereas they've just made it up in their head.
00:18:15
Speaker
And whenever I'm doing corporate training, I always like look for those people and or I'll just put it on the table, right? So the same example that you were asking me before And just throwing everything out there so that people can be in discovery. And even people listening to this, what kind of things can you throw out there to get the people around you in discovery? Because it would be different for different cultures. It would be different for um depending on...
00:18:41
Speaker
ah I don't know, I'm going to say status or or industries. So anybody that's listening to this, really be curious about how it is that you can change your own life in amazing ways. but white What could be your three different moods that you can practice each and every single day?
00:18:59
Speaker
ah what can it What can you imagine in your mind to allow yourself to to have the fun you want or to have the life you want? And I mean, for me, I gravitate more towards fun. I love seeing people laugh. But maybe your version is about information, discovery.
00:19:18
Speaker
Like, I met this one person once, and they just knew a lot about a lot of things. And I was, like, fascinated. Like, I just got... Like sucked into, I was like, oh, tell me more. Like, so that's a different version of it as well, of the same thing, right? Yeah.
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah. So one thing that's important about this is that not everybody is like a super high energy person, right? Like for you, that's your personality. You love it. um I'm a more reserved person.
00:19:46
Speaker
and But you can still have this focus and this connection with people and this this awareness of the importance of the tone and the mood of the situation, no matter what you your kind of tendency is, if that makes sense.
00:20:01
Speaker
So you can always model people who are higher energy and get become more like that. And at the same time, if we have this this ah value placed on what the quality of the connection is and wanting to nurture that, I think that that's a really good focus for people.
00:20:21
Speaker
whether it's in their you know romantic relationship or with their kids or with people in business, um in anywhere in life, that it that sets the tone for everything that happens next and people's expectations of it.
00:20:36
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And That's a huge point, Robbie, just having that connection. Like i know ah for you and I and everything that we do, we have this, and don't know if the word is profound. You're my you're my word person. Like if it's profound, but – We really genuinely care about every human, like genuinely.
00:21:00
Speaker
and And that really allows us to connect easily with people. So even that's a ah key component for any human person. that if you're looking to even get out of unuseful emotions or dialogue, and focus more on actually connecting with people, because that as us as a species, that is kind of like our natural state, I believe anyways. So, right.
00:21:24
Speaker
So if we judge ourselves or other people, where we kind of pigeonhole, then it it goes in a negative direction. And if we focus on the positive connection we want to have, things tend to go in a more positive direction, even if we need to have difficult conversations, which often need to happen, right? Like you and I have had some difficult conversations over the years.
00:21:46
Speaker
Yeah, but that's what also, oh, sorry. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, but that's what actually has has built the amount of respect that we have for one another. like we always, i I always joke, I'm like, yeah, we've been together like 30 years. It's really been about 12, 13, something like that.
00:22:02
Speaker
um But it's, it's because the same rhythm that we're talking about, that we're always going to the next thing. What's the next growth? Like, even as, as businesses, hyp hypnosis training, Canada, Burlington hypnosis, um and then what's the link with Oh, MindLink Consulting. MindLink Consulting, yeah. Say that again because we're going have to edit that. Okay. And MindLink Consulting and business growth results. So there's all of these elements that because Robbie and I, we we have those hard conversations, but it's it's the underlining tone is very respect.
00:22:36
Speaker
Like we're very respectful for each other. We want to we genuinely want to see each other's businesses grow um and we support each other in that as well. So it's not about judgment. It's not about anything else. It's really about um what we call the mission.
00:22:53
Speaker
Right. Yeah. It's about the mission. It is. And it's wonderful that we have that. Keep in mind that not everybody, not every relationship you have is going to be like this because it does take two. yeah And so Tree's really good at going first and kind of demonstrating that, but not everybody's going to respond in kind.
00:23:10
Speaker
And so I think even in those situations where somebody might not have our best interests at heart or they might not join us, we can still go in this direction and and make it as good as it can be while being realistic about taking care of ourselves in the situation or deciding where the boundaries need to be.
00:23:29
Speaker
and And that's one thing actually that I had to learn over time and is the boundaries piece. Because sometimes ah what would happen is I get so excited and let's do this, let's do that, and this is going to be amazing. yeah And and <unk>s it's great having good support around you to kind of like bring you back even a bit, right? Mm-hmm.
00:23:51
Speaker
And then kind of look at it from a larger perspective and then go forward again. And so because I've had great support, um you and my husband ah and other people, and but over time I've learned how to do that myself. Because also, because I'm really like, I imagine that it's going to be so amazing Then sometimes when I go, and if it's not, sometimes like it's like um I get disappointed, but I keep moving through to the next thing. I'd be like, oh, okay, well, I've been somewhere, and then, well, let's just go somewhere else, right? It's it's keep on going and keep on going into discovery. Yeah.
00:24:33
Speaker
Good. And I think that an important piece of this is having our eye on being about possibilities and also knowing where we need to put things in place to protect ourselves and if necessary.
00:24:45
Speaker
I was talking to somebody recently who wants to move in with her boyfriend. And so she was worried about protecting her assets. And so I said, you know did you get some kind of agreement done ahead of time? Because you know hopefully this will be wonderful and awesome, but if it's not, she can she can at least relax knowing that she'll be okay anyway.
00:25:08
Speaker
But if that's not in place, it can be wonderful at the beginning, but if it doesn't turn out the way you want, all bets are off in terms of what will happen. So um I think we need to be optimistic and realistic at the same time. And how I look at this in terms of working with clients and companies and interacting with people in general is that I'll be generous and open to a point and then I'm going to observe. So I observe how people respond.
00:25:38
Speaker
And it gives me a lot of intel about how far I can take that, if that makes
Shared Challenges and Outcome Orientation
00:25:43
Speaker
sense. Like I let them show me where they're at. um And I'm kind of like, I'll go further than maybe a usual person would, but not so far that I'm going to put myself in are in a difficult position. Mm-hmm.
00:25:58
Speaker
and and And I love what you're talking about when it comes to um creating boundaries, like with moving in, that's a great example, ah even your own boundaries of your as you're observing somebody, because it's even like the the in-between. So using the example of like what I like to call good housekeeping, right? Having a document in place that, hey, we're going to move in together, like what What does that look like? Let's have something in place in terms of assets. That's good housekeeping.
00:26:28
Speaker
um Because if that wasn't in place, that'll always be in the back of somebody's mind. Well, and let's add to that, that if if somebody has ah has a difficult time with that, then you might wonder where they're at with things, right? yeah So every interaction, it reveals things about people, right? Every challenge. I kind of look like at all of this kind of like going on an outward bound trip.
00:26:53
Speaker
You know those really intense trips in nature where people go and they're like basically abandoned in the wild and they have to survive and they're not given anything, right? They have to like... find or kill their food, they have to keep warm.
00:27:07
Speaker
They have to survive for a number of days on their own. and And so i I know some people who've done this sort of thing and also some people who lead those kinds of trips. And it's interesting because as they they go through these experiences as a group, no matter how they felt about each other beforehand, because they went through these difficult experiences, they bond over that. because they they've been through something together and they also discover an appreciation for each other through those difficult experiences.
00:27:35
Speaker
And so I've seen a lot of examples where like the really, truly connected, awesome relationships come from those kinds of things. It's like there's this crucible that the relationship gets forged in.
00:27:49
Speaker
um and trusting that crucible while having an eye on where we want things to go, I think it's a really valuable thing. That's a very cool example. Because even when they're out there, they're almost getting saved by people because people have all different skills.
00:28:06
Speaker
And then they get to prove themselves as showing up what their skill is as well. and And there's no other distractions where living wherever you're living and going throughout your everyday thing, going grocery shopping to work and all this, that it I can see how it would create an awesome bond.
00:28:26
Speaker
And let's add to that, that if you're in a situation like that, it's survival. So you do have to be outcome oriented. You can't get caught up in how you feel about the other person or how you feel about yourself because it is literally about survival. So there's no space for that. and And so that I'm sure that that helps that situation. But as we learn how to do that, even when we have all the amazing comforts we have and the safety we have in our society these days, we can still enjoy discovering that kind of connection by being willing to engage.
00:29:00
Speaker
But I think in our lives, it's more of a choice because we're not in that kind of survival situation literally. Yeah, an extreme environment. Yeah. So people get away with with sulking or judging or having all kinds of bad attitudes because they they can get away with that.
00:29:17
Speaker
they Their life isn't at risk and they can make their kind of sense of self-worth or grudges more important than the outcome. Yeah, if you're out in the wild, there's no big comfy couch and Netflix to throw on to that's right to stay in your emotion. You're really just...
00:29:35
Speaker
searching for food, creating your own shelter shelter and things like that. And i think too, when we talk about like picking your mood or or really getting excited about different things that you want to do in life, it's a better option than sitting on your couch and sulking. It's a better option than um indulging emotions.
00:29:56
Speaker
And I find there's so many people that can find themselves in these sort of unuseful pockets where um I love this conversation because we're showing people like and a different way, like a different way that um that they can live. um Yeah, so I encourage people to to share this, to practice this themselves, to experience it themselves.
00:30:19
Speaker
no Yeah, yeah. One other thing I want to add is I've worked with a lot of people who they've had some negative experiences and so if something is like fairly neutral, they're happy because nothing negative is happening. Or there are people who like thrive on ah danger or challenge, even if it's negative challenge because they're used to that, maybe they grew up with a lot of that.
00:30:43
Speaker
And so they don't really know what's possible in terms of like a positive connection and having things be better than neutral. And I think a lot of people get stuck because they settle for things that aren't really that great without creating something better. And I don't, and in when I'm talking about this, i I think it's very important to nurture relationships and and stay with them. So so that that piece is important. But as we do that, we don't have to just ah surrender into the status quo. we can We can go in new directions. We can encourage people.
00:31:20
Speaker
ah new connections and new outward bound trips or or new ways of interacting with people so that it can be even better. So sometimes we need to shake things up.
00:31:31
Speaker
Yeah. And I think even all the time we need to shake things up specifically. I mean, if you're... you do. Yeah. Yeah. Like with any relationship, specifically if you're a partner, husband, wife, or partner,
00:31:44
Speaker
That you always have to shake it. If you're just in the same old routine, then your mind is going to look for some sort of adventure, right? It's going to look for for for something somewhere or even create an exit strategy because maybe you're bored and you're starting to blame things on things. this, that, or the other thing.
00:32:02
Speaker
Where give yourself permission to to really push the envelope or or to to spread yourself out and to see where those edges are and then surpass where those edges are. um Because all of a sudden you're gonna learn something new.
00:32:15
Speaker
You know, so this is exactly what the Pina Colada song is on. I was talking to somebody about that and they they didn't even realize the word. So anyone listening this, if you know the Pina Colada song, it's literally about a husband and wife that the wife put an ad out and then the husband responded to the ad, but he didn't know that it was the wife. And then anyways, they met. So re-listen to that. You got to spice it up. They chose each other a personal ad. They re-chose each other. And in the ad was about these adventures.
00:32:47
Speaker
Do you like pina colada? So re-listen to that song and maybe implementing that into your own life or making your own version of it. Yeah. um Because it is true. yeah so true.
00:32:58
Speaker
Yeah. And if you own a business or you work in a business or you're in some kind of leadership role or followership role, um look at what can you do to to have some new experiences or contribute in a new way.
00:33:13
Speaker
Because that's what keeps things fresh. I think a lot of our i i I believe that our society could be way more productive and satisfying for everybody if people really valued yourself.
00:33:25
Speaker
i experimenting and taking risks, reasonable risks, and contributing in new novel ways and getting just being in that mood, both for themselves and for what they can create and contribute because of it.
00:33:41
Speaker
um And I think that that that's something that people kind of just kind of get stuck, right? They get stuck sitting on the couch watching Netflix or going to the same job every day and just, you know, punching their the clock or doing the everyday tasks.
00:33:56
Speaker
And no matter what your situation, that's completely unnecessary. You can always make it more fun and interesting.
Innovation and Leadership
00:34:03
Speaker
Yeah, and I think people get stuck in their their rules. So, if you have these certain rules saying that, oh, I need to be home by this time or I can't do this because I need to do this. Well, do you really need to do that?
00:34:16
Speaker
Or can you can you really step out and and do what you need to do? Specifically, even if you're a parent and you're just keeping like the same um pattern throughout, that it's really good to to change it up. And ah even in friend in friend groups.
00:34:35
Speaker
Like I'm, there's always one person in in a friend group that is always doing all the planning and stuff like that. and And a lot of people complain about being that person while I'm that person and I absolutely love it because ah it's it it changes things for not just me, but all the people around me, which is which is awesome. And that's why we're here on this planet to have experiences, I believe anyways.
00:34:59
Speaker
um Yeah, so be curious if you have some rules or beliefs or if you're trying to ah portray yourself in a certain way. Well, just stop it and and have some fun, really.
00:35:14
Speaker
And let's add that it's good to give other people the opportunity to be the one to take the initiative or plan something or do something their way and for you to follow, right? yeah So because you're so good at this, people are like, great, Tree's going to do everything.
00:35:28
Speaker
um And sometimes that makes them weaker or their sense of... ah place in the world is is affected by that because they're not participating in as interactive a way as they could be.
00:35:42
Speaker
So I think it's good to take turns in leadership roles. Mm-hmm. Specifically with husbands and wives too. Yeah, because I've definitely, that helped even my marriage, my relationship because I let go of a bunch of that stuff.
00:35:56
Speaker
Yeah, and a lot of people who work in companies um If they're given something to do and they they they don't feel like leadership or ownership of it, they'll don't don't do what they were told.
00:36:07
Speaker
But if they are given it as they're they're taking the lead, they're going to be much more invested in and engaged with what's happening. And so I think that that can be a really awesome way to get people more, i contribute more at a company and be more excited to be there.
00:36:26
Speaker
Oh, 100%. Even a lot of business owners, because the business maybe grew faster than what they thought it would, and they're still trying to do everything, even though they hired staff to do stuff, but they're still trying to, you know, do this or do that, and to learning how to let go and let people take the lead so that even totally be okay with letting them make mistakes as well, right? Because if if they make mistakes, they're going to learn, and and that's the best way yeah to learn, so.
00:36:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. All right. Is there anything else you want to share on this theme? um Yeah, i just just to review, just really pick your mood, really allow yourself to um ah pivot when need to and be in discovery and to be flexible. and To even step into kind of like your eight-year-old self and just be curious.
00:37:17
Speaker
And see everything as a living, breathing, moving, changing thing.
Closing Thoughts and Future Content
00:37:22
Speaker
That nothing's final. I think that that's that's a big piece of of where, you know, you probably haven't seen it that way because you just do it that way, but that's how I see what you're doing.
00:37:32
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's ah a great way to describe that. Yeah. Awesome. Great. All right. Well, thanks so much. i think this will be really helpful for a lot of people. Yeah. Thank you for having me. So much fun. So much fun.
00:37:44
Speaker
Yeah. Awesome. We'll have to do another episode on touching. who Oh, I would love, I would, well I would absolutely love that. I would not totally, I want to do, yes, I would absolutely love that.
00:37:56
Speaker
Appropriate touching. Of course. Yeah.
00:38:01
Speaker
You can connect with Tree Ride and learn more about how she can help you and your business at businessgrowthresults.com. Let us know what you think of the show.
00:38:11
Speaker
Reach out to us at mindlinkconsulting.com. And if you like the show, please rate and review us so other people can find us too. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Robbie Spearmiller, the host of the Habit of Possibility podcast. Tune in next time to learn more about how you can turn obstacles into opportunities.
00:38:31
Speaker
and make the most of your life and career. And if you're interested in connecting with me and learning more about personal and business coaching, consulting, and training opportunities, go to mindlinkconsulting.com or hypnosistrainingcanada.com and schedule your free consultation.