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Friendsgiving
32 Plays1 month ago
The sister fishes are getting ready for the holidays. First up, Friendsgiving, which beginning in 2020 is an official word in the dictionary.
Kathy discussed the news in Pennsylvania, which includes Jason Kelce’s phone incident and more locally a party that got a little out of hand. The girls discuss underage drinking and how to manage it with young adults who are more than likely indulging at some point.
The girls have also recently watched the new Martha Netflix documentary and whether they’d have prefer to have tea with her or Ina Garten.
Hostess Gift Suggestions
https://www.amazon.com/Honey-Dew-Gifts-Friendsgiving-Multi-Purpose/dp/B07H3N6V2B
https://www.amazon.com/Mud-Pie-Trim-Towel-Friendsgiving/dp/B0D4X9GS4K
https://a.co/d/3vrT65M
What’s For Dinner:
Lentil Soup
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Transcript
Teen Drinking: Safety vs. Demystification
00:00:00
Speaker
I mean, I'm not foolish. I know my kids have drunk but before they were of age. And it's teenagers' jobs to break the rules. I mean, that's part of the human development process is they have to start coloring outside their lines. They've got to push boundaries. They've got to break the rules. It's just part of it. And you just want to do it where they aren't getting hurt. You know, we have let them have a glass of champagne at the holidays or if they want to have a beer with us, you know, sitting around or whatever. we don't prohibit it we're not like saying yes let's like drink but if they want something they can
00:00:34
Speaker
and usually it's like a sip and then they put it down it's not a right of passage necessarily but i'm trying to demystify the process
00:00:46
Speaker
We're three sisters who grew up in the Midwest together, but have since spread across the country.
Meet the Hosts: Sisterly Bonding
00:00:52
Speaker
I live in Los Angeles. I'm in Nashville. And I live in Philadelphia. We are all married with children. We've all had careers, but now we stay at home with our families. We've all been through ups and downs that come along with life and have always helped each other through shared stories and laugh together. We welcome all of you into our daily conversations and hope you have some fun with us. So let's jump in. What's up, fishes? Hello. What's up? Let's get into it. What's the buzz?
Tribute to Teri Garr and Quincy Jones
00:01:26
Speaker
So some sad things happened this week. Terry Garr passed away. Do you all remember her from? Mr. Mom. Mr. Mom and Tootsie. She was amazing. And she was also Phoebe's mom in Friends, if you all watch that. So thinking about her. And then Quincy Jones died too. Icon. Yeah, he's an icon. Total icon.
Martha Stewart: Admiration and Critique
00:01:53
Speaker
So we also had an election, but I did not watch it. I instead chose to watch Martha Stewart, the documentary on Netflix. Has anybody watched this? I have not watched this yet. You have not watched it? I thought it was really well done. I thought it was interesting. She was like the first influencer and I didn't really put it all together until they spelled it out for us in this documentary. I know she invokes a lot of strong feelings in people because she is all about things being perfect. You know, it's like every single book she's done, every single thing she does is all about perfection, which is impossible to replicate in my opinion. But I will say I was super fascinated because she is the first person to think about certain things like starting a magazine, writing all these books, doing TV shows, making a conglomerate, like this huge company that she made. Like she actually is just like an amazing force. And I was fascinated listening to her. She is not a warm, fuzzy person. Like I don't know if she and I could be friends because she's so Martha, but I thought it was, it was interesting. I feel like she, I mean, I like what she does, but she's too stuffy for me. I don't know what it is about her, but I just feel like maybe some of it's like fake. I don't know. Like the Snoop Dogg thing with her and they're like good friends. I actually love those two together. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about her. And then the insider training thing, I'm just like, I would never do that. So that kind of always made her like a little bit lower on my list. A little tainted. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I mean, that could have been people that she was trusting to give her advice. I mean, I don't want to say I'm in her shoes, but I don't know. There's just always been something about her that's bothered me. I don't think it was on the up and up. I watched it. I don't think it was on the up and up. I don't think she was completely forthcoming with it, but I don't know if she deserved to go to jail. I don't know if she did anything more egregious than lots of people do. I'm not sure about that. I'm not an attorney, but my sense was that she maybe was prosecuted because they simply didn't like her and that she gave them an opening, which they could. But I will say- Well, they could have been making an example. You know how they- They could have been making an example. But I do think that she does come from a background of a little bit of trauma. Like I think that she had a tough upbringing. And I think when you're not nurtured and you grow up tough like that, I think that's a tough thing. So she chose, but she used that and she was this amazing businesswoman. Was she a great friend? Was she a great mother? I don't know. Do I want to go have tea with her? Like I want to with Ina? I don't I don't think so. But I have mad respect for the billions that she created. And she, you know, you've got to give it to her. She has a lot of grit and she definitely thought outside the box and she broke glass. So that I am very, I admire her for that. Yeah. I don't know that I want to go have tea with her, but I, you know, she's like out of place or I'm not sitting having tea with you, Kathy. You have a stain on your shirt. Yeah. I mean, I don't know, but it was, it was, it was fascinating. And I was like, Oh, this is two hours. Like I'm not going to get through this, but I was, I was hooked the entire time. So it got my attention. I thought it was really interesting. It was fascinating. Yeah, she's a force. Kath, what's going on, PA? So Pennsylvania is definitely making the buzz lately. I don't know what's going on. It's a hot ticket. It's like a hot state. I don't know.
Celebrity Responsibility: Jason Kelsey's Incident
00:06:20
Speaker
Well, Jason Kelsey got himself in a little bit of trouble last weekend because he heckled a fan that was not saying some nice things about his brother. And I get that he's standing up for his brother, but he took the guy's phone, slammed it to the ground and then took it from him. So I was like, I think personally, I was a little bit disappointed in his behavior because I feel like he is such a celebrity that he should be above that kind of thing. I mean, everyone's these kids are looking up to him. They're watching his every move. And that's something that he should not be doing. I mean, he should have said he could have said something to the kid, you know, back if he wasn't happy with him, obviously. But I think destroying his property is not a cool thing. It's my opinion. But I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, I heard him talk about this. He gave a statement about it. And I thought it was very, I thought it was very heartfelt. And he said that he lost his temper. He said he responded hate with hate. And he said, I should have just walked away. And he regrets not walking away. I think that it's difficult. I think it's difficult to rise above it. But the unfortunate thing, in my opinion, whether you're a celebrity or not, and maybe you all don't agree or you do agree, I don't think that you can behave this way just because somebody is behaving terribly against you. I just don't think you can take their property and destroy it. Right. Because because they're hurting your feelings. I am not condoning what this heckler did. I don't think that that's okay. But I do wish that we could handle our feelings in a more positive way instead of lashing out at each other all the time. But again, that's the Pollyanna in me that I just, you know, I wish we could all be a little bit better. So what do you think he should have done? He apologized. And I do think he felt bad for that. But he has a lot riding on that. I mean, he has so many endorsements from all these companies. I mean, I'm sure there's something in his contract that says if you, you know, have some kind of altercation or something, I mean, he could get dropped. So it's like a bigger deal than just, you know, this altercation. Like, I don't know. I just think he, people do make mistakes and maybe he's learning from it. I mean, it's hard to put yourself in his shoes, but I do think he should be above that though. I would feel bad if I hurt somebody's like phone. Property. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that, I don't know. That's me personally. I would feel bad. Just walk away. Is that what he should have done? It's just look at him. Well, he should have probably like said a few words and walked away. Like, I mean, in that situation, I do think he should have walked away. I mean, it's different if he would have put his hands on him physically or tried to assault him. It was words and words are not nice and they are hurtful. But I do feel like sometimes we're trying to teach our kids. I'm trying to teach my daughter that you have to like walk away sometimes less is more. Right. You know, like don't add fuel to the fire. And, you know, and then we see this with Jason Kelsey, like, you know, adding fuel to the fire and taking his property and throwing it to the ground. I just feel like we need to work on being a little bit better about we can express our feelings without being so over the top, in my opinion. I just think people need to be nicer. Like what is wrong with people? Tensions are high. For whatever reason, we just, we are, I feel like we are a very hot button country right now. Like, I just feel like everybody's ready for a tussle. Like I think I said last week, somebody bumped into me in the grocery store and I just smiled at them and it immediately deescalated them. Not everybody's coming at you. But in this case, I mean, this guy was out of line. Yes, I totally agree with you. Everybody doesn't need to hear your thoughts on everything. Right. Just to put people out there. Totally. Totally. Be quiet. Just be quiet. All right. We have something nice to say. Don't say anything at all. We've drummed on a long time about Jason Kelsey. What else is happening in PA? What else is the buzz out there? There is more bonus buzz. Okay.
Parental Responsibility: The High School Party Raid
00:10:47
Speaker
Bonus buzz. There also was a school party last weekend that I guess got out of hand. There was like a couple hundred kids there. And I guess the parents that hosted the party had porta potties. I think someone told me they had security there. I don't know if that is true, but that's what I was told. But the cops raided the party and we think they raided the party because another high school team is a rival and they were like trying to narc on them. So, I mean, you know, can you imagine these, the cops show up? Well, they also found kids doing drugs in the basement. So the parents were arrested and handcuffed and put in the, you know, the car. I mean, in front of everyone. And I believe they spent like over more than a night in jail. Which, okay, just I can't even fathom that. I don't think any of us would do well in jail. That would not be good for me. I mean, I rock at the thought of jail. Honestly, I would be very popular in jail. Oh, gosh. I mean, I can't even imagine. There's a lot to unpack there. I mean, first of all, like a party that parents feel like they have to get porta potties for because you're expecting so many people that your house can't handle the bathroom situation. There's a lot wrong with this. Right. I mean, and then the other thing is, I mean, did the parents just say, this is just a big open house, a festival, just come and it's a place to hang out. Or are they sanctioning underage drinking and the drugs being done in the basement? Like, I guess my thing is, did they know about it? What were the parents end game? What did they think? I'm not trying to shame them, but kind of also like, what did you expect was going to happen when you were opening your doors to this big, it kind of feels like a rave. It seemed like it was a rave. You know, to be honest, I actually don't know. You know, we've hosted a couple things at our house just because we have two high schoolers. And, you know, what's happened with these young kids is they'll like sneak it in. You won't even know that it's around. So it's like the parents may be completely against it, but they might have, they, they might just have no idea that it's going on. And, and there's actually people that you can, these kids can call that are like basically a carrier for this, you know, whatever you want to have at this party and they'll bring it to you like an Uber. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy what's happening with these kids. And I'm always like getting sweaty when my son's like, can I have people over? I mean, I don't know how to handle it. It's just gotten to be, it can get out of hand. But I think having porta potties is definitely a sign that these parents were aware that it was escalating to a huge party. I mean, it's a tricky situation, right? Because you want, I want to have an open door policy for us to have our kids. I want you guys to have a place to hang out. It's fine. But I can't, I can't sanction you breaking the law. Like you can't drink until you're 21. So I can't have you come here and try to drink and hang out, but your friends can come and hang out all day long that they, that you want. I'm happy to have them. And I've always said, if you go to a party and you get in a situation and you get in trouble or you need help, call. No questions asked. We'll come and we'll get you. And no questions asked again. But I just can't sanction these young kids breaking the law, even though I know that they think it's the rite of passage, but I also don't want to get in trouble. And honestly, I don't want that. I don't want that on my shoulders. Like what if something were to happen to them and it was on my watch? Like I couldn't live with myself. That's what weighs on me. It's like, you don't want anyone to get hurt. Like, you know, with a party, like that's something that I could not live with. But I don't know. It's a very tricky situation. I think that those parents were asking for trouble. Yeah, I think so too. There's no way you can monitor that size of a party. And bonus, expect people to color within the lines. So I think that's just, you're just, it's just not right. You set yourself up for failure there. And it's teenagers' jobs to break the rules. I mean, that's part of the human development process is they have to start coloring outside their lines. They got to push boundaries. They got to break the rules. It's just part of it. And you just want to do it where they aren't getting hurt. I think, you know, it's different nowadays too, because with Uber and Lyft and all the driving services, like I know, I mean, I'm not foolish. I know my kids have drunk before they were of age. I have somebody of age, one a year away, and then I have a senior. And, you know, we have let them have a glass of champagne at the holidays, or if they want to have a beer with us, you know, sitting around or whatever, we don't prohibit it. We're not like saying, yes, let's like drink, but if they want something, they can. And usually it's like a sip and then they put it down. And I know we have kids, like small, five, three, five kids here regularly. And I'll just say, listen, you guys can't be drinking. And I think most of the time they don't. I will say they are, like you said, Kathy, kind of good at hiding. And I feel like it's fine if I don't find out about it. But if I find out about it, then I got to deal with it. So I'm very open with them. Like, listen, you guys, you can't drink and drive. I don't want, I'm not sanctioning this. So, you know, if they find out about it, you know, okay, I turn a blind eye only because I feel like it's, it's not a rite of passage necessarily, but I'm trying to demystify, you know, the process.
Teen Safety: Alcohol vs. Unregulated Drugs
00:17:40
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like kids these days are good about Ubering. Yes. We've kind of instilled it, the whole drinking and driving thing. Yes. And they're good. They don't do it. We grew up, Uber was not a thing. Right. I do think that's a great service that we have now. The drug thing really bothers me. And I will say something kind of controversial. Like if kids are going to break the rules, I'd rather have them drink than smoke pot or do other things. My rationale for that is alcohol, if you look at the label, you know what's in there. It's regulated. You know how much alcohol you're, if you choose to over imbibe, that's on you, but you know what you're consuming. Everybody is like smoking weed and like getting high and all this stuff nowadays. You don't know what you're drinking. You don't know what you're ingesting because it's not regulated. And so I, I don't like that. And I don't like that. We don't really have a way of testing if you're high or not. Like I went out to Portland, Oregon, like a year ago. I swear my cabbie was high. Which is scary. He's driving you around. I was in the middle of nowhere going from one town to another with a high driver. And I was like, I remember I was texting my husband like, I might not make it. I don't know. I would have him pull over, but there's no, we're literally in the middle of nowhere. I don't know what I would do. So I think the drug thing is a huge problem. I don't like that people think it's not a big deal. I, you know, stop smoking stuff, people. It's yucky for your lungs. And you don't even know what's in that shit. Well, the other thing is, is like fentanyl is such a big thing, right? And it's so scary. And it's so scary. And the other tiny little thing is, it's not tiny, it's huge, is what I say to my kids all the time, is that you don't know what your brain's going to do with certain drugs, with drugs, just in general. And if they're laced with something, like it could open up a door that you honestly cannot close again, and it will change you forever. So it's like, and you don't know if you're that person until you actually ingest it. So it's not worth the risk of completely rewiring your brain for this moment of time. So just don't do it. Don't do drugs. It's not worth it. You know, as Nancy Reagan used to say, say no to drugs. Yes, say no. Nancy Reagan had that one right. Say no to drugs. She had that one right. Yeah, amazing.
Friendsgiving: Tradition and Significance
00:20:24
Speaker
So before we move on, you guys, we're going to talk about everything Friendsgiving because we're in that holiday season. But before we jump into it, I just want to remind you all to please rate, review, subscribe, and please continue to tell your three favorite fishes and have them tell their favorite three fishes to like and subscribe to our podcast and jump into the conversation. Around Halloween time, I really do start thinking about the holidays. It's like the season kind of kicks off. And in November, of course, we have Thanksgiving. And so we were thinking that we would talk about Friendsgiving, which is something two of our three kids have done several times. And it's just, oh, Friendsgiving is kind of a new word. It just got put into the dictionary in 2020. I love that you know that, that it just, it's a word now. It's actually real. It's a real word. And it's just what it is. It's just like a gathering of your friends. So, you know, a lot of times Thanksgiving meal or Thanksgiving is with your family. Friendsgiving is obviously with your friends. And so we have some ideas of how you could host like all the different themes you could do for a friendsgiving. But I did just read a little article. So Harvard did this research. They looked at 309,000 people and found that people who don't have strong friendships tend to be more depressed, have later life cognitive decline, and frightening enough, we're more likely to die at a younger age. So it's important to, you know, nurture those tight friendships. And this one way to do it is to host a Friendsgiving. And I think, you know, we kind of, we're kind of party girls. If the listeners are picking up on that, the last three podcasts, we love to get together with people. We love a party. We love our food and drink. And so some of us like to host at our houses and some of us like to go out and some of us like both. So, you know, what are some ways that you guys have celebrated Friendsgiving in the past? Kathy? So I've gone to a luncheon before, which is kind of like, um, a grab bag where you bring one gift and then you, you know, you guys exchange one gift among everybody. Yeah. Um, and I love it because it's like, we're having a nice little lunch and we're just chatting away and then we're just reaffirming our friendships with each other, which I feel like is such a nice way to do it. It warms my heart when that happens because it's like when your friend is like, you mean a lot to me. I mean, that's kind of a powerful thing. You get those warm fuzzies, you know, you're just, it's like a nice thing. Yes. You know, sometimes Thanksgiving or the holidays in general can be stressful with your families, like depending on who it is, but Friendsgiving is not stressful to me. It's just very nice. It's a nice excuse, right, to get together. It is. It's a good excuse to get together. So Nancy, I think you came up with some ideas. So like you could do a charcuterie board contest with your friends, which would be fun on. You could host an ice cream bar with maybe like a special cocktail. You could do a movie marathon with popcorn, which is awesome. I like that idea. I like that idea too. You could do a potluck, which is what my girls do when they invite people over. And actually it's so sweet because the times that they've done it, they like get out the linen tablecloths and they get out candles and they, you know, set a really pretty table and then everybody brings something. And I love that for them. Or, you know, I, I think we all did this during COVID. It's like a Zoom. A Zoom cocktail hour. Yeah. A Zoom friends giving. I think if you, we could do that. I like that idea a lot too, because even though we all live, a couple of my good friends really, they live far from me. You all live far from me. I do like that idea about bringing back that Zoom idea. And another tiny little thing that you did not mention that I'm thinking about for this year. I'm not thinking about it. I'm going to do it. But I was invited to a Friendsgiving this year just recently. So this topic is like appropriate. And the last time I saw these group of ladies, my friend who was hosting us, she was having us over for cheese and wine. And I come in and I go into her kitchen and she's like, which glass do you want? And it looked like a Bud vase. And then she had like a Dixie cup and something else. And I was like, I was like looking at her and she started laughing. She's like, yeah, this is what they're doing now at the cocktail parties. Like these are the kind of how they're serving glass. Like she's trying to spin it. But to put some context in it, this friend of mine is always stressed to the nines. She always, you know, has everything just perfect. But she started laughing. She's like, Nancy, I'm so embarrassed. She's like, I realize I'm the only one in my house that drinks wine. And I don't know, I must have broken all my wine glasses. I don't have any. So I think this, when I go to this particular Friendsgiving, it's just a couple of us who I get together with like once a month. And I think I'm going to go and find inexpensive, wine glasses and I'm going to gift them each a wine glass. So when we get together for our once a month chats, they're going to each have their own individual wine glass. That's so cute. That's a good idea. Well, you know, I think it is always nice to, it's always nice to bring the hostess a gift, like something little, you know, I've done that in the past too. And I actually posted some gifts in the show notes are just some inexpensive ideas of just like tea towels or wooden spoons that have lovely little expressions on them about friendship, which I always love. I mean, maybe I'm a sucker. I don't know. I think they're kind of cool to get. Well, I think it's a nice gift in the sense of tea towels. They get dirty and they get stained. Yeah, they don't last. Yeah. It. Yeah, exactly. Um, if you're hosting a party, you know, something else that I think all three of us love is a game.
Creative Friendsgiving Ideas
00:27:53
Speaker
And I think I'm going to buy a couple of games, not for Friendsgiving, but for Thanksgiving. Kathy, you have, um, you put a link at the, in the show notes for a company, right? Yeah. Well, I was just kind of researching it because I do love games. Yes, you do. I mean, we always have a game. Every holiday, we do something. Always, yes. I don't know what that says about us growing up, but mom and dad must have had us competitive because we are real competitive with our games at every event. Yeah. Quarterline not healthy. It could be, I don't know, but these are nice games. I actually found this company I was researching and it's called big Dot of Happiness. And it turns out this company is from Wisconsin. And I guess that's why I like it because it's from the Midwest. But she started it in 1999 and she and her husband grew this company. But she, first of all, made all these like paper goods by hand. And they were all they're all like, you know, party supplies for birthdays, you know, births, they're the holiday parties, they're yard signs. I mean, you could go on big.ofhappiness.com and look for yourself, but they have everything you would ever need for any special event. But I just kind of like their story about how they do it for like 20 years. And then they actually just sold it a couple of years ago, but their stuff looks cool. And it does, you know, I looked, I'm going to buy that one that it's like you wear a Turkey on your head and then you put a feather on it. It has a word. It's like that headbands game. I think I'm going to get that. I actually saw that too. I think I might do that as well for Thanksgiving. They had a Friendsgiving one that was kind of like four games you could buy for like $15. And it's like, get to know your friend better. Or do you like this or that? Or you're thankful for this. I mean, it was kind of, I thought, a cute idea. So if you guys are interested, you could look at the show notes and you can check it out. I love it. Totally doing that. I love that idea. Friendsgiving. Yeah. It's the best. Our friends have to be celebrated. And I honestly think we're all just looking, or at least I'm always looking for just some joy, some fun, some light. Yeah. It's a good excuse to be able to. I mean, that's what life's about, right? Yeah. You have to love your people. Well, happy Friendsgiving to everyone out there. We want to hear how your friends giving goes. Please give us your tips, the things that you loved about your Friendsgiving, maybe some things you wish you would have done differently, and we'll log it for next year. So let us know. Let us know. Sounds good. We'd love your feedback. Yeah. Girls, before we sign off, I wanted to circle back really quickly as we're talking about Friendsgiving. I'm thinking about the kitchen and organizing. Do y'all remember when we had Dunk on a few weeks ago and she was talking about organizing? I have a lazy Susan that I mentioned that I had filled with Tupper. And she's like, I don't know if I would use Tupperware for that. I would use, you know, so I reorganized that and I moved food in there, like canned goods and things, the things that I'm using more. And I moved Tupperware out. And I will tell you that that tip for me has been huge. And I'm liking how the flow of the kitchen is working better. So I just want to give a shout out to Dunk that for me, that was a great tip. What's for dinner, girls? My friend Donna shared this lentil soup recipe with me. She says it's very, you you know know, hearty and it's great for this time of year. So I posted it in the show notes. Um, and it's relatively easy to make. So that's what we're having for dinner tonight with some bread. It's good. That sounds great. We are going to just have, um, fried perch. I'm going to find fried perch or some sort of, I don't know if I'll be able to find perch, but like a light fish in honor of Tim's Papa's birthday. It would have been his birthday today. And that was his favorite meal. So I am going to make some sort of fried fish and I'm going to bake a pie because he loved pie. So what kind of pie? He liked any kind of pie, but I think his favorite was a berry pie. So I don't, I don't know if I have it in me to make a berry pie because I've never done that before, but maybe an apple pie or a cherry pie or something. But just, you know, doing that for Tim to kind of a shout out to his grandpa. Well, I'm not doing anything homemade tonight. We're going for sushi. We have a hockey game, a high school hockey game, and the rink is right by the sushi place that we kind of like so nice we're gonna do that i love that going out to dinner well we want to thank you for listening to our podcast and letting us sisters jump into your day please make sure to follow rate and review us we would love to have your feedback also please share our podcast with three of your favorite little fishes so we can grow.
00:33:47
Speaker
have a great week and a wonderful weekend