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6. Saying "I'm Fine" is Holding You Back
13 Plays3 months ago
In this episode of The Unstuck Mom Podcast, we’re exploring why moms often hide their emotions and the impact it has on their well-being and relationships. Learn why honesty about your needs is so powerful and discover three simple steps to help you express how you’re really feeling.
It’s time to stop downplaying your struggles and start creating deeper connections—with yourself, your loved ones, and your kids. Tune in to learn how to make small but meaningful changes that will empower you to ask for help and model emotional honesty for your family.
Looking for more personalized support? Sign up for a free mini-session at theunstuckmom.com/workwithme.
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Transcript
Introduction to Unstuck Mom Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to the Unstuck Mom podcast, where we dive deep into transforming your mindset to create the life you want and deserve. I'm Bethany. I'm here to help you break free from what's holding you back so you can thrive in motherhood and beyond. Whether it's reclaiming your sense of self, strengthening your relationship with your partner and kids, or building the confidence to tackle anything life throws your way, every episode is designed to empower you with practical tools and a fresh perspective. So are you ready to get unstuck?
Meet Bethany: Life Coach for Moms
00:00:31
Speaker
Let's go.
00:00:37
Speaker
Hi friends and welcome back to the Unstuck Mom podcast. I'm Bethany. I'm a life coach who's dedicated to helping moms who feel overwhelmed and stuck rediscover their confidence and create a life they love.
New Year Kickoff 2025
00:00:50
Speaker
So first of all, I want to say Happy New Year. It's our first official episode of 2025 and I hope that you are starting off with a bang.
Impact of Downplaying Emotions
00:01:02
Speaker
So today we're going to be tackling something that we've all done, downplaying how we're really feeling. Maybe someone asks, how are you? And instead of being honest, you give them a quick answer that just brushes it off. But holding back like this isn't helping anyone, especially not yourself. In this episode, we'll explore why we default to these surface level answers and how this habit is impacting us. And then three steps you can take to start expressing what you truly need.
00:01:31
Speaker
So let's get into it. First, let's start by understanding why it feels easier to hold back instead of being truthful about how we're doing. First, it's a form of self-protection. By giving a neutral response, we avoid feeling vulnerable. But here's the truth. When we brush off our emotions, we're not protecting ourselves, we're isolating ourselves. We create a gap between how we feel and then how others perceive us.
00:01:59
Speaker
Think about a time when someone asked how you were, you gave a quick non-committal answer. Maybe you were exhausted or overwhelmed or struggling, but you didn't feel like you could share that.
Modeling Vulnerability for Children
00:02:09
Speaker
What's the result? That person didn't have a chance to support you. When we hide our needs, we lose opportunities to connect with other people and receive the help that we actually deserve.
00:02:21
Speaker
This habit can also lead to emotional exhaustion. So suppressing your feelings doesn't make them go away. It just stores them up until you hit a breaking point. For moms, this can look like snapping at your kids or feeling completely drained or wondering why no one seems to understand what you're going through. And let's not forget the message that we're sending to our kids. Our children watch us and learn how to navigate their own emotions by seeing how we handle ours.
00:02:48
Speaker
If they see us ignoring or dismissing our own feelings, they may grow up believing that they need to do the same. But if we model vulnerability and honesty, we teach them that it's okay to ask for help and to express their emotions.
Practicing Emotional Honesty
00:03:05
Speaker
So how do we move away from the surface level answers and start being more open about what we need? Here are three steps to help you make that shift.
00:03:15
Speaker
Step one is to pause and check in with yourself. Before you respond automatically, take an actual moment to really ask yourself, how am I feeling right now? It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to check in, but this small act of mindfulness can make a huge difference.
00:03:36
Speaker
And here's a tip, try journaling at the end of each day. Write down one time when you avoided sharing your true feelings or saying what was really on your mind. What were you really feeling in that moment? What could you have said in that moment instead of hiding what you were feeling or thinking? Over time, this practice can help you get more comfortable with identifying and expressing your emotions because If you're practicing in hindsight, that's a really, really good way to be able to create more awareness in the moment in the future. Step two is to start small with vulnerability.
00:04:16
Speaker
You don't have to dive into the deep end of emotional honesty all at once. I know it's really challenging, especially if you haven't done that before. So start small with someone that you actually trust. Instead of brushing off your feelings, just try being slightly more open. For example, if a friend asks how you're doing, you could say, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed today, or I'm okay, but it's been a tough week.
00:04:40
Speaker
It might feel awkward at first, but vulnerability is a muscle. The more you practice it, the
Communicating Needs Effectively
00:04:45
Speaker
stronger it gets. And remember, being honest about your emotions is not a sign of weakness. It's an act of courage. When you can say how you're really doing, you're giving others permission to do the same.
00:04:58
Speaker
And step three is to ask for specific help. Once you've started practicing honesty, the next step is to communicate what you need. People often want to help but don't know how to support you unless you tell them. So instead of hinting or hoping someone will notice that you need support, and try being clear and direct. we've all We've all tried doing the secret mind reading. It doesn't work. People don't pick up on what you need. They can't read your mind. And as much as I would love that to be true, unfortunately, it is not. So for example, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you might say to your partner, I need 30 minutes to recharge. Could you take care of the kids while I go for a walk?
00:05:43
Speaker
Or if you're feeling stressed out, you could tell a friend, I'm having a tough day. Could we talk for a bit? Here's a simple script. I'm feeling blank. Could you help buy blank?
00:05:57
Speaker
So I'm feeling emotion. Film the emotion. Could you help buy and fill that in with whatever specific request you think would be helpful?
Benefits of Embracing Vulnerability
00:06:09
Speaker
It's clear, it's actionable, and it allows others to show up for you in meaningful ways. Now,
00:06:16
Speaker
there are some common objections to actually doing this. So let's talk about them and then I can give you some reframes. So sometimes people um have the objection of not wanting to burden anyone. So they they think, I don't want to burden others.
00:06:32
Speaker
A reframe that you can use is allowing others to support you strengthens your relationships. Helping someone we care about often makes us feel closer to them. So by letting others help you, you're actually allowing them to feel closer to feel more connected, not burdened.
00:06:52
Speaker
um Another objection would be that I should be able to handle this all on my own. We so often think that we need to carry the whole world on our backs and that is not true. A reframe would be ah that asking for help doesn't mean that you're incapable. It means you're a human. Nobody can do everything alone and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Episode Summary and Affirmation
00:07:19
Speaker
Alright, so let's recap. Today we explored why downplaying your emotions can disconnect you from yourself and others. We talked about the importance of being honest, about how you're feeling, even in small ways, and I shared three steps to help you start expressing your needs. Pausing to check in with yourself, practicing small acts of vulnerability, and asking for specific help.
00:07:44
Speaker
I know this episode was short and sweet, but I do want to leave you with an affirmation, which is this. I am worthy of care and support. By being honest about my needs, I create deeper connections and set examples for my children.
00:08:01
Speaker
So just remember this, you are worthy of care and support. You are worthy of asking for help and receiving help. So I hope you can use this today. Don't forget to journal. If you're not having the easiest time actually utilizing this, you can journal your thoughts at the end of the night of situations that you could have told the truth more or you could have asked for help. It kind of gets your brain going in ways that helps you do that in the moment, in the future.
Invitation to Engage and Subscribe
00:08:30
Speaker
So thank you so much for tuning into this episode of the Unstuck Mom podcast. If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe or leave a review or please share it with a mom friend who you think could benefit from this message. Remember you are doing an amazing job and you're never alone in this journey. And if you're looking for a more personalized one-on-one support, I would love to help you. You can sign up for a free mini coaching session by visiting me at the unstuckmom.com.
00:09:00
Speaker
forward slash work with me. We can work together and I can help you get unstuck. All right, see you next week.