Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
2. Your Future Self
7 Plays13 days ago
What if the key to transforming your life is connecting with the future version of yourself? In this episode of The Unstuck Mom Podcast, we explore how visualizing your future self can provide clarity, motivation, and direction in the chaos of motherhood.
Learn how to:
- Imagine your future self and uncover the life she’s already thriving in.
- Identify the beliefs and habits holding you back.
- Create a roadmap to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
Discover the science behind mental rehearsal and how to start aligning your actions with the life you truly want—one small step at a time. Plus, grab your free 10 Mindset Shifts For Moms guide at theunstuckmom.com/mindsetshifts for practical exercises to deepen this work.
Your future self is closer than you think. Let’s dive in!
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Unstuck Mom Podcast
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to the Unstuck Mom podcast, where we dive deep into transforming your mindset to create the life you want and deserve. I'm Bethany. I'm here to help you break free from what's holding you back so you can thrive in motherhood and beyond. Whether it's reclaiming your sense of self, strengthening your relationship with your partner and kids, or building the confidence to tackle anything life throws your way, every episode is designed to empower you with practical tools and a fresh perspective. So are you ready to get unstuck? Let's go.
00:00:35
Speaker
Hello, hello and welcome back to the Unstuck Mom podcast. If this is your first time tuning in, I'm so glad you're here. My name is Bethany and I know how busy life is so it means so much to me that you're carving out this time to listen. My hope is that you'll come away from this episode feeling inspired and empowered and have some tools to start making real changes in your life. Today
Connecting with Your Future Self
00:00:57
Speaker
we are diving into a concept that can truly transform your life. Connecting with your future self. Now you might be thinking, what does that even mean? I'm barely keeping up with my current self.
00:01:11
Speaker
I get it, but hear me out. This idea can unlock so much clarity, motivation, and direction in your life. Your future self is the version of you who's already living the life you dream about. She's not perfect and she's not a totally different person. She's just you further along the path. She's figured out some of the things that you're struggling with today. She's got the wisdom, she's got the clarity, and she's got the confidence you're looking for.
00:01:38
Speaker
In this episode, we're going to explore who your future self is, why you might feel disconnected from her, and most importantly, how you can start aligning with her right now, even in the middle of the chaos of motherhood. If you stay with me through this episode, I promise you'll walk away with practical tools to start connecting with your future self today.
00:01:57
Speaker
And as always, I've got a free resource to help you take this work deeper. It's called the 10 minute mindset shifts, and it's packed with simple exercises to help you start thinking like your future self. You can download it at the unstuckmom.com forward slash mindset shifts. All right, let's dive in. So let's start with a big question. Who is your future self? I really want you to take a moment and imagine her.
00:02:24
Speaker
Close your eyes if you can. If you're not driving, if you're somewhere safe, please do not get in an accident. But close your eyes. Really picture her in detail. She's the version of you who's living the life you want. She's thriving, she's confident, and she's at peace with herself. What does
Future Beliefs and Habits
00:02:44
Speaker
her life look like? Maybe she wakes up feeling rested because she's learned how to prioritize herself.
00:02:51
Speaker
Maybe she's calm and present with her kids because she's let go of the constant guilt and overwhelm. Maybe she's making decisions with ease, trusting herself instead of doubting every step. And what does her day feel like? Is it peaceful even when things don't go perfectly? Does she feel proud of the way she shows up for herself and her family?
00:03:16
Speaker
For example, let's say you're constantly losing your patience with your kids. Your future self might be the mom who handles tantrums with grace. Or maybe you're stuck in a cycle of feeling like you're not enough no matter what you do.
00:03:31
Speaker
Your future self might be the woman who knows her worth and gives herself permission to rest without guilt. Here's the thing, your future self isn't some fantasy version of you who has zero struggles or endless free time. She's
Impact of Visualization on the Brain
00:03:45
Speaker
you. She's just further along because she's learned how to align her actions and mindset with what truly matters to her.
00:03:52
Speaker
Okay, now I know this might sound a little woo woo to some of you, but let me explain the science behind why visualizing your future self is such a powerful tool. Here's what happens when you vividly imagine something. Your brain lights up as if you're already experiencing it.
00:04:10
Speaker
Neuroscientists have found that the same areas of your brain that activate when you perform an action like running or speaking or solving a problem also activate when you visualize yourself doing that action. This is called mental rehearsal and it's why athletes, performers, even CEOs use visualization to prepare for success. By visualizing your future self, you're essentially training your brain to believe that life is possible.
00:04:37
Speaker
There's also a part of your brain called the reticular activating system, or a RAS, that filters information. It decides what's important and what to focus on. When you consistently visualize your future self and the life you want, your reticular activating system starts to pay more attention to opportunities or ideas or behaviors that align with that vision.
00:04:59
Speaker
For example, let's say your future self is someone who feels calm and organized at home. When you visualize that, your brain starts looking for small ways to create that feeling now, whether it's decluttering one drawer or taking a few deep breaths before diving into the chaos. So visualization isn't just wishful thinking, it's rewiring your brain to believe in your potential and notice the steps to get there.
00:05:22
Speaker
Even with all the
Challenges of Connecting with Future Self
00:05:23
Speaker
science behind it, you might still feel disconnected from your future self. If you're like most moms I work with, you might be thinking, I don't have time to think about the future. I'm just trying to get through today. Or I've tried to make changes before, but I always fall back into old habits.
00:05:39
Speaker
or wanting more for myself feels selfish when my kids need so much for me. Do any of those sound familiar? Here are the most common reasons moms feel disconnected from their future selves. The first one is that you're in survival mode. When your day feels like an endless cycle of making lunches, refereeing sibling arguments, I know that one very well, and collapsing on the couch at the end of the night, it's hard to even think about the future, let alone plan for it.
00:06:08
Speaker
The second reason is that you have a fear of failure. Maybe you've tried to start a new routine or change your mindset before, but it didn't stick. That fear of failing again can make you hesitate to even dream about something different. And the third reason is feeling guilt for wanting more. This one is big. Society tells moms that wanting something for yourself, that's time,
00:06:31
Speaker
space, energy, joy. That's selfish. But here is the truth. When you thrive, your family thrives. I know we have all heard this as moms, like you can't pour from an empty cup. It's so easy to get stuck in the cycle of losing yourself or giving more of yourself than you really have the capacity to.
00:06:54
Speaker
until you're totally depleted. So when you're depleted, it seems difficult to even think about or want something more for the future. Let me tell you, you can't get any different result just continuing to do what you've always done. And visualizing your future self or a version of you that you really want to be can be the very first step it takes you to start moving in that direction. So I'm going to give you some steps on how to connect with that version of yourself so that you can get moving into a positive upward spiral into a better version of you.
Steps to Visualize Future Self
00:07:38
Speaker
So step one is one we kind of already covered, but it is to actually visualize your future self. That means spending time creating pictures in your brain and spending time in that image.
00:07:54
Speaker
visualizing exactly what your future self is doing exactly what your future self is feeling experiencing thinking all of the above. The great thing is that you can just do this in small spurts throughout the day. This does not have to be some long-winded time-consuming thing that you do. The time that I like to imagine my future self is when I'm already doing something else or when I'm getting ready for bed or like when I'm in the shower. Shower is a great time to
00:08:25
Speaker
Imagine or visualize. If you're having a hard time creating images or coming up with different things to picture yourself doing or being, then you can just use some questions to kind of get your brain going. So some questions that you can ask yourself to prompt yourself to imagine what your future self would be like or things like, how does she feel on a day to day basis?
00:08:52
Speaker
like What is the feeling she is experiencing on a general level in comparison to like your day to day now? What's different? What does balance look like for her? I even like getting down to like the very details. I think really getting a good picture as detailed as possible. So what does her hair look like? What is she wearing?
00:09:21
Speaker
Where is she going? How she's spending her day? What kind of scenarios does she find herself in? And it doesn't have to be realistic or anything like that. You can dream it up as big or as different as you want. This is your future self. The sky's the limit.
00:09:40
Speaker
Now you can anchor some of your beliefs and your habits by asking questions like, what does she believe about herself, her abilities, or her worth? What does she really believe about herself, her abilities, and her worth? What are her priorities?
00:10:00
Speaker
It can also be very beneficial to write these down on paper. And trust me when I say I understand that not all of us are going to write it down on paper, but your brain will be able to process it in a different way when it actually gets down on paper.
00:10:18
Speaker
So I encourage you when you're asking yourself these questions you're visualizing, answer them and write it down.
Bridging Gaps Between Present and Future
00:10:24
Speaker
Now the second step to becoming your future self is to identify the gap. We need to identify the gap between where you are right now and where she is. So we're gonna explore how to recognize the gap and turn that into a roadmap for change. If you can understand where you're starting from and what exactly needs to shift, that's how you get to that next level.
00:10:47
Speaker
Let's start by reflecting on a few key questions. First, think about what your future self believes, about life, about herself, and about what's possible for her. What are the beliefs that support her success, her happiness, and her confidence?
00:11:05
Speaker
Maybe she believes that more peace is possible, even if she's juggling multiple responsibilities. Maybe she believes she's worthy of taking time for herself. Maybe she believes that she's capable of handling whatever life throws her way. Now ask yourself, and this is a big one. I really want you to pay attention to this. Ask yourself, what does she believe that I don't believe yet?
00:11:31
Speaker
Okay, this is such a powerful question. What does she believe that I don't believe yet? This will give you so much insight and your brain will find the answer. So you just have to ask the question and actually sit with that for a minute and really really think about it.
00:11:52
Speaker
Maybe you've been stuck in a mindset of scarcity, feeling like there's never enough time or energy or resources. Maybe you've doubted your self worth telling yourself that putting your needs first is selfish. Your future self though is confident. She's secure and she's clear about what she values. So where is the gap between those beliefs? Another way to identify the gap is by looking at the habits or routines that your future self has adopted. Let's think about this. What does she do on a day to day basis that helps her maintain balance?
00:12:25
Speaker
have great confidence and just general well-being. Maybe she prioritizes a morning routine or she sets clear boundaries or she practices regular self-care. Does she keep her environment organized? Does she make time for relaxation even when life gets busy? And now think about your current routines. Are you making time for those same things?
00:12:49
Speaker
or like many and most of us, are you caught up in the rush of daily tasks without a moment to slow down? Again, the question is, what is she doing that I'm not doing yet? What are the small changes I can make right now to close that gap? Here's the key though. This is not about judgment. It's not about criticizing where you are or feeling bad about your current habits. This is about becoming aware of the differences so you can create a plan for moving forward.
00:13:20
Speaker
So I don't want you sitting and feeling guilty or bad about where you are. You are simply a human being and that's that. There is no benefit to feeling guilt or shame when it comes to wanting better for ourselves. So I want you to take a moment now and reflect on those two questions. So what beliefs does your future self hold that you don't believe yet? And what habits or routines does she have that you haven't adopted yet?
00:13:47
Speaker
pause to really think about it. Feel free to journal these thoughts if you're able to getting them out of your head and onto paper again can make them feel more concrete and actionable. The most important thing here is that you are creating awareness and by identifying the gap you now have a clearer vision of where you are and where you want to go and with that clarity we can begin to shift toward the life that your future self is living.
Acting as Your Future Self
00:14:12
Speaker
So once you have identified the gap or the areas where your current self is different than your future self, that's where we get on to the next step, which is the most was fun in my opinion. I don't know, I love visualizing, but this is a really fun one too. And that is step three, to act as if.
00:14:31
Speaker
This is where the magic happens. So you might be thinking, okay, but how do I start acting like someone I'm not? And I get it. i It can feel a little bit awkward at first, but trust me, this is a game changer and I'm going to break it down for you.
00:14:45
Speaker
So the idea behind acting as if is rooted in the psychology that behavior shapes identity. So in other words, when you act in alignment with the person you want to become, you start to internalize those behaviors and over time you begin to believe them to be true about yourself. So think about it. When you practice a new behavior consistently, your brain starts to form new neural pathways. And the more you do it, the more natural it feels.
00:15:12
Speaker
It's like when you first learned how to drive a car, it just felt strange and unfamiliar. But now you barely have to think about it. You just drive and you just know what to do without thinking about it. The same goes for your identity. And I'm going to give you two principles that this is based off of. um There's a bunch of different science behind it, but I'm going to give you just two that I thought were really interesting. And the first one is something called the self-perception theory. And this is a theory that was proposed by a psychologist named Darryl Bem.
00:15:40
Speaker
And it suggests that we infer our attitudes and beliefs by observing our behavior. So acting as if you already embody your future self helps your mind align your identity with those behaviors. For example, if you act as if you were disciplined by sticking to a small daily routines, your brain begins to believe, I am disciplined in this area, because it sees evidence in your actions. And another area that this is true is something called embodied cognition.
00:16:07
Speaker
So embodied cognition studies show that physical actions can influence mental states. For example, adopting power poses or standing tall can increase feelings of confidence because your body is communicating with your brain. So for example, if you are acting as if your future self by taking care of your health by drinking water or stretching, it not only fulfills the action, but it also signals to your brain that you value health and therefore reinforces your identity shift.
00:16:34
Speaker
So both of these concepts are actually teaching us that we can change our brains by acting as if so How do we begin?
Conclusion and Resources
00:16:43
Speaker
Let's start small. You don't have to make massive changes all at once. In fact, those tiny little steps are often the most powerful when it comes to change. So let's take an example from the future self we've been imagining. Maybe she's someone who feels like she's in control of her time and maybe she sets clear boundaries with her family, her friends, and even herself. Now I want you to think about one small action
00:17:07
Speaker
that you can take today that aligns with that future self. So maybe it's saying no to an extra commitment, or maybe it's taking five minutes to breathe and clear your mind, or putting your phone down for a while to focus on something else that's important to you. Maybe your future self feels more confident in your parenting. So right now,
00:17:26
Speaker
you can act as if by intentionally choosing to have a calm response during a challenging moment. Or if your future self is more organized, right now you can take a small action by deciding that for 10 minutes every day you are going to declutter or organize or clean a room that has junk piled up to the ceiling.
00:17:48
Speaker
The real key here is to start with something small but meaningful, something that will begin to shift your identity. And the more that you act as if, the more you'll start to embody that version of yourself. Remember, you don't have to wait for a perfect moment or for everything to be aligned perfectly.
00:18:05
Speaker
Small, imperfect actions are often the best way to make lasting change. And when you do take action and you're taking those small little steps, do not forget to celebrate those small wins because every time you take an action, say it's out of your future selves book, even if it's tiny, acknowledge it, okay? The positive reinforcement will help you build momentum. So with that, this is essentially your challenge.
00:18:32
Speaker
Choose one small thing that you can do today that will help you act as if you were already the person you want to be. It doesn't have to be big, just something that aligns with your future self. So as you move through your day, keep noticing those little moments where you can choose to act as if. If you find yourself struggling in these moments, just ask yourself, what would my future self do in this moment? How would she choose to handle this?
00:19:00
Speaker
That is so helpful. It's such a beneficial question because it takes you outside of yourself. It takes you outside of that current stress or whatever you're going through and it lets you kind of focus and reconfigure your situation based on what you value and and want the most.
00:19:19
Speaker
So that concludes today's episode. I hope you got something beneficial out of it. I hope you can start applying this in your life and start to shift in the direction you want to go. If you want to take this work deeper, don't forget to grab my 10 minute mindset shifts guide. You can download that at the unstuckmom.com forward slash mindset shifts. Again, thank you so much for spending the time with me today. If you liked this episode, don't forget to subscribe and I will see you next week.