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David DeNotaris
31 Plays1 year ago
At 4 years old the doctors told David DeNotaris and his parents that over the next few years he would become Totally Blind.
It’s an amazing story about how his Dad & Mom reacted to the news and how they trained their son to become a Possibility Thinker.
Along the way David became a world champion powerlifter, led the Pennsylvania Department of Labor and Industry Office of Vocational Rehabilitation & authored “Feeling Your Way Through Life”.
Everyone will be able to use some part of this story!
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Transcript
Introduction and Themes
00:00:37
Speaker
Welcome to Russell Jones Speaks, where we explore big issues that matter to parents, grandparents, and kids. We tackle intergenerational issues. Everything that affects parents, grands, and children is on the table. That includes health and fitness, relationships, attitude, family unity, vision, adversity, God, and anything else that might arise. The goal is for you to take away something that you can use in your life immediately.
David Dana Terrace's Inspirational Journey
00:01:04
Speaker
David Dana Terrace is an accomplished professional, thought leader, and author who happens to be totally blind. In spite of adversity, David has built his success on resilience in both corporate and private life. He's led statewide agencies such as the New Jersey Department of Human Services and the Pennsylvania Department of Labor and Industry Office of Vocational Rehabilitation, and is also the author of Feeling Your Way Through Life,
00:01:31
Speaker
where he shares important stories describing how he was able to overcome the diagnosis of retinitis pigmentosa when he was four years old. Today, he is a sought after motivational speaker, assisting leaders and corporations in successfully overcoming challenges and setbacks.
00:01:48
Speaker
David's humor, high energy, and passion for life help audiences develop mindsets to approach times of adversity with a fresh perspective and the skills to move through times of disruption with success and energy. So welcome, David. Russ, it's a privilege to be with you today, my friend. Awesome. So yeah, just to kick this thing off,
00:02:13
Speaker
I'm fired up because I know a lot of your story. I know people are just going to really be blessed by what's going to come out of this.
Overcoming Diagnosis and Family Support
00:02:23
Speaker
And I think that I'd like to start out with and there's a reason for it because I think when we
00:02:31
Speaker
as parents, which you are, when we have that baby and, you know, our wife has that baby, thankfully it's not us, has that baby. And we look at that baby and we have all kinds of hopes and dreams and things in our head for what that baby is going to be like. And we never want our baby to be sick or
00:02:58
Speaker
in any way have trouble. We don't even want our baby to cry. And yet things happen, right? But in your story, it just intrigues me because it didn't start right away. It started when you were about four years old. So if you can, let's pick up that story there when your folks took you to the doctor.
00:03:23
Speaker
So Russ, my parents, well, first, thank you for having me, Russ, and I know that your podcast is encouraging and inspiring and blessing lots of people, so thank you for doing it and thank you for having me on. And I like to tell people that I'm a firm believer, Russ, and it's the three Fs.
00:03:44
Speaker
you know, overcome the challenge of diagnosis of retinitis pigmentosa, it takes the three Fs, faith, family, and friends, Russ, faith, family, and friends, and I'm privileged to call you a friend. And I would say that I was born in Belleville, New Jersey. I came in this world with nothing and I've got all of it left.
00:04:14
Speaker
And so my parents knew that I had a problem. I couldn't focus. They knew that I had a problem with my eyes. They weren't sure what. But you know, I didn't know. I didn't know I couldn't.
00:04:35
Speaker
problem with my house. I didn't figure that out until I got into school and learned that, you know, other people were reading print and I was kind of had to, you know, read, learn other ways because my mother taught me to read like all the letters with the magnetic letters on the refrigerator. You know, my mother would possibility thinker Russ and we're going to see a theme of that throughout this podcast, possibility thinkers, possibility thinkers and possibility doers. So we're at Russ when I was four years old,
00:05:01
Speaker
They finally, they brought me to doctors in New York. They brought me to doctors in Pennsylvania. They brought me to doctors in New Jersey. And finally, one doctor said, Mr. and Mrs. Dino Terrace, we've determined your son has an eye condition retinitis pigmentosa. And he said, David, can you see what this is? And I said, no. He said, oh, that's a big E. That's a big E. David, how about this? You know what this is? And I go, no. I go, David, how old are you? And I said, four years old. He said, do you know that's a picture of a birthday cake?
00:05:30
Speaker
No, he said, can you get closer to it? And I'm like, uh-huh, can you see it now? No, not really. Well, so Mr. and Mrs. Dean of Terrace, and I was sitting on my mother's lap now, Russ. David has an eye condition, retinitis pigmentosa, and Russ, he went on to tell my parents all the things I wasn't going to be able to do.
00:05:51
Speaker
And I'm not really sure why some experts feel the need to do that. He's not going to be able to learn like the regular kids. He's not going to get an education like the wrestling wrestling. I remember him saying this and he's not going to be able to get an education like the normal kids, the normal kids.
00:06:09
Speaker
He's not going to be able to play sports like normal kids. And then he went on all these things. And then I remember- I love that normal, right? David, I know that normal, right? I mean, you have three kids, like, okay, normal is such a crazy term to use when describing children, right? I mean, there's so many variables. But anyway, I'm sorry to interrupt, but yeah, normal is just a crazy word.
00:06:37
Speaker
Right? Right? And so, you know, like, you know, Russ, I remember like, because of that, like, I know I'm gonna, I tried so hard to be, quote,
00:06:53
Speaker
you know, like, you know, air quotes, normal. I tried so hard to be normal. And then I realized Russ, if people are taking notes, here's a good one. I tried so hard to be different. And I just like to encourage people to try really hard to be yourself. Be yourself, Russ, everybody else is taken.
00:07:23
Speaker
But I wanted to be, you know, I wanted to be like everybody else. I wanted to, you know, I wanted to fit in, not to sit out, you know, and, you know, so I was at the doctor's and the doctor and my dad was like rifling question. What about glasses? What context? There's gonna be something you can do. And the doctor interrupted my father. Mr. David Tarras, there's nothing you or anybody else could do. Your son's going to go blind. And
00:07:51
Speaker
you just have to help him figure out what he's gonna do. So I remember leaving the doctor's office that day, Russ, I was holding my mother's hand and we were walking down the long corridor and no one was saying anything. And I remember we got in the elevator and we went down the elevator and no one said anything. And then we went into the big car garage and no one said anything. And we're just walking along
00:08:19
Speaker
And like, you know, I thought it was odd that no one was saying anything. I guess as everyone's just processing this information, your son's going to go blind and there's nothing you can do about it. I guess that's a lot to process. So, you know, we, I, my, my mom, you know, put me in the backseat of the car and, and, uh, she got in the passenger seat. My dad got in the driver's seat and, uh, lit up a cigarette.
00:08:49
Speaker
And my mother says, Dante, what are we going to do now? And the doctor said, Joan, we're not going to listen to that expert. We're going to find the experts to help our son lead a normal life. Russ, you know, like thinking about that now, like
00:09:11
Speaker
Like, I don't know if that was audacity or faith or what, but like getting like a diagnosis like that and to say, we're not gonna listen to that expert. And Russ, that was like, I remember Russ, like that, that took this, like that took this weight off of me when I was this little kid, like, oh, okay, we're not gonna listen to that expert.
00:09:38
Speaker
we're gonna find the experts to figure this out. And so, Russ, if there's a handle that I could put on, you know, I love the minister, Dr. Cook, if any of you ever listened to Dr. Cook and walk with the King Ministries, and he would say, I wanna put a handle on this concept for you so you could take it with you where you live, work, and play. And so if there was a handle I could put on a concept for anybody,
00:10:05
Speaker
is spend your time with possibility thinkers, spend your time with people who are helping you figure things out how.
Mindset and Positive Influences
00:10:13
Speaker
And Russ, I was just telling my daughter this the other day. Right, but just, sorry to interrupt with your daughter, but that's right there, you're talking about your parents' reaction. Yes. During that, those moments, right? That was,
00:10:33
Speaker
you know, there's a big message there, right? The message, right, is not just for you as a kid, right, but the message was, as parents, goodness gracious, okay, we got a diagnosis, all right, we're gonna figure this out. We're gonna, somehow, we're gonna figure this out. And, you know, whatever tools they had way back then, your folks had, whatever, you know, their education, their connections, anything, it all came into play, like,
00:11:04
Speaker
This is our boy, man. We're going to figure this out. We're not going to put the pressure on him. We're going to encourage him. We're going to build him up, and we're going to figure it out. The pressure's on us, but we're not going to burden our son with this. Yes.
00:11:25
Speaker
Russ, I love it. You know, I just wrote down, and Russ, I know that some people are watching, some are listening. This is my braille display. This is what I take notes on. So, you know, you can't just think it, you got to ink it, right? You got to write things down. And I wrote down, you know, don't just freak out, figure it out. Don't freak out, figure it out. Like, we can't freak out. And Russ, you know, I heard someone say this too. Like, a lot of times,
00:11:55
Speaker
you know, our relationship with God or higher power, whatever your higher power you call, I call my higher power God. But like a lot of times your relationship with your parents when you're younger, I think really shapes your whole perspective and
00:12:23
Speaker
You know, my dad just was, you know, he brought us to church. He read the Bible. He could quote Bible verses. He helped me believe that, he told me, David, you're gonna truly figure out what it means to walk by faith and not by sight.
00:12:41
Speaker
And he allowed me to meet other people who were successful, Russ. And like, you know, he just, wherever it was, wherever it was, he helped me meet people. He brought me to work one day to meet his secretary who was deaf. And I thought, why do you want me to meet her, dad? Well, I want you to meet her because, you know, deafness isn't stopping her.
00:13:06
Speaker
And then he met me, meet another gentleman, Mike. And Mike was an accountant and Mike was in a wheelchair.
00:13:14
Speaker
And I'm like, well, Mike, I want you to meet Mike. You can find out how he does his job. And Russ, you know, he and then when I was nine years old, he took me out of school to go speak to the Montclair Lions Club.
Passion for Public Speaking and Teaching Moments
00:13:30
Speaker
And I said, what do they want to hear about? He said, they want to hear about how you do your work and how you play gym. And they and so, Russ, you know, it was that day
00:13:41
Speaker
that I learned that I love speaking in front of groups. Right. We haven't been able to stop you ever since. Right. Right. All right. So dad, okay. So the, so obviously dad and mom set not, not just the, uh,
00:14:00
Speaker
verbally and emotionally, but set the physical home environment to support you, right? Which is all important for, you know, whatever kind of kid you got, the home environment, right? The attitude, everything that goes together. But then, okay, your dad decides what was that term he used about when you went to regular school instead of the school for the blind?
00:14:21
Speaker
mainstreamed. Mainstream. Right. So you're getting, you're getting mainstream, but that brought its own challenges. Right. But there was this great story about that, uh, taking gym class when you always had to sit on the side for gym class until, until Russ one day, um, you know, uh, I, I, I just hated, um,
00:14:49
Speaker
recess because, you know, growing up in Belleville, New Jersey, we didn't have the big grassy fields. We had the black top with the yellow bases painted on, the basketball courts painted on, the tennis courts painted on, the football end zone painted on. We had everything painted on the black top, you know? But I just, I really couldn't see enough to play any of the ball sports. So we had to go outside and, you know, my fourth grade teacher, Ms. Petrillo, would say, what would you like to do? Everyone goes, oh, let's go outside and play softball.
00:15:19
Speaker
And I was like, Oh, God, I didn't really want to do that because I always, you know, have to kind of sit on the side. And, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't make a big deal out of it. I just sat on the side. And so one day Miss Petrillo said, David, we're going to play a softball, but
00:15:36
Speaker
I have an idea, and I was wondering if you'd want to try, and I said, what's that, Ms. Pachella? She said, I'll bounce the ball. Couldn't do this on a grassy field. I'll bounce the ball up to the plate, and it'll bounce once, it'll bounce twice, and the second time, then you hear it, and you could hit it. I said, yeah, yeah. So,
00:15:59
Speaker
Uh, she, she mounts. Okay class, everyone be quiet. Cause you know, gym class, you know, ninth graders, everybody's screaming. Everyone be quiet. Okay.
00:16:08
Speaker
Bounceable once, bounceable twice, swing, miss, bounceable once, bounceable, swing, bounceable once, bounceable. Russ, I hit it. I really hit it. I hit it good. And it is high. It is far. It is gone. Right. It is gone. An A-bomb. Oh, that was a long time ago. So Yankee fans and John Sterling, yes. So I hit it. I was able to run the first. And I was in the game, Russ.
00:16:36
Speaker
I was in the game and she said, Dave, you got to keep your ear on the ball. Dave, you got to keep your ear on the ball, right? That's so good. I was able to play and I was able to play. And then, you know, Russ, you know, she helped me fit in and not sit out. And fitting in Russ, like helping kids fit in, helping everyone fit in, is up there with food, shelter and water, belonging and fitting in. Like, what are we going to do to make people feel like they can fit in? Welcome.
00:17:05
Speaker
And so she was really good. Russ, 30 years later, I got a phone call from Ms. Patrillo. I didn't know this, Russ. It was her first year teaching. So this wasn't an expert savvy teacher. She was just a possibility thinker. I got a phone call from her 30 years later. She said, David, how are you doing? I said, good, Ms. Patrillo, how are you? She said, great, David, I've been excited to tell you. So what's that? She said, remember we used to play keep your ear on the bowl? I said, yeah.
00:17:34
Speaker
She said, I wrote an article for Scholastics Magazine, a parent's magazine. And they picked up the story. And so it was published. I said, oh, that's so cool. Good for you. She said, wait this morning. I said, what? She goes, I got a phone call from a company, Tollhouse Publishing, and they want to publish a book. Keep your ear on the ball. And I'm wondering if you're OK with that and we can use your name.
00:18:00
Speaker
And I said, oh my God, Miss Patrillo, yes, of course. Russ, I've been all over the country in Colorado and different places, and people are like, you're that, David. I've made my students read that book, right? Because it was the kid, David in the book, he didn't really want a lot of help, Russ. He wanted to do things himself. I don't know if you know anybody like this. He wanted to do things himself, but then once he accepted help,
00:18:31
Speaker
things got really better fast. Sure. Yeah. And, and okay. So there's, there's these places for you, you know, to step off and experience. Okay. But you knew deep down that you were not going to get a try out for the Yankees, even though you hit the ball, right? I, I, I did, but I always dreamed I could be the second baseman. But, but then not too long after,
00:19:01
Speaker
Right, in middle school then, you're introduced to something you can do, a physical sport that you can do. Tell us about that situation, because that really brings like the physical aspect. I mean, anyway, I don't want to jump on it, but go ahead, tell that story. So, you know Russ, I'd love to share that story, but I just need to share one other story before I share that story.
00:19:30
Speaker
So you have a copy of my book, Feeling Your Way Through Life. And on the cover of that book, there you go. On the cover of that book is a beach ball. Yeah. So Russ, one day, Russ, I got a phone call from my dad and I was in fourth grade.
00:19:54
Speaker
And he called me on the phone. Now, Russ, my dad, he didn't have any advanced degrees, like many of your listeners. He was a health inspector in Montclair, New Jersey. As a matter of fact, Russ, he had three jobs. He was a health inspector in Montclair, New Jersey. He worked at the post office, and he worked at the VA, and he started. He had three jobs and supported six kids.
00:20:18
Speaker
Awesome, whatever it takes. Whatever it takes, right Russ? Whatever it takes, no complaints, you know. And so Russ, one day he called me on the phone and he said, David, when I come home from work today, I'm going to teach you how to play catch. Russ, I knew I couldn't see a baseball or a football or a basketball. And that day I worried.
00:20:43
Speaker
I worried. What did I worry about, Russ? I worried I wasn't gonna be able to play. I worried I was gonna let him down. That was the worst one. I worried I was gonna disappoint him. I was worried I was gonna get hurt. You know, Russ, they say 95% of the things we worry about never happen anyway. 95% never happen anyway. So Russ, you know, I learned like,
00:21:13
Speaker
You know, what worry is like sitting in a rocking chair, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, but it doesn't get you anywhere, right? And it's like worship, don't worry, right? Worship, don't worry. You know, pray, don't panic. Worship, don't worry, pray, don't panic. And, but that day I worried. Russ, I worried so much. I actually made myself sick.
00:21:38
Speaker
Well, I hear the car drove out the driveway. I hear the screen door open, the dogs bark. I was, okay. David, I said, hey, dad. He says, all right, I'm gonna get changed. We'll go play catch. Okay, here we go. And the rest we go in the backyard. And that day he brought home a giant peach ball. It was so big.
00:22:07
Speaker
I couldn't even get my arms around it. And Russ, he would hit this ball up in the air, and I was able to see the red and the yellow and the blue and the green against the light blue sky. And Russ, he knew that all I could see is contrast, light on dark and dark on light. And I was able to reach up and catch the ball. And he said, David, you stop right there. I said, yeah, dad. He said, David, I'm not teaching you how to play catch.
00:22:35
Speaker
He said, I'm teaching you that you can do whatever you want. You've just got to spend your time figuring out how. And Russ, that was like the green light for me or the turning point for me is I could do whatever I want. I just have to spend my time figuring out how. Because a lot of times, Russ, we spend our time figuring out all the things we can't do.
00:23:06
Speaker
And we focus on all the things we lost and all the things I could have did or should have did. And we focus on that rather than focusing on figuring it out. And so you could do whatever you want, David.
00:23:25
Speaker
You've just got to spend your time figuring it out. And what a message that was for me, Russ, like that, that was like, okay, I've got it. He said to me one day, Russ, I remember on the car ride home, Dave, any common gorilla could figure out all the things you can't do as a blind person. David, we're going to have to redo that one segment. Uh, your internet was cutting out. It was all garbled.
00:23:57
Speaker
So just go from where your dad said you can You just have to figure things out. Just just start whenever you're ready. Just start there I don't know why it cut out for about 30 seconds Okay, I'm very sorry No worries He told me that
00:24:17
Speaker
you can do whatever you want you've just got to spend your time figuring out how and Russ that was such a green light for me like wow focusing on that like focusing on that rather than focusing on you know all the things i can't do a lot and a lot of times we default to you know all the things we lost all the you know i lost i'm losing more eyesight i'm losing more i've lost my job i've lost my
00:24:44
Speaker
my husband, I lost his relationship, and we focus on, I lost my friend, I lost, I didn't get the team, I didn't get the, and we focus on all the things we lost, Russ, and it's so important that we, Russ, this is one of the things I learned from my dad, and it really might be the most important thing I learned from him. Here it is. If you're taking notes, here it is. Things turn out the best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
00:25:14
Speaker
Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out. If you could make the, Russ, he told me this too. He told me that, ready? Oh, this is a keeper. He told me that blindness was gonna make me bitter or better and I better pick the right one. Goodness gracious. Yes, sir. Blindness was gonna make me bitter or better.
00:25:45
Speaker
Yeah, I better pick the right one. So I don't know what I don't know. I'll just just to wrap this up. I don't know what your listeners are going through. I don't know what physical, mental, emotional or spiritual challenge they're going through right now. But I can tell you this, it's going to make you better better. You better pick the right one.
00:26:09
Speaker
Oh yeah. Hey David, just in saying that since it was, it was a gradual loss, what can you, and again, you know, obviously I'm cited. So it's, if this might be just a stupid question, but out of the, out of all the senses, like which I was always led to believe that if something happened, if you lost one of your senses, the other ones would, would,
00:26:35
Speaker
increase or pick up. Could you tell what picked up? Was it taste, smell, hearing, touch? Was there a compensation there or no?
00:26:51
Speaker
I just think that there, you know, Russ, I like to use the example of, you know, if there's a problem with your car and you bring it to the mechanic, and he says, or she says, starts it up, and then, oh, yeah, you need a new belt. You know, I can't hear any better than you, Russ, but I've just really fine-tuned.
00:27:12
Speaker
Um, you know, uh, you, you know, all about muscle memory. And, and so I have really fine, well-trained, uh, listening skills. I have, you know, I am paying attention more. Uh, I don't think I can, you know, like to say, I don't know if I smell better than you. I probably do smell better than you rest. I don't know. I just.
00:27:38
Speaker
An Italian from Belleville? Yeah, exactly. A nice garlic scent. You can smell the garlic from here, right? You can smell the garlic from there, right? I don't have a better sense of smell than you. I don't have better hearing than you. I don't have better sense of touch, but I have really worked very hard to make sure I'm paying attention to those skills.
00:28:07
Speaker
You know, like I'll say, I'll probably notice something like, you know, how do you smell that, uh, you know, smell of whatever it is, you know, like being living in Hershey, Pennsylvania, Russ, depending on which way the wind's blowing. It could be the chocolate or the horse manure.
00:28:24
Speaker
uh but I'll probably I'll smell that first and then you know my wife or whoever will be oh yeah I smell that unless you're looking for it or paying attention for it but a lot of times I think um
00:28:39
Speaker
They say we get 85% of the information from our eyes. So you're constantly paying attention with your eyes and maybe not as much with your ears. Our ears are 360. They're hearing information all around us. Your eyes are pretty much like 180 here. So I don't believe that
00:29:01
Speaker
I could hear better than you. I think my listening muscles are a little more focused exercise than yours. So Russ, I got to tell you.
00:29:13
Speaker
Don't forget the muscles part though. The real David Dina Terrace beach muscles part. Okay. Don't forget that story. I just don't want you to forget that one.
Empowerment through Weightlifting
00:29:21
Speaker
No, we won't. We won't. So Russ, I had, you know, fourth, fifth grade, I had some, you know, just great teachers. And when I was in fourth grade, my gym teacher was a gentleman by the name of Phil Grappoldi. Is a gentleman by the name of Phil Grappoldi.
00:29:41
Speaker
Mr. Capaldi was a world champion weightlifter.
00:29:45
Speaker
from Belleville, New Jersey. And, you know, I really admired him. Everybody, he was, you know, he had muscles on muscles. And, you know, like, you know, he loved to, you know, and he let me know my brothers lifted weights with him. And, you know, just he was just, you know, just it was it was just amazing, you know, like, that it was 1978.
00:30:11
Speaker
And he was in the 1976 Olympics. He's my gym teacher. And so just one day during gym class, he knew about Miss Patrillo and the keep your ear on the ball. But he thought I could hit the ball without bouncing it. We didn't need to do that, Russ. So he was maybe 20 feet away.
00:30:40
Speaker
And then he would move a little closer, 10 feet away. And now Russ, we're playing softball and he's tossing it up to me. And now maybe he's six feet away.
00:30:54
Speaker
Right. Danger zone. Russ. Just now we're in the danger zone, Russ. So he's like, we're in the danger zone. So Russ, you know, he now five feet away and he tosses this nice red softball. And I got all of it, Russ. I got all of it. And it went off. I was told it went off the top of his forehead. And he goes, run!
00:31:23
Speaker
And so he would put himself out there so I could fit in too. So I've had all these teachers, Russ, who they want the extra mile for me. And Russ, I'm not the biggest fan of Nike, to be honest with you, but they have some great slogans and there's no competition on the extra mile. And he want the extra mile for me. So I had him as a gym teacher in fourth grade and fifth grade. But then in seventh grade, Russ, I went to the middle school
00:31:52
Speaker
And like during gym class, you know, it was very loud, all these kids and, and, you know, the principal, Mario DiMaggio, not everyone from Bellables Italian Russell. So we know I'm going to clear that up right away. Not everyone. So Mario DiMaggio and Dr. Saccone met with my father and Mr. Capaldi. So maybe in this case, they were.
00:32:24
Speaker
So Mr. Gropoldi says, Mr. Dina Terrace, the gym is very, very loud and it's just not the best place for your son. I want to get your son involved in exercise and weightlifting. So instead of taking gym class, fourth and fifth period, right next to the gym is a weight room where there's pull-up machine, there's pull-ups,
00:32:37
Speaker
Not every case, all right?
00:32:50
Speaker
There's weights in there and there's all kinds of exercise equipment and I'm going to help him in there. And Russ, he did it during his break period. Wow. So, you know, he, you know, he couldn't do it during gym class because everybody else, but he did it during break period. So they arranged my schedules during his break period. He could take me to the gym and get me involved in doing pushups and chin ups and, and, um, um,
00:33:19
Speaker
you just push ups, sit ups, chin ups, dips, you know, the body weight stuff. Yep. He didn't get me involved in weightlifting until ninth grade. Okay. But he told me I would. And then in ninth grade, you know, he got me involved in, in, in lifting weights. And he still, we started with dumbbells and then, you know, learning forms. And before we first started with a broomstick.
00:33:44
Speaker
We first started with a broomstick, and this is what we're going to teach you all the motions with, David. And then he told me, go home and do these motions with your brothers. Make sure they had it. Did he teach you Olympic style weightlifting, or was it more powerlifting? No, no. He got me involved in powerlifting for whatever reason, Russ. Okay.
00:34:07
Speaker
Well, the Olympic lifting was, you know, I mean, your weights are flying through space. There's a lot less control there. Yes. Yeah. So he, the first thing he started me doing was, you know, squats.
00:34:21
Speaker
And if you can learn this, David, this is gonna be very important for your balance. Your balance, we gotta think about your balance, Dave. So he got me doing squats and then, you know, like with no weights, just like bouncing on your heels, you know, and then coming up and then throwing your hips forward. And like he would, you know, like, here, feel my hips, feel where my shoulders are, feel where my neck is.
00:34:48
Speaker
You know, you know, some people might say, Oh, I don't know. But like, that was the only way I was going to get it. You know, well, Russ, you know, he, you know, he, you know, he was like, but you know, Russ, when you're around people who are like, Mr. Capaldi, how much can you leg press 800 pounds?
00:35:09
Speaker
800 pounds? Yeah. Can I see you do it? On Thursdays, I'm going to do it. On Thursdays, I do leg presses. And people come to the gym to see him do leg presses and then squats, 600-pound rack squats. And we were all encouraged by him.
00:35:30
Speaker
And he told me, Dave, you're not going to be the center fielder. You're not going to be the wide receiver. But with weights, you've got to level playing field. You've got to level playing field, Dave. So Russ, he told me
00:35:48
Speaker
about level playing fields before anyone ever told me about educational playing fields or employment level playing fields for people with disabilities. He was, you know, he was telling me about that when I was 14 years old, a level playing field. Now I have a level playing field. You know, it's not a level. He put me on the baseball field. It's not a level field.
00:36:10
Speaker
You put me on a basketball court, it's not a level field. You put me in the gym with the weights, it's just me in gravity. Bring it on. Yeah, it took you off the sidelines, right? It put you in the game, right? It did, Russ. You helped me fit in and not sit out.
00:36:27
Speaker
Right. And I think a lot of people cited, unsighted, but depending on, you know, athleticism, all these variables, you know, parents forcing their kids into a particular sport because everybody else is doing it. And it's just, you know,
00:36:43
Speaker
It's a waste of time and probably a ton of frustration for the kid. But like you said, you know, hey, there was an environment there that you got fired up about being a part of. And like you said, it was something that you could succeed at. You're energized by that. But you still had to put in the hard work. It wasn't like, oh, I'm here and I'm the superstar. No, no, no. I'm just here and I have an opportunity to be a superstar, right?
00:37:10
Speaker
Yes. I remember asking him one day, I said, Mr. Paul, is it true that you can't work out seven days a week? Oh, yeah, Dave. You know, Dave, yeah, that's absolutely true. You know who says that, Dave? Losers say that, Dave. Losers say that. You can work out seven days a week.
00:37:31
Speaker
And so good. Just the story, Rush, the stories from the stadium where we lifted weights and the history there,
00:37:48
Speaker
And Russ, we didn't have the beautiful workout facilities. It was like, Russ, we had this one thing. It was a metal can filled with cement with a bar sticking out of it. And what is this for? It was for shrugs.
00:38:17
Speaker
Sure. It was for, yeah. And you know, just, you know, somebody made this metal can with cement with a crowbar sticking out of it. And it was for shrugs. And, you know, they said this was, this has been here for 30 years.
00:38:33
Speaker
30 years, right? The summit, you know, and people would come up, you know, and then like, you know, and then the rest, they had the wooden, you know, so you could stand and do deadlifts on the on the like the platform, you know, and they and they built the platform in woodshop glass.
00:38:54
Speaker
Sure. Oh yeah. And it was just like that was there for who knows how many years. At what age did you start to compete? Did you get to travel with that too?
Achievements in Powerlifting and Community Impact
00:39:07
Speaker
I did. So when I was in ninth grade,
00:39:12
Speaker
Mr. Gopoldi encouraged me to get involved in the Association of Drug-Free Powerlifters. And I did my first bench press competition at 123 pounds. And then I competed at 123 and 132 and then 148.
00:39:34
Speaker
And that was many two and a melts ago, Russ. But you traveled though, right? Didn't you do some kind of world championships? I did, I did, I did. I started with, you know, I started with like, you know, drug free and then, you know, competed against us. And Russ, you know,
00:39:56
Speaker
When I started competing with the New Jersey Association of Drug-Free Powerlifting, that's when I learned, Russ, and I didn't know. But that's when I learned that I could compete and win against sighted kids.
00:40:13
Speaker
Yeah, that's when I got the message, I can do this. And not only I can do this, but I could win. Well, Russ, there, you know, there's something about helping kids learn that they look, you know, you learn more from losing than you do from winning. I know that, but you learn a lot from winning too.
00:40:35
Speaker
And so when I learned that I- And you don't need eyeballs to lift heavy weights, right? I mean, you don't need- No. So it really like says, you know, there's all those messages coming to you like, wait a minute, I'm different, I'm disabled, I'm blind. Who's gonna like me? Where am I gonna fit in? Right, but now like, now you're getting this message that, okay, you know, in the right setting, hey,
00:41:02
Speaker
I'm, you know, this is my place, right? And I compete. Yeah, I can compete and I can win. And Russ, I learned when, you know, whatever is necessary, whatever is necessary. Right. So if it means, you know, you know, you know, we've got to lose weight if it means anything like it. Russ, is that is that OK? I I heard your computer make a noise. Are you OK?
00:41:30
Speaker
No, we're good. We're good. Whatever is necessary. So like, win, whatever is necessary. And so if it means, you know, like, Russ, I love, you know, like, you know, like people, people think, you know, I love your take on this, Russ, but people think that discipline is a negative word.
00:41:53
Speaker
I mean, have you found that in all of your work now, Russ? But like discipline isn't a negative word, is it? No, I mean, I think, you know, that was
00:42:05
Speaker
Oh my goodness, a massive power outage up in Pennsylvania just took out David. I'm hoping we can go further with this conversation in the future, but to answer his question that he asked me about discipline, there are two types, right? One from within and one outside us. Self-discipline can be learned and improved, which David's life definitely demonstrates. And external discipline is essential, but not always fun.
00:42:32
Speaker
Rules parameters and discipline all come into play but ultimately we come to discover that learning that our actions have consequences is a very good thing. And then david went on to win a world championship, world weightlifting championship while in college and also met his future brother as well and that story is amazing it's in his book.
00:42:54
Speaker
So to recap, remember, parents and kids, when you come across a person with a disability, of course you would help someone who could use some help. But don't pity them. We all need help. My old friend, who is arguably the strongest man to ever live, Paul Anderson, said this, if the strongest man in the world can't get through one day without the power of Jesus Christ, where does that leave you?
00:43:18
Speaker
Also, David's mom and dad were possibility thinkers. That's an intentional way to live and it's something we should all consider. I know I did when my kids were young. Also too with doctors, I like that part about David's parents got taken to the doctor for that diagnosis. Hey doctor, there's nothing parents can do.
00:43:41
Speaker
His parents had, it was kind of his, the response was pretty awesome in that, um, yeah, well you're the doctor and we respect that. However, uh, we need to own the health of our child and seek out solutions. And that could be from a number of different sources because we know in life, everything comes down to physical, intellectual, psychological, emotional, and spiritual.
00:44:05
Speaker
And from then, maybe you can decide what is normal. And as David said, try hard to be yourself. Walk by faith, not by sight. So obvious in his case. And he also talked about a level playing field for those with disabilities. And that reminded me, when he was talking about his early weightlifting experiences, I know traditional sports can be, depending on the disability, can be a real challenge for young people or anybody.
00:44:34
Speaker
But this Pastor Pete, he grew up in the area where David did. I think he's a little bit older. He is a little bit older. But he grew up in that same weightlifting atmosphere. He was an Olympic style lifter as well as a power lifter. And after he became a pastor, he also, he opened up his garage and he started training young people that came to see him lift. And he developed a concept called the True Strength Club.
00:44:59
Speaker
And it grew over the next year or two, were the local high school kids who weren't athletes, like varsity athletes, that they could just go in and use the facilities at the local public high school. These were kids that were outside of traditional sports, but they wanted to become strong and healthy. And so Pastor Pete, they set up a gym. It ultimately ended up in the basement of the church.
00:45:23
Speaker
I remember at one point he was getting like 70 kids a week coming in there and they would have competitions a few times a year. I know because my daughter when she was a basketball player but she competed in one of those competitions and it was just awesome.
00:45:40
Speaker
The purity of it, after we watch all the nonsense that goes on in a lot of our popular sports today, where you just follow the money. But the purity of it, and I know I went to a couple of competitions because they invited me to present in between lifts and stuff. And at the end of the day, the last lift in a power lifting meet is the deadlift.
00:46:05
Speaker
That's basically just pulling the heaviest weight you can off the floor. And when the judge says it's a good lift, you can drop it. And you had to see these kids. For me, the biggest lift might have been 100 pounds, but it didn't matter whose team I was on.
00:46:22
Speaker
that lift was going to be my personal best and the camaraderie, the support that I would get for lifting that hundred pounds is amazing. And the next person up might lift 500 pounds and it would be the same thing because they were going for their personal best. So it might be a sport activity to look into if you're a parent of a kid that maybe just can't do the traditional sports. That's all I'm saying.
00:46:47
Speaker
And that great quote from David's old school teacher when she figured out how David could finally hit the ball, right? Keep your ear on the ball. And that's a wrap. I hope everyone enjoyed today's episode, and we got some takeaways that you can use. You can grab a copy of David's book on Amazon, and for speaking engagements, you can find him
00:47:10
Speaker
Speaking engagements, you can find him on LinkedIn or his website.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:47:13
Speaker
This is a great one, www.possibilitythinkers.net. And here's a copy of his book. If you're looking for it, just look for that big beach ball, all right? Because you can see that through, the sun shines through it. And you can see it if you can see, you know, light colors and textures.
00:47:32
Speaker
And please share this with your friends. And don't forget all my stuff is at russelljonespeaks.com. If you're a parent or grandparent or mentor to a 10 to 15 year old, check out our 60 day transformational interactive video series, top secrets to success for kids and parents. And in the words of the inimitable Hulk Hogan, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you'll never go wrong.
00:47:55
Speaker
then go and all go and everybody go and make it a great day. And I hope the weather improves up in Pennsylvania. All right, be blessed. Bye for now.