Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
What do you do when the worst possible thing happens in your life? Podcast with just Me!
23 Plays11 months ago
Today’s podcast is going to be a bit different. I’d like to take you through what a ‘live’, in-person presentation would be like. I hope you will enjoy it on many levels.
So here we go-- 2 big questions will be answered: What do you do when the worst possible thing happens in your life? and How do you deal with real fear?
I provide all out support, encouragement & wisdom for parents as well as their middle school age child… better students, athletes, family members & even better members of the community.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Intergenerational Podcast
00:00:35
Speaker
Welcome to Russell Jones Speaks, where we explore big issues that matter to parents, grandparents, and kids. We tackle intergenerational issues. Everything that affects parents, grands, and children is on the table. That includes health and fitness, relationships, attitude, family unity, vision, adversity, God, and anything else that might arise. The goal is for you to take away something that you can use in your life immediately.
Podcast Structure and Russell's Background
00:01:01
Speaker
Hi. Today's podcast is going to be a bit different. I'd like to take you through what a live in-person presentation would be like. I hope you'll enjoy it on many levels. So here we go. Introduction. Obviously this wouldn't be me, but our speaker today is the author of three books, The Best Sellers, Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired, Solutions for a Better Healthier Life, Top Secrets of Success for Kids, and I Did the Best I Could, 10 Critical Anchor Points that will equip you and your child now and into the future.
00:01:32
Speaker
He's a professional strongman, master level rehabilitative trainer and motivational speaker, and has delivered over 1000 presentations since 1992. As a member of the association of all time barbell and strongman, he has performed in front of the world's elite athletes. His message today is all about you, who you are and who you can become. Please give your closest attention as we welcome Russell Jones. Yay.
The Concept of Strongman
00:02:00
Speaker
Anyway, just want to get that out of the way. So yeah, to start out like, okay, so what's a strong man? Let's define that because a lot of people just don't know. and um So a professional strength athlete or strong man is not a magician or performer of tricks. The feats are real and some are downright dangerous. But throughout history, real strength has had a place of honor in cultures around the world.
00:02:25
Speaker
Even the most sophisticated of audiences seem to get drawn into the awesome struggles and then victory in attempting what would appear to be an impossible task. This is important to understand, especially as I get into my story within a story. So just to give you an idea of of a feat that I would open with, um, we take a short, uh, half inch thick steel bar and, uh, you know, have the audience come up and check it out. Somebody in the audience and, um, then I'll bend it around my neck and cross the end so that it looks like a fish. And the message then is that you know if I give you a fish, you'll have food for a day. But if I teach you how to fish, you'll be able to feed yourself. and um so And then I'll move into today's two big questions, which will be answered.
Family Story: Lost Purse and Honesty
00:03:17
Speaker
What do you do when the worst possible thing happens in your life? And how do you deal with real fear?
00:03:25
Speaker
The day started out as a trip with my wife and three of our children going down the Jersey Shore to visit with friends, maybe a two-hour drive. There was a youth event at our friend's church featuring Mike Dacey, the most recorded guitar player in history, and two strongmen performed during the intermission. And so, um, it was, it was a fun show. I was curious about the strong men guys, cause you always trying to figure out what the trick is and everything else. Mike Dacey was unbelievable with the music and we pack up the kids and we leave back then. We we had a big old, like an, not even a minivan. It was a big van.
00:04:00
Speaker
and um you know strollers and car seats, everything else. And we're halfway home, and my wife, Lynn, decided to check something, and she found out that her purse was missing, her pocketbook. It wasn't there anymore. And so, of course, we pull up on the side of the road, pitch black, dark on the side of the highway, unloading all kinds of things, looking under stuff, and no purse, no pocketbook. So we turn around, we drive back to the church, and ah the church is locked up. Everybody went home. So we went over to our friend's house. We stayed with our friends. Next morning we get up.
00:04:42
Speaker
It was Sunday morning. We go to church, go to the church, and there it was. The person was hanging on the back of the chair, which he had left it. Thank God it was an honest church. And so we stayed for the service, and I'm sitting on the second row. The front row was all dignitaries and everything, but me and our friends were all sitting on the second row. so the yeah the guy gets up to speak, the strongman from the night before. And just kind of a thank you for um you know hosting him from coming in. They're from ah from California. and um And as he's thanking everybody for this week that he came in to do these presentations, um he mentioned that um he had recently lost his daughter to a long-term illness.
Personal Tragedy: Loss of a Son
00:05:32
Speaker
And I just, my heart just went out when I heard that. I just, I just empathize with that so much. And I had this flashback moment. I didn't expect to have it, but I did. And I flashed back to the worst possible thing that ever happened in my life. And I've had a few, but this was the worst. It was December 18th, 1987. And I just want to let, you know, tell you, you know, if you're 10 years old or if you're 110, You know, life is hard, right? I mean, really hard for everyone. And then every once in a while, we get hit with something so bad, we think we'll never survive it. And this was the worst nightmare I could ever think of. It it was back in 1987, and one of my sons was killed in a car crash. And I wasn't there.
00:06:25
Speaker
But I got a call at work. I raced to the hospital. My wife was being operated on. My two-year-old daughter was having her face stitched up. And my almost one-year-old son was in another room waiting for a helicopter to take him to a trauma center. The whole scene didn't seem real to me. Then a doctor came in and mean let me know that my son had died.
00:06:51
Speaker
The news literally took my breath away. What? That one event on that day changed the entire course of my life. I learned how to cry and grieve and it lasted for months. Yet I had to care for those who survived. It took days to know if my wife would survive the accident and all the surgery. Christmas that year was in a hospital room. At one point I was so low and sad and confused that they put me on medication.
00:07:25
Speaker
That lasted one day. I got worse. And I learned that answers and solutions to life's big hits are not in the pill. Medication never gets to the source of the pain. So I decided to do some research and I came up with a plan to overcome depression, anxiety, sadness, frustration, fear, insecurity, and a bad attitude. Now, there are some of you here today that are going through the worst possible thing right now. I was 34 years old when it happened for me, but the solution is always the same. All I had to do was learn to own my stuff and not blame the world when bad things happen. I know it will work for you because if I can do it, so can you. It's called my daily checklist for a better life and I'll make it available for anyone who wants it. I was wounded
00:08:23
Speaker
But the good Lord guided me through. And by the grace of God, I'm leading people out of whatever has crushed them.
Finding Purpose Through Tragedy
00:08:30
Speaker
Tragedy changed my life, ultimately for the better, believe it or not. The Lord allowed me to suffer, yet it opened a door for me to help all the people. The secret of happiness we found out. You find a hurt and help heal it. So, okay, now if it's a live live presentation, I need some volunteers.
Tug of War: Standing Strong
00:08:54
Speaker
And um so we bring up a couple of volunteers, two to start with. And I have two ropes, just to try to visualize this and almost we are just listening to this podcast, but just ah just imagine there's these two triangles and these triangles have ropes going in either direction. And I have two people come up
00:09:16
Speaker
And we're going to have a tug of war. So I have one person holding the rope on the one triangle, the other person holding the rope on the other triangle. Now I take the two triangles in my hand and I hold the triangles up against each other. I don't lock them together or anything like that. I just hold them with my grip. And we have this tug of war. So we see who's going to win this side or that side. and Ultimately, I don't move. So then we bring up two more people. So now there's two people on either side. And we try it again. And I don't move. And then we bring up another two more people. So now we have six people pulling opposite directions. And um and so it's a lot of fun. And ah you know whoever bets on whichever team ah loses because I don't move. And you know the the message for that is,
00:10:08
Speaker
You know, we have to stand strong, right? There's forces that that pull against us. And I don't know how old you are, but, ah you know, when I was a kid, one of the big things in the cartoons was, you know, a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other shoulder whispering in your ear. And obviously the angels whispering good stuff and the devils whispering bad stuff. But, you know, it was a cartoon. It was it was cute. It was funny in some, you know, it in the instances that it was presented. But it's really true, right? There's voices. And, know you know, which voice are you going to listen to? Are you going to be able to strong stand strong, not only for yourself, but you' for your family, loved ones, anybody you need to stand st strong for when that time comes?
00:10:55
Speaker
So just something to think about, right? And okay, now
Empathy and Shared Grief
00:10:59
Speaker
where was I in that story? yeah Oh yeah. at church. Strongman Bill actually sat right in front of me after he came ah down off the podium, and the preacher came on and everything. And and ah the the rest of the service, i'm I'm just thinking about what this guy must be going through, Lewis and his daughter, because I had been through that a few years before. And so the service ends, and I didn't know what I was going to say, and this is totally out of my
00:11:29
Speaker
temperament personality. I reached out put my hand on his shoulder and I said hey and he turned around he looked at me piercing blue eyes I remember he looked at me I said gee you know maybe we get together for a cup of coffee or something and uh ah that stuff you said about your daughter just affected me and ah and I'd like to share something with you. And so he looked at me and he he was very gracious and he just said, hey, look man, we got a big show down in Atlantic City tonight. He says, we got we got to get on the road. And ah I said, all right, you know, maybe we can get on the phone or something like that at some point. and And all of a sudden he just turned and looked at me again and he goes, wait a minute. And he he made some arrangements with his roadie and ah
00:12:10
Speaker
He says, come on, let's go to lunch. So my wife and me and this guy ah go to lunch and we're...
Brick Breaking and Lessons in Faith
00:12:21
Speaker
telling telling stories. And he wasn't feeling very well. He'd been on the road for a while. And, ah you know, I'm a health nut, ah you know, by necessity. And so I remember it was an Italian restaurant. I run in the back and I'm chopping up raw garlic for him. Never say, it take this. It'll, you know, it'll be good for you. yeah And we're telling all these stories and everything. And and then at one point he says, Hey, listen, man, what are you doing tonight? We could use some help. I'm not feeling good at all. We can use some help in tonight's presentation. And I go,
00:12:51
Speaker
Like doing what? I mean, so can he said, we'd like you to break a stack of bricks. And I said, what? He said, yeah, we we have like these bricks that get stacked up. And he said, you know, you you break them with your arm and whatever. He said, yeah you could probably do it. You look like a pretty strong guy. And now just remember here, um I'm 39 years old. I'm an old basketball player. Keyword, old. I'd never done anything like this in my life before. And so I said to the guys, no, you said, I lifted a couple of weights, but no exceptional strength, never took karate or anything like that. And he said, uh, he said, ah, come on, I really need some help. And, and my wife is sitting there and she's very supportive and she gets, go ahead honey, go help the guy. So, and I'm, I'm like, ah, okay. So we dropped my wife off and me and this guy are driving down the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.
00:13:45
Speaker
and he's teaching me how to break bricks while we're driving. And i'm I'm turning to him, I'm going, you are crazy, I could never do that. And he's yelling at me, he said, just watch the road, watch the road, we're going back and forth. And so we finally get to our destination down by Atlantic City and pull into the parking lot and go inside and there's a stage and there's two big stacks of bricks set up on either side of the stage. And there was nine bricks in each stack, and each brick was two inches thick. So that's like 18 inches of concrete. I mean, it was a big stack of bricks. In fact, if you look behind me, you can see an example of ah of a stack of bricks.
00:14:28
Speaker
and so I said, well, can I practice? you know can i get ah Can I try this? He goes, no, we don't have enough bricks. He said, don't worry about it. So he says that a lot. And so he said, all right, we got to get ready. you know We're going to go in the back and warm up. People are starting to come in. So, you know, warm up. I'm thinking, you know, sports background, ah you know, and do a couple of arm circles, a couple of pushups, jumping jacks. I don't know. What do you do to warm up to break a stack of bricks? And so.
00:15:01
Speaker
We sit down at this table in this back room. I'm in the middle. And the guy on the other side of me was turned out to be his oldest son, I think, and ah and Bill on the other side said, let's pray. We're holding hands. now you know i come from a ah a background where praying was pretty much in church and just before bed. and um You didn't hold hands when you prayed, but I was a baby Christian at the time. and so ah Anyway, he started praying and I got my eyes closed. I'm figuring out I'm going to go with the flow here. I don't i don't know what's going on. in He's calling down you know King David's mighty men. He's throwing out all kinds of Bible verses. I'm like,
00:15:46
Speaker
I, okay, whatever. It wasn't like I'm used to like to our father who art in heaven, you know? And so he, uh, all of a sudden he stopped and I could just feel him looking at me. I got my eyes closed just being respectful and I opened my eyes and look at him. He goes, Do you got the power? And I'm like, ah yeah. ah He said, you're a Christian, right? I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah I'm i'm ah born again. Father, son, Holy Ghost, yeah, I got the whole thing. And he goes, well, do you got the power? I said, well, I guess so. He said, well, if you had the power, you'd know you'd have the power.
00:16:25
Speaker
And I said, well well, then, yeah, I got the power. He says, oh, man, we got to work on this. He said, but we don't have time for it now. We got to get we got to get outside. So anyway, we leave that warm up and we go out. They had they led off with some big explosive feet and like there's, you know, rooms full of people. Music's cranking. Everything's going on. and People are cheering. And so So then it comes time for me to get up for my stack of bricks. And the whole deal is there's going to be two guys, me on one side, his son on the other side, and they're going to have a countdown, 10 down to one, and we're going to break this stack of bricks to get simultaneously. you know So I'm like, okay. And at that point, I'm you know um getting into it, right? I mean, you're you're like, okay,
00:17:16
Speaker
I'm here. I guess I have to do this thing." And it was like being at a sporting event or a concert. you know i' all I was getting all pumped up and all. But as soon as they started to count down, they went, 10.
Mindset Shift: Fear and Faith
00:17:29
Speaker
And all of a sudden that excitement went out of me. And I was like i was filled with something called fear. right i was I was in panic mode. I was afraid of three things. One, I was afraid it was gonna be very, very painful. Two, I was afraid the bricks were not gonna be, they weren't gonna break. And then three, I was afraid that they're gonna be carrying me out to the local hospital. I'll just totally be humiliated. And so I remember at that moment, it was like a moment of truth. It was like the time they're counting down, but the time like like stood still. But I remember the talk I heard by a guy a few years before. And he said that faith and fear
00:18:11
Speaker
cannot live in the same body at the same time. And I remember hearing that, and you know it sounded good, but I remember walking around for about a week just repeating that over and over again. I couldn't understand what he meant. And then it it dawned on me that he was saying that some things in life, it's all or nothing. You can't just go part way. It's like, you know, your best friend, you know, well, I'm going to be your best friend 99%. Like, well, when's the 1% going to kick in? Like at the worst possible time. I mean, there's certain things. You just have to go all in. And this seemed to be one of them. And I honestly, I prayed like I never prayed before in that moment.
00:18:57
Speaker
And I just, I just went for total faith and they said one and I jumped up and I hit that stack of bricks. They went flying. And I mean, I don't know if anybody was more excited in the place than I was, but I tried to be cool about it. You know, Oh yeah, I do this all the time, but I was like, Oh my goodness, this was amazing. And so.
00:19:22
Speaker
you know always Everybody always asks me, you know after that, you know oh, you must be one of those karate guys. And like I said before, no, I'm not a karate guy at all. and um And then people say, well, did it hurt? And I go, duh, of course it hurt. I just hit 18 inches of concrete with my arm. Of course it hurt. But as the evening went on, I was listening and just reflecting on on those bricks. It wasn't just the bricks that broke that night. And ah after I drove that guy and his son back to wherever they were staying and I was going to meet up with my family, there was like a flood of emotions that came over me that night. For a number of reasons. One of them was, I noticed how I was able, or through that, how they were able to connect with people.
00:20:17
Speaker
And um that was a powerful thing because after, you know, the event with my son and everything, we had really, my wife and I had really got into, you know, studying, trying to do the best we could for our kids and everything. And um we were were giving it our best shot, you know, not being crazy overprotective, but really being there, a shelter for them and everything else. And um it was amazing though then for me that there was a vehicle that opened up ah on how to connect with hurt people. And so this is how, you know.
00:20:52
Speaker
the whole thing originated. And I put names on my bricks. In fact, if you look on that poster in the back, one of my friends, ah that that picture was caught on a in front of, I think it was 3,000 kids in ah at an event. And the photographer caught it just at the right moment. And um my friend etched the names of the bricks into the photograph. ah And we've had that for years now. It's just been an awesome reminder. But the names of the bricks were things like Envy. and frustration, hate, guilt, revenge, insecurity, fear, laziness, and bad attitude. And bad attitude was, you know,
00:21:35
Speaker
That was all about me. I mean, that was, I mean, we grew up with a bad attitude. Being bad was something we aspired to. And um so, you know, that rough edge, that tough edge and everything else. So I really did need, I needed a serious attitude of judgment, ah adjustment rather. And so, you know, are there any bricks, you know, that you can relate to in there? Most people can, right? Envy, frustration, hate, guilt. Revenge, insecurity, fear, laziness, and bad attitude. But you can add whatever brick you want. So what's holding you back?
00:22:10
Speaker
You know, if it's fear, right? The acronym, one of the acronyms for fear is false evidence appearing real. So, you know, you don't have to, you know, go and set up a stack of bricks to have a breakthrough in your life, right? The breakthrough came here and here, in between my ears and in my heart. And the bricks, were that was just a detail at the end. and um
Strength in Unity: Deck of Cards
00:22:31
Speaker
But it it just showed how much you can do when you just totally go for it and you're not afraid. So anyway, just something to think about. Then usually I'll take out a deck of cards in a presentation. I'll take out a deck of playing cards and we'll have somebody come up and ah we'll tell a little story um about what the amazing things that you can learn from a deck of cards. And we'll take the Joker out and we'll have, you know, whoever I bring up, tear the Joker in half.
00:23:04
Speaker
And then I'll say, well, you tore one card in half. Now there's 53 more cards. Now let's hold them together nice and tight. Thank goodness my mentor, Dennis Rogers, who's over this shoulder, ah he taught me how to tear a deck of cards. And it took me a long time to be able to do it. but So the person can't tear the deck of cards. So I take the deck and I tear it in half. And then um and then I'll quarter the deck. I'll take it half a deck and quarter it. So, you know, the message then is, okay, you know, if you're a joker, if you're out there all on your own, if you're doing, it's all about you, you're making all decisions for you, about you all the time, it's easy for you to get wiped out, you know, when the worst possible thing or a lot of things happen in your life, right? But some people say, well, there's strength in numbers.
00:23:56
Speaker
And so we'll say the deck of cards is is all those numbers together, right? There's strength in that. But then again, not necessarily strength in numbers because there's different um groups that that, you know, so negativity, like a gang or something like that that are, yeah, there's there's a lot of them there, but you know, they're they're ah what they're all about is not a good thing. It's a negative thing. It's a devilish thing. So they get torn up, you know, relatively easy. But then I bring out a deck of cards that I've had for years now. I had taken this deck and I put glue in between each card. I put the cards back in a deck. I put in a vise. It took about, not too hard, I could squeeze it because the cards would squish out. But it took about a week for those cards to completely dry. But this has been, ah gee, it's probably 25 years now at least.
00:24:50
Speaker
And I've taken those cards with me everywhere, and I've been around some of the strongest people I've ever lived, and nobody can tear that deck of cards in half. And so I say, so what's the glue? What is the glue? The glue is, it's it's the connection, it's the relationship that people need to have, whether it's a family, a church, a class, whatever it is, a team, you need to have that relationship and connection, and that's where the real strength comes in. So that's we talk about that. in So then we talk about one more thing to wrap it up.
Positive Self-Talk and Success
00:25:26
Speaker
And I'll say to achieve healing, to get stronger. You know, I asked people how the big boats change direction. And people say, ah Okay, big boats, ah the rudder.
00:25:42
Speaker
right the rudder on the back of the boat that's how we change direction in our lives as well but the rudder is our tongue and it's how we speak right because so much i mean actually it's in it's in the good book where it says you're hung by your tongue you're snared by the words of your mouth And so I think the way we speak is always important. And I could do a whole talk on the on what I had to go through to start speaking life into people's lives, okay? And into my own life as well. So we talk about the greatest computer ever made, right? Which is behind your eyeballs, in between your ears, on top of your neck. um and And the way to program it, the most powerful programmer for your computer, your brain is your mouth, your words, what you say.
00:26:30
Speaker
Okay. I can say all kinds of great things about you. I can talk about, you know, how smart you are, how strong you are, how good looking you are, how you have a great smile. You're such a great friend, but what you say about you is so much more important. And so then I talk about, you know, to grow muscles and i hold up a big old gnarly arm. Well, it's not as big as and gnarly as it used to be, but it's still there. And I'll talk about, you know to exercise, you know you need exercise to grow.
63-Day Positive Words Challenge
00:27:02
Speaker
And I can tell you, if you wanna have a big old gnarly arm, I can tell you exactly what to do. I can tell you sets, reps, I can tell you frequency, I can tell you what to eat, I can tell you all this stuff, but you know what?
00:27:17
Speaker
If you don't do it, if you don't do the exercise, nothing happens. If you do it once, you know what? You'll get a little sore and you'll get it feel a little bump, but you're not going to you're not going to grow. You're not going to get stronger. So this exercise is for the positive words to come out of your mouth, go into your ears and see deep into your computer, your brain. And then I'll say, if you only do it for a few days or when you feel like it, it will work. So it takes 63 days to establish a habit. And I give people a challenge. I'll say, if you'll do this before bed, 63 days in a row, amazing things will start happening in your life. And I totally believe that. ah We have cards we hand out um you know for anybody that wants them that'll you know remind them what we said. And then I'll have everybody stand up and say, okay, let's practice.
00:28:08
Speaker
And so if it's ah if I'm doing a thing with kids, we'll have them stand up. I'll say, look, don't worry about what anybody else is doing next to you, whatever. Don't you know just to let the words come out of your mouth and we'll all do it together. All right. So this is the kids pledge. Right. So here we
Pledges for Kids and Parents
00:28:22
Speaker
go. One, it's repeat after me. I am not an accident. I was born with special and unique gifts. The harder I work, the more successful and happy I'll be. And I will treat others like I want to be treated. That's it, period. And then I'll have the parents, depending if it's parents alone and parents and kids, I'll have the parents get up and say something like this. Every child is special and I totally commit to mine. I will grow in wisdom and walk the walk of a great parent. I promise to be shade for my children and a shelter for life's storms.
00:29:07
Speaker
A place where they can grow to the struggles and fears, dreams and tears of every day. No excuses that, no excuses. It's done. That's it. Period. No excuses. It's done. That's it. Period. And then we'll hand out the pledge challenge whoever wants one, like I said.
Contact and Closing Remarks
00:29:31
Speaker
Now, if ah if you want a copy of my daily checklist, just email me. at russelljonespeaks.com and you can ah I'll send you a link and get a copy of the daily checklist. ah And that's a wrap. I hope everyone enjoyed today's episode and you got some takeaways that you can use immediately. Please share this with your friends or anybody you know that's hurting. And don't forget all my stuff at topsecretsofsuccess.com, oop, I said it too fast, topsecretsofsuccess dot.com and russelljonespeaks.com.
00:30:05
Speaker
If you're a parent or grandparent or mentor to attend a 13 year old, check out our 60 day transformational interactive video series, top seekers of success for kids and parents. It's amazing. It will equip and encourage parents and kids. Yes, it is top seekers of success.com. Get on our email list. And in the words of the inimitable Hulk Hogan, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you'll never go wrong. And in the words of my good friend, David Dina Terrace, make it a great day. And in the words of my other great friend, Pastor Pete, stay strong in the Lord. And from me, be blessed. Bye for now.