Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Russell Jones Speaks, where we explore big issues that matter to parents, grandparents, and kids. We tackle intergenerational issues. Everything that affects parents, grands, and children is on the table.
Speaker: That includes health and fitness, relationships, attitude, family unity, vision, adversity, God, and anything else that might arise. The goal is for you to take away something that you can use in your life immediately.
Speaker: I really want to help improve the lives of families, especially those with 10 to 13 year old middle schoolers. Let's talk. Go to RussellJonesSpeaks.com to get an amazing gift and then jump on a call with me.
Speaker: Hi everybody. ah diamond in the rough. Rich Ruffalo is a winner. Having overcome more obstacles than the average 10 men, he has made his dream come true, winning a gold medal for the United States in Seoul, North Korea.
Speaker: Rich was a winner of the prestigious Victor Award, the Academy Award of Sports, as most inspirational athlete of 1989, a role for which he is perfectly suited.
Speaker: With his charismatic personality, he is uniquely qualified to inspire his fellow man, for his story is one of inspiration. Sighted at birth, Rich gradually lost his sight to retinitis pigmentosa.
Speaker: It was a cruel blow to this energetic young man who was totally blind by age 30. A gifted secondary school teacher, track coach, and amateur athlete, Rich was at his lowest point.
Speaker: With the United States Association for Blind Athletes playing a big role, he picked himself up off the deck. He rededicated himself through athletics to show the way to success to everyone. Not only is he uplifting, Rich Ruffler's spellbinding.
Speaker: He has been the guest on numerous television and radio shows in the subject of TV, newspaper, magazine specials. Rich has achieved success despite insurmountable odds in many fields beside athletics.
Speaker: This multifaceted dynamo has earned it. has earned two postgraduate degrees in education, was named Teacher of the Year by Princeton University, and was inducted into both the National Teachers Hall of Fame and the National Italian American Sports Hall of Fame in 1994. At the Walt Disney Company and McDonald's fri Presents the American Teacher Awards, Rich was named the Outstanding Athletic Coach and Outstanding Teacher of the Year 1995.
Speaker: ninety ninety five Now, as a motivational speaker, Rich shares his message to inspire others to reach within themselves for the courage to keep up the fight until they reach their personal victories.
Speaker: Currently, Rich is ranked as the top male blind track and field athlete in the history of the United States and has maintained high standards of excellence in all areas of his life, truly typifying the word winner.
Speaker: Oh my goodness gracious. That is a powerful introduction. Welcome Rich. How are you doing? Thanks for Russ. And the only kill correction have to say is it wasn't in North Korea, it was in South Korea.
Speaker: But other than that, we were all good my brothers. Yeah, it's a good thing it was in North Korea. Anyway, hey, look, it's great to have you ah as a guest today. And um let's just jump right in. um I'm just curious, and I'm sure everybody that's listening is curious, just your early years. I mean, obviously, um I don't think anything could have prepared you for the trials and tribulations that hit you later on. But talk about those early years, the foundational years for you growing up.
Speaker: Well, growing up, Russ, and hello, everybody out there. growing Growing up, i i I always had problems seeing, even when I was just born, from what my mom tells me.
Speaker: And at the age of two or three or something like that, I guess it was around that age, I used to have hold my head to the side to see things. And my mother was a nurse, and she was very tuned into medical stuff. And she sent me...
Speaker: and I got an electroencephalogram to see there was anything wrong with me. And they couldn't figure anything out, just no big deal. I just couldn't see good. I was myopic, nearsighted.
Speaker: So I wore glasses at the age of four. They did not know back in 1951 when I was born in 1954 or 55 when I got my first set of glasses that one day I was going to go blind to a disease called retinitis.
Speaker: pigmentosa, a genetic disease that degenerates the retina. ah We found that out many, many years later. But i always had a tough time seeing ah never My normal vision, i don't know what great vision ever was, but I did every kind of sport there was, went to college, Montclair State, was an athlete and so forth.
Speaker: ah And my eyesight began to dissipate rapidly in my late teen, 20 year life. of life played every sport and was pretty good at everything. And all of a sudden I had very difficult time seeing things.
Speaker: Like I'd miss a basketball that was passing me or I'd strike out when I normally would hit a home run or a double. Just hand-eye coordination and seeing things was an issue.
Speaker: And it I just thought it was, well, Nearside, it kept getting stronger lenses. Well, Russ, unless I got Mount Palomar's lens for the observatory, it wasn't going to improve.
Speaker: So there had to be something else going down. We found out in my early 20s that I had a disease that they named retinitis pigmentosa. And I found out in a doctor's office after he was telling me, i'm you're doing pretty good. It's pretty stable from the last time.
Speaker: And I knew every day it was getting worse. And I said, Doc, give it to me straight. What's going on here? Am I going to go blind? He said, yes, you are. I said, well, why didn't you tell me that from the beginning?
Speaker: Well, most people really don't want to know. I said, well, Doc, I'm not most people. I've got a lot of things I've got to do. I've got to know. So then I turned the chapter and went to chapter two, acceptance, anger, and dealt with the blindness issue and decided, look, was my destiny in life just to go blind and feel sorry for myself till the day I die?
Speaker: Or was I supposed to use this as a stepping stone to dig deep within my own human potential to make something of myself that my family and the world may remember?
Speaker: And I really thought along those lines. I always felt like the gladiator in the arena and all the lions are hungry and I was going to slay all of them. But I was a little bit down. And through the help of the good Lord and some family members, they picked me up.
Speaker: So that's how it started in my early 20s. I began to go blind. As the lights became dimmer, my dreams started to go away of what I wanted to do in life. I wanted to be a teacher, a coach.
Speaker: I had aspirations of being a great athlete. That was all fading away and fading to black. But then I had to dig deep and the chapter two kicked in, the Renaissance.
Speaker: And the phoenix had to rise from the ashes. Although I just thought I was a dead bird with a bunch of dust at that time.
Speaker: So, okay. So as a kid, Did this affect like your academics or anything? I mean, did you struggle in school? You know, was always a student. You went on to become a teacher, you know, a science biology teacher. So like how was your foundation, your educational foundation?
Speaker: Fortunately, you know, genetics is amazing. My mother's side of the family was always very bright. I have uncles who were doctors and dentists and surgeons and medical people.
Speaker: One of my uncles graduated college at the age of 19 and graduated medical school at 23. He had a photographic memory. My father's side, my father had a photographic memory.
Speaker: So I had eidetic imagery and photographic memory pretty much in my essence. So that was pretty nice. God's a genius. He knows if you're a little deficient in one area, he may help you out in others.
Speaker: I never write down phone numbers. I never have to look at notes. I could look at something once, pretty much take a photograph of it, So in college and in graduate school, Russ, as I became blinder and blinder, this is way before they had any kind of help for the blind people. And if you didn't know Braille, you were history.
Speaker: And there wasn't videos and audios, none of that. I was a biology science major and a master's in bio, and I did it by listening and paying attention and remembering things. So fortunately, i did have that capacity to overcome the blindness, but it's it's a struggle and it takes a lot of energy. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I bet. Oh, my goodness. right. So, okay. So, athletically, what were your, you know, coming up? I mean, did you have good experience? Other than the challenge of, you know, gradually needing thicker and thicker glasses. I had...
Speaker: athletically had great experiences. I mean, look, I played basketball. i and the brow I was pretty good. I was deadly. I in great. I could shoot the eyes out of the basket. And one of my eyes was pretty much blind and the other was half, half sighted.
Speaker: So somehow you, you know, you adjust, but I was pretty good at basketball, really good at softball. ah I was track and field athlete from Montclair state for four years. I was co-captain of team through the javelin.
Speaker: I was, uh, qualified for nationals my junior year and senior year of college for division three. So I was a good thrower. And, uh, When the hand-eye coordination went, as long as I could stay between the lines of the lane when I ran, i could pretty much keep it in balance.
Speaker: But it got more difficult to do anything at all as I got blind or blinder. But the weightlifting and hitting the heavy bag, i was able to do that after i went blind to continue training and working out, which I had do.
Speaker: ah love for it It was my addiction was training, working out, lifting weights. Eventually, when i found out about weightlifting, I got really into that, punched a heavy bag for a lot of years.
Speaker: So I just kept myself physically in shape. to kind of counteract the vision loss that was happening in great steps along the way. Took me about 10 or 11, 12 years to go from losing my eyesight to completely losing it.
Speaker: By 1984, I was absolutely blind.
Speaker: So the um but when did you start with the weights? You know, it's something back. I'm 73 now, Russ. I'm an old man. So back in the 50s and 60s when you were a thrower, unless you were the Russians that were way ahead game, they used to tell us, well, don't lift weights because it'll make you muscle bound and tight.
Speaker: You know, you know don't lift when you're a thrower. yeah Nowadays, that's completely the opposite. I know you were trainer, speed, strength, transition and training and and cycling and all of that.
Speaker: We didn't do that back in the day. I just had a great arm and I had a cannon. I learned a technique and I would throw and try to improve my technique. Now, as I got older and I became a blind athlete and a blind thrower, my suppleness started to go away.
Speaker: I started going into the blind athletics at the age of 33 when most of the athletes are winding their career down. I started to throw for the U.S. blind athletes. I competed from 33 years old till I was almost 50, and they almost had to shoot me to get me off the field because I kept qualifying nationally and internationally.
Speaker: So to compensate for my lack of suppleness and youth, I replaced it with strength, which the best throwers don't rely on strength. They rely on technique. And if they have strength, too, man, you could really throw.
Speaker: Well, as my suppleness went away, i was pretty strong. And I replaced my athleticism and my dexterity and so forth with pure strength.
Speaker: Now, it doesn't mean I didn't know the technique, but I wasn't as efficient as I was when I was in my 20s. But my strength, I was probably the strongest athlete of the totally blind around the world.
Speaker: And that helped to supplant my athleticism. So I replaced it with the strength component. And that helped me for a while. So, okay, so academically. In my early 20s, started lifting. I didn't really start lifting until after my senior year college, I used to do a little universal stuff just to stay toned up because they said, don't get big and strong.
Speaker: Then after I went blind, i was out of it for a number of years. I didn't start competing until 1984. When I was 33, by then, in the 80s, everybody's lifting weights, their throws.
Speaker: So I coached track and field in Belleville, and I had my throwers and lifting people, and I would throw and lift with them, train with my athletes. I helped them.
Speaker: They helped me in my second career as a blind athlete. It was a very symbiotic relationship between athlete and coach. Nice. All right. So, okay. So foundation academically, athletically, spiritual foundation. I mean, I could probably guess growing up Italian in a Belleville area in New Jersey.
Speaker: Boonefield. I in Boonefield. religious background. Roman Catholic. but Roman Catholic, right? Yes, I did. I mean, I want to add one thing. I just want to. Did you go through that?
Speaker: I mean, did you go through the whole. oh sure. Training with that? Okay. I did. I did. Catholic school though, right? No Catholic school, but I went to catechism up until college and, uh, yep.
Speaker: Did all of that. And, uh, you know, father, son, the Holy spirit. Amen. Uh, You know, it's funny, people talk about Catholic and different denominations. You know, as a Christian today, i believe Catholics are Christians. There's a few more rules, personally, that I think are a little man-made dogma that's in there legalistically. But I think primarily the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, God is real, Jesus died and resurrected from the dead.
Speaker: Amen. The basics are there. I think there's a whole lot more Christians, if you add up Catholics and born-against and different kinds of denominations, that really believe, you ask the Lord in your heart, there's billions of them.
Speaker: So I did grow up that way. But just to backtrack for a minute, when you mentioned about my education, going through my undergraduate at Montclair and my graduate at Montclair, I was a good student. ah You know, I was 3.3 undergrad, but I've been able to see that well.
Speaker: And I also did pretty well and in graduate school. So that was never an issue, the grade piece. I always wanted to be a teacher. Probably would have been a medical person like my mother's side had I not been blind.
Speaker: But I'm also pretty hyperactive, a little bit of, I'm sure I'm ADHD. and And it's hard for me to focus on one thing. Now, I can do it. i like You know, it says don't serve too many masters. You're not supposed to be good in more than one thing.
Speaker: I don't believe that. I've done pretty well in many things, and I get bored. I have to have new challenges. So if I was just to focus all day long on, you know, pulling out someone's tooth as a dentist, God bless it, I think I'd go nuts.
Speaker: I got to do a lot of other things. So my academics kind of matched my life. I like different subjects and different things. And you know it was a pretty strong component for me spiritually.
Speaker: I always, God, the belief in God saved my life. Even when I wandered a bit and was living with my hedonistic self through my 20s and really not following the rules so much, quite frankly, I'm putting it as nicely as I can.
Speaker: I always believed there was a God because things happened to me in my life that proved it to me. Even before I was saved, I had amazing things happen that no one can explain by coincidence.
Speaker: If you'd like me to share one of those times, I will. I got one that I'm saving up to ask you, but go ahead. Go. was on a canoe trip with our friends ah going down to Delaware, whitewater canoeing.
Speaker: And I was kind of idiotic. I didn't keep my life vest on. And a friend of mine and I were in the same canoe, my friend Dennis. And we were canoeing. And, you know, I'm a big guy and he was small. But since I couldn't see,
Speaker: I was in the front. i was the stroke. And he was steering it in the back. And he was, you know, half my weight. So the canoe was going like this. It was nose down half the time.
Speaker: So we went to a whitewater number five. The canoe filled with water. And it was turbulent. And the canoe sunk. And it threw me out into the water, Russ.
Speaker: I had no life jacket on. which is ridiculous. And I went down and I was in the washing machine, so to speak. I was twirling and twirling under the white water.
Speaker: Now, had no concept of up, down, sideways, and I couldn't move. i I was tumbling. And I figured I'm dying. I know I'm going to die. I'm going to drown under the water.
Speaker: Started to panic a little bit. Like, oh my God, I'm going to die. I was holding my breath and and i heard ah voice that said, put your hand up, put your hand up.
Speaker: So I took my hand, calmed down and put my hand up and my hand somehow in the twirling broke the plane of the water and my hand was up out of the water I guess my buddy was in a canoe not far away, and he stuck an oar into my hand.
Speaker: And I grabbed it, and he pulled me up. so That was unbelievable. So I said, for years, here's how dumb I am.
Speaker: For years, I said, boy, it was really neat that instead of panicking, I calmed down and had the presence of mind to stick my hand up. Boy, was I lucky my friend gave me the or.
Speaker: And I didn't think about it for a while. Then a few years later, I was re reenacting this with somebody and I realized and it hit me. I didn't say, i'd better put my hand up and see if I can reach the surface.
Speaker: A voice said, put your hand up. It was a command. And then I got the chills like I'm getting now. That's the first time I knew that was no coincidence. I'm getting the chills as I speak right now.
Speaker: Yep. That's the first time. That was an amazing thing. Nice. All right. So, okay. So we know that um you're going through this season and I didn't want to jump ahead too far in your story, um but you you did become a teacher, right?
Speaker: Yes. And um public school biology teacher, right? bi schoole Started out middle school for one year in a pretty rough place.
Speaker: when I was still losing my eyesight and I was still driving at the time, which I probably shouldn't have been, I was doing the Mr. Magoo thing. Shouldn't have been driving. I don't know how to, that's another miracle. I drove for a few years and at night I had night blindness and I'm still sitting here.
Speaker: You know, I only had like one accident my whole career. God knows how many I caused. But I can remember times going into the Lincoln Tunnel and the light was so bright, I went blind and I went into a dark tunnel and my eyes didn't accommodate.
Speaker: And I'm driving through the Lincoln Tunnel and couldn't see a thing. And after a few seconds, the lights came back in and somehow I stayed straight. I did years of that on a tightrope of life and death.
Speaker: Again, i shouldn't be here. And we're speaking today. Yeah, sure. Sure. So, but you you got to, people can read about it in your book, the pep book, that story about your middle school age experience. That was pretty dramatic.
Speaker: That was rough. You ended up in in high school, and that was in Bloomfield or Belleville? That was in Belleville. And the first year when I spoke, my principal did not know what I was going through.
Speaker: And he said I was the worst teacher he ever saw in 40 years. He gave me an evaluation that wasn't so great. And that's what I could see. He said I was the worst teacher he ever saw.
Speaker: But he he thought I was like drunk or something cause I'd squint and had a tough time seeing. And he he wondered, what what's these faces this guy's making? I'm trying to see. I'm trying to squeeze some eyesight out of failing vision.
Speaker: But I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't see good. So that was kind of funny because he gave me the mantra, worst teacher in the world. And I always remembered that.
Speaker: yeah Those will stick. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, but when when you went into, to to weren't you going to like leave teaching because of of that? and Right. Is this the same guy that made the accommodations for you?
Speaker: No, that guy, That first guy, after one year I was out, he was glad. No, I was in a new school and I was in Belleville, a different town. And this principal, Mr. Lally, who was an angel, he was a tough guy.
Speaker: But i want I just couldn't take it anymore. i had a i Things were going bad in my life. I was losing my eyesight. I was coaching. i had a tough time seeing. it was tough being on the field.
Speaker: I could hardly see my notes when I'm teaching. I couldn't see the kids faces. Tough time even putting things in my grade book. My ex-wife had taken off on me at the time.
Speaker: and that's a whole different story. Uh, my whole life was twirling out of control and I was broken and I just couldn't take it anymore. And somebody, ah A person that worked with me, my supervisor, was not too empathetic.
Speaker: She was more worried about what might happen if I got hurt on the job than me teaching. And she as I was in my funk one day, and I was actually in tears in my little cubicle.
Speaker: And I'm not that kind of guy to do that. And she saw that. And instead of having any kind of human compassion, she said, why don't you just quit?
Speaker: And sure enough, I just couldn't take it. And that I had a resignation letter ready for that time when I couldn't handle it anymore. I was prepared and I just grabbed it out of my filing cabinet and I walked to the principal's office and I tendered my resignation.
Speaker: And as I handed it to Mr. Lally, He said, what's this? I'm not taking this. He handed it back. is I'm going to get you somebody that can be your eyes and be a student a teacher assistant.
Speaker: You're a great teacher. I've watched you work. The kids love you. The parents love you. You're not going anywhere. Get out of my office. And if you need anything, come on back and see me.
Speaker: And he kicked me out. So I went back to the office where that person was coercing me to leave. And she was very, she said, what did he say? Like she's waiting for the good news that I'm getting out.
Speaker: I can't leave. He won't let me go. got to go to class. Boom. And I went in class and my whole life turned ah turned around. I'm standing in the classroom crying. And I thought you came to that same classroom, Russ, to visit me one time. I did. Yes, sir.
Speaker: with And you're the kids I taught. I taught like the general kids. and And I'm standing by the doorway and I got tears in my eyes. And the kids saw me crying. And that's not who I am.
Speaker: And they all sat quietly watching me for the first couple of minutes of class. And I'm trying to collect myself. And one kid said, Mr. Ruff, what's wrong? Did somebody die?
Speaker: Are you okay?
Speaker: I'm not dying. My eyes are. You guys know it. I can't see. I'm losing my eyesight. I said, it's getting worse and worse. I can't do this anymore.
Speaker: And the kids all said, Mr. Ruff, you're not going anywhere. We're not going let you quit. They started yelling, you got to stay. What do you need? If you can't see it, we'll read it to you and you teach it to us.
Speaker: The light bulb went on. That's how we did it. That's how we did it. That was 1981. That that guy told me I was the worst teacher he ever saw in 1973. So it was years later it took to get to the point where I couldn't function that well.
Speaker: Got a teacher assistant. Several years later, I was named Princeton's distinguished school teacher the year. They picked four teachers from secondary school out of the whole state of New Jersey, out of a hundred and something thousand teachers.
Speaker: Nice. That was pretty cool. Yeah. And I always remember that guy set a limit for me, but I had to do my students for my best evaluators. And they they believed in me and I wanted to give everything.
Speaker: I became a better teacher because now my purpose was much bigger than me. I didn't want to let them down. And I want to show them, my students, if I could do this with my eyes closed, you could learn this with both eyes open.
Speaker: And the rest was history. Nice. to Yeah.
Speaker: yeah All right. So let's just fill in a couple of blanks here. We got... ah You meet your beautiful bride, Diane. Number two.
Speaker: First one in old, done, see you later. And my lovely wife, I met her in 1984. Right after I went blind, I met Diane when I never saw her.
Speaker: That was interesting. And then you had a baby girl. And then a few months later, you came home from school. Tell us about that day.
Speaker: Wow. Well, that's where I get the chills on this one. You know, I took the Lord in my heart in 1984 due to a friend of ours that just passed away, Jojo Canceleri, Brother Jojo.
Speaker: He told me about the Lord. He said, when you're ready, here's what you do. And I said, yeah, I'll do it someday. i'll Well, one day I did it. When I was down at my lowest rock bottom point, I asked the Lord in my heart, and everything they said is true.
Speaker: When you watch these preachers on TV that, you know, send me $20, and they shake, and they quake, and you think they're fake, guess what? They're not. When I said that sinner's prayer and asked Jesus Christ into my heart, I was a broken guy, and I was not living nice.
Speaker: And I actually felt everything come out of me. I felt that peace that they talk about beyond all understanding. And i went I went cold turkey, stopped messing around, playing around with the ladies, just got serious and and just focused for weeks in the summertime and just prayed about getting my life cleaned up and believing in him.
Speaker: Right after I did that, August 9th of 1984, August 9th is interesting because I'm a history buff. August 9th, some bad things happened. Depends which side you're looking at.
Speaker: That was the day that Nagasaki was bombed in World War II. It also was the day I met my wife, Diane. So there's good and there's All things work for good for those who know the Lord.
Speaker: I met her that day, August 9th. So we've been together about 40 years.
Speaker: I lost you. I'm still here. you hear me? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was talking about the. Oh, you were talking about what happened. Okay. I just came home from school.
Speaker: Yeah. I just want to give you that backdrop. I met Diane. Things went on. i I got the Lord in my heart, got myself correct. Russ, I'm now blind athlete and I dedicated my life to the Lord.
Speaker: and thanks him for blessing me with my wife, that's when I broke a lot of world records. That's when all that stuff you were reading in the intro started taking place because it wasn't about me anymore. I was dedicating everything to him.
Speaker: I became a world champion, world champion coach, world champion athlete, teacher the year, Princeton, teacher of the year for the United States, coach of the year, halls of fames.
Speaker: All of that happened. And then came one little girl in school one day said, Mr. Ruffalo, how could you be so happy?
Speaker: I was doing a speech at one of the schools and talking to kids about never giving up and digging for your potential and being a winner in life. It's Mr. Ruffalo, how could you be so upbeat if you've never seen your wife and your little girl?
Speaker: I had a little baby daughter at that time. And she hit me right in the heart, Russ, just like that. How could you be so happy if you've never seen your wife and little girl? I didn't forget that.
Speaker: And I went home and told my wife, I said, you know, I got a little, you know, somber one minute and said, you know, some a girl said something to me today, really got to me. What's that?
Speaker: You know, how could I be so happy if I've never seen you or little Sarah? And that's true. i always would have loved to have seen you. I said, that's the one thing i I've lived with this blindness thing. I've kind of stared my my Goliath down and my Haman down, and I've been able to work through it and become a success and have you in my life. I said, but I never saw you or Sarah.
Speaker: And that always is in the back of my mind. i know I know in heaven I have perfect eyesight, but I sure love to see on earth just once. And I actually, Russ, prayed that to the Lord.
Speaker: I did pray it silently. I prayed it to the Lord. If I could see Diane and Sarah just once, I'd appreciate it. If not, I'll wait till heaven because I know I'll have perfect eyesight.
Speaker: And I said the prayer and sometimes God says yes. Sometimes he says no. Sometimes he says wait. And sometimes we don't hear any of those answers. We just don't know. I prayed it, never thought about it.
Speaker: Days go by. It went in and out of my mind. Coming home from track practice one day, I walked up the steps of my condominium in Belleville. Walked up the steps with my cane, walked up, felt for the door, opened the door of my condo, and boom, it's like the lights went on.
Speaker: And I saw my wife, Diane, right in front of me. I actually saw her. And I started to shake. I said, hey, babe, you're looking good today. She said, oh, stop joking around. I said, I'm not joking around. I see you.
Speaker: No, come on. You just. And I told her what color her nails were, what was around her neck, what what what clothes, colors she was wearing. I'm i'm totally blind for years. And I'm seeing her.
Speaker: And I'm seeing her and I'm crying. And I fell against the wall. It was almost like I'm having a heart attack. Like you have the feeling of excitement and fright are almost the same feeling, the adrenaline.
Speaker: And I'm against the wall like this. And look to the left and my little daughter, Sarah, who's about eight months old, seven, eight months old, is on the floor of my L-shaped living room wearing a white jumpsuit with all the Italian curls, sitting Indian style, going like this.
Speaker: She's waving at me with a tongue. And I'm looking at her. I looked at my daughter. And I really started crying. Tears were coming down. I looked at my daughter. Slowly back to my wife.
Speaker: Back to my daughter. I drank in every precious moment of sight. Looked back to my wife. I looked up and said, thank you, Lord. And the lights went out. That was 1990. That actually happened to me.
Speaker: And every time I tell that story, I get choked up. That was 35 years ago. yeah Man, if that doesn't tell you there's something more than just an organic soup and a lungfish that walked out of the soup, there's something wrong.
Speaker: Right, right. Yeah, it's just awesome. We, and you know, I think um I think that We're hoping that there's a revival of that where people do look more to the spiritual side of of their being, recognizing that.
Speaker: But anyway, let me get back to public school education. Let me have one little interjection on that. I've been working on a movie project for 35 years about my life story. Not because I think I'm so great, because I think I'm not, because I think people need hope.
Speaker: And at this time in our world right now, and we have a change of government and presidencies and hopefulness and, you know, a whole new potential hopeful renaissance of spirit in America right now.
Speaker: The world needs stories of hopefulness rather than gloom and doom. So I wanted my story to be an amalgam of hope for people. And we're working on a movie one day. We've been working on for a long time.
Speaker: But that's one reason I think I have a purpose. I think I'm supposed to be here, not because I'm some anointed person or I'm somebody that's some tremendous human being. I'm a regular guy that's a sinner just like you.
Speaker: and But I believe in the good Lord and miracles happen and we can instill hopefulness to the future generations that are yet to come.
Speaker: I want to leave a legacy with my life, not because I think I'm so great, but because I'm not and he's great. And there's hopefulness and there's an eternal promise waiting for us, all of us who believe in him.
Speaker: So I'm working on that. And maybe maybe one day the timing and all the stars will line up, and maybe it'll happen. Hopefully it'll happen when I'm still here to enjoy it.
Speaker: and have popcorn and watch it and love on people? If not, I know where I'm headed. And I'll check it I have a room from above, a high view, and I'll check it out. But I would like that to happen.
Speaker: If not me, someone else. But we need good stories, Russ, out there. So people and young children and families, people going through tough times, blindness, cancer, heart attacks, loss of loved ones, loss of a child, loss of a spouse, can keep going because It's not over.
Speaker: Turn the pages into chapters of life. Don't stay stuck on a tough page. Keep turning the pages. Better chapters lie ahead. And the story is yet to be completed.
Speaker: And that epilogue is going to be wonderful one day. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I think, you know, and there is a spirit of hopefulness now that there's, there's, uh, in the media, um, there, there are more, uh, faith-based production companies, uh, popping up, um, you know, quality stories, I think are always going to make it.
Speaker: Uh, it's like you said, though, the timing, you just never know when that time, you know, it's going to come up, but your story is, uh, is right up there. The, um, So let me ask you now were you I'm sure you know listening, hearing about what's been going on in education. I know you haven't been a teacher in a few years.
Speaker: um but Officially, but I still speak at schools and I still stay involved. I know you're in touch, but I'm just saying like right now um with public education, talk to a lot of my audience are parents right now, parents of kids in school.
Speaker: um And they're going to make choices. You know, there's homeschool choices. There's private school choices. a lot of times though people don't have a choice because of finances and everything else. And right so they're they're thrust into public school. And, you know, I go into the schools now and, you know, I mean, there's so there's a way to navigate.
Speaker: But I think parents need, they can't abdicate. ah their child's education. So like if you're talking to a parent now, you know, a kid in middle school or something like that, like what, what would be your sage advice for ah extracurricular activities, habits, different things that they could do to to not guarantee success, but kind of point the kids in the right direction to equip them better.
Speaker: Well, First of all, I was a public school teacher for almost 30 years. I also am a believer. Now, so my daughter, I sent my daughter in high school four years to a Christian school, which is, you know, it's good. there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker: I know some people who homeschool. Now, homeschooling is great, and you're familiar with that, obviously, with your family. Homeschooling is great if you know how to homeschool. Sometimes people look at it, oh, I'll just look at the computer and they'll figure it out. And that's homeschooling. And, you know, they don't have to drive the kid to school in the morning and get changed and clean up and go back and forth.
Speaker: It's more than that. If you're homeschooling, you've got to be a teacher. You also have to supplant they're what they miss socially and in the public school with activities. If you're not a really engaged, involved parent, it's not necessarily a good answer.
Speaker: If you keep a kid away from the public and away from interacting with human beings, they become asocial and they become difficult to prop They become difficult problems for them to be successful interacting with others.
Speaker: So you got to be careful on that. ah Public schools, some of them are really rough. You know, not all schools can be painted with one brush. And the school is just the building.
Speaker: It's the teacher that counts. You could have ah college that's got a great reputation. ok Let me go to Oxford University. Well, you may have a lousy professor. That was terrible. You may go to Montclair State and have somebody great.
Speaker: The school doesn't produce the student. it's It's a matter of many things, the professors, the teachers, the person in there, if they're in there for the right reasons, not for the income, but for the outcome as an educator.
Speaker: My advice to parents would be, Every student needs social outlets. Sports and things like that are excellent. They're microcosms of life.
Speaker: It teaches you how to be part of a team and be part of a society and a group that works together. Definitely get your kids active in sports or music, bands, marching bands, dan dance class, whatever it may be. Kids need to interact with their peers in an extracurricular fashion so you know how to become part of ah a fellowship of society person.
Speaker: That's so important. You have to also don't think teachers are going to do it all for you. And the curriculum tells you what to do. It's a tripod, Russ. You have the teachers, the parents and the students.
Speaker: And when all three put their parts in, it becomes a tripod. And it's hard to knock down a tripod. But if it has two legs and not three, it could topple over.
Speaker: And if it's only got one leg, it'll topple over. So it's a three-way partnership between the parent or guardian, the student, him or herself, and the educational institution and teachers.
Speaker: They have to all work together. There's no wonderful answer for this. you it's ah It's a fluid thing. It could change from year to year, from school to school, and from teacher to teacher. You as a parent have to be tuned in and not stick your head in the ground because things change.
Speaker: Your student grows up, goes through puberty, adolescence, adult young adulthood. Their needs change. Their bodies are changing. Their minds are developing.
Speaker: Their social interactiveness changes. changes, the responsibilities on them become bigger and bigger, and we have to tune ourselves into all of that. No great answer to it, no simple answer, but you have to love your child enough that you're going to be there as an active participant, not a spectator in their life.
Speaker: All right. So let's let's do the scenario where a parent will... wants to be acted interact with the school
Speaker: on different levels. of yeah I remember years ago when we'd go in and the PTA would would book us in to do presentations. Yeah, ze that's where we first met at my daughter's school.
Speaker: and but So we met in Dr. Gilbert's class, and i eventual you eventually got into her school. That's right. Yeah. But I think um there was a frustration on the part of parents and maybe it's, you know, they're they're pushing too much, but they want to be part of what's going on at the school.
Speaker: But the school is basically saying, well, you know, do the bake sale and, you know, do fundraising and everything else, but leave us alone. um Like what, how does a parent approach a teacher?
Speaker: Because it seems to, to that there are teachers that are not really approachable. Good point. I've got to tell you, Russ, as as a teacher and a parent and a grandparent now, I've seen it from three different perspectives.
Speaker: And I've always said this. I said it to my peers. And some of them didn't like it. you know And I don't know. Maybe some people said I was a decent teacher rec besides that first guy. wait I was Belleville's Teacher the Year, Essence County Teacher of the Year, New Jersey Teacher of the Year, Greater Newark Teacher the Teachers Hall of Fame.
Speaker: I mean, so some people have thought I may know a little something about teaching. And one thing I tell people is in my peers as teachers, you know what? Those kids don't.
Speaker: work for us. We work for them. So the students, the teachers work for the parents and the students. We don't work for them. So sometimes people are a little haughty thinking, well, these students are here and we're here. Uh-uh.
Speaker: Students should be here and you're here helping them, pushing them up even higher. So part of it is that mindset in the beginning. A teacher should always be approachable.
Speaker: If they're not, to me, they're not a teacher. I always look forward to the kids who are struggling when you wrote a note at home if the parents called you or they called you on their own volition.
Speaker: How's my son and daughter doing? Can you give me their grades? and What can I do to help them? I love parents like that. When they have parent-teacher nights, I remember some teachers say, oh, my God, I got a full schedule of parents every 15 minutes.
Speaker: Oh, my God. Some teachers say, yeah, I only have two parents coming tonight. I got it easy. I can have a cup of coffee. You know what? If my thing wasn't booked, I was disappointed. I want to talk to the parents and not just to the kids are getting straight A's.
Speaker: And they have a right to come in and hear something good. Your kid's getting straight A's, got a 99 average. He's the greatest thing in the world. Homework's perfect. He knows more than I do. This is great. People say, well, why do those people come in? They know the kid's got an a What do they want, a pat on the back?
Speaker: That's okay. They need to know they're doing a good job. They're not always, well, my kid's got straight asked What can we do? Pray a lot. you know But it's good to it's good to interact with teachers. And they should not, some parents, or my own daughter sometimes,
Speaker: They get a little intimidated. Oh, the teacher didn't call me back. I'd be on him a second time. What do you mean they didn't call me back? Please call me back. Oh, i don't want to bother them. Bother them?
Speaker: Your students are in their hands. So don't kowtow to the teacher. But don't run them over either. Respect them. But as a teacher, respect the student and parents.
Speaker: You should be absolutely accessible to them because that kid should be the most important thing in their lives. And if not, They had to take a second look at their parenting and realize that's my legacy.
Speaker: That's my gift to the world. That's my gift to the future. That child came from me as a gift from God. And I want that kid to have as many opportunities to be the best he or she can be.
Speaker: And if it takes me giving a little nudge and making him do a little extra, I want to know what we can do. And if the teacher can suggest a few things to improve, we should keep our ears open and not be defensive.
Speaker: Should be an open, flowing, organic relationship. Because to me, the kids are the future and we hold the keys to them, the future in our hands, in our children.
Speaker: Sure. Good stuff. I had this, I don't know where I came up with it. Either I came up with it myself or, I stole it from somebody, but you probably sold it.
Speaker: Thank you. Uh, technology, technology changes at a rapid pace. Human nature never changes. Did, did you, um, like when, when you're teaching like specific course, right. You're teaching biology, right.
Speaker: Was there, um, and And there's a kid that, you know, didn't participate in class or was fallen by the wayside. or Was there a way that you used to try to get everyone engaged?
Speaker: Absolutely. I'm only asking because, you know, that's – That's always been a super challenge. I mean, I totally flunked out of... teach I mean, I got certified to teach in 76. I subbed for one year. i didn't get my dream job.
Speaker: And then I went to drive trucks. And then I bought a bar and got saved. So i totally I totally flunked as a teacher. but um But those kids, like connecting with everybody on on wherever they are and whatever they're whatever they're coming out of... their home life their temperament their personalities. like like How do you address that in a you know in a group? I mean, I know you're with them every day, but how do you you do that?
Speaker: Well, you saw me. You know how I taught. I was like an entertaining guy. Okay, I'm not a boring kind of guy. I'm very ah upbeat. That's my personality. I'm not acting.
Speaker: I'm kind of hyper. i I'm cracking jokes all the time, busting around. I mean, number one, you got to make the atmosphere fun. It can't be a boring drone session, okay, to connect with kids.
Speaker: Secondly, you know the kind of kids I taught. I taught general. Now, when I was teaching, you could teach a couple of academic classes, couple general classes, maybe an advanced class. They try to call it equity in your schedule and your preparations.
Speaker: We had some teachers, i know who mentioned it, but some of them did not want to teach the lower kids, quote unquote. And they were like, they couldn't handle them because they're tougher to deal with disciplinarily speaking. Sometimes they didn't want to do their work.
Speaker: They're harder to motivate. It's harder to get them interested. When you teach the lower echelon kids, you're the best. That's the best teachers in my opinion. If I have 25 smart kids in the class, I can be garbage and they're still going to learn.
Speaker: They're going to study. they're going to do all their work and they're going to pass. Some people it's an ego trip. So, I'd like to get a kid. First day of class, I'd get their names down.
Speaker: I'd start to memorize their names. Within one week, I'll know every kid in the class, all of their voices, where they sit, and I can't see them. And I know their names. That impresses kids. And when we took a test, I'd know all their grades. My proctor would tell me all the grades, the kid's name, Russell Jones, what'd he get, 82, Susie Smith, 94.
Speaker: And I'd listen to it. I'd say, read him again. And I remember every one. Next day, the kids come in class. Mr. Ruffalo's blind. I'll say, Russ, man, you got an 82, man. You could do a little bit more work. Get that 90. And if you get a 90, I'll give you a C note.
Speaker: You will? Yeah, I'll give you a C note. So now you're going to study really hard to get an A. And then you get an A. Hey, Mr. Ruff, where's my C note?
Speaker: want 100 bucks. I write a note. Here's a note that Russell Jones is getting a C. There's your C note. Mr. Ruff, what are you doing? I said, sorry, I didn't lie. No, I didn't lie.
Speaker: I said, I tell you what. I'll give you 100 bucks if you do it. Next time you get an ad, give you 100 bucks. Kid comes in, tries real hard. Russ, Mr. Ruff, I got an A. name He did?
Speaker: Buk, buk, buk, buk, buk. but but How many more do I have to do? Oh, man, you messed me up again. How about I'll give you a real $100 bill? Because I'm not going fall for that again.
Speaker: I got you studying again. The third time you studied, what's he going to do this time? Where's the real $100? I got these $100 bills. They're a foot long. I printed them up.
Speaker: Here you go, Russ. I would do that to the kids. And they'd oh, Mr. Ruff, you got me again. I tell you what, the next time you do get an A, I promise at the end of the year, I'll give you real money.
Speaker: You're studying, you're studying. At the end of the year, I got another A. Okay, all right, but here's a quarter. What A? I didn't say how much money. I said it'd be real.
Speaker: Oh, man, I get messed with Russ Jones now and got him all year to try to outthink me and outsmart me and win the prize. And I bust by having a little sense of humor.
Speaker: i got We had a little fun. I did that all the time. And had kids saving all their fake $100 bills and counting them. I got 2,800. How many you got?
Speaker: And they're all laughing. And I signed my name on it. Have a nice year. See you later. So creativity got to be fun. And I also would tell the kids first day of school, write your name down.
Speaker: What do you think you want to be when you grow up? If you know sophomores, juniors, what do you think you want to do after high school? You don't have to have an answer, but if you haven't, then we took then I go around and say, what did you put, John?
Speaker: I want to do this. And then I know what interests you. Russell Jones, what do you want to be? Well, I want to be a teacher, but you know i want to be i like sports and stuff. I want to be a trainer. Okay.
Speaker: I remember, because I have a great memory, what turns them on. So as I'm teaching, if I find a parallel to that, I'd point it out. You know, if we're talking about cardiovascular health or conditioning or training, I know that Russell Jones, he's falling asleep if I'm talking about flowers and petals.
Speaker: But if onto the human body, he might be psyched. I had a kid in class one day. His name was Dominic, and he was tough. He's sitting there, and he goes, first day of school, I did this routine. He's not answering.
Speaker: what What do you like? What's your favorite thing? I don't like nothing. Well, what do you like about school? I hate school. Well, what's your favorite kind of, science you know, subject?
Speaker: I don't like any subjects. I hate everything. i hate everybody. I hate all teachers. And Mr. Ruff, don't take this personal, but I hate you too. Oh, thanks. Right?
Speaker: So I said, okay, Dominic. I tell you what, i'm gonna he was a tough kid. I said, I'm going to challenge you. What do you mean? Because this kid's been fighting and thrown out class. I said, I'm going to challenge you that by the end of the year,
Speaker: I will find something in my science class, my biology class, that will interest you. He says, no way. I says, you want to bet? Put your money where your mouth is. I'll bet you a sub sandwich, any sub you want.
Speaker: By the end of the year, I'll find something that interests you. You're on. And I says, and by the way, I promise you'll pass my class and you'll want to pass my class. He goes, no way.
Speaker: I say, you're on. So, P.S., first semester, the kid gets an F. I'm not doing too good. Second semester, the kid gets an F. Not too good. By the third semester, we got into food and nutrition.
Speaker: Start talking about food. He's an Italian kid, Dominic. He goes, well, Mr. Ruff, I make a great pasta of Azul. You do? Oh, okay. You know, that's really like chemistry. Did you know that? When you mix all the stuff. What?
Speaker: And the calorie test? Yeah. You like working out? Yeah, i work out at Pompano. You do. I said, well, you got to watch your balance of your carbs and your proteins and your fats. If you want to put on quality weight, you don't want to be out of shit. we talk So now he's into nutrition.
Speaker: I got him all turned on. He passes this semester. By the end of the year, he's cranking, passes the course. Tells me at the end of the year, I said, Dominic, congratulations, you owe me a sub. What are you talking about?
Speaker: Remember the first day of school? Oh, shoot. I says, I like a meatball part. He brought me a sub, but then when he graduated, he was a tough kid. Mr. Ruff, could you do me a favor?
Speaker: What? I need a recommendation for after high school. What? This is a straight F kid. I'm going to go to culinary school and I'll open up my own restaurant. I signed it.
Speaker: He went. He opened up his own restaurant. I don't know if it was a pizzeria front for another business, but he did open the restaurant. He did open it. That's a true story.
Speaker: Absolutely. That's great. My point is you've got to connect with people. Find out what makes them tick. You don't talk to people, at people. You talk to people.
Speaker: And you talk with people. And, you know, and a look them in the eye. Even if you're blind, look them in the eye. They're important. Once you look somebody eye, you're recognizing and cognition in your mind, and their cognition is, he knows who I am. He's looking right at me, even though he can't see me. I'm important.
Speaker: I'm not looking to this way. I'm not looking over my shoulders. And has nothing to do with being blind. When you look at somebody, look them in the eye, because that means they're important to you at that moment.
Speaker: And you connect. Connections make corrections. And if it's correct and you connect, there's no telling what they're gonna do. That's my philosophy. Nice.
Speaker: All right. Well, we I was gonna ask you one more thing about one of your takeaway quotes in your book. And for anybody doesn't know, I'm gonna put it in the notes about the book Rich is Written.
Speaker: But this one quote, and I've heard you use it in number of different settings. In life, there are no overachievers, only underestimators. Did that come out of your sports or did that come out of your academic?
Speaker: That came out of both. As a matter of fact, today on Dr. Rob Gilbert's hotline, he's got an exam on there. And his 27-question exam on Dr. Gilbert's hotline, 973-743-4690. And one of the questions on his exam is, Rich Ruffalo had a famous quote, in life, there are no overachievers, there are only blanks.
Speaker: Isn't that amazing that you asked that question? And the answer is underestimators. That came from my life. That principal underestimated me. and the rest date itd me He said I was the worst teacher he ever saw.
Speaker: i became Disney's teacher the year for the whole United States. Underachiever? Overestimator? Hmm. There's no such thing as an overachiever. You only underestimated me.
Speaker: In sports, you think that's all I got? Oh, yeah? Watch this. I love, here's another quote. This is my mantra quote. When the world says you can't, champions say, watch me.
Speaker: They don't say, poor me. Watch me. You don't think I can do it? Watch me. Do you know I locked and loaded that in my mind, Russ, when that guy told me that my first year of teaching?
Speaker: I did not want my legacy to be that that guy was right and I was that bad. I went from the worst to the first. I went from the outhouse to the penthouse because he didn't believe in me and I wanted to prove him wrong.
Speaker: So I did that in sports. I wasn't a great athlete. I made myself a great athlete. I hit a punching bag 25 years in a row After the Rocky movie, I got a heavy bag, went through several of them.
Speaker: I punched 45 minutes a day, almost every day, almost every day for 25 years, 45 minutes a day without stopping to keep my explosiveness.
Speaker: I did that and trained through my training and lifting and throwing through all my years as a Paralympic athlete. And I got 17 gold medals, three world championship medals as a coach,
Speaker: Many, many world records. I was the number one ranked blind athlete in the history of the United States and the world for my events. Why? Because somebody didn't believe I could do it.
Speaker: It probably me more than anybody. I looked in the mirror and said, you don't think you're tough enough? Toughen up, son. And I did. And the only way you could do it is you out train your dreams and out train and out perform and train more than you ever thought you possibly could.
Speaker: And then you train a little more. And eventually the goals you want to hit in life will happen. Whether it's a speaker, whether it's and being an author with a bestselling book.
Speaker: By the way, my book was self-published. It's hard to sell over 100,000 books without a publisher helping you. This was self-published from the back of the room over many, many years.
Speaker: So I like challenges. World says you can't champion, say watch me. And in life, there are no, I'm little literal proof that there is no overachiever in me.
Speaker: Don't underestimate me. Never underestimate the power of the human spirit and somebody who's really locked in. If you're just narcissistically locked in because you think you're the best in the world and it's all about you, it's not going to happen.
Speaker: The best team doesn't always win. The team that plays best will win. The best athlete doesn't always win. The athlete that performs the best wins. Well, when you have a reason bigger than yourself, like your God, your family, your child, the children that are crippled and blind, that that can't do things and you want to dedicate it to them, that's when you soar over the heights and bars that others have set as your limits.
Speaker: that the world has placed there. And you can just soar over and say, i told you so. Raise the bar. Raise the bar. And I've always lit that. Now, does it mean I always win?
Speaker: No, I knock the bar down a lot. I don't always win. I got my butt kicked a lot. I lost a bunch of times. But you can't win unless you lose some. you can't win unless you lose. When you lose, either you quit or you say, oh, yeah, I'm going to improve.
Speaker: If you improve next time, you may not lose. You just keep going. You keep trying. You keep trying. There was a guy down here said, you know, I failed a real estate test six times. He's selling condos down here, left and right.
Speaker: What did you do? How did you fail? What did what you do after that? Took it until I passed it on the seventh time. Now I'm selling condos. Wow. So you just never quit. Yeah.
Speaker: Good stuff. All right, man. I appreciate the time today. of his It was good catching up and getting perspective on this stuff. So anyway.
Speaker: I'm still mad at you for handing me that deck of cards that I couldn't rip. That's funny I quit. though i' like That's all right. I'll teach you someday when we get together. I can do them one at a time.
Speaker: Yeah, I know. 52-card pickup. Exactly. ah No, Russ, i I appreciate coming on, man. This is always fun. to to You know, we don't see each other. Well, I don't see you ever because I can't see.
Speaker: But whenever we get together, it's like it was yesterday. Yes, sir. You're a good man. You've got a great family. You've got a great message. And you keep doing it too, man.
Speaker: I will. You're not an overachiever either. No, sir. Anyway, that's a wrap. I hope everyone enjoyed today's episode and you got some takeaways that you can use.
Speaker: More information on Rich Ruffalo's books and YouTube page will be in the notes. Please share this with your friends and don't forget all my stuff at russelljospeaks dot com if you're a parent or grandparent or mentor to attend a 10 to 13 year old, check out our 60 day transformational interactive video series, top secrets of success for kids and parents. It's amazing. It will equip and encourage parents and kids.
Speaker: Yes. Top secrets of success.com. Get on our email list, jump on a call with me. And in the words of the inimitable Hulk Hogan, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you'll never go wrong.
Speaker: Then you can all go and make it a great day. Bye for now. Take care.
