Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep. 1: Nearly Not A Nipple
102 Plays2 months ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet stories. In this episode we talk about international cat day, the barkweb, nipple confusion and we end with a spooky tale. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spill@spillthekibble.com
TW-dog poop, mentions of a gun, and nipples
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Spill the Kibble'
00:00:01
Speaker
You're listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is
Meet the Hosts: Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. N
00:00:25
Speaker
advised. And with that, let's go to the show. Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel.
00:00:31
Speaker
I'm Dr. G. And I'm Dr. N. And we're here to tell your clinic stories. But first, how y'all doing?
00:00:41
Speaker
So great. So
Celebrating International Cat Day
00:00:43
Speaker
great. We are great two, three days past International Cat Day 2025 and got me feeling some kind of way.
00:00:52
Speaker
I love cats. How'd you guys celebrate this year? Did you do anything special? Just, you know, curled up with ah just a Big old goblet of wine. Two books simultaneously. Catnip wine?
00:01:07
Speaker
One cat. They make catnip wine now? Oh, yeah. I'll try it. I don't give my cat catnip. Oh, you don't give your cat the devil's lettuce? You do that? You guys do that? Lay on the sauce?
00:01:18
Speaker
You're straight laced?
Pet Anecdotes and Catnip Culture
00:01:20
Speaker
You don't believe in getting your kids high? You're not a cool parent? Your cat has an XXX tattoo? Do as I say, not as I done dud. Dare for cats brought to you by Dr. G. Dogs against.
00:01:35
Speaker
Yeah, what would be dogs against recreational entertainment? Yes. ah Yeah, catnip's great. They love it. They go feral for that stuff.
00:01:47
Speaker
I was going to say, I give my cats catnip, but not just any catnip. catnip I bought from the Mennonites. Oh, you want that good, good. think growing, homegrown, like the good shit.
00:02:01
Speaker
All right. Yeah. Or organic. From like, you know, the country barrel general store. She's sourcing it all organic, no pesticides, ready to rock, you know.
00:02:15
Speaker
I just want, you know, what if, You know, what if she steals my credit card? What if she, you know, goes down to the corner store? i don't... You gotta trust. You gotta learn to trust. She's your daughter.
Aging Pets and Emotional Challenges
00:02:26
Speaker
I know. I just had to register at one of my relief clinics because I needed to get her some antibiotic ointment for one of her eyes. Mm-hmm. And, ah man, made me just think about how old she is again, and it's... I don't... fine. She's only 11.
00:02:41
Speaker
I don't choose to think about it. She's only 11-ish, and... Some, I've heard of cats living to be 21. Some guy the other day told me he heard about a dog that lived at 30-something years old. I thought I saw that somewhere on the internet. I just cannot.
00:02:55
Speaker
I can't believe it. No, fake news. I need yearly pictures. Give me a newspaper in the shot. Yeah. um I just can't. Gotta make sure it's set a little time traveler. wonder if there's a Guinness Book of World Record. I'll bet there is one, but it's probably not that guy, and...
00:03:12
Speaker
How? Because he doesn't have the receipts. He can't prove it. Show me the... Is that also the guy who said his mom was a teacher and she had a kid named Lemon
Urban Legends and Pet Myths
00:03:22
Speaker
Cello?
00:03:23
Speaker
It's the same guy. so like Orange Cello, Orangelo, and Limongelo? No, we are know favorite those are my two favorite drag stars.
00:03:34
Speaker
We all know it because she craved them when she was pregnant. We've heard the tale. That was pre-internet, baby. it was. That got around urban style.
00:03:45
Speaker
Urban style? Yeah, like urban legends. Oh, okay. But not like mafia. I was thinking of a dictionary or some sort of deep dark. Oh, no. Before the internet. Did we talk about the dark web too much?
00:03:57
Speaker
Have we talked about it at all? I think this is the first time we're talking about the dark web. Sorry, guys. Do I think about the dark web too much? I think that's a more accurate, yes. It's possible.
00:04:08
Speaker
we're goingnna We're going to put that away. I kind of, I know like it's a thing, but I like think that everybody makes it seem more like than it really is.
00:04:19
Speaker
I think that's what all of us up on the above ground are thinking. Yeah, because we're not in it in the trenches. Now, listen, but so we create our own version called the Bark Web?
00:04:33
Speaker
Bark Web. Okay, that's already better than my version of the Dork Web. oh And do some sort of dog and cat situation. well i don't know what it would What was it? The twilight bark?
00:04:46
Speaker
Yes. We can get news out. From 101 Dalmatians. The bark web could be a future segment. Yeah. Could. Could be the bark web. If we do, right? If we're short on a story. If we need to scour Reddit or anything. We're going take a trip down the bark web.
00:05:02
Speaker
Let's turn to the bark web. That's pretty good.
Creative Cat Celebrations
00:05:06
Speaker
No, we we made a nice little mural of all of the ah cats that belonged to the employees and posted it for International Cat Day. you really did a thing. We did.
00:05:16
Speaker
And then we asked people to share their cat photos. So it was very cute. ah Very wholesome. Pussies on parade. Pussies on parade. That's what we called How'd you know? You saw it?
00:05:29
Speaker
i did. Yeah, I'm, ah you know, I'm on that bark web. but The internet is lovely, dark and deep. Okay, so you got excited about International Cat Day. Dr. M, anything?
00:05:40
Speaker
Oh, what was i excited about this week? um i took a little adventure to a quarry-turned-natural pool as one does over the weekend, and there was more duck ah goose and duck poop inside the pool than i thought was appropriate. oh Like a little bit of like a...
00:06:03
Speaker
Just like a fine layer. that where you get your you go down to the old goose, goose poop quarry and that's where you source your catnip Shh, don't tell everyone. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, no, no, no.
00:06:14
Speaker
It all flooded, it's uninhabitable. Yeah, carry that No, I did, I went with a vet school friend though. I got to see her, we haven't hung out in a little while and she invited me. She did not know it would be so goose poopy.
00:06:27
Speaker
um We still had a great time, but it was a it was a lot of um adults just floating in some questionable water plating on a Sunday morning. You regret not having gone down under the bridge or by the train tracks or something like you usually do? You figured the floating gooseberry quarry was really going
00:06:47
Speaker
to glory days. yeah Listen, i I didn't select it as our location, but I'm not mad that I went. It was still very relaxing once you got beyond the goose layer.
00:07:00
Speaker
you're floating and looking up, sky's great. Yeah. And I had a butterfly float and my friend had a unicorn float. so we nice. Kids at the float. ah Did you buy them specifically for this?
00:07:13
Speaker
Yes. At that point, you have to participate if you've already bought the unicorn and butterfly floats. You know what i mean? Yeah. yeah I'm just having a tough time imagining these probably initially pristine floats just covered in this fine layers you've described. It's a little hyperbolic. There was some goose poop. It felt like too much for a public place. I'm imagining full-blown a quarry-sized layer of pudding skin.
00:07:40
Speaker
but No one is cleaning the quarry. No. Green and gumpy. yeah Right. Not at all. but But it's a quarry-turned pool. Sand on the ground. Buoys throughout.
00:07:52
Speaker
Okay. It's an interesting Venn diagram of pool and quarry. i don't know that I'll go back, but I did go and it was lovely. It was an experience.
Vet Exams and Humorous Misunderstandings
00:08:03
Speaker
It was an experience. And what is life but not a series of experiences? i had so few health scares ah this past week for me, so um her you're going to win this one.
00:08:13
Speaker
At one point, I did have a coughing spell, and I was a little concerned what could have triggered it, but I'm okay. I've been fine. no. Yeah. No, it's fine. It's probably fine. Dr. M, how often are you letting patients give you a smooch on the cheek, the nose, the eyeball, and end of the day, um the mouth?
00:08:34
Speaker
Daily. Daily. How often does someone tell you after that that their dog eats poop? Daily. So unfair.
00:08:44
Speaker
So, so uncool. It's incredibly uncool. I am curbside right now, so I'm having some guilt-free kisses. Oh, okay. Just really, ignorance is bliss.
00:08:56
Speaker
Ignorance truly is brit bliss. Is it the goose poop? Is it the dog that kissed me in the mouth? We don't know what's happening. unwell. I do have to circle back. I do have to take it right back that ignorance is bliss because ah it's a covenant and...
00:09:12
Speaker
Yeah. You can't say that.
00:09:16
Speaker
Wait, so why are you curbside? And how does that make it their breath any less poop addled? Oh, it does not. It just nobody's there to tell me after I've accidentally Frenched a poodle.
00:09:28
Speaker
So it's just you. Uh-huh. Oh, I like the French poodle French kiss. Yeah, of course. So it's just, this is between you, the French, and your debilitating bout of roundworms.
00:09:43
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Okay. But I've never been skinny. Yikes. Hey, kissing the French has never looked better on anyone. Thanks so much. Yeah. no do you do you often get a whoopsie kiss? Yeah.
00:09:57
Speaker
I do. Yeah, no, I get down on the ground. I meet you. i I try to do most of my exams on the floor. um Yeah. Except for cats. Cats like being up top, but down on the ground. So they're up in your business. And. you Rather than having people try to figure stuff out when I'm generally listening to their chest with my stethoscope, they're they're going in for the kiss and I'm i'm not fighting too hard.
00:10:18
Speaker
But then to come back at me shortly after that of like, so not even apologize. Not that they need to apologize, but. so Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not great. Well, on that note.
00:10:31
Speaker
I don't know why you'd want to stop that magic from happening. Everybody wants to listen to 20 more minutes of that. Kel probably has something way grosser to talk about, so let's go. You know what? That's fair. That's fair.
00:10:42
Speaker
The office is closed. The phones are off. The labs have been sent out. It's time to spill the kibble. a I got stories for you. It's my favorite part. All right.
00:10:54
Speaker
Okay. So...
00:10:57
Speaker
I work 12-hour shifts at a walk-in practice. Woof. ah know. I don't even do that. and I'm like, mm. I'm to stop you right there. Woof.
00:11:08
Speaker
Good for that person, honestly. It was one of those I didn't have time to pee or smash a sandwich into my face in 47 seconds kind of days. yeah I get ready to go to my nest next exam room, and it's a male,
00:11:23
Speaker
um Leonberger? The big, hairy guy. Say it more French, though. Lianboge. Perfecto.
00:11:34
Speaker
I love it. I looked it up. It's like a its just like a big, like really big, hairy, kind of like almost like Great Danish kind of.
00:11:46
Speaker
A lot of fur. like Are they also lion hunters, or is that just Rhodesian Ridgebacks? I don't think they are, but I could be wrong.
00:11:58
Speaker
lion, burger, eater? They're from Leinburg, Germany. How many lions do they have in Germany?
00:12:09
Speaker
how many lions do they have make get that cut that out i ah yeah There is at least lion in Germany. I'm probably yeah i think you're probably right ah They're large breed dogs with them usually weighing of average of at least 100 pounds, if not up 170 for the males.
00:12:31
Speaker
um Their life expectancy is 89 years old and they come in the colors mahogany, sandy, red and yellow. And they don't fight lions, but they probably did. What a pallet.
00:12:42
Speaker
So the Liam Berger is here for a check tick on belly owner not able to remove. Whew. The spidey senses. The spidey senses are tingling all already.
00:12:55
Speaker
i think we need to start racing each other to call that it's a nipple. and Now just about everyone in Vet Med is going to groan at that because they just know it's going to be a nipple.
00:13:13
Speaker
Story submitter says ding, ding, ding. It's a nipple.
00:13:18
Speaker
Perfect, perfect. The owner, who constantly brought this dog in for the most trivial things, looks at me and says, but he's a male dog.
00:13:30
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Classic. I've got nipples too, Greg. Can you milk me? In my tired, bladderful, ravenous, covered in husky hair stare, I said, sir, do you have nipples?
00:13:44
Speaker
Speak truth to power. I like this. I like this, Doc. To which the owner replies, yes, actually, I have three. Now that is a curveball that I should not seek out many.
00:13:58
Speaker
First of all, he has three, so the fact that this dog has more than one nipple wouldn't be confusing. No. Well, even just, like, you should be more nipple aware if you've got more than the average bear. Your nipple aware myth has to be at least three times-ish.
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. than the average Joe. I feel like, yeah, you got nipple on the brain from the early days. Well, wait, we haven't gotten to the part where this client's probably going to say that they also have three ticks on them actively.
00:14:30
Speaker
No, he proceeds to lift up his shirt and expose his hairy chest. That almost rivaled the Lamberger's fur and proudly showed me his third nipple.
00:14:43
Speaker
His third nipple was buried under all that burnt mahogany. Yeah. Yeah. Oh gosh, that's beautiful. and wanted to be mad, but I had literally asked him. I try not to let the snark win now.
00:14:58
Speaker
She did ask. That's fair. he He matched the energy and honestly, kudos to both of them because that's pretty fantastic. i did i did have an owner today bring their dog in for a rash Could not find this rash. They were like, it's right near her butt. And I was like, looking, looking, looking. Again, I'm curbside right now, so they're not in there to help me. And I said, sir, you have to come back.
00:15:20
Speaker
I don't, like I truly, five people have checked this dog. Not a single one of us can find even an iota on a rash. Please show me the rash on your dog. And he proceeds to point out her vulva me.
00:15:35
Speaker
Oh, he said gash. No. No. No.
00:15:41
Speaker
now We're already across the pond. We're already across the ponds, okay? I think that's the thing that happens. No, he truly thought it was like a weird hotspot. And then he was like, well, that is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me in a long time. And I said, please don't be embarrassed.
00:15:56
Speaker
The Volvo looks like you're not the worst person. You're not the worst person. He nice about it. Yeah, I had one today. It was five-week-old puppy.
00:16:08
Speaker
ah So cute. ah But definitely people people needed me to confirm if it was a boy or a girl dog. And we're talking kittens, that's one thing. who This felt pretty cut and dry to me.
00:16:22
Speaker
But i i held back I held back my judgment. Why is it harder on kittens? It's just so little, and it's just a little but just a little speck back by their butt.
00:16:33
Speaker
Well, yeah, everything's a little bit like it's ah it's a smaller neighborhood for cats. Dogs, you get a little bit more land in between the house and the garage. Cats, it's more of a condo situation.
00:16:46
Speaker
An infinitesimal gooch on a cat, yeah. More of, oh my gosh. More double-decker, you know, above the garage condo situation. ah Yeah, you've got your camper parked out front and.
00:17:01
Speaker
Yeah, I had another one today, too, that was because you were talking about looking for a legion around the butt. It was not it's not over related, but this is a dog that it had some diarrhea, but really a big thing that was bothering it. This was written in the ah the appointment note.
00:17:15
Speaker
um Their dog keeps sitting and spitting. Sitting and spinning or spinning? Sitting and spinning. And we for everyone else out there, ah that painted a real word picture for for me and my staff.
00:17:34
Speaker
And um we would all request that you say scooting. You can say scooting in a circular way, clockwise scooting.
00:17:45
Speaker
not does this one. It really matter the scoot pattern, right? It's like no all the same problem. doesn't matter. Well, south of the equator, they scoot, they sit and spin counterclockwise. If he scoots counterclockwise, it's this. He's actually spelling out his name the with his hips as he goes. So that's weird, right?
00:18:07
Speaker
Ouija board situation with. Oh, my God. Actually, that's a really good segue to the next story. i I'm thrilled but that organically happened. Please.
00:18:20
Speaker
wait so me what about that So the Leigh-en-Burger didn't have a tick? No, he just had a nipple. oh Imagine if it was a tick after all that. no and Okay, fair enough.
Ghostly Pet Tales and Mystical Misconceptions
00:18:31
Speaker
Okay, so I have a patient with a very sensitive stomach. How sensitive is it? A single crumb can make his rectum squirt like a fire hose.
00:18:44
Speaker
Oh my God. doesn't matter, crumb anything.
00:18:52
Speaker
That is rough. I see he's waiting to be seen for vomiting and diarrhea and I think, oh Lord, what did he do now?
00:19:02
Speaker
Little did I know the Holy Spirit would be involved in this case. Oh my goodness. I had to go talk to this very polite petite older woman owner and ask what happened.
00:19:14
Speaker
She responds serious as a heart attack. A ghost fed him chicken thighs.
00:19:25
Speaker
What?
00:19:27
Speaker
A ghost fed him chicken thighs. corporeal chicken thighs? Wait, hang on. This appointment took place on November 1st, I have to imagine.
00:19:39
Speaker
Yeah, after the Day of the Dead, of course. Yeah.
00:19:44
Speaker
ah That's amazing. I need to know more immediately. ah Excuse me? yeah That old ghost got the plate of chicken thighs off the counter and brought them to my dog laying on the couch.
00:20:01
Speaker
Ooh, this dog has got his mom tricked. What service, though, if you have a ghost butler? True. That really is peak.
00:20:12
Speaker
Peeps.
00:20:16
Speaker
Peak luxury, you know? Haunted house with a ghost butler. If this was real, like I just imagine the stupid special effects of plate of chicken thighs just going over to the couch. Just hovering. out That's amazing. the ghost is like, I'm a poltergeist that just deals with diarrhea.
00:20:35
Speaker
I just need to know how she decided it was a ghost. Does it say any more? Does it give us more lore here? We have some more. Okay. Okay. Kind of. I don't know.
00:20:48
Speaker
I just respond, oh. She assures me it won't happen again. i bite. How does one prevent a chicken feeding ghost?
00:21:00
Speaker
and for so you tell That's all of our question. true She tells me, don't worry, doc. I saged my whole house. I had the burning sage in my left hand and my glock in the right.
00:21:17
Speaker
What the fuck? Just in case it was live one.
00:21:26
Speaker
And to her credit, he hasn't had any poltergeist-related dietary indiscretions since. Poultry geist. Wow.
00:21:37
Speaker
classic put that in your diagnosis that's truly remarkable ah you know what I take back everything I said about not wanting to work the shift that this doctor is describing because if this is the entertainment that you're getting while you're running on fumes I think that I would I would be so elated and also remember this is a very polite petite older woman Sure.
00:22:03
Speaker
This is overnight energy. She went around the house. The dog probably followed her with her sage and her glock. That is funny. The glock is really what sells it.
00:22:14
Speaker
12 hour shift. So I think there's this had to be an overnight. Also, never, ever imagined a ghost would be a live one. True. ah Because what what's crazier, a ghost feeding chicken thighs to your dog who's asleep on the couch or a stranger breaking into your home simply to feed feed chicken thighs to your dog?
00:22:36
Speaker
Like a frogger? oh like a frogger. A frogger? That's what they call it when people like squat in a home where that you live in. Oh, like the creeps in the attic. They're like hiding in your home. And sneak down when everyone's asleep. They call it frogging. Oh, okay.
00:22:55
Speaker
Kind of keeping away from you and your routine? I don't know where it came from. i think it's also with a PH. and Okay. Okay. Okay. There was tribe crew.
00:23:07
Speaker
Oh, tribe crew. oh tribe crew ah Screw crime.
Bizarre Living Situations and Listener Stories
00:23:14
Speaker
There was a true crime show called like frogging like Hider in My House.
00:23:21
Speaker
Hider in My House. I do get a little scared of that, even though there's no logical reason for there to be anyone living in my home. But we do have like one of those spooky little attics. So you have to get on the ladder to go like stick your head up in there.
00:23:33
Speaker
and i'm i'm too scared to look because if i opened that little trap door and i saw a pair of beady eyes staring at me i'd shit my pants where they hide worse than that dog who ate ghost thighs get out of there stop looking at me like that frogging is the act of someone secretly living in another person's home without their knowledge or permission i would think you wouldn't have permission if they don't have knowledge but okay Yeah, beg for forgiveness kind of situation, I guess. Yeah, that's true.
00:24:02
Speaker
Intruder hides in areas like attics, basements, or crawl spaces and lives alongside the unsuspecting resident. Wow. So were these two stories from two different people or is this the same submitter?
00:24:18
Speaker
Same submitter. So I've loved every story that's been shared with us. There was there was there was ah strong voice in here. this was This was written pretty poetically and I fully endorse this kind of embellishment and energy.
00:24:36
Speaker
yes And this submitter has two more but maybe we'll wait till next time. Okay. Okay. i mean ok Okay. Bury the little little. Give us a little something to look forward to. A submitter, if you hear this, we love your stories. Keep them coming. If you think of more, our inbox is open.
00:24:55
Speaker
You should work longer hours, too. I think the stories are only going better if you start going above 12 a day. like Safely. Take a break. have to assume this is only the top four.
00:25:06
Speaker
Okay. Or maybe just from this week. We truly don't know. The most recent four. Yeah. Keep them coming. Yeah, they're beautiful. Thank you so much.
00:25:17
Speaker
Everyone, keep them coming. Keep coming. Guys, we did it. We did it. Is everybody full? Did they get enough kibble?
00:25:30
Speaker
Don't eat it too fast and throw up, I swear to God. Yeah, no bolting. Don't put us on two times speed. It'll make you sick.
00:25:40
Speaker
ah Thank you again
Closing Thoughts and Call for Submissions
00:25:41
Speaker
for listening with us. That was so much fun, you guys. we just spilled the kibble. Keep it smudged and loaded.
00:25:49
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team.
00:26:01
Speaker
And a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share? Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story.
00:26:12
Speaker
Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.