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Ep. 101 Unavoidable - De Profundis
103 Plays3 years ago
This week, the party moves onwards towards blight, all that stands in their way are a few Dragons!?!?
Follow us on our Twitters - @FellowshipTable
Intro written and produced by Joseph McDade - https://josephmcdade.com/
The Fellowship Party Twitter Pages:
- The DM/Mark - @HastilyRolledDM
- Drago/Ian - @IRolledA1
- Folly/Callum - @TheD20Gamer
- Princess Helena/Casey - @unicorncrit
- Carstan/Will - @Natural20Will
- Robin/Darren - @DarrenPage06
- Claude/Danny - @totalpartythrlz
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Transcript
A Humorous Start and Character Introductions
00:00:00
Speaker
Fuck off, James Chapman.
00:00:28
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Fellowship of the Tabletop. We are alive, play 5E DnD podcast, set in the magical homebrew board of Aerith. My name is Mark Ather, don't do Mass Town. Also on today's episode, we have Casey who plays the human champion Hell in the Sneak Guard. Sir Bip. With God, Danny who plays the human cleric, Claude. I'm choking on a pretzel. Darren who plays... Darren who plays the... Good Lord, Danny. Darren who plays the... God, I can't say that. Darren who plays the human fighter, Rogue Robin.
00:00:53
Speaker
I'm just a nice guy. Nazgai! We've got Ian who plays the Dragonborn barbarian paladin Drago. Van Ness! We've got Calin plays an own sorcerer, Folly Fizz by the lights. Hello there, I am loving this energy so far. Unfortunately, Will cannot be with us for this episode, this bumper edition episode, as we head deeper into the blights.
00:01:12
Speaker
Last week's episode of The Fellowship of the Tabletop, we did very little.
Recap of Previous Episode's Challenges
00:01:16
Speaker
We found out that your DM cannot do NPCs anymore. And he turned into a horrific French-Spanish stereotype. So apologies to all the French-Spanish listeners. That changed, folks. That changed, folks. Yeah, it was awful. That's all I can say. Yeah, for some reason, I needed to drop some plot information and could see through the concept of D&D and became the meta-DM slash NPC slash something terrible in between. It was a character and wasn't a character so many
00:01:42
Speaker
However, we got some information out of him from Crete Lish Golgrapher, aka Chris, as Robin aptly named him, aka Nice Guy, about their next encounter, which was with a series, an open area where a series of dragon nests were, and these weren't living dragon nests, they were undead dragon nests.
00:02:01
Speaker
uh maybe relatives of or akin akin sorry or kin to gal greath the large adult dragon that roams the lands of the blight lands that uh claud had managed to do a bit of damage on with his forbidden spell earlier a few episodes ago
Planning the Blightlands Campaign
00:02:20
Speaker
He told that information and also warned them about them letting them do a squawk. If they squawk, they'll call Golgoth was pretty much his message. Upon complaining about his family being killed and about the elitism in the party, Chris left and went back to see, quote unquote, the angels, which were Lucian and Vance up on the cliff edge as a prisoner of war. Hopefully never to be seen again, but you never know these days.
00:02:47
Speaker
The group started to make their way across the dead grounds of the Blightlands towards the second area that they need to clear, the second of three. If they clear the three areas, three portals can be set up and the armies of the living can be brought through as a distraction, aka Lord of the Rings, to allow the party to reach the tower and hopefully end the Blightlands.
00:03:09
Speaker
We start off with the party heading towards this second area of dragon nests that are buried in this dead and rotting land next to a slow sludge moving river of death and decay. The group are just outside from this area and what they can see in front of them and what you can see in front of you is a large jutting out sheer cliff face that is about 40 feet high.
00:03:37
Speaker
To your right and about 50 or 60 feet away the cliff obviously calms down into more of a small hill which you could climb up upon. To your left and to the other side of the cliffs are like a corner of the river which ends in a bit of a dead end.
00:03:53
Speaker
You can also make out a number of trees that seem to have almost been petrified. They haven't lost their leaves like all the other trees. These have almost been petrified solid so their leaves are blistered on to the trees so they still retain their leaf-like features. However, these leaves are black and almost look more like ash than that of the living trees.
Approaching the Dragon Nests
00:04:14
Speaker
you can just make out your right and about 60 or 70 feet away one of the first of nine large mounds of dirt this is freshly milled dirt and from it a layer of brown and green smoke acrid seems to float and hang like mist all around this area you form up as a group near to a nearby tree outside and away from it you cannot see any movement of anything living, unliving, dead or undead
00:04:45
Speaker
And yet the silence still remains apart from the ever groaning noise of the cacophony of the undead getting closer and closer as you approach the tower. What would you like to do? We stand in silence, staring at it all. I think it's best if we have a plan for what I assume is going to come out of those what look like nests. How about we just blow them up?
00:05:16
Speaker
Yeah, fully, only good ideas. Well, I'm just thinking. Our friend Chris said these were dragons, yes? We could expect dragons? Yes, I'm dead ones. Does that stop you from using a fire scroll bomb thing?
00:05:38
Speaker
I'm wondering if I might be able to turn the tide somewhat on them. I don't know if it'd work on undead. Has anybody got any experience in trying to hypnotize or control undead things? Claude, probably you. Yes, I have experience with the undead things. Do they have the minds that can be controlled or are they so stupid that they can't be controlled?
00:06:08
Speaker
I'm just pondering. I have a spell that... Well, I believe it would work on dragons, and if they're not that smart, then we may be able to bring them over to our side. I have something to confess, Folly. I've never met a dragon before, other than Drago.
00:06:26
Speaker
Folly, may I make a suggestion that the stakes are very high and we should look for surety rather than obscurity?
Confronting Galgrove and Strategy Discussion
00:06:34
Speaker
This is why I'm talking to Claude, our resident undead expert.
00:06:40
Speaker
yes but i'd say just do it folly do it i think you've got a great idea there here's the thing i need to see them at the moment i just see mountains well well i'm sure we can get them out of here and i i'm convinced from what i can imagine they look like nests now here's the thing if we need to take these down and we take them down before they make any noise so
00:07:06
Speaker
Here's the solution. We kill them as quickly as we can and if we have the means of getting rid of them, by other means, and he'll look at Claude, I've seen you banish undead things before, then we should perhaps look to remove one or two of them as quick as we can and then look to deal with what's left. Chris said that not to let them squawk. How about if we each take a mound each?
00:07:33
Speaker
I mean, how confident are we that we could all solo a little dragon ourselves? I am pretty confident. Drago, I should hope that you are too. Sorry, my head was elsewhere. You're confident to take on a solo dragon? Could you kill one of your own, Drago?
00:07:53
Speaker
Yeah, well, it's not really one of my own if it's undead. In fact, it's an abomination against my kind. I just think if we tackle them each solely, then we should get them killed quicker, correct? There is another option. I have another option too. Well, let's hear yours first. What happens if we just signal the dragon?
00:08:19
Speaker
That doesn't seem like a smart thing to do. I don't want more to that plan. Yes, that would work. If we draw him out, Galgrath, yes, we will have to fight him. But it feels that that is an inevitable point in our journey onwards to defeat the Blight.
00:08:43
Speaker
If we defeat him now, we limit the number of casualties to our own troops and our living. And if we don't defeat him now, then he's going to unleash his power against the army that we're bringing forwards. And? And I would say that we're more equipped to take on an undead dragon than they are. They're undead and I can hurt them badly if you give me 10 minutes.
00:09:14
Speaker
10 minutes by the dragon. Here's a counterpoint, if I may. I think it's a great plan. Nice counterpoint, right then. No, no, no. But there is other things that we could consider. And I'm looking at Folly and Claude as casters. And I suppose cast Anivi around. Here's the story. He's standing nearby, looking tentatively at you all.
00:09:44
Speaker
We, myself and Drago once, fought a man who was able to stop spells being cast by turning the air to silence around him. Now that would compromise our casters if they were within that area, but a silent spell would prevent noise from escaping this area, would it not? Yes, but I can't silence this entire area. It's very small. There's nine of them. What do you feel about drawing out the dragon, Robin?
00:10:16
Speaker
It's the best plan we have. I think if we draw him out, we draw him out after we've defeated these dragons. I agree. We leave one and make him squeal. Do we start to kill these dragons? I think they'll be squealing anyway. Very true. I mean, it certainly gives us the ability to lose the stealth part of this, but I just feel like this fight is going to be inevitable. We may as well
00:10:45
Speaker
Do it now to limit the death. It can make everything burn within seven miles. Yes, that's a good plan. A castan, have you got any tunes up your sleeves that will help to, you know, make the dragons docile or something like that? Maybe you could give us one now, a little rendition.
00:11:10
Speaker
Maybe if you weren't muted, we'd be able to hear you. That's a good idea. Yeah. I was speaking music for a while. Uh, yes. Uh, we possibly, I think I might have, uh, sorry, I'm just a bit, um, my mind's a bit, um, sorry. Get out of your mood and actually get some music. Yeah. Uh, of course. Yes. Of course. Right. What?
00:11:38
Speaker
As Carstan says that I'm just going to pull Ghostbane out of its sheath and see if there is any detection of colour to suggest that we are indeed near to the undead.
Battle with Undead Dragons Begins
00:11:48
Speaker
It is glowing brightly. Well that's where they are in case we needed any further confirmation. I don't think we did. Carstan we're after a spell that allows the dragons to be hypnotised or at least for them to
00:12:05
Speaker
not be as alert as we would hope that they can't he uh looks at you Helena and nods yeah yes of course um let me just look through my book to see what i can um find uh yes just uh just give him a moment and he's going to turn and start flitting through his pages to see what you can find in terms of a spell to cast though i haven't got castan's character she casey stop dropping me in it please
00:12:35
Speaker
I don't know anything about his character. I tried. I tried. I could do a song. He's not going to take part in this part of the combat. I was going to just kill him off for a bit. Just to give you a quick heads up of how this is going to work in turn, because I told you about them squawking, what it will take is that they will take one turn to take a breath. And if they are not stopped by the second turn, they will unleash a call for help.
00:13:04
Speaker
So if you want to keep them quiet, you get a turns worth of time to stop them. If you hit them or cause damage to them in any way, it's like they lose their breath and they have to take another turn. Another kind of bonus action to take a breath and another bonus action of the next turn to release it.
00:13:20
Speaker
It'll be quite obvious when they're kind of taking a breath, if indeed you want to stop them from squawking. It's not like making little noises. They have to call out across miles to, to Galgrath. And yeah, they've called out across miles. So it's a big old beacon for help that takes turns worth of time to kind of breathe in and then release. So, um, it's up to you. Both ways are awesome. Both ways you find dragons.
00:13:51
Speaker
Let's fight some dragons and let's try and use one to lure Galgoth in. Maybe we could, I don't know, trap him at the end and set up a trap for Galgoth and fight him on our terms rather than fight him on his. Yes, we've agreed that we're all going to take one each, yes?
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's the best way forward. I'm just making sure we're keeping one alive.
00:14:24
Speaker
Is someone's phone going off by the way? Yes, it's Bingen, it's Facebook. Can someone turn their phone on? Silence if you haven't. Might be me, sorry. It's New Age technology. Fuck off James Chapman. Sorry James, I love you, but you've just messaged. No, fuck off Darren. Get your phone off silent. James will love the shout out in the podcast anyway, so don't worry. That's not going to be in the podcast. It should be.
00:14:50
Speaker
Call it's muted now, or at least it should be. I'm going to mute the Wednesday crew just in case. Just mute your phone. Just mute your phone. Because it's as fun as it is editing out on your phone. It's editing out ping every now and then. It is fun, but... There you go. I really wish I could know exactly how you did that. I think that was a long way. Where were we?
00:15:19
Speaker
Yeah, I agree, I think, unless anyone has any different... What is going on? Did you just message Darren to show that his phone's not on silent? That's brilliant. You said, can you mute this, please? Fantastic.
00:15:42
Speaker
Well done Darren. Well done Darren. Well the tip of the cap to you man. Well done Darren. That was mint. That was mint. I wish we could have got that filmed as well. Darren's face was like... I thought I knew it. There you are, it's muted now. Do what you want, it's muted now. I do what you want, you fuckers. That was brilliant. He can go down and start throwing stuff at the window.
00:16:08
Speaker
Yes, Helena, I agree. I think we should, unless anyone has any different preferences, take them on one-on-one. But I'm just making sure that we're all in agreement that we're going to lure Galgoth here. Yes. Oh, sure. I suppose so. Yeah, let's do it. Everyone ready to fight a fully-grown dragon. Give me one second. I'm just going to cast Mage on myself quickly just for...
00:16:32
Speaker
notice that's a great scene that's a brilliant i can imagine that just one second and you tap yourself all of a sudden i'm coated in like some weird glowy shit weird glowy shit nice like ghostbusters yeah i'm covered in ectoplasm oh baby i think now's as good a time as any to fight a fully grown dragon okay um we might not get another chance
00:17:01
Speaker
All right, Helena, this was your idea about taking them on one-on-one, lead, take charge, who should go for what? Okay, fastest, I would have said, goes for the furthest away. With my clunky armour, I don't say that speed is my forte. I can get the quickly and quietly it needs to be. Robin takes one that's one of the furthest away.
00:17:30
Speaker
uh what do we think here this one the one that's uh let's say 200 feet yeah 200 feet south
00:17:42
Speaker
So just for the listeners at home, what they are doing is they are kind of top right corner of our map at the moment. And in the center of the map, there is almost like a thumb like shape of cliff edge. And within that thumb like shape of cliff are two of the nests and then more of the kind of rest of the hand. It was like a thumbs up on its side. And then the fist part of the thumbs up on its side are one, two, three, four, five more.
00:18:10
Speaker
nests with two on the thumb and then where the middle finger would be if you're sticking up as well nearest to the party where they could get up onto this kind of elevated area is another nest as well. So there's a number of nests dotted around the kite spread out over the entire map.
00:18:26
Speaker
and they're all kind of situated in this kind of specifically important area that the party needs to clear. There is one on their level and then the rest are all kind of lifted slightly by about 30 feet in the air on a slow incline up to the cliff tops. Folly are you are you all right to take the one to the west? Folly are you all right with this full stop? You'll never strike. What do you think Folly?
00:18:56
Speaker
What do you actually think, though, Folly? I've never, I've never took on a dragon solo that's not actually wanted to die. This is a mini dragon, baby dragon, wee dragon, tiny dragon, little dragon, not full dragon. Yes, but like you, I guess to you it's a big dragon, so I'm sorry. You beat me up, but there we are. I was just thinking for you.
00:19:25
Speaker
folly for you not running up and down cliff edges there's that mound to the to the west i thought perhaps we could take that one if i bet there's still more dragons than what there are of us so we wouldn't be able to take them all on at one fell time anyway we are there's only three three more extra and by the time we've got through the first six then they're just going to be a breeze
00:19:52
Speaker
But I do believe I would be better served if somebody else can, shall we say, take the brunt. I don't mind. I'm more than happy just appearing with somebody rather than trying to take on a whole dragon myself. Well, it's not going to work if we don't all go solo. Well, then maybe here's my thought now that I talk it through with you all.
00:20:16
Speaker
We need to stop them making noises until it suits us. So we need to kill them as quickly as possible. I think a prolonged attack where myself and Folly can keep an eye on what's happening elsewhere. Drago and Helena can assault the first one we come across as quickly as possible. Claude can support in the ways that he can. And we look to kill them as quickly as we can. And it looks like.
00:20:43
Speaker
Are we familiar with how many there are? Can we see all this? Yes, you can see. Yeah, I'm considering you've kind of managed to kind of scout ahead with Neura and with Cast Dance Perception. And you've kind of managed to scout the area out before you've approached it. I could take out their middle four and one, Bish-Bash. That's what I like to hear. Thank you, Claude.
00:21:06
Speaker
Good plan. A bit of divine providence and you know. I can take out the two on the thumb area. So then I'll go for the one on the west and I'll make my way down to the one to the south. And follow you pick up the slack in case one of us fucks up. And Robin too. Robin, you just stand there looking like you're running a joint.
00:21:27
Speaker
Well, I'd appreciate it if Robin... He'd be able to make short work of a lot of these. A nice guy, not clean eye. I can also try and assist Helena and Drago in expediating their kills. Yes. Yes. Yes. And class down, you just... I don't know. I'll be there. I've got a couple of things up my sleeve. And he drops his bagpipes. I'll get them in a sec. I'll leave them there. No more bagpipes.
00:21:57
Speaker
Okay. We're going to go for it. Okay. Let's do this bouncing on the balls of his feet, getting ready to run. Yeah. Helena too.
Turning the Tide in Dragon Combat
00:22:05
Speaker
I guess it's over to you then Claude. Um, I'm not very stealthy. I've got to get a bit closer. Okay. Well, just get in there, Claude. I'm with Helena. I think we tried stealth last time. It didn't work. I'm going to try and just,
00:22:25
Speaker
Get to this point, which is just walking into the very edge of where the nests begin, Mark, but moving very, very cautiously. In fact, before we have to roll initiative, I'm going to follow Claude as well and get as close to where he is. Robin's going to draw his bow and nod to Helena and Drago just to say you should follow him. It's saving a round of everyone just walking. Thank you very much. He's always boring as shit, that.
00:22:54
Speaker
Okay, assuming folly can actually get into a good position He's just gonna have the dragon's teeth on the floor kind of set him ready. That's assuming you get to a good position. I'm just saying
00:23:06
Speaker
Okay, okay, Carson's gonna follow along behind you all as well, but a few steps just behind the main group of the party. As you approach that kind of pit and you start to come up the edge, you notice the air start to shift quite violently and it starts to burn in your throat. This air is noxious, this air is not poisonous, but it does not feel nice.
00:23:31
Speaker
It seems to pull every time you breathe in. It sits heavy on your chest like bonfire smoke. And if you breathe out, it feels like a little bit of you leaves with it. Can everyone take, and this is going to be something that happens every round, three points of necrotic damage. The air is necrotic. The air is filth. The air will hurt you. Per turn, you take 1D6 of necrotic damage in this space as the nests remain.
00:24:00
Speaker
so three to start with and then one d6 no no no no just i rolled the d6 and yeah sorry yes yes you are correct so i didn't let you finish i was busy mansplain in case here i do apologize yes three damage from the one d6 and now each each round at the top of the round i'll just i'll just give you the the damage for all of you to take that same uh what i will say is should we jump into initiative order here let's roll initiative let's do initiative
00:24:27
Speaker
I need to roll anything, why am I rolling? Anyway, oh, for cast down, there you go. All right then, did anyone get 20 plus? You. Ooh, what did you get Ian? 20. 20, 20 exactly. Yep.
00:24:45
Speaker
Danny's helping Casey, but I can see him roll 20. He got 21. Yeah, but when it comes round to announcing that, maybe he'll announce that. I got 21. Way! Callum, what did you get? I got 20 as well.
00:24:59
Speaker
Okie dokie, and Darren, Ian Drago, sorry, he's got the higher Dex modifier, so it's gonna go Claude, Drago, Folly, and then Castan rolled a 19, so Castan, wanna roll a 19, got a 19, 10 plus, I think he's like a plus nine, I know Will will probably correct me, apologies Will, but I've given you a plus nine, because he can't be asked to find your character sheet, so I'm gonna make your character up. Casey, what did you roll? 18. And Darren?
00:25:29
Speaker
Six. Nice. This is all wrong. I normally don't do it this way. What am I doing? Natural one, but away from me. Wow. That's a natural one. That's five away from a natural one if you take away the five. If you take away my dexterity modifier, yeah. Yeah. Who am I writing? I'm writing Helena. Quit. And then I'm writing Darren. What is wrong with me, Robin?
00:25:57
Speaker
Lovely. Okay. We're on the edge of this. The air is thick. You can feel it pulling away as you breathe in and out in this area. Very much get the urge to get in and out of this place as quick as possible and get the fresh air out as fresh as you can get in this noxious and disease-ridden place. So Claude, top of the round. Can't believe I'm saying that. What would you like to do? So Claude is going to
00:26:25
Speaker
just breathe in this noxious view and pray for holier weather. And I'm going to shoot a small ball of light towards the clouds and cause a cloud break. And this cylinder of sunlight comes beaming down in a 30 foot radius, 40 foot high. So everything flying is also going to get caught in this.
00:26:53
Speaker
and then basically just going to put like a big old sun beam it's called the dawn spell and beam of energy coming out of the sun is just going to burn all of these mounds. What is the status of the things in the mounds? Are they asleep? Are they stunned? Are they petrified? Because it's important because some of them will automatically fail the saving throw they need to make. They are
00:27:21
Speaker
also buried within these mounds. So how far does this penetrate? How far does this penetrate? Well, I can move it each round, but it's going like right down into the earth. So like, does it as in, does it penetrate through an opaque object because there is dirt between the sunlight, the dawn spell and the creature isn't sitting on the top. It's underneath the soil. Hmm.
00:27:50
Speaker
I'm just wondering if it does damage to it this round or when they awaken, maybe then it causes the damage. Sorry, help me. Yeah, yeah. What I'm going to do then is I'm going to hold the action mark until they breach. So this will happen the moment that stuff starts to breach through. Cool. Okay. So you're holding the spell. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you very much, Claudio. Drago. Claude looks primed, ready to go, concentrating on something. What do you want to do?
00:28:17
Speaker
OK, so Drago is going to look up to the sky as he sees the clouds part and just has a moment of wonder and reminds himself again how fucking good Claude is at this shit. And then he's going to shake his head, get his mind back on the task, and he's going to take his full movement to run 40 feet towards the one to the right of the cylindrical beam of light.
00:28:45
Speaker
Actually, from Jago's point of view, it will be from the left, from the map point of view. For me, it's on his right. But if I'm talking from Jago's perspective, as he's running and he sees this cylindrical light in front of him shoot up, he's going to veer to the left, to the one that's outside the mound, that's outside the cylindrical light. I'm just going to see now how close I can get to it. Oh, I can stand...
00:29:14
Speaker
Right over actually. Nice. 35. So this is one of the ones on the thumb of my bad, my bad analogy of how this map looks. On the thumb. On the thumb. Away from the palm where Claude's got his spell. So Drago is going to take Dengon's deception and
00:29:32
Speaker
kind of look behind him for one moment at the group and he's going to just slice down in one, he's going to take Dengon's deception, he's going to turn it about face so that the blade is pointing straight down to the earth. Both hands on the hilt of the pommel and he's going to just push straight down in the center of the mound. Okay, roll to hit. God, it'd be embarrassing if I miss. 22. Yeah, that hits. Roll your damage.
00:30:01
Speaker
That's 11 points of flashing damage. Yeah, you hear this. You hear this. Underneath is this kind of chattering of bones scraping against something as your dengons' reception slices down into it. And then you kind of feel and see like a wing kind of burst out of side of the soil. I know it's not this tone, but just for a bit of flavor. You've pissed off. You've hit it. You've done some damage to it. I know instinctually from that sound that it's not dead. Yes, you know it's not dead. Yeah, it's still kind of moving and chuttering.
00:30:30
Speaker
Okay, so the dengon deception comes straight back up, and then straight back down again. Okay, roll to hit. 17. That hits. 14 points of slashing damage. Oh, nice. Okay, yeah, again, this damage, the hit comes in and you stab down again, you hear it still making noise, and it's still kind of moving and lurching under the power and weight of dengon's deception, but it is still alive.
00:30:55
Speaker
Anything else you want to do? Yeah, Drago's just going to shout. Shouting's an action, isn't it? I'm not going to shout back. That's it. That's the end of my go. Okie dokie, thank you very much. Just a slight concern look on Drago's face as he's hit two really good solid hits on a dormant opponent and they're still alive. There's slight worry just creeping into his mind from that.
00:31:17
Speaker
OK, thank you very much, Drago, for that. Folly, your turn. You've just seen Drago run up. You've seen the clouds start to part as Claude's preparing something to happen. It's kind of all prepped, ready to rock and roll. What would you like to do? The dragon's teeth that are currently around me, I'm just going to cast a lovely bit of animate objects on them so they will come alive and surround me.
00:31:44
Speaker
Spinning away nice Follow is gonna move his full kind of 25 feet Towards the mound basically puts him level. Well, actually no just puts him a little bit behind Sorry it basically puts him a little bit behind Helena Level be cast down He's going to
00:32:17
Speaker
wait at the moment. He's going to send his dragon's teeth just into the mound as his bonus action, and he's just going to have them hovering there for now. Okay, so you're primed and ready to rock and roll. Do you want to hold an action with something? Yes. No, I can't because my action actually has been to cast animate objects. I wouldn't be able to hold another action. So bonus action, I can basically just move them into there.
00:32:45
Speaker
lovely, thank you very much. Karstan is going to be further looking through his book over Helena's shoulder and then interest is going to creep in over him and he's going to move just to the north, so he's in line with Helena and then move one more space closer as he starts to kind of look interestedly at the man looking as he gets coughing through the fumes that sit in front of him, kind of just peering into it, getting a little bit closer and a little bit closer. He's got his hand on his rapier but he's not doing anything just yet, he's just kind of peering
00:33:14
Speaker
at it. Okay, that's what they fall. Helena, you've seen Kastan move to your right. You hear folly to your left behind you, but Kastan's coming to sight in front of you to your right, looking at the mound. What would you want to do?
00:33:32
Speaker
Helena's going to run up very purposefully to the one on the west. And yeah, with all of the back and forwards, you know, to and froing with the ideas, she was just getting very impatient and frustrated. So she's just going to take her chance now and go for it. So she's run purposefully to the mound on the west. And as soon as she stops, she's going to slam down her flail into the mound.
00:34:02
Speaker
Okay, could you roll to hit please? Yeah. That's a 24 to hit. That hits. That's 15 points of damage. Lovely, very nice. As this mace comes smashing in, you hear a crunch of bone underneath Anna, a squeal from this creature within.
Preventing Dragons' Reinforcements
00:34:27
Speaker
Could you make a dexterity saving throw please, Helena? 16.
00:34:32
Speaker
Lovely, thank you very much. As you smash down almost instantaneously after that, it's like the cry of one of the other dragons, maybe you prepared it for it. It bursts out of this mound, wings kind of opening at full mast. The body of this creature is quite small, the skeletal dragon. Yet the wings stretch out quite far and one of the wings catches you, batting you across the head, knocking you back five feet. You're still on your feet, but you've been knocked back five feet and you take out four points of bludgeoning damage.
00:35:02
Speaker
Okay. As this creature opens up. Yeah. She gets knocked back. She's going to, she's just going to say, Oh fuck off. Um, and obviously getting back on it. Well, I say getting back on her feet. If she's already on her feet, she shakes down her head and she looks very angry, ready to go again. Cool. Um, so can she take another attack? She can indeed. She can step forward and make another attack. Absolutely. 28 to hit that hits 12 points of damage.
00:35:32
Speaker
Love this mace comes hitting and now this creature is kind of up on its haunches, still sat, still kind of primed on the floor. As you catch one of its wings hard with your mace, splinters of bones start flying off away from you towards the tree line behind you. Nice. She's going to go again. Alright, roll the hit. 16 to hit. That hits. Ooh.
00:35:57
Speaker
And that'll be 15 points of damage. The creature shatters on the ground in a pile of bones. The first one has been killed and it falls on the pile. You also notice almost instantaneously the gas that was rising out of this area dissipates. It's still being affected by the whole area, but the air starts to clear up a little bit there. Anything else you'd like to do, Helena? No, she'll just say, I'm ready for another.
00:36:25
Speaker
Woof. Nice. Robin, your turn. What would you like to do? You've just seen Helen decimate one of these drag-ons. Robin's going to begin by saying that's what she said, and then he's going to start to draw his bow. He's heard the cacophony of noise from up near Drago, and he's going to start running towards the hill for 5, 10, 15, 20, 20.
00:36:55
Speaker
He gets to sound off Robin. I'm going to use my bonus action to dash so I can move up onto the mound and now see the dragon engaged with Drago. And I'm going to quickly draw an arrow and loosen it at the dragon. Okay. Roll to hit. I will.
00:37:20
Speaker
29 to hit that hits brand let's put some sneak attack on because it's engaged with drago i don't really i know it's a dragon but i ain't on one knee that's awful that was awful i didn't hear the joke it wasn't a joke it was barely passable for us
00:37:43
Speaker
21 points of magical fearsome damage. Nice, good bit of damage there, but I think Claude's insult was a critical hit there. Now as this arrow comes thudding in as the scooter tries to pull itself out of the dirt, you catch it at the side of the head. As its head appears, you catch it inside of the head with this arrow. It's still moving. Make a strength saving throw, please. Probably going for a good release. 12.
00:38:12
Speaker
That fails. It takes seven points of force damage, moves ten feet away from Drago, triggering an attack of opportunity. It keeps us on the edge of the cliff. It is still alive. It's been pushed out of the pile of dirt. Yes, and Drago, you get an attack of opportunity because that's why we've homebrewed these rules, which we will change in the next arc. We're going to milk it before we can. Oh, yeah. Flash and a glint of glee in his eyes as he knows exactly what has happened when he heard the whistle of Robin's arrow
00:38:42
Speaker
He hits for an 18. Oh, gorgeous. That hits almost at the same time as the arrow hits, knowing that Robin's going to push him backwards. Deng on to deception was mid strike going straight down for an 18 points of slashing damage. The creature falls into a pile of ash and bone on the floor to down. Anything else you'd like to do, Robin?
00:39:04
Speaker
Yep, I'm going to finish the rest of my movement with the dash to run up to Drago and like an army of two style, just stand with my back to him and just now survey the battlefield around with that one dead. I can't use my second attack on anything else because that one's dead. So I am done, but I've still with my back to Drago just primed for whatever comes next.
00:39:28
Speaker
Nice. You got a 360 camera movement. Yeah. This is cinematic as fuck. Nice stuff, guys. That is the end of the round. Well, the bottom of the round, it's the dragon's turn. We're all going to take five points of necrotic damage.
00:39:43
Speaker
So knock those off from the noxious fumes of the gas and what you notice is that all the remaining nests start to come alive. You have disturbed the earth and in doing so have awakened each of these creatures. Just place them all on our map.
00:40:01
Speaker
and then Claude you can obviously kill them all off with your magical spell which has been held for around and covering the four in the very center. So your spell is now oofcast as these creatures shuffle out the dirt and they are now clear in view of your spell. So how much do you kill them by? Yeah, could you please make con saving throws for those four?
00:40:23
Speaker
Okay, I'll go around in a circle. So 17 for the first one, 19 for the next one. It's 21 for the next one. I'm rolling very well. The one in the very center, 10. Okay. So the two that passed, the second and third roll, they take half of the damage I'm about to announce. It's radiant, so it might be doubled. Okay. Uh,
00:40:52
Speaker
Fuck him up, Claude. You fuck him up. Get a power of Akiva. Firing straight from your ass. You got this. Heaven's ass. He's fucking got this. 22 points of radiant damage. Is that the full damage? Full damage. So if it's... 11, unless it's doubled. Sorry, just adjusting their scores.
00:41:21
Speaker
Okay, thank you very much. As they breach out the surface of these disgusting mounds, their bones start to blacken and sizzle slightly under it, and you hear them always writhing in pain, this high-pitched squealing as they try to deal with the radiance that is pummeling down upon them. It is also their turn to move. Now, Claude, I'm right, Vicki, this is a continual spell you've got here, and you can move it, can't you?
00:41:46
Speaker
Yes, I can. I'm going to keep it stationary. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool. If they end their turn in it, they take more damage again. Cool. Okay. The dragons all almost simultaneously flap their wings and become airborne. The creature to the
00:42:07
Speaker
east, the one that's furthest out on the thumb where the nail of the thumb takes off and flies in an arching circle right and round towards our spellcasters, Kastan and Folly. He's looking directly at Kastan at this point and it releases from its mouth this almost breath-like weapon out towards Kastan. A thin stream of kind of ash-like mist starts to hit.
00:42:34
Speaker
sorry this thin mist starts to move out towards both folly and cast and folly please may you make a wisdom saving throw come on folly dig deep 12 that's not digging deep oh dig deeper that was the kind of a fear breath and you are frightened
00:42:58
Speaker
You project a fantastical image of your creature's worst fears. So what you see are all the faces of those poor orphan children.
00:43:08
Speaker
Oh shit. Haunting you, standing behind you, looking at you, just staring silently at you and it terrifies you. It quakes you down to your very soul. And basically now, you're frightened for the duration of the spell. Whilst frightened, the creature must take the dash action and move away from you by the safest available route on each of its turns, unless there's nowhere to move.
00:43:32
Speaker
If the creature enters a turn on location where you don't have line of sight, so from this flying dragon, you can take a wisdom saving throw on a successful save, you end the spell. Kastan also fails it, but he failed it miserably and he has just become literally, it's like hold person slash paralysis. He is just there staring up at this thing and just there is nothing in its face. He's not moving at all. He is pretty much frozen to the spot. You didn't fail quite as horrifically as
00:44:02
Speaker
clawed and so you have to use your turn and dash to get the fuck away from it. Your dragon's teeth also just collapsed to the floor around the ash of the other dragon as well. So that has happened. Can I say that was beautiful? Yeah, that was stunning. But I really wanted him to see Chris. Why will you not kiss me? That would be beautiful. That would have been brilliant.
00:44:32
Speaker
So the four creatures that are currently engulfed within Claude's spell of holiness is gushing holy light as it falls. It cascades down upon their faces. They're going to get to dodge. They're going to use their flappy flaps to get the F out of there. The ones of the north is going to flap down and kind of perch himself up on the trees to the west, nearest to Helena. The one in the very center is going to fly out just to get out towards where
00:45:01
Speaker
Drago and Robin are, but they is about 30 feet above you. I say he, they are about 30 feet above you. The one to the south, southeast is going to move out over the cliffs, still flying out of the cliffs and nearest to the river. The one to the west, southwest is going to fly out, but directly towards Helena. The two to the south are going to stay stationary, but flap up, up, up, up, up into the air.
00:45:28
Speaker
and both of them are going to take a big inhalation of breath, and that is going to be their turn. That's what they're going to do on their turn. If you do not manage to get any damage on them this turn, they are going to call out for Galgrove on their next turn. Which two was that? The two on the foul. The back two. The back two. The two that are still hanging over their mouths. They've just gone up about 30 feet in the air, taking this big breath in, and they are kind of priming to call for aid.
00:45:57
Speaker
Gondor calls for aid. The creature that's flying over Robin and Drago, it's going to use a poison breath cone on you both. Could you both make a constitution saving throw, please? Oh, I'm good at these. As a belch as gas down on your face. 21. OK. 17. Let me just check. I'm not sure if it's a yes or no fail save. So you still take the damage. You both pass.
00:46:25
Speaker
Barbarians and fighters, man. We've got comm saves for days.
00:46:29
Speaker
Don't tell him that. You take eight points of poison damage. Acid damage, whatever you call it. Yes, I know that. I know that. Obviously, Darren, I played with you for two years now. But these creatures don't. So they attack. They just attack. They do not have the wherewithal to differentiate between them yet. They have weapons and they use them. Thank you very much. The creature that's flying over towards Helena is going to kind of
00:47:00
Speaker
Yes, it's going to kind of scream down this kind of really thin direct piercing scream into her face. And she's basically, they're basically trying to use a form of hold person. So could Helena please make a wisdom saving throw? My wisdom save is 18.
00:47:21
Speaker
fuck your past god damn it okay you pass this creature tries to cast a kind of advanced dragon version of hold person on you and it fails you feel your limbs start to stiffen slightly not in a fun way and then you free them again as you break eye contact with this with this dragon fool as he encroaches down on your decree the others have just moved out of the kind of light and are away but
00:47:45
Speaker
Two of these creatures are now taking a big inhalation of breath. If damage isn't done, they will call for Galgroth and the fight starts to go in their favour. That is the end of the dragon's turn. Claude, I think I know what you're going to do, but it's your turn. Top of the round. I would like to move my ring of lovely light. The ring of fire. The ring of fire.
00:48:10
Speaker
It's just going to, yeah, just the light beam just sort of temporarily shoots up into the sky and then like a satellite re-shoots itself back where these guys are chilling. So is it that if they end their turn in it or is it, does that now? They end their turn in it. So if they're still there at the end of their next turn? Yeah. Cool, gotcha. So if they're still... At the end of their turn? Yeah, whenever they have... At the end of their next turn, because that's important,
00:48:40
Speaker
Do they take damage before they turn? No, it's at the end of their turn. End of their turn. Okay. Good to know. But it forces a move. I think the idea is it forces them to move, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't get a turn, by the way, Mark. Oh my god, I'm sorry. That's why this is a bit confusing. No, sorry, you did. You did because you had a hell of a- I went first. I went after Drago, held the action until they appeared. They appeared.
00:49:07
Speaker
Yeah, I think they were after me. That was your action. Yeah, they were the bottom of the initiative. They were. They rolled a four. So this is the top. This is back at the top. This is your, this is your turn. I think I've been twice because I held, I had a opportunity. Yes. So yeah, you've got the action that you held that came in later on. The dragons rolled a four for their initiatives. They're right at the bottom after Robin gave you the damage and now you've moved. Yeah.
Cliffhanger Ending with Uncertain Outcome
00:49:32
Speaker
Right. So as a bonus, I've moved the light. Correct.
00:49:36
Speaker
I don't know where Claude's Gods are in this yellow box. The westernmost one, I will cast Sacred Flame. Could you please make a Dex save, Mark? That's a 9th, oh no, I would have to modify, 22. It passes, nothing happens. You are very well. That's a good game. That's some nice rolls. That is the end of my set. Lovely, thank you very much, Claude.
00:50:04
Speaker
Thank you, Claude, for that. Drago, your turn. You've just been belched, poisoned gas on in your face. Okay. With a look towards Robin and a nod, Drago is going to sheath dengue on his back as he's making a run. Five, ten. I don't know if, so I'm running basically towards the dragon that's been engulfed in the holier-than-thou light and he's running towards the closest one.
00:50:33
Speaker
OK, cool. And as he arrives at his destination, he looks up at this dragon flying above him. He takes out the axe of Shader. He moos like a cow. I want to rage. I want to rage. I'm going to rage. Rage against the dying of the light.
00:51:03
Speaker
He's gonna rage, and then he's gonna hoof the axe of Shader right at him, and as Lightning enters the axe, as it releases to Handy, as it launches up towards him. Nice, what's the range on the axe? 30 without having to take disadvantage. 90 on disadvantage. Cool, so you might, because it's 30 feet up, you're 15 feet away, I think it's gonna be slightly out of your regular range. I assumed it would be disadvantage. Cool, okay, just checking, yeah, yeah.
00:51:32
Speaker
No, no, I'm glad you clarified. It will be a very loose Pythagoras theorem. It's a Marx theorem of distance. So we'll just kind of play it by ear a little bit because I'm not good at maths. Yes, would you roll? 12. 12. 12 misses, unfortunately.
00:51:52
Speaker
He's got no damage on him. Shit. Anything else he wants to? The axe goes past and then it returns straight back and you see Drago catch it and his hand go back at the impact. He's going to push it back forwards with a more of a stern grunt this time. Roll two hit. Come on. 22. There you go. Right. You caused, you hit it. Yes, absolutely. So the air's knocked out of it anyway. It cannot call for goal graph this turn. How much damage do you do?
00:52:19
Speaker
We've got 12 points of slashing damage and 10 points of lightning damage. Oh, shit. Full damage for that. Nice. And you see this electric current kind of pierce through it. Almost like one of the... I don't know what I was going with that. But yeah, it does a buttload of damage. It's not happy about it. It's breath is lit. I've dropped out of it. It can't call for Galgrove anymore. Yeah, good job. Nice. Anything else you want to do, Drogo?
00:52:45
Speaker
No axe returns back to Shader's hand and because of the full amount of lightning, it's still crackling as it's in his hand. Nice. Pulsing with the lightning. Oh, pulsing. Very nice. Very sexual. Folly, over to you. You are fearful and frightened. You've got action and dash to see if you can get out of the line of sight safe as you can away from this creature. If you can, you do get a wisdom saving throw to drop out of the fear if you can hide from it. If I can hide from it.
00:53:16
Speaker
Yes, so you have to make a safe exit as far away from it as you can. If you end up out of line of sight of the creature, then you are entitled a wisdom saving throw to see if you can break the spell.
00:53:29
Speaker
Okay, okay. How high are these mounds? The mounds are about 15 feet high. That one, the one closest to you that's been broken out of is a little lower, 10 feet high, given because the creature has come out of it and kind of burst it. But it is still enough cover, if you had the range to get behind it, that you would be entitled to a wisdom saving throw.
00:53:51
Speaker
I certainly do have the range. So, Folly is going to get kind of all sweaty and clammy. He starts hearing these childlike voices coming from nowhere, just surrounding him. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. All seems to be blaming him, accusing him, asking him why. He starts to hear people, not just from the orphanage as well, but from a lot of people in the past who he has intentionally wronged. It's getting wild.
00:54:22
Speaker
he hears the voices of his family yes his brother and sisters and he basically tries to sprint and blitz it all the way over and almost as if he's trying to go into a cowering position he's just going to go round to this mound and then just kind of
00:54:42
Speaker
crouch down, hands over his ears, trying to shake it off a little bit, but obviously still being affected by it. It burns so bad. Very nice, Callum. Thank you. And that was the sound effects in were annoying and brilliant all at the same time. I loved them. You have managed it. Luckily, the mound was the right direction to get away from the creature and also give you some kind of cover. You now have the opportunity to make a wisdom saving throw. See if you can break it.
00:55:12
Speaker
Be wise, Folly. Be wise. While he's making that, you know what I learnt the other day? Thunder damage and lightning damage are two different things. Yes, they are. Absolutely. I rolled a 15. It's still intact! I was so close, Callum. You are still fearful. So if the creature...
00:55:36
Speaker
If it stays there, for example, you still have to use your action and dash to run away from it further. But again, if you end up in cover, you get no wisdom saving throw. If it changes direction, however, you still have to do it maybe in a different direction. I don't know. It depends on where the creature goes, really. Yeah, yeah. That's fine. Sorry, buddy. Karstan is absolutely solidified and does not move. So I've knocked out two of you so far. Woof. This is great. Helena, over to you. These creatures are airborne, soz.
00:56:02
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to switch to my bow, so bonus action, switch my bow. You might say a bow-ness action. Bow-ness action, yeah. Also, Callum Mute, I can hear you typing or doing something. I'm masturbating. Boner! I am muted on the recording, just saying. Okay, I can hear someone.
00:56:25
Speaker
Okay, anyway, so bonus action, switch to the bow and I'm going to shoot that one above the mound that I just went for. Lovely, the one that tried to cast hold person money.
00:56:40
Speaker
yes awesome roll to hit thanks oh thank god for that at 22 it actually rolled really slowly past a one and i was like no but it was 22 yay hits thank you uh oh no shit that one is a nine point of damage piercing ow it says as it comes smashing into its body as it comes
00:57:08
Speaker
it doesn't look in a good way it starts to kind of flap a bit awkwardly as it's wing one wing stop one wing stops working okay my second hit is 18 please that also hits and fucking hell four points of damage it's still mother flapping up there but it's not having a mother flapping good time and my third
00:57:32
Speaker
is a beautiful natural 20. That is a, that is a critical hit. That's zero of a crit. That is zero of a crit. And it's got three HP mate. I think you're going to absolutely decimate it. 15 points of damage.
00:57:51
Speaker
the last arrow comes smashing in and just falls like ash on the ground below you as bones and skulls thud to the ground around you and folly just to your left as you sit there cowering and shaking you just see this dragon skull thud down into the ground next to you as well. Probably doesn't help things actually. That was awesome Helena you've just got movement anything else you want to do with that or are you happy just standing there and flexing really hard?
00:58:16
Speaker
Yeah, she was gonna do that, but she's not gonna anymore. No, she's going to aim the bow actually at... I don't know if I can prep an action. No, you need to have it in the bank to... You do have your action, Sarah. Do you really wish to keep going? She was just gonna hold the bow over the other dragon that's hovering above
00:58:44
Speaker
no not that one that one yeah so um uh to the east to the east back where we were sort of coming from the one that cast fear the one that cast fear on on the on the party yeah cool gotcha yeah so that's the one she'll be going for so she you kind of turned and trained your eye upon that dragon kind of going you're next bitch yeah and who's the person next to me
00:59:06
Speaker
That is Folly cowering from the screams of orphan children. And you've also got Karsten who is frozen solid on the spot, staring up at the dragon, unable to move. She's just going to give them both a little wink to be like, yeah, I got this. Excellent. Very nice. Good. And that's it. I'm done. Awesome. Thanks, Casey. That's great. Robin, over to you, my man. Dragons, dragons everywhere. So let's all have a drag.
00:59:38
Speaker
Yeah, Robin is going to look at the one in front of him and think you can wait. He knows what Drago meant when he looked at him. And Robin is going to take the hide action with his bonus action just to get within the foliage of this tree.
00:59:56
Speaker
and is then going to peer out. Do you need me to roll stealth to see if the ones down the far end noticed me? Yeah, I was going to let you finish the thing, but you can roll now if you want. I didn't want to interrupt you. Well, plus a lot. 22. Yep. Thank you. Okay, assuming that the one down the far end hasn't noticed him, the most far west one that's not been hit, that was readying a breath, he's going to unleash a shot at it. Okay, roll to hit.
01:00:26
Speaker
Am I hidden? Do I have to tell you yet? Because I get advantage if I am. Oh, right. Yes, you are. Sorry. I'd rolled and I wasn't sure if I told you straight away. Yes. Yes, you are. I think that's correct. If you're hidden, you get advantage. Don't you? I might need to. I need will. You do. You do if you're hidden because it's counting as a surprise. 30. Yeah, that hits. Yeah, that hits. Which we know is one of a crit. Yep, that hits.
01:00:57
Speaker
Okay, he takes 22 points of magical piercing damage. Nice, good bit of damages. Arrow comes thudding into its chest, breaking away some of its ribs. He goes, no dragon, no cry. And then he's going to see that one struggle back and take the inhalation of breath. Robin is just going to do,
01:01:28
Speaker
He's not particularly aware of the one behind him, so that one's out. I think what he's going to do is shoot it again, actually. He's going to stick to his mantra of take them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a 20 knot natural to hit. That hits, that hits.
01:01:46
Speaker
Don't get those d6s this time. Eight points of magical piercing damage. Nice. Take another good bit of damage out of it and its wing starts to feel a little wonky. It's still in the air, still flapping, but it's not looking healthy. Well, it's dead, but you know what I mean. Still up.
01:02:05
Speaker
I think same logic as what we've just said. He wouldn't use his action surge here. He knows the big one is coming. So that's the end of my turn. Okay, thank you very much. It's the dragon's turn. Could we all please take four points of necrotic damage as the air continues to poison your very being and remove your soul. The dragons are all going to
01:02:30
Speaker
move, well not all of them are going to move, a few of them are going to move. The two that are in Claude's Cone of Death are going to move out, the one that's to the east, the one that's to the west.
01:02:40
Speaker
to the north to get out of the way and split the cone slightly. The one to the very north that sat on the tree is going to swoop down onto another tree still perched, just watching at the moment. The dragon that is currently the cast fear is going to kind of do a fly by screech and end up nearby to Helena and Folly but flying in the air.
01:03:03
Speaker
Each of them kind of continues their trajectory, so one flies off around the thumb to the north, another one heads out over to the river. All of them, though, get to a point and they all stop almost at the same time, all flapping except the one that sat on the tree, and all six of them. Taking a big inhalation of breath simultaneously.
01:03:27
Speaker
And as each of you look around and it dawns on you now what you face if you wish to control the battle, control the timing of Golgoth's return to you and to control the attack of a dragon, adult undead dragon. Your next round is, could be fatal. But to find out how we get on, you're gonna have to join us next week for our episode of the Fellowship of the Tabletop, Fighting Undead Dragons yet again.
01:04:15
Speaker
If you wanted to keep in touch with the podcast, please do so. I've already mentioned the main one. You can follow us individually if you want, but it feels reminisce not to mention how fucking awesome that battle was. I really liked it. Especially what happened to Folly. That, yeah, kills me. The pain that you're feeling is great.
01:04:22
Speaker
In Episode 101, Part 2, Fighting Undead Dragons.
01:04:33
Speaker
Mark, fuck you, everyone, GG, Helena, fucking, fucking hell. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, like shit, man. Like, if Drago still had his complex, which he still does, he's like, fuck, I'm not scratching those numbers up as quickly. Helena the dragon slayer. Yeah, boy. Jesus, let's not have that monitored, please. I don't want that. That's a good nickname. That is good. The undead slayer, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, we'll think about it.
01:04:58
Speaker
But yeah, well played, everyone. Good shit, guys. Everyone was on their A-game. This is a good battle. I like it. It's a really good battle. Thank you to RDM. But yes, if you wanted to follow RDM, nay, if you wanted to follow all of us, we have individual pages. You can find them on Twitter. I'm at iRoll1. Darren's at... Darren Peijo6. Danny's at... Total Party Thrills. Casey's at... Unicorn Quit. CeeLoGreen is at...
01:05:28
Speaker
the d20 gamer and our heck of a dm is at hastily rolled dm and till next time guys
01:05:48
Speaker
Me and your smooth radio voice has very much a Jeffrey Wright feel to it. I feel like you're the watcher. Just always watching, never to interfere. And as they say, they lived happily over... Wait, what?