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Ep. 09 - Wildheart: Heads and Tails
19 Plays16 hours ago
Garrick and Falco become the best of friends. Falco has a sudden urge to praise Vatinis whilst Garrick prays. They stumble upon a cartographer who borders then plummets over the copyright wall of a Monty Python voice. Rok and Drift head to the Guilded Anchor to find out more about the infamous Surgedive and speak to Rae'lic Halfsworn - the barkeep with information regarding how to get involved. They descend to save the apprentice, kill some spiders and earn a meeting with Tash'lin.
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Transcript
Introduction to Wild Heart and Storm Spire Market
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Wild Heart, the Tide Surge Gambit, a world of shifting tides, high-stakes adventure and unfolding mystery. Want to explore more? Head to fellowshipofthetabletop.co.uk for maps, lore and our latest blog.
00:00:16
Speaker
And if you can't get enough, check out The Interregnums, our short fiction series dropping every other Tuesday. Or Bellum Draconis, our sister actual play podcast releasing every Friday.
00:00:27
Speaker
Now, let's dive in.
Falco's Market Conversations and Garak's Past
00:01:24
Speaker
It's mid-afternoon and we are just off. You can hear the creak of the rope ladder that attaches the two halves of the Storm Spire Market to each other. Down below you can hear the babbling, low babbling sound of the water flowing down through the ravine of what will become tidal surge at some point in the near future.
00:01:46
Speaker
The market itself has started to return to its usual busyness, as much as Stormspire Market is busy. There's a plethora of stalls here, and Falco, as you step down from your your speech, your deliverance, your heraldry, if you will, um of the wonder that is Garak after his successful smiting of many of the foes,
00:02:11
Speaker
The only person stood really near you, a Rock is stood near the bridge, Drift is off his shoulder, the small boy that's been following around since day one. ah Garrick and Rock had a conversation.
00:02:23
Speaker
ah the only person near you, Falcon, we'll start with you, is Benic, the Forgemaster, who had taken part in the combat with you and kind of warned you of and impending danger beforehand.
00:02:35
Speaker
And he just watches you come off from the, uh, from this small stage that's in the center of this market area and just looks at you and just smiles arms, thick arms, Popeye style forearms crossed across his body and just kind of nods like an appreciative smile and like, oh, that was pretty good towards you.
00:02:55
Speaker
So what exactly is your plan here?
00:03:01
Speaker
A plan? What are you talking about, plan? Just, what are you doing here? not you know Not in an accusatory way, but just, what are doing here?
00:03:13
Speaker
Well, I didn't actually intend to come here, but I'm here. i think I'm in the right place, because that guy, he's he's pretty fucking awesome, right? That guy in the shiny armor?
00:03:24
Speaker
Oh, with the with the weapon, yeah, he he did very well, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. like how would you if you would If you were to put him on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of combat ability, what do you think would be?
00:03:36
Speaker
Oh, he kind of scratches his head and looks ah towards Garrick, who still seems to be in some kind of awkward conversation with um with Rock at the moment, who towers higher above him.
00:03:49
Speaker
Well, um I mean, I'll spend some time for a while with the Tidesworn Vanguard. who He looks at you. Oh, the army of of Wild Heart, and you see. Works out the...
00:04:02
Speaker
the capital here. And, uh, yeah, good. Solid six, six, seven a good day. Six. I can work with a six. I can work with a six tight swan Vanguard. That's pretty cool though. Right. You, you must be ah a bit of a big deal in my day. I was in my day. I'm, I'm past that now. You see, I'm and just, I like my, my, my place here. I like staying here and just getting on with, with some quiet work, using my hands instead of using,
00:04:32
Speaker
you know, taking lives. I've done that. Well, it's been lovely meeting you. Enjoy using your hands in any way you see fit. And I'll make a beeline to to the tall man and the shiny man.
00:04:47
Speaker
Cool. And he just kind of gestures, um Bennett kind of gestures farewell, and then he moves back towards his stall and starts ah can kind of tidying up a little bit, helping with a few of the corpses and just um dealing, you know, speaking to some of the ah the locals around there. And as you walk over and towards the attitude towards Garrick and towards Rock, and just before you get there, Garrick and Rock, ah you got Drift just off your shoulder
Dreams and Plans of Rock and Drift
00:05:14
Speaker
as well. um What are you two conversing about? What are you talking about? Or is it just really awkward silence?
00:05:22
Speaker
And, I mean, i was just trying to get myself some food from over there, and they kind of approached. That that that was it. What happened on this side?
00:05:34
Speaker
We fought a long, hard battle, protected the citizens in a grueling fight. And now I must leave and find the goods that I meant to transport back to Cliffstone Keep.
00:05:53
Speaker
At this drift, who's just the the short, messy-haired boy standing off. Does he still have the yeah the eel? drop the ah He should still have it. It was his ebo yeah it' quiet yeah he was he was his last kind of command given to him.
00:06:07
Speaker
um But yeah, Rock will kind of ah quickly divvy up some of his other... I mean, he's got fuck tons of food still left over um from that that previous encounter, he's going to swap some of it over to um Drift in exchange for the eel and kind of take that back off him.
00:06:24
Speaker
And yeah, just be like, ah is it okay? like He's going to look over the eel. Does it look... Has it taken a beating? Yeah, mainly around the head and face area. It's a little mushed up. Some of the some of the teeth are a little bit ah chipped and dented and inside. One of the eyes is perforated.
00:06:40
Speaker
and It's got bit of rock stuck in there. It's just like peppered with like sandy rock ah that seems to cover this side of the ah side of the ravine. and where it where it kind of dipped its head butop against the ground. The rest of it is in you know good working order, something that would match the quality of what you've seen previously as well in terms of your your your eating habits.
00:07:01
Speaker
And you can see Drift oh kind of relaxes arms. He's been holding them up there only for a minute or so pretty much, but it was it's a weighty eel. And he looks towards you, Garrick. that was That was pretty cool what you just did, what what you did with them. Have you met have you met rock and but hunt withing were good with Rock Rock?
00:07:21
Speaker
He's going to be a knight like you. It's a valuable service being a knight. Did you say your name was Rock Rock? Yep. No.
00:07:33
Speaker
Oh. It's, it's, uh, What is your name? I'm trying to tell you. ah Rock, Rock, A-Harangui, Lickapacka. My apologies. Sometimes. Fetulia. I tend to just say fake talk and to keep going. I've been told not to interrupt before.
00:07:48
Speaker
What's your name?
00:07:50
Speaker
Rock. ah harangui lika peu lasaque forullia moy It is a pleasure to to meet you. And no, ah I'm not actually trying to be a knight. we We kind of talked about this drift a little bit before. it's oh yeah.
00:08:04
Speaker
Oh, sorry. Have I spoken in return? No, no, no. It's just, it it was never something that I intended to be. um And why not? I mean, well, it's just, I don't think it's my calling. What is your calling?
00:08:18
Speaker
Well, I guess. And Rock's going to kind of have a little look around at those around him as well and see if other people are listening. But kind of shrug and be relatively open about it and just say, I'm hoping one day to be a surge diver.
00:08:36
Speaker
know that drift is going to point up, up, up towards Rock's face and just ah open mouth. But then looking at Garrick like, am I right? How amazing is that? Am I right?
00:08:48
Speaker
That is indeed a valuable position. Almost as important as being a knight. Oh, great. are Are you a knight already? I mean, you look kind of like a knight.
00:09:02
Speaker
Gag will just kind of puff his chest out a little bit more, stuned try and stand a little bit taller. I'm a paladin, a Valtinus. I serve a cliffstone keep.
00:09:14
Speaker
Right, and this is your squire, and Rock's going to gesture over to Falco.
00:09:22
Speaker
Apologies, no, i I do not have a squire. Yes, yeah, and'm i'm I'm the squire, the squire.
00:09:30
Speaker
And is your name Squire? The Squire? No, no,
Garak and Falco's Misadventures
00:09:37
Speaker
um large blue gentleman, sir. My name is Falco Le Dure.
00:09:44
Speaker
but Drift is going to reach, Drift is going to push past and reach over like, squire to squire, nice to meet you. nice Drift, my name's Drift. And he's going to reach out to try and grab a hand to to shake it. Uh, yeah, I'll gingerly accept.
00:09:56
Speaker
And then a fellow squire. and Yes, good to meet you, ad Drift. Um... um Sir Knight, Sir Knight, there is some business that you need to attend to in yonder shelter. And I'll point back to the the shed um on our map that would have been from the bridge towards there. Is that the place where they're holding the goods?
00:10:20
Speaker
The transportation of goods? Yes, they are holding the goods. Very good. i have indeed come to the right place. You are most helpful. i I'm your squire. Okay, we're done here. We're going to start walking this way and I'll try and like shuffle Garak towards the shed.
00:10:38
Speaker
Rock, rock, it was a pleasure to meet you. Don't give up on your dreams. I look forward to the day that you become a diver.
00:10:46
Speaker
Thank you. And it's a pleasure to meet a knight such as yourself, Garak, and Falco LeJure. May the blessings of Faltinus live on inside you.
00:10:58
Speaker
Thank you. ah Drift, which way did you say the gilded anchor was? up down Down that way. that's the that's the That's the tavern everyone goes to. That's where all all of all the good people like to go to. You don't get the best views of the surge dive, but you you do get that's where they meet. That's where you can you can meet the guy I i mentioned about.
00:11:18
Speaker
they They get you in on the surge dive and, you know, it's the it's the biggest tavern. It's where they got all the goods. That's where Tashlin is? Violeta, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one.
00:11:29
Speaker
Okay. and And just out of interest, is that is that in a similar direction to where the other guys are headed or is that kind of... I had to check, Charlie, which um which direction were you, the shed you're referring to? So it's southeast on our on our map.
00:11:44
Speaker
Oh, okay. Right. Okay. Down there that we haven't been to yet. Okay. want dealing with you. I'm with you. Yep. Okay. Yes, it is a similar direction. and they They would go in, if they go into the place they're going, and then you'd skirt around to the south of it, and then the path continues up, kind of etching through the the cliff side.
00:12:02
Speaker
And it works its way up, up, up. And you can see where drift is pointing, Rock, and it's kind of over overhanging the ravine. But further along, this part of the ravine is quite flat to like ah almost like a plateau.
00:12:13
Speaker
on the, on the side of the ravine, further along where the path leads, it becomes quite sheer. And upon that sheer side is where you can see these, these kind of, um, similar to the, the, uh, pub that you went to last summer the Delving Eel, which was kind of cut into the side and into the rock.
00:12:29
Speaker
This is another similar one. That's got like a little outcropping built onto the edge of it, but it's kind of built in and all these kinds of different shapes and sizes of housing and, and, uh, and, pillaring and seems to dot across the side of this large mountain that seems to jut directly out of the ravine. You can tell, Rock, from looking up at this, that the ru the mountain came first and the ravine came second because the mountain very much is kind of cut off quite abruptly by this etched out water that's been forced its way through, you can imagine, through the ah the the sheer will of the tidal surge over maybe generations and generations of time. But yes, you
00:13:08
Speaker
Short answer, yeah, you're all heading the same roughly the same direction for now. Sorry. okay A little bit of lore sprinkled in there as well. Just as they're heading kind of further ahead, rock Rock's going to take his time a little bit more. um But they'll probably hear, just as they're walking away um as well, Rock just turn to Drift and say,
00:13:28
Speaker
did it look like those guys are wearing the same things as the ones that, you know, we saw a few days back in, and kind of have that conversation trail off, um, as, as the other
Tavern Meeting and Spider Problem Discussion
00:13:39
Speaker
guys are walking away. Uh,
00:13:42
Speaker
yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And so, ah we'll cut it in two halves and ah we'll assume that Falco and Gary kind of making your way forward ahead and we'll just finish up the bit that conversation with did you want to do that conversation was that just you wanted just to leave it on that ah I just I'm happy with either way really it was just kind of because he would probably mention that before they'd left before they'd gone away but it's yeah depending on what what they're doing what they're going to do and what we're doing so I'm happy to do it either way up to you Yep, I mean, well, i'll give I'll give Drift side of it as well then. and Yeah, it's the same group. I think I'm i'm pretty sure Drek was talking about um them. what i called them the ever um the ah ah the thing, you know, the one with the armour.
00:14:28
Speaker
I forgot what he said they were called. Do remember? As in what these people were called? Yeah, the one that... enshrouded tribunal? The the high winds? No, no, no. there are High winds, high winds. That's it, yeah. Because the tribunal lot, they're the miles away. They're up near Shadow Men. They're up to the north. and they Yeah, yeah.
00:14:49
Speaker
Small fry. Small fry. That's what they say. Small fry. And he does like the money signal with his hand. Small fry. Yeah. But they're they're pretty deadly. They've never really been as active as they are now.
00:15:02
Speaker
And when we were just the other side of the bridge there, I swear there was that that kind of announcer person. They were talking about this kind of dwarf thing happening, an invasion of dwarves, this high jade heart.
00:15:17
Speaker
And they mentioned dwarves, and I swear that Rifa was talking about dwarves, or there was mention of dwarves. That's a really weird coincidence. Yeah, I mean, um was this see she worked She's a soldier, isn't she?
00:15:32
Speaker
Anyway. Yeah. Well, sure, she'll catch up with us soon because she said she was going to meet us at the Gilded Armour. She's got that package, isn't she? She does, yeah. was slowing her down. Yeah. I mean, we'll see. But yeah, um I don't know. It seems a bit funny, if you're asking me, that they that we know what we know now about the dwarves and then she got attacked the same time.
00:15:56
Speaker
you know, and that her dad sounds like she's, and he's important, you know? Yeah. It's a really weird coincidence. I think he's like an army person, like an organizing person. You know I I think so.
00:16:13
Speaker
An army teller, a teller person, tell you go stand there and fight that one of those people. Hmm. Uh, right. Okay. Great. Well, uh, anyway, let's, uh, let's mush. I'm just gonna check this eel over once more.
00:16:29
Speaker
Okay. And then he's kind of starts walking. Kip Drifter is going to start kind of talking and walking, but just kind of muttering to himself, like kind of just chatting about things more like to remind himself of things are around Storm Spire.
Falco's Scheme and Cartographer Encounter
00:16:40
Speaker
And we'll just quickly pan over towards where we've got Falco and Garrick as you start to walk a few steps ahead of this massive Goliath and tiny little boy in comparison.
00:16:52
Speaker
ah This boy's probably, it again, about 12, 10, 11, 12, around that kind of age area anyway, but it's just infatuated with, not infatuated, wrong word, in... um or Oh, thank you. he had to get away from infatuated. It's not that kind of podcast. um ah interest yeah In awe of this incredible hero that he's attached himself to.
00:17:12
Speaker
um And you can see that just kind of like absolute wonder in his eyes and amazement that this person's willing to even talk to him, let alone listen to his advice. As you two make your way away, that you see you're going towards, as Falker said, the quote unquote shed. Is that right?
00:17:27
Speaker
Yeah, Shed Shack, whatever that that building is. Yep. The door's open at the moment. There's no signage out on top at the moment. What's your game plan?
00:17:37
Speaker
What are you aiming for?
00:17:42
Speaker
I'll just be like like ah like a toddler a fun fair trying to get their parents to like come and see something. I'll be grabbing him by the finger and trying lead him a along.
00:17:53
Speaker
you Just in here, sir, mate, sir, mate. Just in here. This is most helpful. Ever since I arrived here, I've been trying to find these goods. Our residents need them. Our military needs them. These are important.
00:18:07
Speaker
ah Yeah, sure. that they're i think they I think they're in this shack here. Very good. Is there a clientele? Is someone ah running the place that I need to speak to? you know You know what? I haven't seen anyone, but maybe if we check inside.
00:18:21
Speaker
Certainly. You know this area better than I do. I do. I do know this area. You walk up to the step and it's three wooden steps up towards the door. The door is hanging open at the moment. There's no like i said no signage out front. It's quite dark inside. A couple of candles.
00:18:35
Speaker
You walk in. It's quite a long room. Single room, as far as you can be ah be aware of. and and All you can see are a number of old dusty desks and and a man, ah it seems to be a human man, mid-age, sat at it, ah kind of scholarly look with a kind of a long beard, but just nothing on top of his head, bald head. Uh, and he sits kind of looking over what seems to be a large parchment.
00:19:02
Speaker
Uh, there's nothing really for sale in here. It's not a shop of any description, but this person does kind of quill in hand as your shadow encroaches upon the, the afternoon light, uh, looks up and towards you. Hello there.
00:19:17
Speaker
What have we got here? Uh, a night.
00:19:23
Speaker
ah Paladin from Valtinus. My name's Garrick Bladeheart. I'm from... cro Sorry, I interrupted you. That's okay. Usually I just speak over there, but I realise that you're old and frail and perhaps not the best at hearing. I'm in my 40s, Wow. or could You must have lived a hard life.
00:19:49
Speaker
I had a throat injury when I was younger, if you must know. got my teeth knocked out by an orc. They're horrible beings. Well, not all of them.
00:20:01
Speaker
Anyway... Did you manage to slay the orc? No, it was my ah ah a friend of mine, actually. It was a competition. He won. yeah And he carries on, like nods to you and then carries on ah what seems to be writing at the moment.
00:20:18
Speaker
So I'm here for the transportation of goods to
00:20:25
Speaker
Clifstone Keep.
00:20:28
Speaker
Okay. And whose goods are you transporting?
00:20:34
Speaker
Whose? Ours. ah Ours? Excuse me? Our goods for Clifstone Keep.
00:20:46
Speaker
Supplies, food, potions, medical. He sighs and puts his quill into the ink pot and crosses his hands. It's for the military garrison. I was led to believe that the goods were here.
00:21:00
Speaker
I'm to oversee the transportation of these goods to Clisterne Keep. Okay, son. Okay, son. Have a look around. Have a look around right now. And you tell me if there's any military equipment, goods, or food kept in this here establishment.
00:21:14
Speaker
It looks around. You just see scrolls of paper, ink pots, nothing's for sale. Upon looking down, Garrick, at what you can see around you, ah you see lots of kind of topographical map ah graphs and maps, a huge number of maps.
00:21:32
Speaker
I am here a cartographer of sorts, mapping the run of the ravine through Wild Heart. This is more of a scholarly establishment. My colleagues are on break at the moment.
00:21:44
Speaker
ah I think you might have me confused with ah literally anywhere else. It appears that we've been mistaken. And Garak will look down at Falco.
00:22:03
Speaker
Quaking in my boots a little bit. Maybe bead of sweat running down the brow. Sir Knight, a confession. I let you here under false pretenses.
00:22:17
Speaker
Please. just get historic face back at Please. Do not judge me. For I wished a private conversation. I got a pitch for you.
00:22:29
Speaker
Right. Do we... You say private conversation. Do you need him to go? yes because it's not very private if I'm stood here, young man.
00:22:41
Speaker
can hear it all, but I'm happy to i'll be to step outside of my own shop if you... Place, if... Not a shop, you know. Would you mind or flee? Yeah, that that would actually be quite quite nice of you, would you mind? You want me to leave my own house and just stand outside and shut the door?
00:22:54
Speaker
ah wasn't going to ask, but you did just offer. Well, I know I was offer, you know. Okay, fine. He rolls up one. You're not not having this one. This one's private.
00:23:06
Speaker
And he's going to take one scroll with him and walk out, get a mushroom, bloody people coming in here, and um shut the door. The candles flicker a little bit, but stay lit. And there's moment of silence as you can just see the shafts of light and dust moats in the air.
00:23:21
Speaker
And that for once, there's just, there's no wind. This is quiet.
00:23:27
Speaker
Sir, Sir Garrick. It was Garrick. just Well, hypothetically, let's say it was Sir Garrick. um I have not reached a situation where I am a sir yet.
00:23:39
Speaker
Well, it might be a lucky day, buddy. what what i'm I'm recently bereaved of my liege lord. May his soul rest in peace.
00:23:51
Speaker
He was involved in a bizarre accident thrown to his horse. Yeah. For Valtinus. i understand.
00:24:03
Speaker
um And what I'm looking for is is you. need... i need I'm looking for someone who who can win the crowd, can who can vanquish evil, all in the name of Faltinus.
00:24:25
Speaker
And perhaps we could you know spin some glory on some gold along the way. And obviously all that gold you know is going straight to charity.
00:24:44
Speaker
Yes, I just need to clarify one point that the god's name is Vatinus. I was testing you before. Yes, Vat-ee-ness. It's always a good way to find out and eke out the true followers from the fake ones.
00:25:01
Speaker
I couldn't agree more.
00:25:05
Speaker
Apologies, you need me to take on a mighty quest under the guise or name of Vatinus.
00:25:13
Speaker
ah Yeah, I guess if if that quest is to live a life of glory, to but to become a champion, a hero to the local people. The followers of Fatinas do it for the protection and service of others.
00:25:30
Speaker
Not for glory. Sure, sure. But what if they will... Not for individual gain.
00:25:36
Speaker
Okay. For the protection of the masses. Okay, okay. Is this a quest that requires... Protection for others.
00:25:47
Speaker
Yes.
00:25:50
Speaker
There is ah call for someone one of your stature and standing to perhaps participate in high-end tournaments and events for financial gain, but then only to be passed on as charity to those who need it.
00:26:12
Speaker
Praise Vatinus.
00:26:16
Speaker
Falco, could you make a e check of of persuasion or deception? Depending on whether or not you feel that Falco is telling the truth or is telling ah a little bit of a fib.
00:26:28
Speaker
I think he's using a fib to to get to the same truth. so we could decide and At the moment though, Garrick, what's your passive perception?
00:26:39
Speaker
Oh, 11. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Garrick's not really one for insight. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. We'll go for insight then, actually. Sorry, insight. but's see What's his insight? 11 as well. he's not He's not a smart cookie. and I assumed as much, but I also assumed you weren't going to roll for it because you're not looking. I'm not actively. I'm listening. yeah and Falco, what did you... Was it 21 for deception? Yeah, I mean, yeah it's it's not deception to him. It's the's the god it's literally for Tina's honest truth.
00:27:10
Speaker
It's like you are... ah it's it's like you Yeah. yeah this this is This is real. This is... Garrick, from your perspective, this is Literally the gospel. This isn't.
00:27:23
Speaker
This is indeed a most auspicious day. I've heard. From other soldiers up in Clifstone Keep. Stories. Where Valtinus sent.
00:27:35
Speaker
Valtinus sent a messenger.
00:27:41
Speaker
to unite.
00:27:45
Speaker
to tell stories of faith, questions about faith, challenges of faith, all in serving the long arm of the religious righteous act itself. That's what I'm talking about.
00:28:06
Speaker
I need to pray. you You take all the time you need. I'm just going to have Help me move this desk. Okay.
00:28:16
Speaker
Garak's going to grab one side of the the desk with all the maps on. Yep. I'll grab the other.
00:28:24
Speaker
Just flip it over. We need to create space. Oh, yeah, sure. just just Just flip it over. Are we talking off a straight up flip? So legs are in the air. Yeah, yeah. Just the quickest action and because Garak's...
00:28:38
Speaker
he might not look inside, but he knows strength. Um, he's just looking at a quick way to get some, uh, some floor. Uh, is it dirt on the, from your description of a tent? It's wood. Sorry. They're not going to like what I'm about to do.
00:28:53
Speaker
So he's just clearing, uh, immediate space. So the desk is right next to him. And sorry, I should have described it. It's wooden, wooden boards, um, woods, a bit of ah a premium here. There's not a lot trees, but it's a wooden, wooden boards, wooden sides, and then some kind of like thatched, uh, roof to it as well.
00:29:09
Speaker
Yeah, so you can do that. Maps fly everywhere. Not like birds. They're not like a bird. um Falling down to the ground. Actually, give me a strength check. Just just give me a d20 roll plus your strength modifier.
00:29:22
Speaker
just to see see how much Falco is needed for this or how much of it is just Garrick just out flipping. That's shame. That's a five. That's a five. Okay. So you do need that support of Falco because it's quite a hefty table actually on that. Falco, could you give me ah a strength check and add your your strength modifier? Come on, Falco. need your help.
00:29:43
Speaker
It's an unnatural 20. Oh, wow. and So, Garrick, for some reason, your mind is not on this. You're so in in in tune with the prayer that you don't actually think about the the the physics of the table. You just assume it would move.
00:29:57
Speaker
And luckily, for some reason, Falco, your body is just in the right position. And, you know, your, your mind is so set on and convincing Garrick of your cause that the table just goes and it just flips over and Garrick almost, you're still there about to flip the table and the table's kind of already, already in the process of flipping.
00:30:21
Speaker
ah I'll hold up my hands in front of me. Tina's gave me that strength. This is like I said, Most auspicious. And Garak getting a little bit excited as he kneels down and the paper's flying in the air and he's going to take his Morningstar and he's going to um use the butt, helm of the Morningstar and he's going to dig it into the wood and carve out a triangle.
00:30:47
Speaker
And then in the middle of the triangle, he's he's making it, I don't want to say like a triforce, but there's triangles in triangles in triangles, basically. like um And then as he's completed this, he's going to kneel next to it and just go,
00:31:01
Speaker
Fatinas, I am your lord loyal, faithful servant. You are the father of Aerith. And I hear your message. I will as you ask for the good of all of Wildheart.
00:31:17
Speaker
Bless me as I take on this challenge and prove my loyalty. And bless Clifestone Keep, the military might of Wildheart.
00:31:33
Speaker
Yeah, there we go. Stand back up. You might not feel blessed, but give yourself heroic inspiration for that. I'm thinking you already have it as a human, don't you? I'm sure you already have it.
00:31:44
Speaker
But if you didn't, you can give yourself that.
00:31:50
Speaker
and Falco, I have an image my head of why... Get down on your knees, Falco. Get down on your knees. You're in this team. On your knees. so ah uh uh okay bless vitinus i get that yeah bless vitinus known as the father of erith the father of erith you pledge your loyalty i pledge my loyalty and servitude in the great name and honor of being a part of something bigger than yourself and honor i pledge my loyalty and honor
00:32:32
Speaker
What was the last bit again? In being a part of something bigger than yourself. In being a part of something bigger than myself. For the protection and of all of Wildheart. For the protection of all of Wildheart.
00:32:49
Speaker
Come on, let's go. but Is that it? That's it.
00:32:56
Speaker
Okay. And at that, you um the the door creaks open. And then, then I must really get back to my... map What the fuck has just happened in this here house?
00:33:11
Speaker
Thank you for letting us talk in private. This here isn't talking. You've just etched a flipping triangle on the floor. It's not just a triangle. It's the mark of the penis. It's triangles in triangles. I can see that.
00:33:25
Speaker
You have been blessed upon this day. You've done something alright. My maps is all over, Chop. This bore witness to the very voice and actions of Vatinus itself.
00:33:41
Speaker
I don't care which god saw it. The fact remains, you've just etched a flipping triangle on four and now I've got to go around and pick up all maps.
00:33:51
Speaker
You gonna help me?
00:33:57
Speaker
We must go. We must go. and I'll stand up, brush my teeth. Bloody God-bashing bastards coming in here, ripping up my place, taking liberties.
00:34:11
Speaker
I'll be having words, don't you worry, and he wags a finger at Falco. I'll be having words, I will, don't you worry about that. I'm gonna, where are you from, young sir? Where are you from? Tell me where you're from, tell me where it is.
00:34:22
Speaker
Er, lanes beyond your reckoning, sir. Then I'm gonna scratch them all off Earth, every single flipping place except Wild Heart. I'll just put X's through them, because this young prick here and his clanky man came in here and did this to my house.
00:34:38
Speaker
Bastard! Bastard! He says to both of you.
00:34:44
Speaker
It might not seem like it right now, but you will look back on this day and you will remember nothing. I bloody will remember prick! I'll remember every bloody bit of it, you prick!
00:34:56
Speaker
You've scratched up my floor. You think you can come in here, clanky boy? Come in here, flip up my... Flip my table, etch some shit on the floor. What is that, a triangle? Is that an arrowhead? What are you trying to be? It's the symbol of a penis. You have been blessed this day.
00:35:13
Speaker
It's the symbol of you being a penis. That's what is, for sure. I'll give you that for free. I'm just making maps here, and you're coming me out and flipping... Do that.
00:35:27
Speaker
recompense You're going to give us something? Renumeration?
00:35:33
Speaker
Alright, what do you want? What do you want? What you want from us?
00:35:40
Speaker
I want renumeration, that's what I want. I don't know what that means. What do you want from us? I'd like someone to pay for the fact that I've got to have someone come in here and fix this floor.
00:35:51
Speaker
have no tarty symbol, no sex symbol on my floor, thank you very much. I'm getting rid of this right now. Turn all the boards around, make it look like something nice, like a mosaic or something.
00:36:02
Speaker
I'd like some money, please. You've just flipped, flipping fucked up my floor.
00:36:09
Speaker
Right. Okay. Well, how's a gold piece? Is that going to shut you Fine. Fine. right And I'll reach into my pouch and flick him one gold piece. He drops it. Oh, bastard. Where'd it go? I've got it.
00:36:22
Speaker
Now. And he wiggles it towards you. Don't you be coming into any more houses around Stormspire and etching symbols that aren't wanted? you understand me, young, young, young clanky man? And he ding-de-ding the gold coin against your armour.
00:36:41
Speaker
Yes. Yes.
00:36:45
Speaker
Oh, he's quiet now, isn't he? He's quiet now that he's damaged my property. The Vandal's quiet now, isn't he? Vandal, do you know who you're clanking, sir? I don't know you... How dare you say those words to me, young sir, young man?
00:37:01
Speaker
He's... You've just come into my house and drawn a triangle on the floor. Sir, you are striking the sacred armour of the Knight of Stone and Stars. I don't care what star or what s stone he's been clanking from, young man.
00:37:15
Speaker
fact remains that he's... He's full Monty Python now, isn't it The fact remains he's coming to the house. Just because a watery bin throw a sword at him does not make him... He's a very naughty boy.
00:37:29
Speaker
Now, get get out before I copyright any more phrases from the 80s. Bugger off! The pair of years! well, we're not going to seeing you anytime soon for any maps, sir.
00:37:41
Speaker
No, well, don't worry about that. No one will know where you're from. I've etched out every bastard placed in Earth apart from Wild Heart.
00:37:49
Speaker
Right, okay. Sir Knight, I don't think we should spend any more of your secret time here. Let's get a moving. Right, Sir Knight, more like Sir Shite. Fuck off, pair ears.
00:38:01
Speaker
Fuck off, get out of here.
00:38:05
Speaker
she Oh, I'm sad to see him go. Talon Bear's the name. Hurry, fucking forget it. i'll be back You've made an enemy today, young man. You've made an enemy, and I will, I will find a way to get my revenge.
00:38:19
Speaker
Perhaps we should just leave. Yeah, let's leave. hear that the name of Fartinas does not ring as important as I thought it would.
00:38:30
Speaker
Not as important as my bloody floor, young man. Fuck off.
00:38:34
Speaker
All right, fucking off. fuck We're fucking off. All right, and I'll ill leave.
00:38:40
Speaker
My apologies. This is to Falco as we leave, not to the fucking... Star Charpenters house! Oh, brilliant. And he slams the door. so I did not realise that in a moment of true conversation with my God would cause such offence.
00:39:00
Speaker
When the moment strikes, you have to pray. And I felt that moment there. That's why I did not apologize. But I appreciate you stepping in and paying the man what he thought was needed.
00:39:12
Speaker
However, be known to yourself. We've just blessed that place.
00:39:18
Speaker
All right. Okay. We've we've blessed that place. I mean, yeah, I lost the gold piece, but we're going to make it back tenfold in the next tourney. For the good of mankind. For the good of mankind in Vatinus.
00:39:31
Speaker
I like the image that... Lead on. I like the image that Garrick's just going to go around vandalizing places, but think it's like, you're welcome. In the name of the All-Mighty. need to pray.
00:39:44
Speaker
Fucking flipping tables. Brilliant. Okay, right. um Onwards. Where are you guys heading? What's the... What's your next port of call?
00:39:57
Speaker
Where's our next port of call? You bastard. i'll then I'll close my eyes as if, like, meditating.
00:40:07
Speaker
Garak has seen this many times and will expect, just nod as if talking to sense we needed somewhere with alcohol.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yes, usually you do have a toast towards gods. Maybe that is what you're hearing right now. Yeah, and and women as well. Something about scantily clad women?
00:40:42
Speaker
That's new.
00:40:45
Speaker
ah ah
00:40:50
Speaker
And that's where Garrix just sounds a little unsure on that one.
00:41:03
Speaker
Any ideas, Sir Knight?
00:41:07
Speaker
I must admit, I am... I'm still seeing boobs.
00:41:13
Speaker
Okay. ah I must admit, I am still new to this area. I was originally meant to be transporting goods to Clifestone.
00:41:24
Speaker
Keep...
00:41:29
Speaker
But you have put me on a new task. Nay. For Tina's.
00:41:35
Speaker
Maybe we need to talk more to the locals, understand the area, find a heading.
00:41:43
Speaker
I follow your lead, Sir Knight. My lead?
00:41:48
Speaker
Very well.
00:41:54
Speaker
Very well. So we're falling Geralt. Not Geralt. I've got a good name wrong now. Fuck, I've forgotten it. Geralt. Garrick. Oh, shit. Garrick. It's so close. um Garrick's... the Following Garrick's name. Garrick, where are you heading?
00:42:08
Speaker
What's your aim? What's your... You're speaking to the locals? Is that the... Literally the first person we see. Even that was next to us. As we say it. One, two, three, four. Could you roll a D4? I've got four NPCs ready to rock and roll more than that, but this is on this page. you've got four NPCs, roll a and that'll tell me which one we're going to... Literally, if you can imagine the camera on...
00:42:29
Speaker
uh falco and garrick as they're speaking it's like i take your lead the next frame just slide over and the nearest person still in the same shot so three one two three okay you look i imagine like uh falco's to your left and as you look to your right there's just that you're outside of this person's house talent or whatever his name was and um sat on a barrel as a little halfling sat in kind of like black with a shredded black hood up, kind of keeping herself to herself, arms like crossed across her chest, kind of looking very pointedly out towards towards the marketplace.
00:43:08
Speaker
And, uh, Garrett will turn to Falco. If it's one thing I know, Patinas will light the way. We just have to ask. Hello there. Fuck off.
00:43:31
Speaker
So you set that up. Someone else. I'm joking. What do you want? What do you want?
00:43:43
Speaker
What have you got? You got some goods? You got something for me? What have you got?
00:43:49
Speaker
Come on, talk, big boy. What have you got? boy Sorry. My name is Garrick Bladeheart. I am a paladin of Fartinus. Couldn't give a shit.
00:44:00
Speaker
What you got?
00:44:03
Speaker
I come from Clifestone Keep and work as a military. I was here to transport goods and now find myself on an almighty quest of protection for the masses under the name of the one true god, the father of Aerith, Fartinus.
00:44:20
Speaker
I wish to know more about this place. Is there an area of worship for one? And my friend who has had a conversation would like to find a place that sells alcohol and boobs.
00:44:40
Speaker
She outwardly laughs at that. She outwardly laughs at that. You can see she's got these quite narrow eyes and kind of a pointed, quite nose, quite like avian-esque features. It's a halfling though, and and literally a brown hair kind of ah stretched across her face, a straight brown hair under the hood.
00:44:57
Speaker
And she's stoic until that line about boobs. And then outwardly laughs little bit and tries to stifle it. It still has a bit of a grin on her face. Did you just say boobs?
00:45:11
Speaker
That is what you're looking for, is that not? It is. It is, yes. Yes, boobs. Attached to someone, I assume.
00:45:22
Speaker
Garrick will look down at Falco. Yeah, yeah. ah Fucking attached to someone. what would but We check. It was so specific. i just had to check.
00:45:34
Speaker
Thank you for checking. and Okay, okay. I can't help you with the boobs. ah can I can't help you with the alcohol. You got the Gilded Anchor? It's place to go. They might have boobs there. There's some boob people male and female that end up in there where is that just points over her shoulder which is to the left like over falco's shoulder past the house and round to the left uh kind of south on our map going that way that way up and round overlooking the ravine near the moor any place of worship yeah there falco
00:46:12
Speaker
Very well. You have answered all my questions. I bid you a good day. Thank you very much. May the blessing to Feltinas be on you. Yep, sure. And she goes back to stare and walk off in the direction.
00:46:26
Speaker
It seems our luck is in. he found bulbs? Maybe for you. For me, ah place of worship. For both of us, a place to drink.
00:46:40
Speaker
i'll follow I'll follow on. And that as you start making your way up, and I'm assuming along this way, Garrick, you would you would do the same kind of you, tell me things, um on the way to get you directly to where you want to go, which is the um the gilded anchor.
00:46:55
Speaker
but already quite a bit ahead and entering into the space is ah Drift and Rock. And you've made your way all the way up and Drift has kind of been muttering and chatting away the entire time. Not really aiming to speak to you, Rock, but he's been mentioning things and kind of muttering, oh, I need to remind me to do this. Oh, here it is. We're here. We're here. And he points to a large kind of...
00:47:17
Speaker
but and he points to a large kind of ah plinth entranceway, which is quite gilded and adorned with what seems to be wood, a wood frame around the entrance of this kind of internal stone cave, which has been etched. And you can see as you step in round rock, it's been etched in and down into the and into the into the mountainside itself. So many of these rooms and houses and places that you've passed by are similar to places you've been before Rockwake. They've dug into the stone, similar, not dissimilar, sorry, to the dwarves, in order to make use of the land around the the surge, as close as you could be to the tidal surge itself.
00:48:00
Speaker
You're stood outside, and again, clearly above the wall, ah sorry, above the door, you can see, well, not door, the entrance, where you can see it says, in quite nice cursive writing, the gilded anchor. And he kind of points in it with his thumb over his shoulder towards it.
00:48:13
Speaker
Told you get you here. 100% correct. Two pubs have done it. ah Yeah, no, um thank you. That's genuinely, that's that's really impressive, Drift. Thank you. You've you've earned your swire Squire's upkeep today, that's for sure.
00:48:27
Speaker
Yeah, he taps his his pocket where the money is and gives you another thumbs up. ah I mean, is there anything I need to know before I i go in here? is Is it like, I mean, competitions like the last one, or is it just ask around for Tashlin Violetta?
00:48:44
Speaker
um She's not the most willing to talk to strangers. ah She's probably not even there at the moment, but it's the place you need to go to like say, hello, I'm here to speak to Tashlin. And then they let her know that you're there and then she comes and...
00:49:03
Speaker
Because the the the title surge is like in a day or two, not long. So they'll be like getting the teams together and stuff like that for it. um Right, okay. But it's worth mentioning that um the dude we met before, Drek, the guy who owned the Delving Eel, it's a mate of his, Relic, who runs it here, there another orc.
00:49:26
Speaker
Oh, okay. They kind of have a little thing going. And they're they're friends? Yeah, c clo I'm pretty sure the package that i'm um um our friend, I've forgotten her Refa. Refa.
00:49:40
Speaker
The package that Refa has is from direct two um to Relic. So I think they've got some kind of goods that they pass between each other. They like trade stuff, I think. Well, if she took another route up, maybe she's already in there. So yeah, let's and have a look. Yeah, she might be. She might be.
00:49:57
Speaker
We can head on and have a look. Okay, cool. and Oh yeah. And um there's lots of stuff like torture and death in here. Just just give it a tip. Yeah. As he's walking through the door, he'll go, huh? you Just carry on in through.
00:50:10
Speaker
And as you walk in you instantly, as you take a few steps in Drift instantly kind of looks over his shoulder and just again gestures over his shoulder. And very obviously you can see this really interesting space appear in front of you.
00:50:24
Speaker
What you first notice is that it it does dive down into the depths of the mountain a little bit. There's a few steps down as you approach it. um The first thing you see is this strange kind of wooden walkway that leads out and three jutting out separate bits of wall that juts out towards you.
00:50:41
Speaker
And then there's a level down in those smaller areas, like squares off to the to the left. In each of those, you can see is like a secret cubbyhole area, and like on the floor below, where there's a small kind of private room, private room, private, three kind of private rooms.
00:50:57
Speaker
Along the front of this wooden walkway that's about maybe about five, six feet wide, You can see three very obviously prop, but very much there.
00:51:10
Speaker
Hangman's gallows hanging over the lid ledge down towards the second story down. You notice this, you kind of entered onto the top bit, but then most of the bar below is is down another level. So these nooses are like hanging down over two large tables below that.
00:51:25
Speaker
Directly ahead of you can see ah number of large barrels as well. And as you walk down, you see a couple of patrons sat at small two-person tables off to the right, nearest to the the side, which overlooks the rest of the bar.
00:51:38
Speaker
It's warm. It's dark. It's comfortable. There's some so some carpets laid at certain points around the floor. And as you approach the end of this long, um not corridor, because there's no walls to it, this long sideways, the stairs turn to the right and down, and they're etched in stone. But before you notice that, you can ah almost overlook into the bar.
00:51:59
Speaker
The bar area has these quite ornate pillars and etched out of wood that been obviously placed there for years. just making the place feel nice. It's dark oaken style wood, these large casks to your left. And you can see a number of people who work there behind the bar pulling pints and pulling drinks As you turn to see the the main part of the bar, you notice there a number of archways holding the place up and a real mishmash of tables around.
00:52:25
Speaker
You've got three-person table, a four-person table. You've got a rack used for to to stretching and torturing someone. but There's a number of patrons stood around drinking. and No one is being tortured or none of these devices are being used for their their purpose, they've almost been repurposed for this purpose or either that, or they've been built to give this place a kind of an allure of torture, if you will.
00:52:50
Speaker
But the atmosphere is really rather jovial. Um, you can hear laughter. You can hear, and you can hear you know high intensity and energetic conversations taking place and it's a warmth in there. There's something warm, there's something less ethereal from the outside with the with the toadstools and the glow moss fruit and and all those other elements that just feed off the surge. This feels so much more strangely natural. strangely natural um ah There's a small layer of smoke across the the ceiling as well.
00:53:24
Speaker
And continuing to look around, there's a number of tables. There's one of those big X racks as well. There's like ah a level up on the far side of the bar that gives you, gives space for some of that what you can assume, well, you might not assume, but seems to be there's and there's a number of patrons up there tippling some small glass drinks. You can assume might be some kind of spirits up to the to the kind of the other side of the bar as well.
00:53:48
Speaker
And like I said, there's ah there's a general hubbub and air of of joviality throughout this entire the entirety of this establishment. It feels nice. It feels warm. feels friendly. feels good.
00:54:00
Speaker
And Drift kind of walks down the first 15 kind of foot worth of stairs down into this area. And this first kind of walkway through, he kind of gestures to you, come on, come the bars down this way. And he walks along this, this long wooden corridor towards the but carpeted area and turns down the stairs and then gestures and waves to a rather pissed off looking orc that stood behind the bar.
00:54:22
Speaker
serving a rather posh looking man as he draws his way through yet another story or something as as you come around the corner. ah Drifts, pulls up and just gets himself up onto a stool and kind of leans on the bar, smiling, and then looks towards you, towards you, Rock.
00:54:41
Speaker
So as Rock's kind of making his way down this kind of gangway, he's still got the eel in both of his arms in front of him. And he's kind of looking around as he's walking around, looking down at it like...
00:54:54
Speaker
yeah Kind of shrugs himself, shrugs to himself a little bit and just carries on down and sits himself next to Drift there on a bar stool, I guess, if if Drift is at the bar um and looks kind of at the barkeep. Is is the barkeep orcish, did you say, sorry?
00:55:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's a full orc and big ah tusks from the mouth. Long, dark black hair and quite pale green skin. ah Sleeves rolled up, has white shirt on and some trousers. says listening and nodding to a a man talk about something.
00:55:28
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. um Rock will kind of look to look to drift, look back at the barkeep and kind of smile at drift and then wait politely for this other person to stop talking.
00:55:40
Speaker
And the orc notices you, clocks you, gives you like a ah a BSX look and then looks back to the mat. And, you know, that was the second of the iterations of of of my affornt falling before me.
00:55:55
Speaker
The third one. And you see the awkward awkwardly shift on his, on his feet and just starts to half move away from him. And very slowly, almost like trying to get away from a child when they're asleep.
00:56:07
Speaker
Just one thing at a time. First turns the head, still looking at the man. Then, then moves the body a bit further away. He keeps talking. Flits the eyes towards you, Rock. Looks back.
00:56:20
Speaker
Still talking. Flits the eyes. Moves a bit closer. And then she starts talking you. The man just continues talking. Apologies. That's okay.
00:56:32
Speaker
I haven't seen your type. it' Sorry, one of your starts aren't here in a while.
00:56:39
Speaker
Uh, okay. none none No other a kind of Goliath folk up here in Stormspire like this place? so None as athletically looking as you. oh thank you. I like to look after myself.
00:56:53
Speaker
um So I will have two waters, one for myself and one for my squire. And ah also, I think you should probably know, I know Drek...
00:57:06
Speaker
And he gives kind of a big smile and like his eyes widen a bit. ah And this orc's eyes kind of lift for a second. The eyebrows lift for a second. Oh, you know Drake, do you? Yes, I hear that he is a friend of yours.
00:57:22
Speaker
Yes, we do some trade every now and then between our establishments. Yep. Excellent. And now that we've got that kind of common knowledge together, do you know a Tashlin Violetta? Is she here this evening?
00:57:36
Speaker
If she was, I wouldn't tell you. Sorry, no offense. ah Is it because you don't know? or i know her very well, actually, but it's you I don't know anything about.
00:57:52
Speaker
And In the nicest possible way, I don't trust you. Tash Flynn's a private type person, you see, and... ah don't know who you are, and improve yourself.
00:58:06
Speaker
No, sorry, my apologies. My name is Raka Harangui Likopeku Lasa Hokea Fetulia Moi. ah This is my squire, Drift. um And, well, I'm going to be a ah surge diver um one day, and I heard this was the place to kind of meet up.
00:58:23
Speaker
He nods. mar I can see why you want to speak to Tashlin, given that she organizes the jumps down at the moor. Although it cares for me that she keeps a tight ship, no pun intended.
00:58:36
Speaker
No? Okay, well, he keeps the typed ship, and, you know, those that those that dive on her patch, she knows. And I'm part of that gatekeeping process, you see, and you can't just rock up and take her place, you know? Yeah, yeah we lost a team, but that's not the point.
00:58:54
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. um Nope, it's expected. Okay. ah do Do you... How do I but meet her if I can't meet her to meet her?
00:59:07
Speaker
He's got to... He looks around unsure. like No one's been that no one's been up ah noah's been that blunt with me before, boy, you see. oh Shit.
00:59:18
Speaker
ah Well, I guess you've got to prove yourself somehow, right? ah Look, if I let you, Sputash Limb, and you turn out to be a right bastard, and you're useless, you know, fucking, you just, you can't even make it down the ravine and you die.
00:59:35
Speaker
i'll look like a bastard too, you know, and I got to make sure that those that let him speak to you you know, are of a certain quality, you know. tell you, I know that you're a decent, I mean, I know you've got a body like an Adonis and you've got abs for days, I can see that through your shirt, but although I know it means you can fight, you know, you can all be able to look, you look like you can there, like I was a few years ago and he he flaps his um man boobs.
01:00:00
Speaker
And, but you know, although I know that you're not just, you know, all look and no bite, so to speak. ah Oh, is this like and another challenge thing? Drek had one of those at his pub too. It's kind of like a contest.
01:00:18
Speaker
um I didn't win, but i'm I'm sure I could prove myself here. Well, you haven't really endeared yourself, given that you lost at Drake's vitinous old competition of beating heads together. No, this is Stormspire. We have standards. Look at the place.
01:00:36
Speaker
And he gestures around. No one's headbutting each other. Sure, we got a couple of hangman nooses, couple of torture devices there and a stretching rack. There's nothing here that says violence like that.
01:00:51
Speaker
Absolutely not. Right. And, uh, okay. So what what would you suggest I do? How can I prove myself?
01:01:00
Speaker
Well, I mean, it was that easy. I could actually, huh? And he turns around and, uh, shouts back into the, into the kitchens behind him. Hey, Carla, come here.
01:01:14
Speaker
Carla. And this really rather rye, rotund is the word for rotund, plump, ah short human man waddles out with a large, very greasy chef's hat upon his head, but just kind of like a vest.
01:01:32
Speaker
Yeah? What is it? ah oza Of all spiders still causing you trouble? Yeah, I told you. They still haven't... I told you days ago. did you not remember?
01:01:47
Speaker
don't remember. i just didn't think it was a big deal, you know? is the No, they took they took the apprentice.
01:01:55
Speaker
Oh. and as ah um ah God, I've forgotten his name. Shit. Raylet kind of turns towards... Thank you. Towards you, Rock, and then back. Uh...
01:02:08
Speaker
This makes me see ah look a little incompetent. yeah What, so the boy's gone? yeah, they took him through the hole in the wall. I did tell you this. I said, we need to break it up or the spiders will keep coming.
01:02:23
Speaker
Well, and ah ah exactly. And he turns back towards Rock. Very obviously not what he was aiming for you to do, but now has come to the conclusion I have a spider problem. It's eating my apprentices, and I need you and your ah but boy to rid me of those spiders, and then I'll know you're not a bag of shite.
01:02:52
Speaker
Uh, I mean, sure, sounds like a pretty easy way to prove myself. Simple. 10 to 15, 5 wide spiders. Kill them off, and job's a good'un.
01:03:04
Speaker
ah five Five feet wide? Oh, i With their arms out and wide. Well, they just took a boy for Vatini's sake. It's not some little spider you see on a table dancing around you can smash with your hand.
01:03:19
Speaker
They took a boy. So it's a bit it's a big bastard, you know. There's got a couple of them there, you know. Yeah, I couldn't work out how they'd managed to to take the child, but now that's... because they're fucking massive, you know, up here. and he puts his arms out wide, knocks, oh, fucking, knocked a drink there.
01:03:34
Speaker
It's a big, yeah, big bastards, you know. I did tell Drek about him a while ago. I'm expecting some ah some cloth that apparently the smell makes the spiders run away. There's supposed to be some up here any day now, actually, chi but nothing's turned up.
01:03:51
Speaker
Drek's getting slow in his old age, busy headbutting. Oh, right. um Okay, ah is this spider ah place, is it is it nearby? do it like where Where do I need to go for it?
01:04:05
Speaker
Oh, i run the bar and in the kitchen here. You here you come up to where we are when I was just speaking with the old car just now. And it's um just down there.
01:04:17
Speaker
There's a hole, they dig a hole through the wall, you see. You've got crawl through it a bit. You're a big boy, but I think you can fit. We'll hoof your legs in a bit. And you crawl in, and I'm sure you can figure it after that. Just kill him off.
01:04:31
Speaker
I'm sure there's some eggs, probably. a way Just squish him down, and then come back through, and job's good. and I'll let you know where Tashlin is. Okay, no, that that sounds great. um I've got quite a lot of goods, and he kind of looks down at the eel in his arms, that I'm hoping to hold on to that it probably doesn't make sense to take with me. um Have you got somewhere I can just kind of store these if I'm to go and, you know, squish some spiders?
01:05:00
Speaker
Oh, and he looks around a bit. Oh, I got ah a crate over there. You could bung him in, and he points behind the barn. pulls out this quite large... maybe ah three or four meters, metter three or four foot wide ah crate and kind of slams the table.
01:05:16
Speaker
So I'll get in there, I'll put it in back and keep hold of it tell you till you're back. Hold on lot. Oh, that's perfect. Thank you. Drift, you can put the the the big sack ah ah all of all the different things in there, and I'll put this one on top.
01:05:32
Speaker
um And then have you got there, is this something that I need to do by myself um with the with the spiders to to kind of prove myself? You said there was about 10 to 15. Oh, it's probably quite a lot. there ah There's a coven under there. It's been going for quite some time now.
01:05:46
Speaker
ah I mean, you can do by yourself if you really want, but I mean, depends how much you want to die. Oh, preferably not not much. i'd That's the right answer. Drift.
01:05:58
Speaker
It was a drift you said, this boy. Will you go with him? And he's, yeah, yeah, I'll go. 100%. I'll be there. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay. ah Yeah, we'll we'll deal with the spider problem. Not a problem.
01:06:08
Speaker
we can do it. love You It's lovely to meet you, Raylic. We don't need anyone. um I don't know about that yet, but... Not yet, yeah. I will prove myself to you, Raylic, and I'm looking forward to meeting Tashlin.
01:06:20
Speaker
Okay. Okay. And I'll kind of back away from the bar and kind of have Drift kind of with me a little bit. We're going to go fuck up some spiders then? Yeah, definitely. But the the trouble is, he said there was like 10 to 15 of them, and I'm pretty sure that I could deal with quite a few of them.
01:06:35
Speaker
Yeah. But i've I've only got two arms, and and they've got like eight each. So that's a lot more. Yeah, that's 125 arms.
01:06:45
Speaker
That's a lot of arms. goodness. You are a genius. I'm just really good with numbers. I run out of fingers. I use my toes. How many of those have you got? You don't want to know. Storm Spire's a weird place.
01:07:01
Speaker
Don't ask questions. Right. Okay. and Now, have a look around the park. Is there anyone that you think could be, you know, help us, join us fight with us? Um... Um, and he's darting round. And every time he looks at a new table, he goes, um, um, and each table, there's different groups of people, old men, there's a fisherman, there's a a couple of surge, uh, farmers.
01:07:24
Speaker
Um, um, um, and then suddenly the door slams and a silhouette appears bright gleaming armor steps through.
01:07:37
Speaker
Um, and we see the bodice, nay, the body of Garrick step through. And it is, there's little bit of sunlight coming through as well as the sun dips low now over the horizon, shining over the mountains and in through the door. Like this was almost planned.
01:07:57
Speaker
Garrick walks in through the door, followed or led by Falco. No, no, it was Garrick. Garrick was leading. And then ah the body of Falco following behind, uh, Drift looks up, stops his arms, looks up towards Garrick and Falco, then looks back down to somewhere else. um I don't know. i don't know anyone. I don't really know what we're looking for, so i don't really know what to but to do here.
01:08:23
Speaker
how about ah how How about you take a moment? I'm going to get us some drinks with my, and he pats his pocket, with my Squire's money. And um we'll we we'll we'll just chill. We'll just figure out where who we want to speak to.
01:08:39
Speaker
ah like the look of that guy and he points to the the drunk noble at the bar. I think he'd be good, like, to die. Like, we could use him as a shield. The spiders could eat him. And when they're full, that's when we kill the others. That's why I think it'd be a good idea. I don't quite... owe i'm Okay, if you think that's a good idea.
01:08:59
Speaker
I mean, what do I know? I'm literally 12.
01:09:05
Speaker
I think that's a great idea. I don't want to die. Rifa was here, i mean, she delivers a hell of a headbutt. Where is she? She said she was kind she was going to do something and then would come right here.
01:09:16
Speaker
That's what I thought. Can you see her anywhere? All I can see, I mean, that's not her over there, is it? the The short one? No.
01:09:28
Speaker
No. Rifa had more hair, I think, and more like... Oh, of course. She was a o like she was a a lady, and that's ah that's a halfling human... ah No, a boy. Is it?
01:09:40
Speaker
I don't know. It's bit smoky. Right, let me get some drinks. What is your tipple? You ordered some waters, but that's not the... I did. I completely forgot. Would you like something better than that?
01:09:52
Speaker
It depends. Have they got the sparkling kind? Nope. Oh. They've ah no olive style they got... They've got Thunderstrike. you want a Thunderstrike?
01:10:03
Speaker
Is what's that? Is that like a, I'd say people saying it. Is it a juice that goes in the water? It's like, yeah. Infused with some of the lightning or something like that.
01:10:16
Speaker
Sure. Let's say that. Okay. Yeah. I'll take one of those. Thank you. I have no idea. I've never, I hear people say Thunderstruck. I know it's a place. and know they got the name of a place. That's all I got.
01:10:28
Speaker
I tell you what, take this and and he'll quickly reach into his pouch and pull out three more silver pieces and say, ah today's wage is just a little bit early. Take that and then you can use that if you want. I'm going to just have a little look around and see if I can find anyone that looks like they could kind of fight. They might be, and he's kind of following ah Garrick and Falco on the way down.
01:10:49
Speaker
They might be, I mean, I know that they could, I could ask him, I suppose. You deal with the drinks, I'll see what I can do. dude Oh, thank you, my legal lord, for this boon. And he kind of bows his head little bit. I'm going to get drinks.
01:11:02
Speaker
And he's going to scuttle off to the bar, up next to the um the the noble, and instantly turn to him and go, do you want to kill some spiders? and And then strike up an awkward tipple of conversation um amongst those two. But he's going to order the drinks, as you said. Yeah.
01:11:17
Speaker
Garrick and Falco, you've just stepped through the door to the the ah the tavern, the Gilded Anchor, after slowly making your way there and and probably alienating half the population of Stormspire on the way.
01:11:29
Speaker
um You finally reach your destination. You walk in i'm not going to describe it again, but you see the same thing in front of you. And again, it's a nice atmosphere do to down the steps down. There's smell of alcohol. There's a lack of boobs.
01:11:41
Speaker
external of clothing but there are female people in the vicinity Falco of the establishment as well. um What do you want to do? You do also both notice the the the massive Goliath stood at the bar kind of pointing up to you at one moment and then kind of wandering around a little bit as you enter. Garrick and Falco what would you like to do?
01:12:06
Speaker
It appears that this is a good place for alcohol. Garak's looking around. I see potential places to make worship.
01:12:24
Speaker
I don't see your boobs.
01:12:33
Speaker
A shame for the boobs I can work on. this this guy Does Garrick have a cloak or a cape? ah let me check.
01:12:45
Speaker
No. He doesn't. He does not. I was going say was holding like a bridle train. We should get him one. And not like a hold of the inside of a pocket, like Prison Break. yeah no We should definitely get him one.
01:13:02
Speaker
All right. Okay. Well, the boobs I can work on. It's a shame, truly. But... Work in progress. Oh, look, there's that blue dude down at the bar.
01:13:13
Speaker
Rock, rock. Rock, rock.
01:13:21
Speaker
oh
01:13:24
Speaker
Shall we get some wine? Wine sounds good. or Maybe something strong. No, let's start with wine. Let's start with wine. Just a gift direct from the gods.
01:13:37
Speaker
make his way yeah The moment you get to the bottom of the stairs, ah Rock's going be there kind of in front of you and go, Garrick, hi, ah it's me, Raka Hrangui Likopeku Lassa, Hokea Fetulia Moi.
01:13:50
Speaker
ah we We met at the ah ravine. I was the one that said my name was Raka Hrangui. i remember, Rock, Rock. It's good to see you again. Yeah, it's good to see you too. Hey, um listen, would you like to kill some spiders with me to prove ourselves to the barkeep here, Raylic, and maybe get an audience with Tashlin Violetta?
01:14:16
Speaker
Garak's going to look too... Falco.
01:14:23
Speaker
Um, I'll move between the two of them, which i would probably make me like dick height for, for rock. I imagine. Uh, Falco Ladeur. Hi.
01:14:34
Speaker
Uh, Hey, um, you see, the thing is, i it's a bit low grade. Like this guy's a big deal and I'll reach behind me and pat like his leg pauldron.
01:14:51
Speaker
Um, Any chance you got something fancier that you could get you he could kill? ah I don't know. I mean, there's a spider problem that I've been asked to deal with that I probably can't deal with myself. and Why have you asked to deal with it?
01:15:05
Speaker
Oh, because I want to meet Tashlin Violetta, who is basically quite big up in the surge diving business. And she seems to set some sort of meeting here of people that can make their way down to the surge, either on the day of the surge, like the surge divers do, or maybe just afterwards. And they can, you know, exploit the riches that the surges bring and become incredibly wealthy and famous. It's just not for protection or the good of those in this keep.
01:15:32
Speaker
It's self-serving. No judgment. the spiders. No, the spiders have taken a boy as well. which They've taken a boy. a little boy. i And they're big spiders. Because I made the mistake of thinking that there's lots of little spiders like carrying them between them on their back, maybe with some string or web or something like
Fatinus' Sign and Riches Quest
01:15:51
Speaker
that. But no, they're big. They're huge. They're like five foot wide. They've got at least a hundred legs between them. Falcom, it's no mere coincidence that we were ushered here by Fatinus.
01:16:04
Speaker
This is clearly a sign. We need to go and save this boy. Sir Knight, I'm sorry to interrupt, but maybe it's a sign that we were drawn towards the riches of the tidal search.
01:16:22
Speaker
Oh. I don't understand that translation. but what way Well, Rakapanganui, he said... He said that once he completes this task, he would go on to to dive in, that did to do some some kind of task. That they would would gain him riches. And perhaps if we were to help him do that, he might share in the riches.
01:16:51
Speaker
So you agree we should kill the spiders? Yeah. Uh... Yeah. To save the boy. to and end the And for the riches.
01:17:07
Speaker
You have our power.
01:17:11
Speaker
I'm so sorry. did did you He's going to search his pockets. ah I didn't realize. Why are you searching your pockets? to try and find that power for you. you did Did I, did you? I have the power of the gods with me and my morning star.
01:17:31
Speaker
Point me in the direction of these spiders. Oh, great. Oh, okay. Great. ah And he's going kind of wave over to ray Like Ray, like got a team, got the spiders. Just,
01:17:43
Speaker
but Rocker. rock Oh, i you're trying to say Rocker. Yeah, that's my name. um I need to work on that. My apologies.
01:17:54
Speaker
For now, Rock Rock will be sufficient. For you. Okay.
Spider Cave Exploration Begins
01:18:01
Speaker
While you're here, and you know this place quite well, clearly, is there a place that can worship?
01:18:11
Speaker
I mean, it depends. What kind of things do you like to worship? They've got ropes. um they they they I think they quite like- For my deity, Fatinus.
01:18:24
Speaker
He needs to worship boobs, so. Right.
01:18:31
Speaker
Wait, Fatinus needs it. There's no comma between that. When he says he he, looks down at Valco. Right, okay. Not for Tina's needs to worship boobs. That's not... because The father of Aaron just loves to get his fucking lips off. Boy, he a moment he's a motorboating son of a bitch. I'll look eyes with with Rock and I'll nod very slowly.
01:18:59
Speaker
ah Okay. ah ah so One to discuss another time, but that's a question we'll come back to. Point us in the direction of the spiders. Great. it's It's kind of this way. Drift.
01:19:12
Speaker
Drift. I mean, it might be safer you kind of ah hang there or or if you're going to come with maybe hang to the back. um But we're we're going now. And Rock's going to kind of thumb over his shoulder to the direction that he was told the ah hole is for said spiders.
01:19:28
Speaker
And Drift will just give you a yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'll follow.
01:19:34
Speaker
Is the rich guy coming with him? ah No, he stays abundantly there. He's he's still resting. God, that would have been brilliant though He's still resting his head on his hand. He's like, he's passed out. And he unfortunately isn't, but now I really want him to.
01:19:47
Speaker
No, already he said he's not. He's he's he's passed out there and and Drift kind of gets off the chair and What you ah firstly see and is Relic, half-swarm, stood there looking at you as a group, looks at you all, kind of nods in, kind of like, all right, that'll do.
01:20:05
Speaker
And you walk through the back of the bar, around the edge of the the Oaken Bar, into where the food prep kitchen area is a strong statement. But anyway, you've got these two dudes back there working on food, hacks and meat, and etc., cutting off Glowmos fruit and fiddling with a sage boot, glome lichen root.
01:20:23
Speaker
some storm vine and some sea strike eel and then hacking away like a butcher's place pretty much back there. as you walk back there, both of them look back and look towards the right hand side as you enter. And as you see under a table, there's a rather large hole that's been scratched out of the, uh, the cave wall. These cave walls have been, you know, colored and painted and decorated in a way that that hides a lot of the fact that you are indeed actually underground, save the fact there are no windows.
01:20:52
Speaker
but this has been at almost and and and violently, you almost looks like it's been attacked in some way, either in or out, or both. And there are kind of etchings and marks around the outside, around the outside, around the outside.
01:21:05
Speaker
And ah this hole that sits at about, about four five foot wide underneath the table, kind of sat kind of not, not into the wall, but into the floor and wall kind of at a diagonal angle of that, that apex between wall and floor. That's a weird way of saying that. Anyway, down basically. Okay.
01:21:29
Speaker
And Rayleigh just points to him. That's hole in there. and he gets his fingers out and goes, uh, eggs, eggs, eggs, uh, spiders, and, you know, any broodmother or anything like that that's in there, you know, just kill the lot, dead inside, anything you find in there is a fair game for you, but if you find the boy alive, that'll be handy too, for me, not for you, obviously, we'll have him back, but everything else is for you, and then, yeah, you come back up, and I'll, uh, I'll let you, I'll let Ashlyn know you're here, and I'll know you can handle your worth,
01:22:06
Speaker
Great, that is perfect. Exactly what we're looking for. ah Just quickly before we go, are you going to eat that? And he's motioning over to some of the food that's currently being prepared. ah The quietly spoken man that you met earlier, Kara, just rolls his eyes. Fine then. And takes a little slice of a bit of the sea strike eel and flings it over towards you. ah Could you make a dex check just to see if you can catch that?
01:22:34
Speaker
Just straight up dex? Add your modifier. Oh, no. Yeah, go athletics. Or combatant. ah yeah if i can If I can swing acrobatics on it, that's an even better roll for me. Sure. um Awesome. Yeah, it's 24. Out of the air, perfectly in your hand.
01:22:54
Speaker
You've got this piece of um decent cut of sea strike eel in your hand there. ah He's kind of half stuffing and going, oh my god, thank you so much. This is a good stuff. I've tried this before. And he's going to make his way kind of towards the hole with that.
01:23:09
Speaker
And Rock's leading the way. Garrick Falco? anything you want to do before you enter the hole?
01:23:16
Speaker
Nope. Just observing and just being almighty.
01:23:27
Speaker
As we answer, I'll just say, did did he say broodmother?
01:23:32
Speaker
as you walk on in Drift, the behind, will try and intimate and do exactly what ah Rock did. Yeah, can I have some of that as well, please? And they just ignore him and he just, yep, cool. Okay, right. And he just kind of heads in heads in at the back behind
Navigating the Dark Spider Cave
01:23:45
Speaker
Falco. So the running order I've got at the moment entering in is Rock, then Garrick, then Falco, then ah Drift. Would that sound about right?
01:23:54
Speaker
Yep. Lovely. Well, let's just skim on over to ah another little map, map, mapstacle we've got right here for you on drift, on drift 20, on roll 20. um Man's been busy on roll 20, guys. You know me, bro.
01:24:07
Speaker
Let me just get you in the order. Hopefully, can you see your names on those, on the fate the name plates? Yeah. Okay, good, good, good. Because I had problems with it before. So ah suddenly there's ah darkness.
01:24:22
Speaker
serious, full-on perpetuating darkness. This is not the the cave of humanity or the say the sapient beings of of the bipeds. This is the domains of the spider.
01:24:36
Speaker
So there are no torches. It is deathly dark. Does anyone have a dark vision? going to night vision. Hell no. Okay, we're going to find it little bit dark in here at the moment. um You enter in and you feel this sudden wave of absolute blanket of darkness enter over you.
01:24:54
Speaker
You take a few steps in. Anything you want to do as you as you approach that and realize one whole sense is pretty much going to be shot to shit? I mean, Rock's got his adventuring kit with him, but kind of as they're making their way into, he's just going to quickly turn to to Garrick and say, ah to are you going to keep your squire at the back as well?
01:25:13
Speaker
I just, we don't want them to get like, I mean, they're both little boys. We don't want them to get kind of eaten by what we're going to be facing in here.
01:25:27
Speaker
No.
01:25:30
Speaker
No. Okay. Oh, did does yours fight? you trained him?
01:25:37
Speaker
He's been my squire for 45 minutes. Wow. Wow. ah Two days. And he's going to point over towards Drift. So we're all new to this.
01:25:51
Speaker
I guess so. And as he's saying that he's kind of taking out his tinder box, he's taking out his torch, he's kind of striking up and and lights his torch there. ah do you Do you have one of these?
01:26:03
Speaker
Yes, but I have my shield and my morning star and you need me to fight. Oh yeah, that's true.
01:26:14
Speaker
If you hold that up ah get closer to my armor, Because I polish it every day. It will shine somewhat brighter.
01:26:26
Speaker
It does look like you polish it a lot. Yeah, that's fine. Some people will say that when the sun rises and glistens against my armor, I look like a lighthouse.
01:26:38
Speaker
What the fuck? Rock's going to stare at you. I think I can see That's why I stand on the edges of cliff stone, trying to keep the ships at bay. um There's no water around Clifestone Keeper's top.
01:26:51
Speaker
There isn't. The ships probably don't come close then. I think you're doing a good job. They rocks because of my armor. Right.
01:27:03
Speaker
That's pretty impressive. Onwards, and Rock's going to kind of turn and then lead away with the torch. All right. and We are now lit, so we have some lights. And the first thing you notice is this is about 10 foot wide. It starts 5 foot and it spreads out to about 10 foot wide, then narrows down and splits into two separate passages.
01:27:22
Speaker
Firstly, you notice that there is a, as your eyes start to adjust a slight hum, not smell, but audible, audible hum, very slight, almost like the rocks itself are slightly vibrating. Is this the nature of mountainous caving or is this something else?
01:27:40
Speaker
There's a slight, a greeny, bluey, licheny element to the to the walls. It's wet to touch, if you were to touch it moist. And a series of cobwebs, large, thick, almost string in terms of like thickness.
01:28:00
Speaker
spider webs kind of dotted around the place some of which they break easily enough but they they look relatively intimidating as you as you approach them and the the passageway splits now i'm thinking rock you're still at the front of this little gravy train of joy ideally okay rock garrick falco drift at the moment you've got two options here You've got a pathway to the east.
01:28:23
Speaker
So you're kind of top top left corner for those who obviously aren't on Roll20 with us. You're top left corner and you've got two options. You've got a southern enter a so southern route and you've got an eastern route. The eastern route, fine, you can just walk through the southern route.
01:28:37
Speaker
You'd have to, all of you bar drift, but have to turn yourselves sideways to kind of shuffle by because it's quite a narrow ah narrow way What would you like to do? I guess, Rock, it's down to you.
01:28:51
Speaker
Yeah, he'll kind of look at both directions. ah ah Any preference?
01:29:03
Speaker
ah And Garak will look behind him. Any preference?
01:29:12
Speaker
Uh...
01:29:18
Speaker
ah but I look back to drift. there any Any preference?
01:29:26
Speaker
Oh, God. ah And he gets out a coin. Flip a coin.
01:29:38
Speaker
ah flips a coin up in the air, catches it, and then looks towards Falco. it's it's It's tails. I'll look to Garak. It's tails.
01:29:55
Speaker
Garak will look towards Rock. so
01:30:01
Speaker
It's tails. Tails it is. And Rock will turn left and go. Yay, it worked! So which way is left? with What do you mean, Tails? Tails is left.
01:30:15
Speaker
He just leaves. He walks back into the top. ah So Tails would be kind of two, as Rock's facing forward, and he's a right or a left choice. He's going the left choice. Gotcha. Towards the towards the east. Okay.
01:30:30
Speaker
I guess so. As you start to move along that passageway, you don't get far before you notice that you can see the space ahead starts to expand slightly.
01:30:42
Speaker
And you hear as strange as you make your way along it ah the dripping of water. um You can sense, Rock, Garrick, Falco at this moment, that what you're entering into is a dead end.
01:30:56
Speaker
Because you can hear almost the sound reverberate very quickly, quite soon, even before you you get sight. And what you do get sight to is ah is quite a small enclosed space.
01:31:10
Speaker
There is a lack of echo here, strangely, because the space is quite filled with the things, with thick spiderwebs along the walls, with a number of eggs sat in the central area of the floor, and a number of rather large, rather hairy, and rather angry-looking spiders.
01:31:33
Speaker
Instantly, they turn and they they they pause, they freeze for a second, before suddenly moving, well, with the intention of moving towards you, as I ask you, are pleased to roll initiative.
01:31:46
Speaker
Yeah, buddy. Low-key, one of the best things I've done in D&D was that just that the whole moment. The whispers of... The Chinese whispers.
01:31:57
Speaker
Oh!
01:32:00
Speaker
I'm all good. oh nice. Oh, sorry, I didn't let roll
01:32:06
Speaker
Alright, I'm flipping out. That's so fucking stupid. Yeah, but now we've got cannon, tails equals left. So we can literally... We're going heads or tails.
01:32:18
Speaker
There's two options, I thought. He's got a coin on him. for um Rock had just given him a coin, so... Made a cannon. Alright, did anyone get 20 or higher? Yes, Garrick got 21.
01:32:28
Speaker
Fucking hell, Garrick. He rolled a natural 20. What did Rock get?
01:32:36
Speaker
20 non-natural. Okay. Well, because there's only there's quite not many of us. and Falco, what did you end up on? 14 for me. Okay. That spider's there.
01:32:48
Speaker
Okay, right. and These spiders turn and you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. These huge arms, thick. i mean Each of their legs are as wide as a hose pipe almost in terms of their size, their hulking size. as They kind of look like they're tending to eggs then quickly turn and the digressions start to like move towards you as you enter on the corner. and You're stuck in a five foot wide...
01:33:14
Speaker
entrance to this small 20 foot by 20 foot area with a slight tail to it. Rocky at the lead, Garrick behind, Falcon behind, Drift behind that, stacked up almost.
01:33:25
Speaker
ah But Garrick, you're the one that gets sense of this quickest and you respond first. What do you want to do? So Garrick would push past Rock yeah yeahp ye and just try and squeeze past.
01:33:39
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You're big. And squeeze on by.
01:33:47
Speaker
yep You should be able to use it past my front then.
01:33:53
Speaker
fucking hell and you should have access to the tail side and then squeeze past that side uh and then from there it uses full 30 feet of movement that spider web that i'm seeing that's literally across uh the one wall to the other before any spiders is that is that a big thick web that i'd have to like hit my morning star through or is it decoration is it decal what what am i seeing thank you for asking because it's a it's there for a reason good and yeah it's it's the the some of it is decal some of it is in the way and this first bit you come across absolutely that bit is quite high it's in the way it's quite thick think of it like the thickness of good old frodo when he gets um somehow strung up by old tree lobe
01:34:41
Speaker
um He shouldn't have because he's a... How did he end up in the air? Did he jump into it? I don't understand. Anyway, and you just need a couple of hank hank through it. I mean, i can if you give me your reaction, I take away your reaction, I'll let you haft through it.
01:34:57
Speaker
hackctor this isn't I know this isn't any part of actual D&D, but um it's more like ah almost like a... You just kind of rip it through, shoulder through, and you're through it. So it's not really an attack, really. Yeah.
01:35:09
Speaker
But if you give me your reaction, then you can power on through. Okay, that's what I do. But I'd make sure that it's, it's ah because I know that rock is substantially taller than me. So I'd arc the Morningstar up and around to create a wide enough opening for everyone.
01:35:26
Speaker
No worries. Yeah, that works fine. Actually, give me your reaction and five additional feet movement just to just to eat that up. yeah So you've got 25 feet, um but you can move through it freely. Absolutely. And then i would pick out the nearest spider, which looks to be the one five foot in front of me.
01:35:43
Speaker
yeah I should explain. Swing. there's four yeah so as you go to say should have explained There's four spiders all kind of huddled around these eggs, one in a kind of tail end to the south, and then three kind of in almost a mini kind of U-ish shape.
01:35:57
Speaker
And you've gone for the central one to to to to wail on. Is that right? That's exactly it um And yeah, the morning star's just coming down. No pretty movements. It's just a straight over the top of the head bonk, i'm aiming for the big old face.
01:36:11
Speaker
Nice. All right, roll to hit. Let's do this for eight. wo Misses flipping it. Scuttles to the side out of the way. You catch one of the legs, but it just boinks off it.
01:36:23
Speaker
Is it just as dark in here? Cause I've moved away from lamplight. Cause he's still within range. So you've still, you're still lit by it. and You can see the shadows. I mean, this is all flavor. You are technically, you still have, you are still lit. You're not a disadvantage.
01:36:38
Speaker
because of line sight. I'm just trying to come up with an excuse as to why Garrick rolled for shit. just That's the end of my go. Garrick will ah reposition himself up. and Not reposition, just move within that one five-footer space to make sure his shield is up and his morningstar moves ah ah towards the lower part of his hip. So he's not in attacking form. He's in defensive formation.
01:37:01
Speaker
All right. Very nice. Thank you very much. Rock. Garrick's just shoved past your front and back and headed into combat in front of you what do you want to do? Yeah, rocks Rock's definitely joining straight in.
01:37:13
Speaker
And as Garak kind of runs in and and kind of goes to the center, Rock will kind of run past him and go, I'll go for the one on tails. And he's going to make his way ah side by side, preferably with Garak there. But he's going to be attacking the spider that is kind of most to where he's facing his left on the on the yeah map, the kind of one to the right.
01:37:37
Speaker
um And he's going to swing down with the torch to start with. So it's an improvised um ah weapon attack. I'm rolling it through as something else because i've got the same proficiency. 17 to hit. Very good. Yeah, that hits. So this is you making use of your tavern brawler feet. Is that right? yeah Exactly Very nice. Yeah, yeah. um He's hitting with the torch.
01:37:56
Speaker
um So... but proficiency with unarmed ah sorry Proficiency with improvised weapons yeah gives me basically well that that extra hit to bonus, but it's only a d4 damage, but it's a torch. So you do you want like is is the damage slightly different? or is it ah it's like For this for now, let's just go do the damage plus one fire damage.
01:38:23
Speaker
Okay. It's only a two. um So obviously three overall. Yep. It fizzles up in its legs. Can I get dragged into it as this body flips over? You also singe and you hear pop two of the eggs that are just below where the spike where you slam down with this with this torch as well. It's gone.
01:38:41
Speaker
Amazing. In which case, kind of with that kind of swing down and and blasting that, he's going to ah place a kind of ah a sideways kick onto the next one ah that's nearest to him for a 17 to hit.
01:38:54
Speaker
That hits. Is this still with the torch or is this a, sorry? so No, this is an unarmed strike now. gotcha yeah yeah it's but It's a bonus action, an unarmed strike. So it's six points of um bludgeoning damage to the next one around.
01:39:07
Speaker
yeah um He's also with the tavern broader feet You can push it back five feet. I'm assuming that it dies anyway, but he's going to try and properly plant power into this kick and blast it back into the wall behind it. Yeah, it's almost like you grab it by one of the, shit, I forgot all the names of the bits of spiders, but the the the neck-ish area, as as you ah tim five the tip and as you, and as you slam it back against the wall, which is directly behind it, splats against it, and and thick black ichor kind of spreads across the ah the wall space so as you kill that one as well.
01:39:37
Speaker
Awesome. I'll move into its space and try and trample on as many eggs as I can to kind of not flank the the final spider, but with those threats ah to to Rock's ah mind dealt with, he's, yeah, he's there scurrying up to the next spider and that's why I'll end my turn, please. Very nice. Thank you very much, Rock. ah Falco, you just hear squelching and squirting and... Oh, not squirting. Anyway, noises from around the corner is the light and the shadows that they cast against the walls around you can give you nothing but the impression of your hero knee-deep in spider guts. What would you like to do?
01:40:11
Speaker
I will rush forward seeing the knight turn the corner. two, three, four, five. At this point here. and i will shout at the spider between um the this one the one that's next to Garrick. yeahp um I'll shout at him ah hey look! Eight legs but no friends! And I'll cast vicious mockery on him.
01:40:41
Speaker
Amazing, right. is i um ah Remind me of what you need from me. It is a wisdom... Sorry, I didn't have it off on anything. Vicious mockery is a wisdom save, yeah, of 13 or higher. ah Wisdom zero. I'm just checking there's nothing that says it can't.
01:41:00
Speaker
Nope, all good. ah It rolled a 12.
01:41:05
Speaker
Cool. So it would fail. takes six points of damage. Nice. Shit. shit You just see one of them, ah all of the many eyes across its face just start to bleed black ick as it just like sits itself down and just very, very slowly and quietly dies on the floor in front of you. Sorry, I cut you off, Falco, but...
01:41:27
Speaker
It just like like sits down like, whole her month and then just bleeds from the eyes and and and stops stops working, basically. like And that was the one between Garrick and Rock. Is that the one the one they'd pinned in? Yes, the one between the both of them, yeah.
01:41:40
Speaker
Yeah, game over, man. And then to finish my move, I will take a knee and say loudly into the cavern,
01:41:52
Speaker
By stone and stars, I endure. And I'll give Bardic Inspiration to you, Garrick. Very good. Very nice. ah Drift is going to wiggle up... You mean Fatinas.
01:42:06
Speaker
ah Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. Drifter's going to wriggle up behind Falco and kind of peer around the corner, but he's not going to do anything. The spiders get a turn to to attack back. It's only one left, and he's going to spin up into the space where his friend has just sat down and stopped working, and he's going to take a bite towards Garrick, as you've been the the harbinger, of or the most obvious harbinger of doom.
01:42:33
Speaker
ah That is a 10 against your AC. Nope. yeah shield is up that's all he's got back around you garrick the spider's just trying to bite you bing off the shield and as a almost an instant reaction i'll bop this one well i'll attempt to blitzkrieg bop wow what does bardic inspiration give me a d20 d10 that you can use is a d10 at the moment It's a D8. I shouldn't think it'll be a D6. It's a D6. Okay, so you can add that. Is it before you know the outcome? Or whenever, isn't it?
01:43:09
Speaker
Pretty much.
01:43:12
Speaker
Any D20 roll? As long as you don't know whether it hits or not, I think. Yeah. yeah Yeah, I'm going to take that now. Okay. Roll a D6. Add it to your score.
01:43:23
Speaker
That's an 11 to hit. Misses. So even with this goodness running through you, it just you you just just swing above it. You haven't hit any of them so far, have you, Garrick? Nope.
01:43:35
Speaker
Okay, cool. Rock, your turn. You've just seen Garrick wildly swinging at these spiders. Maybe it's the shadows. Maybe it's the darkness. He seems pretty impotent at the moment. Your turn. Impotent. Yes. um rock is going to will i have seen the one that just cried to death cry to death like have i ah does it have i just seen it die i know oh yeah yeah you're looking directly at it that was your next i know that it's just kind of yeah okay so he's going to pull back a kind of a fist on that see that happen kind of look a bit confused and then try and twat the torch between the eyes of the
01:44:13
Speaker
the the next spider, I guess, for a 15 to hit. Yep, that hits. Roll your damage. Okay, just a taster, a taster. D4. It's a one. Plus one for the fire damage, because it I'll give you that for it being a torch. Yep, it just, it does the same. Flips over, all the legs curl up into itself, and it has died before out of initiative order, as all threat has been resolved.
01:44:36
Speaker
And you're left in a rather small cave with a couple of eggs on the floor and some spiderwebs and four corpses. Job's done. um What would do you want to do with your... um What you'nna do you want now?
01:44:51
Speaker
Wow, you guys are amazing! This one just cried to death. um ah I've not seen that happen before. What about the boy? The one that Farco killed.
01:45:05
Speaker
oh Where's the boy? oh yeah. Gareth, do you want to give me an investor you you want to give an investigation? I assume you're investigating. ah mean, you can all give me one if you want.
01:45:16
Speaker
you want to try and see if you can find...
01:45:20
Speaker
yes Yeah, I'll... but I mean, those that want to look for the boy, obviously. Yeah, Garrick would look. He's just not good at investigations. He got a 12. He's going to be opening up the eggs as he's investigating. He's literally just ripping into them and kind of pulling them open. I think with my investigation, Garrick's just kind of poking them with the butt of his Morningstar.
01:45:47
Speaker
right. Um, as not to get his armor dirty. Fair, fair. As you look around, the eggs are too small for a human boy. I know that. Yeah. Yeah. But you're looking around and you peel apart some of the, the cobwebs and, and s sp thick spider, thick spiderwebs and around what seemed to be smaller spiders or rats or things that have, or bits of meat that have been hauled out of the kitchen from prior, prior, but there's no sign here of the, of the boy at all, actually.
01:46:15
Speaker
Maybe we should have gone heads. ah Man, we could always... i mean, let's just... And Rock's going to stamp on like the remaining eggs. Yeah, let's let's go ahead. um ah do Does anyone... i mean, do we...
01:46:33
Speaker
Squire, Drift, could you take a bit of spider as kind of like proof for us? um Just, I don't know, but grab a leg or or or something and just just hold onto it for now that we can take back up and then perhaps we should, and Rock kind of motions back the way they came.
01:46:49
Speaker
How many? How many? How many legs? Yeah. ah Well, each of them has got eight legs, so that's...
01:47:02
Speaker
I don't know. ah ah i don't know. You choose. I'll take one of each. They'll know the difference. And he's going to go and collect four legs and go and kind of kind of snap them off, like almost like, imagine like crabs.
01:47:18
Speaker
You kind of crunch and it just kind of carapace piece kind of comes out. And he's going to take four and going be collecting them. They're quite long at this rate. They're almost like spears in Little Drift's arms and hands. And he's there like, oh yeah, yeah. But he's whispering everything now.
01:47:31
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, And he's going snap and pull up, pull them up. And he's to walk like a bundle of bundle of sticks under his arms. Like the eel was prior to this. He's going to biceps for days by the end of this.
01:47:42
Speaker
And he's going to wander up with these four and legs. are protrat oh Just following in behind. uh, Rocco, I mentioned it by you, Amy on crushing all the eggs. Is that you mentioned crush the remaining eggs? I assume. Oh yeah. We were told, that we were explicitly told to destroy all the eggs. So that's what he's going to try and do. Okay.
01:48:01
Speaker
Okay. So you managed to crush the rest of them, Garak, Falco, Wild Rock and Drift are kind of completing the mission. is there anything you guys are ah doing in in that time before you make your way heads?
01:48:15
Speaker
ah
01:48:19
Speaker
um if ah If there's any spider goo on Garak's armour, I'll...
01:48:27
Speaker
I'll stop it. It's a night. It's a night. Sorry. Let me polish and I'll just get a rag. I'm a pocket. I'll spit on the rag and start shining, shining with the chest plate.
01:48:39
Speaker
Yes. Uh, thank you for polishing.
01:48:46
Speaker
Right. Moving on. You've got some on your helmet. Uh, Maybe after we get out, we need to head to heads first, and then you can polish my head ah helmet. ah oh Amazing.
01:49:02
Speaker
um I just go forward into danger to death. Right, who's who's heading this... who's heading this ah No, wrong use of word. Who's going first?
01:49:14
Speaker
If no one else has got a torch, our fellow's done kind of crushing and crashing, and it looks like that's that's everything kind of around here that's that's worthy of that, then he'll make his way back.
01:49:24
Speaker
Okay. yeah So Rock followed by... Garrick. It's the same formation. Same mod. Okay, right. We're just snaking this, like snake on a Nokia. Yep. yep Cool, cool, cool. Right. So we get to the point where we return back to our initial position ah before we turn tails. I'm heading heads now down south through the rather narrow entrance where, especially Rock and Garrick, you're going to have to turn very much sideways and do the kind of a crab shuffle to get through. um I'm going to need you to give me an...
01:49:53
Speaker
I'm not scratching my armor, right? No, no, you've got room, but it's quite mossy, so it's going to be safe against armor. I might take longer than Rock Rock just to make sure that nothing is grazing my armor.
01:50:05
Speaker
Like very specific poses to try and make it through without touching rock against my beautiful chrome spit-shined armor.
01:50:18
Speaker
Okay, so with that in mind, ah both of you... yeah Valkyrie you're not going to need it as much Drift definitely won't need it I'm going need a check. We need some kind of athletics or acrobatics check ah take to shimmy yourself past.
01:50:35
Speaker
Garrick, there's going to be a number. ah There's a DC to get through that getting stuck. Don't be scratching my armour. Don't be scratching my armour. There's a higher DC for scratching as well. Okay, so um there's two for you. Right, Rock, ah we'll go with you first. um Falco, you might as well roll one as well, actually. q are human shape don't You aren't you?
01:50:55
Speaker
Yes. I'm going to let my one view as well. Yep. Right. ah Rock, what did you get? 16. Yeah, absolutely fine. You managed to get through bit at a bit of a moss, bit of lichen, and you threw onto the other side.
01:51:09
Speaker
ah What about you, Garrick? 15. fifteen Oh, meats and beats. Very good. oh Without ah blemish upon you, ah you managed to know we go take your time, though. Garrick, you take your time.
01:51:24
Speaker
Rock is waiting for a number of minutes. I'm holding everyone up. It is very much like you're trying to slot that final puzzle piece in. like It's that. He's taking a moment.
01:51:35
Speaker
He'll look at the shape that he needs to get himself into yeah and then slowly just walk sideways like a crab through it. Very nice. Okay. ah Falco, how about yourself? Is it 21?
01:51:47
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. You literally just walk pretty much straight and you're like, you just stood behind Garrick waiting, but probably more than happy waiting. And um Drift does the same behind you. He's happy, just kind of twiddling along, happy to be there near the light ah through this narrow area. And as you get through the narrow area, the the space starts to, again, split.
01:52:11
Speaker
But luckily here, you can... You can make out the end of one of them and therefore you know one of them is not an option. Off to the um to the heads, you've got a dead end and then to the tails, well, to the tails, you get a very different message.
01:52:28
Speaker
You get a very different picture. Rock, let me actually, you know, I'll just quickly search it. I'm looking for the torch distance D&D for the amount of light 20 foot radius. Oh, I'll be able to tell you that.
01:52:44
Speaker
Hang on. is
01:52:50
Speaker
I thought it was 30. Never mind. Never mind.
01:52:57
Speaker
well you getting away twenty right i thought it stay no mind and mind D&D 2024, making life easier for the players.
01:53:09
Speaker
Well, it used to be something slightly different. um i can I can look it up for you. Do. but Yes. It'll take me to me a little bit of time. Won't take me long. I'm going to put Bet down on 30.
01:53:22
Speaker
I put 2020. I think bright and further 20 dim. So 40 foot overall. That's my guess. 15 bright, 30 dim. thirty dim I bet I bet um inspiration on it.
01:53:37
Speaker
Ah, she. Wait, I can't take. Oh, no. OK, whatever. Yeah. Are you looking up? Well, this is exciting. and I now need to know. I mean, I'm too invested now.
01:53:49
Speaker
I tried to mute myself to avoid the the frantic clicking ah that I am currently undertaking. Oh, that's what you're doing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Frantically clicking. Violently. And I'm in the wrong section. I mean, ah we're waiting. We're baited breath.
01:54:05
Speaker
Come on. equipment There it is. Come on. You've got open i up your adventuring gear. Open up the incognito tab. game Like you guys know the Wikipedia game where you had to try and find to get yourself from one place to another place.
01:54:16
Speaker
And you just by clicking, it says here that a torch burns for an hour, casting bright light in a 20 foot radius and dim light. Eat my balls for a further 20 feet. So that's 40 feet of dim light, 20 feet of bright light.
01:54:32
Speaker
Very good. go Gobble, gobble. I'm proud of you. Have you ever tried playing the Wikipedia game on Pornhub though?
01:54:42
Speaker
we have try that What, with Wikipedia-related? No, no, no, no. You just get given a site, like a video, and you have to try and work back from it to try and find the original source.
01:54:55
Speaker
It's a game I've just made up. I think it's fabulous. First one to Disneyland. I'll put some in the chat.
01:55:02
Speaker
It's like some geo-guesser, but we're porn hub. Yeah, like, what three words, but um what three fingers? We need the location. What three stains? what Oh, God.
01:55:17
Speaker
and So, Rock, you are you are first through the gap.
Battle with Spiders and Strategic Moves
01:55:24
Speaker
ah It's lost all meaning. You're first through the gap, and...
01:55:29
Speaker
What you first see, what you first lay eyes upon like I said, a dead end to the to the heads and to the tails to your left.
01:55:41
Speaker
The space kind of opens out and widens slightly. You instantly see a met, kind of of the space opens up to 15, 20 foot wide and a number of entrances and exits off to the right hand side. To the left is one long moss-lichen covered wall.
01:55:56
Speaker
You firstly notice within the miasmatic mess of spiderwebs that hang from the ceilings and the walls from this from the floor, a trio of spiders appear out of the out of the darkness between them.
01:56:11
Speaker
But a further scuttling noise, you hear further... um further further legs on floor and you can see even through the dim darkness beyond the the dim light of the torch the twinkle of larger eyes far far to the tails i need all three of you to roll initiative yet again as we are through our second form of combat um that's you can't say that seriously can you i'm
01:56:46
Speaker
I'm so here for it, though. I'm so here for it. I know. It's canon. It's canon.
01:56:53
Speaker
It is awful canon, but that's a that's what it is now. Fuck me. I'm rolling like shite. Okay. Right. Did anyone get more than 20? Good. Anyone get 15 or more? I'm imagining... three to death, I mean.
01:57:15
Speaker
Imagining Rock was higher. You haven't got higher than that, have you, Farco? no, no he's got th um Okay, higher than 10?
01:57:25
Speaker
Good. I'm just um waiting on Garrick, really, aren't I? Garrick, what'd you get? Five. Hooray! You got this, bro. durk It's like the WD-40 is dried up from my first roll of natural 20.
01:57:42
Speaker
My armour is seized. That's it. Game over. Right. um I'm going to leave the light level where it currently is because it's based off rock's perspective. So rock, as you move, light will move.
01:57:54
Speaker
and But at the moment it's all kind of off from you. um Through spiders, you have the sense, your ironically spider senses is that enemies abound. There are more of in the darkness that you cannot yet see.
01:58:08
Speaker
what would you like to do?
01:58:12
Speaker
Okay, so ah seeing this and seeing that thing in the distance, he's just going to kind of peer and go, hello? And he's going to kind of step forwards towards kind of the webbing to just just another five foot further forwards um just to kind of bring himself a little bit more into the space.
01:58:32
Speaker
And if he can't see anything extra, he'll take himself another five feet forwards into the space. okay your first five feet forward gives you a little bit more of an insight you now notice that about 10 feet away from you to your right there's another cave entrance to something else and then not far beyond that again to the right there's another one you still can't see anything oh sorry you can because you've just opened up there's another in the entry in the cave entrance to your To your right, the first one, the instant one, there is another spider there. So there's now four that you you have eyes on, but it's not the set you thought you could see in the distance so far.
01:59:09
Speaker
Okay, absolutely fine. um With that, he'll kind of take all that in and kind of nod a little bit and go, right, okay. I'm just going to put the torch here. and I'm just going to drop the torch kind of at my feet. Mm-hmm.
01:59:22
Speaker
And he is going to, those that are behind him will see him kind of make these relatively fluid movements um where he's going to kind of, yeah, yeah effectively imagine like ah like a ah like a water bender, if you like, just kind of spinning them kind of around a little bit before he he settles himself in in ah a fighting ready position.
01:59:45
Speaker
um And I'm going to take the dodge action. Nice. Nice. And I'm just going to, there because there's nothing else that I can do there.
01:59:56
Speaker
In fact, no, do you know what? He'll he'll make another five foot forwards um and yeah, hold his position there with the dodge action. Okay. with that final five foot forwards before you go into the dodge action, you do make out something which puts the hairs on the back of your neck on edge. Again, your pupils dilate and you do take, even though you're in this, in this Zen like state of defense and preparation, you do, it takes your breath away. Your heart,
02:00:28
Speaker
speeds up yet another beat as the light just twinkles upon the carapace and body of this enormous spider, the back end, it seems, its legs. However, the the ah the other spider's legs are hosepipe thickness. These limbs are like limbs of a tree in terms of its thickness.
02:00:50
Speaker
You still can't quite make out the rest of its body, but you just see size, from your perspective, it seems like it's facing away from you at the moment, ah or is it, it's just on the edge of your vision as you fall into that defensive stance. I mean, you do have the option, you sell the movement, so you can continue to move forward if you if you choose to, if you want to.
02:01:12
Speaker
It's difficult kind of seeing that. I know that there's several in front of me. I know that optimally it makes sense to do something different and this might not be a good idea. um But if I've dropped this ah torch at my feet, does it have any effect on any of the webbing around me at all?
02:01:26
Speaker
as I mean, we're talking about six seconds. Yeah, no, it it's it's all low and you can kind of walk through it at this point. It's all quite low to the ground or on the ceiling. It's all kind of quite artistic, not artistic, but um it's for the it's the for the vibes.
02:01:40
Speaker
um yeah There's nothing purposely blocking you because this is a thoroughfare they use to move around. You do also notice a couple in the distance, a couple of eggs start to sprout out of the ground. Not sprouting, out exploding, but just you can see eggs in the ground in the distance as well. This seems to be the the major warren, if you will.
02:01:59
Speaker
Okay. um Player Will wants to... be like, let's just deal with as many of these as we can. But I think character rock probably wouldn't go charging it and trying to stamp on as many as possible, especially with that little bit of fear of seeing big boy spider.
02:02:17
Speaker
um So yeah, I'll, I'll hold position there. All right. Falco, you're up next. You just see, ah or you just see but probably just Garak's ass as he moves through ah this tight space. And that's kind of it.
02:02:33
Speaker
Okay. um how Sorry, how did Rock move forward, Will? Was it like as if he was moving into combat, or was it like he was just continuing down the cave? ah he He kind of, as he's seen these things, you would have noticed that that the light would have changed because he's kind of dropped it. i't I don't remember if I said anything or not.
02:02:51
Speaker
um Oh, no, i did you heard him say, hello, kind of further out or so. But if you can see, with the light at his feet, there might be shadows on the form moving that a little bit more, but... Yeah, he's cautiously entered the space.
02:03:03
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, the other sorry, the other big thing, Falco, you would notice is that he's no longer holding the torch. You can see his form is silhouetted and he doesn't have the torch in his hand and he's doing something else. So unless you want to make a perception check, and he something has definitely changed. Your passive would give you that, that something is different in here.
02:03:24
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Well, kind of sensing that there's there's a bigger space and that I'm just about to take the plunge going forward, like fully expecting Garak to lead the charge.
02:03:34
Speaker
um being Being my half-link size, I can move through spaces of a creature larger than me. So I'm going to run through his legs, maybe maybe brushing a little bit above my head, but I'm going to run through his space. No,
02:03:51
Speaker
no it's Ganon. Run through his space.
02:03:55
Speaker
Getting the tails and the head. I'm going to scream. Roman helmet. I'm going scream, for stone and stars! And as I go out into the cavern, expecting, like, character be on my shoulder, I'm going to stop about five foot short of rock about there seeing all the eyes glittering in the firelight. Yeah.
02:04:22
Speaker
And I'll say, oh, shit. And I will cast a pain-of-the-art spell for you, DM. But for I'm going to cast Bane the three spiders closest to rock. all right, just remind us of Bane again. Legend.
02:04:38
Speaker
So up to up to three creatures of your choice that you can see within range must make a charisma saving throw. if they fail that save... then whenever they make an attack roll or saving throw before the spell ends, they have to subtract a d4 from the attack roll or the save. see why it's a kick in the dick. No, that's absolutely fine.
02:04:56
Speaker
Not problem. What's the what's the DC for those? It's a 13 charisma. Okay, two of them fail. One of them passes with an 18. So the one that is... found my fucking tab.
02:05:08
Speaker
The one that's closest is the one that passes, almost like it wasn't fully formed properly, as you said, the first one. Second... I don't know. but That's how imagining it. First one passes, so it doesn't have the effect. The second two fail. So it's a D4 for each... um Yeah, whenever they attack, we roll a D4 and then that gets subtracted from the attack roll. Do you roll or do I roll it?
02:05:31
Speaker
or You roll it, think. Okay, cool. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, no problem. If they survive that long. Fab? and then And then to finish, i'll just I'll just tuck into the corner if you're ready with my smaller size, just so there's space for...
02:05:46
Speaker
hopefully back up to come through. Perfect. Not a problem. Not a problem. All right.
02:05:52
Speaker
You rock and only you rock notice as Falco huddles himself forward and then back into a corner. You hear him, his his hustle up and then his his retreat almost.
02:06:03
Speaker
um See this bristle in those thick tree like limbs as this goliath of a spider faces a goliath of of a human like as this twists round kind of moving like at moments too fast and then also too slow at the same time as its limbs kind of twitch and move at a speed that doesn't seem to fit its form it kind of hulks forward And it's huge body and carapace clicks forward and it moves and much with that with ah with a lumbering speed, but then pauses for a second.
02:06:45
Speaker
And then almost instantaneously clicks and spider climbs sideways up the wall and onto the ceiling. So it's now hanging off the wall and then moves forward by 15 foot. yeah So it moves above the large...
02:07:01
Speaker
Spider boss, if you will, is on the ceiling moving towards you, but moving up the wall and onto the ceiling has taken up a decent size of its movement. Just to give you an idea, the ceiling is about 20, 25 foot high, depending on the rivets and divots and in the ceiling. So it's ah it can't hit you from there, but we'll have to drop down to to get to you, which it may like do.
02:07:23
Speaker
Thanks for those nightmares. That's a... i I know. I need to know piss myself now. um Even though I knew what was happening and I... Yeah, it's not very nice. Anyway, I hate spiders. Why do I set this up when I don't like spiders? Anyway.
02:07:37
Speaker
Slugs have stolen the chef. Oh, no Yeah. work A couple of Butterflies.
02:07:45
Speaker
This red-breasted Warren... Robin is still... Oh, fucked it. Never mind. Never mind. Right. Okay. That's pretty... red-breasted Robin i was trying to say but i said a red-breasted woman was going full Monty Python again biggoth dickoth right um fucking hell Garrick it's over to you it's your turn ah you can you can see everything that I've just described um everything that Rock can see as well so far as you step gleaming armor out of the gap So Garrick will move full 30 feet ah towards the biggest spider in the room.
02:08:23
Speaker
yeah So that should take him 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. Oh, that's close. and i' thirty oh that's close Boom. He's not, he's going to, he's going to limit that actually and step directly in front of rock, rock, uh, five, Um, so he's in leading the pack and as he does so, and he walks forward in that metallic sort of clank, clank, clank, looks like Steiner from fun fancy nine. Jesus, um, clank, clank, clank, uh,
02:08:55
Speaker
you start seeing this, these um kind of golden specks just kind of flying off of his armor. And as he reaches his position, he bows his head and he places his morning star against his, the crest on his armor, which yeah as I said in the previous episode, it's the triangle ah for Tina's.
02:09:16
Speaker
um And as he puts his morning star on it, almost completes the kind of visual look of it. And ah for a moment, there's this golden kind of push of light outwards as everyone within 30 feet of me three creatures so let's go for rock rock falco and myself are blessed by the holiness of vatilis so we're talking so you can sorry go ahead No, you got it. so So what that means is whenever a target makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, which lasts one minute, the target adds 1d4 to the attack roll or save, baby. Hell yeah.
02:10:00
Speaker
Good old paladin. Awesome. Anything else? Anything else? That's it, Garrick. Fantastic. Right, it's the spider's turn. So...
02:10:12
Speaker
They're going to... the scuttle ensues and the smaller spider, it's not the boss spider, boss spider-man who has a different initiative order, are going to make their way towards you.
02:10:25
Speaker
Firstly, out the shadows at Garrick off your right shoulder, you feel this the the presence of another spider as it enters out of the darkness towards yourself, between yourself and rock.
02:10:37
Speaker
The one that's near you, Garrick, doesn't move. I'm to all their movements first. ah The other spiders encroach upon Rock and upon... Oh, I moved the wrong one. Upon Rock and upon Garrick if they can. If they can't, they're going to climb the walls, the ceiling, etc. to get near you if they can.
02:10:57
Speaker
20, 15, 20, 20, 5, 10, i have ten fifteen twenty to over thirty that one's on the wall and and now that the torch is down rock Again, it casts these flickering, sharp, dancing shadows on the walls as from the distance beyond more spiders approach out of the darkness.
02:11:18
Speaker
and more four more spiders approach there's one two three four five six seven eight nine spiders that you can see currently and big boss man spider in and around you this is an infestation this is an infestation around you only three of them have uh the capacity well oh no my lots of them do let's go for this all right uh garrick Let's go.
02:11:45
Speaker
You ready for this? Yep. Garak's used to this. This is why he put himself in the front. He's got his shield out. Morningstar against his chest because he's just cast blast. Blast. Blast. I wish. Bless.
02:11:56
Speaker
And he's used to being on the front lines of any military battle given okay his place. Unfortunately, the two that are going to attack you get advantage. That's okay. Because you are flanked by them.
02:12:09
Speaker
That's okay. I have the power of Matinas with me. They will miss. You do. One of them is a natural 20. The second one is a 9. nine So I'm assuming that it's just a 9 that's going to hit you.
02:12:22
Speaker
Yeah. A natural 20 and a 9. No, Sorry.
02:12:28
Speaker
that no sorry i did both create i sped roll so did both creatures so the nine will miss yeah the natural 20 that'll hit i was just i just ah so it's an actual 20 and a four and then it was a nine and and a two so they were my armor classes are ridiculously high 20 so in that makes sense now though 20 yep jesus wouldn't be one of the ones that i cast bane on by any chance with it Natural 20 is an auto in... It would have been, actually, as well. So thank you for that. um Yeah, it would have been that. Thank you. Remind me of that, please, um Charlie. because Yeah, of course. Thanks.
02:13:09
Speaker
um So the natural 20... Annoyingly, this has a really set damage because they are little shithouse creatures. So you're going to take two piercing damage...
02:13:21
Speaker
yep And then could you make a constitution saving throw? Okay. With a d4? With a d4, yeah. I'm going to need that I'm rolling shit. Nine. Nine.
02:13:38
Speaker
ah nine Me to beat. You feel this this intense clotting in your blood as the bite comes into your arm. And then it just, it just you manage to like flex it out. One, two. And then Votinus gives you a hand on that third and the um the the the feeling goes away. This feeling of numbness in your arm dissipates and goes.
02:14:01
Speaker
That's the end of that saved on blessed, just as heads Pardon? Pardon? need to get that you're concentrating on bless aren't you oh thank you yep d20 damn
02:14:16
Speaker
uh let's go that gift for the spider oh jesus christ Oh, for fuck's sake. Six. What is my rolls tonight?
02:14:27
Speaker
It's gone. It's gone. but It's gone. Bless is gone. Bless is gone. Sorry, guys. you didn't get a chance to use it. That was awful. Rock, it's over to you. These are just two straight rolls against you. I'm dodging. so They are at disadvantage. Thank you.
02:14:43
Speaker
So it's the first one is a six. That's the disadvantage. Second one is 17. That is with Will hit, yes. Okay, that's one piercing damage, and then can you also make a con save, please?
02:14:57
Speaker
I certainly can. Come on Natural 20.
02:15:04
Speaker
Did you get it? Oh, shit. What did you get? He fucking did. He got the natural 20. Did you get it afterwards, Rani?
02:15:14
Speaker
I mean, yeah, you you don't feel a thing. You just have this creature nip nip your ankle almost and you shrug it off pretty much. Fabulous. ah That is that. Oh, there's a third sorry there is a third creature on New Rock um and it's going to be with disadvantage. Good thing you rolled. You you went with them the dodge this.
02:15:32
Speaker
and That's going to be a 12 against your AC. Doesn't hit, fortunately. ah Okay, now that's it. Wow, that was a hell of a play going for dodge. Man, dodge at level one is the way to go. It worked. Fuck yeah, that is the way to go to keep you alive because that would have fucked you.
02:15:48
Speaker
Fabulous, cool. That's the end of the spider's turn. It's top of the round. Rock. You are almost surrounded. Not as surrounded or as fucked as Garrick, but you're pretty surrounded. What do you want to do? Okay, so what I would love to do is something ah using some more of my gear.
02:16:09
Speaker
ah There's a lot of them around. like he's he he's's He's ready to kind of deflect and and attack, and he's seeing more and more and more and more of these, and he's playing through his mind, kind of him setting out and that the kind of ah any teachings that he can to help him through this, and he's struggling.
02:16:25
Speaker
ah So he's going to reach into his pack and pull out a flask of oil um that is there to help with his torch.
Igniting the Giant Spider and Chaos
02:16:36
Speaker
And what he's going to do... is he's going to use his action to lob it. um I mean, where I can lob it is going to be difficult. Ideally, i don't think I can move further forwards.
02:16:52
Speaker
The spider's on the ceiling, isn't it? What size is the spider out of interest? ah Large. It's large. Okay. ah Dousing of space. Can I throw this? I'm just looking at... There's oil as an option, obviously, the adventuring gear. for Clay flask holds a pint.
02:17:10
Speaker
ah As an action, you can splash the oil in this flask onto a creature within five feet or throw it up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. Yeah. making a ranged attack against a creature or object, treating the oil as an improvised weapon, which works for you, obviously.
02:17:28
Speaker
On a hit, the target is covered in oil. If the target takes any fire damage before the oil dries, after one minute, the target takes an additional five fire damage for the burning oil. You can pour it on the ground around you, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, two rounds at last for improvised weapon.
02:17:41
Speaker
This is a fucking great shot, Will. I'm loving it. I think... the biggest threat in the room, isn't it? The big boy on the ceiling. He's going to lob it up at the spider in the ceiling. I've rolled 17 to hit it with the flask.
02:18:00
Speaker
Okay. ah Yeah, it hits. It hits and... It won't ignite. No. um But it will hopefully just spatter it in oil. And it's on the ceiling as well, isn't it?
02:18:12
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm going to make it ah do a dexterity saving throw to c see if it can continue to hold on to the... I think it's only fair, um given you just twatted it with a ah barrel of ale.
02:18:23
Speaker
Yeah, it manages to... one One, two legs drop off, I think quickly they grab back on, and it's still um on the ceiling. But it is doused in oil. Awesome. So Rock will kind of, having done that and smashed it on that one on the ceiling, will just kind of say, ah if someone can just get the torch on the big one, it'll set it alight.
02:18:44
Speaker
And he's going to take it because he's kind of panicking a little bit now. don't know why he almost went into gel there. But he's going to take a kick. Off to the side. Bonus action. Unarm strike. Any of them. Probably the one that hit him um as a kind of a reaction. He's just going to kind of Actually, he won't do a kick. he'll just do He's throwing that with one up with the with the hand he's kind of thrown it with. He's going to direct it into a palm-fisted punchy punch.
02:19:07
Speaker
Okay, we'll do it. Okay. Which will be... just speed roll. Oh, might not hit. 14 to hit. That hits.
02:19:19
Speaker
five points of bludgeoning damage. It splats against the floor below you. Dead. Amazing. ah Do I want to back? I probably don't.
02:19:30
Speaker
The torch is probably one space behind me as well. It is. I'll take it. No, I'll take two attacks of opportunity if I move away, so I'm not going to. I will stay where I am now.
02:19:42
Speaker
um The torch is probably within reach of me to to try and grab it if I can on my next turn, but I don't have the action to. so Yep. Okie dokie. right, Falco, you've just seen this literal swarm, this plague of...
02:19:56
Speaker
uh this skitter for for um a noun of of of of spiders come forward and this huge fucker come on the ceiling towards you uh as well though you are hidden in your little alcove and none of them have taken notice of you this is what's approached you what would you like to do my my focus would go to the the big motherfucker on the ceiling and i would like be um pressed up against the wall like trying to push myself away the big, big motherfucker. And I will, looking up at that, looking up at that, I will cast a vicious mockery on that the big old creepy crawling on the ceiling that just got hit by the oil.
02:20:36
Speaker
Nice. um So it's a wisdom save of 13 or higher. Okie dokie. Let me just go to roll on for that. 13 or higher. It has rolled a natural one.
02:20:49
Speaker
yeah It fails. So it would be... it got a two overall. It's five points of damage and it gets of psychic damage and it gets disadvantage on this next attack roll. Very nice. Very nice. Excellent. That's huge.
02:21:03
Speaker
That's huge. Only you, Falco, can notice that a few of the eyes twitch kind of awkwardly and a few of them stay shut as a result of what you've just ah said and done to it. Nice. Anything else we're to do? You still hold up against that kind of northern wall. You're staying there. You're moving.
02:21:21
Speaker
I'm going to take a step backwards, okay actually. Yeah, away from said danger. Okie dokie. Very nice. Thank you very much for that. Falco, the spider that you've just um doused in oil and then viciously mocked's turn, and it's going to scuttle up over the ceiling and then flip down, landing between their two thereto spider bones.
02:21:48
Speaker
sisters, brothers, whatever, and then it's going to take a bite towards Rock. It's going to have stepped over ah the kind of plane of of human, well, kind of bipeds versus spiders at this point, and then turn, landing, and it's going to attack Rock. It doesn't get advantage because I'm i'm arguing it's more in the space above you.
02:22:08
Speaker
so it's just going to get straight a straight roll against you here. Does that mean it's negated with the vicious mockery disadvantage? or No, ah yeah, I was arguing it didn't. No, it's rolling with disadvantage because because it's um it's not actually in that flanking position because why would it? It wouldn't knowingly go into that position. it'd go in the next nearest space and then attack you.
02:22:30
Speaker
um So it's going to be a five against your armor class. Thank God for that. Nope. First one. It's second attack though. Nope. it's an 11 against your armor class nope fuck okay cool uh it misses dicks and balls okay fine uh that is a spidery turn now garrick you've just seen this motherfucker land behind rock um you're still surrounded by spidery bitches what do you want to do
02:23:03
Speaker
I'm going to hit the nearest one to me, the spidery bitches with a morning star just straight down for a Jesus Christ. It almost looked like a one for a 23 to attack for the first time tonight.
02:23:15
Speaker
Hell yeah, that hits. Roll that damage, baby. That's going to be a five points of bludgeoning. I assume bludgeoning damage with a morning star.
02:23:27
Speaker
then We all got one hit HP. let's just Let me just tell you that now. So if you if you if you break the AC, you're hitting it. Which makes it even more embarrassing that this is the first time I've hit tonight. Well, it's consider them more agile than they are armored. so they The power of Atinas compels you.
02:23:43
Speaker
That's it. that' That's the end of my go because I've still got spiders around me, haven't I? You do. You do. Done. you do Cool. Lovely. All right. Thank you very much. Garrick. Spiders. The two that you just picked. Oh, no. Let's do the movement first. Otherwise, I'll i'll lose track of who the fuck I'm i'm attacking here.
02:23:59
Speaker
Right. 5, 10, 15, On the ceiling 20, below you, 25, the one you just killed 30. off on the ceiling, though, to your south, but on the ceiling is another spider. 15, 20, 25. 5, 10,
02:24:12
Speaker
five ten fifteen twenty I know it's going to sit behind you. It can't quite get there. This one's going to crawl up the walls. from fifteen twenty to divide thirty They're kind of stacked up. It's annoyingly wide space here for these these guys. Bless them.
02:24:28
Speaker
ah Firstly, we're going to deal with the ones around Garrick. and The first is going to be an attack advantage because it's um a flanking.
02:24:42
Speaker
It's going to be a 17 to hit. misses i assumed it was gonna miss you heavily armored bitch uh one very heavy armored he's just very weak as well i'm gonna roll for three speed rolled because um they're all gonna uh does a 17 hit your ac nope then the other two are going to miss anyway uh everything clang clang they all hit you but you literally just like slow man turn around and You know, they're just nipping at your pauldrons, you're nipping at your ankle, your ankley bits, that everything's armoured, it just nothing's getting through. One of the hits you managed to clank off, but nothing's getting through to you at all as this cacophony of attacks miss.
02:25:24
Speaker
uh rock only one aims for you it seems like the light glistening off this very well polished armor seems to draw most of the attention of the spiders there's only one that's really aiming for you here and it's going to be a nine against your ac nope man google d twenty is a bag of shit i'm not a single 20 yet they've all missed which is really disappointing He can't move anymore.
02:25:51
Speaker
He can't move anymore. right I mean, that's all my, I mean, yeah, but you got one roll. I got like 10 rolls and they all fucking, anyway. Right. Um, rock, these useless spiders, you're surrounded. What you want I am surrounded. ah The big boy lady spider um that's dropped down.
02:26:09
Speaker
Have they dropped down right next to my torch? Correct. Oh, shit. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. and No, yeah, it's not a problem to try and get them to to to fudge it. But if I can grab a hold of said torch, then that's what I'm going to do.
02:26:25
Speaker
ah Knowing that I've thrown oil in this thing's face. um Torch is kind of on the floor within five feet. me If it's not, i'm going to need to kind of obviously struggle to get it, but that's my intention. it's Yeah, I get you. it's within It's within five feet, but the question is, what kind of, what kind of are we aiming just to pick it up?
02:26:46
Speaker
basically pick it up and just jab it in the face of ah creature in front of me. There's like a a roll to hit kind of thing. I mean, technically it's because it's a large creature. it's in the, it, it,
02:26:59
Speaker
It's within the character, the, the, the monster's space, if you will. Yeah. That's, yeah, that's what I'm struggling with. So I've got, okay, I've got an out, I've got an out, I've got an out. Okay. Give me a, be bee be bee be bee give me a, ah, fuck. It's going have to be an only if it's into your wheelhouse here. it Well, I do apologize. I don't actually, cause really good at, um, it's going to be an, I'll go do a mini skill challenge to see if you can get this out.
02:27:25
Speaker
So the first thing is you've got to dodge in between the legs um without getting hit. So could you give me a dexterity? Let me to write some DCs down first, otherwise it's fucking pointless otherwise. Okay. um Firstly, going dodge between the legs. This thing is quite high in the air, actually, even for your goliath form.
02:27:41
Speaker
and You're going to dodge between the legs to get to the torch, firstly. So could you give me a dexterity? ah Sorry, no, an acoratics check. Or athletics if you really want it, but know you want acoratics. Definitely.
02:27:51
Speaker
Yeah. 19. Mm-hmm. Okay, you're between the two legs and he gets the torch. You pick it up. But as you notice now, as you're in this position, one of the legs has come up and you realize how sharp these legs are. And one of them is aiming to come down at you. Yeah, I know it's not its turn, but give me some flavor here. So you're going to have to make a dexterity saving throw to dive out of the way of this.
02:28:12
Speaker
So could you give me a dexterity throw? Exactly the same, 19. Lovely, absolutely fine. You dive back. Could you now roll to hit... As you then mid-air, mid-fall backwards towards Falco, kind moving back towards that angle where Drift and Falco is, you throw this torch end over end towards the main bodice of this spider.
02:28:36
Speaker
Okay, 15 to hit. The torch flies, and for a second you think the flame's almost almost gone out with the speed at which you've thrown it, and just as it clangs against the body, there's a moment of stillness. Your body slams to the floor.
02:28:51
Speaker
You slide a foot or two darkness darkness.
02:28:58
Speaker
And then an eruption of light as this suddenly huge space and this shrieking noise seems to echo out across the space as the creature instantaneously takes set of damage from the, from the flames. Uh, thank you for going along with that. Um, and may making, thank you for letting know, I thought, Hey, fuck it. Why not? You wanted it.
02:29:20
Speaker
and So you manage, yeah, this thing is now illuminated and suddenly now the space around you has again burst into light, almost where the flame was dissipating and and and and and becoming lesser and lesser.
02:29:34
Speaker
The space is now lit. The dim light is bright light. The the darkness is now dim light. it's It's almost, it's a huge flame basically and the space is illuminated. The spider is now on fire, but still alive.
02:29:47
Speaker
and very nice you are now ah you are gonna be prone um just for your next turn use half my speed to to stand up on this turn and then if I can use my bonus action yeah and I'm straight because it's a monk ah you can yep hit up this is where monks are completely overpowered at level one because of the the basically two attacks action economy that's fucking brilliant um It's only a 10 and I was going for the big spider as well just to kind of hit the fucking thing whilst it was on fire. So I don't know I would hit.
02:30:20
Speaker
ah No, it does miss almost like you, you, you're almost surprised that you managed to hit it with the, with the torch yourself. And um yeah, the, the punch, the the shadows, the flame, the smoke,
02:30:32
Speaker
Throws you off for that punch, unfortunately. Very nice. Thank you very much, Rock. Falco, you've just seen Rock dive through a spider's legs, a giant spider's legs, lob of torch, and now the thing is on fire, literally five feet away from you.
02:30:47
Speaker
What would you like to do? ah Holy shit. Um...
02:30:58
Speaker
Um... um i'm looking I'm looking at Rock and looking at the the knight with the firelight glancing off his armor.
02:31:11
Speaker
Falco's thinking, Falco could be onto a winner here.
02:31:18
Speaker
um And he will...
02:31:24
Speaker
rush he's gonna he's gonna rush forward and trying to look heroic he's going to just take attack out the the giant spider with his um with his war pick okay go for it roll to hit oh i've done another or one it's a 15 to hit oh yeah that hits roll your damage
02:31:51
Speaker
You've got sap as well with that, is that right? I do have sap as well with it, yeah um That's four points of damage. Okay. And... Where's the other weapon mastery?
02:32:08
Speaker
I cannot for the life of me remember what sap does, but... Had your proficiency bonus to the attack roll for any any attack you make with, so plus two, so that would be seven points of damage?
02:32:21
Speaker
for the attack was your initial roll? Oh, sorry, was it the attack roll or the damage? Your proficiency managed the attack roll, yeah. Okay, so it'd be seven, ah no, 19?
02:32:32
Speaker
nineteen So five five points of damage. Five points of damage? Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay.
02:32:41
Speaker
You're this, this thing screams and you, you just run up and stab this pig wildly at this creature that's on fire, smoke,
Falco's Heroic Strike and Aftermath
02:32:50
Speaker
black smoke billowing out from the creature and you catch catch it in the, in the abdomen.
02:32:56
Speaker
and this black icker gushes out of the creature as it as it convulses on the floor, as it continues to flame. The legs curl in on itself, but the creature is dead. You've killed it.
02:33:11
Speaker
Falco has killed the giant. Fuck you. No.
02:33:16
Speaker
No, he has a little bit XP, bro. um It's dead. still on fire. It's still cat. If you go through that space. Yeah, man. You know, it's still on fire. It's still very much a thing that can, is is burning. It's combustible, um but it is dead for all intents and purposes. Killed by the one and only Falco.
02:33:33
Speaker
Anything else you want to do with your turn? you've got movement, bonus action. I'll just be, I'll be breathing heavy and I'll look at rock and be like, that was exhilarating.
02:33:45
Speaker
for the penis and i'll take one step forward to its burning corpse um but but hesitate trying to get past the massive flaming limbs very good amazing i'll leave it on roll 20 just so we know where the where the fire um im Lovely. Amazing. Thank you very much. It is the spider boss's turn, but it's good. Garrick, it's your turn. Just at the corner of your eye and the glint of your breastplate, you can just see fire and lights off your left, behind you, kind of off to your left shoulder.
02:34:21
Speaker
and You are ah one, two, three, four, five spiders around you. One, two, kind of waiting literally in the wings to surround you. and You are almost surrounded.
02:34:32
Speaker
This is like... textbook vitinus test of goodness and brilliance and heroicness um you've literally read this story you know how this goes the hero always wins now it's a time to prove it what'd you like to do garrick feels inspired and at the exact moment that falco slices through the underbelly of that spider there's almost this camera pan action that happens on garrick's face as it zooms in and then garrick does that slow motion head nod with a smile that and a gleam in his eye as he hits the spider closest to him yeah go for it man rolls a hit let's go swing it uh 15 hits hits seven nine but ah nine points of uh damage
02:35:27
Speaker
french this fucker you just smack it into the head into the head just convulse caves in and crushes into the ground the legs all splayed out to the sides it twitches once and then does not move you've absolutely murdered a spider good job there we go that's the other way thank you very much it's the spider's turn uh the one he you just killed is filled with another one i know rock's still there so we can we can we can stick to you i know rock you you would had you moved back rock ah yeah Well, i I didn't know if I had purposefully been moved somewhere else.
02:36:00
Speaker
I'd slid you... Or whether the... I'm with you. Okay, yeah. So you were... Slid you out of the XP buff. Yeah, you were in the space of the spider, then you jumped past it. I kind of gave you that movement. I'm with I'm with you. So that's where left you there. Just because affects... Yeah. Love it. So... The...
02:36:18
Speaker
so um the first The first creature is going to have a crack at you, then Garak. I mean, they're all on you now, Garak. So it's literally, it's, you know, classic classic story of David versus Goliath, but the Goliath is in the detriment. Man versus spider.
02:36:41
Speaker
versus The shittier version of man versus food. the better version of spiders The better version of one man, one jar. Right, we've got... If you haven't seen it, don't. ah the ah I'll go the highest i from the highest down. Does a 19 hit your armor class? No.
02:37:01
Speaker
You feel
02:37:05
Speaker
almost like the light, the glints off the armor is that from Vetinus itself. As this unholy, and you feel it as an unholy barrage of five separate attacks wail upon you from all angles,
02:37:21
Speaker
and none manage to penetrate you or your armour. um You are untouched, unscathed, unharried, uninjured by five separate attacks as they all miss.
02:37:39
Speaker
With your fucking 20. Yeah, we might need to look into that. I don't know. It's just because I just put plate armour on and I also use a shield.
02:37:51
Speaker
i don't But the character description called for plate armour, so I just put it on. You fucking galloped this. Where's your plate armour from? I don't know.
02:38:01
Speaker
It's his backstory. Give yourself plate armor. I don't understand how how how good plate armor is, but when when when I looked at the AC. That's not starting equipment.
02:38:14
Speaker
That's pretty good. You just added it to your inventory. So maybe we need this. the tennis as you're back. for now fun now we'll save the tennis as you're back yeah but maybe that will change maybe that maybe i think if i think i think maybe maybe so need have a look at garrick have a look have a look at my like have a look at the character i'm star to and put whatever you need to start and get you know how i am with these things i don't have a fucking clue you must have purposefully added it you're so yeah was like i was looking for plate armor i just so i put it on
02:38:53
Speaker
Yeah, that'll do it, that'll do it, Ian. That's why you've got plate armour, is because you fucking picked it. But I didn't know that, like, plate armour's so buffy, like... It's what everyone kind of aims for in the heavy armour world. Yeah, then you put a shield on top of it, it's like, oh yeah, but baby.
02:39:07
Speaker
2014, it's 1500 gold for plate armour. Yeah. That's alright. In the new one, I think it's less, but... It's rented. It's a rental tux. It's a rental.
02:39:18
Speaker
Ha ha ha! That's why you didn't want to scratch it. You have to pay excess. Fucking hell. Right, maybe maybe the rent will end tomorrow and you'll have to return to your chainmail.
02:39:32
Speaker
Chainmail. Oh, let me put chainmail on now. No, no, no, no, no. All these spiders will feel very... I'll be honest, mate. only lose two AC when I put chainmail on. So it'll go down to 18. You'd have been hit four more times.
02:39:48
Speaker
Ha ha ha. You've done plenty more times, bro. So I don't get that i don't get why it's like 2AC better. iss like It's a big difference with because it's 2. It's something you work towards at level 5 or 6 if you're lucky. Playing playing for this for 6 years.
02:40:05
Speaker
i thought i thought it was a better flavor i thought you knew you had chain mail and this was just the moment he said 20 no because i said plate mail and there was a thing called plate mail i don't understand how good plate mail is but the character the sheet says plate mail oh i wonder if there's plate mail search oh there's plate mail that's perfect that's like that's exactly what i wanted i'll put that that's like saying i really want the spell wish i'm just going to give myself the spell wish it's just a spell scroll it's just a spell scroll i've just like look if it's a spell scroll if i wanted wish and i i typed wish and i saw it there if that was part of the background would have had that too it's it's actually on the inside of the plate armor it's just it's just sticking out there
02:40:52
Speaker
One day, one day ian will understand how to play D&D. But today is not that day. Today is not that He to play it. He's just trying to play the system now. Yes. it's I learn from the people I've played with.
02:41:05
Speaker
And I take every little bit from them. Don't blame this on us. Don't blame this on us. We know the fucking rules.
02:41:14
Speaker
Right. So yes, 20 misses. Yes, a 20 fucking misses. Of course it does. You're level one. Motherfucker. Right. Okay. Vadinis wants his fucking armor back. That must have happened Right, after this battle, Vadinis is having it back.
02:41:31
Speaker
<unk> I've got chain mail, so this must have been part of the original equipment. i see it in my slot. Yes, starting equipment. Fuck me. I've also got it equipped at the same time as the plate, so i'm not entirely sure.
02:41:42
Speaker
I can't eat him. They're both active, so...
02:41:48
Speaker
His armor class is 38. So all I can think of is like original Iron man yeah as he comes out from the cave that he's built his armor in the first time around. He's just a metal lump of iron.
02:42:00
Speaker
no No shine. bowbo um ah Right. Well, let's just finish this fast then. Of course I'm not going to get through to you. Oh, Jesus. Fuck me. Right. It's a good job the big spider didn't try and hit me. All right, Iron Man.
02:42:16
Speaker
Let's um rock. and the If you smell... yeah you're not um You're a balanced character. Do something balanced in level one. ah Yeah, you see again, Munk's a good at level one, but I'm playing by the book. you know ah What Rock's going to do is he's going to kind of um sidle up around the burning creature, as in trying to jump over it without burning it himself, back into the fray um to Garruk's side. And what he's going to do is he's going to go for an unarmed strike initially against one of the spiders that's nearby.
02:42:53
Speaker
But um going to make the unarmed strike a grapple attack. and Okay. So I need a save from spiders. The DC for this save is... um Let me just quickly work it out. 13. 13.
02:43:13
Speaker
I got 14. So it can choose. Okay, that's fine. It saves. So he goes to grab one. He's going to try and grapple the other one as well with his second non-armed strike. Okay. Same save, I assume.
02:43:25
Speaker
Yes. 13. Oh, is it 13? Meets and beats. Okay, you get it? Cope. Two completely wasted actions. No, I don't grab it. Oh, no, of course. me tweet Yeah, yeah. It meets and meets the grapple. He basically, he ran in to try and grab the two nearest spiders, like a hand on one, a hand on the other.
02:43:42
Speaker
um But he's completely fucked it and misjudged it. And I can't do anything else with my turn. So that was it. Very good. Falco, uh, rocks just gone and stroked a pair of spiders. You've got a burning corpse of a giant spider in front of you. drift stood ah behind you 10 feet, just kind of staring eyes open and wide. Um, six spiders still, uh, hammering at a Garrick that seems to his, his, his, his chainmail armor seems to sometimes evoke this kind of ethereal, ah imagery over. It seems to look platish at moments, but, um, nonetheless, he seems unharmed. um
02:44:19
Speaker
what you want to do? ah love that you thought it was flavour.
02:44:25
Speaker
Well, seeing Garrick so supernaturally invulnerable,
02:44:35
Speaker
Falco's kind of having a moment because this whole this his whole plan is that he's trying to persuade Garrick to do something probably against his divine wishes, but this is making him like genuinely
02:44:53
Speaker
believe in this God. and he's like, well, fuck, maybe maybe I'm on some kind of divine path too. And so he's going to hold his arms out wide, kick off his boots, and...
02:45:15
Speaker
Like he's stepping the coals as a show of faith. He's going to try and step up onto the flaming spider just to see if it damages him. Oh, holy shit. Oh, Charlie. Yes, this is the shit. Fuck yeah. Okay. This wakes me 1130 PM. Let's fucking go Let's fucking go. All right.
02:45:35
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Okay. Cool. I like this. Right. Okay. First things first. Could you give me a religion? Okay. Check. That's a thing. Yeah. add A religion check. Give me religion. and Give me the number, please kindly. Oh, nuts. That's a solid two. Okay. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool and then could you give me a constitution saving throw
02:46:09
Speaker
a twelve
02:46:12
Speaker
Okay, in line with the damage that the spider would take you take, you sustain five points of fire damage as your feet and ankles ignite. Not ignite, but you you're standing on hot coals.
02:46:26
Speaker
um the the second or two you had of that kind of ethereal kind of otherworldly quality coming down towards you is instantly negated by the fucking pain and the fact that two steps in, your foot squelches through the carapace of this body into what's black, thick, warm, icker at that point as your ankles explode into pain.
02:46:50
Speaker
Okay, so the cave just erupts into, oh shit, ah! and i'll start I'll back up a couple of steps towards drift. I love the idea.
02:47:01
Speaker
Just like wiping the the thick like horrible ick off my feet. um
02:47:08
Speaker
Squire, grab my boots for me. ah ah
02:47:15
Speaker
I mean, technically, I know you have removed items, so I think that kind of steals your action, doesn't unfortunately? Yeah, cool. A bonus action? Anything you can do the bonus action as a bard? Anything you want to do Yeah, oh I'll look at drift and point towards my boots on the floor as my bonus action. Okay, fair.
02:47:32
Speaker
Very nice. Thank you very much for that. ah Falco. Good shit. Okay. hi Garrick, it's over to you. Just hear this cacophony of screams and shouts over your shoulder, but you've still got a bunch of spiders all the way around you and this this strange rumbling and also high pitched noise in your ear that starts to get louder and louder and louder.
02:47:55
Speaker
um What do you want to do? ah just hit the nearest spider for 19 and seven points of piercing squelching the one between you and rock is destroyed and is eed ah just crushed onto the floor and you just hear quietly kind of over your shoulder how about a challenge And as you kind of flinch over, there's nothing but a spider there. And this continuing chittering noise continues to move around you.
02:48:24
Speaker
That's the end of your turn. I assume, Garrick, you're with the one hip. ah The spider's turn. Who's fucking freaked out by that, though? Christ! but The gap where you just squatted a spider, one moves into its place. There's now five around you and Rock and the flaming spider. Two against Rock, three on you. One on the kind of side wall using a spider movement. Two against Rock are going to go to hit you.
02:48:49
Speaker
ah one is other is 15. Both hit. um the other is a fifteen both okay Okay, oh nice. Okay, finally. So so I'll combine them.
02:48:59
Speaker
You take two piercing damage and can you make two separate constitution saving throws, please? I can indeed. The first con save is a nine and the second con save is a 19. Okay, both the con saves are fine. You just take the two piercing damage. Everything else is negated.
02:49:18
Speaker
When it comes to you, however, though, Mr. Garrick Fleshlight, what's your name again? not Fleshlight. I have Fleshlight now. Cannon. I've had four beers. I'm all over it now, mate. Right, okay. i'm I'm getting slutty. right well we talk that chart Flash art. Flash art. Woof, woof. It's three enemies. There's no... Oh, wait. One of them is at... No, that one.
02:49:46
Speaker
None of them are advantage. ah Does a... You still get everything at a as set. ah ah Does a 20 hit your armor class? no Yes, it does. It meets a beat.
02:49:59
Speaker
Oh, yes. yeah I knew that. Fuck's sake, Ian. You've got 20. I'm going to properly.
02:50:08
Speaker
Yes, so 20 will hit. You're going to take one piercing damage, and can you make a constitution saving throw, please? The other two miss, because I can't hit 20s on repeat for a CR zero creature against a CR cheating P player.
02:50:25
Speaker
Yep.
02:50:28
Speaker
That's 12 a con. That's yeah. That passes. Fuck it. Um, that's right. We'll make a cannon. We'll make a part the story. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good shit. all right. Uh, that is their turn. I feel like there's another spider hiding in the corpse. Nope. It's gone.
02:50:44
Speaker
Um, that's all that's a rock background to you ah okay we now the nearest ah one of the nearest spiders is gone. He's going to try and do us us the same kind of thing, but with both hands now on the spider that's kind of in front of him, nearest to the big flaming ah mama spider. So I need another ah strength or dex save, please.
02:51:04
Speaker
It'll go for a dex save. It's got plus one to that. It's six. Yeah, that's a failure, so it becomes grappled. So he's got that with two hands. He's going to try and kick out at the other spider on his right with his bonus action um just to to to try and eliminate that one, try and put his foot through the fucking thing. All right, go for it. ah For a 14 to hit?
02:51:29
Speaker
which means it'll die because I've got oh almost was max damage though. Oh, very nice. For nine points of bludgeoning. fuck. Overkill. Yeah. With the one that I've got grappled in front of me, I am going to use my movement to drag it backwards and sling it over the flaming corpse of its mother. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
02:51:52
Speaker
Love it. Okay. It instantly takes five points of fire damage and ah shrivels up and dies instantly. Cool. And letting go of it there, I'll use, I've got five feet more of movement speed, so I'm going to go.
02:52:05
Speaker
I'm just going to, in fact, actually, no, I'm going to stay there and and turn to Falco ah and just say, are are you okay? Are there more back there? i heard i heard a little girl screaming. Is she over there?
02:52:17
Speaker
ah
02:52:20
Speaker
Um, uh, and, um, I'm sure Falco will have response. And there's Falco you're next. And you literally just to hear that as, uh, as you see it, you see, you see rock kick one in the face and squelch it and then hold the other over it's burning mother's corpse.
02:52:36
Speaker
And then ask after the, the welfare of the little girl.
02:52:46
Speaker
Um, I will, No, I'm not going to do that. um I'll look at Little girl, what are you?
02:52:58
Speaker
Hey! And I'll be, by this time, I'll be like, my hat will be off my head and I'll be fanning my feet, like trying to cool them down. um And I'll point over Rock's shoulder and go,
02:53:09
Speaker
There's still some alive! And I'll shout at the one Garak's east and I'll use vicious mockery on him. Very nice. All right. So do you mean on his tails?
02:53:21
Speaker
On his tails? On his tails? Very good. On his tails. yeah Seven. No, six. Six. As a save. yeah Awesome. Then he shall take...
02:53:37
Speaker
enough to get him. One point of damage. But one is all it takes as its eyes explode and it dies. yeah and not and it is. Star Wars dies! Yeah!
02:53:48
Speaker
ah It's dead to the world. Garrick, um these enemies seem to just be destroying themselves almost in the and and the wake of Vatinus' wonder. um You've got two attacks to make. oh Sorry, two enemies left. What would you like to do I'm assuming... Yeah, swing and hit for nine...
02:54:05
Speaker
Nine to hit. Yep. Oh, yeah, that misses. Yeah. Yep. Cool, good shit. Right, and the spiders going to attack back. Level one, man, it's good fun. Right, they're both going to swing at your OP. It won't hit me. It's about that 20, baby.
02:54:22
Speaker
Fuck no, it's a natural one and a 10. So ah both are going to miss.
02:54:27
Speaker
And... um You just, as you, the the first one is an easy, like clanging hair, the second one comes towards your face visor and you have to bring your shield up to um to protect your visor because there is a gap for your eyes, obviously. And as you bring your shield...
02:54:45
Speaker
Well, your head then, you the visor of your eyeballs then, that but the eyelids that are above your eyes. kind of He doesn't have a helmet. He's okay. Well, the eyelids you have on your face. my eye my My eyelids.
02:54:58
Speaker
That's the vi the flesh visor you have. The visor of which I see the world. he's The flesh visor. Just let me finish this. You, you bring your shield up to protect your eyes then. And as you do so for an instance, you see a number of, uh, of triangle shapes dutted across the inside of your shield, whether or not, um, not etched there.
02:55:21
Speaker
And almost like, you know, when you look in a, in a flame and then you blink a few times and you can still see the flame, it's kind that on your eyes as but it's not there, but it kind of, you know, it is there kind of thing.
02:55:32
Speaker
Um, And that's the end of their turn for that. Top of the round, Rock. ah The enemies around Garrick are falling. There are two more left. Anything you want to do? Yeah, go up and beat the shit out of one of them. Fuck yeah. For an eight to hit. ah Misses. It just kind of scuffles up the side of the wall before you can get a chance to hit. Bonus action?
02:55:52
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, bonus action. As it's scuttling away, 23. Boom! Hit it. Catch you by the abdomens. He's going to grab it off the wall. Yeah. And he's going to use his other hand and just try and tear apart. Oh, like a phone book.
02:56:04
Speaker
Yeah. Eight points of bludgeoning damage. Yeah. It's yellow pages. Such a 2000 reference. Yeah.
02:56:14
Speaker
There's lots of them today. um Yeah, I mean, A through G are just in pieces now. ah There's one more on the wall near Garrick. That's the only one that remains. And Falco, it's over to you. ah You're fanning your hot tootsies at the moment.
02:56:30
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I will um i'll grab my boots off the floor and I will move. One, two, three, four, five, six. six
The Search for the Boy and Level Up
02:56:40
Speaker
into this space. Um, and can I make an investigation check for any young boys?
02:56:47
Speaker
You can indeed from that current position. Yeah. Yeah. Give me a priest of the team. Sure. Give me an investigation check then. See in spotlight investigation check.
02:57:01
Speaker
Oh, it's a nine. um You noticed a couple of eggs after the distance that are rather large, but aside from that, nothing that's kind of humanoid shaped at all through the muck.
02:57:14
Speaker
But then again, there's still there's still flames flickering behind you. There's a spider still attacking your liege lord. um there's There's distractions in place, but there's nothing you can initially see, no. Okay. um Then that would be my turn. Okay, cool. Thank you very much. ah Garrick, one spider on the side of the wall left.
02:57:34
Speaker
A swing for 15. Hits. Yeah, buddy. Splats. Four points. And almost like as it scuttles down the wall, you just kind of swing like back a backard backhand like fucking Serena Williams. Just squish it against the side of the wall.
02:57:51
Speaker
As it's dead, your your morning star gets stuck in the wall for a second. You to rip it out of the ah the guts of this creature. As you can see, the lights crackle of ah the the the large spider behind you.
02:58:02
Speaker
as um as you just taking your surroundings in a couple of breaths.
02:58:08
Speaker
And with that, there's a feeling of powerfulness in two of you, at least, as Rock and Falco level up to level two.
02:58:23
Speaker
And Garrick, you unfortunately you also level up. No, you do also level up. I agree so. we're all going to get to level two. um And in the moment of silence and the breath and the sweat and the moment, ah the the the muted silence of the moment, that's where we're going to end it for this week's episode of wild heart, spider adventure.
02:58:46
Speaker
oh God. I can't believe you cooked a corpse of a child over the corpse of the mother. Yeah. The spiders, but still that was dark. was dark for I don't know what came over me. I just thought it would be cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:58:59
Speaker
I mean, you took a whole two turns to do it. You failed twice and then went for a double-handed... I wanted it so much. I know. I know. I could tell. It's like a turdurken. I'm part proud of you, part really disturbed, but... i That's good shit. So, so far, so good. We've cleared the current current caves under under the yeah the gilded anchor, ready to meet Tashlin Violetta and get us on a surge dive.
02:59:26
Speaker
hill knows if it will even take place but i didn't choose my a ability score oh for god's sake right there's a couple of things we just saw out with garrick as well but actually garrick keep the ah keep the armor for now keep the armor for oh my lord we'll build to something this is like nix all over again well i'm finding things that i just didn't do when i made the character How long have you been playing and tiy but just D&D? I just get someone to make the character for me and I'll play it that's
03:00:02
Speaker
it. It's embarrassing, but we love you. Oh, I roll with it. I'm not embarrassed. for it You guys can be embarrassed for me. I'm not embarrassed. And that's a wrap on this episode of Wild Heart.
03:00:14
Speaker
But the adventure doesn't stop there. Dive deeper into the world of Wild Heart over at fellowshipofthetabletop.co.uk. There, you'll find expanded lore, a detailed map of Erith, and a brand new blog covering both Wild Heart and Bellum Draconis.
03:00:29
Speaker
Got theories, questions, wild predictions? We'd love to hear them. Reach out to us at fellowshipofthetabletop at gmail.com. Check a theory on the blog, or join our conversation on the socials.
03:00:41
Speaker
your input might just shape what happens next. And if you're craving even more stories from Wild Heart, don't forget to check out The Interregnums, our short fiction podcast bringing the hidden corners of this world to life.
03:00:54
Speaker
This drops every other Tuesday. Until next time, subscribe to keep up to date, stay curious, and as always, watch the tide.