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Going Through A Break Up and Finding Your Breakthrough
136 Plays4 years ago
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Transcript
Catching Up on Life's Positives
00:00:00
Speaker
Iggy Rodriguez in the building, y'all.
00:00:02
Speaker
Yo, is that better?
00:00:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:06
Speaker
There's my guy.
00:00:06
Speaker
What's up, man?
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Speaker
How you doing, buddy?
00:00:08
Speaker
There's my guy.
00:00:09
Speaker
How you feeling?
00:00:10
Speaker
What's going on?
00:00:11
Speaker
It's good to see you, man.
00:00:13
Speaker
I know.
00:00:13
Speaker
It's been forever, man.
00:00:14
Speaker
It's been a minute to talk, but I haven't seen you, so.
00:00:17
Speaker
There's been a lot, dude.
00:00:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:00:20
Speaker
There's been a lot, man.
00:00:22
Speaker
How's your day so far?
00:00:23
Speaker
Been good.
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Speaker
Had a busy morning.
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Speaker
Had some calls this morning.
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Speaker
I was at the UCLA track for a little workout.
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Speaker
So been active, been trying to get after it still, you know me.
00:00:34
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, like a athlete.
00:00:35
Speaker
Like a shot that you are.
00:00:36
Speaker
Yeah, that's right.
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Speaker
I mean, it's funny.
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Speaker
I told the story this morning.
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Speaker
I'm getting old, man.
00:00:39
Speaker
Like, I had a really hard workout on Monday.
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Speaker
And on Tuesday, I, like, I woke up and went to go, like, wash my mouth out and, like, brush my teeth.
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Speaker
When I bent over the sink to brush my teeth, my hamstring, like, tightened up.
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Speaker
Like, that's how bad it is.
00:00:51
Speaker
Wow.
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Speaker
I'm an old man, dude.
00:00:52
Speaker
I'm an old man.
00:00:53
Speaker
We gotta get you some cryo, man.
00:00:55
Speaker
I know, I know.
00:00:56
Speaker
No, but things are good, man.
00:00:57
Speaker
How you doing?
00:00:58
Speaker
Man, phenomenal, man.
00:00:59
Speaker
Life is great.
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Speaker
God is great.
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Speaker
And we're living proof.
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Speaker
So I'm happy to be here on this live with my brother from another.
Struggles with Self-Image and Validation
00:01:07
Speaker
But man, let's get right into it, man.
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Speaker
Let's talk about transformation, relationships, vulnerability.
00:01:14
Speaker
When we spoke a few weeks ago, you kind of opened up to me about some things you were dealing with.
00:01:19
Speaker
And now you seem like you're on the other side of those things.
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Speaker
Kind of just give us a little just synopsis of what that challenge and that breakthrough was like, has been like for you, and you're probably still evolving from that.
00:01:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:32
Speaker
So you mentioned being on the other side of it.
00:01:33
Speaker
I feel like I'm like, like kind of trudging through the middle of it a little bit.
00:01:37
Speaker
But it's been a very hard few months, E, very hard.
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Speaker
I think for so long, we talked about this a little bit, for so long, I've like,
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Speaker
I've created this image for myself that I wanted people to like, right?
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Speaker
And so much of my time and energy was spent on making sure that the thing that I communicated, whether it be through Instagram, through a conversation, and in any capacity, any form, I could communicate this message about myself, that it was received and that people liked it and validated me for this thing I wanted to communicate.
00:02:12
Speaker
And as a result of that, it's made it really difficult for me and be very open and vulnerable to be in relationships because I've never really liked the things about me that I know to be true about myself.
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Speaker
I have a lot of insecurities.
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Speaker
I have a lot of things that that
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Speaker
Basically, the only things that I communicate to the world are the things that I want you to see.
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Speaker
Because those are really easy for me to kind of be out and fake and do the smile and laugh, right?
00:02:39
Speaker
Like that's easy.
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Speaker
And the more validation I got for it, the more I liked doing it because it made me feel good in that moment.
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Speaker
But when I close my phone and the lights stop happening and it's just me sitting there by myself,
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Speaker
I'm basically communicating this image of myself that I don't really like.
00:02:55
Speaker
So that validation goes away very quickly.
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Speaker
Because then all of a sudden, I'm sitting with the stuff that I don't like by myself all the time.
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Speaker
And so I oftentimes found women who really cared about me and loved me to try and fill that cup up with their love for me instead of really understanding why I feel that way, trying to love myself more, trying to be better to myself.
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Speaker
And candidly, I would use their love up until it was gone.
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Speaker
And the relationship would end really badly because ultimately, no matter how much they loved me and cared about me,
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Speaker
I still needed that other validation for that person I created.
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Speaker
And so their love wasn't enough for me because I didn't love myself.
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Speaker
And
Candy Analogy and Self-Acceptance
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Speaker
then this external validation, and my therapist was amazing.
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Speaker
His name is Rob Mack.
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Speaker
He was like, it's like candy, right?
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Speaker
Like you eat a piece of candy, it tastes great in that moment.
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Speaker
It's amazing.
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Speaker
It's your favorite candy ever.
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Speaker
But what happens when you eat three bags of it?
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Speaker
Like you get sick, right?
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Speaker
You get sick.
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Speaker
And so my candy was the social validation specifically for women.
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Speaker
And I would get it, and then I feel good for a second, and then I would eat more candy and more candy.
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Speaker
And it would ruin my relationships because I wasn't present with this person who loved me because I didn't like me.
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Speaker
And I kept going back to the well.
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Speaker
to people, for people to like me for things that I didn't like.
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Speaker
And so I was in this spot where like, I candidly, like, I can't be with anybody.
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Speaker
Like, until I can really love myself enough to be able to deliver love the way that it should be.
00:04:37
Speaker
Yeah, and that's the thing, you know, we take it back to the candy technology.
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Speaker
So to people on this live, maybe you know, maybe you don't know, is that when you have a sugar fetish and you want to eat candy all the time, you're actually filling a void.
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Speaker
The void is the lacking love in your life.
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Speaker
So you just want more sugar.
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Speaker
So I had that.
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Speaker
And I can relate because the love I was lacking was loving myself.
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Speaker
And that's what we tend to do when we want validation or we manipulate ourselves to be that person or to help that person, just to get that feeling and an admiration from others.
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Speaker
And we're not even giving that to ourselves.
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Speaker
And so we in that position where it's like fight and flight.
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Speaker
Like, do I stay, do I go?
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Speaker
But we don't even understand because most times it's a blind
Men's Emotional Work and Vulnerability
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Speaker
spot.
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Speaker
And like you say blind spot, I think like as like as like a guy's guy, right?
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Speaker
As someone who is like an athlete forever, like in my mind, like if I have a problem, I'm just going to like I'm going to steamroll through it.
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Speaker
Right.
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Speaker
I'm going to figure out I'm going to fix it.
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Speaker
Even in my relationship, I kept telling my person like I'm going to stop acting this way.
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Speaker
I'm going to solve it.
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Speaker
I'm going to fix it.
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Speaker
But I never took the time to create the environment and to understand what tools I needed to fix it.
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Speaker
And that's one of the biggest things I wanted to talk about, especially with anybody who's willing to listen.
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Speaker
It's like, if you knew better, you'd do better.
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Speaker
I didn't know better.
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Speaker
Like I didn't know how to work on myself.
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Speaker
And I told this to you the other day like- Hold, hold, hold, hold.
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Speaker
Pause, pause.
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Speaker
I'm not gonna cut you off.
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Speaker
Go back to that again.
00:06:16
Speaker
I think you need to say that again for the people in the back.
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Speaker
It was- You didn't know how to work on yourself.
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Speaker
If I knew better, I would have done better.
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Speaker
And I didn't know how to work on myself.
00:06:25
Speaker
And I think that's a challenge for all of us, for many people, Iggy.
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Speaker
They don't know because they haven't been programmed or conditioned to.
00:06:32
Speaker
So that's why they're always missing the ball or missing the train, because they don't have the information.
00:06:37
Speaker
They don't have the awareness that you just figured out.
00:06:41
Speaker
And especially for guys like us who are athletes, it's like, oh, if we have enough reps, if we work hard enough, right?
00:06:46
Speaker
But we don't even know what game we're playing.
00:06:49
Speaker
Like, work hard at what?
00:06:51
Speaker
Like, what am I working on?
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Speaker
You know what I mean?
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Speaker
I had no idea.
00:06:53
Speaker
And it really, like, I've gone to therapy a couple of times, but was kind of closed minded about it, right?
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Speaker
Like, this is the first time where I said, I'm going to commit.
00:07:01
Speaker
to really sticking to something in my life and going to therapy.
00:07:06
Speaker
And I told you this the other day, like, if I would have told you two months ago that I would be the kind of guy who would write down on the mirror in my bathroom that I love and accepted myself and look at myself in the mirror every day and said that until I fucking believe it,
00:07:19
Speaker
and journaled when my feelings were overwhelming instead of going to my phone and maybe DMing someone and distracting myself, but really owning my feelings and taking time out of my day to meditate and literally speak to the universe about things that I'm looking for in abundances in my life, I'd have called you fucking nuts.
00:07:36
Speaker
I would have never done that, ever.
00:07:40
Speaker
And I didn't know I needed that until I started doing the work with my therapist to start.
00:07:47
Speaker
Yeah, and the thing,
Self-Awareness in Relationships
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Speaker
I just want to congratulate you because you took the first step.
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Speaker
The first step is awareness and being mindful of that.
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Speaker
I need work.
00:08:01
Speaker
I'm full of it.
00:08:02
Speaker
I'm on Front Street.
00:08:03
Speaker
I'm pump faking.
00:08:04
Speaker
I'm not shooting a shot out of this corner.
00:08:07
Speaker
I'm really laying it up, but people don't know that.
00:08:11
Speaker
So like I always say, the hardest work we're doing in life is on ourselves.
00:08:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:16
Speaker
And it's forever.
00:08:18
Speaker
I think the hardest part for me is that I'm not a very patient guy.
00:08:21
Speaker
Like, I want what I want.
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Speaker
I want what I want.
00:08:23
Speaker
I want it now, right?
00:08:25
Speaker
But this work is forever work.
00:08:28
Speaker
It's forever work.
00:08:29
Speaker
And so I've had to like... So right now in your position, like, you know, the relationship didn't work out, but now you're working on a relationship with yourself.
00:08:38
Speaker
How do you feel?
00:08:39
Speaker
And what phase are you in right now to get to the other side of your self or your greatness?
00:08:47
Speaker
Therapy for sure is a huge one.
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Speaker
Someone to like have an objective conversation with.
00:08:52
Speaker
Like, I love my boys, right?
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Speaker
my boys didn't go to school to help me out my problems, right?
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Speaker
It's like, oh, man, you know, I feel like shit.
00:08:59
Speaker
I feel so bad about things that I've done and about my relationship.
00:09:01
Speaker
They're like, oh, let's go grab a drink.
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Speaker
Let's talk to some girls.
00:09:04
Speaker
That's not it.
00:09:05
Speaker
Like, that's a distraction, right?
00:09:07
Speaker
Like, that ain't it.
00:09:08
Speaker
And for so long, that's what I did is like, when I felt pain or when I was sad or when I needed self-love, I self-soothed by finding someone who would give it to me.
00:09:21
Speaker
And...
00:09:21
Speaker
And I'm actively working on myself.
00:09:23
Speaker
And a lot of it is therapy.
00:09:25
Speaker
I've been reading so much lately.
00:09:27
Speaker
And that's probably been one of the biggest things for me.
00:09:29
Speaker
It's like therapy is great.
00:09:30
Speaker
But what you have in an hour a week, maybe two hours a week, if you can afford it, if you're lucky.
00:09:34
Speaker
There are so many pieces of work out there that have resonated with me so deeply.
00:09:39
Speaker
And you can read every day.
00:09:40
Speaker
You can read a couple hours a day.
00:09:42
Speaker
And that work isn't just speaking to someone.
00:09:45
Speaker
That work is like,
00:09:46
Speaker
internalizing the stories and lessons that so many other brilliant people have to offer.
00:09:51
Speaker
So I've been reading
Honesty and Vulnerability in Dating
00:09:52
Speaker
a lot.
00:09:52
Speaker
And then I think one of the biggest ones for me is, is
00:09:56
Speaker
I because I'm kind of impatient and I act, you know, sort of very quickly.
00:10:01
Speaker
You are similar.
00:10:02
Speaker
Like we're very high functioning, right?
00:10:02
Speaker
Like we're always going right.
00:10:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:04
Speaker
Is it sometimes I don't take a look at what I'm doing before I do it.
00:10:08
Speaker
It's almost automatic.
00:10:10
Speaker
And sometimes like that pleasure seeking is automatic and it makes me feel bad afterwards.
00:10:15
Speaker
So really.
00:10:17
Speaker
And I'll be honest, I went on a date last night and I journaled before I went out and I'm like, how do I feel in this moment?
00:10:23
Speaker
Like, am I going out because I'm sad, because I'm lonely, or am I going out because I genuinely just want to have a good time and kind of meet someone new?
00:10:31
Speaker
And I've been able to kind of slow my process down where I'm not just feeling and reacting and then thinking,
00:10:39
Speaker
you know, oh, maybe I should or should not have done that or why did I do that?
00:10:42
Speaker
But doing the thinking before you act and I realize that's like a simple thing to say, but like, because we're all doing so much, it's so hard to do that sometimes, but sitting and really just like just journaling about how I feel in the moment, why I'm doing something, it makes me infinitely more present.
00:10:59
Speaker
Yeah, because we get caught up in human doings instead of being human beings.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:04
Speaker
I think what you're trying to figure out is like, what is my intention?
00:11:07
Speaker
Right, right.
00:11:09
Speaker
What's the why?
00:11:10
Speaker
What am I doing this for?
00:11:12
Speaker
Is it for her?
00:11:13
Speaker
Is it for me?
00:11:14
Speaker
Is it for the moment?
00:11:15
Speaker
Is it because I'm lonely?
00:11:15
Speaker
Because of the pandemic?
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:19
Speaker
And you get to the root of those answers and you're like, got it.
00:11:21
Speaker
And some of those questions might ring true.
00:11:24
Speaker
Like, I'm doing this for me.
00:11:25
Speaker
I'm doing a little something today.
00:11:27
Speaker
But I'll deal with it when I can.
00:11:31
Speaker
But here's the thing that I've noticed.
00:11:32
Speaker
And one of the biggest things for me, I know it's brought us closer even in a short period of time.
00:11:37
Speaker
If I'm doing it for me, or if I'm going out on a date and I lead with complete honesty, like, hey, I have no expectations.
00:11:46
Speaker
I just got out of a breakup.
00:11:47
Speaker
I just want to have a drink and have a good time.
00:11:49
Speaker
If you come home, great.
00:11:50
Speaker
If you leave at the end of the night, great.
00:11:52
Speaker
Like, I'm just here to enjoy this experience.
00:11:54
Speaker
And this is where I am right now.
Self-Forgiveness and Emotional Healing
00:11:56
Speaker
I am shocked, Eric, at how well that is received.
00:12:00
Speaker
Like, all my fear of being, like, honest and vulnerable and, like, almost having a script when I went out.
00:12:06
Speaker
Like, this is what I want people, this is what I want to say for people to think a certain way.
00:12:10
Speaker
the moment I stopped doing that, I feel like I'm so much more warmly received by everyone.
00:12:18
Speaker
And that's the thing that I was so worried about.
00:12:20
Speaker
Yeah, and I think you're not, well, I had that issue like three weeks ago.
00:12:24
Speaker
where I had to fail someone that I care about because I was still helping them out of the people-pleasing energy.
00:12:32
Speaker
So I had to say no.
00:12:35
Speaker
I didn't keep my word.
00:12:36
Speaker
I failed them and I said, perfect.
00:12:38
Speaker
I want you to be mad at me.
00:12:40
Speaker
I want to fail you because I need to let you know that I'm not perfect.
00:12:45
Speaker
I'm not God.
00:12:47
Speaker
I'm not just saving grace every time you want to be saved.
00:12:50
Speaker
No, I can make a mistake.
00:12:52
Speaker
Okay, if you're mad, it's okay.
00:12:54
Speaker
But I had to do that to get out of the people-pleasing energy because when I thought about it, after I said agreed to it, I didn't really want to do it.
00:13:04
Speaker
It's so funny you mentioned that.
00:13:06
Speaker
one of the hardest things that for me to have done in the last month or so is to like actually forgive myself.
00:13:13
Speaker
Like I did stuff that I will never be okay with to this.
00:13:18
Speaker
I've hurt this person so deeply that it's inspired me to do this work, right?
00:13:22
Speaker
That's how bad it was.
00:13:23
Speaker
But I was almost like,
00:13:27
Speaker
almost like in a competitive way almost, I was like holding onto that pain to make sure I kept doing the work.
00:13:32
Speaker
Like I felt like if I let go of the pain, that I would just be complacent and be like, well, I forgive myself.
00:13:37
Speaker
So I don't really have to do this work anymore because I'm not, I don't feel bad about it.
00:13:43
Speaker
But what I noticed is that even though like that pain was the catalyst for doing this work, holding onto it while you do it only focuses your time and energy on your past experience.
00:13:55
Speaker
and how that relates to now and it forces you to like remove yourself from right now because you're still holding on to that stuff in the past.
00:14:02
Speaker
Yeah, and this energy, you know, Ed Hart totally has the book Awaken Your New Life Purpose and he talks about activating the pain body.
00:14:11
Speaker
So you leave one relationship
00:14:14
Speaker
You suppress those emotions and feelings.
00:14:17
Speaker
You go into another relationship and then you activate that pain.
00:14:21
Speaker
Now you're in a pained body because the energy is still moving around within you because you haven't healed from the wound.
00:14:27
Speaker
You just keep pushing it down.
00:14:29
Speaker
You're like, why keep running through these patterns?
00:14:32
Speaker
You haven't let the energy out.
00:14:34
Speaker
So it's hard when you don't have awareness.
00:14:37
Speaker
Well, I just think, man, it's easier said than done because you can do therapy, but you also got to do the work.
00:14:45
Speaker
Right.
00:14:46
Speaker
You got to be aware.
00:14:47
Speaker
There's a paradigm shift that, okay, I'm making a decision right now.
00:14:50
Speaker
Is this decision for me or is this for the benefit of them?
00:14:52
Speaker
Am I doing this out of love or am I doing this out of peace?
00:14:56
Speaker
And like, I've had to forgive myself for kind of falling back into some of those patterns.
00:15:00
Speaker
Even now, it's like, I hear myself say something that like, yeah, it's true, but maybe I put a little extra on it, right?
00:15:06
Speaker
To make me seem a certain way or to make someone else feel better or whatever, right?
00:15:10
Speaker
And like, I'm 33.
00:15:11
Speaker
Like, I've done that almost my entire life.
00:15:14
Speaker
And part of my career is building relationships, right?
00:15:17
Speaker
And like, it's so funny, I spent so much of my life reading
00:15:21
Speaker
books like Carnegie's, like Winning Friends essentially, right?
00:15:27
Speaker
Like Winning Friends and Influencing People, right?
00:15:29
Speaker
It teaches you how to be personable, and it teaches you how to get people to like you.
00:15:33
Speaker
But it never talks about you liking yourself and being genuine.
00:15:39
Speaker
It only talks about the tactics to get people to feel like they have a connection with you for the purpose of doing work together.
00:15:46
Speaker
And because I focused so long on that, I only knew how to do that in my relationships, too.
00:15:53
Speaker
Like, I knew what to say to make them feel a certain way, even if it wasn't my honest truth.
00:16:00
Speaker
And that was, like, the most damaging thing in my relationship.
00:16:04
Speaker
We'll call it people pleasing, but it was like, it's the only thing I
Self-Love and Relationship Dynamics
00:16:07
Speaker
knew how to, it's the only way I knew how to connect.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah, you were filling the holes that you need to look at.
00:16:12
Speaker
So you manipulated yourself to make someone else feel good so you didn't have to deal with the real issue.
00:16:18
Speaker
Exactly, exactly.
00:16:19
Speaker
You're like, I'll buy you something, go out, I love you, come here, boom.
00:16:23
Speaker
Exactly.
00:16:23
Speaker
And they feel good.
00:16:24
Speaker
They feel good.
00:16:25
Speaker
So then I feel good.
00:16:26
Speaker
I have to worry about it.
00:16:26
Speaker
Right.
00:16:27
Speaker
I can push it off.
00:16:29
Speaker
So to anybody listening that's going to watch this, what advice could you give them?
00:16:34
Speaker
Like when it comes to a breakup, because I know, I know at least at least 10 people.
00:16:42
Speaker
I say 10.
00:16:44
Speaker
that's in a breakup right now or going through a breakup or who just got out of a relationship in this whole span of what four months we've been in what is your best advice to those people that's dealing with heartbreak and sorrow and shame and whatever it is whatever emotion anger frustration it's okay to feel what you're feeling
00:17:07
Speaker
I spent so much time trying to avoid feeling what I was feeling, trying to avoid the shame of hurting someone, the pain of them not being here anymore.
00:17:16
Speaker
it's OK to feel how you're feeling.
00:17:18
Speaker
And I mean this very honestly.
00:17:19
Speaker
And I don't have pride in it anymore.
00:17:21
Speaker
There were times in the last month or so where I would just be driving down the street and hear a song and just start crying.
00:17:29
Speaker
There was that much pain that I inflicted on myself and how much regret I felt about the situation.
00:17:36
Speaker
And I think as a man with this complex of crying isn't masculine, I think traditionally I would have
00:17:45
Speaker
I would have changed the song or I would have like told myself to stop or whatever, but like, I just owned it.
00:17:49
Speaker
I just let it happen.
00:17:51
Speaker
It's cathartic.
00:17:51
Speaker
Like, you need to be able to feel those feelings so you can get over and through those feelings.
00:17:58
Speaker
If you just avoid it all the time, you're gonna fall into the same pattern every time.
00:18:02
Speaker
So feel your feelings.
00:18:03
Speaker
It's okay to not be okay.
00:18:05
Speaker
It is.
00:18:07
Speaker
And I think the biggest one for me is
00:18:10
Speaker
you have to be able to forgive yourself and start looking at yourself and loving yourself again before you can even think about finding someone else.
00:18:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:20
Speaker
That's it.
00:18:20
Speaker
And that's huge.
00:18:21
Speaker
And it's as simple as that.
00:18:22
Speaker
We make it complex because we want things to be a certain way, but certain relationships serve a purpose.
00:18:29
Speaker
Some people come in your life for a reason, a season, and some maybe a lifetime.
00:18:35
Speaker
But if you're willing to do the work, you have the willingness to succeed and become your best self.
00:18:40
Speaker
And we all deserve to heal.
00:18:42
Speaker
We all deserve to feel good.
00:18:44
Speaker
And we all deserve to forgive ourselves.
00:18:47
Speaker
I think one of the biggest things too that I've stopped doing actively is storytelling, right?
00:18:53
Speaker
Is like meeting someone for the first time and being like, oh, yeah, maybe they do fit.
00:18:56
Speaker
Maybe they do check boxes.
00:18:57
Speaker
Maybe we can date.
00:18:58
Speaker
Maybe they can meet my parents.
00:18:59
Speaker
Maybe they would fit in with my friends.
00:19:00
Speaker
Like, it is creating.
00:19:03
Speaker
I think, you know, stories in my mind when I meet people, whether they be good or bad about what they think about me or what we might be able to do in the future.
00:19:10
Speaker
And you can't like, people aren't like a TV or a couch.
00:19:14
Speaker
You can't have expectations and knowing where they're going to be or how they're going to work, right?
00:19:18
Speaker
Like, so when you set expectations on people in the future, they're invariably going to let you down.
00:19:23
Speaker
And it only sets you up for pain and heartbreak because no one, even if you told me how you felt, I can't know that's true for sure.
00:19:32
Speaker
So I can only be present in the moment and not think about all the things that may or may not happen in the future.
00:19:39
Speaker
And the truth to it all is that nobody
00:19:43
Speaker
is their behavior.
00:19:44
Speaker
Their behavior is learned or it's triggered or initiated from the emotional state that they are in.
00:19:52
Speaker
If they're unhappy, if they're angry, maybe you caught them at a bad time.
00:19:56
Speaker
But that's not who they really are.
00:19:58
Speaker
They're just in that space where it's uncomfortable.
00:20:00
Speaker
They had a bad year, there's been a bad week, and you got a part of that energy.
00:20:05
Speaker
And you thought they were worth.
00:20:06
Speaker
Like, no.
00:20:07
Speaker
They're a person.
00:20:08
Speaker
They're humans.
00:20:09
Speaker
They make mistakes.
00:20:11
Speaker
It just didn't work out.
00:20:12
Speaker
It's OK.
00:20:13
Speaker
yeah and i think that like i've had to learn that i've had to learn to be able to love myself enough for it to actually be okay before it was like if i'm not with this person i'm not gonna be okay like i love this person they love me i'm not okay without this person
00:20:33
Speaker
And I think that that feeling and inability to love myself enough for it to be OK for whatever to happen, because if you love yourself enough, like you mentioned, like if they're here for a day or a week, if you love yourself enough to know that you're going to be fine no matter what,
00:20:47
Speaker
then you can really enjoy that one day.
00:20:51
Speaker
You can really enjoy that one week or that lifetime with someone.
00:20:53
Speaker
But you have to be able to be OK knowing that if they come in for a day and walk out the door, you're going to be OK.
00:20:59
Speaker
And I didn't feel that way because I didn't love myself enough.
00:21:01
Speaker
And so I held on to these women, even when it was damaging for both of us.
00:21:05
Speaker
Because I was so scared that that love they had for me would walk out because I didn't have enough love for myself.
Growth, Reflection, and Transformation
00:21:12
Speaker
So I held on and I held on and I held on.
00:21:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:14
Speaker
And that's powerful, man.
00:21:17
Speaker
It's such an amazing thing where you can heal and you can learn from your pain and your past mistakes and you can be in it or you can be out of it and say, man, I appreciate that girl so much because she made me a man.
00:21:31
Speaker
She made me look at my shit.
00:21:32
Speaker
She leveled me up emotionally.
00:21:34
Speaker
Oh, I wish I could tell her.
00:21:35
Speaker
I know she's married.
00:21:42
Speaker
You did me a favor.
00:21:43
Speaker
So I just want to say thank you for your experiences.
00:21:48
Speaker
I think you've grown a lot and there's more to it.
00:21:52
Speaker
You know, the more we know, the more we grow.
00:21:55
Speaker
And I feel like this side of Iggy is what the world needs to see and understand.
00:22:01
Speaker
Because the other side is cool, but the other side is not as authentic as this Iggy that I'm talking to right now.
00:22:08
Speaker
Because this Iggy, I can call it Iggy.
00:22:10
Speaker
I'm in a relationship.
00:22:12
Speaker
I feel like I'm overanalyzing.
00:22:13
Speaker
What do you think I should do?
00:22:18
Speaker
um instead of me like hey i'm trying to go to the super bowl you got tickets oh man i mean and honestly man like i feel different and and parts of me it's so funny like parts of me almost doesn't buy it wow like and like and that's that like that's the part i'm still working through right it's like
00:22:44
Speaker
I've been so good at like selling myself a certain way that now that I actually truly start to, am feeling a little different about myself and how I interact with people, I almost kind of look at myself sideways like, am I really, is this really me?
00:23:00
Speaker
Like, am I really changing this way?
00:23:01
Speaker
I almost don't buy my own throat if I'm being honest sometimes.
00:23:06
Speaker
It's hard.
00:23:07
Speaker
And that's the thing about success and elevating and evolving.
00:23:10
Speaker
It's scary because it's different.
00:23:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:13
Speaker
Not the same.
00:23:14
Speaker
Well, I'm not going to change.
00:23:16
Speaker
You have to change to become your best self.
00:23:18
Speaker
You can't stay the same.
00:23:20
Speaker
Right.
00:23:20
Speaker
And it's okay to change.
00:23:21
Speaker
Change is necessary for anyone.
00:23:23
Speaker
But yeah, man, it's a miracle season.
00:23:26
Speaker
You know what's funny?
00:23:27
Speaker
That is what it's miracle season is about.
00:23:31
Speaker
The metamorphosis, going through a transitional phase, transformation, going through something to get somewhere to be something else that you wasn't before for the benefit of your life.
00:23:42
Speaker
That's what a miracle season is.
00:23:43
Speaker
That's what happened to me.
00:23:45
Speaker
And as I continue to evolve,
00:23:47
Speaker
It's still work to do.
00:23:48
Speaker
So like I said, Iggy, man, I love you, man.
00:23:51
Speaker
Love you too.
00:23:52
Speaker
Anytime you want to talk again, we can get back on.
00:23:55
Speaker
I got your number.
00:23:56
Speaker
I can hit you.
00:23:58
Speaker
Maybe you should start a talk show on podcast.
00:24:01
Speaker
Don't tell nobody I told you that.
00:24:05
Speaker
Talk to Iggy,
Wrapping Up with Encouragement
00:24:06
Speaker
you know?
00:24:06
Speaker
Hey, man.
00:24:07
Speaker
I mean, honestly, man, like I told you I wanted to do this.
00:24:11
Speaker
And I don't mean it to sound in any way disingenuous, but
00:24:16
Speaker
like again i was the last person that i would have thought to have done this work and like not to be cheeky but like if i can do this like like anybody you just gotta start you gotta start there you go you gotta start and you gotta keep going and you'll be feeling great so i'm here i appreciate you if you need anything call me thank you bro stay strong this is gonna go up on my page today so people
00:24:41
Speaker
We'll see this.
00:24:43
Speaker
Share it.
00:24:45
Speaker
We on, man.
00:24:45
Speaker
I love you, brother.
00:24:46
Speaker
Be safe.
00:24:46
Speaker
I love you too, bro.
00:24:47
Speaker
Good to see you, man.
00:24:48
Speaker
Stay strong.
00:24:49
Speaker
Later, bro.
00:24:51
Speaker
Later.
00:24:52
Speaker
Iggy.
00:24:52
Speaker
Yeah, guys.
00:24:54
Speaker
So that's it.
00:24:56
Speaker
Iggy.
00:24:57
Speaker
I met him on TV.
00:24:59
Speaker
Bachelorette season 13.
00:25:00
Speaker
Her true Lindsay.
00:25:01
Speaker
Shouts out to her.
00:25:04
Speaker
And we all go through different phases in life.
00:25:07
Speaker
We're all evolving.
00:25:10
Speaker
And he's evolving and he's learning and he's changing and he's becoming who he needs to be for him.
00:25:16
Speaker
and not a relationship with someone else.
00:25:17
Speaker
So take note of that.
00:25:20
Speaker
Take some notes from this.
00:25:21
Speaker
I'll put this up on my page.
00:25:23
Speaker
Give us some feedback.
00:25:24
Speaker
DM him.
00:25:26
Speaker
Follow him.
00:25:26
Speaker
His Instagram is iggy__rodriguez.
00:25:30
Speaker
And strive for greatness.
00:25:32
Speaker
Be your best self.
00:25:32
Speaker
Love yourself.
00:25:34
Speaker
And keep going.
00:25:35
Speaker
I'm out.
00:25:36
Speaker
Peace and love.
00:25:37
Speaker
Stay strong.