Transcript
Speaker: Welcome friends to another episode of life's effin nuts. I'm your host JR. Life's effin nuts.
Speaker: One man's stories and ruminations on being human in an upside down world. Let's begin the show.
Speaker: oh gosh.
Speaker: i I guess I always like to, when I, when I first start the recording,
Speaker: I always like to ham it up for some reason. I went through a long stretch of time where I would do audio journaling every day. Quote unquote audio journaling.
Speaker: Basically, i would just talk into a recorder for the first, I don't know, 10, 15, 20 minutes of the day. Just trying to gather my thoughts, talk through things.
Speaker: And almost always when I first started my recording,
Speaker: would just play around with my voice. Because I guess it felt it would it would feel so... i The way I'm wired, i chafe against repetition and monotony. Maybe most of us are like this, but the idea of like starting the recording the exact same way every single time,
Speaker: it like I don't know. it's like It's an assault to my creative system. And it even reminds me back when I used to be a bike taxi driver, pedicab driver in San Francisco.
Speaker: I was always kind of astounded ah at the my fellow my co-workers, my fellow drivers, who could just have the same conversations every single ride, every single day. Because conversations often...
Speaker: took on ah very familiar pattern.
Speaker: It
Speaker: it was almost shocking how how boring and predictable and monotonous the conversations could be. The passengers would say like, so how long you been doing this?
Speaker: And the the thing we'd hear most often, i guess you don't have to go to the gym.
Speaker: Where are you from? you live in the city? so do you guys rent these cabs? Like, this is the same series of questions again and again and again and again. And some drivers, i i you know, would overhear different conversations. Some drivers...
Speaker: seemed like could just have the same conversation again and again and again and for me i can't do this i cannot have the same conversation 30 times a day five times a week i just can't do it and just can't do it so i would start to just be super playful and creative i would i would
Speaker: At one point, i would just create fictional answers and fictional characters just to keep things fresh. People would be like, so where are you from? And I'd be like, from Sitka, Alaska, whatever.
Speaker: So, yeah, whatever. this just the think And also, what I'm noticing about these recordings, I almost always start with some kind of meta-analysis, which... I imagine it's very boring for my friends out there in podcast land, my probably two to three people out there who are listening to this.
Speaker: the old The old JR meta-analysis.
Speaker: The old JR meta-analysis.
Speaker: And I think the other trend that I'm noticing is that I start the podcast with a very particular thing that in mind that I want to talk about.
Speaker: But then there's like three or four other things that come up in the meta analysis that I want to talk about. And so then I just start talking about those things and then like, oh yeah, but that this episode's about this other thing.
Speaker: I really wonder, like ah i i'm as I've mentioned, if you've if you've been listening, I'm not checking the stats at all. I have no idea. If no, zero people listening to these five people, 10 people, 20 people.
Speaker: I can't imagine it's much more than 20 because my audience just never got that big. I think at at at the most I had like a hundred people listening per episode or something like that.
Speaker: So i have no idea. and And if there are two or three people out there, five people, ten people who continue to tune in, that's very fascinating to me.
Speaker: I guess I'm curious. like To me, like it this seems very absurd.
Speaker: Me just talking into a microphone somewhat aimlessly without much of a direction or like a cohesive brand or narrative or theme.
Speaker: It's just like JR's Hamster Wheel. We should rename the podcast JR's Hamster Wheel. um Yeah, subjectively, I'm like, this is what ah I don't even really know what I'm doing. though The only reason I'm doing it is because, as I've mentioned, that I just genuinely do get energized by talking. I just like talking and I and i like the idea of putting stuff out there and and just seeing maybe if something like resonates or lands. There's something interesting about that. And that that's actually the
Speaker: The meta-analysis theme that I wanted to touch on before I get into my non-meta-analysis theme.
Speaker: There's some... and i'm i'm not the only one because I think this is a phenomenon. you know There's like the message in the bottle phenomenon. There's something
Speaker: kind of magical about...
Speaker: sending something out into the world or the universe or whatever and not knowing where it's going to land, how it's going to land, if it's going to land. I think there's something really... don't even know what the word is. like I don't even know what the word is. ah you know um I tend to think of myself as a wordsmith, but I don't even know what the word is. like like what's what What would you guys tell me? like that The message in the bottle phenomenon where you...
Speaker: you know, put, put in some secret message into a bottle and then just put it out in the ocean and you don't know where it's going to go. Like what, what is the thrill? What is the draw with that? There's something about that.
Speaker: Like the mist, the great mystery, the unknown, the the chance that, that that message will travel far and wide and, um,
Speaker: reach someone in this very mysterious way there's something interesting about that and it it even reminds me a little bit think if i recall like we humans have like put caps like created little capsules with like different earth things like records and books and things like that and just sent them out into space if i if i recall that's like a thing just not knowing where it will land, where will end up. There's so there's something about like the the mysteriousness and the vastness and the unknownness of that the that I think compels people
Speaker: and definitely compels me and has always compelled me. And I think the earliest version of that for me was letter writing, which I've shared about.
Speaker: Like I got in into letter writing, I think when I was probably 20 or something like that. And as I've shared in the past, I was, as I've shared probably a million times, you guys are probably sick and tired of hearing me say it, how anachronistic I was.
Speaker: Okay, JR, you're so anachronistic. Whatever. i don't know. i Like I said, I do wear it a little bit like of a badge of honor. I think it's kind of cool that I've been ah so resistant to the tide of conformity.
Speaker: But as I've shared many times, in 2004, I lived in this small studio apartment in Rochester, New York. And
Speaker: i was like, I guess I was kind of like Amish in some ways in the in the sense of like not participating in mainstream culture or the technology of mainstream culture, at least.
Speaker: You know, i i I had no phone. I had no television. i had no internet. I had no computer. And at that point, I literally had no phone. i didn't have like a flip phone or anything. I had no phone. I didn't have a phone.
Speaker: um And, you know, from that space of just
Speaker: you know I think the norm is hyper-connectivity. This is 20 years ago, though, so what the hyper-connectivity wasn't as strong, but I think at that point, 20 years ago, most people, I think, had their own laptop.
Speaker: Definitely, most people havet had a TV in their house. I assume most people had internet in their house at that point.
Speaker: um And I just had none of that. So like in ah in a world of hyper-connectivity, I was whatever the opposite of hyper is. I was... ah I don't even know what you call it. What's the opposite of hyper? I was calm connectivity. I don't know.
Speaker: ah was ah I was net negative connectivity.
Speaker: And so from that, but, but you know, I'm still a human. I'm still a social species.
Speaker: And so i i needed to find ways to connect. And sitting in my little hermit apartment,
Speaker: you know I listened to a lot of vinyl records. I had a little vinyl record player, a little portable vinyl record player. I would just constantly listen to records and that was one form of kind of connectivity for me. and like Even though it wasn't social kind like stimulation, there was an element of like cultural stimulation that like bordered on social stimulation just because i became intimate intimately familiar with the
Speaker: the things that were being sung about, the voices that I was hearing, the stories of the people who were singing the songs, et etc. um But also, ah got really into letter writing.
Speaker: Really into letter writing. out you know like ah i had what What else was I supposed to do? like i I couldn't scroll my way through my feelings or whatever, or like numb myself out with crappy TV or something like that literally had nothing to like distract myself.
Speaker: And so I would just channel all that all of that into letters. And would just write these long, long, long, long like 1,000, 2,000, 3,000 word letters in in perfect handwriting. always liked having a super steady hand. I would write very small letters and
Speaker: And one of the things that I loved about it, and shit, this is not what I i planned on talking about. I planned on talking about politics.
Speaker: At this point, maybe I'll just reserve the politics talk for another time.
Speaker: Though politics talks probably would have been more interesting.
Speaker: Welcome to JR's Hamster Wheel. where he shares his insignificant thoughts about insignificant things. Enjoy, friends. Enjoy. Enjoy insignificance of it all.
Speaker: The self-indulgence of it all. The meaninglessness of it all. The waywardness of it all. The nothingness of it all. Enjoy, my friends.
Speaker: Wherever you are right now, wherever you are headed, wherever you are coming from, enjoy, my friends. Marinate in the sounds of JR's words, his meaningless drawl.
Speaker: oh boy.
Speaker: oh my gosh. Life's effing nuts, man.
Speaker: Anyway, what I was saying is that sometimes I just got to entertain myself, man. I don't know. um And at let's ah let's pause quickly. and And as a reminder, I'm not promoting these shows at all in the least.
Speaker: So if you are one of the 0.5 people out there in the listening audience and you are entertained, which seems unlikely, but...
Speaker: In the very unlikely situation scenario where you are on the edge of your seat listening to my meaningless thoughts and words, please share with your friends. Pass this along. Let's grow this. Let's grow this grassroots organic movement that's so insignificant in its content.
Speaker: There are wars and famines and injustices and Serious existential threats and crises happening at this very moment. But no, we are going to tune in to JR's insignificant hamster wheel thought. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: oh brother. Anyway, the thing that I've been trying to say for the last two minutes but keep distracting myself with.
Speaker: is that there was something magical and special about right and he's pouring my heart into these letters. i'm Like 3,000 word letters, right? That's a lot of words. Just pouring everything. you know Like I said, I had nowhere else to put those thoughts, feelings, ideas, all of it. I just didn't have anywhere else to put it. And so I just put it all into these letters. Just pour my heart, my soul, my guts, my spirit, all of it onto the page.
Speaker: And then you know i'd fold up the paper, put it in a little envelope, lick the little sticky part on the top, paste it down really nice, slap a stamp on there, plunk it into the mailbox, and
Speaker: send it out into the world to fend for itself. And it was like it was like the message in the bottle kind of phenomenon. i didn't I mean, not fully message in the bottle because I knew where I was going to go. was sending it to a particular person, but I didn't know how long it would take to get there.
Speaker: i didn't know. but didn't even have full perspective on like what I was writing. I don't think I don't think i would like reread what I was writing before I sent it. i was just pour my soul out, let let the whole kind of energetic current just spill out onto the page. So I had no idea really even what I was writing. didn't perspective on it. I knew it was something.
Speaker: I knew that it was blood and guts, but I didn't know exactly what it was. So just sending it out there. Don't know what it what it is. Don't know how it's going to be received. Don't know if I'm going hear back. Don't know when I'll hear back.
Speaker: And there was something that I loved about that, the unknowingness of it all. Having to wait and wonder and be in the space of vacuousness.
Speaker: I think increasingly in this hyper-connected world, people want certainty. They don't want to wait. They don't want to wonder.
Speaker: People want certainty.
Speaker: And hyper-connectivity, hyper-convenience
Speaker: allows for that or at least allows for the illusion of that. we We don't generally have, these days, we don't have to wait for anything. You press a button on your phone and you have food at your door in 15 minutes or whatever.
Speaker: We don't have to wait for anything. We don't have to be in that vaster space.
Speaker: But I think something's lost. Yeah, I said it. I think something's lost.
Speaker: In the absence of vastness.
Speaker: I think it's good to not know sometimes. To have to wait. To put a message in a bottle. With a hope and a prayer and a thought and a vision.
Speaker: You know what I mean, man?
Speaker: know what I mean? Shoot. Shoot.
Speaker: I've been reading this book recently called Blood and Thunder.
Speaker: Which is kind of like a history of the the early West. Early in the sense of when European white settlers were kind of moving westward in the United States.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: It's a fascinating book for a million reasons, but one of the things that it's like, oh yeah, like back then,
Speaker: new it took time for news to travel.
Speaker: Like there's there's this one story of this guy, Kit Carson, who he had a very important message about kind of some of the military developments in Los Angeles.
Speaker: And it was his job to travel all the way back across the country to Washington to give an update, I think to the president, about what had happened. was like, wow, yeah, like
Speaker: in our not so distant past, humans... We had to wait. We didn't have all the information at our fingertips at every single second at hyper speeds.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: Wait, wait, wait, wait. what What's the point here? I don't know. I don't know. You know me just riffing away, riffing away. no direction home, baby.
Speaker: Just riffing away.
Speaker: Oh, I know what the point is. I know what the point is, but the point is not that important because, again, the general gist of of the Life's F and not the podcast at this point is meaninglessness.
Speaker: But basically the point is that, and this whole episode, of course, turned out to be just like yet another meta-analysis, but that I kind of see this current podcast effort as a little bit of a return to the message in the bottle phenomenon. Because like I said, literally, I'm not checking any metrics. I have no idea if anyone's listening.
Speaker: I'm not promoting in any way, shape or form. So I'm just sending out messages in a bottle to to go fend for themselves. I like i don't know. yeah I'm just sending it out in the world and I have no idea if it's reaching anyone, who it's reaching, how it's reaching them, if it's going to have any cascading domino effect. like you know because our our butter butterfly i've I'm always fascinated by butterfly effect and causality.
Speaker: like Obviously, nothing I'm saying is going to create like a physical causality but who knows like something i say could trigger a thought in a person and then that thought could trigger another thought in another person and then that thought could finally trigger an action in another person and that action could trigger another action in another person and before you know it this little message in a bottle has changed the world and brought us to a higher plane of existence as a human species i'm just joking that that was a joke kind of
Speaker: Anyway, so here I am, message in a bottle, message in a bottle. And I think I didn't intend to speak on this aspect of it, but I do think that message of the important, I don't know if it's the importance, but the value, the overlooked value of not knowing and how that's in mainstream hyper-connected culture likely being lost entirely.
Speaker: having to exist in the space of not knowing, that's the message. but let's not Hey, friends out there, friends out there in life's effing nuts land, let's try not to lose that.
Speaker: Let's try to sit with the unknowing a little bit, okay? That's my invitation to you, my friends. Sit with the unknowing.
Speaker: Step away from the hyperconnectivity for a minute.
Speaker: That's it. That's all. See you later, friends. I'm JR, Life's 7 Nuts. Bye.
