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Ah, I Figured Life Out 😇
20 Plays1 month ago
Kind of...LOL
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Transcript
Introduction: Life's Effin' Nuts
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome friends to another episode of Life's Effin' Nuts.
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm your host, JR. Life's Effin' Nuts, one man stories and ruminations on being human in an upside down world. Life's Effin' Nuts is brought to you by... No, I'm just joking. There's no ads. There's no sponsors.
Setting the Scene: Berkeley's Gloomy Day
00:00:29
Speaker
Happy Monday, friends.
00:00:32
Speaker
Kind of gloomy and overcast over here in Berkeley, California. Gloomy and overcast. Gray, dreary. Perfect summer day in Berkeley, California.
00:00:45
Speaker
No summertime vibes at all, man.
00:00:50
Speaker
Gray, dreary, cold wintertime vibes in Berkeley, California.
The Power of a Positive Mindset
00:01:05
Speaker
Alright, so today I want to talk about mindset. Mindset, man. Mindset. Mindset.
00:01:16
Speaker
How's your mindset today, friends?
00:01:21
Speaker
I'm someone who...
00:01:24
Speaker
I'm pretty hungry to to grow and to you know be empowered and live a life that's reflective of my values. you know i i want to have a good life.
00:01:44
Speaker
And so that means i've I've done a whole bunch of different things to try to improve myself.
00:01:52
Speaker
to try to work through any kind of blockages I have within myself. So, you know, I've done therapy, I've worked with life coaches, I've read all kinds of books, self-help and personal growth books, things like that.
00:02:09
Speaker
And one thing that consistently comes up as far as a tool to have a better life is mindset.
00:02:18
Speaker
like Like the way that you think.
00:02:24
Speaker
And at times I've been like, okay, I get that. That's awesome. like I want to be someone with a good mindset. you know i want to intentionally make the choice to be grateful, to focus on the positives, to focus on what is working, to focus on hope and possibility. It's an attractive idea.
00:02:48
Speaker
And so throughout the years, I've gone through periods where I'll experiment with that.
00:02:54
Speaker
Whether it's doing like a daily gratitude list or having a mantra or writing down affirmations. I've i've tried many different ways of doing it.
00:03:07
Speaker
And for me, after like the initial surge of inspiration,
00:03:16
Speaker
it inevitably has plateaued or catered. Cratered, not catered, sorry, cratered.
00:03:27
Speaker
Eventually, i get to a place where i'm like, this is stupid. well
00:03:33
Speaker
It's too tiring to try to force myself to be positive. I'm not a positive person or something like that.
00:03:45
Speaker
I reserve the right to be bitter and miserable.
00:03:53
Speaker
and Then I just kind of let it go. and I kind of be like i kind of say to myself, well you know what i'm i can't I just don't want to force things. i'm just gonna not going to like I'll be mindful of if I'm being negative or if I'm stuck in negative thinking, but I'm not going to have this obsessive
00:04:11
Speaker
obsessive
00:04:15
Speaker
um willful approach to having positive mindset. I'm just going to let things flow. i'm just going to aim for finding flow, finding things that naturally energize me so that I'm naturally optimistic and positive. I'm not i'm not going to force things.
00:04:37
Speaker
You guys with me so far?
00:04:40
Speaker
Yeah? You all with me? You all with me? You with me, my friends? Are you with me, my friends? Are you with me, my friends?
Adventures of 2004: A Journey Across the US
00:04:50
Speaker
I'm with me.
00:04:55
Speaker
And so yesterday, um um I'm going to tell a little story that drives home the point of what I'm trying to say.
00:05:06
Speaker
and So let's let's actually, not we're not going to start yesterday. We're going to start back like 2004. two thousand and four 2004, I was traveling throughout the country, kind of in my Jack Kerouac beatnik days. You know, i really wanted to be just like Jack Kerouac, follow in his footsteps, hitchhike across the country, take buses and trains, ah be a rucksack wanderer, as he called it.
00:05:35
Speaker
A rucksack wanderer. So I had my little backpack, had my long shaggy hair hair, my beard, my little corduroy cap, and I I traveled throughout the country and I landed in New York City summer of 2004. And four
00:05:52
Speaker
and almost immediately upon arriving in the city, I saw bike taxis zipping around and i was like, Ooh, that looks fun. And so I actually got a job as a bike taxi driver for that summer.
00:06:05
Speaker
And I loved it. I loved it. I knew i didn't, I really didn't know very much about the city. I didn't even know really how to get around. But, and also like, as I've shared in previous episodes, at that age, I was very kind of weird and out there and awkwardly. I mean, literally, I'm traveling around the country with a backpack on my shoulders and shaggy hair and didn't wear deodorant. I was a weird guy. And also very kind of socially awkward. I was not comfortable with people.
00:06:34
Speaker
But even in in the the bowels of my existence, the depth ah are the like the darkest moments of my life, essentially.
00:06:47
Speaker
Once I was on that bike and in the middle of a crowd of people in Times Square, whatever it was, thousands and thousands of people, i came alive.
The Joy of Pedicabbing: Physical Exertion and Connection
00:06:57
Speaker
Like I just, something about being in the middle of a crowd of people with energy and money flowing around and just so many different types of people, i it it awakens me.
00:07:17
Speaker
And so I had a great time that summer pedicabbing. And you I was pedicabbing and I was like sleeping in like parks and squares for the most part.
00:07:28
Speaker
So I was like, you know, a real kind of Jack Kerouac acolyte.
00:07:35
Speaker
And there was just something i just there was just something about being out there hustling. I just there's something about it that I loved.
00:07:47
Speaker
And then throughout my life, i've I've kind of done different things that are like that, you know, street performing. ah just I just like big crowds.
00:07:58
Speaker
And then in 2012, I
00:08:02
Speaker
i was working on ah project called Beyond This Prison, and I needed some income, some revenue while I was working on this community project.
00:08:14
Speaker
And I saw a bunch of pedicabbers, bike taxi drivers down in San Francisco. I was like, oh, i like eight years ago, I loved that. I wonder if i wouldd still like it.
00:08:24
Speaker
So I started pedicabbing. And sure enough, loved it. Loved it. Loved it. So much fun, especially like at that point in my life, I was a little bit younger.
00:08:38
Speaker
Like I said, I had a lot of passion projects and art projects and community things that I was working on. So like it was a good blend. I had like my sense of purpose and my sense of meaning through my community projects. And then i had my, my pedicab hustle.
00:08:58
Speaker
And throughout the years, I still, I'm older now and I'm not dependent on Pedicab for money, but throughout the years, ah just kind of miss it a little sometimes from time to time.
00:09:11
Speaker
just miss being out there. I just miss being in those huge crowds, moving my body to that extent, being outside, hustling, having the money flow.
00:09:22
Speaker
i just I enjoy that. and It makes me feel alive.
00:09:29
Speaker
And so recently I had a little bit of the itch and I was like, you know what? I'm going to, I want to go do a few, few pedicab shifts. You know, it's it's always nice to like bring in a little extra revenue. Like that doesn't hurt. It's fun just to have some extra money coming in.
00:09:45
Speaker
Um, and then on like a spiritual and emotional and psychological level, it's, it's hugely beneficial for me. it's just, I is, you know, Often, often in life, I'm the kind of guy, unfortunately, it's real easy for me to kind of get stuck in my head.
00:10:08
Speaker
Or to kind of get in this place where I'm going through the motions. It's fairly easy for me to get into that place. i can I kind of like...
00:10:20
Speaker
what ah Sometimes, even though... What am I trying to say? I default to often default to structure and schedules and order.
00:10:36
Speaker
Like I default to that. Like I like, I i want to wake up early every morning and I want to have my morning routine I want to have my work routine. ah default to that and it's fine. It's like, it's good to have those kinds of structures.
00:10:53
Speaker
And if I'm not careful, I can get so structured that it sort of squeezes and constricts my soul. I've talked about this a little bit.
00:11:03
Speaker
And so being out on the pedicab, it's on the bike taxi. We call it pedicab, bike taxi, whatever you want to call it.
00:11:10
Speaker
It's just good for my soul. stirs things up.
00:11:17
Speaker
And so, yeah, I've been out there a few days recently. And it's been a while. It's been a few years since I've been out there. And pretty quickly, I i got back into the flow and back into the groove of it.
00:11:32
Speaker
And remembered very quickly why I loved it so much. And I still, it' like it's like ah it's like, I love people. All day long, I'm just connecting with people and talking with people and being of service to people.
00:11:47
Speaker
um Entertaining people, bringing joy to people. just very, very spiritually and relationally fulfilling in that way. And then, like I said, for me, there's a huge physical component. and I grew up as an athlete. i I love engaging my whole body, being embodied, heart pumping, blood pumping through the the veins and the arteries, just coursing through my body. Yeah.
00:12:18
Speaker
Breath, deep breath, you know, breathing heavy all day.
00:12:25
Speaker
love that. Sweating, sweat just pouring down me. Sunshine glistening on my skin.
00:12:36
Speaker
Muscles just activated and engaged. It's a great feeling. It's a great feeling. You i think culturally... We have such a ah sedentary existence. them or For most of us, the mainstream existence. It's so sedentary.
00:12:54
Speaker
and And don't... It's probably not that natural for us. We're animals, man. We're animals. Like we, you know... We need we need that experience that I just described.
00:13:07
Speaker
That full-bodied experience.
00:13:11
Speaker
It's the kind of our natural state. We're animals, man.
00:13:16
Speaker
So yeah, I love it. I love it.
Mindset Shift: Gratitude and Service
00:13:21
Speaker
It's a lot of fun. And I intend to you know do it when whenever I have the time to to get out there and do it.
00:13:29
Speaker
um And something something particularly interesting happened yesterday. And this is why I was talking about mindset. You'll you'll see what i'm where I'm going with this.
00:13:39
Speaker
So even though I've you know loved pedicabbing for 21 years now, you know on and off for 21 years,
00:13:48
Speaker
i I realized something for the first time ever yesterday, 21 years into my experience.
00:13:56
Speaker
So I'm out there. Yesterday was a Sunday. And it was it was a gray, dreary, windy San Francisco day.
00:14:08
Speaker
and And where we pedicab is down on the water. And so you really get the fog coming in. You get the wind.
00:14:19
Speaker
And when I first got out there, i was like, man, to you know today might be a slow day
00:14:30
Speaker
in terms of business. And for as much as I love pedicapping, it can also be kind of emotionally intense.
00:14:41
Speaker
Like slow days can be very painful. You're just like out there. Sometimes like you might go an hour without a ride or something like that.
00:14:55
Speaker
Just people ignoring you or saying no again and again and again. Maybe sometimes sometimes you're cruising around up and down the Embarcadero just hopelessly. feel you feels totally futile.
00:15:09
Speaker
you're like You're like, what am I doing? like It amplifies a lot amplifies a lot of for me at least, a lot of thoughts and feelings. And it's a very energetic kind of job.
00:15:23
Speaker
Like when you have a good flow of energy, man, that thing starts flowing in a good direction. But when you have a bad flow of energy, for me at least, my my thoughts, you know like existentially, I can get very dark. I'm like, what is the point? what What is the meaning of life? What is the point of my existence? Like it's kind of, you know, intense.
00:15:44
Speaker
And so i I kind of felt like, oh, man, that like even though I've really been enjoying this, I've been doing this for whatever the last couple of weeks. i've I've done a few shifts. I'm like, oh man, today could be an existentially dark day. and
00:16:04
Speaker
as I'm sort of cruising around, I'm like, you know what?
00:16:09
Speaker
um I'm just going to, and I wasn't trying to force this. This just came up naturally. I like i was like, you know what? I'm going to be grateful no matter what I make today. Again, thankfully, I'm not um dependent on pedicab income at this point. I have other work and other income. So this is more like side cash.
00:16:29
Speaker
um Nevertheless, i still I still like to have a good day and make good money. um But i you know I said to myself, you know what? Whatever I make today, I'm going to be grateful.
00:16:41
Speaker
if If I only make 20 bucks, that's $20 that I did not have yesterday. I'm going to be grateful. I'm going very grateful for it.
00:16:50
Speaker
You know, like,
00:16:55
Speaker
you know, previously my thinking might've been like, man, 20 bucks is nothing. Like, what what am I going to do with 20 bucks?
00:17:03
Speaker
You know, like that's, like that what a What an impoverished day. 20 bucks? And so that's like one mindset.
00:17:15
Speaker
But yesterday I was just like, that's 20 bucks I didn't have before. and and i And money, for me, I believe like money's energy. So it's a little it's a little spark of energy. it might not be a lot of energy, but it's something.
00:17:25
Speaker
I can build off of that. I can take that energy and build on the momentum. Or I could, you know...
00:17:33
Speaker
Save that 20 bucks and save that, you know, over the course of six months, if I save 20 bucks every every few days and then invest that in some company and then hit it big. Like
00:17:46
Speaker
something is better than nothing. That's how i was thinking yesterday, at least. And it was new. Like I said, normally I'd be like, man, this is awful or whatever. And so I very intentionally made that decision.
00:17:59
Speaker
And like I said, in 21 years of pedicabbing, I'd never done that ever. I'd always had some of like this anxiety like, man, i i want to hit I better hit my numbers today.
00:18:12
Speaker
like it better be a good day. like If it's not a good day, I'm going feel bummed out. First time ever, I'm going to be grateful. No matter what, going to be grateful. If I make $20, it's $20 I didn't have yesterday.
Real-Time Application of Mindset Principles
00:18:26
Speaker
and so As soon as I made that decision...
00:18:32
Speaker
I relaxed a lot in my thinking. I just I felt better.
00:18:38
Speaker
And.
00:18:41
Speaker
The second thing I did, i was just like. I'm out here to be of service. I'm not trying to force anyone to take a ride. Not trying to con anyone into getting into my cab.
00:18:55
Speaker
I'm not trying to go against the ways of nature. Because nature does have a way.
00:19:05
Speaker
I'm just out here for the people who need a ride, who who could benefit from a ride, whether they're an older person who has a hip replacement and they could really use a ride, whether it's a young family who needs a break from dragging their kids down the Embarcadero, whether it's ah a romantic couple celebrating their anniversary. I'm just out here to be of service.
00:19:37
Speaker
And so I kind of lock those two mindsets in grateful no matter what I make. I'm just out here to be of service. And I even started, for me, like i'm ah i'm ah ah you know I'm a language person. So I'm always messing around with like the way that I'm talking to potential customers out there, always. like I'm always playing around with new like phrases.
00:19:57
Speaker
And one thing, i again, 21 years, I've never said this phrase ever. I never even thought this phrase. But I was just kind of cruising cruising back and forth along the Embarcadero, saying, like at your service, my friends.
00:20:13
Speaker
ah At your service, my friends. And I was you know saying it very genuine way. And the energy was good, man.
00:20:24
Speaker
it was It was kind of uncanny.
00:20:29
Speaker
Because i was getting like nonstop rides.
00:20:36
Speaker
And the way that the rides would happen. And this is something that I've definitely experienced in the past with Pedicab. Like I said, when the energy is good, some something takes over.
00:20:46
Speaker
Where I'll be dropping one person off and then like right away, these people come up to me for another ride. And then I'll drop the other people off and right away. But that only happens when the energy is good.
00:20:59
Speaker
like When the energy is bad, I can go like an hour and a half without a ride.
00:21:05
Speaker
And so
00:21:10
Speaker
i talked to a bunch of the other drivers out there yesterday and they were having terrible days. Like no one was getting rides. It was like a bad, bad, bad, bad pedicabbing day. And here I am with this mindset that I'd never thought of used before.
00:21:25
Speaker
and I have, I'm just nonstop rides, just nonstop ride after ride, after ride, after ride.
00:21:34
Speaker
And so something was definitely happening. it seemed like it. mean, it could have been totally random. That's possible. Didn't seem like it, though, because like i said, there was other cat you know a handful of other cabs out there, and they were all telling me, like, oh, man, it's a miserable day. It's too windy. It's too cold. No one's taking rides.
00:21:57
Speaker
And then the last little thing...
00:22:03
Speaker
in terms of mindset,
00:22:06
Speaker
I realized, and again, I, you know, I've been pedicabbing for 21 years, never even thought about this or realized this ever, never thought about this.
00:22:20
Speaker
Throughout my whole time pedicabbing, often when I see other people with rides, other cabs, and I don't think I'm the only one who does it because i I've kind of heard, and just, you can feel that this is a thing.
00:22:34
Speaker
and When I see other people with rides kind of get jealous or resentful or like, or maybe frustrated at myself, see someone else with the ride. I'm like, damn, how the hell they get that ride?
00:22:50
Speaker
Fuck man. How'd they get that ride? Damn,
00:22:55
Speaker
man, I got it. I got to hustle harder. What's going on? Damn. That's kind of the reaction. i mean, sometimes maybe like, you know you know what, if there's like a good day where everyone, you know, just money's just flying, rides are flying, everyone's getting rides nonstop, then no, you know I don't have that experience. You just feel good. you you everyone's Everyone's getting rich. everyone Everyone's eating, as they say.
00:23:21
Speaker
But on ah on a day where, you know, things are not as,
00:23:28
Speaker
things aren't flowing as abundantly, Yeah, there's definitely that experience where you I just look at people and that and have like this negative negative negative reaction. And like I said, I'm i i'm not the only one because I hear the grumbling. I see the looks. that like It's kind of primal and competitive out there. And you know when you see someone else, it's like, oh like they got a ride. like They got a ride. That means there's less rides for me.
00:24:02
Speaker
And yesterday I was just like was like, that's a lot of negative energy for me to be holding. That every time I see someone else with a ride, I feel jealous or resentful or insecure, upset, frustrated,
00:24:17
Speaker
self-conscious. It's like a lot of negative energy.
00:24:23
Speaker
And so, again, i want to be clear. like This was all happening in a very instinctual way.
00:24:32
Speaker
like Like that's one of the things I love about pedicapping is that i I'm out there pedaling, moving, and i I become very primal. I become very instinctual.
00:24:45
Speaker
I love being instinctual. it's one of my favorite things in the world. One my favorite things in the world is to be instinctual, man. Instinctual. It's such a good feeling.
00:24:57
Speaker
Not overthinking.
00:25:01
Speaker
not stuck in my own head. Instinctual. Instinctual, man.
00:25:10
Speaker
And so all these kind of tweaks that I'm doing in my thinking, it's happening in real time.
00:25:20
Speaker
It's not forced. It's not pretentious.
00:25:27
Speaker
And so as I'm seeing, you know, Like I said, it was a really slow day for most people. And so there weren't that many rides that I was seeing. But, you know, occasionally I'd see a fellow pedicabber with a ride.
00:25:40
Speaker
And I would I would say to myself, like, yeah, get it. In my head, i you know, that means that means the money's flowing. That means the money's flowing. People are taking rides. Get it.
00:25:53
Speaker
Happy for that guy. He's getting rich. I'm going to get rich. Let's go. Let's go. Yes, things are happening. and Let's do this. He's getting paid. Let's go.
00:26:08
Speaker
And it it became kind of genuine. Like that I was just in this space of
00:26:20
Speaker
practically, I was just being practical. Like it it it made more sense for me to be positive than it did to be negative. Like I said, it was not pretentious. just made more sense to be positive. And I was like, let's that's what I'm going to do. going to be positive. going to be happy for the for them getting a ride.
00:26:41
Speaker
And so, yeah, the I mean, I guess all I'm trying to say is that it was an interesting day.
00:26:52
Speaker
read all kinds of books, worked with all kinds of coaches, tried all kinds of gratitude practices and positive mindsets, and it's never really clicked.
00:27:02
Speaker
But yesterday, was like, oh i could see I could see the power in this.
00:27:14
Speaker
I could see the power in this.
00:27:17
Speaker
Being intentional about how I'm thinking.
Conclusion: Storytelling and Positivity
00:27:22
Speaker
It just creates a better vibe, you know? ah I'll be curious to see if I can do it, you know, through the course of my normal life. Because in some ways, pedicabbing and being out there, I'm in like an altered state in some ways.
00:27:43
Speaker
And one thing that I've always, you know I've already kind of alluded to in this episode, but there's something about like just being in constant motion.
00:27:51
Speaker
that allows me to not get kind of stuck or attached to to things in a way that I normally would. You know, in my normal workday,
00:28:04
Speaker
yeah A lot of my work, I work at a co-working space, but a lot of my work is on the computer. And so it's like me and a computer. And if I, you know, if a new client doesn't like some of my work or I thought I was going to get it a new client, but it didn't come through, it's like very easy for me to attach to that, to get kind of hung up on it, get stuck in it.
00:28:30
Speaker
But yeah, there's something about pedicaping.
00:28:36
Speaker
Just keep moving, literally and figuratively. Just keep moving. Just cycle it through, literally. Cycle it through, keep moving. and So I'll be curious if I can kind of transfer some of the learnings from pedicabbing into my day-to-day.
00:28:54
Speaker
I don't know. It seems like it'll be difficult, but it's worth a shot, right?
00:29:01
Speaker
Worth a shot.
00:29:06
Speaker
Anyway, my friends,
00:29:10
Speaker
that's pretty much it. Pretty much it from your old pal JR. Pretty much it. Pretty much it. i'm I'm not out here preaching. I'm not here saying like, go be positive.
00:29:26
Speaker
Be grateful. Stop being so negative.
00:29:33
Speaker
I have no authority to say that at all. And also I just don't like preaching and proselytizing. It's not my style. You know, I'm more of a ruminator, a storyteller. I just like to just like to think about things out loud with you, my friends.
00:29:51
Speaker
That's what this is. Thinking about things out loud with my my close life's effing nuts friends and family. Yeah.
00:30:01
Speaker
right. Life's effing nuts. One-man stories and rumination of being human in an upside-down world. I'm JR. Catch you soon.