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Season 2 Episode 3: Chic Fuckery with Dr. Adrienne Russell
127 Plays4 years ago
Adrienne, a DMV native is an entrepreneur, scientist, wife, mother and lover of all things fashion. From a young age, she knew that she wanted to be apart of a mission to help others. This is what ultimately lead her to a career in healthcare.
In pursuing her passion for helping others and combining her love for fashion, she founded Chic Essentials Boutique in April 2019.
Adrienne found it important to sit down with real women, with real bodies, and ask their thoughts on what was missing from the fashion industry and other Boutiques. The number one answer was inclusivity.
Chic Essentials Boutique was birthed from her dreams of owning a fashion boutique coupled with a need that she felt and heard was missing in the Boutique industry. Chic Essentials Boutique provides inclusive and timeless fashion for women in their most memorable moments.
In her spare time you can you can find Adrienne spending time with her husband and three children, branching with girlfriends, or drinking red wine.
Find Adrienne online at http://www.instagram.com/chicessentialsboutique and shop her clothing line at https://chicessentialsboutique.com/
Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/baronessbree)
Create your podcast today! #madeonzencastr
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Transcript
Introduction to Fabulous Fuckery Podcast
00:00:14
Speaker
Welcome to Fabulous Fuckery. I'm your host, Baroness Brie. Fabulous Fuckery is your sophisticated destination for discussion on wellness, dating, family and blurred life. Come with me while we discuss emerging fabulously in spite of life's fuckery.
00:00:30
Speaker
Hello everyone, it's your girl, Baroness Brie, and we are recording today's episode of Fabulous Fuckery. Today's guest is Miss Adrienne Russell. Actually, let me correct myself. Dr. Adrienne Russell, owner of Chic Essentials Boutique based out of Bowie, Maryland. Welcome, welcome. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here.
00:00:52
Speaker
I'm excited for you
Meet Dr. Adrienne Russell: Entrepreneur & Scientist
00:00:54
Speaker
guys. Let me tell you a little bit about Miss Adrian. So not only is she like a ultra smart, bright, intelligent female, she's a DMV native who's also an entrepreneur, scientist, wife, mother of three. Is it just three? It's just three and it will only be three. There will not be any more kids.
00:01:15
Speaker
But in addition to all of these passions, she decided she wanted to open up a boutique. So I don't know how you find time to manage a full-time life, a full-time mom, full-time wife, and now you have a beautiful boutique. I'm so proud of you. She launched 2019? This past, yep, April. So about seven months in? About, yeah. So now what made you decide that you wanted to launch a clothing store?
00:01:43
Speaker
So thanks for asking that question. I actually have been wanting to launch it for at least 10 years now, actually. So I always have been really interested in fashion, especially like in high school, you know, back in those days where you kind of starting to find yourself and
00:01:59
Speaker
and figure out what your fashion is going to be. So that's when I really got into it. Once I got into undergrad, I started kind of reading more fashion magazines, getting more into editorials and really getting into the science behind the fashion per se. I know that was like a real corny joke because I'm a fuck.
00:02:16
Speaker
Science behind the fashion. And then when I got into grad school, I went here in DC to HU in 2004. That's when I was like, man, I really, I think I want to launch a fashion boutique. I want my own business. I want my own boutique. At the time I had just had my son, started grad school. It was crazy. I got pregnant again with my daughter. And then I was like, all right, bitch.
00:02:42
Speaker
Pump your brakes. You not about to have no business, two babies, that's
The Launch of Chic Essentials Boutique
00:02:47
Speaker
a little bit too much. So I really, to be honest with you, I put it on hold for years. I made so many excuses for why I wasn't gonna launch the business. I'm a mom, I'm a wife, the kids are young, I don't have time.
00:02:58
Speaker
And then, you know, eventually this year I just, I said, you know what? And it actually was last year, November. I remember it clear as day, my husband was like on the couch. So my husband guys is like a crazy freaking sports fanatic. You know how most wives get like seasons off. I don't get any damn seasons off. So anyway, he was in the room watching football. I walked in, it was in November and I was like, I'm starting my own clothing boutique. And he was like, wait a minute, say who?
00:03:24
Speaker
Like, yeah, okay, we talked about it, but like, you just, right now, I was like, yeah, I'm tired of making excuses. I'm tired of like, going back and forth about it. I'm just going, shit, I'm doing it. So he was like, all right, let's go. So I launched the boutique in April, 2019, and here I am. So really, it's been a labor of love. It's been something I've been thinking about. It's not like I woke up one day and was like, ooh, it looks hot on IG. I wanna be a boutique owner. I've been wanting to be a boutique owner before IG.
00:03:51
Speaker
So here I am now, you know, just trying to make it. So and the support has been overwhelming just from not just black women, but women in general. And really, I launched the boutique knowing that I wanted to have something that was going to be inclusive. And that's really where it came from. So a place of love wanting to help women and make women feel better about themselves and making sure that the fashion would be inclusive.
00:04:15
Speaker
So what sets your boutique apart from, you know, Jane Shmaine's? From Jane Shmaine's, we see, yeah. Well, I think number one is the inclusivity. That's really, again, what I based it on. We carry sizes small to 3XL. Okay. And they're true to size. I'm really particular about the clothing that I choose and the quality that I choose. So the secret that
00:04:39
Speaker
isn't really a secret is that most boutiques have access to the same vendors, right? So that's not something that's a big secret. I think where the difference comes in with boutiques is the quality that you choose and what vendors you go to and what relationships you build. So a lot of the vendors that I work with, they are based out of LA.
00:04:58
Speaker
Um, and I just make sure that the quality is where it needs to be and that the sizing is true to size. Like a lot of times I know what I found as a consumer with shopping and boutiques is, you know, like I'm a, I'm a curvy girl. I'm tall. I'm five eight. I got a lot of curves. I'm like a size 12. So I would think that, Oh, I can wear a size large. And then the boutique,
00:05:18
Speaker
ship the shit over from China and it's a damn extra small like you know what I mean the extra large is really a small and the 3x is really an exhale so I was dead set on that when I launched the boutique I was like I'm not doing that shit I'm not gonna have these fake sizes that aren't real size like my shit is going to be true to size so years ago like you like I got this shit in here I can't even fit here you take my leg through this
00:05:41
Speaker
size like yeah and sometimes you would try to order up like oh it's from China let me go ahead and order a size up you still can't get your damn thought through it no we're not doing that over here. Well I'm proud of you for making sure that quality is important because in the age of Fashion Nova now I will say Fashion Nova stepping up their game. Absolutely. In the beginning everybody's like oh that's Fashion Nova that's for thoughts and it's like but they're the only jeans that I can fit am I am I a thought?
00:06:07
Speaker
so you know but you know you you want to have fun and you want to look cute and
Fast Fashion vs. Timeless Style
00:06:12
Speaker
i'm like i want to look cute and then the kind of instagram boutiques kind of got overtaken because the kardashians were doing demos right like everybody wanted to be a kardashian everybody selling lip kits exactly and you're like okay let me the whole fast fashion and fashion nova got in trouble with a lot of um big celebrities like kim kardashian as well right because kim kardashian will go on the
00:06:33
Speaker
the carpet and, you know, Gucci or Prada, whatever, Givenchy, whatever it is, and then all of a sudden Fashion Nova's like remaking the dress five days later, and Kim Kardashian and a lot of these other big celebrities are like, hey, you're ruining my relationship with these big brands. Well Versace is suing them. Yes, Versace is suing, I know, exactly, I just saw that for remaking that JLo, yeah, the JLo dress. So, I mean, it's a line, but...
00:06:57
Speaker
I definitely wanted to make sure that the clothing that I selected was timeless. I'm really big on that, and that's how I dress anyway, just in my fashion sense. I want women, if they purchase something from Sheikah Central's boutique, they can reach back in their closet five years from now, and it still be relevant, right? Not like this fad shit, like whatever's going on right now. I want it to be like, whether it's a LBD, or whether it's a sweater dress, whatever it is, you can pull it out, it's still relevant. Maybe you wanna add a belt, maybe you wanna add some different accessories.
00:07:25
Speaker
but it's still relevant and it's still fly. Okay. Well, I am feeling all of that, all of that. I'm excited for you because, um, ladies and gentlemen, depending who's listening today, um, so I have known Ms. Russell now for almost 20 years.
Balancing Career and Family
00:07:41
Speaker
One, almost 20 years. Has it been 20 years? Yes. Yeah. You know, it is just crazy how you see growth in people and you see them change and you're like, because we used to be bratchet.
00:07:51
Speaker
And you know, we used to have fun. I'm so proud of you. Like, this is amazing. I am. Oh, thank you. But yeah, no. But girl, I've watched you struggle through school with a baby on your hip. You know. And some freaking babies on my hip after that. April, that was personal choices. It was. It was. I'm talking about the first one. All right, I'll take my birth control. You know, we got to take our birth control. We got to use prophylactics. You got to do all the right things. Be adherent to your medication. Whoever's listening, don't be like me. Don't do what Dr. Russell did.
00:08:20
Speaker
No, you have your babies. They're amazing. Well, culture, trying to do big things, you know. They off the hood too. But you know, they all are. You know, and then it's funny because our kids age now, what, from 18 to eight? So, no, Jurnee just turned 10 yesterday. She's double digits now. 10?
00:08:43
Speaker
Journey Russell is 10 years old. Girl, okay. So yeah, so you know, but we have this age range and so everybody kind of grew up watching other people raise other people's kids and you're like, I ain't gonna do that with my kid. You know, and so how do you, with being a mom and an entrepreneur and all of this stuff, how are you balancing motherhood and business life?
00:09:07
Speaker
It's difficult as shit. Like that's the honest answer, right? I have like great days, you know, where I'm like, I fucking killed it today. Like, you know what I mean? Like I did whatever and for work, my regular, you know, my job, my main job, and then my side hustle and I came home and I cooked dinner and you know, I got the kids and I was able to give them the attention they needed and give my husband the attention he needed. And damn, I killed it today. And the other days I'm like,
00:09:33
Speaker
you fucking suck today. Like you, you didn't execute anything today that you were supposed to. So I think it's just, um, I'm learning to not be so hard on myself. I'm very self critical. Always have been even as a young child, like, you know, dry, I have a large amount of drive and ambition and always wanting to, you know, just
00:09:53
Speaker
execute goals and I have like a list of things that I want to get done and if I can't check everything off on that list I go nuts and you know my husband's been a great balance to that because he would say to me all the time like shit is not always gonna go according to plan like you have a plan and if it doesn't go according to your plan you go berserk and you can't do that so I forget that I was one of your bridesmaids right you were
00:10:16
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay, okay, but anyway. I seen it for a second. But you know what, we have an expectation for ourselves. Right, and you have a vision, and I think for me, it's becoming easier, especially now that I'm an entrepreneur and I realize shit really ain't gonna always go your way. It's not. But I haven't been in this entrepreneurial space, right?
00:10:34
Speaker
I was used to, you know, doing, like, I'm gonna go to school, and I'm gonna get my degree, then I'm gonna go to grad school, then I'm gonna get my doctorate, then I'm gonna get a job, and I'm gonna make great money, and I'm gonna be successful. Everything has kind of gone according to plan, right? But now I decided to step out on faith and become an entrepreneur, and now I'm like, holy shit. Like, this, this, it isn't planned. Like, you gotta grind every day. You don't really necessarily know whether it's gonna go your way, and you gotta be able to pivot quick.
00:11:02
Speaker
So, I'll say that I'm learning and I'm growing, and I'm just learning not to be so hard
Self-Care and Personal Growth
00:11:08
Speaker
on myself. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Like, one question I ask everybody is, what is your show? I love that you ask that. Because what are you? It's important. It's important because I can tell you right now that there have been times where I'm like, I ain't recording no podcast episode, I ain't got time, I don't care, ain't nobody gonna listen to it, and then I get people DMing me like, we behind. Yep, I was about to say, be quiet, you got me like,
00:11:28
Speaker
Bree, when the next episode coming out, girl, you seen all the new episodes. Let me get it together. So I have a bunch in the can. They're being edited. We're about to relaunch. But what's crazy is that you don't realize your impact on another person until they say something to you.
00:11:45
Speaker
And you know, you'll be out here and you don't want people to think that I'm out here being conceited. Oh, I did another photo shoot. Why should you keep taking pictures every week? You know, people just look at it and they don't realize it's branding. Right. That it's a business and you have to say, OK, let me take a step back because you will burn yourself out. And they don't know everything that goes into it. Right. They see these gorgeous pictures of whatever online or IG and they don't realize that was like a four hour photo shoot or you were twirling. My husband been running around with his iPhone 11 during foot girl. He has cursed me out on so many Sundays, football Sundays. I mean, you know,
00:12:15
Speaker
lovingly cursing because it's a part of you making a check. He told me like look we gotta stop scheduling these photo shoots on Sunday okay like I love you I know you got a business but we gonna have to figure this one out because it's football Sunday and I'm like yeah but that's the only day I'm available. But anyway back to your question self care.
00:12:30
Speaker
So I regularly get my nails done, you know, every two weeks. I get my hair done once a month. So I try to keep myself up and looking nice. Also like for a branding perspective too, right? You can't be looking raggedy and you talking about something, you own a boutique and do you want to come and buy fashion with me and you don't necessarily look fashionable at night. So I try to keep myself up. One thing that I'm going to start doing more of, or I want to start adding more into my
00:12:59
Speaker
exercise regimen or whatever is yoga. Um, so I feel like I need to meditate more and I don't know be one with the fucking earth or something. I don't know. Like, I don't even know. Like I don't even practice yoga. So I can't say, sorry, there's any like yogis out there listening. I'm disrespecting you. But I, you
00:13:16
Speaker
I like yoga. I need to learn more about yoga and more about meditating, and I wanna start getting massages more, just like other ways to relax. I feel like the nail and hair thing, it's a nice way for me to get away from the kids and just get away and have my me time, but I've been doing it for so long, I feel like it's become part of my regular. It is, it's part of a maintenance. Right, it's part of my maintenance, so I don't necessarily feel like it's self-care. So I would say on a scale from one to 10, I'm doing a pretty shitty job right now for self-care, probably a four.
00:13:47
Speaker
But I'm getting there. I'm getting there. And I'm aware of it. And give yourself, I always tell everyone, give yourself grace. It's all learned behaviors. I had to learn yoga. I had to learn to meditate. I have an app on my phone that makes me slow down. At my Apple watch, it gives me the ding to tell me to drink water or to breathe. So it's gotten to a point because with my day job, and then I got the jobbie, and this hobby turned into, I'm like, wait a minute, y'all demanding stuff. I'm like, you're paying to do this.
00:14:15
Speaker
So, you know, but you have to say, okay, how bad do you want to get your message out? How bad do you want to connect with other people? Because I love people. Me too. And, you know, you want to sit and you want to talk to people. And they say, you know, you're like, this could have been a goddamn podcast episode. You know, I'm not talking to people for free anymore. Hey, listen. But, you know, it gets to the point where it's like, you know, you're sitting here and you're chit-chatting with somebody and you're like,
00:14:35
Speaker
And then you can't, then they get here and they get all nervous and then it's not organic as it was when it wasn't a microphone. Well you know how I was before this interview because this is my first podcast interview you all, but yeah before I came here you know how I was like, oh my God, I don't know what you gonna ask me, what should I say? You were like, girl, bring your ass in here. And we just gonna talk and either you gonna get it or you not gonna get it. I'm not telling you what I'm asking, you gonna come in here and we gonna talk. Bro, because when you are nervous,
00:15:00
Speaker
you practice your answers and then it becomes an auto response. Like, for what I do for my day job, I have to know my automatic response because if you are misquoted, that's your ass. But if you, you know, me being myself, if I'm coming here, my name is Brie and I'm a podcast host and a creative entrepreneur.
00:15:26
Speaker
You're like, what the fuck is this dry shit? This is not the lady I met when she was acting up on the bar. So, life is more, there's a duality to all of us. So, you have your professional, then you can cold switch and do what you gotta do. We have our way of making our day job, then we gotta come home at night.
00:15:44
Speaker
You know, have fun. That's the scientist in me, right? Wanting to know, like, cause that's what I do on a daily basis. And then she's a cancer. Y'all cancer stand up. We don't come for cancers like that. Water signs. We are bomb. Oh, that's right. So don't, don't
00:16:01
Speaker
I'm a fishy fishy, but you know, I'm just, you know, but you know, I'm too, you know, you'd be like, I need you to get it together. What are you doing? What's happening? This is the Pisces getting along. My mom's a Pisces. I love Pisces. I know, but so it's good to have people in your life like an Adrienne that's like, okay, I see you doing all these things. What are you doing? It is cute. What's the purpose of these things? I'm like, cute. And I'm like, where's the coin that's actually there? And she's always been that person that's been like, oh, that's really nice, honey.
00:16:26
Speaker
So what does that do? And I'm like, I don't know. I'm just doing it because it's pretty. You know, she's watching me like I'm coming to my house like doing arts and crafts, spray painting, shit in the garage. She's like, what the fuck is this? I don't know. I just felt it. But isn't it crazy how I could be your accountability partner, but then I need you and I have other people that call me accountable. Right. You have to. And then everyone can check you in different ways. Absolutely. You know, some people just do like.
00:16:50
Speaker
And if somebody else call me bitch, I will stab you, I'm from Baltimore. So you know, it's just that whole like, who you talking to? You don't know my origin. Right, and you know, you talk to people, and my whole thing is that I meet everybody where they are. Yes. And unfortunately, some people, you have to leave them where you found them. Listen, can we get something?
00:17:07
Speaker
Snaps probably loud as hell right now, but yes girl, leave them where they at. We're in periods of growth and Adrian has been here through, I went through a crazy divorce, y'all, we'll talk about that, it's gonna be in my book. But it's just been, she was just like, I'm gonna stand back and see what happens, because it sounds real crazy right now. And then you get the text message, okay girl, all right, I see, okay, some things, okay. And it's just,
00:17:34
Speaker
It's good to have someone who is accountable and they know your character. And you know, when a person cares about you and knows your character, then you know that you're going around the right path.
Authenticity on Social Media
00:17:45
Speaker
But when you're dealing with people who just know the surface level, the IG level, you know that is just where you get into trouble because people start to feed and believe their own hype. And you know, it's like, ooh girl, I got whatever many followers on Instagram
00:17:59
Speaker
The service shit drives me crazy. But are they buying anything from you? Listen, I said that the other day, I was talking to a friend, I'm like, you know, obviously, the purpose of having a business or a platform is you want to get your platform or business in front of new eyes, right, in front of new people that wish will then probably gain more followers. But at the end of the day, is that converting to
00:18:21
Speaker
Profit right because I could have a million. I mean, you know the story about that What's the girl had a million followers? I couldn't sell a fuck couldn't sell a damn t-shirt. She sold like three t-shirts now That's that's crazy. And what's crazy? So yeah that it means nothing But also just you also there's a power in your network Not everybody may buy from me right, but they may say hey, there's this thing. I listen to that's pretty cool here They support you or share or you know, or the mouth is
00:18:48
Speaker
It's crazy to me, the older women that are like, you have a dirty word in your podcast, I love it. And I'm like, yeah. And so now people are asking me for merchandise. So that's something that I'm working on for 2020. And I'm like, I don't know if I want this to be my final logo, because that's when the perfectionist part come in. I don't know if I want this on a sweatshirt. I don't know if I want this. You know, do I really want my kids wearing shirts that say fuckery?
00:19:11
Speaker
So, you know, I got the clean version, we got the dirty version. And it's interesting, you know, you just, but my brand is Cussin' in Caranoan, so that's how the name came. And that's okay. I mean, look at Gary Vee, right? I mean, he's a wildly successful entrepreneur. I love him, respect him, follow him. He has all these millions of followers on all these different platforms, and he is exactly who the fuck he is. He curses, he doesn't give a fuck,
00:19:40
Speaker
Fuck fuck fuck like literally all day and you know what and people love it It's funny to me because it's genuine but you hear about respectability and oh that you know I can't tell you how many messages I've gotten from family members That is not who you are. Your mother would be disappointed. Wait a minute, bitch My mom been dead 20 years what you're not going to do is tell me what somebody who's no longer here right? It's gonna say and actually
00:20:01
Speaker
I know for a fact that my family would be like, oh yes, get the coins. Be yourself. Be yourself. Don't whore yourself out. And I think that's what happens is that you have all these people that are doing all this crazy stuff and you're like, who are you? And it's so interesting because your followers or whoever's tuning into your station or YouTube channel or IG for that day, they can tell that it's not you. Like, I mean, it's so,
00:20:28
Speaker
obvious that it is not you and you're not being genuine. So, and I went through this before I launched the business. I was like, Oh my God, you know, how do I, how am I going to present myself to the world? And I'm, you know, I'm one of those people that is very social, but then when I'm around a lot of people, I get nervous, which is crazy, but that's just kind of who I am. And I'm still like coming out of my shell in that way.
00:20:47
Speaker
I'm one of those, what do they call it, extroverted introverts? I'm definitely that. So I was like, oh my God, how am I gonna present myself? What am I gonna do? And then I really realized like, you know what, fuck, I don't have time to be, like I'm just gonna be myself and people will hopefully love me for who I am. And those that, you know, don't, then that's fine. Then they'll scroll past and follow the next person. I guess I'm not sure. And in the meantime, go buy her clothes, they're 20% off.
00:21:12
Speaker
You know, they are cyber-minded. Well, y'all not gonna hear this on cyber-minded. But, you know, maybe another sale coming up at the end of the year coming. Maybe, we'll see. People want to be cute. Things happening. Yeah. You know, she like, don't be putting my stuff on sale.
00:21:24
Speaker
I'll get y'all a Baroness Bree discount. I'll let y'all know what it is on the website. But, you know, I just want to, you know, the fact that you are thinking about taking care of yourself more is important. It's hard. It's very hard. It's so hard. But, you know, I just started listening, to be honest with you, like meditation music, like Zengard music. Zengard, is that what, okay. And then just cutting my phone off.
00:21:49
Speaker
And also, because these magical iPhones have that do not disturb button on it, so only people that can get it are my faves, and the faves are only the kids. Those are the only ones, because no, that's what they call it, your faves on your phone. So that's the kids, because I had so many people down as favorites, and then they call in, you think something's emergency, and it's like, hey, what channel does that let you come on?
00:22:11
Speaker
You're like, mom. Where did you catch the new episode of Power? Bitch, bye. You're right. And it's like, ah, you're writing. So I just, you know, I've had to break. And I've kind of felt like I've cut myself off from a lot of people. And it's not on purpose. It's just that I'm building, like something is inside of me and I can't explain it. It makes total sense. So you kind of like, okay, yes, you see me out on every once in a while, but I can't go out every night and write a book. I can't go out every night.
00:22:36
Speaker
making a podcast episode is exhausted. I got to make graphics and shit, y'all. And then you got to put the graphics and you got to email the graphics to people and then they don't be posting shit when you tell them to post it. And then you got to text them like, hey, you got the graphic. And I'm like, yeah, how do I post it? And I'm like, you just post it on Instagram. What am I supposed to say? It was on the graphic. So, you know, it's just, you know, you're going back and forth. And so now I have like a whole thing where it's all written out and emailed and
00:22:59
Speaker
You know, like, you get your thing, oh, thank you so much for being a guest. Here's the address. You know, I'm just trying to get organized from systems. We have to have the systems in place because if not, I mean, I literally the first season was spinning around a circle confused because I'm like, OK, today is Wednesday and the podcast started today and technically everything should have been in place the week before.
00:23:20
Speaker
I'm coming out of that season. There's still some systems I need to put in place. And then you tweak it, and you figure it out. And people are like, yo, because the first thing I always start is the database. So I have a database for everything. And people are like, she's always building a database. Guess what? I like data. I'm a data nerd at heart. And so it's like, OK. And then once you get organized, everything else falls in place. And then I have my graphic design student, Mr. B3. So he's always like, mom, I have an idea for how to tweak or something.
00:23:50
Speaker
So he's been thinking about graphics, and I'm like, I'm waiting for him to get some polish on it, and he's thinking about what that looks like for him in the future. That would be amazing. And so it's just weird when you have another kid, he had cancer too, so he wasn't perfectionist, perfectionist, perfectionist, perfectionist. And I'm like, honey, if you do keep it in your heart, it's not gonna happen. Right, it's true. So then, you know, it's hard having a male, and you're sitting there talking to him about what he wants his goals to be, and he feel like he gotta give me the final product.
00:24:18
Speaker
And I'm like, just, and so he just went in there, whiteboarded it out, and was like, this is what I want. I'm like, look at that, that's the plan. And then it's like, holy crap, I got a 18 year old. When did that happen? So, you know, he's- I'm sorry, go about just fine being 16. It's the same thing, it's just like, where did the time go? So, you know, it's just, it's semi grown. So, you know, and it's funny, cause you sit there and you think about also your branding, cause even though my kids and their friends know Ms.
Parenting in a Tech-Driven World
00:24:44
Speaker
Bree is going to drink red wine,
00:24:45
Speaker
She's going to cuss. Red wine's always going to be involved. Exactly, right? So we're going to drink red wine. There's going to be cussing. I'm going to tell somebody they not shit. I'm going to tell them something. And you know, and their friends come over and they're like, tell us about life, Ms. Marie. And you know, I have a whole bunch of kids. And actually, they're going to come and do a, um, they're going to come do an episode. I'm going to have all my little house, because I had my son's friends come and hang out. Oh, I love that. So when they come back for Christmas break, we're going to come do an episode and talk about just what it's like. I'm definitely tuning in for that. Yeah. Cause you know, we were talking about what makes our family tick.
00:25:15
Speaker
Right. And every family operates differently. And I know for the love of everything, we are not traditional at any means, but, you know, they have an understanding. If we don't go to church, you're watching it on TV. Your phone, if you are in church, would not be in your hand. It's the Bible app. You're watching YouTube, but church, no. Cut your phone off.
00:25:32
Speaker
So it'll be about our little traditions and getting through divorce and what are we doing to keep them from driving me crazy and me driving them crazy. I love that. I think it's important to have those type of conversations. There's an audience out there that needs to hear those type of conversations. But raising black boys, raising all our black children, but I'm raising a boy, a man of color.
00:25:56
Speaker
in today's society and things are rough and he went to go see Queen and Slim and he came back so disappointed because he went to see it and it didn't end the way he wanted it to. And he's like, my, you know, all is hype. I'm tired of them hyping up movies and, you know, and it's not what I wanted it to be. And I'm like, well, how do you write the movie you want to see?
00:26:16
Speaker
And now it's turned into him taking my writing books. Wait a minute, so I'm using it. I got bookmarks in it. So you got my Stephen King on writing. I'm learning how to write. So, Ma, you done lit a fire up inside of me. I got something I'm trying to do right now. I got a baby writer. I'm like, oh shit. But you got your son and now he wants to follow in the medical footsteps and do some stuff. Yes, he wants to be a veterinarian. So he's all excited. He loves animals. He always has. So does he be poking the dog in style?
00:26:46
Speaker
But he does strangely enough, he'll watch surgery videos on YouTube, like them cutting open. I'm like, okay, all right, all right. And he's been doing that for a while. So, I mean, he has been saying since he was five, six years old, he wanted to be a veterinary. He's still going strong with it.
00:27:02
Speaker
Like our kids can learn, they learn all this stuff from YouTube. And so now I'm to the point, I'm kinda happy there's a new ad called Copa. And so if it's not branded for kids, so for the ones that are under 13, you can mark it so they can't see it. Think of it. Because you're always trying to jump on something and I'm like, get off that damn YouTube channel. But this is what the future is. And now we're turning away from an influencer-based social media to a content-based social media.
00:27:28
Speaker
And now you got our kids. I was telling the boys, I said we had all but like two letters of the Encyclopedia Britannica because either the salesman got locked up for fraud or whatever. So now it's like, you'd be like, oh, okay, what did you want to do for your science experiment? And Brynn is like, oh, I Googled this kid's science experiment. I liked it. No, you can't copy someone else's shoes. Yeah, my kids was there. I went to this website and I'm like, hold on now, we have to have it around.
00:27:53
Speaker
original idea, we can use this, you know, just to look at it. We can use this to kind of think and help us move to the next level, you know, as inspiration. You can't be copying and pasting shit. Like I went to sciencebuddies.com. If you don't get your ass off that damn site.
00:28:10
Speaker
And like you said, we had to research when we were growing up. We actually had to go into the library and look, you know, these kids don't, wouldn't know the Dewey Decibel system if it hit him in the damn head. Like they would know him get that shit. He took the card catalogs out and it's the scrap paper. So I used to work in the library and I had to type up the little stupid cards. Right.
00:28:28
Speaker
And they handed it to me as my scrap paper. And the lady was like, are you okay? And I just took a whole stack. She was like, why are you taking a stack? I said, my summer job was typing these things for a whole summer. That was my first real summer job was typing the little car catalog and getting in trouble because the space was wrong. These kids don't even know what the two, the 728s or the life sciences series. And it's just to getting answers like right away.
00:28:53
Speaker
I don't know, sometimes I wonder if it is, whether it's a good, I love that they have access to the technology and everything, but then at the same time, it's like they don't, they just don't know how to do the research, then you ask them a question and they just stuck, like they don't know what to do next. I'm like, problem solved, use your problem solving skills, like I'm not giving you the answer, figure it out. Can you cite?
00:29:12
Speaker
YouTube as a source like is that Wikipedia cuz I mean it's just a bunch of people's Opinions a lot of the assignments that my kids have now that come home They actually have guidelines for citing you know sources online because they know that that's where the majority of the sources are coming from I don't know about YouTube specifically online references definitely
00:29:34
Speaker
How did you learn to be a podcaster? Why I watch so and so 111 and that's my reference tonight. Am I going to be sci and fabulous? Fuck your reason. But you know, I don't want nobody to be like, I got a PhD in fabulous fuckery and I said something that's wrong. You know, it's like you just, you know, I just don't know. I was just trying to make the kids free thinkers. Yes. And that's what the little one does, robotics and all that weird stuff. And you know, he loves it and it's not weird. I'm sorry. STEM engagement is not weird, but
00:30:04
Speaker
After a while, you're like, why don't you go play soccer? You know, let's go get you a- That's how Journey is, though. I told you that she's not into, you know, so, Jasonne, you know, my oldest did football and lacrosse, and Jakai is a competitive cheerleader, but Journey has just never been into that. She likes computers. She likes the tech stuff. She, you know, likes designing and coding and playing, you know, roadblocks and all these other little games. And that's what she's into. And she's tried sports, but she's just, it doesn't grasp her attention.
00:30:34
Speaker
like the tech does and she likes to write like she said she wants to be an author she writes all these little books and I mean it's so many different things that she does but she's just not into traditionally what we would expect you know well you know they are mimicking what they see and they have excellent role models at home so you know I think it's so dope that they're all following their own path and they're allowing it because it's really hard to be that parent like
00:30:57
Speaker
Well, your brother did so, and so you're gonna do it too. And so I'm trying not to do that and say, okay, do your thing, figure it out, which is hard, because sometimes it's like, that's stupid. But you also don't want to use that word. So my first reaction sometimes is like, really? That sounds like that's gonna waste a lot of my money this summer.
00:31:15
Speaker
Can we pick a camp that's tried and true? Mom, I'd like to go to so-and-so camp. And with both of us being, my husband and I both having science backgrounds, but only one of our three children is interested in science. Like, Jakaya wants to do real estate and interior design, and that's kind of what she wants to do. And I mean, Journey, she's 10. We don't really necessarily know yet.
00:31:36
Speaker
She's saying she wants to be an author and be, so they're not really into the sciences. Only our oldest son is into STEM. And I see so many parents in the area that we live in that, you know, they're like pushing their kids into STEM, almost forcing their children into STEM because they want to say, oh, my child goes to such and such science and tech school. My child goes to such and such STEM school. Is your child even interested in that?
00:32:01
Speaker
You know, so I think it's just important to listen to them. It's okay to expose them, but then when you see that it's not gonna work out, then you need to move on to something different. All I know is I know a lot of people, I went to one of those specialty VOTEC schools in Maryland and Weston Tech in Baltimore County, and we were all burnt out.
00:32:21
Speaker
because all AP classes, everybody's trying to, you know, and everyone, some people are like following their dreams and whatever they went to school for, good for you, congratulations. And then it's like some of us in a burnout corner, because our brains are fried, because we were pushed. And I think sometimes they gifted and talented stuff, it's okay, but we gotta find balance.
00:32:41
Speaker
And now I'm watching the youngest one and he's in middle school and he's in gifted and talented and he comes home at night and he just looks confused for like the first hour after school every day and I'm like they jacked you up. You got fucked up.
00:32:56
Speaker
And you're like, all right, all right, but he's doing it, we're learning balance. I'm teaching him meditation, because he's a little ball of energy. Wait, he's March 28th. So what is that, Aries? Something like that. So he's just hard-headed and wound really, really tight. And you're like, I need him to chill. But you know, I have to be careful with how I talk about them on podcasts, because you know you can Google and look for your name.
00:33:22
Speaker
And you know, that's a whole nother thing. Let me see what my mother born in. Yeah, what did my mom say? What was said? Right, and that's the thing, what we do online is a digital legacy. It's forever. So we have to think about that. But I want to say one, thank you for coming. I wish you all the success for everything you're doing. And I'm so proud of you. So tell the listener friends where they can find you.
00:33:50
Speaker
So you can find me on Instagram at Sheik Essentials Boutique and website is www.sheikessentialsboutique.com. You can also find me on Facebook as well. You can find a link to her information in our show notes for today's episode. Thank you so much for joining. Thank you for having me, sis. And I am Baroness Brie. As normal, you can find me at fabfuckery on Instagram. You can find me at Baroness Brie on literally every online platform.
00:34:43
Speaker
and we'll talk soon.