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370 — License to Toast
40 Plays1 month ago
Ty & Eric hop in the mobile booth to discuss getting gaslit at a buffet, cutting your bread ‘old-style’, how to make a Subway hotdog, whether America should invade Greenland, protein maxing, the profit margins on footlongs, and Costco’s collab with Subway.
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Transcript
Rebranding the Podcast from Subway Focus
00:00:06
Speaker
Bread heads. Bread heads. Wow. Ty and Eric back in the booth, your favorite podcasters. This is a podcast previously about Subway sandwiches. I think we should rebrand it. No longer about it. It's just previously about it because we talk about a medley of other fruits, vegetables, and topics. That's right. We talk about this whole seafood medley of other things. Forget what you heard.
Recording in a Sauna-like Booth
00:00:31
Speaker
This is a new dawn, Ty.
00:00:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's a buffet of cultural references and topics of interest. Yeah, dude. Dude, thanks. Dude, we are recording this in a steamy booth today. This is ah this is turning into a steam room versus a toaster. orre We're well into the fall season here in beautiful British Columbia. We're hi itre we're in the car. This is a rainy, wet Tuesday afternoon.
Balkan House Buffet Disappointment
00:01:01
Speaker
Yeah dude, the ah condensation on your windshield reminds me of the condensation on the side of the bucket that the tuna is in. And that's making me feel like I am the tuna fish right now. Waiting to be scooped out of your sunroof and laid across bread.
00:01:17
Speaker
Dude, you're 100% correct. um We are the fake tuna. It's confirmed. But yeah, dude, this condensation looks actually nasty, you know? You think about it. Yeah, dude. Oh, it's weird. I feel like we're in a sauna right now. We are. By the end of this episode, it's going to be nasty in here.
00:01:34
Speaker
And we're about to get nasty on Mike. oh yeah I went to a, well, okay, I was kind of bamboozled this weekend because I went to a buffet on Sunday. I went to the famous Balkan house restaurant over in Edmund's area of Burnaby, where my people seem to want to reside for some reason. I don't know the Balkan house restaurant. I'm not familiar with this lore of the greater Vancouver area, but tell me about the buffet. What's
The Concept of Controlled Buffets
00:02:02
Speaker
going on there?
00:02:02
Speaker
Well, they have a brilliant Sunday buffet there. um But we had a weird, like, situation where we had pulled up, made a rezzo for 2 p.m., um and we got there. No buffet. No buffet. The buffet trays were cleaned out, ready for closing. Like, it was just like, it was like Subway at 2 a.m., you know, just hibernating overnight. Empty buckets. Empty buckets.
00:02:30
Speaker
Dude, I can't escape the buckets. Like, if I'm not at Subway, I'm at a buffet somewhere. This is the thing that's kind of funny, is that you and I, like, on microphone have dis- We've dunked on buffets so many times. Historically anti-buffet. Yeah, dude. Um, but- I'm shorting the buffet. Yeah. But Subway is kind of a buffet.
00:02:53
Speaker
it It's got all the qualities of a buffet. You just don't get to scoop the meatball yourself. That's true. So it's actually kind of an elevated buffet in that sense. Right. It's kind of like the special roped off section at a Mexican resort where you have to ask the chef to plate it for you. you're You're within the buffet, but within the buffet, there's another buffet kind of thing.
00:03:14
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah, the speakeasy buffet within it. Private access. You have to line up by a queue. There's usually a rope. Mm-hmm. One at a time, you tell them what you want to do. Exactly. You say, let me get a bite. And he says, I got you. What's kind of funny about Subway is they've also upgraded all of the soda machines to become fluid buffets. Goddamn. You're not wrong,
Joking About Subway's Fluid Buffets
00:03:38
Speaker
Ty. You're not wrong. I know. But I don't like the idea of a fluid buffet. That sounds nasty to me.
00:03:43
Speaker
No, anything fluid should not exist. Keep it in the hospital. Exactly. this is Yeah, this is surgery room talk. But anyways, I pulled up to the restaurant, had to order a la carte, unfortunately. And the server gave us some weird response. like We haven't had a buffet here in at least five years. What? And I was like, am I having a Mandela moment right now? Because I swear to God, I had the buffet last year here.
00:04:12
Speaker
Wow, that's wild, dude. You're getting gaslit by the server here. And then I checked the Google ah business business. I checked the business on Google and it says, featuring the Sunday buffet. No way. Yeah. So either update your Google or... Dude, update your
Ty's Positive Buffet Experience Interrupted
00:04:28
Speaker
servers. Yeah, update the the fucking dementia going on in these servers' minds because I swear to God I had it last year. So I felt really stupid for planning this whole thing for my family and showing up.
00:04:41
Speaker
I think the restaurant should feel stupid for forgetting to plug in their server overnight so that they could get the necessary software upgrade. Oh, I just got the joke. there I'm slow today. It's okay. this is That's so unfortunate. I'm so sorry for you. And I feel extra bad to tell you that I got to enjoy an amazing buffet on Sunday. What? Fuck.
00:05:04
Speaker
That's right with the buffet boys, dude I planted the seed with you so early and then you just stole my idea and you get to do it It's true. It's true. And it's funny as I was I remember last week you mentioned your upcoming buffet and I I thought about that while I was eating mine it came to me and I realized my co-host and I We are eating separate buffets at the same time. I I think a crow just shat on your car. Oh, there's a crow on your car right now. Oh, there's so many. Oh, dude, we're being it's swarmed by crows. I don't know if that picked up on Mike, but they're landing all over us. I'm terrified. I'm so scared right now. Very weird. They're chasing that dog.
00:05:49
Speaker
dude crows are the new age mafia bro like once they like have it out for you they will they'll chase you down they'll remember your face like you gotta check in with them when you visit the park nowadays yeah for sure show your papers exactly give them a little bread tacks So you had a buffet as well.
Exploring Vegetarian and Pescatarian Buffets
00:06:08
Speaker
I did. Talk to me like, what do they serve at a vegetarian buffet? Does it just look like a produce section? Dude, every grocery store has a veggie buffet. So walk me through it. What'd you eat? Well, uh, it's actually, it was really pescatarian coated. I was at a very nice one Michelin key hotel called Nita Lake Lodge and Whistler this weekend. Oh yes. And they put on a very nice buffet in the morning. Um, it has all of your usuals, like a really fluffy scrambled egg, a collection of meats that are reserved only for breakfast, which I don't understand. Why is like little tiny sausages? You're a carnivore. Why are you only eating the itty bitty sausages before noon?
00:06:52
Speaker
Why aren't... afternoon it's like you stop eating. They're they're just sausages. What's... why? Dude, this is the North American need to like organize. Unnecessary in my opinion. Like Europeans, we don't care what time it is. We're eating sausage and drinking beer all day long. Yeah, that's true. But they get bigger throughout the day.
00:07:13
Speaker
I guess if you want to look at it that way it's like portion wise you're probably eating more at dinner than you are at breakfast but it's not like you're eating one sausage like you're eating five of those little guys at noon and then two of the big guys at dinner yeah I mean so and if it's a breakfast buffet triple that Yeah, 100%.
Buffets and Overeating: A Similarity with Subway
00:07:33
Speaker
Dude, buffets are just like a recipe for disaster if I'm ah'm being honest. They do suck. They do suck. Not just that, but also like I'm overeating every single time because like if I don't have three plates, I feel like I'm wasting money here.
00:07:47
Speaker
Yeah, totally. And that's even how I feel at Subway if they don't put extra lettuce on my sandwich. They know it's free, but give me as much as you can. um Dude, at any buffet that has like a quality cut of meat, I'm just eating, I'm going full carnivore, liver king diet.
00:08:05
Speaker
Yeah, you were hopping in, you were protein loading. Yeah, it brings me back to the one I had in Vegas where I just had like four slices of prime rib and like 10 crab legs and that was it. Damn, more protein than Drake.
00:08:21
Speaker
cut down
Challenges of Eating Crab Legs at Buffets
00:08:23
Speaker
um Yeah, so that's kind of like the vibe here I was actually going to tell you that there was a crab leg on the menu Which I thought was pretty cool for a buffet. Did you tap in I did I had a couple legs myself, but they didn't give me any of the supplementary specialized tools for crab legs So I'm like in there with a regular forking knife trying to scoop this stuff.
00:08:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's tough. I think it's by design to slow you down so you take less food from the buffet. It gives you your your body ah your metabolism a chance to actually like catch up to your mouth. Right. And then you don't go back for another plate. really but um That makes a decent amount of sense because if I'm just like loading up the crab like I would at Subway, seafood medley style, handfuls at a time onto the bread, I'm going to go with way too much.
00:09:14
Speaker
Makes me think like Subway could probably save overall money on amount of ingredients if after like stage one, after you get that meat on there, they just give you a quick bite. Just pass it over the the the plot of the barrier, one bite, and send it back. Just satisfy the craving, give me the ick a little bit. I don't want anything else in there. I'm i'm good. Speaking of getting the ick, I think everyone should start with a six inch.
00:09:42
Speaker
and then have the opportunity to buy the second half of that sandwich, and the other six inches, at the foot long price. Yes, 100%. That is such a good idea, Eric. And you should be able to add infinite numbers of six inches, depending on your appetite. So don't stop me at 12. Let me go to 18. 100%.
Subway Pricing and Cost Strategy
00:10:00
Speaker
Economy of scale. Yeah. um So know what though in that case, you're kind of actually buying a subscription service for like two hours of sandwich consumption.
00:10:08
Speaker
right it's kind of like on amazon like you save one percent if you sign up for this uh subscription yeah the recurring purchase model yeah would you like to receive like an hdmi cable every month thank you so much put into my collection yeah
00:10:30
Speaker
There's definitely an old guy somewhere who doesn't know how to cancel that and is receiving like ah like a TV every quarter or something. Dude, Amazon's so freaky with their like dark user experience patterns. They would sign you up for that kind of shit, you know? You buy like one Vitamix blender off Amazon and they're trying to send you a blender every quarter. You need a new one?
00:10:54
Speaker
Yeah. But also we all have that old guy in our lives who just like can't pass up a deal. So like they'll, they'll save 3% on Amazon. They'll, they'll get the, uh, the footlong, you know, whatever is the daily special. Um, I also saw it at Costco, they were selling subway gift cards, a hundred dollar subway gift cards for $80 at Costco at Costco.
00:11:18
Speaker
So you're getting 20% off $100 worth of Subway. Exactly. That's a lot of footloans. So somehow Subway is giving Costco a deal. They've they've brokered a deal, Donald Trump style, where they're probably getting it for 50 cents on the dollar, and they're marking it out to 80. So it's like, the consumer's like, oh fuck, I can save 20% off of Subway? That seems like a good deal. That does seem like a good deal. youre You can't afford to not buy that. Everybody wins but Subway here.
00:11:48
Speaker
Maybe. Actually Subway wins because they get $80 worth of business. Yeah, I mean how much is a sandwich worth? Like a dollar? I bet you it costs them like for your run-of-the-mill cold cut combo. That's got a retail price, what, $7 for 12 inches? Retail price, yeah. Yeah, and cost of production is probably like 30 cents. It can't be more than that. Yeah, you're probably right. Add labor, maybe it's 50 cents.
00:12:16
Speaker
Yeah, so what are we even looking at here, at like a
Quality and Ingredient Talk at Subway
00:12:20
Speaker
scoop of flour? Yeah, water. The bread is basically free. you can The bread just comes from the air. Yeah, the bread just kind of, you know, it's 3D printed in the back somewhere. And then they have like some subpar scrap veggies, which are collected at the from the floor in every back room of the grocery store. Yeah, they get a deal because they only buy the ugly ones. Exactly, exactly.
00:12:46
Speaker
That would actually be a nice business model. That's kind of like the hot dog sandwich model, you know? Where you just blend it all up into a wiener? Yeah, you take all the innards, all the uncrustables as I like to call them, and just put throw them in a Vitamix and there you have it. That's your sausage. Would you pay less to get that in Subway sandwich form? Like you're getting the bottom of every bucket. It's just, god it's just this like tube of food and you can still put it between bread. Maybe that's the Subway hot dog. Damn. That's their take on the hot dog, Eric. i We just figured it out. So it's, it's not like a bad cut of meat. It's the same meat, but it's been there for like a week. Yeah, exactly. And it's a, it's a medley of all of the different kinds. Dude, I think.
00:13:33
Speaker
I'm going to say yes. You know why? Because I don't think anything at Subway can decompose anyway. Right. And the savings would actually make it worth eating there. Because like if I'm paying $8 for a sub, I'm thinking, damn, I could have just like went for a walk for lunch you know instead. um But if it's like half off,
00:13:55
Speaker
Kind of like when you go to a bakery and you get half off yesterday's lunch. Yeah, the day holds. I don't think there's any issue with that, just toast it. Just double toast the sandwich and you're good to go. That's right, just burn off any bacteria that may have developed on the outer layer. 100%, dude. I'm toasting it with the meat and cheese on and then I'm saying, fuck it, run it back. Yeah, dude, I'm here for it. um I do like the idea that going for a walk for lunch is probably better for your body, mind, spirit,
00:14:23
Speaker
everything than eating a footlong. Oh, I would 100% recommend skipping lunch if you're considering getting a footlong. Yeah. Most of the time, it's better to skip the meal than given to any craving. Yeah, exactly. You just gotta find that one thing that'll replace your worst device. You know what I mean?
00:14:44
Speaker
So if you're no longer drinking alcohol, just have a gummy worm. You know what I mean? That'll soothe any craving. We're placed with something just as bad, actually. Yeah, try smoking. Yeah. Sir, have you tried smoking? Yeah, have you tried fentanyl? Yeah, dude. That's the end-all, be-all.
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah final boss. Mm-hmm. So I did just ask chat if What the cost it was how much it costs to manufacture a subway sandwich because I just wanted to do a gut check here Okay, and they think that if you combine ingredients labor and general overhead on a franchise You're looking at three dollars and fifty cents to make a six-inch. Mm-hmm I think that's high. Yeah, right? Because they're only flipping a six inch for like four to six dollars. Yeah. Do you think um chat is considering like the scale here?
00:15:41
Speaker
Because like, sure, if you buy a handful of lettuce at, you know, a grocery store, that'll cost you 50 cents, right? But if you're buying like, I don't know, kilos of the stuff, like you're probably, you know, saving some on that. Let's ask, does this quote, consider economies of scale?
00:16:04
Speaker
It doesn't consider economies of scale, bulk purchasing, streamlined operations, and fixed overhead can obviously help lower that cost. So if we adjust it for that, we're actually looking at 225 to 325 per sandwich. That makes sense. Because labor shouldn't go down, overhead wouldn't go down, and ingredients definitely should go down.
00:16:23
Speaker
Yes. And it probably depends on the popularity of the location. You're flipping more. You're able to, you know, bulk purchasing. Dude, you got the same kind of like purchasing power as Whole Foods on your tomatoes, you know? Like, give me more. Give me more. Okay, they're Britney Spears.
00:16:41
Speaker
I don't even, who cares? yeah really But then it's like, okay, if you can flip your foot long for, flip the footy for double that, which is a typical kind of margin, where they should, Subway should be just, they're and they're they're turning around a foot long every few minutes. They should be a very rich company, but they're not.
00:17:02
Speaker
I don't know if they're truly flipping footlongs every few minutes. Because think about it. Who's getting a footlong from the hours of 8 p.m. to 8? No. 8 p.m. to 11 a.m. Zero, probably. What about firefighters who just came off the night shift? Yeah, that's one.
Subway Operating Hours and Business Impact
00:17:25
Speaker
And the cops that just came off the night shift. That's two. Paramedics that just came off the night shift.
00:17:32
Speaker
They have families, so they're going home for dinner. Okay. Cops and firefighters don't. That's true. Just kidding. I don't know. i I truly think that's happening once in a while. I don't think every every night shift people are hitting the way. I can i can only think of one 24-hour subway in our area. That's a good point. So, you're right. They they they have a limited time frame to flip as many footies.
00:17:58
Speaker
It's a tricky situation. Yeah. What if you're working at the fire hall in, I don't know, Bowen Island? Is there a subway there? If there is, it's probably closed at like 6 p.m. Dude, I feel like every single... You can go find like a random island like off Greenland and there will be a subway there. like Go to the very middle of the Atlantic Ocean, zoom in until you see a landmass. There will be a subway. I think that entirely depends on if Trump was able to acquire Greenland. If he did, then there is one for sure. Dude, do you think America should buy Greenland? They already have Alaska.
00:18:34
Speaker
I don't think they should buy it. I think they should just colonize it. Why stop at, you know, why buy it? You're right. Who are you buying it from? I think you're like, why stop at, like as if they had just recently colonized something. But I feel like America is like more like slithery at their colonization.
Humorous Take on American Colonization with Subway
00:18:52
Speaker
You know, they just set up a military base and then start to extract resources through like aggressive business practices. Right. That's the new colonization.
00:19:02
Speaker
right i see first they have to send a plane into a building and then they do that right exactly and then once they've established a few subways there then they've completed the cycle you know now the gentrification begins
00:19:18
Speaker
Dude, then they issue the nomadic visa, the matter digital nomad visa. If your country has one of those, you're fucked. Your end's going up, buddy. Dude, you down should get a digital... Where would you where would you we be permanently podcasting from with our digital nomad visa? Botswana? I mean, we're doing that right now. I guess so. Potentially illegally? Like, can we pod in a park? Is that illegal? I think you need a permit. But I don't know for sure.
00:19:47
Speaker
Yeah. We're parked next to a park. So does that change anything? We're two parks removed. We're double parked. Double parked. Shit.
00:19:57
Speaker
What else is going on here,
Old Subway Bread Cutting Technique Revelation
00:19:59
Speaker
Eric? did you know that Okay, um last episode we talked a little bit about how Subway used to gut the inside of their bread in order to fill it with more stuff. I learned today about a different bread cutting, trimming strategy that I have not seen employed, but does exist. It's called doing it old style.
00:20:25
Speaker
Okay, yeah, this is the missionary thread this is This is how God wants it um Cutting it your bread old style and you can ask the sandwich artists to do this but because it is old You'll have to you want like a senior manager to take this on right? You need someone who has been at subway for how long ten years? Oh Mm-hmm. If they got the 10-year Muhammad's Way badge, then you're in the clear. They're gonna they're gonna know what to do. Damn. Dude, that's that's yeah a great way to tell like who's been a lifer at any like minimum-wage business. It's like how how old the name tag looks. Dude, yeah, they got the old-style logo on that thing. Yeah. When I quit my minimum wage job, I remember ceremoniously tossing my name tag in the garbage on my way out. That's beautiful. And it was so nice, dude. It's like when they they tell the chief of police to like, hand over the badge. Badgering gun please. Yeah. Throw it in the trash. Dude, that's their cheese and toasted. Whoa. License and registration.
00:21:30
Speaker
It's kind of the same thing. Wow. Dude, that guy's got a license to toast. yeah Let's go. Yeah, because they graduated from Subway University. So old style for for the old heads. This means cutting the bread from the top down into the sandwich to make a big trench. Then ah you get this like V shape that comes into your foot long.
00:21:57
Speaker
you stuff that full of your food and then you put with the bread back on top like a little roof. Okay, I think we've talked about this. I've never heard of this before. I've never seen it. It has to be a v-shape? Yeah, the v-shape is what's recommended. Okay, so okay, this is kind of what I was picturing when I was thinking about old style. Like you were kind of scooping out the top of the bun.
00:22:27
Speaker
Yeah, so I always thought it was you do your typical horizontal slice, create two equal halves, and then you start building your trench. But word style is you're building a trench from the roof into the bread. Got it. Okay, the duplex. You're maintaining the composition of the like loaf like shape by doing that. This makes sense. And then you cap it at the end, like like the ah Titan sub, you know, yeah there's only like a little latch at the top to get in and out.
00:22:57
Speaker
Right, right, right, right. And under extreme load it will burst. Exactly. And you're gonna stuff that thing until the compression is too much. Ty, my hands are tingling just thinking about this sandwich because I already know that gripping this thing, my hands getting dirty. Like you're pressing down on the roof and sauce is like jumping out both sides, you know what I mean? Because the benefit of like cutting it down the middle is one half is like like kind of like a taco almost like a horizontal taco one hand is safe from all the stuff inside so if you're eating it one-handed pause you can just grab that clean side and not worry about olives touching your palms
00:23:43
Speaker
That's a good point. ah There is like an urban ergonomic risk here but I'm also a little bit worried with the old style approach. If there's too much pressure in there and you are doing everything you can to like hold that lid down but it it wants to pop like there will there will be leakage not just on the top but the largest pores of the foot long bread will start creaming out little drops of Sriracha sauce, you know a little bit of sweet onion out the tip Mm-hmm. This is gotta take years to master if I'm being honest I don't think any old sandwich artists can attempt the old style cut On their first day on the job. It's just simply not possible, dude Yeah, this is a black belt move 100% whereas like everyone has the innate ability to cut a loaf of bread in half That's we're born with that skill. Yes um and it requires
00:24:39
Speaker
a professional degree of restraint from both the artist and the customer, because both parties need to understand the limitations of the bread. And I can see a customer pushing your sandwich artist beyond what they're comfortable with.
00:24:55
Speaker
This is why we got to rename sandwich artists to sandwich engineers, structural engineers at that. That gives them a bit more credibility when making a decision for the safety of everybody. Yeah, 100%. You're also like letting people know the kind of job they're applying for. You know what I mean? Like, let's be real. There's no artistry happening on the artist's side. Ironically so. It is. It's all happening on the other side of the glass.
00:25:24
Speaker
Well, we've never really asked them if they consider themselves an artist. Maybe there is artistry in the craft of the kind of construction. Yeah. I mean, it depends if you think Bollywood is real. Fair enough. I think like I could find joy in like the placement of the cucumber slices, ensuring consistent separation between them. A really like beautifully sprinkled arrangement of green peppers.
00:25:54
Speaker
I agree, Ty. I'm just thinking about at the beginning of this episode, we said we don't talk about
Unexpected Subway-Centric Episode Realization
00:26:00
Speaker
Subway anymore. And this is maybe the most Subway episode we've had all year. Is that extremely Subway-centric? I'm surprised we even have anything to talk about at this point. I think if we don't come prepared with current events, we end up just going deep on the sandwich brands and the institution. Dude, fall back to what we know and love, hey? Exactly. Wow. We can go unlimited time when it's Subway.
00:26:23
Speaker
Anything else, you know regarding Diddy's financial status or legal status? Mm-hmm. We can we tap out a little bit Yeah, if it's a slow news cycle for Diddy then we're going back to our ways Exactly I don't have much else to talk to you about time But I think this has been a fun episode unless you have anything else I'm gonna talk about no, I don't this has been so much fun breadheads Thank you for listening Eric. Thank you for thinking freshly with me. I And if you're new here, um because of a story post that you may or may not have seen, welcome. Welcome to the universe. The sandwich universe. Yeah, it's ah expanding like the bread and the toaster. 100%. You can ah shop our merch at shop.thinkfreshpodcast.com and a little hack for the breadheads.
00:27:15
Speaker
use the code BRADHEAD for 10% off. So our little thank you for being a loyal listener and pumping our listener retention rate by making it this far into the episode. Yeah, we really appreciate that. It's good for our SEO. Okay, talk to you later. Thank you. Ciao.