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377 — Butter My Cohost
24 Plays10 days ago
Ty & Eric discuss brefriending the Aesop shopkeeps, festive colours for Subway bread, being as tall as a Subway party sub, becoming VIP at a lighting store, why St. Patty’s Day sucks, eating a freaky cookie, and Diddy’s life in prison.
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Transcript
Reconnecting with 'Breadheads'
00:00:04
Think Fresh
Breadheads! Breadheads! Breadheads! Breadheads! Test, test, test. Breadheads, are you there? Breadheads in the fucking building. Whoa. Ty and Eric in the world fucking building. Yeah, we are so back in the booth today. Dude, we are in the booth literally and figuratively. And in your earlobes. We're in your earlobes, Ty. Dude, we are in earring. That's right. Ring, ring. It's us. Dude, we're swinging from one earlobe to the other like a couple of spider monkeys.
00:00:34
Think Fresh
I get called Spider Monkey a lot. Really? I just have that kind of persona. Do you get called that from like your partner or from your friends? Friends, family, strangers. Your manager. Strangers that the McDonald's work here when I go in the jungle gym. It's weird heard Trump called you that while you were picking up your drive-through order from him. Yeah, so i'm no stranger to that.
The Green Cookie Experience
00:00:58
Think Fresh
You're also no stranger to eating on Mike. I'm so sorry for chilling. I just, I just started grad ads. I'm eating what's called a Franken cookie right now. That's right. I mean by a um yeah guess a bakery in Vancouver, but this is quite an enigmatic cookie. Okay. Walk me through, uh, what you're experiencing right now. well First of all, the dimensions of this thing are absurd. This cookie was like the size of a hockey puck. And I ate most of it myself. And it's got M&Ms and miniature marshmallows in it. But the most notable quality of this cookie, Eric, is that it is green. It's a green cookie. For a day. ah And I don't know why.
00:01:40
Think Fresh
So okay, this is strange. um Do you think it's because they use some kind of food coloring in there or is one of the ingredients like a wheatgrass? Yeah, kelp powder. Is anyone's guess it really is strange. So we'd have to call the manufacturer. I think it's probably just food coloring. It's got the food coloring green tint, you know, it like is a little bit neon, a little bit Halloweeny, maybe that's why they dyed it green. It's kind of got like a YSL slime green, you know? o Oh yeah. It tastes pretty good though. can't taste It doesn't taste great. Tastes like cookie. Dude, why doesn't, whoa. Subway keeps manufacturing new bread. They could make seasonal bread, they just dye it green. Dye it red, dye it purple.
00:02:33
Think Fresh
It'll be so cool. Kind of like the Shamrock Shake. Where's the green bread subway? Where's the green bread? We know it's, you know, you're all about the greens inside the bread, but make the green fucking bread for once, will ya? Yeah, dude, I want to have the the ah purple grimace sub. I mean, I want my mouth to be green after a sandwich, just like yours is right now after that cookie.
00:02:59
Think Fresh
yeah I need to gurgle this beer to clean clean my teeth. We're sipping beers. We're both hungry. Ty Panic ate the cookie because he's like, I can't have the beer if I don't eat something. And do it I also make sure I take my vitamin C with a meal too.
00:03:15
Think Fresh
Man, yesterday I skipped lunch and I had four beers after work and I felt so fucking good. Whoa. It's like, you're like that meme of the horse running through the field after four beers and no lunch. Yeah, dude, how it feels to skip lunch and just drink. And it's like a beautiful vista.
00:03:31
Think Fresh
how but What was the ABV of these four beverages? Whatever these are. 5.8. These are heavy boys. These are fest beer, Ty. We're celebrating. The Germans don't fuck around. Dude, every time we're in them in the booth, we're celebrating.
00:03:46
Think Fresh
Yeah, dude. We drink to my accomplishments. We drink every night. You know what I mean? Whatever Drake said. Something like that. Even beer, it gets dyed green for festivities.
St. Patrick's Day vs. Halloween
00:03:57
Think Fresh
St. Patrick's Day. Namely. Milkshakes. Arguably the worst holiday ever created. I think I agree. good I would have disagreed if I was still 20. What do you mean? It's fucking awesome, dude. When you're 20, St. Patrick's Day is like the best holiday.
00:04:15
Think Fresh
because you're not sure what you're you're, you're just doing what you would do on a Friday night, but other people are showing up, you know? subjectively the only day where this and Halloween I guess which is coming up actually you might have already passed I don't know I don't know when this episode is coming up if you're listening to this and you are ah soothing a hangover then just disregard the next 15 minutes but skip ahead yeah worst both of the worst holidays Halloween is kind of fun because like the girls dress slutty but St. Patrick's Day you just
00:04:46
Think Fresh
I don't know. I don't know. I've never seen a good looking girl on St. Patrick's Day out drinking a green beer. do the are going out on patty's day Dude the all the wifeys are staying home. You're just getting the green ogres coming out. You're getting Shrek 2 every night. too Every year. once Once a year. Shrek 2 baby. You're so right though. And I'm a donkey. But I know this will be a battle as old as time. I still stand by the fact that Halloween is the best.
00:05:13
Think Fresh
ah holiday of all time. And the reason is because you just get to do ridiculous things and there's not really any rhyme or reason to it. You get to shoot fireworks at minors. You just get to like goof off, do whatever you want.
00:05:26
Think Fresh
sneak some fentanyl into a Mars bar. Yeah, dude. If you ever want to practice surgery, you can put some razor blades in a pack of chips or something. Yeah. You can literally like put on a mask and hide in a bush and just scare children all night and not get arrested. It's awesome. It's all part of the fun. It's part of the service. it's It's the closest thing we have to the purge.
00:05:48
Think Fresh
Yeah, quite literally. How ah how many like Halloween deaths have there have there been? like Is there like some lore about this? like it was ah It was a cold, foggy Halloween Eve. And young Billy was trick-or-treating, and he went you know he said this was going to be the last house, but he went for one more house, and that last house on the block was Let me tell you, Ty. I was all boarded up. I was looking scary. Billy didn't go in, did he? Well, Billy knocked. But that was the last time anyone ever seen
Halloween Lore and Tales
00:06:20
Think Fresh
him. Oh, no. Is Billy in the room with us now? No, he's not. He's he's missing, Ty. Oh, that was good, Eric. That was some good storytelling. Thanks. du I'm really working on my voice acting. Do you think Billy was abducted?
00:06:40
Think Fresh
I hope not. That's pretty dark. Yeah, it is. um As you know, I'm in Italy at the time of recording, traveling around. And speaking of abduction, we like I had to console Bay the other day because there was like a realization that now that we're no longer in our young 20s,
00:06:59
Think Fresh
We're no longer appealing to being abducted for human trafficking. Oh, no, I know. And then it's like it was like consoling her. She's consoling me. We're like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, oh, no, you're, so honey, you're so you're still traffic. People would want to do that to you. Nice.
00:07:17
Think Fresh
Yeah, man. I mean,
Diddy in Prison Rumors
00:07:20
Think Fresh
when one thing ends, another thing must begin time and now you can be the trafficker. That's true. So I wouldn't look at this as a negative, you know, if anything, you've graduated to, you know, the next level.
00:07:32
Think Fresh
Wow, that's what growing up's all about, hey? Yeah, that's right. Interesting. Did you learn the hard way? Dude, we haven't heard any ditty news recently. what what What is going on on that front? You you have TMZ as your homepage. what what do you What do you know? This isn't new, but I heard a rumor. I don't know if it's confirmed because, you know, internet, but I believe the baby oil was not baby oil, Ty. Oh, I heard this too. It was laced with some day rape drugs. Of course, but a thousand bottles. Yeah.
00:08:05
Think Fresh
Dude. If you're buying date rape lube, it's got to come in bulk. You can't just buy one bottle. I mean, you can homebrew one bottle, but you can't homebrew a thousand bottles. That has to come from a supplier. That's true. Yeah. yeah who was Who's yeah yeah getting the bottles from, Ty? It ain't Siroc. The Costco of nefarious activities is supplying that. It ain't Siroc, but he's getting Siroc hard off it, that's for sure.
00:08:29
Think Fresh
Dude, yeah, now he's getting sorocked in prison. Whoa. Dude, has anyone taken Diddy's cheeks in prison yet? What do you think? and say no i don't think anyone wants to go near that right now i don't know dude i think it's prime for the he's probably asking for it to be oh maybe he's like anyone want to freak i want to come into my cell yeah uh i if i was a prison inmate of ditties i would go nowhere near him because
00:09:00
Think Fresh
we don't know how much power he has in prison yet. Like he might still have connections to the outside, could blow up my my family's car, you know, they could cutty my family. Yeah.
Masculinity and Yellowstone
00:09:12
Think Fresh
Man, I've been watching a lot of Yellowstone and I got to say like,
00:09:16
Think Fresh
I just love how, in Montana, men take things into their own hands, you know what I mean? There was a lot of killing in that show and blowing up of cars. I'm like, we should go back to that as a society, you know? Men should be blowing up more cars. I think it's just a Hollywood quality to they fetishize the idea of being decisive and taking action and not caring about the implications. 100%. It's an eye for an eye every day of the week, baby. 100%.
00:09:43
Think Fresh
like in film the intrusive thoughts always win this is a real thing man i think about this a lot because like god forbid something somebody does something to my family i'm thinking like what would i do in this situation like realistically what's gonna happen am i gonna go after them probably not right You know what I mean? do you Do you think about this? No. Is our is our generation just soft now? Because like our our grandfather's generation, they would have like probably showed up to their house with a baseball bat or something, you know? Yeah. so um Well, our generation, dude, we are raised by the state and by
00:10:22
Think Fresh
ah We are fed by thank the capitalist engine. So all if that's all we know, then that's all we can turn to. We narc to capitalism. We narc to the state in this situation. We are incapable of taking medicine to our own hands, because we don't even use our own hands to feed ourselves. We're we're out of touch with her. Exactly. We use the sandwich artist's hands, Eric. So I'm going to my sandwich artist, and I'm telling them my situation. And I'm going to see if they could find an alternative use for that bread knife.
00:10:54
Think Fresh
Got a few ideas. Yeah, dude. Wow. Can you cut a body in half? Perfectly three feet on either side.
00:11:03
Think Fresh
I ever thought about that way. Average, say the average man is six feet. It's three feet on each side. That seems like a little, just a little bit. It's just, it's only three feet. Only three feet on each half. That's crazy. Through the six inch of a guy is only three feet.
00:11:22
Think Fresh
like It seems so small. Yeah, like, if you're a cannibal, you're like, no, I want the footlong. Yeah. Yeah. Give me the footlong. But it's also weird to think that your six foot tall man is only one party sub tall. How long is that? Six feet? Yeah. So when do you put that in perspective, you're like, is the party sub just really big? Or maybe being six foot isn't all it's cracked up to be.
00:11:48
Think Fresh
Or if you're, or if it's just the perfect measurement for like a suitor, you know what I mean? It's like, is he taller than a giant sub though? If not, I don't know. I need my men's to, it's actually makes sense. It's like men, you need to be taller than a sandwich. Like come on guys. Yeah dude, a commercially available sandwich, not a one-off, you know? I managed it as a woman going out and purchasing a sandwich bigger than your man's.
00:12:16
Think Fresh
Whoa, that's kind of devastating. It is. It's a hit. Yeah. And it sucks because I know I am shorter than the six foot sandwich. Need to get a photo of you laying down as to a sandwich and have it be longer than you. i dude No, that's so emasculating. There's no way I'm taking, I'm snipping a couple inches off the bread to cheat a little. Yeah, true. Cheat meal, if you will. A cheat meal. Yeah, that's right. Wow.
00:12:44
Think Fresh
Uh, we had a weird encounter today,
Unexpected Skincare Encounter
00:12:46
Think Fresh
Ty. I was at the ASOP store, refilling on some of my essentials, picked up some deodorant, uh, some creams, some you know face products. And then I'm like getting in my vehicle.
00:13:00
Think Fresh
putting down the ASOP. And then it's like, I'm already hyper aware. I'm in gas town. I have $300 worth of skincare on my passenger seat. And then I see some dude banging on my window. the Oh, no. A hobo, perhaps. A hobo? Sure enough, it's Thai. You ran up on me, bro. Why? My co-hosts ran up on me in the gas town. That's scary. It's a scary sight.
00:13:22
Think Fresh
I spotted your purple whip, the Mercedes Idylene in a no parking zone. The lean colored Benz was idling in the no parking zone. Yep. And I thought that has to be my, my co-host. Who else would just be idling outside of an ASOP? It's pretty crazy to spot a car in public and be like, I know there's a Yeti mic in there. Yeah, for sure. but I know there's like four MacBooks in there. Four MacBooks and a Yeti. And I'm not talking about the cooler. No, dude.
00:13:51
Think Fresh
Um, so I had to approach carefully because I don't know if this is, if, if it's not you, it's like a gang bang or in this thing, you know, 100%. There's definitely either a gun or a Mac book. Exactly. One or the other. two All e-class drivers. There's two types, you know.
00:14:11
Think Fresh
but It's like first owner has the MacBook, second owner has the gun. 100%, that's just diluted luxury, I guess. Exactly, dude. That's what I call depreciation.
00:14:25
Think Fresh
um So yeah, I approached it and sure enough, I won the lottery. My my my podcaster senses were tingling correctly. My co-host was in the driver's seat.
00:14:36
Think Fresh
But I did the math. There's only a few cars like yours around the city. There's only a few that are going to be hanging out at ASOP. I was also going to ASOP to pick up some products. So that's one of the few places in the city I run into you. But tell the story though, because you actually went into the ASOP and then saw me or something?
00:14:55
Think Fresh
As I was entering the store, ah huh my peripheral caught a glance of your vehicle. And I thought, I think that's my co-host. So then I go inside, announce what I'm there for. They start collecting my my material to purchase. yeah And then I think, if it is my co-host, I best double check. I can't let this opportunity pass.
00:15:16
Think Fresh
Right. So I ran outside the store associate in there, like little leather overalls, they start panicking. They think I'm getting towed. And then I go, ah I speak to you.
00:15:28
Think Fresh
Then I come back inside and they're all relieved to hear that it was not my car and I was in fact visiting. But when they found out it was yours, oh Eric, they got so excited. oh dude You know why? Because they're like, Eric, we love Eric here. We love Eric here. They are so jazzed on you, dude. They all know your first name. They're all stoked about you.
00:15:51
Think Fresh
You're like, you're Eric's friend. We love Eric. Wow. yeah Dude, I love that. Be on a first name basis with the lads at ASOP. This has got to be one of the top five most rewarding experiences for me.
00:16:07
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. It's so they're so they're so chill but so gentle dude. Yeah, I talked to that guy like Minutes before you got there about my sensitive skin I was confessing all about my blemishes and my you know skin concerns. He was able to ah Rectify them so feeling quite good tie I left you know with a big bag of a soft products that smell beautiful and I'm so happy to hear that you also got to buy something. Yeah, you gotta rectify the rectals, you know? 100%, dude. Rectify the retinol. Yeah, that's what it meant. I was thinking rectum. But we don't need to rectify that. I felt gross saying that, but I knew it was correct, so I just went with it. We gotta rectify it.
00:16:53
Think Fresh
Ah, dude, yeah, so we we're both Patreon, the stock shop today. It was good to see you were back filling basically every product in your bathroom. That's right. Yeah, he was mentioning like, oh, it's pretty smart that you waited for like a bunch of stuff to like run out before you come here.
00:17:12
Think Fresh
I'm like, man, like, you're right. But if I go more than a day without the deodorant, that's bad news for everybody. You know what I mean? That thing is, I spray that liberally. Mm hmm. Yeah. Any day you're not smelling like sandalwood, you just smell like piss and shit. There's a lot of like sweet onion sauce. Oh, right. That too. And he was saying like, oh, yeah, you can even like deodorize your car with it. I was like, bro, you're telling me Wow, that's a cool idea. Yeah, and I've been doing this as well like with like my Nike dry fit. Just spray a couple sprays on there. It removes all the sweat smell. It's a cool idea. Yeah, that doesn't quite work with my salt and stone stick. You know, I can't just like rub Santel around my mc car seat. Just like um
00:18:00
Think Fresh
Spreading it all over the leather in your car. Just like what is this guy why is it it absorbing? I thought this was porous. Oh, man. but What did you cop? I saw you leave with a slightly smaller bag than I did. You don't need to say that on my mic. You probably spend more than me, though. No, I only blew like 180. I just bought a reload of my cologne, a Submariner Catch, because tragic moment yesterday era. Oh, no.
00:18:26
Think Fresh
i through my bottle on the ground. You threw it? On the sidewalk, yeah, in anger. What happened? It was an accident. It got stuck to some stuff in my bag and came out with it. I know, I really saw us just watching it explode. It was the most aromatic and just wonderful smelling disaster. Whoa. Yeah, so that that one's a small portable the roll-on oiler. It's an oiler, yeah. So you spoiled the oil?
00:18:58
Think Fresh
It's a spoiler. Spoiler alert. Damn, man. But anyways, I'm happy that you were able to reload. That's nice. yeah It's always good to, I was getting close to the bottom, so it's not a huge tragedy. Probably lost like, I don't know, $30 worth of product. But this is not the first time I've destroyed a bottle like this here. I'm like, I think I've done two or three at this point. I'm probably one bottle away from being like dropping like three figures worth of Aesop on the ground and just throwing it away.
00:19:27
Think Fresh
Wow. And you also carry multiple glass bottles in your tote bag, in your ThinkFresh branded creative director tote bag. That's right. I do. Yeah. In black, black, olive, tasteful. Yeah. Uh, they so much longer available, by the way, sold out. It's, it's in beige now only. Bread, I should say. In bread. In bread.
00:19:48
Think Fresh
Oh, Yeah, it's a good color way. But the glass bottles clink together and when I'm walking, which makes me feel like I'm trying to hide that I'm an alcoholic. When in fact, it's like just Italian mouthwash and Australian cologne. When you say Australian perfume, it just sounds gross. Yeah, dude. It's like, oh, you sound smell like barbecue? Yeah, you smell like fish.
00:20:15
Think Fresh
Dude, like the outback's gotta be stinky. You know, it's hot and sweaty and covered in flies. Boy, I reckon you smell like shit. Damn, you're good at this. I can't do accents. Wait, I reckon you smell like shit. See?
00:20:30
Think Fresh
That sounds like a homeless person in Manchester or something. Yeah, it does. Maybe that's the only accent I can do. Yeah, you just kind of like, you just tighten every muscle in your face and you say something and then that's what comes out. who I tighten my rectals. The manager at ASOP would love to hear that. ah Can I speak to your manager, please? I need to rectify my rectum.
00:20:58
Think Fresh
Dude, one thing I love about ASOP is they don't make commentary on my pores, my dry skin.
Compliments and Customer Service
00:21:03
Think Fresh
You know, you go into Sephora, you start talking to them, and they're like, oh yeah, I did notice that. Yeah. Well, they compliment me at ASOP. They say, your skin's flawless, by the way. I was like, oh. They did not tell you that, did they? They said that today. And I was like, wow. I know you're buttering me up because I'm about to drop three bills here. But I got to say, I love it, Ty. Wow. That is so nice of them. Yeah. I got none of that except for they were just buttering you up to me, too.
00:21:27
Think Fresh
They buttered me up to you. That's awesome. How did you get in that situation where like... All of y'all of you'all talk about meat. You're the customer as well. I know. Where's my butter?
00:21:45
Think Fresh
Give me some butter with this. Come on. Did you ever did you go to ASOP when they had the bread and like nuts outside? I think so, yeah. I remember having a snack there once. A cup of tea. A cup of tea and some like artisanal like Instagram bread. That shit was good as hell.
00:22:03
Think Fresh
I went to Bocce, Vancouver designer Lightning Man, had a VIP night last night for their warehouse sale, which of course I get invited to. Yeah, today it was on, but there was like a charity the version today, right? Today is like the ah public day. ah my My apology. It's okay. I would never try to...
00:22:22
Think Fresh
Mix those two for you. It's okay. It's okay. But this is my first year at VIP and I gotta tell you the charcuterie is different now. It's way better. Okay, Mr. Hollywood. It's such a better charcuterie. Their Instagram bread was...
00:22:36
Think Fresh
And the cheese selection was fantastic. You wouldn't think a lighting company could do so well. Yeah. I noticed today in the store, they had those like little collaboration bulbs. Did you see them hanging? Portable ones, yeah. I thought about copying one. I just,
Design Preferences: Bocci Lighting
00:22:50
Think Fresh
I don't know. It's like $450 for like a camping light. I know. I mean, you could probably put it on your desk at home. That'd be kind of nice. It'd be good for the patio too. Or patio, bro. Come on. Yeah, dude, that'd be nice.
00:23:03
Think Fresh
um Personally, I've never gravitated towards the bocce lights for some reason. They're kind of quirky. They're not a quirky guy. You're too timeless for it. Yeah. They're not brutal enough for me. The 28s though, if you're familiar with the 28 series. That is the size I'm guessing. I don't know. I think they're numbered by in linear order actually from time of invention. Got it. Okay. yeah They're really small, really heavy. I think those would look really nice in your above your kitchen island.
00:23:28
Think Fresh
Yeah, except I'll have like the intrusive thought every morning of like slapping it. Slapping the ball. Kind of like when the team runs out onto the court, they slap the board, they slap the logo above the dressing room. Yeah, yeah that what ah that's what I would do every time I you know leave the crib. Dude, I get that. That's how I feel every time I see the meatballs in Subway. Slap, slap, slap. Get my hand in there. Yeah. Feel around. Fond all of it.
00:23:54
Think Fresh
Anyways, Ty, I would love to fondle this episode a little longer, but we have a lot to get through today, so I say we move on to the next one. Let's go. Ciao. Talk to you later.