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375 — Swallow's Eve
28 Plays17 days ago
Ty & Eric go undercover outside Subway and witness a real brawl unfold, as well as discuss Halloween 2024, why Love Island is a polycule muse, dressing up as your favourite sandwich artist, whether it’s acceptable to wear a costume as an adult, and dressing up as Diddy at work.
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Transcript
Welcome to 'Sandwich Town'
00:00:04
thinkfresh
breheads It's your hosts, Chief Anchor, Eric and Ty, coming to you live on the ground. Ground zero inch at Subway HQ. Well, not HQ, but HQ to us because it is our regular Subway that we are once again postponed outside.
00:00:22
thinkfresh
That's right, baby. The two co-mayors of Sandwich Town are in business right now and we have quite a bit of action today. The scene of folding is complicated and confusing and and difficult to describe.
Chaotic Subway Surroundings
00:00:35
thinkfresh
There's lots happening and I'm watching all angles right now of my vehicle that I'm having to keep safe from dangers ah outside. There's a budget skeleton people hanging out. They're murmuring in the corners of this parking lot, presumably consuming illegal substances. There's a bike sitting in the very middle of the parking lot, very stealable, perhaps already stolen once today.
00:01:04
thinkfresh
Yeah, it's always like unnerving when you pull up to your recording spot. I guess I'm the only one that can relate to this. um You pull up to your recording booth and there's a bike on the ground and there's two people doing drugs behind the car. It almost makes you not want to pop the trunk to get the mic, you know? Yeah, like yeah we we have three MacBooks on us right now. We're easily a target for anybody that wants to just rob too.
Digital Nomad Lifestyles
00:01:30
thinkfresh
to The modern man doesn't have a lot of defensive muscle. Two digital nomads. Exactly. That's a good way to describe our physique. ah Again, bro, do you hit the gym? No, I'm a digital nomad. Of course not. and and i'm I'm hitting airport lounges.
00:01:47
thinkfresh
yeah Not even. I'm paying like 10 cents on a dollar to live in a foreign country just to use their Wi-Fi. Dude, I can't wait till 10 years from now when I leave my smelly wife and move to Thailand. Thailand and Thailand. Thailand and Thailand. Wow.
00:02:03
thinkfresh
after Dude, the city is very leavable, if you get what I'm saying. Oh, I want to leave right now. There's some weirdos around us. Yeah, dude. um But not just the weirdos, the weather, Ty. We're lucky that it's this beautiful sunny day. um We're recording this on Tuesday, even though it's Friday. It's Friday. if you're if you're Oh, we just had the six pull up. We have an interesting. Or the 12,
Surreal Observations
00:02:28
thinkfresh
I should say. Sorry. The 12. I wasn't that hungry.
00:02:31
thinkfresh
they They just made eyes with the skeleton people, a little bit of a nod. Yeah, an unmarked police vehicle just went through the Starbucks drive-thru, and they ignored the three people doing fentanyl in front of the subway. Yeah. For sure. Dude, officer needs his frat. Yeah, dude. Frat, frat, frat, frat, frat, flop. Yeah.
00:02:52
thinkfresh
I was like, if I get my frappe, then I'll start shooting. You know what's weird? Exactly. If I don't get it made right, if I don't get it half sweet, too much sugar in them, and they're going to, I don't know, do something yeah questionable. But I actually think we kind of look like undercover cops right now, Eric, because we're just two guys sitting in the front seat of a car, not patroning the business, the subway in
Loitering Humor
00:03:15
thinkfresh
front of us. And we have a bunch of screens and devices in front of us. And that just screams cop car to me. It does.
00:03:21
thinkfresh
I always think about like what does the subway manager think about us? you know like like In particular this one where we're always parked outside. like does he Is he aware of us?
00:03:33
thinkfresh
or is it just like What's going on with that? You're talking about it like he's like the subway manager is our crush. It's like, do they even know we exist? ah I mean, you've heard it here first, folks. If you see a sign that's customers only in the parking lot, just ignore that. That means absolutely nothing. They're not enforcing that whatsoever. Those are not enforced. I see so many people around us that are definitely not customers. Yeah.
00:04:00
thinkfresh
Do you think that the subway minimum wage employee right now is like going to put down the gloves to call the tow truck? I don't think so. No. For sure. He doesn't give two shits. Dude, the only toes he cares about are footlongs. Those aren't toes. Those are his utensils for making the sandwich. Yeah, exactly. That's how he slices the meat, man. What are you talking about?
00:04:20
thinkfresh
Um, yeah, customers only,
Subway's Unconventional Bouncers
00:04:23
thinkfresh
there are no customers at this subway, Eric, because we are holding, we are denying subway a customer by loitering in this parking spot all day. Who do you think denying subway more business us or these three med addicts? three meth addicts are they're actually like gate they're physically blocking people from getting into the restaurant right now they've set up camp immediately outside the door that's right like if we came here for lunch and saw this i don't think we would go past them i think we would just turn around like like every club should hire one of these guys as a bouncer because no one's coming in
00:04:56
thinkfresh
let's do You have to be the of the strong-minded or ah intoxicated to dare pass this bouncer. That's right. Wow. This is quite a sight, guys. I don't want to make high contact for too long because I don't want to be approached. We have a couple of episodes to get through.
Weather and Mental States
00:05:13
thinkfresh
i don't I don't think they know we exist either. I question our existence all the time, Eric. That's right.
00:05:20
thinkfresh
So you were going to say some kind of ah presumably intelligent thought about the weather. No no such thing exists. Weather is just, ah you know, fake news, Ty. They and talk about weather because they have nothing else to talk about. And you can't prove them wrong. It's true. Is it going to rain tomorrow? I don't know. but I have to take your word for it.
00:05:40
thinkfresh
That's such a universal topic. I feel like the weather of this podcast is the sandwich artist's mental state. I feel like when in debt we fall back to dunking on the old artist, you know? Like what's wrong with them? Why didn't they think it through?
00:05:58
thinkfresh
Yeah, it's kind of like us complaining about the footlongs not being $5 anymore. it's like giving It's giving a real old man yells at cloud. Totally. It's universal though. you know It transcends generations. It transcends ah race, sex, like everything. like Unless you were already rich during the $5 footlong, which likely most people
Halloween and Society
00:06:20
thinkfresh
weren't because that was pre like-hyperinflation, then you felt it. You felt the change.
00:06:28
thinkfresh
We've all felt the change recently, Ty, that's for sure. um But my thought about the weather was, we just came out of... great rainstorm of 2024. 72 hours of showers. Straight showering, bro. Yeah, dude. God, I don't want to see that. This person's bending over. Oh, no. Oh, Oh, wow. um Anyways, what did you how did you survive the great storm of of this year? Yeah, I know they get hurricane season down and ah in Florida, but we have our own challenges up here. We're dealing with
00:07:02
thinkfresh
Um, it feels like, ah yeah, it is an atmospheric river. Truly. i I stayed inside the whole time. I did a really good job eating pasta and eating curry, all these warm soupy fluid or like soupy things with grain. It requires a spoon is what you're saying.
00:07:22
thinkfresh
Yeah, spoon fed food. um I have my silver spoon at home. So does Bay ever just, you know, take the control of the utensil and go, here comes the airplane. a chiu I always try to like open up for mama, but it's it's tough to je to create that type of relationship with Bay, you know?
00:07:43
thinkfresh
You need to ease into it. I think it just kind of happens to most of our listeners. ah because The primary female figure most of our listeners life did that when they were a baby for them. 100%. And they look for partners who can continue the trend. You know, they're not looking to take care of someone.
00:08:00
thinkfresh
they want to be spoon fed for sure like the old good old times you know because our listeners if they didn't want someone to take care of them like that they wouldn't go to Subway that's where they could just make their own sandwich it wouldn't be our listeners Yeah. I'm like so distracted right now. I'm so confused. There's so many weird things going on in this parking lot today, Eric. I wish this was a video podcast so we could explain more easily what is unfolding. We just saw like there was almost a car crash a second ago. I don't know if the horns picked up on Mike. Yeah.
00:08:37
thinkfresh
A lot of careening happening. lot of People are directing traffic from their driver's seat, which is never a good idea. We just got someone in a full suit. that said goodbye graffiti on it, walk into Starbucks. Oh, dude, that's a great costume if you're planning to graffiti something. Dude, Halloween idea number one. but We haven't talked about Halloween yet on the show. I don't know if this will even make it in time, yeah but um goodbye graffiti outfit and just have like one can of spray paint, one can of bear spray.
00:09:11
thinkfresh
o And then you can just like eliminate the threat easier, you know? Dude, yeah, you're 50-50 without one. Yeah. Red or black. Yeah, exactly. If you ever get in the scuffle, because obviously Halloween, it's like you're drinking, you're partying, and there's a few scuffles that happen eventually. eventually if you' if you're not having a scuffle on halloween you're not either your costume is not racist enough uh you're not drinking enough those are the parameters no yeah dude drunk racists shine on halloween so do you think blackface is gonna make a comeback
00:09:49
thinkfresh
I think that's a little bit too hot to touch right now. I can see a few people in sombreros this year, you know? Sombreros are making a soft launch, I think. Yeah, exactly. They're making a soft comeback. Just like the soft shell taco, they they are so back this year. Perhaps even ah ah like a turban on a white man, you could see. You could go as Trudeau in his 20s, and you can get a double, you know, two for one,
Cultural Stereotypes and Humor
00:10:12
thinkfresh
turban, brown face. Dude, that's perfect. And like, it's not racist if you're going as a white dude.
00:10:18
thinkfresh
Yeah, what's up with that? yeah There's layers to this shit. yeah um Will you be dressing up as a sandwich artist for the fifth year in a row? Fifth year in a row, hey? and No, I won't be. I don't dress up for Halloween and you know this about me because I think that's for children and I'm not a child. Dressing dressing up? Are you serious, Ty? Do you hear yourself?
00:10:38
thinkfresh
I am notoriously anti-escapism, as you know. You love to be present. You're a present king. Exactly. I'm a realistic boy. and But the thing is, I don't think of Halloween ah dressing up as escapism. I see it as this, it's like a crossover episode where instead of we are bearing witness to the crossover, the crossover is happening in our reality. It's crossing over to our dimension. So I think of Halloween as the most realistic holiday. You know, you're not sitting in a room talking about the stories of Jesus's birth or Jesus's death. You're not sitting in a room talking about all of these fictional concepts. The fictional concepts manifest in front of you live
00:11:22
thinkfresh
in your reality and then you have to like I don't know make small talk with a batman in an elevator or give a spider man a chocolate bar it's pretty weird it's weird it's fun I love it it's a freaky little holiday it's freaky it's the uh it's the Kanye quote that says it up sums it up for me Halloween's the one day of the year where we're not wearing a mask. Wow. social and So Yeah, dude. So with that said, are you going to try to Kroger again? Yes, one more year. This is the the biggest challenge with Halloween is the ah need to reinvent the costume. It would be great if like at 15, you just whatever that you were that year, you just you continue to be that for the rest of time. Yeah, you just lock it in. Yeah. And you improve on the costume every year. Costumes would be better in general if everyone committed to the same bit every year.
00:12:16
thinkfresh
who Wow. Yeah, that's actually an interesting point. like People would be scared of you well before the day itself. They'd be scared of you in October 1st. They'd be like, oh, oh, only three more weeks until Ty is dressed up as Diddy again. And they'd be like loathing the day that it comes. He's got he's starting to get into his Diddy-like mannerisms early. How many Diddy costumes that you were going to see this year? Because I'm picturing like either you're dressed up as the baby oil or you're gonna be holding like 10 of them on you dude it's such an iconic costume at this point all white suit couple bottles of lube the glasses dude totally i think it's gonna happen a lot at the frats like i think they're gonna celebrate diddy's culture it's very frat coated yeah but do you think like corporate america will be accepting to that
00:13:05
thinkfresh
Absolutely not. No, these are all homebrew costumes. You're not getting this at Spirit Halloween. Yeah, that's right. Everyone has to have two costumes on them. One for, like, work that' one that's work appropriateri and appropriate, excuse me and one to, like, elicit the most shocking reaction possible at a party. Dude, that's so funny to, like, rip open the superhe like the Superman suit to reveal the ditty tux underneath. like At 5 p.m., you clock out and just tear open the the hero costume.
00:13:33
thinkfresh
Do that. I mean, some some of us don't have to dress up, Ty, and those people are in the parking lot with us right now. They're freaky looking. um Yeah. What are you going to dress up as? I'm obviously going to be myself because I'm not... I don't want to escape anything. What about you? Well, this is the first year of my life that I will be out of country for Halloween. Oh, that's fun. So I will be wearing the costume of a tourist in a foreign land.
00:14:02
thinkfresh
It'd be really funny for you to dress up as the most stereotypical Italian man while you're in Italy. ah ah Like, dress up as Mario. And just, like, walk around and be like, dude. Oh, hey, mama mia. 100%. If I can procure a Mario costume in the next week, I will bring it with me to Italy. That'll be so funny. All you have to do is go shopping in Italy, and it'll be front and center at the store. They're all Mario. Dude, Mario is selling you.
00:14:27
thinkfresh
Oh wow. Okay. Pause on this thought. um The sketchy people at the subway, they are actually doing a good job bouncing. They just, they're, they're all eating pizza, which they clearly didn't buy at subway, but they're opening the door and holding it open for people as they go in. We should talk to them later. I think get them on mic is the move. Yeah. Like, excuse me, sir. Do you know that they even, they have a pizza sub here. You don't need to eat a traditional pizza. Yeah.
00:14:57
thinkfresh
Wow. Um, that was nice. I saw that as well. The woman had a stroller. So it tells you that, you know, and these, um, ghouls are aware of their surroundings. They're empathetic women and children first into subway. The actual costume that I was going to be this year, Eric was Rob and Leah from love Island. I was so excited for it, but then now my Halloween plants have shifted.
00:15:24
thinkfresh
So this is a tough one. Obviously, dressing up as Rob, there's a few moves you can make here. You can get a fake snake tat. You can wear a bucket hat of some sort, or a cowboy hat, denim overalls. You can cry in the pool. That would be a fun move. Dude, tap into my emotional side. It's just acting, guys. Dude, yeah. I just had a mental breakdown on episode one of this fucking show.
00:15:48
thinkfresh
um but We got to get him on the pod. Anyways, how is Bae going to dress up as Leah? Because she's just kind of a normal chick. Talking about Leah, of course. Yeah, of course. ah She has a particular style of dress that she always wore in the show. um It was like but with the neckline. And then I think it's about just hair and makeup.
00:16:10
thinkfresh
That was basically it. It's really leaning on Rob to like kind of sell the couple costume. Yeah, you will be the protagonist here. For sure. With Bae being the supporting cast. I'm going to win the costume contest and she'll have to applaud them aside. It's kind of unfortunate, Ty. And I feel bad for your partner because this is year two now where you've taken the lead on the costume. And I just got to say, how does that make her feel? you know like I think women want to have a chance to shine as well. Dude, you know, you're right. Women deserve to be the main character in in the costume once in a while. They gotta, they gotta earn that. They gotta fight for that if they want it. Yeah, dude. Everyone's probably noticing like, wait a second, Ty's always the one.
00:16:53
thinkfresh
Who is ah like more dressed up than Bay? What's going on there? It's crazy women are so into like closing the wage gap, but no one is like Fighting for their right to be the primary costume in the couple costume not with you in the equation Dominate I can tell you're the type of guy to have a mood board in August. Like, okay, bae, Halloween 2024 is coming up. what What are we doing? I do have some great lists of possible costume ideas. I always keep a list going because you never know when you're going to get one. I want to add one to your list and I'm pretty sure it's not going to be on there. So you can go ahead and tell me. And then I'm going to add one at the end.
00:17:35
thinkfresh
Okay. The last one is literally Robin Leah from Love Island USA. Yeah. Well, I don't want to, I don't want to give away all my great ideas, but. The one I've been trying for years was I want to be a Navy SEAL, and then I want Bay to dress up as Osama Bin Laden. and Nice. I think that would be so funny. I think take it a step further and go as Obama. Obama and Osama. Obama and Osama? Osama and Osama. And then you can say things like, we got them. Yeah, that's true. We got them. Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. That is cool. Yeah, why would I want to be just a lowly SEAL? yeah An anonymous little SEAL.
00:18:14
thinkfresh
Yeah, well I could be top dog. Exactly. Commander in chief. Mm-hmm. Wow. So that's cool. A few other good options here. Go to a couple, Justin and Haley. Every year they're pretty iconic. Of course. The Biebs. Oh, here's a good one. I would be Nemo. And my partner would be the girl from Finding Nemo. Dory? No, not Dory, dummy. The braces and the pigtails. Oh, the literal girl. The literal, the only human in the entire show.
00:18:45
thinkfresh
That's cool. And then she could like reel you in or something. That'd be a nice little accessory to have. um Ty, I just thought of something. If you rent as Rob and Leah, and you had a like love triangle in real life. That'd be cool. It'd be kind of fun to have like, like, ah what's what's one of the other girls?
00:19:05
thinkfresh
What's your name? Megan. What's the, like, Latina's name? Penny? Oh, Ali? Allison? That's a safe bet. Olivia? Something like that. I don't know, the one that got voted off and then they had to, like, they cried for, like, three episodes. Of course. Okay, so pause that. I think that one of the the guys that's been hanging outside the building is trying to break into the dumpster? No, he's just trying to throw a pizza box in the dumpster.
00:19:32
thinkfresh
So confused. ah Dude, okay. Maybe Love Island as a costume is best served for a polycule, you know? Maybe a typical two-person relationship isn't appropriate for this type of costume. We're not taking full advantage of the of the format. Totally, right? It's kind of like not toasting your sub. Exactly. It's like you're not, it's like there's a toaster right there, bro. Just make it better. h You can make your sandwich better. Would you like to do that?
00:20:02
thinkfresh
Yeah, exactly. So like, if you're in a polyamorous relationship and you're listening, which highly unlikely you're in any relationship, um maybe you should be tall, violent cast in that. I will give that one to you for free. You're welcome, breadheads. Dude, a sad one would be like the the voters on that show. The anonymous voters? I'm the public. I am a text message.
00:20:31
thinkfresh
Oh yeah, you guys can scream, I got a text. ah Random moments throughout the night. Dude, yeah, easy. That's an easy, busy play. Yeah. I'm sure everyone would love that. Honestly, the costume's got legs. um Anyways, here's my one that I want to add for you. um I think, Ty, you should go. This is not a couple of costumes, just solo, since you want all the spotlight anyway. Facts. This one is Trump at McDonald's. Oh, shit. Dude, dress up as a Republican nominee wearing the McDonald's apron. That is really funny. You got the mega hat with the McDonald's pin on it. Totally, dude. The mega hairnet.
00:21:09
thinkfresh
There's there was a missed branding opportunity here to render the mega hat with the golden arches for the M's. That would have looked pretty sick, honestly, as merch. Mm hmm. Oh, man. Okay.
Tension and Departure
00:21:20
thinkfresh
I know we're already in the 20 minute mark, but we got to talk about this. So Donald ah stages this McDonald, if you will. Donald Trump stages this um weird thing. What is Oh, shit. Well, fuck. No way.
00:21:39
thinkfresh
I'm not sure what's going on here. Can you lock the doors? Okay, so two of the people are fist fighting like immediately in front of our car. That's why we both went quiet. They're fighting over the bike. I'm not going to make eye contact. attack I'm a little nervous because he looks very angry. What do we do, Eric?
00:21:59
thinkfresh
Oh, someone tried to steal his bike. I would do the same thing, Ty. So one of the guys just tried to steal the other guy's bike and he literally got punched. That's crazy. And now there's an ambulance here. What is going on? Oh my God. I mean, Ty, if you think about it, that played out exactly as it should have. Yeah, it did. That is really weird timing. That was the most normal thing I've seen. them do Yeah, fair enough.
00:22:24
thinkfresh
Okay, now they're, they're ringing around your car. I don't know. They're good. Dude, one of us this thing one of those guys just about got pushed into the hood of your vehicle. Wouldn't that be crazy if you had to get out and throw hands because they dented your whips hood.
00:22:38
thinkfresh
i wouldn't I wouldn't throw hands. I would ah start the engine, put it in D, if you know what I mean. Yeah. D-Rive. Do we leave the breadheads on this cliffhanger? Yeah, let's talk about this next episode. We've done we've done enough today. We've got to get out of here. Yeah, we've got to literally vacate. Oh, wow. OK, good. He threw me a thumbs up. I don't know if you saw. I didn't catch that. Yeah, he's all good. OK, good. We've exchanged eye contact a few times. So i didn' not I didn't realize you were making friends during this episode. Yeah, I think we're in a good place. a good spot with the guys here. They're our protectors now. They are. Wow, that was wild. Well, I'm happy they're leaving. Me too. We are too. And we're also leaving. That's crazy. Like seven people in this parking lot for half an hour and not a single person bought a subway sandwich. Not one person. I mean, we we should check on the mother and child, that one in there. yeah But I'm sure they're fine. Watching the scene unfold from the inside the behind the glass. They're behind the glass partition.
00:23:37
thinkfresh
Wow. Brett heads. Thank you for listening. This has been so much fun. Think fresh, everybody. but Bye bye.